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So Much More
This book is not another Christian-teenage-girl ''survival guide.'' So Much More shows how Christian girls can wage war with the world and win. The Botkin sisters focus on how young women can rise above their God-hating culture and change it for the better. Today, countless young ladies face difficult problems and challenging questions. While many long for godly purpose in their lives, their bewilderment mounts when they observe broken homes, distant fathers, overwhelmed mothers, degrading college courses, and a lack of spiritual guidance --” both at home and at church. As hope for security and stability fades, it is no wonder that many young ladies feel orphaned, unprotected, and without hope for their futures. Within the pages of this book, discover practical, biblical solutions for the young woman who wants to do so much more than just ''survive'' in a savagely feministic, anti-Christian culture. Find the answers a girl is not likely to get from her church, her peers, or her culture.
333 pages, Hardcover
First published October 17, 2005
27 people are currently reading
520 people want to read
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September 21, 2014
This is going to be controversial...I don't really know why I'm doing this, other than I slowly want to write reviews for all the books I've read, soooo... :) Oooookay, here I go.
I first read So Much More about nine years ago, and it became my Bible. I ate, drank, slept, walked, talked, and breathed it. I patterned my life after the rules set in the books, I squashed all ideas of anything in my life other than "serving my father" and quoted the Botkin sisters as if they were Jesus.
Now, nine years (and way too much life experience) later, I am still dealing with the deep repercussions of the ideas in this book, still struggling with scars, handicaps, and triggers that this book inflicted on my mindset and view of life. I would not put this in the hands of any Christian teenager (or any Christian period), which is why I got rid of my copy before my teenage sisters could get a hold of it. :) I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that the Botkins had the best of intentions in writing this and I would never want to doubt their personal integrity, but the amount of legalism, shaming, dehumanizing, and blanket-condemning in their book is shocking. Yet so many well meaning Christians swallow their ideas whole, all in the name of "Biblical womanhood". The ideas presented in this book are not biblical womanhood.
I am all for daughters have close relationships with their fathers. But I have seen and know too well how positions of power can be abused when men are puffed up by the idea of superiority that the Botkins inadvertently teach. Total, unquestionable power is not good or healthy for anyone, including fathers, and I've seen firsthand the results of fathers who exercise complete authority over their adult daughters. I know how crippling it can be when they are rudely thrust into the "real life" that they were never prepared for, or are left in a childlike dependence on men for the rest of their life. This is not Biblical, this is a throwback to the 19th century, where men could do whatever they wanted, live immoral lifestyles unquestioned and untarnished, and yet women were degraded and treated as less worthy than their male counterparts. These girls are not taught basic issues like consent and the power to say no if needed, which leads to abuse and scandal (as has been seen recently) because they are taught that they can never disobey authority.
There is an element of radical feminism that pushes for female superiority and the eradication of men, but they are only a part of feminism (just as there are extremists in any group). Yet the Botkins paint them all with the broad brush of "Marxism", which instantly condemns and demeans all feminists to a faceless "it" instead of individuals, many of whom are passionate about basic equality, not superiority. The complete lack of research in the book leads one to ask where they got their information and why it is all one-sided.
Daughters are not to be "second help meets" for their fathers. If a girl chooses to forgo higher education or pursuing a career, that is her choice and she is welcome to it. However, she should not be seen as "free labor" or as a wife-without-benefits, either. There are psychological studies that confirm how damaging this is to girls, even so far as to label it "emotional incest". Again, I am not against a healthy father-daughter relationship. But being a second wife is not healthy. Your father's dreams, goals, and needs are not your responsibility as a daughter.
While I no longer consider myself to be a proponent of the courtship/modesty/purity culture pushed by the Botkins and many in the homeschool circles, I respect those who choose to have "intentional relationships" or seek advice from authority figures in their life. That being said, the stringent, chaperoned, supervised arrangements set up by the authoritarian father figures that is applauded in this book and practiced by many very well known homeschool celebrities goes beyond the bounds of responsible relationships. Relationships go from the messy, beautiful, unpredictable gray areas that they are and become stringent, void of true emotion, and black and white. While they may work, they often leave the couples with handicaps and hangups that they have to work through after marriage. Girls are shamed into believing that natural emotions are evil, which only hinders them later on down the road in marriage and alters the way they view themselves.
Fear-mongering is not the way to instruct people. Demeaning groups of people and exalting your way as "the only way" is not the way to instruct people. And imposing unhealthy standards that are not Biblical and shame young women is not the way to instruct people. For this reason I no longer approve or recommend this book. It had an incredibly negative impact on my life, and if I could do anything, I would want to save young, impressionable women like my sisters from suffering from the same guilt and shame that I carried most of my life. Don't read this book. Life and the opportunities God has planned for you in it are "so much more" than this book would have you believe.
I first read So Much More about nine years ago, and it became my Bible. I ate, drank, slept, walked, talked, and breathed it. I patterned my life after the rules set in the books, I squashed all ideas of anything in my life other than "serving my father" and quoted the Botkin sisters as if they were Jesus.
Now, nine years (and way too much life experience) later, I am still dealing with the deep repercussions of the ideas in this book, still struggling with scars, handicaps, and triggers that this book inflicted on my mindset and view of life. I would not put this in the hands of any Christian teenager (or any Christian period), which is why I got rid of my copy before my teenage sisters could get a hold of it. :) I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that the Botkins had the best of intentions in writing this and I would never want to doubt their personal integrity, but the amount of legalism, shaming, dehumanizing, and blanket-condemning in their book is shocking. Yet so many well meaning Christians swallow their ideas whole, all in the name of "Biblical womanhood". The ideas presented in this book are not biblical womanhood.
I am all for daughters have close relationships with their fathers. But I have seen and know too well how positions of power can be abused when men are puffed up by the idea of superiority that the Botkins inadvertently teach. Total, unquestionable power is not good or healthy for anyone, including fathers, and I've seen firsthand the results of fathers who exercise complete authority over their adult daughters. I know how crippling it can be when they are rudely thrust into the "real life" that they were never prepared for, or are left in a childlike dependence on men for the rest of their life. This is not Biblical, this is a throwback to the 19th century, where men could do whatever they wanted, live immoral lifestyles unquestioned and untarnished, and yet women were degraded and treated as less worthy than their male counterparts. These girls are not taught basic issues like consent and the power to say no if needed, which leads to abuse and scandal (as has been seen recently) because they are taught that they can never disobey authority.
There is an element of radical feminism that pushes for female superiority and the eradication of men, but they are only a part of feminism (just as there are extremists in any group). Yet the Botkins paint them all with the broad brush of "Marxism", which instantly condemns and demeans all feminists to a faceless "it" instead of individuals, many of whom are passionate about basic equality, not superiority. The complete lack of research in the book leads one to ask where they got their information and why it is all one-sided.
Daughters are not to be "second help meets" for their fathers. If a girl chooses to forgo higher education or pursuing a career, that is her choice and she is welcome to it. However, she should not be seen as "free labor" or as a wife-without-benefits, either. There are psychological studies that confirm how damaging this is to girls, even so far as to label it "emotional incest". Again, I am not against a healthy father-daughter relationship. But being a second wife is not healthy. Your father's dreams, goals, and needs are not your responsibility as a daughter.
While I no longer consider myself to be a proponent of the courtship/modesty/purity culture pushed by the Botkins and many in the homeschool circles, I respect those who choose to have "intentional relationships" or seek advice from authority figures in their life. That being said, the stringent, chaperoned, supervised arrangements set up by the authoritarian father figures that is applauded in this book and practiced by many very well known homeschool celebrities goes beyond the bounds of responsible relationships. Relationships go from the messy, beautiful, unpredictable gray areas that they are and become stringent, void of true emotion, and black and white. While they may work, they often leave the couples with handicaps and hangups that they have to work through after marriage. Girls are shamed into believing that natural emotions are evil, which only hinders them later on down the road in marriage and alters the way they view themselves.
Fear-mongering is not the way to instruct people. Demeaning groups of people and exalting your way as "the only way" is not the way to instruct people. And imposing unhealthy standards that are not Biblical and shame young women is not the way to instruct people. For this reason I no longer approve or recommend this book. It had an incredibly negative impact on my life, and if I could do anything, I would want to save young, impressionable women like my sisters from suffering from the same guilt and shame that I carried most of my life. Don't read this book. Life and the opportunities God has planned for you in it are "so much more" than this book would have you believe.
April 27, 2022
This book is laced with binding legalism that just simply does not exist in the bible. The scripture used is out of context and stretched to the extreme to fit man's legalistic views of womanhood confining her abilities to those that do not and can not extend past the home front. Simply put - - - if you want to limit God in the life of your daughter read and apply this book. If you want to release the power of God in your daughter and teach her to embrace ALL of her identity in Christ choose another book. I am a stay at home mom - this is not the life that all women have been called to: Esther was a powerful queen, Deborah a mighty military leader, Anna a servant in the temple, Lydia a business owner, and there are many more that were more than mothers confined to home. Though I believe as a mother my first and foremost ministry is that of my children I know I have been called to much more. I did not complete college only because God called me to a different life, not because of a legalistic view that this would somehow corrupt me as a Godly women.
