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I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of a Girl
At the age of fifteen, Kelle Groom found that alcohol allowed her to connect with people and explore intimacy in ways she’d never been able to experience before. She began drinking before class, often blacked out at bars, and fell into destructive relationships. At nineteen, already an out-of-control alcoholic, she was pregnant. Accepting the heartbreaking fact that she was incapable of taking care of her son herself, she gave him up for adoption to her aunt and uncle. They named him Tommy and took him home with them to Massachusetts. When he was nine months old, the boy was diagnosed with leukemia—but Kelle’s parents, wanting the best for her, kept her mostly in the dark about his health. When Tommy died he was only fourteen months old. Having lost him irretrievably, Kelle went into an accelerating downward spiral of self-destruction. She emerged from this free fall only when her desire to stop drinking connected her with those who helped her to get sober.
In stirring, hypnotic prose, I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of a Girl explores the most painful aspects of Kelle’s addiction and loss with unflinching honesty and bold determination. Urgent and vital, exquisite and raw, her story is as much about maternal love as it is about survival, as much about acceptance as it is about forgiveness. Kelle’s longing for her son remains twenty-five years after his death. It is an ache intensified, as she lost him twice—first to adoption and then to cancer. In this inspiring portrait of redemption, Kelle charts the journey that led her to accept her addiction and grief and to learn how to live in the world.
Through her family’s history and the story of her son’s cancer, Kelle traces with clarity and breathtaking grace the forces that shape a life, a death, and a literary voice.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published May 23, 2011
26 people are currently reading
724 people want to read
About the author
Kelle Groom
16 books20 followersKelle Groom is a poet and memoirist. Her memoir, "I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of a Girl," is forthcoming from The Free Press, a division of Simon & Schuster in June 2011. She is the author of three poetry collections: "Five Kingdoms" (Anhinga Press, 2010); "Luckily" (Anhinga, 2006); and "Underwater City" (University Press of Florida, 2004). Her work has appeared in Best American Poetry 2010, The New Yorker, Ploughshares, and Poetry, among others, and has received special mention in the Pushcart Prize 2010 and Best American Non-Required Reading 2007 anthologies. She is the recipient of both a 2010 and a 2006 Florida Book Award and grant awards from the State of Florida, Division of Cultural Affairs, New Forms Florida, and the Barbara Deming Memorial Fund. Groom has been a Norma Millay Ellis Fellow at the Millay Colony for the Arts, a William Randolph Hearst Foundation Fellow at the American Antiquarian Society, a Tennessee Williams Scholar at the Sewanee Writers' Conference, and has been awarded residency fellowships from Atlantic Center for the Arts and Virginia Center for the Creative Arts. She has taught writing at the University of Central Florida and is a contributing editor for The Florida Review.
Kelle Groom website: http://www.KelleGroom.com
Kelle Groom facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/IWoretheOcean...
Kelle Groom website: http://www.KelleGroom.com
Kelle Groom facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/IWoretheOcean...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews
October 1, 2015
This book was a rambling, tense, tragic memoir of a poet, Kelle Groom. She dashes back and forth rapidly through several decades. At times, this format was difficult to follow. For me, this book was very depressing. Perhaps this rambling represents her bouts of alcoholism, loss, death, and abuse. It appears to be a very honest memoir.
January 26, 2016
First off, I was nearly scared off from reading this because of the low overall goodreads rating, but I'm so glad took a chance on it. In fact, the language—as the title is—is poetic and beautiful. While Groom is writing about gritty and difficult things, the beautiful writing softens it and keeps you moving forward. But what really propels this story along is the constant longing and hunger to grieve. Because she hadn't allowed herself to grieve, she feels unloved and unable to love others. The only thing she can love is the idea of her son who had been brought up (to a young age of 14 months) by her aunt and uncle and died of leukemia.
