The Blow-Off

by Jim Knipfel

Monster Stalks NYC When a local drunk is mugged near the toxic Gowanus Canal by “a hulking, hairy beast who smells really bad,” Hank Kalabander thinks nothing of blaming the assault on the legendary Bigfoot. His sardonic crime blotter for The Hornet, a local Brooklyn rag, often gleefully recounts the tragedies that befall the borough’s dimmer residents. But when an upstart reporter from The Eagle, a tabloid paper, lifts his piece and implicates Bigfoot in two more attacks, the crimes become local news fodder and the hunt for the “Gowanus Beast” takes off. Pretty soon the G.B. is to blame for everything from murder and robberies to playground scuffles and a pie’s disappearance—and neighborhood watch patrols have taken to the streets. Alarmed by the populace’s response, Hank decides it’s his responsibility to disprove the existence of this menacing beast and, with the help of an old carny colleague, put an end to the growing hysteria. In The Blow-off, acclaimed writer Jim Knipfel has crafted an astoundingly funny send-up of our current times—an intoxicating blend of sharp cultural references, wildly comical scenes, discerning commentary, and unforgettable characters.

Genres: Fiction, Humor

316 pages, Paperback

First published July 12, 2011

Reviews

[Jessica · Rating 1 out of 5]

What happens when a spark of fear catches fire and engulfs an entire city in mass hysteria? That’s what Jim Knipfel explores in his eighth novel, The Blow-Off. Coincidentally timely, Knipfel explores the cause and effect of large-scale hysteria and the media sensationalism that helps prolong the panic and violence. While relevant and alluring in premise, the book suffers a sluggish plot and unsympathetic characters, making The Blow-Off a tedious read.

Curmudgeonly misanthropic Hank Kalabander writes a crime blotter for a small Brooklyn pennysaver newspaper. Though he’s never been able to hold down a job in the past, and his outlook on life makes George Carlin seem like an optimist, Hank holds an unexpected reverence for his job.

To Hank, the crime blotter was not simply a sadly neglected literary genre but a profoundly and uniquely American one as well. … If approached with the proper attitude, the crime blotter was a reflection of the entire culture at that particular moment in history. It said all that needed to be said about who we were and how we lived.

The attitude with which Hank approaches the blotter is one of cynicism and derision, the same perspective he has on society at large. His write-ups, impolite but witty, offer moments of dry humor in the book. For example, one of his entries pokes fun at a dim-witted would-be thief:

Spider-Man He Ain’t: Dieter Jeffries imagined he would be the cleverest burglar ever by (allegedly) crawling across the rooftops of the 8th St. brownstones in Park Slope last Monday afternoon and entering his intended victim’s home through the skylight. Unfortunately the 21-year-old Jeffries forgot to take one thing into consideration. When Andrew Braddock and his wife, Josephine, returned home that evening, they (allegedly) found Jeffries still unconscious on the kitchen floor, surrounded by the shattered glass of the skylight. Nothing, obviously, had been taken, and officers soon arrived on the scene. While in jail, Jeffries might want to consider a new diet.

One of his embellished entries, about a drunk who reports being mugged by a “hulking, hairy beast” who “smelled really bad,” gets more attention than Hank ever anticipates. With the unprovoked help of an ambitious blogger, the story makes its way to media outlets across New York. Before long, the residents of Brooklyn report sightings of Bigfoot throughout the city and begin turning on each other in an effort to find and kill the monster.

While it would be unfitting to compare fictional pandemonium over a falsified Bigfoot story with the real devastation occurring from the recent riots in London, it makes for an interesting time to read the book. Knipfel certainly exaggerates the ensuing chaos in The Blow-Off to make his point, but he adeptly captures the feeling of anarchy and disorder once a “groupthink” mentality takes over. As the panic rises, so does the lawlessness, and soon Brooklyn is all but burned down.

