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Lost and Found: Unexpected Revelations About Food and Money
The #1 New York Times bestselling author of Women Food and God maps a path to meeting one of our greatest challenges-how we deal with money. When Geneen Roth and her husband lost their life savings in the Bernard Madoff debacle, Roth joined the millions of Americans dealing with financial turbulence, uncertainty, and abrupt reversals in their expectations. The resulting shock was the catalyst for her to explore how women's habits and behaviors around money-as with food-can lead to exactly the situations they most want to avoid. Roth identified her own unconscious choices: binge shopping followed by periods of budgetary self-deprivation, "treating" herself in ways that ultimately failed to sustain, and using money as a substitute for love, among others. As she examined the deep sources of these habits, she faced the hard truth about where her "self-protective" financial decisions had led. With irreverent humor and hard-won wisdom, she offers provocative and radical strategies for transforming how we feel and behave about the resources that should, and can, sustain and support our lives.
207 pages, Hardcover
First published March 1, 2011
97 people are currently reading
1226 people want to read
About the author
Geneen Roth
57 books627 followersGeneen Roth's pioneering books were among the first to link compulsive eating and perpetual dieting with deeply personal and spiritual issues that go far beyond food, weight and body image. She believes that we eat the way we live, and that our relationship to food, money, love is an exact reflection of our deepest held beliefs about ourselves and the amount of joy, abundance, pain, scarcity, we believe we have (or are allowed) to have in our lives.
Rather than pushing away the "crazy" things we do, Geneen's work proceeds with the conviction that our actions and beliefs make exquisite sense, and that the way to transform our relationship with food is to be open, curious and kind with ourselves-instead of punishing, impatient and harsh. In the past thirty years, she has worked with hundreds of thousands of people using meditation, inquiry, and a set of seven eating guidelines that are the foundation of natural eating.
Geneen has appeared on many national television shows including: The Oprah Show, 20/20, The NBC Nightly News, The View and Good Morning America. Articles about Geneen and her work have appeared in numerous publications including: O: The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Time, Elle, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, and The Philadelphia Inquirer. She has written monthly columns in Good Housekeeping Magazine and Prevention Magazine. Geneen is the author of eight books, including The New York Times bestsellers When Food is Love and Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything. Her newest book, to be published in March 2011, is Lost and Found: Unexpected Revelations about Food and Money.
Rather than pushing away the "crazy" things we do, Geneen's work proceeds with the conviction that our actions and beliefs make exquisite sense, and that the way to transform our relationship with food is to be open, curious and kind with ourselves-instead of punishing, impatient and harsh. In the past thirty years, she has worked with hundreds of thousands of people using meditation, inquiry, and a set of seven eating guidelines that are the foundation of natural eating.
Geneen has appeared on many national television shows including: The Oprah Show, 20/20, The NBC Nightly News, The View and Good Morning America. Articles about Geneen and her work have appeared in numerous publications including: O: The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Time, Elle, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, and The Philadelphia Inquirer. She has written monthly columns in Good Housekeeping Magazine and Prevention Magazine. Geneen is the author of eight books, including The New York Times bestsellers When Food is Love and Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything. Her newest book, to be published in March 2011, is Lost and Found: Unexpected Revelations about Food and Money.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 220 reviews
May 6, 2012
This was a book club pick that I put down over halfway through. Even considering how difficult I found it to relate to the author's predicament or lifestyle, I think I'd have enjoyed reading it if she'd focused more tightly on the "memoir about money" theme.
Instead of tying her experience as a Madoff victim closely to financial insights, Roth rambles through repetitive digressions about food and spiritual practice. She also heavily references the content of her previous books. I guess that we were supposed to have read those first, because she sometimes refers offhandedly to facts about herself that she hadn't shared yet.
It came off as scattered and self-indulgent, and I gave up because I couldn't shake the feeling that I was reading someone's diary.
Instead of tying her experience as a Madoff victim closely to financial insights, Roth rambles through repetitive digressions about food and spiritual practice. She also heavily references the content of her previous books. I guess that we were supposed to have read those first, because she sometimes refers offhandedly to facts about herself that she hadn't shared yet.
It came off as scattered and self-indulgent, and I gave up because I couldn't shake the feeling that I was reading someone's diary.
March 27, 2011
I'm a longtime Geneen Roth fan, and think this might be her best work yet, or at the very least, right up there, as she untangles the ways we think about money and food and what they represent. She starts with her own major loss--her and her husband's life savings of one million dollars, which had been invested with Bernie Madoff. But what's really at the heart of this book is why and how she came to invest with him and the assumptions she'd made about money--that caring about it was for "other people" (read: men) and that those who felt moved to act for social change "shouldn't" care about money.