Carefully look at this book and prayerfully line it up with the Living Scriptures of a MIGHTY CAN DO ANYTHING God!
EDITED TO ADD:
At the age of 43, 12 years after the original posting of this review I would like to add this. I have now served in ministry along side my husband for 25 years. I completed a Double Major with a Minor in Biblical Studies at the age of 40 while homeschooling children. I still am homeschooling and raising kids - I now have ten children with an age range of 21 years old down to 9 months old.
My original thoughts on this book still stand. Womanhood, Biblical Womanhood is multifaceted and "so Much More" than what this book allows woman to be. Though being a stay at home mom is my calling it is not the calling God has placed on every woman. One ministry facet that I serve in, that God has called me to, is the encouragement and an empowerment of women; teaching Godly characteristics and seeing the fruit of such. I am called to Titus 2 minsitries to women of all ages and demographics. This means I meet them where they are in life, and encourage them in what God has called them to and gifted them in. I enjoy public speaking and teaching in small or large group settings. So Much More - it such a wonderful sentiment - because we are so much more than what we are being told by this world. ;-) Just thought I would update this to add a little more insight.
Carefully look at this book and prayerfully line it up with the Living Scriptures of a MIGHTY CAN DO ANYTHING God!
EDITED TO ADD:
At the age of 43, 12 years after the original posting of this review I would like to add this. I have now served in ministry along side my husband for 25 years. I completed a Double Major with a Minor in Biblical Studies at the age of 40 while homeschooling children. I still am homeschooling and raising kids - I now have ten children with an age range of 21 years old down to 9 months old.
My original thoughts on this book still stand. Womanhood, Biblical Womanhood is multifaceted and "so Much More" than what this book allows woman to be. Though being a stay at home mom is my calling it is not the calling God has placed on every woman. One ministry facet that I serve in, that God has called me to, is the encouragement and an empowerment of women; teaching Godly characteristics and seeing the fruit of such. I am called to Titus 2 minsitries to women of all ages and demographics. This means I meet them where they are in life, and encourage them in what God has called them to and gifted them in. I enjoy public speaking and teaching in small or large group settings. So Much More - it such a wonderful sentiment - because we are so much more than what we are being told by this world. ;-) Just thought I would update this to add a little more insight.
January 14, 2015
I just finished So Much More: The Remarkable Influence of Visionary Daughters on the Kingdom of God and I have to say I was very unimpressed. Actually I was more than unimpressed. I think the book is pretty bad.
I recognize that Godly womanhood is under fire in today’s world, but I kind of think Godliness has always been under fire. It’s tough to be a believer. In John 15 Jesus says “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you…If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.” As believers, we shouldn’t be surprised that Jesus’s prediction is true. So, yes, being Godly will put you in a position of opposition to the world.
So, I appreciate the fact that these girls are questioning things the world takes for granted: “Everyone needs to go to college,” “Independent is the way to be!” “Birth control for at least the first year of marriage,” “Of course women should have their own careers.” All of these things the world, and to a certain extent the church just swallows as truths without much examination. But I feel like the girls made their arguments very poorly.
First, a caveat, when I say girls I really mean it. At the time this book was written they were 17 and 19. I think they are thoughtful young women with good hearts and I think they were very zealous for Godly femininity. I just think a few more years would have given them some perspective. I guess I’m more surprised that there were adults in their lives that let them write this sort of thing and put a stamp of approval on it.
I think my first clue to the fact that there would be theological problems was when the young authors said, “Many of the answers and solutions we…have found will seem incredibly extreme and drastic. We believe that in a day of extreme apostasy and judgment, extreme measures are exactly what are called for, and that a drastic step in the opposite direction is exactly what we need to take.” First of all, this assumes our struggles are far and away harder than the struggles of any other Christian civilization throughout history. Not true! Also, I’m going to need some biblical proof that the answer to a problem is to take a “drastic step in the opposite direction.” I think there are plenty of directives God gives us as to how to live a wise Christian life and if we just followed them (which is hard enough) we’ll be fine. I don’t think we need to go beyond what God has told us to do.
Anyway, the rest of the book is basically rules for living in a way that shows direct opposition to the world. 1. Women must submit to the headship of fathers or husbands; 2. Women should never go to college because every woman who goes to college loses her faith or exits an embittered feminist; 3. It’s best women never work. Ever. But if you must be a “wage slave” work under another Christian woman because male bosses are just RIPE for sexual encounters with their employees; 4. Women must never enter the mission field, unless accompanied by their husbands; 5. Women should never be in leadership positions, not just in the church, which is as far as the bible goes, but in any leadership position ever.
Ok, outside of the first rule, obviously there is plenty to make fun of. Like I said, I love when Christians challenge the world’s thinking, but I think where the bible is silent we should be too. The much touted Proverbs 31 woman works publicly and at home. Priscilla and Aquila BOTH were tent makers. God just doesn’t say whether women should or should not work outside the home. The girls did somewhat hesitatingly admit that going to college, getting a job, etc wasn’t actually a sin, but then they proceeded to heap guilt on you about it.
Anyway, I guess reading the book made me think I was reading a book written by a conspiracy theorist. They had all these examples of women whose lives fell apart in college or who finally found fulfillment in working at home after trying to find in everywhere else. I don’t deny the truth of those stories. I just have a feeling the Botkin sisters would deny my story or the stories of other women I know who have been through college and/or jobs and made it through with our faith still intact and our lives pretty joyful. They’d probably just say that I was well-intentioned and thought I had it together but I didn’t really. You just can’t argue with someone like that.
I would like to know how they would respond when I tell them that due to my college degree I am a better helpmeet to my husband. He actually said it would have been very tough to marry someone who hadn't gone through college. So...hah!
I recognize that Godly womanhood is under fire in today’s world, but I kind of think Godliness has always been under fire. It’s tough to be a believer. In John 15 Jesus says “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you…If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.” As believers, we shouldn’t be surprised that Jesus’s prediction is true. So, yes, being Godly will put you in a position of opposition to the world.
So, I appreciate the fact that these girls are questioning things the world takes for granted: “Everyone needs to go to college,” “Independent is the way to be!” “Birth control for at least the first year of marriage,” “Of course women should have their own careers.” All of these things the world, and to a certain extent the church just swallows as truths without much examination. But I feel like the girls made their arguments very poorly.
First, a caveat, when I say girls I really mean it. At the time this book was written they were 17 and 19. I think they are thoughtful young women with good hearts and I think they were very zealous for Godly femininity. I just think a few more years would have given them some perspective. I guess I’m more surprised that there were adults in their lives that let them write this sort of thing and put a stamp of approval on it.
I think my first clue to the fact that there would be theological problems was when the young authors said, “Many of the answers and solutions we…have found will seem incredibly extreme and drastic. We believe that in a day of extreme apostasy and judgment, extreme measures are exactly what are called for, and that a drastic step in the opposite direction is exactly what we need to take.” First of all, this assumes our struggles are far and away harder than the struggles of any other Christian civilization throughout history. Not true! Also, I’m going to need some biblical proof that the answer to a problem is to take a “drastic step in the opposite direction.” I think there are plenty of directives God gives us as to how to live a wise Christian life and if we just followed them (which is hard enough) we’ll be fine. I don’t think we need to go beyond what God has told us to do.
Anyway, the rest of the book is basically rules for living in a way that shows direct opposition to the world. 1. Women must submit to the headship of fathers or husbands; 2. Women should never go to college because every woman who goes to college loses her faith or exits an embittered feminist; 3. It’s best women never work. Ever. But if you must be a “wage slave” work under another Christian woman because male bosses are just RIPE for sexual encounters with their employees; 4. Women must never enter the mission field, unless accompanied by their husbands; 5. Women should never be in leadership positions, not just in the church, which is as far as the bible goes, but in any leadership position ever.
Ok, outside of the first rule, obviously there is plenty to make fun of. Like I said, I love when Christians challenge the world’s thinking, but I think where the bible is silent we should be too. The much touted Proverbs 31 woman works publicly and at home. Priscilla and Aquila BOTH were tent makers. God just doesn’t say whether women should or should not work outside the home. The girls did somewhat hesitatingly admit that going to college, getting a job, etc wasn’t actually a sin, but then they proceeded to heap guilt on you about it.
Anyway, I guess reading the book made me think I was reading a book written by a conspiracy theorist. They had all these examples of women whose lives fell apart in college or who finally found fulfillment in working at home after trying to find in everywhere else. I don’t deny the truth of those stories. I just have a feeling the Botkin sisters would deny my story or the stories of other women I know who have been through college and/or jobs and made it through with our faith still intact and our lives pretty joyful. They’d probably just say that I was well-intentioned and thought I had it together but I didn’t really. You just can’t argue with someone like that.
