“While we have a strong inborn capacity to form bonds, there is nothing in our biology that helps us deal with bonds that get broken, and that means that mourning is something we have to learn from experience.”
Sue Stuart-Smith, author of ‘The Well-Gardened Mind’
This story takes place in a Pennsylvania suburb and begins during the dark days at the end of December. Winter is an appropriate setting for a story about grief and loss, and author, Ethan Joella makes me feel the cold chill of mourning as Chuck Ayers, grieves the death of his wife, Cat. Along with Chuck, there is busy Ella Burke, delivering newspapers seven days a week, followed by an eight-hour shift at ‘Bridal Today.’ If she keeps busy enough, she thinks it may help her to get through the days and minutes and hours she’s had no news about her missing daughter. The last character to round out what seems like a chorus in a Greek tragedy is Kirsten Bonato. Kirsten’s father was killed while waiting in line at a gas station. If you think this story sounds too sad to read, I can only tell you that it is stunningly beautiful, and felt like a balm of good medicine to me.
What makes it so? The characters for one and two and three. Each one represents a different kind of loss, as well as a different age group. Chuck, in his seventies, represents the loss we all must eventually face, that of the end of life. Ella, in her forties, represents the worst fears any parent can have, and Kirsten, in her early twenties, shows that no age is safe from the harbinger of bad news, even death.
I come to know and love all these characters and equally so, the people they mourn. Cat is as fully realized as any character in the story. Chuck remembers that she was the glue that held the family together, the ringleader of any occasion, and a lover of things, ornaments, a special towel. An art teacher, Cat told her students that the cardinal was the bird who stuck around during the winter, giving hope. The book cover picture shows a cardinal sitting on an icy branch just outside the window. I love this, that bright, startling red lighting up a dismal winter’s day. How vibrant, warm, and loving Cat seemed to be. I can feel Chuck’s loneliness as he tries to navigate each day without his partner of so many years by his side.
Ethan Joella creates fully formed characters in Alberto, Kirsten’s father, and Riley, Ella’s daughter as well. In this way, I come to understand something of what Kirsten and Ella are suffering as they grieve the loss of their loved ones. What they are missing. Alberto's brilliant storytelling, Riley setting up doll furniture with her mother, so many things. Chuck, Ella, and Kirsten have regrets regarding things they wish they had done. Chuck labors under a particularly heavy load of guilt and it’s interesting to see how the author shapes this part of the story.
The author teaches English and psychology at the University of Delaware. He obviously (to me, at least) understands the grief process and has a lot of insight into human nature and relationships. The book is structured with fairly short chapters that travel between the three main characters. The writing is very good and fluid. He ends the chapters with little cliffhangers, not big dramatic ones that are unrealistic, but ones that keep me interested, wanting to know what happens next. Besides the major themes of loss and grief, Ethan Joella works in the lovely theme of ‘being someone’s cardinal,’ that bright spot on a dark winter’s day.
"It is when the world within us is destroyed, when it is dead and loveless, when our loved ones are in fragments, and we ourselves in helpless despair--it is then that we must recreate our world anew, reassemble the pieces, infuse life into dead fragments, recreate life."
Hanna Segal, psychoanalyst