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Drama Kings: The Men Who Drive Strong Women Crazy
The bestselling author of The Erotic Silence of the American Wife is back with another provocative peek at women's secret lives.
Have you ever looked at one of your women friends and asked yourself, "She's so terrific--why is she with him ?" In her newest book, Dalma Heyn examines a rising trend in today's relationships--the coupling of high-achieving women with men Heyn terms "Drama Kings," weaker men who are drawn to the women's strength but ultimately attempt to sabotage it. These men create chaos in relationships, driving the women crazy in the process.
Weaving examples from history, literature, and popular culture with clinical research she has conducted over several decades, Heyn illuminates an exploding phenomenon that's just reaching public consciousness. She details the telling traits of Drama Kings, such as "The Visitor," "The Proprietor," and "The Hit-and-Run Lover." She arms readers with the warning signs and offers strategies to handle the sagas that inevitably will develop in these relationships.
Heyn ultimately delivers a hopeful and encouraging More and more women, instead of leaving these draining relationships in despair and misery, are taking their experiences with Drama Kings and turning them to their advantage, emerging even stronger and better equipped to enjoy richer lives––whether on their own or with the true love non-Drama King who is on the horizon.
Have you ever looked at one of your women friends and asked yourself, "She's so terrific--why is she with him ?" In her newest book, Dalma Heyn examines a rising trend in today's relationships--the coupling of high-achieving women with men Heyn terms "Drama Kings," weaker men who are drawn to the women's strength but ultimately attempt to sabotage it. These men create chaos in relationships, driving the women crazy in the process.
Weaving examples from history, literature, and popular culture with clinical research she has conducted over several decades, Heyn illuminates an exploding phenomenon that's just reaching public consciousness. She details the telling traits of Drama Kings, such as "The Visitor," "The Proprietor," and "The Hit-and-Run Lover." She arms readers with the warning signs and offers strategies to handle the sagas that inevitably will develop in these relationships.
Heyn ultimately delivers a hopeful and encouraging More and more women, instead of leaving these draining relationships in despair and misery, are taking their experiences with Drama Kings and turning them to their advantage, emerging even stronger and better equipped to enjoy richer lives––whether on their own or with the true love non-Drama King who is on the horizon.
- GenresPsychologyNonfiction
224 pages, Hardcover
First published November 5, 2005
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About the author
Dalma Heyn
12 books17 followersDalma Heyn is a New York Times bestselling author and psychotherapist who has worked for twenty-five years to help women develop the best possible intimate relationships, while still flourishing as individuals. Her books, which explore the loss of self that many women experience within marriage, have been lauded as revolutionary.
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
April 2, 2009
Very interesting and truthful.
July 11, 2011
Drama Kings: The Men Who Drive Strong Women Crazy by Dalma Heyn was written for me. Ms. Heyn, in 2006, looked into my soul and saw my past and future. Ok, maybe not entirely realistic, but this seems to define my dating life.
Ms. Heyn lists the four main types of Drama Kings: The Visitor, The Proprieter, The Easy Going Guy, and the Hit-and-Run Lover. I was able to identify each and every type of man, because it seems like I have dated each and every type of these men.
To sum up: The Visitor is a man who is emotionally distant except when he needs you, a man who is attracted to your strength but repelled by it at the same time; The Proprieter is a control freak who will go to extremes to cut you down and keep you in his grasp (some people call this emotionally abusive); The Easy Going Guy wants to be with you but can't quite initiate, yet when you show initiative to be with him he pulls back; and the Hit-and-Run Lover is full-force until he isn't anymore--and he just disappears.
This book was incredibly insightful and brought gasps of acceptance from me almost every time I turned the page. Ms. Heyn discusses why women stay (which is basically classical conditioning, which all psych grad students grasp the first day of class), and why women (those of us!) who are smart, strong, and so normally independent not only fall for these hooligans but also continue to go back for more. I am so appreciative to have read this book and to have made a note to run from these types that I am ever-so-familiar with.
