claire-obscure

by Billie Hinton

Lonely, unfulfilled, and envious of her best friend who has moved to Italy, Claire Caviness heads out to the same old club one night but takes a right turn out of her usual routine and meets Finn Weston, a mysterious and disturbed medical student who lures her into a folie a deux - a shared madness that forces Claire to look at the things she's tried desperately to leave behind. When Claire's friend Lucy is found dead and Finn is implicated in the murder, Raoul Duras, a Delta Force operator with a penchant for rescuing prostitutes, offers a way out of the madness. In a raw, edgy journey from trauma to restoration, Claire examines her deepest fears: grief for her distant mother and gay father, the awakening of her conflicted sexuality, and the darkness that pulls her to the intrigue and danger of two very different – and dangerous - men.

Genres: Fiction, Drama, Contemporary, Ebooks, Suspense

285 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 21, 2010

About the author

Billie Hinton lives on a small horse farm in North Carolina with her human family, two horses, a painted pony, two miniature donkeys, five fanciful felines, two Corgis (Pembroke and Cardigan), and a Golden Retriever girl learning to be a service dog.

She sees magic happen every single day.

Reviews

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished 'claire-obscure' and I'm utterly spent. I had to reads passages through my fingers because I was worried about what might happen. There were so many twists and turns near the end even within the space of just a few paragraphs. I was certain something was about to happen or that a certain character was going to say something and then in a quick jerk I was pulled to something that a paragraph earlier I was sure wouldn't occur or be said or felt by the characters. I found myself saying, "NOHHH!" out loud and then breathing a sigh of relief when the "NOHHH! passed, or closing my eyes or breathing deeply with relief. Then back to, "how can this be happening? It is. I don't want it to." "How can she say that? Please mean it, but I'm not sure she does." When will this twisty twirling ride end? It hasn't even now that I've read everything. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. And the writing, the language, the words - Oh, oh, oh! I feel like I was right there watching everything happen but no one could see me. Beautiful. Dark. Stark. Murky. Languid. Luxurious. Fast. Ferocious. Terrifying. Dreamy good dreamy. Stark white. Gray. Black. Refracted prism colors everywhere. Back and forth and back and forth this way throughout the book.

I don't know if such an extraordinary work should or can be rated. This book does not belong in and defies that system, but as it's all we have, I give it five bursting at the seams stars.

I will return to try to write a review of my experience. I can't even say a review of this book. I have never read anything like Billie Hinton's writing before, period.

This is a quartet of books. Part of me wants to download the next quarter of the quartet so I can read it immediately. Another part of me says, "Rest. Let everything seep in and find it's place inside you before you make any choices. I can't imagine starting a new book today or tomorrow. So I will sit with what I've experienced, learned, and taken in, for as long as I need. I will however download the next quarter in the quartet right now. I want to know that I have it with me.

You want to read this book. I know you can't know why this book is so incredible if you haven't read it. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I started reading. I'm so grateful to the author, Billie Hinton, for writing "claire-obscure.' If she were here right now I would be at a loss for words save, "thank you."
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Updates below are from date I began reading and date I finished.

05/31 So good. Utterly transported & all my senses are alive to bursting. I'm savoring every word. I'm mesmerized but I'm rationing how much I read at a given time because I never want what I'm thinking and feeling to end. I also want to eat up every word as quickly as possible and devour the entire book in one sitting. I've never read anything like 'claire-obscure' - oh, it's so...read it, read it, read it."

06/01
Page 80.
What an incredible work. I don't know how I could ever explain it to anyone or do it justice in a review. I've never read anything like 'claire-obscure' - The synopses on goodreads and elsewhere do not describe the 'claire-obscure' I'm reading. I think whoever wrote them either didn't understand 'claire' or were uncomfortable. afraid, or unable to describe the truth of it. I think the descriptions are somewhat misleading and they definitely barely scratch the surface of what this work is."