I found so many connections to what she wrote about money and my own relationship...with dating and relationships. It was almost eerie, and I think anyone who's felt that they should look to an authority figure who "knows better," whether about money or another topic, who has purposefully avoided looking at the hard things, thinking they'd either go away or magically take care of themselves, who's used money to soothe themselves, will get something out of this book.
At first, especially if you're someone who lives paycheck to paycheck, the idea that someone with such a nest egg could feel worried about money seems a bit audacious, over-the-top, but it's a very clear line from those who are thin but feel fat, and what Roth does best here is describe that feeling, and how the extreme nature of what happened with her savings forced her to reckon with her previous thinking. The stories about her father's treatment of money (tossing it onto the floor and making everyone else literally scramble on the ground to pick it up) are eerie and disturbing, but Roth never asks us to feel sorry for her. She isn't looking at what made Madoff do what he did but rather how her own attitude fosters her ignorance and allowed her to continue to put money into a category outside of her own mind. This is a powerful book that I will certainly be rereading, and Roth masterfully looks deep inside as well as outside, amongst her peers who lost money to Madoff and their varying reactions as well as in a broader sense, to what money does and doesn't signify in our culture.
I found so many connections to what she wrote about money and my own relationship...with dating and relationships. It was almost eerie, and I think anyone who's felt that they should look to an authority figure who "knows better," whether about money or another topic, who has purposefully avoided looking at the hard things, thinking they'd either go away or magically take care of themselves, who's used money to soothe themselves, will get something out of this book.
At first, especially if you're someone who lives paycheck to paycheck, the idea that someone with such a nest egg could feel worried about money seems a bit audacious, over-the-top, but it's a very clear line from those who are thin but feel fat, and what Roth does best here is describe that feeling, and how the extreme nature of what happened with her savings forced her to reckon with her previous thinking. The stories about her father's treatment of money (tossing it onto the floor and making everyone else literally scramble on the ground to pick it up) are eerie and disturbing, but Roth never asks us to feel sorry for her. She isn't looking at what made Madoff do what he did but rather how her own attitude fosters her ignorance and allowed her to continue to put money into a category outside of her own mind. This is a powerful book that I will certainly be rereading, and Roth masterfully looks deep inside as well as outside, amongst her peers who lost money to Madoff and their varying reactions as well as in a broader sense, to what money does and doesn't signify in our culture.
May 16, 2011
this was an interesting book but i can't co-sign it entirely because i don't have any friends that are millionaires (as far as i am aware) & i think this book would be a little alienating to anyone that was not a millionaire. which is not say that non-millionaires can't get something out of it, but i don't know if it's really that surprising to anyone who has struggled with money their entire life to hear that people often have dysfunctional relationships with money. i don't know.
this kind of teeters on the brink between being a memoir & being a self-help book. the author has previously written bset-selling memoir/self-help-style books about the dysfunctional relationship that women have with food. i think that is kind of an over-statement, because certainly not all women have dysfunctional relationships with food, & having the kind of dysfunctional relationship that roth describes is obviously a first-world problem. anyway, roth made a fair chunk of change writing these books & leading related workshops, & she & her husband sunk all their wealth into bernie madoff's ponzi scheme investment fund. they lost everything when he was arrested.
this made roth realize that she'd devoted her adult life to understanding & overcoming her dysfunctional relationship with food without ever seeing that her relationship with money was just as damaged. she relates this to her theories about how all people's relationships with money are dysfunctional--perhaps especially women's. she writes about asking some of her rich lady friends if they understand their investments & how they make money decisions. the women were all like, "oh, my husband handles that," or, "i have a money guy i trust completely." roth encourages them to become more involved in handling their own financial arrangements, because obviously she trusted bernie madoff & look where that got her. she also starts to explore her parents' relationship with money & the way they used money & gifts & shopping sprees as stand-ins for love.
can i just say...when your dad, on at least a few occasions, throws huge quantities of cash up in the air & forces the family to scramble on the ground picking it up, & lets them keep whatever they pick up, while he laughs at them...how the FUCK does it take you upwards of thirty years to realize that's kind of messed up?
maybe i am biased because, while i don't have much money (i live on about $15,000 a year), i am pretty good with managing my money. i have a savings account that is pretty damn healthy, considering how little income i have, & i manage to cover all my expenses without sinking into debt. i even manage to buy treats for myself. maybe my treats are more along the lines of an occasional $6 lunch & not an $800 dress, but it works for me. i had a hard time relating to this book because the premise seemed to be, "having money causes guilt, & when people struggle with their guilt, they try to give the money away." i have so little money by first-world standards that i really don't feel guilty & try to give my money away! i think about the lives of the women who take roth's workshops...money with women to blow to sit in a room with a bunch of other women & strive for perfection. it's just a very foreign concept to me, i can't relate, & therefore i struggle to empathize.