Knipfel, a former journalist himself, points a finger at the media for their part in intensifying the madness. As blogs and tabloids sensationalize the initial report, legitimate news sources hop on the bandwagon and propel the story into a nationwide buzz. Before long, cities across the country, even the world, begin reporting their own sightings of the menacing beast.

Despite the darkly funny and pertinent satire, The Blow-Off is weakened by slow plot movement and the offensive protagonist. Hank is more than politically incorrect: He’s outwardly racist and hateful. His vulgarity makes it impossible to draw sympathy, even when he’s the only voice of reason during the mass hysteria. In fact, none of the characters warrant much sympathy or support. Hank’s friend, carnival barker Rocky Roccoco, joins the hunt for the imaginary monster in an effort to bolster his declining sideshow business. The acerbic chatter between the old friends is mildly humorous, but does little to push the plot forward.

For a story with made-up monsters and riotous violence, the plot moves slowly and has little payoff. Society crumbles around Hank and the media circus stokes the fire, but that sense of tension and panic never makes its way to the reader. Hank limply tries to counter the madness and prove the nonexistence of Bigfoot, but spends more time complaining and dispensing insults. The captivating idea behind the story is buried beneath the lifeless characters.
A blow-off is a carnival ruse of drawing in unwitting patrons with promises of extraordinary sights—like the mermaid lady or two-headed dog—but ends in anticlimax. While likely not the author’s intention, The Blow-Off is a blow-off itself: a brilliant idea that ultimately ends in disappointment.

[zxvasdf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Blotter columnist Hank writes about a Bigfoot sighting in the derelict Gowanus Canal area, and this tiny entry in a relatively unknown and unappreciated pennyzine is the first spark in a conflagration of mass hysteria that overtakes New York City and, eventually, the entire country.

Soon Gowanus Beast sightings are spotted throughout the city and many minor and major acts of crime are attributed to the beast. What descends is Knipfel's apocalyptic vision of a city gone mad. The rules are discarded for the same kind of delirium that overtakes a war torn area. It is a vicious circle, the atrocities committed by humans are labeled as the work of the Gowanus Beast, which leads to people being frightened into committing atrocities. Witch hunts are done in the streets, each fatal false alarm a gleeful rally for yet another bloody hunt.

This is an unapologetic and sometimes heartless view of the human condition as only Knipfel could pull off. The protagonist is the offensive and misanthropic Hank Kalabander who is ironically the city's only voice of reason. His accomplice is Rocky, a foul mouthed carnival midget who is in search for the next new act for his show. Knipfel has no sympathy for all of his characters except, perhaps, Kalabander and Rocky, who he treats with a sort of affectionate disrespect. He confounds Hank with human unreason as many of his efforts to disprove the Beast goes counter-grain to escalate the situation. Fear doesn't reside in a handful of dust but within the minds of weak men who come together.

In carny terms "The Blow Off" is the portion immediately after the act. The rubes are let out and offered an opportunity, for an added fee(pocketed as extra profit by the proprietor of the act without sharing it with the front office) to view through a window something that might be disgusting, beautiful, enlightening, or a little bit of everything.

The Blow Off in this book is in reference to the enlightenment regarding the true origins of the Gowanus Beast attained by Hank in the next to last chapter. This is the reader's Blow Off. It ties together everything and is the punchline of Kalabander's quest for truth. He might as well have been tilting at windmills.

[Derek Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good to see Jim back in form--this is his best novel and best writing since his initial memoirs, "SlackJaw" and "Quitting the Nairobi Trio." Jim's got a kickass ear for speech and for the city (Brooklyn, specifically).

Less a mystery than a comment on the colossal stupidity of modern (especially urban) culture, it takes a ridiculously small event--someone claiming to be attacked by a hairy creature that smelled bad, and slowly inflates it to armageddon. It's a masterful piece of pacing throughout and, despite hyperbole, a little too close to truth for comfort.

[Smiley III · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once again, I laughed repeatedly, in public, risking embarrassment, reading this book. The end (like The Buzzing) takes a turn neither unanticipatable, considering the way things were going, nor predictable — if that makes any sense.