I sometimes feel like people don't like reading about others grieving because it makes them uncomfortable or just plain depressed, but the problem (or the beauty, you decide) is that we NEED to write about our grief. Our most difficult trials are what inspire us to create. I wept like a baby at the end of the book when Groom finally allowed herself to talk to her aunt and uncle, to say Tommy's name aloud, to get answers to all her unanswered questions about who her little boy was. When she let herself become a part of him and not just lurking on the outside as she always felt.
The events jump around, a lot, throughout the novel, which can feel a little jarring. But I liked how it mirrored her alcoholism, her drunkenness and her grief. I could see the story going forward despite the dizzying timeline. Oh, and I loved how it kept going back to the ocean theme time and again.
This beautifully written memoir isn't for everyone, though: a lot of language and sexually explicit material. While I think this is closer to a 4-star rating for me, I'm giving it 5 because I don't feel that the 3.22 goodreads average is fair.
A quote I loved:
"No one has ever held me so tightly. It's a shock to matter this much. It isn't like arms are around me, it's more like a house, as if he has made a house around me. As he did around Tommy."
I sometimes feel like people don't like reading about others grieving because it makes them uncomfortable or just plain depressed, but the problem (or the beauty, you decide) is that we NEED to write about our grief. Our most difficult trials are what inspire us to create. I wept like a baby at the end of the book when Groom finally allowed herself to talk to her aunt and uncle, to say Tommy's name aloud, to get answers to all her unanswered questions about who her little boy was. When she let herself become a part of him and not just lurking on the outside as she always felt.
The events jump around, a lot, throughout the novel, which can feel a little jarring. But I liked how it mirrored her alcoholism, her drunkenness and her grief. I could see the story going forward despite the dizzying timeline. Oh, and I loved how it kept going back to the ocean theme time and again.
This beautifully written memoir isn't for everyone, though: a lot of language and sexually explicit material. While I think this is closer to a 4-star rating for me, I'm giving it 5 because I don't feel that the 3.22 goodreads average is fair.
A quote I loved:
"No one has ever held me so tightly. It's a shock to matter this much. It isn't like arms are around me, it's more like a house, as if he has made a house around me. As he did around Tommy."
April 4, 2014
Where to begin? Perhaps with the title. It points not only to this memoir's dual settings of Florida and Massachusetts, but also to Groom's associative, imagistic, and lyrical style.
My thoughts:
In this memoir, style marries inextricably with substance. Groom brings us so close in to her psyche and to her thoughts, strung together from image to image, event to non-contiguous event, that we feel we almost are her, and intensely present within her for the unpredictable shift of emotions that we all experience from moment to moment, but often don't record so literally, so unfiltered. It's rare to find a narrator taking this risky and intimate stance, and it pays off here with an intensity of experience I've not encountered in a long time.
As I read, I was reminded of that unmoored feeling of adolescence, when you're experiencing moments - sometimes transcendent, but often dangerous too, as your judgment waxes and wanes, your risk-taking ebbs and flows - but you have few labels for what's happening in your head, and perhaps don't even need those labels. Image melts into image, moment into moment into memory and back. That's the feel of this gritty, emotionally challenging - even draining - yet luminous memoir from prize-winning poet Kelle Groom.
Who would benefit by or be a natural fit for this brand-new book? People who gravitate toward memoirs with intense emotional issues at their core, poets and writers, people who would enjoy visiting the settings of Florida beach towns and Massachusetts industrial towns (they're not the focus, but these settings do play an substantive role in Groom's explorations and development).
For a more detailed review, visit me at http://whatsheread.blogspot.com/2011/...
My thoughts:
In this memoir, style marries inextricably with substance. Groom brings us so close in to her psyche and to her thoughts, strung together from image to image, event to non-contiguous event, that we feel we almost are her, and intensely present within her for the unpredictable shift of emotions that we all experience from moment to moment, but often don't record so literally, so unfiltered. It's rare to find a narrator taking this risky and intimate stance, and it pays off here with an intensity of experience I've not encountered in a long time.