Ms. Heyn is a writer who is clear, concise, and friendly in her writing--you often feel as though you are in conversation with the best therapist you have ever had. She never pulls out excuses for the horrid behavior of these four types of men--nor does she allow women to make excuses for their choosing to stay. She lies out the reasons and lets you as the reader determine your own destiny.
Most of all this book empowered me to make better decisions in my dating life. Ms. Heyn tells her readers that when women can finally break away from these types of men, they have the right to learn from them and to never go back again. I certainly have (or am at least trying!), and by having it spelled out for me in writing I can't use "lack of discovery" as an excuse anymore. I have seen the light!
Ms. Heyn lists the four main types of Drama Kings: The Visitor, The Proprieter, The Easy Going Guy, and the Hit-and-Run Lover. I was able to identify each and every type of man, because it seems like I have dated each and every type of these men.
To sum up: The Visitor is a man who is emotionally distant except when he needs you, a man who is attracted to your strength but repelled by it at the same time; The Proprieter is a control freak who will go to extremes to cut you down and keep you in his grasp (some people call this emotionally abusive); The Easy Going Guy wants to be with you but can't quite initiate, yet when you show initiative to be with him he pulls back; and the Hit-and-Run Lover is full-force until he isn't anymore--and he just disappears.
This book was incredibly insightful and brought gasps of acceptance from me almost every time I turned the page. Ms. Heyn discusses why women stay (which is basically classical conditioning, which all psych grad students grasp the first day of class), and why women (those of us!) who are smart, strong, and so normally independent not only fall for these hooligans but also continue to go back for more. I am so appreciative to have read this book and to have made a note to run from these types that I am ever-so-familiar with.
Ms. Heyn is a writer who is clear, concise, and friendly in her writing--you often feel as though you are in conversation with the best therapist you have ever had. She never pulls out excuses for the horrid behavior of these four types of men--nor does she allow women to make excuses for their choosing to stay. She lies out the reasons and lets you as the reader determine your own destiny.
Most of all this book empowered me to make better decisions in my dating life. Ms. Heyn tells her readers that when women can finally break away from these types of men, they have the right to learn from them and to never go back again. I certainly have (or am at least trying!), and by having it spelled out for me in writing I can't use "lack of discovery" as an excuse anymore. I have seen the light!
March 23, 2012
There was some insightful information in this book and I think any woman in a drama-filled relationship can be helped by the core information in this book. However, I felt like there was a lot of filler text - particularly with the personal stories. The first anecdote example for each type of drama king gave plenty of information about what that kind of guy is like. Additional anecdotal examples just wasted my time - they just repeated what the first example already told me.
I would also have liked more information about the men whose personalities span multiple drama king types. This would have been a better way to take up space and I would've found it more helpful overall since not every man fits neatly into one of Heyn's descriptive boxes.
I would also have liked more information about the men whose personalities span multiple drama king types. This would have been a better way to take up space and I would've found it more helpful overall since not every man fits neatly into one of Heyn's descriptive boxes.
July 23, 2009
It seems all the types seem to blend into one kind of man. Nearly every male I dated could be placed in one (or even more) categories. :) I did find it interesting that when the book was written 2/3's of divorces were initiated by women. It was also astounding that single women are far less depressed than married women, while single men are far more depressed than married men. (After reading this book, I think I shall read a book about a woman serial killer "Heartsick" which was featured on the last episode of HBO's True Blood. Thanks to the producers for reminding me that I owned it.lol)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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November 26, 2012This book put into words my feelings regarding my past relationships and the course my life is currently taking. It was affirming, smart and well thought out. It sits proudly on my shelf as a perpetual reminder of what I have learned and what I'm not willing to settle for. Thank you.
July 21, 2014
Interesting and informative. I enjoyed reading it.
June 1, 2011
Good book, great examples, fun to read!
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews