Until I Saw You

Until I Saw You #1

by Dianna Roman

An MM romance story of survival, healing, and finding the courage to love. Harper Reid has no money and nowhere to go, but he can't spend one more day under the same roof as his abusive boyfriend. Desperate to start fresh, he takes on a special case through the caregiver agency that contracts him. The client has fired everyone else, but this job includes lodging, so Harper will find a way to make it work until he's back on his feet. High-flying, eccentric Riley Davenport has lost his sight, effectively clipping the vivacious man's wings. Learning to navigate in darkness is difficult enough without being treated like a house plant by his girlfriend, parents, and friends. The last thing he needs is another pushy caregiver, hovering over him, curtailing the last of his freedom. But Harper Reid is different...very different. Nervous, quiet, reserved. It's almost like Harper has secrets and is the one who needs to be taught how to live again. And why does he smell like sugar cookies? Men aren't supposed to smell delicious.

Content on-page physical altercation, adult language, off-page domestic abuse, explicit consensual sexual content, see inside preview for additional content advisory

You haven’t seen what Dianna Roman can do until you’ve read Until I Saw You. – Larissa, Love Bytes Reviews

Dianna Roman proves once again that she is the queen of MM romance that is
both emotional and hauntingly beautiful. – Amity Malcom, author of Beautiful Games

Have tissues but also be ready to laugh out loud! – Rhonda, Bookbub

Genres: M M Romance, Romance, Contemporary, Disability, LGBT, Abuse, Forced Proximity

244 pages, Paperback

First published January 24, 2023

About the author

Romcom author, Dianna Roman, believes in laughter, unsung heroes and heroines, chocolate, talking to yourself, hard work, and above all, love. 

She enjoys writing stories set in small and rural towns and about characters who don't have this thing called life quite figured out yet. 

Dianna lives in the woods where sunsets and gardening are the reason her house may be a bit messy.  

Reviews

[len ❀ · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I don’t need you. Not in the ways you think.” Turning his body toward me, he grips my hand. “I need you to be happy. I need you to laugh at me and with me. I need to know when you’re sad so I can hold you and cheer you up. And I need you to stop finishing the job that asshole started. You said the other day that you’ve got nothing to offer anyone. That’s him talking. That’s not what I think and not how you should think about yourself. Nobody should beat you up anymore, including yourself.”

Two broken souls, one second chance, Until I Saw You is about grief and love; grief for the life you had and left behind for the best, and love for the second chance life has given you. Two people find each other in their most desperate times without realizing it.

TW: domestic abuse/violence

While the themes surrounding this book may seem deeper, the story itself is hopeful. It isn’t necessarily anything new, but I do feel like the author did take a newer approach to it.

“Riley?” He lets out with a defeated sound, resting his head on my shoulder. “I’ve got nothing to give you though.”
“How can you say that?” I whisper, wrapping my arms around him, grateful to have him close again. “You have the only thing I want. You. Just you. Your kind heart, your jokes, your laughter, your smiles, your beautiful fucking intelligence. Your patience.”.

The themes of hurt/comfort are all around the book. The book has some angst, but it’s mostly sweet. Some may think it can get a little OTT and sappy during some scenes, but that didn’t bother me. While the themes aren’t sunshine and rainbows, the execution also wasn’t. We still see how the characters are dealing with their personal problems–Riley is still adjusting to his visual impairment, and Harper is hiding from his abusive ex-boyfriend, trying to make ends meet. They both help each other out and come to see there is more than just a working relationship building between them.

One thing about me is that I love stories dealing with characters who have disabilities. I find some comfort in seeing a character making themselves appear stronger than they are, or finding ways to prove themselves worthy because others don’t believe in them. It sounds sad, but it brings me hope and makes me optimistic. But, if there’s something else I love in those stories, it’s characters who don’t let their disability define them, and that was Riley. Riley was a ball of sunshine, but he was hurting inside, although he didn’t show it. When he lost his sight, he lost close people to him, including his ex-girlfriend, who was never supportive in the first place. When he meets Harper, Riley finds another meaning in his life, and it’s not necessarily bad. He finds a different sense of strength in Harper because of his companionship. What starts off as a working relationship turns into a friendship and then mutual feelings are involved. Yet, while Riley’s blindness is a part of him, it never defines him, and both men know it. He never uses it as an excuse for anything (even though he can); he doesn’t let it stop him from achieving his goals; he doesn’t need people’s sympathy to show himself worthy of anything. He’s strong, positive, optimistic, encouraging, and self-supportive, but he’s also a little lonely. Even though Riley is the sunshine of the two, the one described to being sunlight into their bubble, Riley needed his own half of it, and that was Harper.

