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Babyji
Sexy, surprising, and subversively wise, Babyji is the story of Anamika Sharma, a spirited student growing up in Delhi. At school she is an ace at quantum physics. At home she sneaks off to her parents’ scooter garage to read the Kamasutra. Before long she has seduced an elegant older divorcée and the family servant, and has caught the eye of a classmate coveted by all the boys.
With the world of adulthood dancing before her, Anamika confronts questions that would test someone twice her age. Ebullient, unfettered, and introducing one of the most charming heroines in contemporary fiction, Babyji is irresistible.
With the world of adulthood dancing before her, Anamika confronts questions that would test someone twice her age. Ebullient, unfettered, and introducing one of the most charming heroines in contemporary fiction, Babyji is irresistible.
356 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2005
38 people are currently reading
1496 people want to read
About the author
Abha Dawesar
14 books31 followersDawesar is a Harvard graduate who was awarded a New York Foundation of the Arts fiction fellowship. She currently lives in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 148 reviews
March 14, 2016
So I didn't actually review this novel.
Of what I remember from this book is a failed attempt at Lesbian romance, a pedophile romance, a pervert classmate and another pedophile man.
I didn't like this story because of the above reasons.
I give it a ".5" star.
Of what I remember from this book is a failed attempt at Lesbian romance, a pedophile romance, a pervert classmate and another pedophile man.
I didn't like this story because of the above reasons.
I give it a ".5" star.
March 15, 2020
Amazon’s AI algorithm recommendations are better than Goodreads, I think. Ever since I bought ‘Mohanaswamy,’ Amazon has been patiently advising me on all the other books I can read that are similar to that. Well, the result was that ‘Babyji’ popped up repeatedly, and I was intrigued enough to buy it.
‘Babyji’ was one bizarre journey. We have Anamika, a physics-loving 16-year-old whose sexual awakening forms the core of the book. Interesting enough. But her sexual escapades are so incredible and seemingly far-fetched that I was wondering if I have lived in a different society all this while. On the face of it, this seems like a strong ode to feminism. Yet, I found that I intensely disliked Anamika. She appears to be so charming that women and men and boys and girls all fall for her. She first has an affair with a divorcee with a five-year-old son, and then at the same time, pulls her maid who lived in the slum near her house into her embrace. Meanwhile, she finds that she can confide in her best friend’s father, who touches, leers, and kisses her, which she doesn’t mind. Also, she is intent on seducing a girl in her class. Phew. No wonder she is stressed. I would be too if I were living this lifestyle.
Meanwhile, Anamika reveals none of these “lovers” to the others - it’s non-ethical polygamy, in case you want to defend her as being polyamorous. She manipulates everyone around her and rapes the classmate she was keen on, goes through a period of remorse, before forgetting it all when that act of non-consensual violation is explained by the classmate as “I over-reacted.” What!? Huh? If all this is supposed to be feminist, then I would happily be not part of such feminism. I can understand Anamika’s self-centredness - most of today’s generation I meet are that - I can understand her confusions, weird philosophical rambles on the meaning of life, her drooling over teachers and their revealing necklines, her dumping her best friend, her then being drawn to a boy who had previously molested her - all of it. But I can’t condone violence to another human being.
‘Babyji’ was one bizarre journey. We have Anamika, a physics-loving 16-year-old whose sexual awakening forms the core of the book. Interesting enough. But her sexual escapades are so incredible and seemingly far-fetched that I was wondering if I have lived in a different society all this while. On the face of it, this seems like a strong ode to feminism. Yet, I found that I intensely disliked Anamika. She appears to be so charming that women and men and boys and girls all fall for her. She first has an affair with a divorcee with a five-year-old son, and then at the same time, pulls her maid who lived in the slum near her house into her embrace. Meanwhile, she finds that she can confide in her best friend’s father, who touches, leers, and kisses her, which she doesn’t mind. Also, she is intent on seducing a girl in her class. Phew. No wonder she is stressed. I would be too if I were living this lifestyle.
Meanwhile, Anamika reveals none of these “lovers” to the others - it’s non-ethical polygamy, in case you want to defend her as being polyamorous. She manipulates everyone around her and rapes the classmate she was keen on, goes through a period of remorse, before forgetting it all when that act of non-consensual violation is explained by the classmate as “I over-reacted.” What!? Huh? If all this is supposed to be feminist, then I would happily be not part of such feminism. I can understand Anamika’s self-centredness - most of today’s generation I meet are that - I can understand her confusions, weird philosophical rambles on the meaning of life, her drooling over teachers and their revealing necklines, her dumping her best friend, her then being drawn to a boy who had previously molested her - all of it. But I can’t condone violence to another human being.
May 8, 2014
This is the beautifully written and intriguing story of Anamika Sharma's sexual awakening. Anamika is in her final year at school, where she is Head Prefect, a position of honour and responsibility. She has passion for her studies, particularly physics, and draws analogies between her growing self-awareness and quantum physics.
India is the first of Anamika's loves. (I knew then that I would always be in her grip, because like my other India, the greater India, she had a hundred different moods.)
Despite her serious and studious demeanor, Anamika's confidence and determination makes her powerfully attractive, and she is not content with a single lover and is soon pursuing affairs and juggling lovers. (Adit had kissed me in the morning ... he too was now a node, a part of the asymmetric geometric figure that was no longer a love triangle but a pentagon.) But this is not a morality tale about the girl who tried to have it all and was left with nothing. This is the tale of Anamika maturing into an adult as she learns to take responsibility for her life.
The book is set against the backdrop of the Mandal Commission's recommendations in 1980 that proposed almost doubling the number of places at universities reserved for the lower castes. Anamika herself may be a brilliant student, but the competition for places was (and still is) fierce. (Delhi University has thirty-five thousand applicants for fifteen hundred seats.)
Caste is a recurring theme here, not least because Rani, another of Anamika's loves, is a lower-caste servant rescued by Anamika from an abusive husband. The treatment of women is another theme, explored even through Anamika's nature. She is a very boy-ish girl, both in appearance and in the roles she wishes to play. (I imagined Sheela as the young nymphet, and I thought of myself as the rough and sexy man who liked her. ... I wanted her to think of me as a mature, dependable, solid man. A Hindi film hero except with more intelligence, wisdom, and good sense, which those machos lacked.)