IOW: You're so sunk in it, by the time you turn those final corners ... really, what else did you expect?

Crazy how he pulls that shit off!

[Ale Volpe · Rating 2 out of 5]

Could have been much shorter. As it stands the funny, sometimes insightful parts are wasted in nonsensical plans with foreseable outcomes and insipid dialogs including puns about raped women and children (funny or not, I very much dislike the character uttering them).

[Patrick Tarbox · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was pretty funny. A decent twist or two in it, I don’t know if it was good but I finished it entertained and smiling and sometimes that is enough!

[Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.

I have been trying to finish this book for a month but absolutely nothing compels me to pick it up again after reading a third of it. From the very beginning I found the characters uninteresting and unnecessarily vulgar. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it seems my favorite word is the f-bomb, and cussing doesn't really affect me if it really adds to the story. But this isn't one of those times. The characters sound like teen boys. I don't really have to like the characters in a book to like the book as a whole, but these people don't feel natural.

That brings me to Hank, the main character. I'm really surprised this guy has a wife. He's so mean, a downer, and completely prejudiced. Again, that's just the way he is and I don't have to like it but it's annoying. Are people living in NYC really walking around, saying out loud, things like: "they're a superstitious people...They always overreact to these things" when referring to black people at a carnival show; or "Where's that fuckin' Chinaman?" when looking for a beer stand; or calling dark-skinned construction workers "Congolese"; or calling an Indian waitress "Injun", saying she must be "gabbing...about Vishnu" when his drink runs dry; or saying "Just wish it would scare a few Dominicans...so they could run back to Dominica to hide"?? Hank's not the only offender. A woman calls her own nanny "useless! Stupid black trash." The words "faggot" and "queer" appear a few times. And there's this scene:

"He stared at the woman seated at the table eight inches away from theirs, the one who'd been on her cell phone from the moment she walked in.
Hank turned to Annie, and without lowering his voice he said, 'You know I'm gonna kill her before the evening's over. Just beat her to death with my empty glass here.' He lifted the glass an inch for emphasis. The woman's two children, probably ten and eight years old, looked at him with a mix of fear and hope in their eyes.
'Yeah, your mother's an asshole,' Hank told them.
Annie finished her own drink and gestured to the waitress as she passed. 'This thing is really bothering you, isn't it?'
'What thing's that? This cow here?' He tipped his head toward the next table."

I'm sorry, maybe I let all this stuff get to me more than it should, but all this occurs within the first 120 pages and it completely turns me off from finishing this book. The back of the book claims "an intoxicating blend of sharp cultural references, wildly comical scenes, discerning commentary, and unforgettable characters." It's my opinion that this book is the exact opposite.

Oh, and I guess I should include a note on the plot. There isn't much of one; and while I found the book description interesting enough to enter the giveaway, based on what I've read so far, it isn't working. A few articles alluding to a sasquatch have NYC in hysterics? I don't think so. Will I ever finish this book? I really don't think I can subject myself to this anymore than I already have.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just finished reading this book last night, after receiving it about a week ago from a Goodreads first read giveaway. I was excited to dig right in on Knipfel's novel about the "alleged" Gowanus Beast's bizarre activity in New York City, the reaction of NYC's citizens, and how one journalist makes it a personal mission to prove the whole thing is a hoax. Fortunately, Knipfel did not disappoint. I found myself laughing out loud several times while reading, particularly at the dripping sarcasm Hank (the journalist) so often exhibits toward most people he encounters and in the crime blotter he writes. (To date, the only author that has ever been able to make me laugh out loud is Christopher Moore; the fact that Jim Knipfel managed it as well with similar humor makes me wonder if he could, someday, be in the literary ranks of Moore's genius.)