different strokes for different folks, i guess? i do think that most people (at least in developed nations) have fucked up relationships with money. i mean, if my friends are any indication. maybe a book like this would be helpful to them, even if it didn't really resonate with me.
this kind of teeters on the brink between being a memoir & being a self-help book. the author has previously written bset-selling memoir/self-help-style books about the dysfunctional relationship that women have with food. i think that is kind of an over-statement, because certainly not all women have dysfunctional relationships with food, & having the kind of dysfunctional relationship that roth describes is obviously a first-world problem. anyway, roth made a fair chunk of change writing these books & leading related workshops, & she & her husband sunk all their wealth into bernie madoff's ponzi scheme investment fund. they lost everything when he was arrested.
this made roth realize that she'd devoted her adult life to understanding & overcoming her dysfunctional relationship with food without ever seeing that her relationship with money was just as damaged. she relates this to her theories about how all people's relationships with money are dysfunctional--perhaps especially women's. she writes about asking some of her rich lady friends if they understand their investments & how they make money decisions. the women were all like, "oh, my husband handles that," or, "i have a money guy i trust completely." roth encourages them to become more involved in handling their own financial arrangements, because obviously she trusted bernie madoff & look where that got her. she also starts to explore her parents' relationship with money & the way they used money & gifts & shopping sprees as stand-ins for love.
can i just say...when your dad, on at least a few occasions, throws huge quantities of cash up in the air & forces the family to scramble on the ground picking it up, & lets them keep whatever they pick up, while he laughs at them...how the FUCK does it take you upwards of thirty years to realize that's kind of messed up?
maybe i am biased because, while i don't have much money (i live on about $15,000 a year), i am pretty good with managing my money. i have a savings account that is pretty damn healthy, considering how little income i have, & i manage to cover all my expenses without sinking into debt. i even manage to buy treats for myself. maybe my treats are more along the lines of an occasional $6 lunch & not an $800 dress, but it works for me. i had a hard time relating to this book because the premise seemed to be, "having money causes guilt, & when people struggle with their guilt, they try to give the money away." i have so little money by first-world standards that i really don't feel guilty & try to give my money away! i think about the lives of the women who take roth's workshops...money with women to blow to sit in a room with a bunch of other women & strive for perfection. it's just a very foreign concept to me, i can't relate, & therefore i struggle to empathize.
different strokes for different folks, i guess? i do think that most people (at least in developed nations) have fucked up relationships with money. i mean, if my friends are any indication. maybe a book like this would be helpful to them, even if it didn't really resonate with me.
September 6, 2011
This could very well be one of the most important books I read this year. Geneen Roth turns her wisdom and unflinching self-reflection to the topic of money. After losing her life's savings to Bernie Madoff, Roth can no longer play, "Fat, dumb and happy" with matters of the wallet. She dives into her lifelong propensity to play "the little lady" and let the "big, strong men" take over. What she finds is nothing short of life-changing. So many quotable passages, "aha!" moments, and wisdom. Highly recommended.
April 1, 2012
If you're ever struggled with weight or money or shopping, trying to prove to all the people who aren't even paying attention to you anyway that you are worthy of the space you take up in this world, this is a book you should read. What I always enjoy about Roth's writing is that it isn't all "I've been there and here's how I conquered it, here's how I've done what you haven't been able to." There's a honesty and frankness that is all too often lacking in other books like this.
July 3, 2012
Although I don't really have "money issues", this little book made me look at the other things I've got a "scarcity paradigm" problem with. I'd pretty much call it a life-changer, and that is an understatement.
If you don't have time to read the book, here is its essence in one sentence:
"When we pierce the trance--or something pierces it for us, like a death or accident or financial loss--it's as if we step out of the dream and into the crystalline freshness of life itself."
If you don't have time to read the book, here is its essence in one sentence:
"When we pierce the trance--or something pierces it for us, like a death or accident or financial loss--it's as if we step out of the dream and into the crystalline freshness of life itself."
April 20, 2011
I didn't think that I would enjoy this book that much. I mean - it seemed interesting when I read about it on the library site. Peaked my curiosity so to speak. Then it sat on my TBR shelf until I realized that it had to be returned in a day and there was a reader request list a mile long waiting to read it. I couldn't renew it. Well - I could - I'd just have to wait again, and that just seemed like a goofy thing to do. So I decided to start it and see if it was one that I would go back to or not. Suffice it to say, I read it in one go! Once I got going I found it was very interesting and an easy read. And engrossingly enlightening !
