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Paperback
First published November 24, 2009
I soon came upon a cove. A beautiful, magnificent, dangerous cove."Cove n. A small coastal inlet, especially one having high cliffs protecting vessels from prevailing winds." Hm, ok. So, why is this cove dangerous? I don't know, because the thought just stops there. I guess I was supposed to get a sense of thrilling tension, but instead I just snort-laughed and thought "what??"
A kitchen maid to marry Lianne's brother? The way she said it inferred her brother's status well above an ordinary kitchen maid.IMPLIED. Also, I've read the second sentence half a dozen times and surely the "was" that is missing isn't actually optional?
Curious about her family, I asked a few more questions but received only monosyllabic replies.Well, we're on page 4 and it's our first meeting with this girl too, so maybe you could tell the reader what those questions and answers are? But no. I guess don't strain yourself, author, to actually tell the story to your readers.
Tall and lithe, her brother's handsome face turned to her, the lower part of his jaw straining to make sense of her blubbering words.I imagine he'd have more success if he used his ears and brain for attempting to comprehend speech, rather than his jaw. Jaws aren't known for their listening capabilities. Also, the subject of that sentence is the face, so as written it's the face that is tall and lithe, not the brother. So that's unusual.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she clung to the inside of her brother's brown tweed coat as though wanting to bury her face forever in its green satin folds.I am guessing the green refers to the inside of the coat that was just stated to be brown, but that's meeting the author more than halfway.
David, much older than his younger sister, in his late twenties I suspected, clasped her face in his hands and laughed.I mean... yeah, if he's older then obviously his sister is younger, but also, what does his age have to do with clasping his sister's face? It's so awkwardly shoehorned in. This sentence is about five down from the jaw-straining line above; he's so concerned about his sobbing sister that he is visibly tense, but before she explains what she's sobbing about, he's already laughing at her. What? He's the fourth character we meet in the first chapter, and none are consistent from one sentence to the next.