As I read, I was reminded of that unmoored feeling of adolescence, when you're experiencing moments - sometimes transcendent, but often dangerous too, as your judgment waxes and wanes, your risk-taking ebbs and flows - but you have few labels for what's happening in your head, and perhaps don't even need those labels. Image melts into image, moment into moment into memory and back. That's the feel of this gritty, emotionally challenging - even draining - yet luminous memoir from prize-winning poet Kelle Groom.
Who would benefit by or be a natural fit for this brand-new book? People who gravitate toward memoirs with intense emotional issues at their core, poets and writers, people who would enjoy visiting the settings of Florida beach towns and Massachusetts industrial towns (they're not the focus, but these settings do play an substantive role in Groom's explorations and development).
For a more detailed review, visit me at http://whatsheread.blogspot.com/2011/...
June 19, 2011
What a devastating and miraculous story that Kelle Groom recounts about her history as an alcoholic through short essays that reflect her poetic background. The book goes into detail about why she drank and how she needed to drink to feel that she was alive and connect with people. Other drugs didn't work for her the way alcohol did. She further spirals downward after she becomes pregnant at nineteen, gives the baby up for adoption to her aunt and then the child dies from leukemia. Through all of this mayhem, she still retains her voice to tell the story of her life. Her parents stick by her and try to get her help through out her ordeals with alcohol while remaining silent about their own issues and her father's ill health.
I did like this book even though it was a difficult read and I had to take breaks in between each chapter. You can imagine that the journals Groom wrote were somehow infused with the alcohol she drank at times. There is a bit of skipping around in the timeline which made it easier for me to read this one chapter at a time and digest it as I went along. I am so glad the Groom slowly comes to terms with what happened to her in her life and survived devastating things like her rape, the loss of her son and the sadness that really enveloped her life. There is redemption at the end!
I did like this book even though it was a difficult read and I had to take breaks in between each chapter. You can imagine that the journals Groom wrote were somehow infused with the alcohol she drank at times. There is a bit of skipping around in the timeline which made it easier for me to read this one chapter at a time and digest it as I went along. I am so glad the Groom slowly comes to terms with what happened to her in her life and survived devastating things like her rape, the loss of her son and the sadness that really enveloped her life. There is redemption at the end!
October 30, 2011
I really did want to like this. I picked it up due to the beautiful cover and captivating title--I read the first few chapters in-store and my interest was piqued.
However, I was just not into this. I read a couple of the reviews and one mentioned the choppy nature of the narrative. I think that was just my problem; it was very difficult for me to get a grasp on the space and time of any particular chapter. It was difficult to sort out what happened when. Perhaps this was the writer's intention, but I became frustrated with the book.
There is an interesting story about an interesting life in here, but, especially when coupled with the writing style, it wasn't one I could really relate to,
However, I was just not into this. I read a couple of the reviews and one mentioned the choppy nature of the narrative. I think that was just my problem; it was very difficult for me to get a grasp on the space and time of any particular chapter. It was difficult to sort out what happened when. Perhaps this was the writer's intention, but I became frustrated with the book.
There is an interesting story about an interesting life in here, but, especially when coupled with the writing style, it wasn't one I could really relate to,
June 27, 2023
I found this book back in 2014, when I was first discovered the memoir genre. First off, the cover art for this book is probably one of the most beautiful that I’ve ever seen. It’s what drew me to this book in the first place. Secondly, the synopsis. Her story is absolutely heartbreaking.
I struggled with the writing style. Other reviewers have mentioned the story being disjointed and I attribute that to Groom’s “stream of consciousness” writing style. I have always struggled with books that write from this perspective, but others may enjoy it.
The last few pages of the book were a turning point for me. Groom seemed to made a break through the fogginess of her trauma. She is able to put together a more clear picture of certain details and it was rewarding to see her through that process.
I hope that she received some solace in putting her thoughts and feelings on paper.
I struggled with the writing style. Other reviewers have mentioned the story being disjointed and I attribute that to Groom’s “stream of consciousness” writing style. I have always struggled with books that write from this perspective, but others may enjoy it.
The last few pages of the book were a turning point for me. Groom seemed to made a break through the fogginess of her trauma. She is able to put together a more clear picture of certain details and it was rewarding to see her through that process.