Geneen Roth is a writer and lecturer who has made her living writing and touring and doing retreats on helping people (and herself) confront the issues behind their eating issues. Basing it on the Tibetan philosophy that to confront and acknowledge the start is how you start to solve why you do it in the first place. It makes you explore and understand why you do what you do.... and how you can stop , or start to stop, your own destructive behaviors. This book came about when she was confronted with the reality of losing ALL of her (and her husband's) life savings to a Ponzi scheme. Then she found her findings also pertained to her personal relationship with money.
In a nutshell, it's a book that looks at how we, as women, look at money. Making it, handling it, using it. And it's very interesting! As you read about her particular experience and how she decided to examine her relationship with money, it makes you think of you and your relationship. A little scary - and a real eye opener! And since I've been on a personal quest (using a similiar Tibetan philosophy of confronting and examining my internal relationships in relation to my art), it sort of fit right into a lot of soul searching.
Then I phoned and made an appointment with a banking advisor to take my relationship with my money ....hands on!
Geneen Roth is a writer and lecturer who has made her living writing and touring and doing retreats on helping people (and herself) confront the issues behind their eating issues. Basing it on the Tibetan philosophy that to confront and acknowledge the start is how you start to solve why you do it in the first place. It makes you explore and understand why you do what you do.... and how you can stop , or start to stop, your own destructive behaviors. This book came about when she was confronted with the reality of losing ALL of her (and her husband's) life savings to a Ponzi scheme. Then she found her findings also pertained to her personal relationship with money.
In a nutshell, it's a book that looks at how we, as women, look at money. Making it, handling it, using it. And it's very interesting! As you read about her particular experience and how she decided to examine her relationship with money, it makes you think of you and your relationship. A little scary - and a real eye opener! And since I've been on a personal quest (using a similiar Tibetan philosophy of confronting and examining my internal relationships in relation to my art), it sort of fit right into a lot of soul searching.
Then I phoned and made an appointment with a banking advisor to take my relationship with my money ....hands on!
October 7, 2012
While this book didn't have the mind-blowing heft of some of her other books like "When Food is Love" or "Women Food and God," it had plenty of important points about the connections between how our relationship with food and our relationship with money. Roth talks a lot about the denial around money that so many women have. I admit that I am guilty on this count. There have been months where I knew I spent more than I earned and the paralyzing fear around admitting that and seeing it in ink on a piece of paper made me put off tallying up my budget for months. Roth connects this fear and denial to what often happens around how we think of food. For example, when we think, "Oh, it was just a cookie, it doesn't 'count'....", it's the same as not counting that daily cafe mocha into our budget. The point is that we lie to ourselves about money, and women are especially guilty of this.
Roth wrote this book after losing all of her savings in Bernie Madoff's ponzi scheme. Rightfully so, she wondered how a woman like her -- smart, grounded, someone who led other women in digging into the deepest depths of their issues with food and nourishment, someone who made really good money -- could have been so blind-sided by Madoff's deceit. Her conclusion is that when we don't examine what happens with our money, when we don't ask questions of financial advisers or investors because we feel stupid for not knowing the answers already, when we play dumb because we think that "I just can't understand money," then we are cheating ourselves. How we earn money, how we spend money, and how we save money (or don't) speaks volumes about how we see our own value in this world and what we think we deserve in this world.
This is NOT a call for selfish hedonism in relation to money -- just like Roth's advocacy of no dieting is not a battle call to ingest brownie sundaes at any and every chance possible. What Roth insists on instead is a conscious relationship with ourselves and with how we use food and money to develop, support, and nourish our lives, and subsequently, the lives of those we share this planet with.
Roth wrote this book after losing all of her savings in Bernie Madoff's ponzi scheme. Rightfully so, she wondered how a woman like her -- smart, grounded, someone who led other women in digging into the deepest depths of their issues with food and nourishment, someone who made really good money -- could have been so blind-sided by Madoff's deceit. Her conclusion is that when we don't examine what happens with our money, when we don't ask questions of financial advisers or investors because we feel stupid for not knowing the answers already, when we play dumb because we think that "I just can't understand money," then we are cheating ourselves. How we earn money, how we spend money, and how we save money (or don't) speaks volumes about how we see our own value in this world and what we think we deserve in this world.
This is NOT a call for selfish hedonism in relation to money -- just like Roth's advocacy of no dieting is not a battle call to ingest brownie sundaes at any and every chance possible. What Roth insists on instead is a conscious relationship with ourselves and with how we use food and money to develop, support, and nourish our lives, and subsequently, the lives of those we share this planet with.