When Knipfel switches gears, though, and attempts to make the story more of a commentary on society, our downward spiral, and our leanings toward mass hysteria, the shift is rather clunky. There were hints that Knipfel was trying to lead up to something like this throughout the book, but then he'd seem to change his tactic and go in another direction. When he gets down to the last 20 pages or so, he finally commits to the idea he originally had of making a statement on society, and the book takes a strange and dramatic turn. No more humor (dark or otherwise) - just graphically violent images that Hank sees in the city, violent memories, and that's it. Not really any closure, either. We're left not knowing what happens to Hank, who we've spent the entire novel following and have grown fairly attached to. People have disappeared that were there the day before, but no explanation is given. Are they dead? Did they run away? It's this lack of closure and awkward shift that prevented me from awarding The Blow-Off 5 stars, because, while I REALLY enjoyed 3/4 of the book, I was disappointed in the last bit and felt Knipfel could have done a better job rounding it out.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

This would have made an awesome short story, but as a novel the story is a little beleaguered. The first third of the novel is a bit filler. It is really the last bit, once Dirty Dingus shows up that the story starts to fall into place. A pretty apt satire on the state of media right now - the stealing of content, the sensationalism, the penny saver snide police blotter. The novel really could have benefited from purging some of the "fag, retard," and other supposedly edgy "un-pc" curmudgeon stuff. It falls flat and made the prose seem a bit amateurish and strained.

Disappointing that there really ends up being NO BIGFOOT creature in the novel.



"To Hnk, the crime blotter was not simply a sadly neglected literary genre but a profoundly and uniquely American one as well. In every one-hundred-fiftey word entry, no matter how extravagant or seemingly irrelevant the crime in question, you had the makings of a miniature novel, with a clear narrative arc, heroes, villians, drama, conflict, and a resolution. Each entry was an encapsulated moment - a photograph - of physical or emotional violence in which someone's life was changed forever. If approached with the proper attitude, the crime blotter was a reflection of the entire culture at that particular moment in history. It said all that needed to be said about who we were and how we lived." page 39.

[Amandaj · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hank Kalabander is an asshole. He writes a crime blotter for a less than prestigious paper, and everyone he works with is an asshole. One day a young Ms. Stone, an asshole of a different variety, steals his story and puts New York City in a state of chaos.
Hank's original story of an ape like man turns into the "Gowanus Beast", a big-foot-like creature that becomes the criminal scapegoat for the city. Ms. Stone's story takes off, and most everyone is afraid of the so called beast that is terrorizing the city. Hank is pissed. His original story is blown out of proportion and there is almost nothing he can do about it except try to disprove the whole "Gowanus Beast" theory.
Pretty much everyone in this book seems to be some kind of asshole. Hank's carny friend, Rocky, isn't excluded from this category either. Somehow no one seems to be the same type of asshole. Each character is unique in their asshole-ish ways.
It is a humorous book. It is comical, but not quite hysterical, sometimes slightly annoying, but an over all highly entertaining read. I think I would have preferred to read this one out loud with someone for some reason or another. Or maybe listen to an audio book version.
I won this book from a good reads giveaway.

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book for free, from the goodreads first reads program.

I enjoyed the characters in this book. Their peculiar personalities made for some interesting reading. They seem to live in their own world, while interacting with the general population. Hank and his carny pal Rocky were fun characters. They seem to share a common past, although that is only briefly touched upon in the novel. I would like to read more of their backstory.

The plot, about how mass hysteria can grip a city, and the part the press plays in it, was believable, although I hope it never goes as badly in real life as it does in the book. I didn't quite understand the end of the novel. It appeared that Hank had some sort of new insight to the Gowanus Beast, but I wasn't sure what it was.

This book had a fast paced plot, and interesting characters. Hank's character may be offensive to some readers. He seems to insult everyone he comes in contact with, and many of his insults are based on racial stereotypes. Still, I enjoyed the way the chaos spins out of control as the myth of the Gowanus Beast grows.