The book more or less starts with the declaration that Indians, myself included, must immediately place everyone we meet. ... There are categories for everything. But Anamika defies classification. Is she a lesbian? Bisexual? A bi-curious lesbian, perhaps. To label her is wrong, however. (Being gay is a Western construct. Indian sexuality is a spectrum, not binary.)
I love everything about this book. It's exotic, beautiful and brilliant.
India is the first of Anamika's loves. (I knew then that I would always be in her grip, because like my other India, the greater India, she had a hundred different moods.)
Despite her serious and studious demeanor, Anamika's confidence and determination makes her powerfully attractive, and she is not content with a single lover and is soon pursuing affairs and juggling lovers. (Adit had kissed me in the morning ... he too was now a node, a part of the asymmetric geometric figure that was no longer a love triangle but a pentagon.) But this is not a morality tale about the girl who tried to have it all and was left with nothing. This is the tale of Anamika maturing into an adult as she learns to take responsibility for her life.
The book is set against the backdrop of the Mandal Commission's recommendations in 1980 that proposed almost doubling the number of places at universities reserved for the lower castes. Anamika herself may be a brilliant student, but the competition for places was (and still is) fierce. (Delhi University has thirty-five thousand applicants for fifteen hundred seats.)
Caste is a recurring theme here, not least because Rani, another of Anamika's loves, is a lower-caste servant rescued by Anamika from an abusive husband. The treatment of women is another theme, explored even through Anamika's nature. She is a very boy-ish girl, both in appearance and in the roles she wishes to play. (I imagined Sheela as the young nymphet, and I thought of myself as the rough and sexy man who liked her. ... I wanted her to think of me as a mature, dependable, solid man. A Hindi film hero except with more intelligence, wisdom, and good sense, which those machos lacked.)
The book more or less starts with the declaration that Indians, myself included, must immediately place everyone we meet. ... There are categories for everything. But Anamika defies classification. Is she a lesbian? Bisexual? A bi-curious lesbian, perhaps. To label her is wrong, however. (Being gay is a Western construct. Indian sexuality is a spectrum, not binary.)
I love everything about this book. It's exotic, beautiful and brilliant.
August 29, 2014
Half a star!!
I might as well skip reviewing this, for I don't want to admit that I ever read this one. (But I won't, because we should speak of both best and worst). The worst book I've read till date! (IMO); the writing and the character is so surface-y, that you can easily skip through the Indian references just because they're so there-just-for-the-heck-of-it. Wow! I'm totally letting my emotions (disgust) get the best of me and making those grammatical errors.
So the protagonist is a physics enthusiast! (I wish the writer had done her research, and not annoyingly poetized physics; like not allegor-ized physics with how we feel! because dishonesty is the worst form of art. )
and, where exactly do these stories happen? Who talks like that?
Most importantly, what's the point of this book?
If it's about growing up and finding yourself; I never saw it happening! ALSO, IT'S NOT EVEN EROTIC!
haha, on the upside, this can inspire many others to write in a if-she-can-do-it-I-can-do-it-too-way; Wait! that's not good
I might as well skip reviewing this, for I don't want to admit that I ever read this one. (But I won't, because we should speak of both best and worst). The worst book I've read till date! (IMO); the writing and the character is so surface-y, that you can easily skip through the Indian references just because they're so there-just-for-the-heck-of-it. Wow! I'm totally letting my emotions (disgust) get the best of me and making those grammatical errors.
So the protagonist is a physics enthusiast! (I wish the writer had done her research, and not annoyingly poetized physics; like not allegor-ized physics with how we feel! because dishonesty is the worst form of art. )
and, where exactly do these stories happen? Who talks like that?
Most importantly, what's the point of this book?
If it's about growing up and finding yourself; I never saw it happening! ALSO, IT'S NOT EVEN EROTIC!
haha, on the upside, this can inspire many others to write in a if-she-can-do-it-I-can-do-it-too-way; Wait! that's not good
April 5, 2011
It's quite a feat on the part of the author that she managed to make a story about an Indian lesbian teenage Lothario pedestrian and boring.
April 13, 2020
TW: includes explicit rape, manipulation, abuse, casteism, statutory rape, and some really terrible writing.
How the FUCK did this win an award for best lesbian fiction
Fully judging all the pretentious intellectual fucks who put this on their listicles.
How the FUCK did this win an award for best lesbian fiction
Fully judging all the pretentious intellectual fucks who put this on their listicles.
October 17, 2022
Privileged and intelligent, Anamika is the head prefect of her elite school in New Delhi. She is treated as an adult by her teachers, and has a stable and loving family. She's also questioning everything about the society around her, and her sexuality is making itself known to her. Over the course of this novel, she embarks on three love affairs with other women, discovering herself and gaining self-confidence and self-knowledge. Sometimes a book is flawed, but I still enjoy it a lot, which is the case here: at times Dawesar's prose is clunky, particularly her dialogue, and her characters can feel flat. As well as that, the book is overpopulated, so too much happens and Dawesar doesn't give herself enough room to fully flesh out Anamika's reactions. But I love the daring of the novel: though it was published in 2005, its depictions of lesbian sexuality and of a teenager pushing the boundaries still feel surprising today, and I enjoy how flawed and sometimes even cruel Anamika can be. Dawesar shows that a character doesn't have to be likeable, and certainly not moral, to be fascinating. I was drawn to this book throughout and it felt like a breath of fresh air.
September 5, 2025
lunaire
January 9, 2020
Written in first person, past tense, this book seemed to deliberately take on the thought visuals as a teenager coming of age. Starting out with short sentences, it slowly evolved into something with an easier flow and steadier sentence structure as the main character came to terms with her changing perceptions.
This book deals with the undercurrent of happenings in Delhi in the 1980's, putting a sixteen year old girl in the middle of it all as she balances love affairs, studies, and her society's expectations of her future. Throughout the book, she seems undecided as to how achieve her goals, stating only that she has every intention of making money to become independent, but having no set path to follow. The narrative seems fixed on this even as her sexuality is explored, each love affair bringing to the surface a different need that the protagonist tries to understand by the laws of physics.
Spirituality is also touched on in this book, reducing it to atoms and protons in a way that a teenager trying to make sense of everything would understand. The caste system, the way India works with connections like a web, how each thought is joined by another is what manages to weave the story together- unlike most books, this one focuses on the desire to gain knowledge about people in general, and how each person can either hinder or help the protagonist to move forward in both sexual and career education.