July 20, 2011
If you start a book with how you - and most of your friends - lost your life savings to Bernie Madoff, consider me hooked. Especially if you also tie it into dysfunctional eating behaviors and the need to be more mindful. If that's not enough, this is not the first time she's been defrauded - or heck, even the second time. And that's where I start to wonder.
The strongest points she makes are you can lose everything and still overcome your fears and anxieties and that when you do have money, try to use your money in a way that reflects what you value most. Oh, and try to make your relationship with money more conscious. The money tales in this book will shock you - especially concerning her dad (his will, the tossing of cash, how he earns the cash, etc).
Yet you're also left with the feeling that the author will slip back into old unconscious habits. As her brother notes, she's turned suffering into a career. Something comes across as being vested in continuing some bad habits to almost "keep it real" or at least have something to write and hold seminars about.
Regardless, a good wake-up call as to the importance of honesty in all our relationships, including our relationship to money and self-worth.
The strongest points she makes are you can lose everything and still overcome your fears and anxieties and that when you do have money, try to use your money in a way that reflects what you value most. Oh, and try to make your relationship with money more conscious. The money tales in this book will shock you - especially concerning her dad (his will, the tossing of cash, how he earns the cash, etc).
Yet you're also left with the feeling that the author will slip back into old unconscious habits. As her brother notes, she's turned suffering into a career. Something comes across as being vested in continuing some bad habits to almost "keep it real" or at least have something to write and hold seminars about.
Regardless, a good wake-up call as to the importance of honesty in all our relationships, including our relationship to money and self-worth.
August 13, 2013
3.5
This book is more of a memoir than the other book by Geneen Roth that I read, Women, Food and God, which I really enjoyed. It has much in common with that book, but is probably less practical. Still somewhat of a self-help book, in Lost and Found Roth spends a great deal of time reflecting on her own relationship with money, and how her denial of her financial situation led to her loss of almost a million dollars with Bernie Madoff. Some other reviewers here commented that normal folks, who don't have a million dollars lying around, may have a hard time relating to this book, and I would tend to agree with that. Most people I know are just trying to make sure the rent or mortgage is paid, and figure out how to save a few bucks. Still, this was an interesting book (I listened to it on audio) and I did appreciate the connections Roth makes between overindulging with food and overspending. It all boils down to having a healthy respect for yourself, and thinking before you act. I also really appreciate her method of inquiry- breaking down old beliefs, looking at where these beliefs came from, and trying to understand how they affect our behavior.
This book is more of a memoir than the other book by Geneen Roth that I read, Women, Food and God, which I really enjoyed. It has much in common with that book, but is probably less practical. Still somewhat of a self-help book, in Lost and Found Roth spends a great deal of time reflecting on her own relationship with money, and how her denial of her financial situation led to her loss of almost a million dollars with Bernie Madoff. Some other reviewers here commented that normal folks, who don't have a million dollars lying around, may have a hard time relating to this book, and I would tend to agree with that. Most people I know are just trying to make sure the rent or mortgage is paid, and figure out how to save a few bucks. Still, this was an interesting book (I listened to it on audio) and I did appreciate the connections Roth makes between overindulging with food and overspending. It all boils down to having a healthy respect for yourself, and thinking before you act. I also really appreciate her method of inquiry- breaking down old beliefs, looking at where these beliefs came from, and trying to understand how they affect our behavior.
June 5, 2012
Some interesting ideas about attitudes toward money and putting it into proper perspective in your life, but very much geared for people who are compulsive about it one way or the other (spending or saving). Although I do have my money issues, compulsion is not one of them, so this book was of limited utility for me.
Other reviewers have noted that this might have made a better essay than a book, that a lot was repetitive and there seemed to be a lot of filler, and I tend to agree. The fact that she had invested with Madoff was established in the prologue; I'm not sure we had to be reminded on what seemed like every other page. It seems to assume that you've read her other books (I haven't), since it refers back to them a lot.
Still, it's refreshing to see someone open up about what is still a taboo topic in our society.
Other reviewers have noted that this might have made a better essay than a book, that a lot was repetitive and there seemed to be a lot of filler, and I tend to agree. The fact that she had invested with Madoff was established in the prologue; I'm not sure we had to be reminded on what seemed like every other page. It seems to assume that you've read her other books (I haven't), since it refers back to them a lot.
Still, it's refreshing to see someone open up about what is still a taboo topic in our society.