06/01 - Potential readers who choose to read 'claire' will read a book that is so far removed from what the blurbs say about it. The book they describe is so different from what my experience & understanding of what I'm feeling and thinking as I read. On the other hand, readers will be in for an incredible and glorious surprise as they as they take in each word and continue rounding each corner of every page they turn. What an experience! What an experience! I see myself at certain points in the character, Claire. I see parts of myself at different points in my life. I wonder how many women would feel the same way? I say, "many", but I wonder whether they or I could share that whole truth with others?"

06/01 "How will I find the words to share without laying myself totally open and bare? This is extraordinary. Extraordinary. Wow, Billie Hinton! Wow!"
06/01
"Page 145.
I'm a readin' fool who's lovin' life. Oh yeah, baby! Thank you, 'claire-obscure', and many thanks to your author, Billie Hinton.

06/02 "omg - I knew this was only a matter of time, something would happen in some way, but I'm crushed and crying and had to stop reading. That's how well developed and attached I've become to these characters. That's how incredible the writing of dialogue, voice, and plot are - unbelievable. Crying. I haven't had a book touch me and throw me around with so many thoughts and feelings like this in I don't know how long."
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[Rachel Cotterill · Rating 5 out of 5]

First, a warning: this is not a book for the faint of heart. It starts with rape that's described bluntly, though not graphically, and follows through the consequences in Claire's life.

I don't even know how to categorise this book; it's like nothing else I've ever read. It has a classic "chick lit" romance premise (one girl, two boys, a difficulty in choosing) but has nothing else in common with that genre. This may be the darkest book I've ever read, yet there's not a single scene that feels like it's been added gratuitously for 'shock' value. It feels sort of like a thriller - but although there is a dead body in suspicious circumstances, the suspense really comes from somewhere else. Whatever anyone else may do to Claire, it's arguable that what she does to herself is the most terrifying. In a way, it's a story of mental illness, though never quite named as such.

What I can say is that I read this in two sittings, staying up well after midnight because I couldn't put it down. The whole thing was just thoroughly compelling. The writing flows smoothly, in gripping present-tense narrative, and the story progresses quickly. It's not a "light" read, though - I stormed through it quickly, but it continues to challenge me after I've put the book down.

[Kathleen Valentine · Rating 5 out of 5]

claire-obscure is both horrifying and mesmerizing and not for the feint of heart. It is the story of Claire, a lost young woman, who grew up in a bleak family situation, the only child of a cold, bitter mother and a father who was coming to the acceptance of his homosexuality. At 17 Claire is brutally raped and from that point on she lacks any sense of boundaries or self-regard. She is intelligent and lovely but utterly and completely lost. She dresses in vintage clothing from consignment shops, writes secret letters to Virginia Woolfe, and works for a predatory bisexual woman named Ann whose husband manages to disappear at the most inconvenient times.

Billie Hinton has an extraordinary gift for language. Her writing is both mellifluous and harsh. She writes the story of Claire's conflicted relationship with two men, equally strange and remote in their own unique ways, with mesmerizing detail and a sort of come-hither sensuality that beckons you in then leaves you standing at the closed door wondering what just happened. It is intoxicating because I found myself getting annoyed at Claire and her constantly self-destructive behavior but yet so intrigued I couldn't stop reading.

The two men who soon find their way into Claire's life are equally hypnotic. Finn Weston is an affluent medical student who invites her to live with him in a huge apartment but she soon discovers that, while she is attracted to him and he is intensely possessive and controlling of her, he is incapable of a sexual relationship with her, though he seems quite able to function with other women. Claire's jealousy notwithstanding Finn becomes intimate with Lucy who winds up mysteriously dead - though nothing can be proven to the contrary, all of Claire's friends suspect Finn.

Her other lover, Raoul Duras, is part of a Special Forces Delta team and spends his free time rescuing prostitutes and other lost women. Claire becomes his new fascination but, even though he grows to love her and longs for her to live with him, she cannot bear his long absences when he is on assignment and so she returns to Finn. With Finn she begins a descent into degradation with other men, emotional and eventually physical violence, and other humiliations but she is held hostage by his claims to need her, to be helpless without her. The story becomes painful at times as Claire goes back and forth, back and forth, back and forth between these two men.

This is a well-crafted, deeply penetrating study of three people all with their own separate wounds. I was somewhat struck by the fact that Raoul, the eventual hero of the story, had the last name Duras because the haunting style of story-telling Hinton employs was reminiscent to me of some of the stories of French writer Marguerite Duras, particularly The Ravishing of Lol Stein.

This is a very seductive book - not always easy to read but even harder to turn away from.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book for the complexity of its' characters. This book reminds me of another book I read called Sherry and Narcotics, in which the main character had a naivety to her that you know isn't going to bode well for her on sooo many levels. This book had me on the edge of my seat and was even darker than what I had expected. Final GR Rating 4.5/5 Stars

BTW...here is my Amazon review: This book and author were recommended to me and I am so happy she was. This book was fantastic. If you read this book superfically, it almost comes off almost as a light read. Read deeper, you see the darkness and destruction from Claire's naivety. This book gave me chills and a pit in the bottom of my stomach at the same time. Loved this book!! This was a book I had to force myself to a certain number of pages to read per day to keep up with the other books I was reading and let me tell the reader of this review, it was incredibly difficult, esp as Claire was obliviously getting deeper and deeper in.

[Saphrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is more some thoughts on the book rather than a review.

I've rated the book three and half stars, although unfortunately I can't add half a star here on goodreads. I really, really want to give it four. (After dwelling on it some more, I decided to give it four stars.) The fact that I've just blown off four odd hours in the middle of the day and the gamut of feelings was incredible in the first half of the book. (Although, I do read other books in the same fashion.)

I've been reading a lot of romance of late, not my usual forte (as I keep saying), but it's been convenient. Lately I've been thinking a lot about reviews because usually I don't like to write them. I feel inadequate since my thoughts are emotionally biased and driven, but on the flipside I think that a review perhaps is the least we can do for an author and lately for the amount of indie authors. That all being said, this isn't quite a romance.

Firstly I'll admit that the title didn't grab me, and I do wish the artwork on the cover was a little better or a little more inline with the book.

This book is an ethereal stream running out to meet the ocean. It's poignant and beautiful as well as being painful and dark. Billie Hinton writes beautifully, let that be noted.

It's interesting that the way in which Claire's teenage rape is written is without full impact (on the reader). The Claire I read has withdrawn into herself and it's not until later on that I felt it hit me just how much impact it and other events in her life have and on her behaviour and decisions.

I think the first half of the book was great, I'm not sure if I was comfortable with all the places it took me, but the discomfort was effective (I'm still feeling it now).

I wish there was more connection with Finn, the ending left me with feeling that Finn's character whispered away on the wind, some sort of enigma in black turmoil. (Yes the relationship was incredibly unhealthy and enabling.) I'm torn between the effectiveness of the ambiguity and the unanswered actions in the book. The contrast between Finn and Raoul was beautifully written. I felt that Finn has was hard in his softness and as Raoul was soft in his hardness.

Some of the book dragged a little, but I was glad I perservered it. What stood out to me most was Claire's inability to say no and in some respects protect herself and the others around her. It's like she is able to give of herself in the moment, but she is unable to do so outside of that. Her waxing and waning connections with people all seem to stem back to what has happened to her.

One of the parts I felt was saddest was Claire's relationship with her father, who loves her and is trying to connect with her. It's so sad that she admits she leans towards her mother who is distant and disinterested. I feel as though she punishes her father with this distrust, as though her conception was a lie because her father is gay, yet she allows others to take advantage of her while she internally wades through her emotions. Though her interaction with her parents in the book is minor.

She never quite takes the leaps she needs to (rebellions aside), meaning she never really quite makes the decisions. Clarie's situations almost seem to be one of circumstance.

I don't think I'll be reading the sequel. After seeing the blurb and seeing the line about Bingham I felt that was a little too obvious, that's not to say that I might not change my mind. I liked his character a lot.

Definitely worth the read, albeit being quite a dark read. I did like it very much, but not for the faint of heart.

[Elaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Claire – her name. Obscure – not clear - describes her. Her life. Her wants and desires. What she wants from Finn. He asked her to move in with him but they don’t share a bed. They don’t share their bodies. Does she want to? She doesn’t know. Her feelings toward him are obscure – not clear - and he’s not making it easy. He’s just as messed up as she is. Probably more so as you will learn.

Other parts of her life are obscure to her. Her father is gay. Her mother has never showed her affection. She wants so much to please her mother. To receive some kind of praise. A hug. Some affection. She studies and memorizes words in her dictionaries. If only she selects and uses the correct word then maybe her mother would love her.

Obscure – confusing - Taken advantage of repeatedly during high school, she is unclear whether she enjoys it or not. Confused. And Beth her boss. There’s confusion there as well. Beth wants her but Finn doesn’t seem to.

She shows how small she thinks of herself in the way she signs the letters she doesn’t mail, using all small letters instead of initial caps. She makes a phone call to a disc jockey just to have someone to talk to.

Claire is involved in three relationships. One as confusing as the other because each has holes – voids they need to fill. Pain they need to extinguish.

Suspicious death of a friend. A bi-sexual relationship. Cutting. Rape.

All this yet it’s not done for its shock value but as part of the lives and pain each endures. Escape. Need.

This is unlike any other I’ve read. Everything about this story is dark including the clothes our protagonist wears. The sex she uses as a means of filling the void and in place of love, never does what she wants it to, leaving her almost an empty shell of herself.

The ending feels very rushed. I’ll explain below as a spoiler. Otherwise, this story is well-thought out and rich with emotion, and that being mostly of deep pain and sadness.

*** Spoiler *** I would have expected more from Finn at the end especially since he had such a hold over her. There’s no chase where he tries to win her back. No fight for her from Raoul. Her therapy is only mentioned in the last letter she writes but doesn’t send. It’s as though she left Finn and things only got better from there with hardly a struggle.

[Lyn (Readinghearts) · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I read the synopsis of this book, I was expecting to read the typical mystery/thriller. Girl meets boys, boy is a murderer, girl and friends have to solve the murder. Boy was I wrong. This book is nothing ordinary. It is the very complex story of a very complex cast of characters. Sometimes I loved them, sometimes I hated them, sometimes I was just disappointed in them. But always I was intrigued by them.

I could tell right away that this book was going to be a dark one. At the halfway point, I really had no idea how I was going to feel about the story in the end. At one point, I even contemplated whether I should finish it, but I couldn't turn away. It was like watching a train that is on the wrong track. You know it is going to wreck, you don't want to see it, but you can't turn away. The only thing that I will say, though, is that I couldn't read this book straight through. I had to read some each day, but read other things along with it.

This is the first book by Billie Hinton that I have read, but I will certainly be reading more. She really knows how to tell a story that keeps you involved. I loved her edgy descriptions, use of symbolism, and the complexity of the characters. I find that I HAVE to know what happens to these characters and hope to read the sequel to this one soon.

Kudos, Ms. Hinton. A very complex, very dark story!

[Gaele · Rating 3 out of 5]

as copied from my Amazon review
Obscure, perhaps far too much so ...

I picked up the book simply because it looked far different from the norm - and I was drawn to the title. It took me nearly 3 weeks to finish this book of 260 or so pages. A record slow read for me. It didn't excite me to read it, I found the characters to be rather self-absorbed and mired within that self-proclaimed obscurity. Sad, because the premise of a girl/woman with a general dissatisfaction in her life and no real impetus to make change is a great premise. But, while others will (and do I am sure) say that they got to know the characters "intimately", to me it felt like listening in on a therapy session. When they were all mixed up.

The writing is well crafted, I just didn't appreciate the skill as I couldn't connect at all with the story or the characters. The story was too choppy, as if we were being treated to a stop motion flip book into sections of her life: but it also didn't work for me as a memoir. I can't define where it fell apart for me, but perhaps it was that it felt like that book that you are assigned to read because "you should".

