The Happy Stepmother: Stay Sane, Empower Yourself, Thrive in Your New Family

by Rachelle Katz

You found the love of your life, and you vowed to have, to hold and to stepmother. You always thought that in time you'd grow to be the perfect, loving family. So why does it seem that the harder you try, the more unappreciated you feel?As a stepmother, therapist and founder of the popular Web site stepsforstepmothers.com, Dr. Rachelle Katz knows all too well how challenging stepmotherhood can be. Based on thousands of in-depth interviews and the latest research, she's created a powerful program to help Alleviate stress and take care of yourself* Bond with your new family* Set and enforce clear boundaries* Get the respect you deserve* Strengthen your relationship

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Family

269 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 21, 2010

Reviews

[Shelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book and a must read for any stepmother! I wish I had read it when I first started dating my boyfriend that is divorced with two children. I no longer feel 'alone' and feel a since if relief that 'it's not me!' This book is not a b*tch session, it gives real life advice, tools and resources. I did a quick read though and now am working though the sections I feel impact me the most. It really is helping me adjust from being a single women with little to no responsibilities to the life I'm living now. (I wish there was more advice on how to handle the crazy ex that is trying to rip us apart, but that's probability a whole other book! LOL!)

[Paige · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like most self-help books on the subject, not everything applied to my situation but there was enough in there to be beneficial and helpful. It is a very therapy/CBT heavy book, which works okay for me but if you're not into that kind of thing you probably won't care for this book. It was a quick and easy read. I enjoyed the anecdotal stories from stepmothers which made it relatable.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

There wasn't anything new or ground-breaking here that I haven't already seen in every other book about this topic.

[Jeni McLaughlin · Rating 1 out of 5]

I can't remember the last time that I didn't finish a book, but I had to stop reading this one. I had the impression that the author wanted me to accept that my family would never be whole, and that I would never be happy. I dreaded picking up this book every time I looked at it after about the first 20 pages, and I eventually decided to put it down for good after about 100 pages.
Not every situation is the worst-case scenario, but you sure wouldn't know it from this book. Being passive-aggressive in your decision-making and being non-communicative about the issues in your relationships is not the right way to go to make your family stronger and closer...

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is more about how to handle your own emotions and keep yourself mentally sane as opposed to practical advice on living in a stepfamily. Certainly useful advice! The most helpful chapter is the one on setting boundaries. I like that she lists series of questions to ask yourself and encourages you to think really hard about the expectations you want to set for yourself and your family members.

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good advice and guidance on understanding your role as a Stepmom in a blended family. I read this book over 3 years ago when I was first starting out on this adventure and just re-read. Still information and helpful.

[Erin]

I finished this at the revenue office, so I mostly zoned out at the end in anticipation of having my lucky number called there. Interesting but a lot didn’t apply to me. I would kick the butts of the spouses of many of these women!

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great resource for stepmoms!

Great resource for stepmoms. This book will positively guide you through mostly every situation or circumstance you may experience as a step mom. You will find the encouragement and tools to navigate your personal situation in the healthiest way.

[Kimberly]

Started reading this book to help with my new challenge of being a (for all intents & purposes) stepmother to Alyssa and Mikey (and maybe Johnny, someday, I hope). I found the preface and first two chapters to be very good, very informative and helpful. I could relate to some of what was discussed, and fortunately, some of the issues other women face I have not had to deal with (such as, their partners not being supportive of them). But I've had to deal with jealous ex-wife and parental alienation syndrome in *spades*, so those parts were helpful to read. Unfortunately, I don't have any renewals left at the library for this book, so I'll need to return it and check it out again later. I'd rather take my time reading it, though, and take notes, as suggested by the author, than to rush through reading it just t return it "read" to the library.

[Christine K · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this is a very good resource. out helped me feel like I'm not the only one dealing with these situations, it gives ideas and things to try to improve different scenarios but most importantly it is permissive, even at times encouraging it. Permission to step away and not have the guilt of responsibility and to take time for yourself despite what craziness may be going on at home. a happy stepmother makes a happy family :)

[Lois · Rating 1 out of 5]

I liked the beginning of the book and it definitely helped me identify my own wrong thought patterns and work towards making more realistic expectations. But then it became a very self-focused book. I just don't think that it is correct that we need to love ourselves FIRST or THE MOST. This is contrary to my core beliefs and I found it difficult to relate to the rest of the book.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

While not everything in here was applicable to my situation, it contained some very validating and relatable information, and most of all gave a sense of community and not being alone in your feelings. It's a complicated role that can sometimes feel lonely. This book is more about accepting the things you can't change than a formula for the ideal.

[Diane Drennan Pavia · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of this book didn't apply to me b/c I am lucky and am in a great step situation, but it did make me feel a little less crazy, alone, and selfish. Highly recommend for women in tough step situations who really need advice and coping skills.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

It has been awhile since I've read a step-parenting book, having been a step mother for 8 years now. It was full of sound advice, examples and feelings I related to, and it was reassuring, as always, to know that I am not alone in this journey!

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most of this book was general "take care of you and your heart" advice, but there were some good personal testimonies in it. The biggest take-away is the online community Katz started, for step-mothers to get some support from each other.

[Maxine (Booklover Catlady) · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the most helpful step mothering books I read

[E · Rating 3 out of 5]

very helpful and realistic.

[Gretchen Stokes · Rating 5 out of 5]

one of the best I have read so far; very hands on advice.

[Trish · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book very helpful on all different levels. I related to it and it offered lots of opportunities to journal and that is super helpful to me.