[Bruce Silverstein · Rating 4 out of 5]

A local drunk is mugged on the streets of Brooklyn by a supposed "hulking, hairy beast," and all hell breaks loose in New York City. This very funny, noir-style tale tells the story of hack crime reporter Hank Kalabander, whose short item about an alleged "Gowanus Beast" in the local rag he works for creates a sensation. Once word gets out about the Beast, all of New York becomes obsessed with finding and killing the creature, and every crime and malady no matter how small is attributed to the mysterious monster. Filled with oddball and starnge characters, this book is a hoot to read, and those who love old-style detective stories and humorous books in general will enjoy it. I can't help thinking though that the author has a serious message somewhere in here, about how the modern day monsters we are all supposed to be afraid of (i.e.terrorists, muslims, etc.) are probably threats a little overblown, and how our modern sensationalized media does not help us to better understand the world.

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really, really, really hated this book. Can you tell from what I wrote for Library Journal:

Hank Kalabander is hard man to like. His speech is a fire hose of foul language, ethnic slurs, sexist comments, and words that would make GLAAD very unhappy. His track record with women isn't so great, and even he doesn't respect his job as a writer of the crime blotter for The Hornet, Brooklyn's finest shopper newspaper. However, when rumors of a "Gowanus Beast" (like Bigfoot, but local) induce mass hysteria in the borough (and then metropolitan New York), suddenly you feel for Hank as the only sane man left in the city. "Colorful" characters abound, with unlikely names such as Rocky Roccoco and Sherwood Nutskin.

Memoirist and novelist Knipfel's (Slackjaw; Noogie's Time To Shine) latest book is recommended for those readers with the darkest sense of humor and a high tolerance for carnie slang

http://www.libraryjournal.com/lj/home...

[Dorie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read. Entertaining book that doesn't take itself too seriously, and in its humor, has a lot to say about the state of the world (especially the news media). I found myself laughing out loud (in public) at some parts and nodding furiously in agreement at others.
It's absurd and self-aware and funny and smartly written, and the mystery element keeps the pages turning.
Especially good for a plane ride, a beach, or a day in the park.

Bonus note - Anyone residing in Brooklyn will love the geographic references. I'm a NYer, and whenever a movie or book takes place in NY, I tear it apart looking for geographic inaccuracies, especially when the author dares to get specific ("WRONG! He'd have made a left there, it's one way... and that train does NOT go out to the Rockaways, sorry!" Don't even get me started on The Taking of Pelham 123...). This author clearly knows his neighborhoods. That part was extremely satisfying for me. The reader will find him or herself saying "Yep, I know the corner, I've been to that deli..."

[Oriana · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was at the Strand last night and I was flipping through the "shiny new paperbacks" table, and suddenly it was later than I thought and they were closing and I had this in one hand, a memoir of a former skinhead in the other, and a small pile in front of me with essays by a Ukrainian musician, a new Open Letter paperback, and something else I already forgot. I was rushed! I couldn't properly decide which was most deserving of my seven paltry dollars! I hope I made the right choice...

***

Nope. I hated this stupid book. The plot was stupid and full of holes and completely not-believable, the characters were stupid and had stupid character traits (one character? talks only in questions? even when it's way more forced and stupid than in this example?). I seriously only finished it because I've been too busy to take the time to pick a better book to read. So clearly i'm stupid too.

[Blue · Rating 4 out of 5]

Knipfel tells a rollicking farce on New York, the media, and mass hysteria. It is impossible, I can venture to say, to read and not to hope that someone, anyone, will eventually get it right and focus on the real crime, that someone will call the media on the circus they have created, that at some point the journalists or the public will sober up. But, no. When the sanest group of people walking around in the Gowanus area consists of a circus midget, a bigoted penny-saver journalist, and a floor-manager-gone-alien-hunter, who can imagine what else can go wrong?
Blow-off is, on the surface, a humorous tale of monster-on-the-loose, but underneath an unsettling farce on the state of "free" press.