It certainly wasn't the book for me, I've tried twice to pick it up again and give it another read without success.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful and tragic. Not everyone will understand this tale which is at times difficult to read. But those with wounds that run deep will perhaps relate. and weep. Loved the word that she finally found in all her searching: cicatrice - the scar of a healed wound.

"I want to feel the ups and downs and passions of life without worrying that it's all too much. (...) I'm still a ways away, stuck outside the edges of the life I want to live and the person I want to be. What I know: every relationship is its own place, a country you live in for awhile and then you leave. In my life I have been exiled, held hostage, I've wandered across borders without notice. I'm lost in the wilds of it still, pieces of me remain. But there's a new country, unnamed and unexplored. It has been there all along. It was always mine, it still belongs to me. This is my last letter, it's time to find my way back."

Looking forward to reading the sequel to this.

[Jean · Rating 5 out of 5]

Claire is a fractured young woman and, as a result, she allows herself to be abused physically and mentally by men. This book is not for the squeamish as it is very graphic in places an in other parts, it's downright creepy.

I'm not usually one for abuse and weirdness but Billy Hinton presents an excellent story with, albiet, seriously mentally unbalanced characters,holds one's attention throughout.

I am left with a new respect for the saying: "People who hurt, hurt others." Wow! Lots of psychological thoughts turning over in my mind.

[Audrey Driscoll · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book's description intrigued me; it sounded like a psychologically infused murder mystery or crime thriller. It proved to be psychological, all right, but more literary than anything else. The language is artful and vivid. Examples:

First: "The littlest painting is my favorite. Lone woman in magenta, blue moon languishing over her shoulder, emerald ivy climbs across her chin and up past her left ear. Her eyes hold a secret, she has the answer. "Woman Who Knows," it's called. But what about the woman who doesn't?" (page 6)

Second: "Her sweet expression turns, the muscles beneath the skin shift and tighten. I imagine opening the dictionary to the word petulant and finding a pen and ink sketch of Beth's face in this moment." (page 56)

Third: "She's plotting it out, fitting it to her own purposes. Nothing devious, simply the childlike narcissism she wears, a forgotten tiara she wore playing dress-up." (page 57)

Fourth: "Sunlight pours over his shoulder and forms a puddle at his feet. Dust flows like its own river in the wide swath of light, as though beamed down from some massive dustbin in the sky." (page 75)

Claire, the main character and narrator, read dictionaries as a child and collected words. Words and their definitions open each chapter, giving some indication as to what will follow. Words like palimpsest, pentimento, esurient, Gordian, sempiternal, kriegspiel. All this attention to words made reading the book a pleasure.

Unfortunately, the characters did not. Both Claire and Finn are damaged people; this probably forms the basis of their strange relationship, which should be sexual but isn't. Sex, in fact, is both question and answer for Claire. Sexual events occur frequently in this book. The description stops short of graphic, but the frequency and inappropriateness become disturbing. Sex with men contrasts with Claire's exploration of sex with Beth, who is her boss at the bookstore she works in.

Clothing, food, and wine are important parts of Claire's life. Garments serve as symbols and fetishes, and are lovingly described. Drives and walks, nightclubs and restaurants all figure in her irregular lifestyle. Once Raoul enters the scene, things get a bit repetitious as Claire pinballs between him and Finn, unable to choose one or the other. The ending felt a bit incomplete, but I understand there is a sequel.

I was happy to reach the end of the book. Reading it was both compelling and repellent, like eating a whole box of chocolate cherries washed down with vodka. (Note: I have never actually done this.) I recommend the book to adventurous readers, with a caution that it includes mentions of self-harm.

[Melissa Herman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent Read!!

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a dark, depressing read. The story is quite heavy with a desperate feel to it. Even with this though, the ending had a glimmer of hope and the idea of overcoming darkness.

The characters were the biggest part of the story. Claire was frustrating, and at points I started to hate her. Finn was scary and dangerous, and was easy to hate. Raoul was the light of the story with his gentle understanding nature. He had his own dark side, he seemed much more controlled and “normal”.