Harper, who is running and hiding from his abusive ex, was carrying a dark cloud over his head. As a visually impaired trainer working for Riley, he first feels guilty for the relationship growing between him and Riley. Yet, what I really found realistic from his character was his own guilt. Because it had only been a couple months since he left his ex, Dallas, Harper felt like he wasn’t in the right spot to be having feelings for someone else, especially someone who was apparently straight. This reminded me of a friend I have, who has told me how guilty she felt for loving herself and doing things for herself after she left her abusive ex. With Harper, it was as if he was scared of not healing “on time.” I liked seeing his thought process of this because it showed how unconscious healing can actually be. It’s different for every one, and the time it takes is also different, because there isn’t only one way to heal. Harper was proud, stubborn, scared, and felt indifferent. Through the author’s writing, it’s easy to feel and imagine how Harper is feeling. It leads to an unfortunate third act conflict, but I couldn’t even be that mad about it. I thought it was somewhat understandable, considering what Harper was dealing with and what conclusions he was coming to. It didn’t have everything to do with Riley, but while it did, it also had to do with Harper’s guilt and feeling like he didn’t deserve what he had. All in all, my heart broke for this optimistic little man. He deserved the world, and I was more than happy to know that he would soon be receiving that love he dreamed and hoped for.

I realized allowing yourself to be loved is more difficult than people think. I know enough about it, how it almost cost me Riley. It’s one instance where it’s okay to be greedy—he can give me all the love he wants. I’ll gladly take it and cherish it.

I thought the disability rep was very well written. I even learned a little from it (I didn’t know what Braille was, and I didn’t realize how different the loss of sight is for everyone). I thought the way Riley and Harper worked together for Riley’s visual impairment was written really well; nothing over the top and nothing that overtook the plot of the story. It was a part of Riley, but it was never something used as an excuse for the sake of giving him something.

The relationship between the two was one of my favorites. It was slow burn with low spice, but it was adorable all on its own. It was never rushed, and it never felt like Harper was taking advantage of Riley either. Riley’s bi-awakening was taken extremely positively. While he was confused and unsure at first, there was never any disgust to it. It was something he accepted fairly quickly and early on as he realized it, but he also questioned it and had to play with the thought a little, which I thought made it a little more realistic. The two men complemented each other really well—Riley was all sunshine, while Harper was not exactly grumpy but also a little lost. I wouldn’t say this was grumpy x sunshine, mostly because Harper was never grumpy. He was just someone who had a dark cloud of rain over his head and needed someone to take over a little. The relationship was sweet. Despite the dark theme of domestic abuse from Harper, the relationship between the two young men grows organically, progressing from strangers to friends to somewhat lovers. They get to know each other well, always giving each other a balanced and equal measure of opportunity to understand each other. It never felt like one was better than the other, or if one thought they were better. All in all, I loved how the author wrote the opposite dynamics between the two yet never let their differences intervene with each other. Their banter was also one of the spotlights of this story. It wasn’t snarky, but it was a back and forth that showed the easy going relationship they had.

Taking his hand, I place it over my chest and hold it there. “This thing inside my chest? Do you feel that? It bangs on my ribs like it’s trying to break out of a cage whenever I’m with you or without you, whenever I think of you. Let me let it out, Harper,” I plead. “Please? It’s yours already anyway.”

One of the only things that bothered me is how Riley came across. Although not for the entire book, there were a lot of scenes where he felt a little too childish and immature. Sometimes it felt like he was in college instead of coming closer and closer to a midlife crisis. I understand, to an extent, having childish humor or attitudes during certain times. Hell, I actually love it! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, especially with friends. But with Riley, it was too much. From the whining and pouting, to creating immature situations, to simply how he acted, it was difficult to take him seriously. His sunshine personality sometimes got the best of him. This may not be something others notice, so it’ll all depend on one’s interpretation.