I would like to know how they would respond when I tell them that due to my college degree I am a better helpmeet to my husband. He actually said it would have been very tough to marry someone who hadn't gone through college. So...hah!
March 15, 2010
I appreciate the sisters trying to write a book about father-daughter relationships, but I think they take it to an extreme, implying that a daughter should be a helpmeet to her father (when it should be the wife) or saying that daughters should wear their father's favorite colors to please him. The book itself was poorly written and, while it was a bit thought-provoking, came across as immature and not well thought-out. I think part of the problem is that they were teenagers when they wrote this and seem to have little true experience with the world beyond what they've heard from other people.
July 16, 2014
I had to read this book as research for a project. At first, it was kind of a fun peek into the fundamentalist Christian culture but by the end, I really understood how Dumbledore must have felt at the end of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, where he had to drink all of that horrible liquid in order to reach the Horcrux.
Read
July 13, 2017Read this for the first time a few years ago...then, I'm sure I must have agreed with a lot of this book, (or didn't have the discernment to see what I did or didn't agree with). Tried again a couple years ago and couldn't make it past the first chapter. I was concerned that maybe my attitude was wrong, but I've realized now that although I believe fathers and daughters should have a good relationship, a lot of what is presented in this book is merely an opinion, and not a reality (also, definitely not Biblical!). As daughters, we SHOULD be honoring and loving as God has commanded children, but we are not to be our father's second help-meet. I'm sure if I read this book more thoroughly now I would find many things that I would probably still agree with, but the mindset of a patriarchal belief that the authors and others that were associated with this former publication is extremely harmful and not Biblical!
September 21, 2016
While this book makes some good points and can be useful in some areas of life, the main message is not really biblical. Nowhere in the bible does it say that a daughter must treat her father like a future husband and be his helpmate. Also, their criticism of women in the workplace and in college is, I believe, completely unrealistic and again, not biblical. Many of the verses they use are twisted around to fit their agenda, and I don't believe they approach this issue wanting to find out what the bible really says about it. I believe this way of life is their preference and something they want others to consider, and they try to make the bible stand behind their position. I'm sure they're wonderful and godly girls, but I think they're very mistaken.
Edit:
It's been about 10 years now since I first read this book, and several years since writing the above review. It seems very sweet and understanding in retrospect. Now that I am a married, adult woman living my own life, I see what utter and complete poison the message of this book is.
I had friends who followed the philosophy of this book, and I can tell you it has ruined lives and led to more abuse than you can imagine. It encourages women to treat men like gods and foster a weird form of emotional incest between fathers and daughters. It's so twisted and so far away from the message of Christ and His redeeming love that meets every man and woman exactly where they are, and offers them hope. This book is a form of extremism, and it embarrasses me that people will think this represents homeschooling and Christianity.
Go read something else, please.
Edit:
It's been about 10 years now since I first read this book, and several years since writing the above review. It seems very sweet and understanding in retrospect. Now that I am a married, adult woman living my own life, I see what utter and complete poison the message of this book is.
I had friends who followed the philosophy of this book, and I can tell you it has ruined lives and led to more abuse than you can imagine. It encourages women to treat men like gods and foster a weird form of emotional incest between fathers and daughters. It's so twisted and so far away from the message of Christ and His redeeming love that meets every man and woman exactly where they are, and offers them hope. This book is a form of extremism, and it embarrasses me that people will think this represents homeschooling and Christianity.
Go read something else, please.
December 20, 2018
(.5 stars)
If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of me headdesking into eternity. I'm trying to get back into book-blogging, so I re-read this and hated every moment of it.
They try to say that it's ok if you want to stay at home after highschool and be a mom after marriage, but they go at it in a wrong and, frankly, quite painful way.
Just go read Joyfully at Home: A Book for Young Ladies on Vision and Hope, it's so much better on many different levels.
If you want more details of why this is bad, see my blog post here: https://baileymarissa08.blogspot.com/...
If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of me headdesking into eternity. I'm trying to get back into book-blogging, so I re-read this and hated every moment of it.
They try to say that it's ok if you want to stay at home after highschool and be a mom after marriage, but they go at it in a wrong and, frankly, quite painful way.
Just go read Joyfully at Home: A Book for Young Ladies on Vision and Hope, it's so much better on many different levels.
If you want more details of why this is bad, see my blog post here: https://baileymarissa08.blogspot.com/...
February 17, 2017
I read this book about four or five years ago, and I almost got sucked into its culture. Because, let me just say, this book is a culture. The hermeneutics of the women who wrote it, under the influence of their father, who is under the influence of a much, much bigger system, are a thinly-veiled cultural imposition on the gospel's message and what it says about women. The reading of the controversial passages in the Bible is what one of my favorite theologians, Scot McKnight, would call "lazy." Because the authors don't really engage with what the passages are saying--they're not digging deep into the cultural, linguistic, idiomatic, and historic implications of the texts--and they're not really reading the text in a way that fits into the arch of the story of Scripture; a story that revolves around the character and person of Jesus Christ, who is one of the staunchest promoters of gender equality I know. And let me just drop the heavy F-word here: Jesus, as I read the text in all its nuances and as I study more and more the true meaning of feminism--Jesus is a feminist. And he made a feminist out of me.
But don't let that word deter you. Ignore it, if you will. Let me just point to other books that I think would yield a more faithful rendering of these hard biblical texts in regards to women:
The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight
Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey
A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans
Lost Women of the Bible by Carolyn Custis James
Half the Church also by Carolyn Custis James
How I Changed My Mind About Women In Leadership by Alan F. Johnson (General Editor) and various authors
And if you really want to adhere to the biblical texts WORD BY WORD, then I recommend you read
Texts of Terror by Phyllis Trible
and see if you still want to.
I get that God's relationship to each person is different and unique, but let us not deceive ourselves by misinterpreting the very scriptures we say God gave us.
End of rant.
But don't let that word deter you. Ignore it, if you will. Let me just point to other books that I think would yield a more faithful rendering of these hard biblical texts in regards to women:
The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight
Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey
A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans
Lost Women of the Bible by Carolyn Custis James
Half the Church also by Carolyn Custis James
How I Changed My Mind About Women In Leadership by Alan F. Johnson (General Editor) and various authors
And if you really want to adhere to the biblical texts WORD BY WORD, then I recommend you read
Texts of Terror by Phyllis Trible
and see if you still want to.
I get that God's relationship to each person is different and unique, but let us not deceive ourselves by misinterpreting the very scriptures we say God gave us.
End of rant.
January 23, 2015
I hate this book so much. basically a manual on how to lack backbone and submit to patriarchal ideology. It discourages women from having opinions that differ from their parents and encourages them to submit/admire abuse parental figures. this book is so messed up I used it as one of my main supports for how terrible the homeschool community is in a class paper.
July 21, 2019
As a conservative, Christian, homeschooled young woman, who has a healthy and close relationship with both parents and who is deeply thankful for their guidance and for their commitment to homeschooling and counter-cultural living, I absolutely can not recommend this book to anyone.
Over 20+ years of being involved with other Christian homeschoolers, I have had the opportunity to observe many families with daughters who have followed the Botkins' teaching. Many of these “stay-at-home daughters” have ended up extremely bitter and wounded, sometimes leaving Christianity entirely, with broken parent-child relationships, because the Botkins’ ideas are not sustainable long-term. They damage and distort father-daughter relationships into something meant to be for husbands and wives, while shaming critical thinking.
“Legalism” is a term which has been used all too often to describe people who are committed to following God in every part of their lives because of His inspiring love. When other reviewers say this book is full of legalism, they aren’t talking about that kind of legalism. They are referring to the kind of legalism which demands you don’t question the authors, and that you go above and beyond what God has commanded because that is how to be really Christian and holy. God doesn’t call us to go above and beyond what He has commanded. He calls us to follow Him.
Other reviews have gone into more depth regarding the erroneous teachings of So Much More. I would just like to conclude by pointing out that the Botkin family should never be given a free pass on this book’s content simply because Anna-Sofia and Elizabeth were young when they wrote it. If the sisters were truly under their father’s guidance to the extent which they preach, then he should have been able to realize how unbiblical and illogical their “because-I-said-so” reasoning is. I have heard, anecdotally, that the Botkins are actually very sweet people who feel that they should have worded some things in their book differently. This is no excuse either. This book is a part of a movement which lays an unbearable, ungodly yoke on people while smothering the God-given potential of young women and deceiving fathers into leading their families astray. I have seen so much pain caused by its legalism and deception, and nothing short of an explicit apology and retraction is appropriate in this case.
Matthew 18:6
Over 20+ years of being involved with other Christian homeschoolers, I have had the opportunity to observe many families with daughters who have followed the Botkins' teaching. Many of these “stay-at-home daughters” have ended up extremely bitter and wounded, sometimes leaving Christianity entirely, with broken parent-child relationships, because the Botkins’ ideas are not sustainable long-term. They damage and distort father-daughter relationships into something meant to be for husbands and wives, while shaming critical thinking.