Although steeped in lust, the book does not dwindle on sex, but rather the meanings behind it, and how love can shift and shape within different moments. The ending leaves you grappling for more, however, trying to piece things together by yourself after wondering whether that was really the end. Perhaps the abrupt ending lent to the narrative of the book, but it did nothing to answer a few unanswered questions that still lingered regardless.
A good read for those who would not mind bouncing along with the protagonist as she tries to answer the questions of life through mathematics and physics. This book does contain a few thinking points that will surely stick long after you've put the book down.
This book deals with the undercurrent of happenings in Delhi in the 1980's, putting a sixteen year old girl in the middle of it all as she balances love affairs, studies, and her society's expectations of her future. Throughout the book, she seems undecided as to how achieve her goals, stating only that she has every intention of making money to become independent, but having no set path to follow. The narrative seems fixed on this even as her sexuality is explored, each love affair bringing to the surface a different need that the protagonist tries to understand by the laws of physics.
Spirituality is also touched on in this book, reducing it to atoms and protons in a way that a teenager trying to make sense of everything would understand. The caste system, the way India works with connections like a web, how each thought is joined by another is what manages to weave the story together- unlike most books, this one focuses on the desire to gain knowledge about people in general, and how each person can either hinder or help the protagonist to move forward in both sexual and career education.
Although steeped in lust, the book does not dwindle on sex, but rather the meanings behind it, and how love can shift and shape within different moments. The ending leaves you grappling for more, however, trying to piece things together by yourself after wondering whether that was really the end. Perhaps the abrupt ending lent to the narrative of the book, but it did nothing to answer a few unanswered questions that still lingered regardless.
A good read for those who would not mind bouncing along with the protagonist as she tries to answer the questions of life through mathematics and physics. This book does contain a few thinking points that will surely stick long after you've put the book down.
September 8, 2021
"One ends up doing things one never expected to do"
True.
For me, this book is one complex book which talk about physics a lot lol. If you want a relaxed and peaceful book, then this book is not for you.
In short, this book is about 16 years old girl, Anamika who top other students in her whole school which also the head prefect of the school. One day, she realized one of her classmate seems to appears progressively matured in appearance, and she feel challenged to be better than him in term of adulting. So, she started to have an affair with 3 different generation of women, all with different background.
Honestly, for me that was absurd lol but then, she is only 16 and I try to understand how hard it is being 16 with raging desire, lack in experience to weighs pro and con of everything.
Aside from the absurd affairs, I think everything else are fine. I love how this book tells us about Indian culture, mentality, lifestyle, differences of caste and beliefs. It feels like a quick travel to Delhi, India for me.
I think this book also left a lot for us to think. Even the ending seems to be too sudden, I thought it wasn't the ending. So if you are a thinker with understanding heart, I recommend this book for you.
True.
For me, this book is one complex book which talk about physics a lot lol. If you want a relaxed and peaceful book, then this book is not for you.
In short, this book is about 16 years old girl, Anamika who top other students in her whole school which also the head prefect of the school. One day, she realized one of her classmate seems to appears progressively matured in appearance, and she feel challenged to be better than him in term of adulting. So, she started to have an affair with 3 different generation of women, all with different background.
Honestly, for me that was absurd lol but then, she is only 16 and I try to understand how hard it is being 16 with raging desire, lack in experience to weighs pro and con of everything.
Aside from the absurd affairs, I think everything else are fine. I love how this book tells us about Indian culture, mentality, lifestyle, differences of caste and beliefs. It feels like a quick travel to Delhi, India for me.
I think this book also left a lot for us to think. Even the ending seems to be too sudden, I thought it wasn't the ending. So if you are a thinker with understanding heart, I recommend this book for you.
September 22, 2009
Intense, funny (sometimes laugh-out-loud funny), even a little harrowing at times. What an amazing novel about a sixteen-year-old girl who has affairs with a girl in her class, her maid, and a woman her parents' age. This is not a book most American publishers would accept! And it's not something that could be written by an American in the U.S.--this is very much an Indian story, and probably even specifically a New Delhi story. Dawesar is a talented and brave writer to tackle some quite controversial themes. Even I found my eyebrows rising a bit while reading the narrator's thoughts about life and love and sex. But she was also naive at some moments, tender at others, headstrong and very adolescent at still others. And I found the portrayal of her mix of awareness and ignorance about class and caste privileges convincing. I appreciated that the author didn't try to make the narrator become an unlikely champion of poor people's rights and yet also showed her beginning to question the givens of her society. Overall, a very impressive book.
April 2, 2020
The old ones the book which I read years ago, so don't remember much about it but just that it's a story of a girl who is something something something.
People who don't read generally ask me my reasons for reading. Simply put I just love reading and so to that end I have made it my motto to just Keep on Reading. I love to read everything except for Self Help books but even those once in a while. I read almost all the genre but YA, Fantasy, Biographies are the most. My favorite series is, of course, Harry Potter but then there are many more books that I just adore. I have bookcases filled with books which are waiting to be read so can't stay and spend more time in this review, so remember I loved reading this and love reading more, you should also read what you love and then just Keep on Reading.
People who don't read generally ask me my reasons for reading. Simply put I just love reading and so to that end I have made it my motto to just Keep on Reading. I love to read everything except for Self Help books but even those once in a while. I read almost all the genre but YA, Fantasy, Biographies are the most. My favorite series is, of course, Harry Potter but then there are many more books that I just adore. I have bookcases filled with books which are waiting to be read so can't stay and spend more time in this review, so remember I loved reading this and love reading more, you should also read what you love and then just Keep on Reading.
Read
April 6, 2011This is not a good book. It has no character development, no forward movement for our protagonist, and no point to the story. In fact, there's no plot - all the conflicts that come up are resolved within pages. The main character is a 'Mary Sue', clever enough to get through every problem, and everything turns up roses for her. She's also cruel, manipulative, and severely self-absorbed.
All these are serious flaws in the story. And yet... I enjoyed it. These are problems I'd usually notice. My excuse is that I was very ill with a serious flu at the time. So, to sum it all up, this is not a good book. But it's a fast, easy read. Great for days you can't think hard. Junk-food literature.