I hope that she received some solace in putting her thoughts and feelings on paper.
May 14, 2020
My dear friend Sue William Silverman recommended this book, a few years back, telling me how influential this memoir has been to her. I'd forgotten about it until she mentioned it again recently. This has to be one of the most stunning books about the struggle of living with a wound from the past and after twenty-five years, finding a way to heal. At nineteen-years old, Kelle Groom becomes pregnant by her ex-fiance. She has the baby, but gives it to her aunt and uncle to raise. Not only is she convinced they will be better parents and can offer him more, but she believes she have a predisposition to harm children. Her aunt and uncle named the baby Tommy. He dies of leukemia at just fourteen-months old. When Groom hears of this, she becomes unmoored, indulging in hard partying and self-destructive behaviors. She has black-out moments and becomes involves with abusive men. One night after being raped and injured, she realizes she must sober up or she will die. Thus begins a slow, painful recovery. This storyteller crafts an amazing story of loss, addiction, survival, and redemption.
June 26, 2022
Beautiful.
January 28, 2013
I was disappointed in Groom's book. As a person in recovery, I was looking for something well written that would give me hope and inspiration. In the preface, or some review, there was praise for the way the book moved about in time from chapter to chapter. I have read books that do this artfully; this book seemed to just need editing. I was confused by the abrupt changes rather than intrigued.
I also found the poetic license taken in the prose writing a little distracting.
There is a section where she discusses having stayed in a colleague's home while he was out of the country or the state. She states that he was angry when he returned because she hadn't taken good care of the place. This all happened well after she was through her big troubles, so I was disappointed to see that she was disrespectful to someone who let her stay in his home free. When we write a recovery book, we want to inspire people in recovery with how we've improved, so this section made me scratch my head. There was no discussion of why she did not take care of the place, as if it didn't matter.
I felt the book petered out at the end and devolved into an extended exercise in grief over a child - such that the book seemed to swerve from one theme, recovery from addiction, to another, recovery from grief over a child.
I just found the book fragmented and confusing, and anticlimactic. I wish I had better things to say about it. The title is quite interesting.
I also found the poetic license taken in the prose writing a little distracting.
There is a section where she discusses having stayed in a colleague's home while he was out of the country or the state. She states that he was angry when he returned because she hadn't taken good care of the place. This all happened well after she was through her big troubles, so I was disappointed to see that she was disrespectful to someone who let her stay in his home free. When we write a recovery book, we want to inspire people in recovery with how we've improved, so this section made me scratch my head. There was no discussion of why she did not take care of the place, as if it didn't matter.
I felt the book petered out at the end and devolved into an extended exercise in grief over a child - such that the book seemed to swerve from one theme, recovery from addiction, to another, recovery from grief over a child.
I just found the book fragmented and confusing, and anticlimactic. I wish I had better things to say about it. The title is quite interesting.
June 10, 2011
This book is a memoir. It was written by a poet, and it's easy to see that in the writing. This was not an easy read by any means. The narrative flows from point in time to point in time with regularity. The book tells the story of an alcoholic, through her treatment and relapse(s). However, most the narrative involves the son she gave up for adoption to her aunt and uncle. Her son dies very young of leukemia, and her desire to reconnect with this missing part of her self directs her actions throughout her life.
Honestly, I don't really feel qualified to review this book. I'm not even sure I got it. This book felt so dark through most of it, as if she could never chase away her demons. I almost want to talk to her now, and see if she has found any peace. Despite all this, I found myself in tears at the end, and not necessarily sad ones. It's not a clear cut happy ending, but I did find some comfort.
The writing is very stylized. Although I find the subject matter difficult to read, the world themselves were beautiful. It's easy to see the poet coming through. While this isn't going to be a fun read necessarily, I do think it is worth reading. There is some satisfaction at seeing her work past her alcoholism and learning more about her son. So while it's not a breezy read, I did enjoy it.
Galley provided by publisher for review.