April 10, 2011
When I read the blurb, I thought, "Wow, this is so relevant." When I started reading it, I thought, okay, it talks about the Madoff Ponzi victims, i.e. Roth. I can't put my finger on it, but somehow the book feels like it was meant to comfort Roth and Roth alone. She does share some useful insights here and there, but they are so few and eclipsed by mundane "revelations" such as wandering into a store selling $800 dresses and then realizing that buying them wouldn't really mean anything or something to that effect. I just couldn't relate to her stories. I can't help but think that the author lost all her life savings to Madoff and is now taking advantage by publishing this book to gain some of it back.
May 6, 2011
I love her unpretentious and totally authentic style. This is a fierce topic and it is very telling about women and our roles in financial society. Basically we need a feminist revolution in money matters more than any other system. If it is the root of all evil, and I would argue that along with religion you can't get a more evil duo. Than we the people need to know and understand the enemy and stop letting the white dudes of this world continue to drive this train. But we first need to overcome our uncomfortable feelings around the subject of personal finance. This book to me is the initial attempt to break the myth of women not being able to control their money. I hope to hear much more from Geneen as we unravel the lies that have perpetuated this oppression.
March 14, 2022
I read her Feeding the Hungry Heart years ago. This is a re-hash. Not surprising her advice on money is similar to that she gives about food (ie very little is specific to money - except to imply it's about daddy issues for most women). It's surprising how much of the book is dedicated to the author and her seminar participants belittling themselves.
She does say some interesting things about how those wealthy enough to have lost a fortune feel about money--it's embarrassing for a "woke" person to have it, and best to get rid of it asap before one dirties their hands. The same is applied to "being thin" - the danger being fear of resentment from other people/women and generally negative stereotypes about "those" type of people - the type Roth and her clients aspire to be. Or are.
She does say some interesting things about how those wealthy enough to have lost a fortune feel about money--it's embarrassing for a "woke" person to have it, and best to get rid of it asap before one dirties their hands. The same is applied to "being thin" - the danger being fear of resentment from other people/women and generally negative stereotypes about "those" type of people - the type Roth and her clients aspire to be. Or are.
March 27, 2011
This was okay, but maybe because I'm struggling day to day, I found it extremely hard to sympathize with the author stressing about how to pay her mortgage, when she admits to handing over all of her money to an investor and not seeing it after that. Obviously her husband made enough money that her income didn't matter, and if she now actually has her income, they're fine.
I can relate to the love=parents buying stuff, but she didn't seem to have any "unexpected revelations" regarding this, at least to me anyway.
I won this in the Goodreads Firstread giveaway.
I can relate to the love=parents buying stuff, but she didn't seem to have any "unexpected revelations" regarding this, at least to me anyway.
I won this in the Goodreads Firstread giveaway.
July 15, 2011
I really did not like this book. It was typical Geneen Roth writing, but I just couldn't find myself getting into it. It dragged the whole time for me. I do recognize that some of my eating behaviors show up in the way I spend money (scrimp then blow money because I've been "good" and "deserve it"). Maybe if I took more time to think about how the way I spend money reflects how I experience the world, I'd have more insight. I think the way I spend money is really healthy, though, much more mindful than the way I eat. A good read, but definitely my least favorite of Roth's.
June 25, 2011
I'm not overly fond of the author's somewhat scattered writing style. There were snippets of insight that I could relate to here and there but for the most part I've decided that I don't have these sorts of issues with food or money, at least not to the degree that people in this book do. I did learn a lot about the Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme though, to which I'd paid scant attention when it happened.
April 2, 2015
I bought this at the Dollar Tree so I am grateful for that but I wish I could scrub it from my brain. I am a fan of Roth's but found her narcissism here really too much to take. Nice to know she looked down her nose at everyone else until Bernie Madoff stole all her money. I couldn't relate to her at all...a sad book to get through. Mind numbing actually. I wish I dad bought something else with that dollar...
January 7, 2013
I always have a hard time admitting this, because I feel like a CPA should be great with her personal finances, but I...am not. This book was a revelation for me in terms of helping me figure out some of the emotions I attach to money and spending. I have a lot of work to do in this area, but I feel much less ashamed about it now.
November 23, 2021
Love the honesty, reflections, comparisons and helpful perspectives in this one. This is definitely for #womenandmoney and a great self-care read. I think I would like to read the one she wrote about food next.
March 10, 2012
I fortunately stumbled upon this book and it's taken me in. I hope I can find my way to the mindfulness the author has in this book.
April 19, 2012
A fabulous, honest look By Roth, a woman who lost everything to Bernie Madoff and used the tragedy to find her spiritual center. Truly inspiring, and well-written to boot!
December 29, 2019
Just not much there
February 12, 2023
Takes about 3/4's of the way to get to the point, but once she does, it's a doozy. Be willing to confront your deep-seeded beliefs, or this book will mean nothing and will feel like repetitive, self-indulgent fluff.