“Legalism” is a term which has been used all too often to describe people who are committed to following God in every part of their lives because of His inspiring love. When other reviewers say this book is full of legalism, they aren’t talking about that kind of legalism. They are referring to the kind of legalism which demands you don’t question the authors, and that you go above and beyond what God has commanded because that is how to be really Christian and holy. God doesn’t call us to go above and beyond what He has commanded. He calls us to follow Him.
Other reviews have gone into more depth regarding the erroneous teachings of So Much More. I would just like to conclude by pointing out that the Botkin family should never be given a free pass on this book’s content simply because Anna-Sofia and Elizabeth were young when they wrote it. If the sisters were truly under their father’s guidance to the extent which they preach, then he should have been able to realize how unbiblical and illogical their “because-I-said-so” reasoning is. I have heard, anecdotally, that the Botkins are actually very sweet people who feel that they should have worded some things in their book differently. This is no excuse either. This book is a part of a movement which lays an unbearable, ungodly yoke on people while smothering the God-given potential of young women and deceiving fathers into leading their families astray. I have seen so much pain caused by its legalism and deception, and nothing short of an explicit apology and retraction is appropriate in this case.
Matthew 18:6
December 4, 2017
Written by two young women at the ages of fifteen and seventeen, this book is an eye-opening testimony to the impact of home-keeping and the real goals of feminism. With candor and wisdom the girls answer numerous questions that people have today. A large part of the book is about the importance of father-daughter relationships. Since my father is not on earth anymore, this seemed to be unrelated to me, but I found that many of the principles could also be applied to my mother or brothers. I had not realized all the horrible goals of feminism and their origins from Marxism. There are also encouraging testimonies from several young ladies who were former feminists or had failed to honor their parents in every way. The book ends with an interview the girls had with their father, giving wise advice to fathers and some to daughters. I agreed with the majority of the book, though it seems they overlooked some good Christian colleges when they talked about the dangers of college. I would agree, however, that most colleges, even many Christian ones, can be dangerous and unprofitable for young women. There were also a few other things I don't necessarily agree with (such as what was said about mission trips)--sometimes I think fuller explanations would have helped, and more ideas for people who don't have ideal situations. Overall, though, I enjoyed the book.
July 25, 2011
The Botkin sisters have quite a lot of wisdom to share. They promote a beautiful vision of a strong family united under proper leadership and expose a lot of ugly Marxist teaching that has become common.
Unfortunately, a girl's relationship with her dad seems to be overemphasized at the expense of her other relationships. Particularly the relationship between a girl and her mother. I do not think this was intentional, I think it was a reaction to the anti-dad attitudes and disrespect prevalent in our culture. That said, I believe this book displays a skewed view of reality and godly young adulthood.
Please don't let my review discourage you from reading this book. If you take it with a grain of salt where grains of salt are required, it could be very beneficial to you. Just be sure to bring your salt.
Unfortunately, a girl's relationship with her dad seems to be overemphasized at the expense of her other relationships. Particularly the relationship between a girl and her mother. I do not think this was intentional, I think it was a reaction to the anti-dad attitudes and disrespect prevalent in our culture. That said, I believe this book displays a skewed view of reality and godly young adulthood.
Please don't let my review discourage you from reading this book. If you take it with a grain of salt where grains of salt are required, it could be very beneficial to you. Just be sure to bring your salt.
October 5, 2007
A fairly decent book on the father-daughter relationship. I have problems with it, though. I was okay with the book, then, it started talking about women in the workplace. I mostly agree with what it was saying about that, but then it started saying that women should not go to college, because professors could criticize you for your faith. Personally, I think this is very good for the believer in Christ. It can really strengthen you to stand up for your faith. Another thing I had issues with was that they were saying that you should stay at home till you're married. I guess if you don't go to college, you don't have a reason to live anywhere, but, I don't know. I mean, I know women are the weaker vessel, but, this book I think kind of makes women...too weak. You know what I mean? We're not supposed to be worthless dumbbells...
January 16, 2009
One of THE BEST books for Christian females out there in my opinion! Want to know how to be so much more than just the average Christian gal? Read this book!
February 13, 2012
Let me explain my rating, because to some this may seem unfair. I'll admitt that this book had me up really late at night reading and mulling over some things and with prayer I have come to the conclusion that this book is one where you take some things to heart and leave others behind. It's not a one-size-fits-all solution to the worlds troubles. And I believe that some of the passages needed more clarification on what specifically they were saying, because sometimes I would find a Bible verse about surrendering and obeying Our Heavenly Father chopped down and inserted into an questionable context, where I believe that we were speaking of our earthly fathers. I think that should have been done with more care, because other verses could have been found that suited what the sisters were saying, either that or they could have used the whole verse so that the context of the original verse was clear. While there were some great things to take away, and it did make me re-examine how I live and make choices, I would say that a different book could be found to talk about femininity that was more clear on certain things and less my-way-or-the-highway on others. For example the sections on why women shouldn't pursue careers and go to college, were ones that I think are different for different people. I wouldn't say that all women should go to college and yes, for some staying home would be more benficial than being shoved off to college. But as I heard at a homeschool conference, "don't send your children to college unless you know that they are ready. And they are ready when they have a purpose, and are ready to be strong Christian soldiers for the Lord, defending and standing firm on their faith." I agree that soemtimes the college atmosphere is not ideal, and should even be avoided at times, but there are solutions such as cleping out and taking online courses from home.
Much of the book talked about how motherhood and so on and how staying home would best prepare one for that. Which is true. But I also believe that this book came fromt he homeschool frame of mind, and around where I live, which is right by the border of a state that requires a college degree to prove that you are capable of homeschooling your children. Now I don't agree with that law, far from it. But I do not think that it is wrong to be prepared if your family were to move to such a state. Which is one of the reasons that in my homeschool community we encourage young women to earn those degrees online.
About careers I believe that we live in a fallen world, and things are not the way they used to be. And again this book is not a one-size-fits-all solution. We live in the consequences of a fallen world, and while we would like things to be ideal, they aren't and for some who are alone in the world without family or others to support themselves, I believe that working is a much better solution as opposed to living on welfare. Which might be taking it too far, I know.
Overall I would say that this is an interesting book, but definitely be discerning and test everything. There are some great things that will test you in a wonderful way and help you in your journey to being what God calls you to be. I would recommend alot of prayer. But also don't be afraid to test and question. If you want my straight up opinion, I would say that a different book may be ideal or at least to read along with it. I would suggest Set Apart Feminity or Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy. Thanks for reading this somewhat muddled review :)
Much of the book talked about how motherhood and so on and how staying home would best prepare one for that. Which is true. But I also believe that this book came fromt he homeschool frame of mind, and around where I live, which is right by the border of a state that requires a college degree to prove that you are capable of homeschooling your children. Now I don't agree with that law, far from it. But I do not think that it is wrong to be prepared if your family were to move to such a state. Which is one of the reasons that in my homeschool community we encourage young women to earn those degrees online.
About careers I believe that we live in a fallen world, and things are not the way they used to be. And again this book is not a one-size-fits-all solution. We live in the consequences of a fallen world, and while we would like things to be ideal, they aren't and for some who are alone in the world without family or others to support themselves, I believe that working is a much better solution as opposed to living on welfare. Which might be taking it too far, I know.
Overall I would say that this is an interesting book, but definitely be discerning and test everything. There are some great things that will test you in a wonderful way and help you in your journey to being what God calls you to be. I would recommend alot of prayer. But also don't be afraid to test and question. If you want my straight up opinion, I would say that a different book may be ideal or at least to read along with it. I would suggest Set Apart Feminity or Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy. Thanks for reading this somewhat muddled review :)
March 22, 2011
Pessimist I have been, yet optimistic I still have yet to be, this book grabbed me by my heart-strings and gave a good long, amiable tug. So Much More speaks aloud what I believe we women whisper to ourselves. It seemed to me to be a feministic book from the title inward, but as I started to read a little, I realized it was the exact opposite. It was a return to what we were designed for, what we dream of, and how to deal with the curse that God has cast upon us as sinners. No wonder women thought it was oppression because of their sex, because of their feminity. Our culture really and truly is Marxist, if not more so culturally.
Since I was a child I was taught to be strong, to tug my end of the rope, and help make ends meet. But in a manly way I did these things, and I saw nothing wrong with that, but seeing how joyful many Christian women were made me feel jealous and wonder how they accepted their "tedious" and "ordinary" lives. Few of them pursued careers, and only some went to a big university. But all were philosophers in their own rights, and had formation, identity, and above all, a loving and mostly self-less heart.
Since I was a child I was taught to be strong, to tug my end of the rope, and help make ends meet. But in a manly way I did these things, and I saw nothing wrong with that, but seeing how joyful many Christian women were made me feel jealous and wonder how they accepted their "tedious" and "ordinary" lives. Few of them pursued careers, and only some went to a big university. But all were philosophers in their own rights, and had formation, identity, and above all, a loving and mostly self-less heart.