Honestly, I don't really feel qualified to review this book. I'm not even sure I got it. This book felt so dark through most of it, as if she could never chase away her demons. I almost want to talk to her now, and see if she has found any peace. Despite all this, I found myself in tears at the end, and not necessarily sad ones. It's not a clear cut happy ending, but I did find some comfort.
The writing is very stylized. Although I find the subject matter difficult to read, the world themselves were beautiful. It's easy to see the poet coming through. While this isn't going to be a fun read necessarily, I do think it is worth reading. There is some satisfaction at seeing her work past her alcoholism and learning more about her son. So while it's not a breezy read, I did enjoy it.
Galley provided by publisher for review.
September 15, 2011
The first thing that will strike the reader is the honesty and openness of the author, a rare find in books. The reader will be thrown into a chaotic world where the main character is not in control of her life, constantly rolling with the punches (metaphorically speaking). The reader will barely have time to process one event when another takes place. This author really knows how to allow a reader to probe inside her mind. Following the main character's life from horrible to bad to semi-better to good is a very interesting process, even more so because this is a true story. The main character will soon feel like a friend to her readers, some will want to shake her at times and hug her in others. The events described in the novel are painfully detailed to the point of where the reader feels the embarrassment or shame that the main character is feeling; this author can really evoke feeling in her readers. Any novel that contains a life lesson may be thought of as cliche, however, this novel completely sidesteps this typical quality. The plot is unique, as it is a true story; the characters are real and the main character really grows on the reader. This novel is terrific for young adults and adults who appreciate true-to-life stories and are willing to mull through hard events.
June 30, 2011
An incredibly brave memoir. Touches on both the stigma of being a woman alcoholic as well as the troublesome issues women alcoholics must go though during their journey toward sobriety. Groom is an Alcoholics Anonymous advocate, but she writes about it in such a way that will not repel readers who do not share her feelings for AA.
Fans of Caroline Knapp's Drinking: A Love Story will enjoy this book.
Fans of Caroline Knapp's Drinking: A Love Story will enjoy this book.
August 9, 2011
I love memoirs and this memoir was written by a poet. I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of a Girl was not a simple read. The tale surges from different time frames with reliability. The book tells the story of an alcoholic, through her treatment and relapse. However, most the narrative involves the son she gave up for adoption who son dies very young from leukemia and how this affects her alcoholism. Although I found the subject matter hard to read, the words themselves were stunning. It's easy to see the poet coming through and it is definitely worth reading.
5 Stars
5 Stars
December 26, 2012
I've been familiar with Kelle's poetry from her first two collections and have always loved her work. When we were both active in Florida's writing community, I heard Kelle read a poem about her son, which was heartbreaking, so when I heard she was writing this memoir, I couldn't wait to read it.
This is possibly the best memoir I've ever read. Absolutely breathtaking and emotionally raw. A must-read.
I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of a Girl is one of those books that has probably changed the way I'll look at my life, and I think I'll be a better person for it.
This is possibly the best memoir I've ever read. Absolutely breathtaking and emotionally raw. A must-read.
I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of a Girl is one of those books that has probably changed the way I'll look at my life, and I think I'll be a better person for it.
August 3, 2017
i really had to push myself to finish this one. its written in a dreamy sort of poetic prose that is fun to write but irritating to read. i had no idea what was going on, and i guess thats intentional, but i really dislike not knowing whats going on.
there is very graphic talk of rape in the book and it kind of comes out of nowhere so if youve a survivor i suggest skipping this one altogether, as it was extremely upsetting.
i didnt like this much.
there is very graphic talk of rape in the book and it kind of comes out of nowhere so if youve a survivor i suggest skipping this one altogether, as it was extremely upsetting.
i didnt like this much.
April 17, 2012
hauntingly beautiful. Kelle Groom is a poet and it shows in this memoir. Her story is so riddled with heartbreak and the ending is... almost unbearable. But she writes with so much vulnerablity that it is impossible to finish this book without feeling an incredible amount of love for this woman who has put herself out there for all to see, even her darkness.
February 7, 2022
Type of read: Commuter Read.