All these are serious flaws in the story. And yet... I enjoyed it. These are problems I'd usually notice. My excuse is that I was very ill with a serious flu at the time. So, to sum it all up, this is not a good book. But it's a fast, easy read. Great for days you can't think hard. Junk-food literature.
February 21, 2013
Great writing! This is a very honest and true account of the 16-year-old mind, but it goes beyond that to the complexities of self discovery amidst the search for meaning in a world filled with inequalities. The ability to connect this to physics and chemistry just heightens the experience.
My only criticism is the very end. From a literary standpoint, I get it. I see the larger picture and I see how everything that has been built-up fits into all the final events. Yet, emotionally, I felt dissatisfied. The story is so wonderfully intense for the entire length of the novel and the ending just doesn't have the final release I had been expecting. I get it, I just didn't like it.
My only criticism is the very end. From a literary standpoint, I get it. I see the larger picture and I see how everything that has been built-up fits into all the final events. Yet, emotionally, I felt dissatisfied. The story is so wonderfully intense for the entire length of the novel and the ending just doesn't have the final release I had been expecting. I get it, I just didn't like it.
June 11, 2007
Friends of mine love this book. I do not. It had a little too much cynicism, a little too much bending of moral fiber, as if sleeping with women dismantles all of a girl's discernment between right and wrong...or maybe I just didn't like Babyji's adolescence. A kind of Catcher in the Rye goes to India, you have to love a grouchy protagonist; unlike Holden Caufield, she lacks the charm to go with the griping.
June 7, 2011
As an Indian who has grown up in a city much like Delhi, I think this book is highly unrealistic. I won't even begin to list out the deep disappointments with character and plot development. I can just point out that my dislike of this book stems from absolute non-conformity with real life and the author has taken way too many liberties with descriptions of Indian city life and family and school. Don't market this as an Indian story - it isn't.
May 16, 2015
Babyji is like a contemporary - and Indian - Lolita. It's subversive and a thoroughly enjoyable read. Abha Dawesar's ability to balance themes such as sexuality and the philosophy of physics keeps the reader engaged and provides many though-provoking points to either discuss or mull over.
Don't be put off by the cover (which makes the book look a bit smutty or at the very least one-dimensional). Babyji is a worthy piece of literature with many facets to unpack. Read it!
Don't be put off by the cover (which makes the book look a bit smutty or at the very least one-dimensional). Babyji is a worthy piece of literature with many facets to unpack. Read it!
April 12, 2008
Daring, sensual coming-of-age story of a teenage lesbian "Humbert Humbert" in Delhi--not a very sympathetic character but an intriguing, unusual novel b/c of the daring plot.
April 7, 2011
A sixteen-year-old lesbian with antisocial personality disorder takes Delhi by storm in this somewhat titillating, somewhat nonsensical novel.
December 27, 2014
Questo libro non mi è piaciuto. Forse a causa della mia mentalità occidentale, lontanissima da quella indiana, forse perchè la storia mi è sembrata un pò insulsa, non mi ha mai preso.
October 28, 2023
My Rating:
Writing: 4 stars
Characters: 2 Stars
Plot: 3 Stars
Originality: 4 Stars
My Personal Enjoyment: 2 Stars
(All Out of 5 Stars)
Total: 3 Stars
The Storyline:
Anamika is a young Indian girl growing up in the 80s who without much sexual education has to discover what it means to be a lesbian. She goes and has affairs with multiple women to try and find a new adult meaning to herself.
My Review:
Quick warnings for my review. I will be talking about rape and molestation scenes in the book and will not be filtering spoilers. After this point, there will be spoilers. You have been warned! Babyjii was certainly an interesting read if nothing else. I really enjoyed the writing style. The scenes were described in amazing detail making the motion of the characters easy to follow. The story is told from Anamika’s point of view and is done in such a marvelous way. Her thoughts feel real like a naive, prideful teen would think if put in her situation. In addition, I haven’t seen many other books that feature gay characters not only in the 80s but in India. I enjoyed reading this point of view from the gay community.
“‘I thought you were normal,’ he said. ‘Fuck off with your normalcy,’ I said, getting irritated. He wasn’t going to sit around in my house telling me I wasn’t normal. No one was going to accuse me of being abnormal. Though abnormal I was…”
Anamika is the most frustrating main character I have ever read. For a lack of better words, she is an asshole. She’s prideful about everything in her life and brags constantly to her classmates about both her sexual ventures and her status and first rank in the school. Even her thoughts constantly paint her as better than everyone around her deeming herself as “mature”. By far the most irritating part about Anamika is how she treats her lovers specifically Sheela and Rani. Let’s start with Rani, a servant for Anamika’s family who is a lower class than her and can not read or write English. She is treated as a pet by Anamika, and she fully uses all the power she has to pressure Rani to stay with her and to sleep with her. Anamika tries to teach her English which I think was supposed to come across as a kind act instead felt more like how a stranger would treat a child with an, “Oh that’s nice dear.”. Anamika also rapes Sheela. And Sheela forgives her! It’s not really acknowledged how Sheela feels about it afterward, in fact, Sheela even comforts Anamika because she feels bad about it. This led me to my next complaint, that the ending was unsatisfying, I wanted Anamika to get consequences for her actions, and that just didn’t happen. She lives happily ever after and for this story that was not enough there were too many loose ends not tied up.
“I wasn’t culpable for rape. I had just pushed her into doing something faster than she had wanted to.”
So overall, I would give Babyji by Abha Dawesar a 3 out of 5 stars, while the concept was unique and the writing was great it was hard for me to push past the frustrating main character.
“Was this how women loved? Like slaves? Devotees? No wonder men took them for granted.”
So who would I recommend Babyji to? A very slim amount of people. Overall I didn’t personally enjoy it. If you are curious about Queer culture in India maybe I would mention it but in most cases, I would say skip it.
Writing: 4 stars
Characters: 2 Stars
Plot: 3 Stars
Originality: 4 Stars
My Personal Enjoyment: 2 Stars
(All Out of 5 Stars)
Total: 3 Stars
The Storyline:
Anamika is a young Indian girl growing up in the 80s who without much sexual education has to discover what it means to be a lesbian. She goes and has affairs with multiple women to try and find a new adult meaning to herself.