While I didn’t like most of the characters, the writing quality was great. The fact that I had such a strong reaction to the characters said a lot. They felt real, and so I had a real reaction to them.

[James Everington · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book, and exceptionally well written. It's essentially a love-triangle story, although a complex, strange, and disturbing one. In its forensic depiction of emotional states and the dark side of love, it reminded me of some of Margaret Atwood's more realistic stories - high praise. I also liked the author's obvious love of words - the word definitions that headed chapters (which was in character for Claire) and the letters to Virginia Woolf were both great touches. One slight (and I do mean slight) flaw was the central characters yo-yo-ing between two men occasionally got repetitive. But otherwise a great book - recommended to all fans of literate stories.

[Sheila · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is almost difficult for me to describe. Claire is...Claire. She is young and troubled, and the hurt she inflicts upon herself will make you want to shake some sense into her. You want to scream out warnings, but all you can do is hang in there abed hope she comes to her senses. It was that deep emotional involvement in Claire that made me love this story so much. I felt as though I was a friend of Claire's...seeing this all happen and wanting to save her, but knowing that wisdom can only come from her saving herself. I haven't re-read it yet, but I will definitely be going back for more.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very rarely does a book take me to a place where I feel as if I am part of the story. Emotionally I understood her relationships, I could feel her need and desires fulfilled by each man that became part of the story. To say I enjoyed the read would be an understatement. Ms. Hinton's descriptions of all aspects of the book were wonderful and detailed. Even though sexual actions played their part in this book, they played such a small part to the emotions of each character. I don't know that I would call this a light read, but quick and engaging would fit for this book.

[Karla · Rating 3 out of 5]

Claire is a complex, dark and complicated young woman. This book was very difficult at times to read because the unpleasant and dark parts were very descriptive. This book made me sad, and uncomfortable. However, with that being said Billie Hinton did an amazing job in writing this tale and really getting you into the characters skin. I would recommend this book but I think you do have to be in the right mind frame to read it. Twisted, dark, wrong, depressing, sad, broken, empty, abused, violated, mental, and desperate are all words I would use to describe this book.

[Vicki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Claire Obscure is a complex novel about Claire, who was raped on when she was 17, and the implications of this act on the rest of her life. This is definitely the kind of book you read, shaking your head, wondering what the character is thinking. I was inclined to finish to see if there was some sort of redemption for her character. I did find some scenes to be redundant and the constant circle of her life stilted the plot for me.

3.5 Stars overall for me.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

WOW!! What a book!! I had never read a book by Billie Hinton, but I just loved this one! Claire really made me mad at some of the things she did and what she put up with, but I couldn't stop reading!! I had to know what was going to happen! At times, the book was very dark and I found myself holding my breath! What was she going to do next?? Make sure you read the sequel, Signs that Might be Omens to read more about Claire! Great job Billie!! I loved it!!

[Angelique Buckley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't think I would have finished this book if I had read it at any other point. The fact that it was the first one I started after the 50 Shades series is definitely what kept me in. It is the complete opposite to the 50 shades series. Every character seems damaged, and the author wants you to care about each one.... but I just didn't. Oh well.

[Brandy Hunt · Rating 5 out of 5]

The main character in this book is compelling and so ... strong. She doesn't really come off as strong in the beginning, but as the novel goes on and more of her story is told, the strength of the main character as she tries to find love and acceptance kept me drawn in. Definitely, worth reading.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was good, but hard to read. I was wanting to shake this woman and say, 'what is wrong with you?!?!' It was a little like a train wreck. I'm glad I read it, though. The author had excellent prose.

[Marguerite Caldwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rather fantastic. I loved the way it was written, and very much identified with Claire, her choices, etc. More information here: http://metellaporcia.blogspot.com/201...

[Hanane · Rating 1 out of 5]

Interestingly strange. read it in an afternoon

[J Brooke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing unsettling confusing beautiful

[Claudia Harrington · Rating 3 out of 5]

warning : strong sexual n some language.
A very well written tragic story that highlights the struggles of a rape victim. Characters are well developed and likeable.

[Leslie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Weird, not sure why I even finished it.