January 19, 2014
This was a DNF for me, and despite the fact that I couldn't get through this, I'm still giving this 2 stars based solely on the fact that Roth is a good writer.
This sounds like a great book. It's a good idea. It has a solid concept, and one that I think is valid, yet I couldn't handle this book.
Partly this could be due to the utterly narcissistic writing. The intense and completely unnecessary navel-gazing. The endless quotations of Zen and Buddhist masters (yes, we get it! You're new age and all spiritual-like). The conflation of Roth's strange obsessions to women-kind everywhere. And, what really bugged me, the non-stop discussion of her own "terrible" childhood.
Although we do all absorb our lessons of life from when we were children, and yes, your parent's strange (nay, seriously problematic) view of money would effect your own view of money as an adult, there comes a time when you need to grow up and deal with life as an adult. And that means taking responsibility for your own decisions, whatever they may be. The only person you have to blame for investing your money with Bernie Madoff is YOU. You made that choice. It may have been recommended by a friend, or ok'ed by your finance advisor, and agreed on with your husband - but at the end of day only one person is responsible for your actions. And that is you.
I am definitely not the market for this book. I think it's been miscategorized as a 'money' book, when this is in actually a self-help book specifically focusing on addiction and recovery.
And, in the end, I think that is what bothered me most about this book. The fact that Roth still blames her parents on her ridiculous views of money and food. Get over it. And grow up.
This sounds like a great book. It's a good idea. It has a solid concept, and one that I think is valid, yet I couldn't handle this book.
Partly this could be due to the utterly narcissistic writing. The intense and completely unnecessary navel-gazing. The endless quotations of Zen and Buddhist masters (yes, we get it! You're new age and all spiritual-like). The conflation of Roth's strange obsessions to women-kind everywhere. And, what really bugged me, the non-stop discussion of her own "terrible" childhood.
Although we do all absorb our lessons of life from when we were children, and yes, your parent's strange (nay, seriously problematic) view of money would effect your own view of money as an adult, there comes a time when you need to grow up and deal with life as an adult. And that means taking responsibility for your own decisions, whatever they may be. The only person you have to blame for investing your money with Bernie Madoff is YOU. You made that choice. It may have been recommended by a friend, or ok'ed by your finance advisor, and agreed on with your husband - but at the end of day only one person is responsible for your actions. And that is you.
I am definitely not the market for this book. I think it's been miscategorized as a 'money' book, when this is in actually a self-help book specifically focusing on addiction and recovery.
And, in the end, I think that is what bothered me most about this book. The fact that Roth still blames her parents on her ridiculous views of money and food. Get over it. And grow up.
August 18, 2019
Another excellent book from Geneen Roth. In this one, she even notes that much of the stuff in her books she’s just saying over and over in different ways, but that it seems to help people. This one was really excellent. I listened to it on audio. It was basically a free therapy-lecture.
My favorite quotes:
“What or where is enough? ..... Enough can’t be out there. Enough cannot be in something we can touch or buy or have—like money or a thin body or UGG boots. Enough isn’t an amount. It’s a relationship to what you already have.”
Disc 4, track 9
Her principles for handling money, today:
“Remind myself that the way I see things is not the way they are.
Secure my basic needs first.
Invest only in what I understand.
Question those who act like they know what they are doing with money, because even supposedly savvy financial advisors are operating from a belief system that might not match mine. (This also means that I’m willing to appear money-dumb and frustrate other people who think they are being clear about something I can’t understand.)
Be curious about and be actively willing to deconstruct my beliefs about sufficiency, the need to have more, and what makes me happy.
Allow myself to have what I already have.
Take time with food, people, animals, clothes, trees, eyeglasses [or other purchases].
Make money real.
Connect what I spend with what I value.
Come out of hiding with Matt [husband]. Talk to him about every financial decision that I make and that we make together.
Come out of hiding, period. Not just about the deficiency and shame, but about the fullness and the moments of contentment as well.
Pay attention to what cannot be measured or counted. Do this many times a day.
When I think I’ve reached the end, begin again.”
Disc 5, track 10
My favorite quotes:
“What or where is enough? ..... Enough can’t be out there. Enough cannot be in something we can touch or buy or have—like money or a thin body or UGG boots. Enough isn’t an amount. It’s a relationship to what you already have.”
Disc 4, track 9
Her principles for handling money, today:
“Remind myself that the way I see things is not the way they are.
Secure my basic needs first.
Invest only in what I understand.