My Review:
Quick warnings for my review. I will be talking about rape and molestation scenes in the book and will not be filtering spoilers. After this point, there will be spoilers. You have been warned! Babyjii was certainly an interesting read if nothing else. I really enjoyed the writing style. The scenes were described in amazing detail making the motion of the characters easy to follow. The story is told from Anamika’s point of view and is done in such a marvelous way. Her thoughts feel real like a naive, prideful teen would think if put in her situation. In addition, I haven’t seen many other books that feature gay characters not only in the 80s but in India. I enjoyed reading this point of view from the gay community.
“‘I thought you were normal,’ he said. ‘Fuck off with your normalcy,’ I said, getting irritated. He wasn’t going to sit around in my house telling me I wasn’t normal. No one was going to accuse me of being abnormal. Though abnormal I was…”
Anamika is the most frustrating main character I have ever read. For a lack of better words, she is an asshole. She’s prideful about everything in her life and brags constantly to her classmates about both her sexual ventures and her status and first rank in the school. Even her thoughts constantly paint her as better than everyone around her deeming herself as “mature”. By far the most irritating part about Anamika is how she treats her lovers specifically Sheela and Rani. Let’s start with Rani, a servant for Anamika’s family who is a lower class than her and can not read or write English. She is treated as a pet by Anamika, and she fully uses all the power she has to pressure Rani to stay with her and to sleep with her. Anamika tries to teach her English which I think was supposed to come across as a kind act instead felt more like how a stranger would treat a child with an, “Oh that’s nice dear.”. Anamika also rapes Sheela. And Sheela forgives her! It’s not really acknowledged how Sheela feels about it afterward, in fact, Sheela even comforts Anamika because she feels bad about it. This led me to my next complaint, that the ending was unsatisfying, I wanted Anamika to get consequences for her actions, and that just didn’t happen. She lives happily ever after and for this story that was not enough there were too many loose ends not tied up.
“I wasn’t culpable for rape. I had just pushed her into doing something faster than she had wanted to.”
So overall, I would give Babyji by Abha Dawesar a 3 out of 5 stars, while the concept was unique and the writing was great it was hard for me to push past the frustrating main character.
“Was this how women loved? Like slaves? Devotees? No wonder men took them for granted.”
So who would I recommend Babyji to? A very slim amount of people. Overall I didn’t personally enjoy it. If you are curious about Queer culture in India maybe I would mention it but in most cases, I would say skip it.
October 15, 2018
This is the first book I rated only 1 star in 2018. The author tried to give a new and modern image of the youth in Dehli, but she destroyed her own novel from a literature perspective and from a judicial/legal point of view. The story follows the 16 years old teenager girl, Anamika, during her last year of high school.
From a literature perspective, the story had 2 major flaws:
- A creative/original story still needs to be credible or realistic in the eyes of readers. Right from the beguinning, the author introduces us to the leading character, a serious and intelligent high school student with no prior romantic or sex relationship, but somehow suddenly she takes the initiative and lead to enter not in 1, not 2, but 3 different relationships within a couple weeks???!!!! That's hard to believe!!! So from the start, as a reader I was very cautious about this story and where it is leading. Another non realistic scene later in the story is when the conservative and protective parents of Anamika allows her to travel outside Dehli for a few days with 3 adults, 2 of them they had never met and 1 they had met only twice and has no personnal/professional/academic relationship with them. That's also extremely difficult to believe!!!???
- Neither the leading characters no the secondary characters are developed. We never read why Anamika needed to enter suddenly in one or 3 different romantic relationships at that period of her life. What did she find in one relationship she didn't find in the second or third one. The questions of why are never brought up by the author. The secondary characters are only present in the presence of the leading character and are never independent character on their own, thus they're not developed either.
Finally, from the judicial/legal point of view, the author committed the biggest flaw and mistake I've ever read in any book during my entire life:
- The leading character, Anamika, entered in 3 different Lesbian relationship, but 2 of them are with adults, thus it is a pedophile crime being committed. The author assumes that because it is she who took the initiative and she likes to be treated as an adult, that readers will see this story as a Lesbian story and not as a pedophile crime being committed. She was wrong to believe that. Unfortunately, these 2 pedophile crimes continued throughout the entire novel and the author never made Anamika realize she was a victim of pedophile crime nor got the 2 offendors arrested.
If the author had deleted all the pedophile scenes from the story, if she had focused her attention to the Lesbian story between Anamika and her classmate Sheela, and if she had developed all the characters, this novel would have been a good youth novel.
If you're a lawyer, a judge, or any member of the law enforcement, I'd like to have your opinion on this disturbing novel. I don't understand how this book was published in the first place.
From a literature perspective, the story had 2 major flaws:
- A creative/original story still needs to be credible or realistic in the eyes of readers. Right from the beguinning, the author introduces us to the leading character, a serious and intelligent high school student with no prior romantic or sex relationship, but somehow suddenly she takes the initiative and lead to enter not in 1, not 2, but 3 different relationships within a couple weeks???!!!! That's hard to believe!!! So from the start, as a reader I was very cautious about this story and where it is leading. Another non realistic scene later in the story is when the conservative and protective parents of Anamika allows her to travel outside Dehli for a few days with 3 adults, 2 of them they had never met and 1 they had met only twice and has no personnal/professional/academic relationship with them. That's also extremely difficult to believe!!!???
- Neither the leading characters no the secondary characters are developed. We never read why Anamika needed to enter suddenly in one or 3 different romantic relationships at that period of her life. What did she find in one relationship she didn't find in the second or third one. The questions of why are never brought up by the author. The secondary characters are only present in the presence of the leading character and are never independent character on their own, thus they're not developed either.
Finally, from the judicial/legal point of view, the author committed the biggest flaw and mistake I've ever read in any book during my entire life:
- The leading character, Anamika, entered in 3 different Lesbian relationship, but 2 of them are with adults, thus it is a pedophile crime being committed. The author assumes that because it is she who took the initiative and she likes to be treated as an adult, that readers will see this story as a Lesbian story and not as a pedophile crime being committed. She was wrong to believe that. Unfortunately, these 2 pedophile crimes continued throughout the entire novel and the author never made Anamika realize she was a victim of pedophile crime nor got the 2 offendors arrested.
If the author had deleted all the pedophile scenes from the story, if she had focused her attention to the Lesbian story between Anamika and her classmate Sheela, and if she had developed all the characters, this novel would have been a good youth novel.
If you're a lawyer, a judge, or any member of the law enforcement, I'd like to have your opinion on this disturbing novel. I don't understand how this book was published in the first place.