In conclusion, I’m not entirely sure if I’m open to reading this authors previous works, but I’ll be keeping an eye out for what she writes in the future just in case. Considering how I felt about the representation in this story, I can see I’m a fan of how authentic she keeps it. For anyone looking for a moderately low angst, bi-awakening/GFY, somewhat grumpy x sunshine, boss/employee slow burn with a low spice level, Until I Met You is it.

Riley had changed his entire world, his entire view of life. He brought him light when all Harper saw was darkness. He brought him love when all Harper thought was left in the world was fear and misery. Most of all, he brought him hope when he’d always only dreaded what was to come each day.

[Snjez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Riley. Loved his energy and his attitude from the start. Maybe his eternal optimism wasn't always realistic and his humor was sometimes too much, but that didn't bother me. I also appreciated how his blindness was portrayed.

Harper. I liked him. He was sweet and I loved how he treated Riley from the moment they met. However, I really wanted to shake him when it came to Dallas. I don't get why he would let Dallas do that to him. Why not block his number and report him to the police? I didn't find that part of the story and Dallas as a character believable.

The relationship. Great connection and chemistry between Riley and Harper. I loved how slowly their relationship developed. What I didn't like was the third act breakup, or rather how it was written. I didn't like how stubborn Harper was and how he kept convincing Riley of how he should or shouldn't feel. The whole thing was resolved quickly, but the rest of the story felt too sappy and it dragged for me.

Supporting characters. Daniel, Rob, Riley's parents and Larry – all were really great.

[Imme [trying to crawl out of hiatus] van Gorp · Rating 4 out of 5]

|| 4.0 stars ||

This was such a soft and gentle love story. Harper and Reid were caring and nurturing towards each other and their entire relationship was just lovely. They had a lot of hurt/comfort between them, and the book truly spent time on building a real connection between them.

They were both exactly what the other needed; Harper gave Riley the patience, understanding and respect he needed to deal with his recent blindness, while Riley gave Harper the confidence, trust and happiness he needed to deal with the trauma of the abuse he suffered by his last boyfriend.

Both of these characters were extremely likable. They were so different with Riley being smiley and charming while Harper was shy and timid, yet they found each other in their respective pain and loneliness. They could be there for each other in a way no one else could, and it felt oh so comforting.

The main thing that I didn’t quite appreciate about this book was the pacing. It could feel a little slow at times, even though I do understand why it needed to be slow.

But really, this was a lovely book. It was written well, it had some deeper and genuinely sad emotions, and the romance was rather beautiful.

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

NSFD!!!!!!!!! I REPEAT, NSFD!!!!!!
(Not safe for driving)

BECAUSE IF YOU ARE LIKE ME, YOU WILL BE SQEEEEEEEE-ING, AND YOU WILL BE FEET-SWINGINGGGGGG. and driving is not an optimal time for feet-swinging NGL :(

There are sooooooooooooo many tender, genuine or hilarious moments of this book, that can not just simply be explained in a review.
I JUST LOVE ME A BOOK WHERE THE ATTRACTION GROWS AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOOKS.
✨Harper and Riley were everything✨

Harper a traumatised DV victim, who learns to human again.
And Riley, a man who became blind later in life, who does straighty 180 and grows a love for the wonderful Harper through building this lovely connection as kinda a support worker?

These two LOVE a yap sesh to eachother, and their developing crush was really beautiful.

THEY GOT ME BLUSHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
(the icing scene, and the "Whenever I am around you, whenever you touch me" scene???? R U KIDDDDDDDDDDDDING!???! IYKYKM)




WHY DID LARRY HAVE TO BE UGLY THO? WHY YOU DO HIM WRONG LIKE THAT DIANNA ROMAN? 😂😂😂

[~✡~Dαni(ela) ♥ ♂♂ love & semi-colons~✡~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love good hurt/comfort stories, and this is one of the better ones.

Both MCs are hurting: Harper, because he suffered physically, mentally, and emotionally at the hands of his despicable, abusive ex, and Riley, who recently lost his sight due to an accident and has his girlfriend treating him like a child and keeping him dependent on her.