What made me pick it up: Suggested as part of the Knox County Library Million Hour Reading Challenge - Anchors Away.
Overall rating: 'I Wore the Ocean' jumps right into Groom's story, instantly sweeping you into a tale of pregnancy, want, drugs, needs, and drinks. A poetic rambling of what it is to hate your human form but have no idea how to change it or keep it from reverting back to what is comfortable and known...even if that comfort is painful. It is a self-reflection on hard times and trying to become who you want to be.
Readers note: 'I Wore the Ocean' includes stories of self-harm, sexual conduct including sexual assault, and the binge use of substances including drugs and alcohol.
What made me pick it up: Suggested as part of the Knox County Library Million Hour Reading Challenge - Anchors Away.
Overall rating: 'I Wore the Ocean' jumps right into Groom's story, instantly sweeping you into a tale of pregnancy, want, drugs, needs, and drinks. A poetic rambling of what it is to hate your human form but have no idea how to change it or keep it from reverting back to what is comfortable and known...even if that comfort is painful. It is a self-reflection on hard times and trying to become who you want to be.
Readers note: 'I Wore the Ocean' includes stories of self-harm, sexual conduct including sexual assault, and the binge use of substances including drugs and alcohol.
October 30, 2019
Beautiful language and imagery...contrasting with extremely raw content (both emotional and physical). I had a hard time putting it down. The rambling nature, combined with the back and forth of different time frames, was very distracting though. The author was very capable of describing what she was feeling during her alcoholism; I think I might've been more satisfied with better description of recovery too - not much time spent on that aspect.
January 12, 2026
completely heartbreaking reading about her substance use and toxic relationships 😭🫣 but the latter two thirds of the book was hard for me to read because there were very few actually events that happened 😶🌫️🫡👾 I thought the writing was decent but not my favorite book 😌
January 18, 2019
If only poets wrote everything. This book took me so long to read for reasons personal and because the book has so many painful, beautiful, criss-crossing threads.
December 17, 2019
Cannot believe I requested the Ridgefield Library purchase this incredibly disappointing memoir
July 31, 2021
hard to follow along at times because of the poetic style of writing but definitely a good read. a powerful description of loss, addiction, and the road out of a dark place.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 17, 2024
Poetic
January 8, 2025
Autobiography of an alcoholic. Some tough reading but well written.
May 29, 2011
Anyone who has dealt with the battles of substance abuse will identify with Kelle Groom's journey for sobriety in her memoir, I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of A Girl (Free Press, 2011).
At the age fifteen, Groom found that alcohol allowed her to connect with people and explore intimacy in ways she’d never been able to experience before. She began drinking before class, often blacked out at bars, and fell into destructive relationships. Already an out-of-control alcoholic, she became pregnant at age nineteen. Unable to care for the child alone, her infant son, Tommy, was adopted by Groom's aunt and uncle.
Tommy was diagnosed with leukemia at nine months, and succumbed to his illness five months later. Having lost her son twice - first to adoption and then leukemia - Groom dropped into a downward spiral of self-destruction. Once she decided to get sober, she works to rise from the ashes by connecting with those who help her along the path to sobriety.
I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of A Girl is titled after a moment Groom was at a wedding at age four, describing the blue dress she'd worn as "I wore the ocean in the shape of a girl." Though the opening chapters of this book speak of chaos, as chapters proceed, we read more about the burdens Groom carried, and can almost feel those burdens falling from our shoulders just as they did hers.
I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of A Girl is not for light reading. There are many moments the reader will share during Groom's plight, and the majority of them brought tears to my eyes. It's a story of falling into the grips of addiction and then rising above it. Groom's words are honest, yet touching, and her amazing will to survive to tell her story is inspiring to others who are either facing their own descent into a personal hell or know loved ones who are also in the tight grip of substance abuse.
It's a breathtaking book which makes readers feel. There's no lecturing, just Groom telling her difficult story with simple words, yet with brutal honesty. I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of A Girl should be a recommended read in both inpatient and outpatient treatment facilities, as it is one of the best "firsthand story" books I've read on such an intense topic.