[Ross · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book for free as part of the Goodreads First Reads Program--which I didn't think anybody actually won--so I was kind of compelled to read it. It's a funny book and the best parts are the stories within the story when the narrator is writing for a crime blotter. I would read that guy's blotter in real life anyday. The plot is kind of hokey, but not more so than one expect in a book about carnies and Bigfoot hunters. I liked the way the author takes the setting from a very real, modern day NYC, and slowly transforms it into torch-carrying-mob town straight out of a Bella Lugosi movie.

[Bandit · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was suprisingly awesome for a book picked up on a whim at the library and also totally reaffirms my faith in picking/judging a book by its cover. Great cover. The book itself is a very clever and funny monster story, which is really a splendidly acute commentary on the mass hysteria, media madness and the phenomenal depths of human stupidity. Complete with terrific characters, good easy dialogue, fast pace, great ending and excellent writing all around this book was nearly impossible to put down. And for those who think the plot might be too far fetched, check out the Winsted Wild Man hoax from 1895. Highly recommended.

[L.D. · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Blow-Off was a sarcastic and dark look at the stupidity of the masses. It shows how one misinterpreted sighting can be blown out of proportion and start a domino effect into disaster. Basically humans are stupid when they start thinking as a group instead of critically assessing a situation for themselves.

It was an entertaining read but at points the main character, Hank, got on my nerves. But then, Hank seemed to get on most people's nerves.

All in all I quite enjoyed the book.

[H R Koelling · Rating 2 out of 5]

I almost gave this tepid noiresque Ghostbusterish novel one star, but the author's commentary on Albany, NY elevated it a notch: "Albany? ... But Albany's a s*it hole." That's about the only thing the author got right with this boring story.

The characters are absolutely unlikeable, but he definitely portrays well those rare breeds of crusty uncouth people who can still occasionally be found living on the fringes of NYC culture; throwbacks to the grittier and dirtier 60s and 70s eras when the city wasn't as clean and Disneyfied as it is now.

[Donna · Rating 1 out of 5]

From the description of this book on the Goodreads first read giveaway page, I thought this would be a fun, light summer read and was very happy when I won a copy. Unfortunately, I was wrong. The characters were unengaging and the story line took much too long to develop. I found the language to be offensive and painful for me, too many GDs in the first 52 pages to count.

Perhaps this is someone else's cup of tea, it certainly wasn't mine.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was slightly odd - I mean, I feel like author had a bigger THING about NYC he was trying to get across, but I am not sure what it was. They all fall into mob mentality too easily? They are all actually animals in disguise, and it doesn't take much to pull the veneer of humanity off?

Both?

It tried so hard to get this secret message apart that it took away from what could have been a rather off kilter and oddly enjoyable - if dark - story.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

I tried but just couldn't finish this book. The characters were too odd for my taste. However, after reading other people's reviews, obviously many found it entertaining.

Thank you to First Reads for this copy.

[Dale · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hank is awesome. He's outspoken, un-PC, and - well - an asshole. A great character. I agree with the others who've said the first 2/3 of the book are solid while the last 1/3 is really rather weak. I was disappointed with the finish. Still - it's worth a read.

[Erika Palmquist Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. I thought the dialog was stunted, the plot was strange, and the moral was heavy-handed and not pretty. Actually, I'm not sure what the moral was, except possibly "humans are stupidly gullible, will kill anyone if prompted, and will resort to caveman tactics if even slightly provoked."

[Sue · Rating 2 out of 5]

Okay, pretty unusual, starts off at a NYC street carnival. Some weird characters and probably not something I'd recommend. But it kept my interest, was an easy read and I've read worse @Stacey Butterfield!

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Look for this one in a few months; it's pulp-horror-comedy set in modern Brooklyn and it's excellent.

[Stacey · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm so sorry, book club, for picking this one. I have no idea why the reviewers found it so hilarious. I thought it was dark and weird and repetitive.

[Tristan Yi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Crazy.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I registered a book at BookCrossing.com!
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/11770129