I honestly can't believe Riley was even nice to her when he saw her in the street. She was vile.

This is a mostly quiet story with the MCs growing ever closer and bonding over inside jokes and m/m romance novels.

Riley has a bi awakening, verging on a GFY, which I don't like usually because reasons. But I couldn't even be mad.

I believed in Riley's love for Harper. He was so patient, never giving up, even as Harper, illustrating self-sabotage at its finest, kept pushing him away.

One thing that frustrated me was the lack of communication. It took the men so long to have a real conversation about their feelings.

I also wish Larry (he was always Larry!) the dog had played a bigger role in the story, but I'm dog-centric so take that as you will.

The steam was on the low side and I'm not convinced we needed that horrific scene of violence toward the end, but the HEA more than made up for it.

Lovely read overall.

[Rain · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved these two characters so much. I was looking for something a little lighter after reading a mc club story and this one was perfect.

✔️Live-in caregiver with a gentle heart and a painful backstory
✔️Newly blind thrillseeker with a sunny disposition
✔️Gay audiobook listening cuddle sessions
✔️Adoption of ugliest dog ever
✔️Found family
✔️Hurt/comfort

Could it have used a bit more discussion about sex and partners? Yes. Was it hilarious? Yes.

And that shower scene!

“The only way I could be more okay is if you were narrating this like one of your books,” his voice floats down, thick with lust.

My biggest complaint was the lack of resolving the off-page abuse of a character from a previous bf. It would have been so nice to see them building their relationship to include more intimate scenes, showing the trust they had for each other. That would have taken this book to the next level.

I also needed to hear more about the morning vision. What the heck happened with that?

Overall, a beautifully sensitive story of two men recovering from completely different traumas. I didn’t even mind the obligatory break up near the end because it didn’t feel contrived.

Loved loved loved the inclusion of audiobooks in this story!!!

[Lau ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Who in their right mind wouldn’t do something that they love and makes them happy?”


I was losing all faith in my book-picking capacity until I started reading this book. Cunning, charming and ridiculously enjoyable, Until I Saw You tries to send a message of hope to the survivors, to the brave human beings who keep fighting despite everything life is sending their way.


I’m the one losing his sight, but everyone else seems to be having vision issues. They treat me like I disappeared.


Since he lost his vision, Riley Davenport has struggled to rekindle his happy self, the easy humor that used to be his trademark. Everyone is pitying him, from his girlfriend to his mom, and he’s tired of being treated like an invalid child. Starting with breaking up with the former and promising the latter he’ll accept professional help to stop living surrounded by trash. What he couldn’t have predicted was Harper Reid…


Physically, mentally and monetarily broken, Harper Reid has reached rock bottom. He can’t get back to his apartment without fearing for his life, so accepting a new position as an in-home worker is the perfect solution. Or maybe he’s back at being his silly self, always falling in love with bad ideas.


I don’t remember laughing, smiling and sighting so much while reading a book. I loved Riley with all my heart, the way he was full of energy and determination but especially his wonderful humor. He was crazy in the best way possible and reading his POV was a complete delight. I couldn’t understand how he came up with half of the things that left his silly mouth but they hit the mark every single time. And don’t get me started with the way he always tried to protect Harper and make him happy, how selfless he was. I wished I had half of his mentality; he made life seem so much brighter.


“Riley? Are you sure you don’t want to think this through a little more?”
“What’s to think about? They are going to kill him.”
“Yeah. I know, but he’s not a trained dog () I mean, if you can only have one dog, why not get one that’ll be of more use to you?”
“Just because he’s not useful like everyone else doesn’t mean that he has nothing left to offer,” he says, no trace of his effervescence to be found. 🥺


Harper was softer, more quiet and scared after spending three years in an abusive relationship. While I would have preferred having more time to heal between that and the start of the book, I have to agree that every person heals at their own rhythm and I liked how it was finally addressed later in the story. I think it helped that Riley started identifying himself as straight, so Harper felt safer next to him knowing that it was less probable that Riley would take advantage of him. he only had to worry about those unrequited feelings killing him


There were so many things to love about this book. I adored the audiobook scenes, suffered with Riley the angst of trying to find out if Harper was into him when he couldn’t see his gestures and had to rely solemnly on his words and touch. It was something I had never stopped to think about before; it’s hard enough to read people when you can see, but being blind it seemed like an impossible task. There were so many details regarding that rep that, for someone who has read only a couple of books featuring blind characters, made the book interesting as well as extremely enjoyable.