September 25, 2023
In short, a truly revelatory look at lesbian desire within 1980s India, with “queer desire” also being used as a proxy for any kind of desire for that which could not be accessed in India at the time — ie, casteless thinking, broad job prospects, etc.
I want to be clear that I don’t think revelatory is synonymous with good — it is true that this book covers ground that, despite having a generally strong grasp on the queer canon, I have never seen before. The desires spelled out within our sixteen year old protagonist are rarely depicted — these are desires of possession, violence, sexual ownership that I haven’t seen portrayed. Beyond the queer aspects, there are aspects of Indian history that are truly interesting — the mandal commission, the experience of growing up within the brain drain that permeated India for decades.
That being said, while the feelings explored in this book are genuine and new, I walked away with little. This book took me a whole month to finish, I think because once the book covers its main points — again, a true desire for other woman rarely portrayed in literature — it doesn’t have much to achieve. There is no real coming of age — truly, imagine if the bell jar was narrated by Humbert Humbert, and didn’t end with a changed mindset. This book, to me, is a collection of the occasionally unpleasant feelings of a self proclaimed predator who does not end the novel changed in any significant way from how she started.
I want to be very clear that the unpleasant feelings are not simply just of queer desire, but of queer violence and ownership — this is a character who at one point rapes one of her friends, and at no point really regrets that choice. It’s complicated, because the point of the novel is to explore the breed of Indian teenagers who grew up knowing their desires — to escape the caste system, escape Indian sameness of thought and desire — were fundamentally incongruent with their location. Therefore, It can feel foolish to expect our protagonist to change, because the novel’s primary argument is that it is india who needs to change, rather than her. That being said, the novel is threaded with the arrogance and one note nature of such a thought process. This isn’t a buildungsroman — it’s a character study that overstays its welcome. Which is a real shame, because the character is genuinely a necessary addition to a canon that all too often ignores the experiences of non western queer people.
All in all, there are genuinely very interesting things to say about how Indian culture in the 80s would mold ideations of queerness. I’m glad this book exists, and that I read it. That being said, it would all work better as a novella, and if the reader doesn’t come into the process expecting the kind of broad human analysis that many queer novels have.
I want to be clear that I don’t think revelatory is synonymous with good — it is true that this book covers ground that, despite having a generally strong grasp on the queer canon, I have never seen before. The desires spelled out within our sixteen year old protagonist are rarely depicted — these are desires of possession, violence, sexual ownership that I haven’t seen portrayed. Beyond the queer aspects, there are aspects of Indian history that are truly interesting — the mandal commission, the experience of growing up within the brain drain that permeated India for decades.
That being said, while the feelings explored in this book are genuine and new, I walked away with little. This book took me a whole month to finish, I think because once the book covers its main points — again, a true desire for other woman rarely portrayed in literature — it doesn’t have much to achieve. There is no real coming of age — truly, imagine if the bell jar was narrated by Humbert Humbert, and didn’t end with a changed mindset. This book, to me, is a collection of the occasionally unpleasant feelings of a self proclaimed predator who does not end the novel changed in any significant way from how she started.
I want to be very clear that the unpleasant feelings are not simply just of queer desire, but of queer violence and ownership — this is a character who at one point rapes one of her friends, and at no point really regrets that choice. It’s complicated, because the point of the novel is to explore the breed of Indian teenagers who grew up knowing their desires — to escape the caste system, escape Indian sameness of thought and desire — were fundamentally incongruent with their location. Therefore, It can feel foolish to expect our protagonist to change, because the novel’s primary argument is that it is india who needs to change, rather than her. That being said, the novel is threaded with the arrogance and one note nature of such a thought process. This isn’t a buildungsroman — it’s a character study that overstays its welcome. Which is a real shame, because the character is genuinely a necessary addition to a canon that all too often ignores the experiences of non western queer people.
All in all, there are genuinely very interesting things to say about how Indian culture in the 80s would mold ideations of queerness. I’m glad this book exists, and that I read it. That being said, it would all work better as a novella, and if the reader doesn’t come into the process expecting the kind of broad human analysis that many queer novels have.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 9, 2024
i had SO many issues with this book, but in the end, its biggest crime was being boring. the only reason i didn't dnf it was bc i started losing interest at around the 50% mark, and i felt like i had invested too much time already, so i had to see it through. otherwise, i was actually falling asleep towards the end.
first off, this book is not a romance or sexy. it had like a few weird awkward smut scenes, and they really weren't even fun, since most of them were uncomfortably noncon. most of this book is mundane unnecessary details ab this character that i don't care ab. this book doesn't deserve a cover like this. the romances were awkward and underdeveloped.
my second issue is of course, the pedophilia and rape, and the excusing or justification of the same. the mc has "affairs" with multiple older people and it is never addressed or painted in a bad light, and just excused in the way of her being "mature for her age". she also actually rapes two of her "lovers", in scenes that were so hard to read, and then justifies her own actions in her narration in various ways, leaving me baffled. there is an older uncle gifting her a copy of lolita in this book, and of course he creeps around like a general pedo all throughout the story and it is never addressed. i feel strongly that this is a very harmful book for the sole reason that the problematic actions are never portrayed as problematic.
third, there are also some uncomfortable conversations about class and caste, and a weird underlying tone regarding the same that clearly depicted the author's own views and made me uncomfortable.
lastly, and the biggest issue for me is the book as a book itself. this is SO poorly written that i just cannot believe it won awards. it reads like an incomprehensible diary of a teenager, with no clear overarching plot or message, with incredibly simplistic awkward writing, and feels like the author wrote the first 30%, left the book for a while and came back to write a completely different book. by the end plots i had completely forgotten how the book started and the plots it thought important in the beginning had no bearing on the end. the book felt like an unedited stream of consciousness with unnecessary boring details with random physics metaphors thrown in that the author definitely thought were profound. the matters that should've been of importance were not given any and simply glossed over. and OH MY GOD IT WAS SO BORING.
the ending itself was so abrupt that i literally just sat there like "that's it?" it did not feel like an ending, but more like an end of a diary entry to go straight into the next.
overall, i have no idea what the author meant to depict or convey with this, other than justifying pedophilia and rape. and that really is not smth i enjoy, surprisingly
HOW tf did this ever win any awards ...