September 26, 2011
Very encouraging and thought-provoking. This book opens up a Biblical vision for what it means to be a Christian young woman embracing God's design for her femininity in today's feminist culture. There were a few things I didn't understand or necessarily agree with, but the overall message of the book was right on: challenging young women to live with vision and purpose in their God-ordained roles, embrace their femininity, to be strong in character and virtue, and to serve their families and whomever God brings into their life. Today, the role of women is widely misunderstood and this book is meant to change that.
May 22, 2010
So Much More was an incredible read. Not only was it extremely well-written by two young amazing ladies, I learnt a lot about feminism – what it's about, it's history, and what feminists are actually saying – about femininity and being a woman – what that looks like and what the Bible has to say about it – and about the family model; how I fit into it and the blessings that come out of a Bible-based family. Definitely five stars - it was amazing.
September 22, 2007
This is a must read for all young women!!
May 24, 2018
Back when I had a very narrow view of what God could possibly be like, and what He expected of me, this book seemed very good. Now, not so much.
June 15, 2008
This book was probably the best book I've ever read concerning young women. I'm new to this whole biblical girlhood, womanhood, femininity thing and this book answered every one of my question and then some. Furthermore, this book was very easy to read and had great footnotes and gave references to the bible.
The books has eighteen chapters two Appendixes and a acknowledgment.
At times I was a bit uncomfortable seeing how me and my father don't get along very well but the Botkin sisters made it very clear that that's okay, and that even if I don't have a Godly father I can strive to give my future (God-willing) children something that I never had.
One of the chapters talk about Christ's enemies, who they are (Karl Marx), and Marxism connection with feminism and how it hasn't helped women.
The books also tells the readers what is a real woman, and traits that we Christian women should strive to cultivate or get rid of. The chapter also talks about how a godly woman should dress and the standards of dress. (They never make it clear that women should wear only dresses just small hints. Which are quite obvious). What femininity is, what young women should be learning before marriage, why their against sending young women to college, they talk about the right career for women, and what we should try to learn in order to become good wives, and clear up a couple thing about the proverbs 31 woman.
The Botkin sisters have been accused of trying to take America back 200 and they have not just the good parts of american history and applying them to today. Which is good because as an African-American I don't think that I want to go back 200 years... If you know what I mean (slavery, Jim Crow etc.)
This book is more of a question and answer book than a novel and has several testimonies by women both young and old.
I would recommend this books for beginners of the faith. (specifically fathers and daughters)
The books has eighteen chapters two Appendixes and a acknowledgment.
At times I was a bit uncomfortable seeing how me and my father don't get along very well but the Botkin sisters made it very clear that that's okay, and that even if I don't have a Godly father I can strive to give my future (God-willing) children something that I never had.
One of the chapters talk about Christ's enemies, who they are (Karl Marx), and Marxism connection with feminism and how it hasn't helped women.
The books also tells the readers what is a real woman, and traits that we Christian women should strive to cultivate or get rid of. The chapter also talks about how a godly woman should dress and the standards of dress. (They never make it clear that women should wear only dresses just small hints. Which are quite obvious). What femininity is, what young women should be learning before marriage, why their against sending young women to college, they talk about the right career for women, and what we should try to learn in order to become good wives, and clear up a couple thing about the proverbs 31 woman.
The Botkin sisters have been accused of trying to take America back 200 and they have not just the good parts of american history and applying them to today. Which is good because as an African-American I don't think that I want to go back 200 years... If you know what I mean (slavery, Jim Crow etc.)
This book is more of a question and answer book than a novel and has several testimonies by women both young and old.
I would recommend this books for beginners of the faith. (specifically fathers and daughters)
August 11, 2008
Wow! This book is controversial! They directly assaulted Marxism, individualism, feminism and socialism in convincing fashion and come out, in my opinion the winner. Not only does it attack the above but it openly assaults the general Christian population and says they are way off also.
It sure challenged my beliefs in many things, and for the most part has actually changed how I view things. I find myself challenging things in society in my head now and asking questions. "Who said this is the way it is suppose to be?"
My husband and I have had a lot of conversations about this and we also watched the video that goes along with the book. This is a great book to study with your older children after you have read it. A great book for homeschooling families. I just can't get over it, so much to think about. So many things to ask questions about and challenge.
The only thing I didn't agree with was some of the theology in the book, especially relating to Adam and Eve. At the same time I actually agreed with a whole lot more in theology than I even thought that I would.
If you dare to read this book you'll either come out loving it or absolutely hating it. Many will rebel against the ideas presented, but it will sure make you think...
A life changer...
It sure challenged my beliefs in many things, and for the most part has actually changed how I view things. I find myself challenging things in society in my head now and asking questions. "Who said this is the way it is suppose to be?"
My husband and I have had a lot of conversations about this and we also watched the video that goes along with the book. This is a great book to study with your older children after you have read it. A great book for homeschooling families. I just can't get over it, so much to think about. So many things to ask questions about and challenge.
The only thing I didn't agree with was some of the theology in the book, especially relating to Adam and Eve. At the same time I actually agreed with a whole lot more in theology than I even thought that I would.
If you dare to read this book you'll either come out loving it or absolutely hating it. Many will rebel against the ideas presented, but it will sure make you think...
A life changer...
November 29, 2008
It has been a long time since I read a book that I enjoyed so much. So Much More is a book that every single woman needs to read. It brought to my attention so many areas in which my thinking had been influenced by lies related to a woman's role in general, but more specifically, a daughter's role. Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin have taken the simple truths of God's word related to His design for the family and written a piece that I hope will change the world, one woman at a time. They present the principles of God's word as they are: simple and true. If you're looking for a clear explanation of what in the world you're suppose to be doing as a single young woman, open this book and let it point you to God's word. It challenged me to throw out all of my preconceived ideas about God's purpose for me as a single woman and simply walk by faith. It challenged me to believe God's Word for what it is: the truth. This book is going on my favorites list.
August 11, 2009
I was planning to do an in-depth chapter-by-chapter review of this book, but I just don't have the time. I have, however, found two very good reviews that I'll share with you.
The first one is done as a chapter-by-chapter review (like I was hoping to do :)), and although she only has the first four chapters done, it's very thorough and I agree with her wholeheartedly. :) You can find it at:
http://trulymore.blogspot.com
The second is actually two reviews, but they're both done by the same lady. You can find them here, at :
http://charitygrace78.blogspot.com/20...
AND
http://charitygrace78.blogspot.com/20...
I hope these reviews will help you decide whether you want to read the book for yourself or not. Personally, I found I disagreed with the authors far more often than I agreed, and it's books like that I try to stay away from.
The first one is done as a chapter-by-chapter review (like I was hoping to do :)), and although she only has the first four chapters done, it's very thorough and I agree with her wholeheartedly. :) You can find it at:
http://trulymore.blogspot.com
The second is actually two reviews, but they're both done by the same lady. You can find them here, at :
http://charitygrace78.blogspot.com/20...
AND
http://charitygrace78.blogspot.com/20...
I hope these reviews will help you decide whether you want to read the book for yourself or not. Personally, I found I disagreed with the authors far more often than I agreed, and it's books like that I try to stay away from.
January 12, 2008
There was a lot that I agreed with in this book, and a fair amount that I did not agree with, too. I found it to be pretty thorough in discussing family issues and think it would be an excellent springboard for a conservative couple to read before marriage to help them discuss how they plan to raise their family. That was my opinion as a 20-something, rather than the teenagers it is geared for. :-)
June 10, 2012
LOVE.
Anybody that wants to change there life a little bit in a great way read this book.
p.s. make sure your heart is open.
Anybody that wants to change there life a little bit in a great way read this book.
p.s. make sure your heart is open.
January 15, 2016
Kinda good, kinda from a cult. Kinda nice-sweet-pure-Christian-authors, kinda oh-my-word-they're-old-maids-and-daddy's-girls.
Yep, definitely needed to re-rate this one.
Yep, definitely needed to re-rate this one.
March 3, 2025
So Much More purports to be more than the typical teenager “Christian survival guide” commonly found in the youth-group-saturated environment of American churches in the late 1990s and early 2000s. The authors, Anna-Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin, claimed to teach young girls how to wage war with the world and win by reframing the conversation away from culture mores, concentrating instead on dominion and Reconstructionist theology. In consequence, the book provided an alternative blueprint for the years after a girl’s high school graduation, effectively sparking the stay-at-home-daughter movement (SAHD for short). As years passed, children grew up, scandals mounted, and the book became a by-word among homeschool Christians, especially those who had suffered lasting harm from its teachings.