While I have to admit Riley might be a bit immature at times and everything felt a bit too easy taking into account the themes, I loved this book. It was ridiculous, how a story that was supposed to have all the elements of an emotional romance filled my heart with so much warmth. I’d highly recommend Until I Saw You if you are looking for a book that 's going to fill you with happiness and hope. I really can’t wait to read Daniel’s story.


PS: everyone should learn how to make Riley-style compliments.

PSII: that epilogue 😭

[Shile (Hazard's Version) on-hiatus · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audiobook
Greg - 5+++++++++ stars
Iggy- 4 stars

Story - 3.25 stars

I thought this was going to be angsty, turns out it was candy fluff with Insta sprinkles.

Overall it was okay.

[Drusilla · Rating 5 out of 5]

This plot made me oh so angry, so extremely sad, made me cry like a baby, had me wheeling, but made me incredibly happy. A wee bit exhausted after reading this, happily so, so happy. Did I say it already, this book made me happy. 🤗🤗🤗

What else is there to say ...
First, the girlfriend is the worst. Such a shallow unsympathetic bitch. 😤

She doesn’t let me do anything and talks to me like I’m an idiot. I know being blind isn’t supposed to be fun, but something tells me it shouldn’t suck this much either. I should be allowed a few opinions like what color shirt I want to wear. I can’t see, but I’m not brain dead.

The boyfriend/roommate ... the worst of the worst 😡😡😡

“Would you listen to yourself? Nothing about the way you look says consensual.”

A thousand thanks to the author for the nice solution that removes Dallas from Harper's life.

Harper and Riley, oh my, they are so perfect for each other. There have been a few annoying moments, but most of the time, they are so lovely. I just wanted to hug them constantly.

The flinching, the anxiety—he needs to know there’s kindness left in the world. He needs to feel safe. What the hell kind of life is it if you’re afraid of your own shadow? And I thought I had problems. My frustrations are child’s play compared to what I imagine he’s been through. 😢😢😢

“I have magic places inside of me that can harbor reserve calories for emergency situations,” he explains through his chewing.
Magic places? Yeah, I’m well aware of his magic places. Damn it. I’m doing it again. 🤣🤣🤣

His hand was meant to be in mine. It makes sense there. I don’t want it to ever stop making sense.

And so on, there are many wonderful quotes. love them all … 🥰🥰🥰

[Lilly [Hiatus due to School] · Rating 5 out of 5]

Until I Saw You is the story of Riley, a vision impaired App developer who recently lost his eyesight due to a mountain climbing accident and Harper, a VRT (visual rehabilitation trainer) who escaped an abusive relationship.

I loved the portrayal of blindness in this story. It was very educational to learn more about VRT and what it is like to live with a disability. I think the author did a great job handing this topic and theme.

I also enjoyed Harper and Riley’s connection and romance. While the spice was on the low side, their chemistry was excellent, and it was a slow-burn romance and bi-awakening/gfy with no freak-out on Riley’s end. Riley takes everything with a positive outlook and discovering he had feelings for man is no different.

Harper needed Riley’s infinite positive attitude as he was dealing with trauma from an ex-boyfriend. He was there for him and provided him with the space he needed to heal, no matter how hard it was. Harper also allowed Riley to get his independence and be there for him without doubting his capabilities or seeing him as a burden. My heart seriously hurt for Harper.

Overall I enjoyed Until I Saw You. It is my first book by Dianna Roman, and I will be looking forward to future works by them. If you want slow-burn romance, bi-awakening/gfy, sunshine/Blind MC, and hurt comfort, I recommend this story!

Please check TWs

[Lyn❤Loves❤Listening to Real Voices Only!!!!❤️🎧📚 Addict ON HIATUS · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audio - 5 +++ Stars
Story - 4.5 Stars

[Kaity · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reread/Relisten#1: November 2023

Same as my original review, the 3rd act drama that Harper did was annoying and unnecessary... but even with all that, I enjoyed this reread as much as the first time around.