At the age fifteen, Groom found that alcohol allowed her to connect with people and explore intimacy in ways she’d never been able to experience before. She began drinking before class, often blacked out at bars, and fell into destructive relationships. Already an out-of-control alcoholic, she became pregnant at age nineteen. Unable to care for the child alone, her infant son, Tommy, was adopted by Groom's aunt and uncle.
Tommy was diagnosed with leukemia at nine months, and succumbed to his illness five months later. Having lost her son twice - first to adoption and then leukemia - Groom dropped into a downward spiral of self-destruction. Once she decided to get sober, she works to rise from the ashes by connecting with those who help her along the path to sobriety.
I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of A Girl is titled after a moment Groom was at a wedding at age four, describing the blue dress she'd worn as "I wore the ocean in the shape of a girl." Though the opening chapters of this book speak of chaos, as chapters proceed, we read more about the burdens Groom carried, and can almost feel those burdens falling from our shoulders just as they did hers.
I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of A Girl is not for light reading. There are many moments the reader will share during Groom's plight, and the majority of them brought tears to my eyes. It's a story of falling into the grips of addiction and then rising above it. Groom's words are honest, yet touching, and her amazing will to survive to tell her story is inspiring to others who are either facing their own descent into a personal hell or know loved ones who are also in the tight grip of substance abuse.
It's a breathtaking book which makes readers feel. There's no lecturing, just Groom telling her difficult story with simple words, yet with brutal honesty. I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of A Girl should be a recommended read in both inpatient and outpatient treatment facilities, as it is one of the best "firsthand story" books I've read on such an intense topic.
September 18, 2016
This book was not what I expected at all. One reviewer hit the nail on the head saying it reads more like poetry than prose. At times it was very difficult to follow, and it is certainly not an uplifting book, but the weight of the author's sadness is almost tangible- and what an honor for her to share that with us strangers.
Read
June 11, 2011Kelle Groom's memoir tells more than one story. It tells the story of her struggle with alcoholism that begins when she is in her early adolescence. It tells the story of giving away her child, and then losing him again, this time for good. And finally, it tells the story of a town and the past that might be making its people sick.
Kelle Groom is a poet and that fact is obvious in her prose. Her language is abstract and often strange, its poetics making this a different sort of read than the typical memoir. Each of Groom's chapters seeems to tell a full story, making the movement of the book more circular than forward. And yet I did feel propelled by it as I read, as each new retelling opened new windows into the aging and maturing Kelle.
I wasn't sure that I wanted to read Kelle Groom's memoir, honestly. I have a case of "memoir fatigue." I don't think that Groom has much to say that hasn't been said about addiction struggles, and I found her attempts to investigate the role of environmental factors in her son's death to be intriguing at first, but ultimately a disappointing side plot. In the end though, the book was a quick and relatively engaging read for me. What I did find unique and refreshing was Groom's voice. She resists (mostly) the impulse to universalize her experience, and keeps it in the realm of the poetic and personal. This is Groom's story and she doesn't claim that it is anything else. As I read, I felt that I was discovering Groom as she discovered herself. Although I still am wary of memoir at the moment, I would happily check out Groom's poetry. If you are not tired of memoir, this certainly has something to add to the genre even if what it adds isn't the story itself.
Kelle Groom is a poet and that fact is obvious in her prose. Her language is abstract and often strange, its poetics making this a different sort of read than the typical memoir. Each of Groom's chapters seeems to tell a full story, making the movement of the book more circular than forward. And yet I did feel propelled by it as I read, as each new retelling opened new windows into the aging and maturing Kelle.
I wasn't sure that I wanted to read Kelle Groom's memoir, honestly. I have a case of "memoir fatigue." I don't think that Groom has much to say that hasn't been said about addiction struggles, and I found her attempts to investigate the role of environmental factors in her son's death to be intriguing at first, but ultimately a disappointing side plot. In the end though, the book was a quick and relatively engaging read for me. What I did find unique and refreshing was Groom's voice. She resists (mostly) the impulse to universalize her experience, and keeps it in the realm of the poetic and personal. This is Groom's story and she doesn't claim that it is anything else. As I read, I felt that I was discovering Groom as she discovered herself. Although I still am wary of memoir at the moment, I would happily check out Groom's poetry. If you are not tired of memoir, this certainly has something to add to the genre even if what it adds isn't the story itself.