There is no definitive review on the teachings of this book. So Much More predates social media except for blogs, and most contemporary posts are non-critical. Those few that do engage in any sort of criticism consist of reactionary statements, not formal analysis. This is my attempt at a formal analysis from a Reformed Christian perspective – from within the camp and not without. The book itself follows a very simple outline. Chapter 2 lays out a theological framework upon which many chapters of prescriptive application are hung. To engage with the book’s content, the reader first needs to get a good grasp on the theological argument in chapter two before the prescriptive parts can be addressed.
Like the teenage survival guides the authors decry, So Much More begins in the same place – something is wrong with the world. Young women aren’t happy. Young women aren’t fulfilled. Young women don’t understand what it means to be a Christian and are suffering under anti-Christian worldviews, like feminism. Most contemporary Christian books written to Christian girls would use this as starting place to point girls back to Christ, but Anna-Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin have a different approach. To quote them:
We believe, after years of studying both God’s Word and modern times, that the forgotten principles of fatherly protection and daughterly honor are the missing dynamic girls need in leading fruitful, stable, happy lives which will give honor to God.
This is not a claim that can be supported from Scripture (something they obliquely admit in the opening paragraph of Chapter 3). To support their claim, they make a sideways leap of logic. If we are to honor God by loving our neighbors, then Christians must honor God by honoring those who represent Him to us. Because fathers are God’s representatives on earth to the family, then daughters can achieve fruitful, stable, happy lives if they honor (and obey) their fathers. Fathers are not only earthly reflections of God, but we cannot understand God’s nature as our “father” unless we understand the purpose of a father and how we (daughters) are supposed to relate to them. While the role of fatherhood provides an elegant metaphor for how God relates to creation, the authors have in mind a very specific focus of this idea where the human father becomes God the Father’s representative to his wife and children.
Our fathers are supposed to be dear, trusted confidantes and friends, but God has given them a charge to be much more than this. They are to be our knights in shining armor, our protectors, our guardians and are even supposed to represent God to us. This means that our dads have the tremendous responsibility of being accurate reflections of God’s authority, as well as providers of security and love that God created us, as women, to need.
Why this emphasis on fathers? A bit more on that in a moment. The authors then pivot to another argument: women are fundamentally created to need men. Incredibly, they make the claim that because all women have such an ingrained need for security and love from men that daughters need their fathers like wives need their husbands. The neglect and denial of this need, according to the authors, is why young women are so unfulfilled in their Christian walk. Women need men. This is a foundational idea to the authors’ worldview. Not only do women need men, but women were created to need men, and that need is a fundamental component to the fabric of reality. God designed this need in women because of the dominion mandate where by men and women jointly represent the image of God to all of creation. To quote the authors again:
We would not exist but for men; man was our source. We read in Genesis that God created man in His image, saw that it was not good for him to be alone, and so took a rib from him and fashioned it into a woman. Man was formed from dust, but woman had her origin and being from man and for man.
But man was incomplete without her. It is the two of them together that reflect the image and glory of God. It is only when woman is, in effect, restored to man’s side, that the two of them are fully complete. And it is because we were created from the rib of man that we have an innate, in-built desire to be restored to the side of man…. Until we can understand the relationship between mankind and womankind as God created them, and the way we can together reflect the image and glory of God, we can’t fully understand what it really means to be a woman or how we can best serve God as women.
Using the same sideways leap of logic they made earlier, the authors then take the structure of the marital relationship and overlay it upon the father/daughter relationship. The reasoning breakdown is as follows:
- God made woman for man because man could not bear God’s image in creation without her.
- Women are similarly made to need men in order to correctly bear God’s image in creation. Since single women lack a husband, the only way they can bear God’s image to creation is by having these needs met by their fathers.
- Women interested in serving God cannot do so without a foundational understanding of the dynamic between men and women because this dynamic is key to defining what a woman is.
They conclude their argument with this statement:
God is the one who created us and decided whom we will need. Women do need men, wives do need husbands, daughters do need fathers, in the same way that the Church needs Christ. To deny this is to blaspheme.
This serves as the thesis statement for the entire book. Here the inflated role of fathers as discussed earlier becomes terrifyingly clear – men as fathers are to their daughters what they are as husbands to their wives in some metaphysical sense, even though this comparison is found nowhere in Scripture. Contextually speaking, this comparison is made worse when once considers the authors’ earlier statement about fathers representing God the Father to wives and children. The only person who has the express right of representing God the Father in this sense is Christ Himself (Matthew 11:27, John 1:14, 18, 6:46, 8:19, 14:6-10, 1 Cor 8:6, Col. 1:15, 2:9). While I doubt that the authors actually intend to usurp the role of Christ with the role of the earthly father as a mediator, their teaching leads in this direction, especially given their analysis that young women are unfulfilled in their Christian walk not because they lack spiritual intimacy with Christ, but because they lack relational intimacy with their fathers.
You could almost stop here except that there are nearly twenty chapters of prescriptive application following this statement. The charge of blasphemy is especially interesting to note. This is not the same thing as the Apostle Paul’s warning that young women might blaspheme against God’s Word if they eschew discretion and chastity (and other translations besides the KJV render this as malign or dishonor). The emphasis here seems to be referring to the deliberate breaking of the 3rd commandment by reviling the name of God or the Holy Spirit, given the heavy emphasis on image bearing. At any rate, this serious charge is not repeated again in the book.
The authors must have been concerned that they came on a little too strong in Chapter 2 because they follow their blasphemy charge with the assurance that “of course, men and women are equal in God’s eyes.” Equality, of course, only applies to our accountability to God for our actions (though how that can be true when men and women aren’t equal in intrinsic value is not explained). The rest of the book consists of prescriptive application for unmarried women based on their worldview and include the following:
- What Biblical, fatherly protection and provision looks like
- Why fathers need their daughters to take dominion over the earth
- How does a godly daughter relate to her unblibcal father?
- How to avoid anything that would turn you against your father
- How to be worthy of your father’s protection
- Why being dependent gives you power
- Why higher education or a career is unnecessary for kingdom work
- How your family fits into God’s plan for taking dominion over the world
- How staying at home before marriage impacts family dynamics
- How to prepare for your eventual marraige
- How having a relationship with your father keeps you pure for marriage
- How your father should vet potential spouses
- How a godly daughter should be involved in ministry
- What a godly daughter is promised by God if she serves her father
None of this is made a litmus test for a profession of faith (insofar as the Gospel is actually addressed, which is seldom). But, these issues are made a matter of personal holiness and sanctification. If the authors’ further points could be boiled down to one simple formula, it would be this: because our worldview is true, your acceptance or denial of these applications is proportional to how compromised or fulfilled your Christian life will be. This is a claim heard again and again by utopia seekers in the American church. Fourteen women (no last names or other identification besides first names given) were interviewed as heroines of the faith, daughters who either left college, left dreams of college, or condemned their college experiences in favor of returning home to their parents before marriage.
A thorough examination of each chapter and subject is beyond the scope of this review, but here are some quotes which illustrate the Botkins’ heavily prescriptive formula.