first off, this book is not a romance or sexy. it had like a few weird awkward smut scenes, and they really weren't even fun, since most of them were uncomfortably noncon. most of this book is mundane unnecessary details ab this character that i don't care ab. this book doesn't deserve a cover like this. the romances were awkward and underdeveloped.
my second issue is of course, the pedophilia and rape, and the excusing or justification of the same. the mc has "affairs" with multiple older people and it is never addressed or painted in a bad light, and just excused in the way of her being "mature for her age". she also actually rapes two of her "lovers", in scenes that were so hard to read, and then justifies her own actions in her narration in various ways, leaving me baffled. there is an older uncle gifting her a copy of lolita in this book, and of course he creeps around like a general pedo all throughout the story and it is never addressed. i feel strongly that this is a very harmful book for the sole reason that the problematic actions are never portrayed as problematic.
third, there are also some uncomfortable conversations about class and caste, and a weird underlying tone regarding the same that clearly depicted the author's own views and made me uncomfortable.
lastly, and the biggest issue for me is the book as a book itself. this is SO poorly written that i just cannot believe it won awards. it reads like an incomprehensible diary of a teenager, with no clear overarching plot or message, with incredibly simplistic awkward writing, and feels like the author wrote the first 30%, left the book for a while and came back to write a completely different book. by the end plots i had completely forgotten how the book started and the plots it thought important in the beginning had no bearing on the end. the book felt like an unedited stream of consciousness with unnecessary boring details with random physics metaphors thrown in that the author definitely thought were profound. the matters that should've been of importance were not given any and simply glossed over. and OH MY GOD IT WAS SO BORING.
the ending itself was so abrupt that i literally just sat there like "that's it?" it did not feel like an ending, but more like an end of a diary entry to go straight into the next.
overall, i have no idea what the author meant to depict or convey with this, other than justifying pedophilia and rape. and that really is not smth i enjoy, surprisingly
HOW tf did this ever win any awards ...
September 17, 2021
Babyji is the story of a high school girl in India, and how she discovers her own sexuality and what it means to grow up. Written by Abha Dawesar and published in 2005, though it takes place in the 1990s - this story features protagonist Anamika. She’s the school’s head prefect, enjoys physics, and has something of a plan for her future. That changes when she starts up an affair with a divorceé who is trying to get her five year old son into the same school Anamika goes to.
Over the course of the story, this isn’t the only person Anamika starts up a romance with. She also pulls her new servant, Rani, and a classmate of hers named Sheela. And then her best friend’s father starts flirting with her as well, creating a series of romances that comes so easily that the person I borrowed this from confessed that when she read it as a teenager, it gave her some unrealistic expectations about how difficult it is to start a relationship.
Though there is potential here for the story to have gone in depth with philosophy that Anamika keeps thinking about, and with the interesting characters from different walks of life she encounters and has affairs with. Enjoyable parts of the book come from Anamika discussing things she thinks with the people around her. Learning what it means to live, and love. Thinking about math, and physics - school stuff.
In the end, however, if this were published today it would probably be eaten alive.
It features a cheating protagonist who has an inability to respect other people’s boundaries, to the point of raping both her classmate and her servant - though only the classmate is taken seriously because the girl was honest with Anamika about how wrong it was, only to make sure to take it back later. It doesn’t have much else to substantiate it, little to no plot that becomes as repetitive as actual day to day life as a teenager, with a rushed ending that doesn’t attempt to answer any of the questions that it proposes. It even attempts to try and reach a climax with a side plot about a character who physically assaults Anamika, but doesn’t have a real resolution.
Given the older reviews for Babyji, this was a good read for its time which should be respected, but it’s a fortunate thing that we’ve moved past this looking at it from a 2021 lens.
Over the course of the story, this isn’t the only person Anamika starts up a romance with. She also pulls her new servant, Rani, and a classmate of hers named Sheela. And then her best friend’s father starts flirting with her as well, creating a series of romances that comes so easily that the person I borrowed this from confessed that when she read it as a teenager, it gave her some unrealistic expectations about how difficult it is to start a relationship.
Though there is potential here for the story to have gone in depth with philosophy that Anamika keeps thinking about, and with the interesting characters from different walks of life she encounters and has affairs with. Enjoyable parts of the book come from Anamika discussing things she thinks with the people around her. Learning what it means to live, and love. Thinking about math, and physics - school stuff.
In the end, however, if this were published today it would probably be eaten alive.
It features a cheating protagonist who has an inability to respect other people’s boundaries, to the point of raping both her classmate and her servant - though only the classmate is taken seriously because the girl was honest with Anamika about how wrong it was, only to make sure to take it back later. It doesn’t have much else to substantiate it, little to no plot that becomes as repetitive as actual day to day life as a teenager, with a rushed ending that doesn’t attempt to answer any of the questions that it proposes. It even attempts to try and reach a climax with a side plot about a character who physically assaults Anamika, but doesn’t have a real resolution.
Given the older reviews for Babyji, this was a good read for its time which should be respected, but it’s a fortunate thing that we’ve moved past this looking at it from a 2021 lens.
May 4, 2019
“Watching Rani in motion was like listening to one's favorite song. It was like watching India's hair uncoil from a bun or seeing a photograph of the sun rising over the Ganges in Benares. It was beautiful and sacred. I wanted my life to be filled with these moments."
.
Have you ever come across a book which is not dull even for a moment, exciting, subversive and very quirky, all in one? If not, then you need to pick up 'Babyji'. If yes, tell me which one was it and still pick up 'Babyji'. If you have not read lesbian narratives before this should be the book you should pick up to delve into the genre. It debunks so many pre-conceived notions without being preachy. One thing which I'm definitely sure about after reading it is that sexual orientation is not a choice,it's innate.
This book is about Anamika Sharma a 16 y.o, her sexual discovery and conquests, a teenager who is way smarter than what I am at 23. She is the girl who gets the best grades at school,loves quantum physics and understands complex Indian politics and caste system at that tender age but her personal or I should say her love life is pretty screwed up but she deals with it, her way. She has two simultaneous love affairs and still begins serious flirtations with three other people. Not being gender-specific, no spoilers!😂 If only, I had half the courage and brains as this girl! She is my new favorite bookish character.