April 8, 2012
I really liked Kelle Groom's memoir, I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of a Girl , but I felt as though there were times in the second half of the memoir that it dragged. The memoir claims to be about Groom's battle with alcoholism since the age of fourteen, the birth (and adoption) of her son when she was 19, his death shortly after, and her years of battling alcoholism before getting sober. Yet, never in the memoir did Groom explain what led to her getting sober--she just was all of a sudden.
Instead, much of her memoir was about the pain she felt at not being able to talk about her son, Tommy, who was adopted by her aunt and uncle and died at 14 months old. I certainly understood her pain, but it felt like chapters went by without Groom saying anything new about it; it felt as though she was saying the same thing over and over.
And the second half of the book took a weird turn in that Groom began to worry about what had caused her son's leukemia. Convinced that it was the town's contaminated water or pollutants from a shoe factory nearby, Groom devotes most of the second half of this memoir to this weird crusade (27 years after her son's death). While I understand the search became a way for her to finally deal with her son's death, I nonetheless felt it was a bit of a waste, especially since ultimately it had no effect on his health.
The book was definitely worth the read, and Groom's prose is gorgeous; I simply wanted a bit more from her--organization, chronology, something. And I just never got it.
Instead, much of her memoir was about the pain she felt at not being able to talk about her son, Tommy, who was adopted by her aunt and uncle and died at 14 months old. I certainly understood her pain, but it felt like chapters went by without Groom saying anything new about it; it felt as though she was saying the same thing over and over.
And the second half of the book took a weird turn in that Groom began to worry about what had caused her son's leukemia. Convinced that it was the town's contaminated water or pollutants from a shoe factory nearby, Groom devotes most of the second half of this memoir to this weird crusade (27 years after her son's death). While I understand the search became a way for her to finally deal with her son's death, I nonetheless felt it was a bit of a waste, especially since ultimately it had no effect on his health.
The book was definitely worth the read, and Groom's prose is gorgeous; I simply wanted a bit more from her--organization, chronology, something. And I just never got it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 10, 2011
My heart broke for Kelle Groom throughout this entire book. Groom was only 19 when she got pregnant and not in the best situation. Her son is whisked away to be adopted by Groom's aunt and uncle. Kelle doesn't get to see him before he passes away from leukemia at less than 2 years old. How could that not be heartbreaking? Couple that loss with a debilitating addiction and you have a situation where many would fail but Groom rises. Her struggle to come to terms with the death of her son is painful to read and stirred my emotions thoroughly.
Every once in awhile, you find a book that has the amazing ability to move you in just a few sentences. This is one of those books. The story matter itself will definitely tug on you a little bit but it's worth fighting through the difficult parts to get to the pearls of some of her lines. Groom's writing is almost poetic in a way. She uses some really gorgeous metaphors and turns of phrase that almost make you feel as if you are floating through her journey.
The storyline of the book isn't necessarily in sequential order and I found that sort of difficult to keep up with. Even with that minor annoyance, this book is so worth it. This book is raw and real and will shake you up.
(This review was also posted at http://abookishaffair.blogspot.com/)
Every once in awhile, you find a book that has the amazing ability to move you in just a few sentences. This is one of those books. The story matter itself will definitely tug on you a little bit but it's worth fighting through the difficult parts to get to the pearls of some of her lines. Groom's writing is almost poetic in a way. She uses some really gorgeous metaphors and turns of phrase that almost make you feel as if you are floating through her journey.
The storyline of the book isn't necessarily in sequential order and I found that sort of difficult to keep up with. Even with that minor annoyance, this book is so worth it. This book is raw and real and will shake you up.
(This review was also posted at http://abookishaffair.blogspot.com/)
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