“… every woman is, by nature, a man’s helper. You are a helper, no matter what your age or marital status. The choice before and every other young woman isn’t, ‘to help or not to help?’ It’s who to help. Can you imagine a man more deserving of your devotion and assistance, someone you love and trust more than your own father?” Chapter 4, page 42
“Before you can accuse your father of being unprotective, ask yourself: do you make it clear to him that you are a woman of virtue, worthy of his special protection? If your behavior was more gentle, feminine, respectful, and lovely, would he be more inclined to feel protective of you?” Chapter 5, page 55
“By simply being your father’s daughter, you are entitled to his protection. To be worthy of this protection, you must appreciate the reasons God has provided it for you, and then gratefully receive it from your dad.” Chapter 7, pages 74
“Never in Scripture are women given the responsibility to provide for their families. This is a job specifically given to men, to the extent that if they fail in this responsibility, they are worse than unbelievers.” Chapter 3, page 24
“This [dependency] is an unusual-sounding virtue these days. As strange as it may sound, to be able to “stand on your own and not need anyone else, are not biblical virtues. In fact, they are biblical vices.” Chapter 7, page 77
“Some argue that Ruth was a biblical example of a widow who got a job to support herself and her mother-in-law. Closer reading of the book of Ruth reveals a woman living off the charity of a benevolent man who understood God’s order.” Chapter 9, page 107
“… we can’t structure our lives around our gifts, but rather around our calling as women, as helpers in the Dominion Mandate (though this calling may well involve those gifts). We have to be willing to set them aside if duty calls.” Chapter 9, page 117
“Women holding seats of authority, whether it be in business, church, family, law, or politics, is one of the distinguishing marks of a society under God’s curse.” Chapter 9, page 121
“A college degree is important if one wants to impress a bureaucratic hiring agency, or if one wants to pretend some sort of academic or intellectual superiority over others who may not have a degree. But as proof of academic achievement, the modern college degree is a deception.” Chapter 10, page 134
“A mature young Christian friend of ours has recently graduated from a strongly anti-Christian college which she knew would try to indoctrinate her. She feels like she has won because she exited with a degree and what she thinks is an intact soul. What she doesn’t know is that the college is laughing at her, because it knows it is the real winner. It doesn’t mind her keeping her personal hobby religion because now it knows it won’t interfere with a Statist agenda.” Chapter 10, page 139
“The role of the Proverbs 31 wife and mother is not a role that can be ‘slipped into’ easily. In fact, to do it really well takes a lifetime of training. What are our priorities? Learning to survive can teach girls attitudes of independence, hardness, authoritativeness, cynicism. Can this be wise or godly if it damages our ability to become Proverbs 31 women?” Chapter 10, page 160
“How does a girl know if she has the gift of singleness? Well, the truth is that we don’t know.” Chapter 14, page 212
“Marriage is and always has been the norm, though there are the exceptional few who are given the gift of singleness. Marriage is central to the first part of the Dominion Mandate: to be fruitful and multiply. We do not mean to undervalue the gift of singleness to those young women who have been truly blessed with it, but we do want to emphasize that we young women should not “choose” to take a gift which has not been offered, and in so doing, miss out on a great blessing God has been preparing for us.” Chapter 14, 214
“One helpful restraint to keep our hearts from wanting to chase after relationships with young men is a strong, confiding relationship with our parents, and especially our fathers…. A father can meet many of his daughter’s natural desires for masculine love and companionship by giving his daughter the proper kinds of attention and affection. A daughter who has such a strong, loving relationship with her father will be far less likely to become entangled with young men. ” Chapter 15, page 218
“We are aware that this [women should not go on the mission field] may be one of the most radical points we make in this book. We are aware that many Christians have a great respect for women such as Amy Carmichael and Mary Slessor and use them as examples to prove that God does call women to the missions field on their own. We need to be very cautious in the way we treat real-life examples; careful that we don’t hold up real, fallible people as the infallible standard. We should give godly people honor for the worthy things they did and learn by their examples. But we should recognize that these godly women do not in fact feature in the Bible and their examples can’t be used as a scriptural precept.” Chapter 17, page 261-262
“The Church Militant – the worldwide body of believers which make up local churches – is the agency through which God advances Christ’s Kingdom, knitting together the gifts of men, women, children and families into powerful weapons wielded for His glory…. The church is the agency that carries the apostolic duties and responsibilities of exhortation, discipline, nurture. This is why the church must itself be missionary. Independent missionaries and modern missions organizations… do not actually strengthen or expand the Kingdom on God’s terms.” Chapter 17, page 265
“The future is bright, because young women all over the world are just starting to realize that they can have an influence for Good when they start changing their lives and choosing the less-walked path toward honor and protection. They are starting to change history just by looking for the simple commands of Scripture, to obey them verse by verse.” Chapter 18, page 286
“Like the Proverbs 31 woman, we can truly smile at the future because we have blessings in store for us. Those who fear and obey God are promised such things as wisdom, peace, happiness, full lives, straight paths, prosperity, favor and good repute in the sight of God and man…” Chapter 18, page 286
“The Bible tells us that God rewards righteousness not only with personal blessings, but also with blessings on a person’s church, family, government and entire nation.” Chapter 18, page 287
“We will now unveil womanhood’s final secret weapon in the battle for progressive dominion: motherhood. Our posterity. The legacy we will pass on to our children. Woman’s hope and future is fulfilled through motherhood, one of the greatest blessings God gives women.” Chapter 18, 288
“You have but one lifetime to spend in our Lord’s service. How you spend these years of your life will touch the course of history and change it forever. Fourteen young women, contributors to this work, rose above their inherently sinful feminist natures, through God’s grace, and became heroines of the faith. They did this by repenting, then putting their hands to the plow, and not looking back. Now is the time to take your stand. Are you ready to become a heroine of the faith?” Chapter 18, 298
The authors followed up this book with a now reviled documentary called Return of the Daughters. They were trotted out for conferences and book fairs and maintained a high-toned blog, but were largely inaccessible to the greater homeschool community. They remained single for many years and did not see their lives flourish the way they predicted in their book. Today, they maintain that they never set out to start a movement, and if their audience feels as though they were led astray by them, well tough. No one, even teachers has perfect theology. Imagine that.
If you’ve made it this far, I commend you. I encourage you not to give this book to any young Christian woman. It will be a noose around her neck. 1 star.
There is no definitive review on the teachings of this book. So Much More predates social media except for blogs, and most contemporary posts are non-critical. Those few that do engage in any sort of criticism consist of reactionary statements, not formal analysis. This is my attempt at a formal analysis from a Reformed Christian perspective – from within the camp and not without. The book itself follows a very simple outline. Chapter 2 lays out a theological framework upon which many chapters of prescriptive application are hung. To engage with the book’s content, the reader first needs to get a good grasp on the theological argument in chapter two before the prescriptive parts can be addressed.
Like the teenage survival guides the authors decry, So Much More begins in the same place – something is wrong with the world. Young women aren’t happy. Young women aren’t fulfilled. Young women don’t understand what it means to be a Christian and are suffering under anti-Christian worldviews, like feminism. Most contemporary Christian books written to Christian girls would use this as starting place to point girls back to Christ, but Anna-Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin have a different approach. To quote them:
We believe, after years of studying both God’s Word and modern times, that the forgotten principles of fatherly protection and daughterly honor are the missing dynamic girls need in leading fruitful, stable, happy lives which will give honor to God.
This is not a claim that can be supported from Scripture (something they obliquely admit in the opening paragraph of Chapter 3). To support their claim, they make a sideways leap of logic. If we are to honor God by loving our neighbors, then Christians must honor God by honoring those who represent Him to us. Because fathers are God’s representatives on earth to the family, then daughters can achieve fruitful, stable, happy lives if they honor (and obey) their fathers. Fathers are not only earthly reflections of God, but we cannot understand God’s nature as our “father” unless we understand the purpose of a father and how we (daughters) are supposed to relate to them. While the role of fatherhood provides an elegant metaphor for how God relates to creation, the authors have in mind a very specific focus of this idea where the human father becomes God the Father’s representative to his wife and children.
Our fathers are supposed to be dear, trusted confidantes and friends, but God has given them a charge to be much more than this. They are to be our knights in shining armor, our protectors, our guardians and are even supposed to represent God to us. This means that our dads have the tremendous responsibility of being accurate reflections of God’s authority, as well as providers of security and love that God created us, as women, to need.
Why this emphasis on fathers? A bit more on that in a moment. The authors then pivot to another argument: women are fundamentally created to need men. Incredibly, they make the claim that because all women have such an ingrained need for security and love from men that daughters need their fathers like wives need their husbands. The neglect and denial of this need, according to the authors, is why young women are so unfulfilled in their Christian walk. Women need men. This is a foundational idea to the authors’ worldview. Not only do women need men, but women were created to need men, and that need is a fundamental component to the fabric of reality. God designed this need in women because of the dominion mandate where by men and women jointly represent the image of God to all of creation. To quote the authors again:
We would not exist but for men; man was our source. We read in Genesis that God created man in His image, saw that it was not good for him to be alone, and so took a rib from him and fashioned it into a woman. Man was formed from dust, but woman had her origin and being from man and for man.
But man was incomplete without her. It is the two of them together that reflect the image and glory of God. It is only when woman is, in effect, restored to man’s side, that the two of them are fully complete. And it is because we were created from the rib of man that we have an innate, in-built desire to be restored to the side of man…. Until we can understand the relationship between mankind and womankind as God created them, and the way we can together reflect the image and glory of God, we can’t fully understand what it really means to be a woman or how we can best serve God as women.
Using the same sideways leap of logic they made earlier, the authors then take the structure of the marital relationship and overlay it upon the father/daughter relationship. The reasoning breakdown is as follows:
- God made woman for man because man could not bear God’s image in creation without her.
- Women are similarly made to need men in order to correctly bear God’s image in creation. Since single women lack a husband, the only way they can bear God’s image to creation is by having these needs met by their fathers.
- Women interested in serving God cannot do so without a foundational understanding of the dynamic between men and women because this dynamic is key to defining what a woman is.
They conclude their argument with this statement:
God is the one who created us and decided whom we will need. Women do need men, wives do need husbands, daughters do need fathers, in the same way that the Church needs Christ. To deny this is to blaspheme.
This serves as the thesis statement for the entire book. Here the inflated role of fathers as discussed earlier becomes terrifyingly clear – men as fathers are to their daughters what they are as husbands to their wives in some metaphysical sense, even though this comparison is found nowhere in Scripture. Contextually speaking, this comparison is made worse when once considers the authors’ earlier statement about fathers representing God the Father to wives and children. The only person who has the express right of representing God the Father in this sense is Christ Himself (Matthew 11:27, John 1:14, 18, 6:46, 8:19, 14:6-10, 1 Cor 8:6, Col. 1:15, 2:9). While I doubt that the authors actually intend to usurp the role of Christ with the role of the earthly father as a mediator, their teaching leads in this direction, especially given their analysis that young women are unfulfilled in their Christian walk not because they lack spiritual intimacy with Christ, but because they lack relational intimacy with their fathers.