Anamika is someone you will relate with, hate at times and love at others but she is someone you cannot ignore. There is alot to take home from this book, especially about lesbianism and queers. The idea that homosexuality is a disease really needs to be done away with because its not. Also, we really need to stop calling it alternate sexuality and making the LGBTQ+ feel like they are a minority. The book establishes the idea that lesbian existence is not just a way to defy patriarchy but just a woman loving another woman.
.
Have you ever come across a book which is not dull even for a moment, exciting, subversive and very quirky, all in one? If not, then you need to pick up 'Babyji'. If yes, tell me which one was it and still pick up 'Babyji'. If you have not read lesbian narratives before this should be the book you should pick up to delve into the genre. It debunks so many pre-conceived notions without being preachy. One thing which I'm definitely sure about after reading it is that sexual orientation is not a choice,it's innate.
This book is about Anamika Sharma a 16 y.o, her sexual discovery and conquests, a teenager who is way smarter than what I am at 23. She is the girl who gets the best grades at school,loves quantum physics and understands complex Indian politics and caste system at that tender age but her personal or I should say her love life is pretty screwed up but she deals with it, her way. She has two simultaneous love affairs and still begins serious flirtations with three other people. Not being gender-specific, no spoilers!😂 If only, I had half the courage and brains as this girl! She is my new favorite bookish character.
Anamika is someone you will relate with, hate at times and love at others but she is someone you cannot ignore. There is alot to take home from this book, especially about lesbianism and queers. The idea that homosexuality is a disease really needs to be done away with because its not. Also, we really need to stop calling it alternate sexuality and making the LGBTQ+ feel like they are a minority. The book establishes the idea that lesbian existence is not just a way to defy patriarchy but just a woman loving another woman.
June 6, 2018
I would have liked to give it one more star for Abha's guts. To write a novel about a bisexual teen girl is a bold step that a writer would take in a country like India.
Anamika is the lead of this story, she is best in her school, head prefect and liked by all teachers. She has some doubts about life like any her kid at her age but she also has done those things that are common at that age. Firstly she is attracted towards a lady of her mother's age and she calls her India because she feels same love for her that she feels for the country diversified yet beautiful. Then she is also in relationship with her maid Rani, who is also older than her and married. Then there is third girl, Anamika's classmate Sheela(who is crush of both her best friend Vidhur and her enemy Chakradev).
Then there comes Vidur's father Adit in the story whom Anamika likes at first but Adit's continuous flirtious behaviour with her annoys her.
Anamika also goes the phase where one needs to decide about career choices, life and she also desperately wants to be in relationships.
Now why I have given this novel 3 star instead of 4 because author has chosen a different subject but inspite of that the story fumbles, the content is not strong. It could have gone a little longer and told us what happens with the three lover and Anamika.
Anamika is the lead of this story, she is best in her school, head prefect and liked by all teachers. She has some doubts about life like any her kid at her age but she also has done those things that are common at that age. Firstly she is attracted towards a lady of her mother's age and she calls her India because she feels same love for her that she feels for the country diversified yet beautiful. Then she is also in relationship with her maid Rani, who is also older than her and married. Then there is third girl, Anamika's classmate Sheela(who is crush of both her best friend Vidhur and her enemy Chakradev).
Then there comes Vidur's father Adit in the story whom Anamika likes at first but Adit's continuous flirtious behaviour with her annoys her.
Anamika also goes the phase where one needs to decide about career choices, life and she also desperately wants to be in relationships.
Now why I have given this novel 3 star instead of 4 because author has chosen a different subject but inspite of that the story fumbles, the content is not strong. It could have gone a little longer and told us what happens with the three lover and Anamika.
June 25, 2021
This book was awfully disgusting, boring and problematic, therefore if I could I would have given it half a star. At first, I thought it would be a cute lesbian book but boy was I wrong. The plot was painfully bland and boring, we follow Anamika as she explores her sexuality in a very perverse manner. The book glamourizes grooming and rape, not to mention Anamika has relationships with adult women and thinks it's normal. In many instances, Anamika excuses these older women and begs them to use her for pleasure after they have told her what they're doing is wrong. (You would think she would be smarter as shes the head prefect of her school) However it doesn't stop there, she borderline rapes her friend and ignores her cries to stop. But oh no it doesn't stop there, her best friend's father is also grooming her and nearly sexually harasses her.
The writing itself is not bad, it's quite good considering this book is awful, if it weren't for the weird relationships within the plot this book would have gotten more stars.
I, in no way, do I recommend this book to anyone, especially if you get triggered by grooming.(Also the cover is weird. Feet? come on.)
The writing itself is not bad, it's quite good considering this book is awful, if it weren't for the weird relationships within the plot this book would have gotten more stars.
I, in no way, do I recommend this book to anyone, especially if you get triggered by grooming.(Also the cover is weird. Feet? come on.)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 17, 2019
Coming-of-age story set in Delhi. The teenage narrator navigates caste, class, gender and sexuality, and in theory these ingredients should make for a really interesting novel. In practice, though, the prose never rises much beyond awkward (potentially that's a deliberate reflection of the first-person narrator's thought processes, but that doesn't explain why the dialogue is also super clunky), Anamika/Babyji is a simultaneously and irritating spoiled brat and astonishingly attractive to everyone around her (including several women old enough to be her mother, and the father of her best friend), and the sexiness isn't particularly sexy. The love triangle (well, love hexagon, with Anamika at the centre) is kind of fun in a farcical sort of way, but it's hard to get past the fact that this is a 16-year-old girl and - however much the narrative wants to present Anamika as calling the shots - three of the people she's carrying on with are adults. Towards the end, I was just skimming for the sake of ticking it off my list.
May 31, 2018
I truly wanted to like this book, young lesbian in India embarks on a sexual extravaganza with 3 lovers, what's not to like? Unfortunately, I only made it about half-way through before it made me feel too gross to continue. Babyji reads less like a sapphic coming of age story and more like an all female version of Lolita. The main character Anamika, despite being 17, seduces multiple older women (including one who is probably twice her age). She has an uncomfortable sexual relationship with her household servant in which she alternates between adopting a savior mentality towards this women who comes from much lower means than she does, and being sexually violent towards her because she "cannot help it." Finally, Anamika decides she wants to sleep with a girl in her class, and blatantly punishes the girl when they are in a sensual position and the girl decides she isn't ready to have sex. I am glad Anamika is not a real person, and I am not interested in her as a fictional character.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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