Question those who act like they know what they are doing with money, because even supposedly savvy financial advisors are operating from a belief system that might not match mine. (This also means that I’m willing to appear money-dumb and frustrate other people who think they are being clear about something I can’t understand.)
Be curious about and be actively willing to deconstruct my beliefs about sufficiency, the need to have more, and what makes me happy.
Allow myself to have what I already have.
Take time with food, people, animals, clothes, trees, eyeglasses [or other purchases].
Make money real.
Connect what I spend with what I value.
Come out of hiding with Matt [husband]. Talk to him about every financial decision that I make and that we make together.
Come out of hiding, period. Not just about the deficiency and shame, but about the fullness and the moments of contentment as well.
Pay attention to what cannot be measured or counted. Do this many times a day.
When I think I’ve reached the end, begin again.”
Disc 5, track 10
May 22, 2017
I picked this up at random for something to listen to on the commute between work and home. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I could not relate to it, since I'm not particularly materialistic, nor have I been in a position to make investments anywhere near the realm of 10K, much less the kind of money Roth is talking about. I began to find the description of the Madoff experience tedious & found myself zoning out entirely. This is unfortunate, because I would suddenly notice that maybe something useful had been said, but it was so sandwiched between repetitive conversational excerpts, I couldn’t possibly recall it. Chapters 3-10 (Disk 3 & on) actually develop the message and the concentration on Madoff is reduced. The gist seems to be that materialism will make you fat (i.e. ask yourself if you’re “fat on the inside”) or “what’s gone is not what matters,” or if you don’t care/know where your money goes [in investments], then you will have no control over it & probably will lose it. Personally I find this pretty frustrating advice, since a lot of money has never been a problem for me! While I listened to disks 3-5 there were thought-provoking moments & interesting points, but overall I can’t pinpoint what the advice is or what I can take away from this. 2.5* though I admit the possibility that the combination of format & location was all wrong for me.
July 13, 2017
It must be incredibly difficult to find out that you have been giving your money to a master at fraud and to fully face the loss of a million dollars to the most famous Ponzi scheme, much less to write about in in deep detail that exposes some excruciatingly personal revelations about yourself and your beliefs about money and self-worth. But that is what Geneen Roth does in this memoir/self-help book that really held my interest. She is sometimes hard to relate to as a person with some wealth who seems to be very comfortable shopping in high end retail establishments in NYC; I like finding deals in thrift stores and seldom pay full price for anything. Her willingness to explain the things she learned about herself and her relationship to money (Money is something she makes from work she loves and spends on things she does not need) is insightful and prompts the reader to consider these types of questions as well. The end of the book has a powerful message of empowerment for anyone to trade the feeling of being cowed by money management for the sense of curiosity about it. Her story has a happy financial ending although it is clear that the lessons learned seem to be as valuable as a return to solvency.
February 16, 2018
I have really enjoyed a lot of Roth's writing on food and addiction and using self insight to get to know your own wants and needs and motivations better and so to unearth destructive patterns. However I found this book to be repetitive and mostly a take of her own sorrow around her relationship with her parents and being suckered into investing her money with Bernie Madoff. If it had been published as a memoir it wouldn't have bothered me, but I also wouldn't have picked it up. It is not what it claims to be: full of insights about women and money, rather it is Roth trying to understand herself and presenting a few similar stories from her workshop students. I finally gave up in disgust on page 170 I think when she quotes a student who blames her money trouble on the fact that her father thought that their family was privileged by virtue of being white and therefore he should support disadvantaged minorities rather than give it all to his daughters. What a crazy concept! (note dripping sarcasm.) The lack of recognition of the real world and her own incredible privilege makes this book good reading for very few, probably just other bummed out Madoff investors.
April 1, 2022
Geneen Roth is a therapist who helps others with their struggle with food. Then she lost almost everything in the Bernie Madoff scandal. Lost and Found is her struggle with money and what she has learned about her relationship with money and her relationship with food. Roth is very honest about her history with food and money and her irrational thoughts and wants even when she lost everything. Roth also discusses some of her patients and their struggles to connect what she has learned in this time. There are some very interesting connections made with food and money and the way we put so much control on parts of our lives and are so out of control in others.
Roth's psychotherapy is focused on binge eating and other eating disorders, which is the majority of this work besides her and her husband's loss in the financial scandal. She also looks back in her own childhood and her relationship with her father and how that contributed to her relationship with food and money. It was interesting to listen to the author, who reads the audio version.
Roth's psychotherapy is focused on binge eating and other eating disorders, which is the majority of this work besides her and her husband's loss in the financial scandal. She also looks back in her own childhood and her relationship with her father and how that contributed to her relationship with food and money. It was interesting to listen to the author, who reads the audio version.
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