You could almost stop here except that there are nearly twenty chapters of prescriptive application following this statement. The charge of blasphemy is especially interesting to note. This is not the same thing as the Apostle Paul’s warning that young women might blaspheme against God’s Word if they eschew discretion and chastity (and other translations besides the KJV render this as malign or dishonor). The emphasis here seems to be referring to the deliberate breaking of the 3rd commandment by reviling the name of God or the Holy Spirit, given the heavy emphasis on image bearing. At any rate, this serious charge is not repeated again in the book.
The authors must have been concerned that they came on a little too strong in Chapter 2 because they follow their blasphemy charge with the assurance that “of course, men and women are equal in God’s eyes.” Equality, of course, only applies to our accountability to God for our actions (though how that can be true when men and women aren’t equal in intrinsic value is not explained). The rest of the book consists of prescriptive application for unmarried women based on their worldview and include the following:
- What Biblical, fatherly protection and provision looks like
- Why fathers need their daughters to take dominion over the earth
- How does a godly daughter relate to her unblibcal father?
- How to avoid anything that would turn you against your father
- How to be worthy of your father’s protection
- Why being dependent gives you power
- Why higher education or a career is unnecessary for kingdom work
- How your family fits into God’s plan for taking dominion over the world
- How staying at home before marriage impacts family dynamics
- How to prepare for your eventual marraige
- How having a relationship with your father keeps you pure for marriage
- How your father should vet potential spouses
- How a godly daughter should be involved in ministry
- What a godly daughter is promised by God if she serves her father
None of this is made a litmus test for a profession of faith (insofar as the Gospel is actually addressed, which is seldom). But, these issues are made a matter of personal holiness and sanctification. If the authors’ further points could be boiled down to one simple formula, it would be this: because our worldview is true, your acceptance or denial of these applications is proportional to how compromised or fulfilled your Christian life will be. This is a claim heard again and again by utopia seekers in the American church. Fourteen women (no last names or other identification besides first names given) were interviewed as heroines of the faith, daughters who either left college, left dreams of college, or condemned their college experiences in favor of returning home to their parents before marriage.
A thorough examination of each chapter and subject is beyond the scope of this review, but here are some quotes which illustrate the Botkins’ heavily prescriptive formula.
“… every woman is, by nature, a man’s helper. You are a helper, no matter what your age or marital status. The choice before and every other young woman isn’t, ‘to help or not to help?’ It’s who to help. Can you imagine a man more deserving of your devotion and assistance, someone you love and trust more than your own father?” Chapter 4, page 42
“Before you can accuse your father of being unprotective, ask yourself: do you make it clear to him that you are a woman of virtue, worthy of his special protection? If your behavior was more gentle, feminine, respectful, and lovely, would he be more inclined to feel protective of you?” Chapter 5, page 55
“By simply being your father’s daughter, you are entitled to his protection. To be worthy of this protection, you must appreciate the reasons God has provided it for you, and then gratefully receive it from your dad.” Chapter 7, pages 74
“Never in Scripture are women given the responsibility to provide for their families. This is a job specifically given to men, to the extent that if they fail in this responsibility, they are worse than unbelievers.” Chapter 3, page 24
“This [dependency] is an unusual-sounding virtue these days. As strange as it may sound, to be able to “stand on your own and not need anyone else, are not biblical virtues. In fact, they are biblical vices.” Chapter 7, page 77
“Some argue that Ruth was a biblical example of a widow who got a job to support herself and her mother-in-law. Closer reading of the book of Ruth reveals a woman living off the charity of a benevolent man who understood God’s order.” Chapter 9, page 107
“… we can’t structure our lives around our gifts, but rather around our calling as women, as helpers in the Dominion Mandate (though this calling may well involve those gifts). We have to be willing to set them aside if duty calls.” Chapter 9, page 117
“Women holding seats of authority, whether it be in business, church, family, law, or politics, is one of the distinguishing marks of a society under God’s curse.” Chapter 9, page 121
“A college degree is important if one wants to impress a bureaucratic hiring agency, or if one wants to pretend some sort of academic or intellectual superiority over others who may not have a degree. But as proof of academic achievement, the modern college degree is a deception.” Chapter 10, page 134
“A mature young Christian friend of ours has recently graduated from a strongly anti-Christian college which she knew would try to indoctrinate her. She feels like she has won because she exited with a degree and what she thinks is an intact soul. What she doesn’t know is that the college is laughing at her, because it knows it is the real winner. It doesn’t mind her keeping her personal hobby religion because now it knows it won’t interfere with a Statist agenda.” Chapter 10, page 139
“The role of the Proverbs 31 wife and mother is not a role that can be ‘slipped into’ easily. In fact, to do it really well takes a lifetime of training. What are our priorities? Learning to survive can teach girls attitudes of independence, hardness, authoritativeness, cynicism. Can this be wise or godly if it damages our ability to become Proverbs 31 women?” Chapter 10, page 160
“How does a girl know if she has the gift of singleness? Well, the truth is that we don’t know.” Chapter 14, page 212
“Marriage is and always has been the norm, though there are the exceptional few who are given the gift of singleness. Marriage is central to the first part of the Dominion Mandate: to be fruitful and multiply. We do not mean to undervalue the gift of singleness to those young women who have been truly blessed with it, but we do want to emphasize that we young women should not “choose” to take a gift which has not been offered, and in so doing, miss out on a great blessing God has been preparing for us.” Chapter 14, 214
“One helpful restraint to keep our hearts from wanting to chase after relationships with young men is a strong, confiding relationship with our parents, and especially our fathers…. A father can meet many of his daughter’s natural desires for masculine love and companionship by giving his daughter the proper kinds of attention and affection. A daughter who has such a strong, loving relationship with her father will be far less likely to become entangled with young men. ” Chapter 15, page 218
“We are aware that this [women should not go on the mission field] may be one of the most radical points we make in this book. We are aware that many Christians have a great respect for women such as Amy Carmichael and Mary Slessor and use them as examples to prove that God does call women to the missions field on their own. We need to be very cautious in the way we treat real-life examples; careful that we don’t hold up real, fallible people as the infallible standard. We should give godly people honor for the worthy things they did and learn by their examples. But we should recognize that these godly women do not in fact feature in the Bible and their examples can’t be used as a scriptural precept.” Chapter 17, page 261-262
“The Church Militant – the worldwide body of believers which make up local churches – is the agency through which God advances Christ’s Kingdom, knitting together the gifts of men, women, children and families into powerful weapons wielded for His glory…. The church is the agency that carries the apostolic duties and responsibilities of exhortation, discipline, nurture. This is why the church must itself be missionary. Independent missionaries and modern missions organizations… do not actually strengthen or expand the Kingdom on God’s terms.” Chapter 17, page 265
“The future is bright, because young women all over the world are just starting to realize that they can have an influence for Good when they start changing their lives and choosing the less-walked path toward honor and protection. They are starting to change history just by looking for the simple commands of Scripture, to obey them verse by verse.” Chapter 18, page 286
“Like the Proverbs 31 woman, we can truly smile at the future because we have blessings in store for us. Those who fear and obey God are promised such things as wisdom, peace, happiness, full lives, straight paths, prosperity, favor and good repute in the sight of God and man…” Chapter 18, page 286
“The Bible tells us that God rewards righteousness not only with personal blessings, but also with blessings on a person’s church, family, government and entire nation.” Chapter 18, page 287
“We will now unveil womanhood’s final secret weapon in the battle for progressive dominion: motherhood. Our posterity. The legacy we will pass on to our children. Woman’s hope and future is fulfilled through motherhood, one of the greatest blessings God gives women.” Chapter 18, 288
“You have but one lifetime to spend in our Lord’s service. How you spend these years of your life will touch the course of history and change it forever. Fourteen young women, contributors to this work, rose above their inherently sinful feminist natures, through God’s grace, and became heroines of the faith. They did this by repenting, then putting their hands to the plow, and not looking back. Now is the time to take your stand. Are you ready to become a heroine of the faith?” Chapter 18, 298
The authors followed up this book with a now reviled documentary called Return of the Daughters. They were trotted out for conferences and book fairs and maintained a high-toned blog, but were largely inaccessible to the greater homeschool community. They remained single for many years and did not see their lives flourish the way they predicted in their book. Today, they maintain that they never set out to start a movement, and if their audience feels as though they were led astray by them, well tough. No one, even teachers has perfect theology. Imagine that.
If you’ve made it this far, I commend you. I encourage you not to give this book to any young Christian woman. It will be a noose around her neck. 1 star.
October 20, 2023
I read this years ago and while it made plenty of great points, (like many Christian books do) it was MAJORLY closed-minded & legalistic. The writers went as far as to say a female’s place was at home, so going to college or even working outside the home was unseemly. I simply cannot agree, so no thank you. :)
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