Hoping that this helps me get out of my slump season..

Original Read/Listen: March 2023
Audio: 5 stars (Greg B and Iggy Toma, yes please)
Book:4.5-5 stars

Fuck yes this book was amazing from start to finish. I could barely put it down and so happy I picked this up!

The narration was fabulous, both Greg Boudreaux and Iggy Toma were perfection!

I loved (almost) everything…Harpers 3rd act drama that I wished didn’t happen but I know it was necessary. I was just glad he didn’t take too long to know what he has with Riley is nothing like it was with Dallas!

And Riley! I loved him right from the start!

Ugh now I have to find a book that can compare! Haha

[Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, this was a very cool and very sweet story. Riley is an incredibly uplifting character. He's an aspiring young entrepreneur who designs apps. But he lost his eyesight in a sports accident and now needs to cope with being blind. All he can see is differences in light and dark. 

His girlfriend isn't very helpful and wants to dress him and asks him to behave in a certain way as to not embarrass her in front of their friends. But Riley doesn't want to depend on anyone. He wants to learn how to embrace life as a non-sighted person.

Sadly, he doesn't know that there are in fact specialists for people in his situation. Luckily, though, his health insurance is providing funds for a live-in caretaker for him, so once he bids his girlfriend farewell for good, he tries to have a professional help him with his daily routine.

However, one by one, he fires all the live-in nurses for various ridiculous reasons.

Vision Restauration Therapy specialist Harper is in a low point in his life. Lacking self-confidence from early on, he went into an abusive relationship with a MMA trainer who regularly beats him up and empties his bank account. Not to mention that he cheats on him with women. 

The last physical abuse left Harper severely injured and traumatized, so he flees from his home, hoping that his boyfriend won't find him. Answering the ad for the position in Riley's home, he doesn't even care that he's heavily overqualified for the job. He just needs a salary and a place to sleep. 

When it turns out that Riley is a blind person, Harper gladly offers his specialist's insight and helps Riley find his way around with the various tools that non-sighted people use. So without charging extra, Riley gets the full VRT treatment from Harper and finds out that the world is manageable and full of possibilities for sighted AND non-sighted people.

Living together brings both men closer to each other. Riley finds a sense of purpose in life again and Harper feels safe and appreciated for the first time. Together they explore an unexpected attraction that is even more confusing as Riley considered himself straight all his life, and Harper fears that the feelings Riley harbors for him are a kind of Stockholm syndrome or gratitude for helping him out. 

Even more heartbreaking is the fact that Riley's vision does return sometimes for a few moments, which Riley tries to make the most of by looking at things that he hasn't seen before (like a sleeping Harper next to him), so he can make some visual memories before his damaged retinas will leave him blind for good. 

It's a beautiful, uplifting book, but it also has incredibly dark sides. Harper's ex-boyfriend is evil personified. His violence and his hatred know no bounds and while I kept asking myself throughout the book how this could be resolved so Harper doesn't have to live in constant danger and fear, I felt that the resolution of having the evil boyfriend die in a bar fight, is a bit too simple and will not sit well with real life victims of such situations. 

But all in all, this was an incredibly satisfying read. Riley is like a sunny day. His energy and personality are shining brightly, it was beautiful to follow him on this journey that he eventually shares with Harper!

4 stars!

[lakshmi · Rating 4 out of 5]

That was the cutest book I've read this year! And that epilogue <3 that proposal👌💕

[Carol [Goodreads Addict] · Rating 5 out of 5]

Until I Saw You is book one in the Until I Saw You series by Dianna Roman. This is my very first book by this author and I am completely blown away. The first chapter pulled me right in and I fell totally in love with both of the characters. It was both funny and heartbreaking at times. But above all, it was filled with a bone deep love that gave me all the butterflies.

Riley Davenport is thirty two years old. According to his mother, he was born smiling. His life is full of adventure and laughter. But an accident has stolen his sight. So he is trying to navigate a now unknown world. He had just begun dating his girlfriend a couple of months before the accident and now she has taken over his world, making him feel more lost than he already does. After he ended the relationship, he hired and fired two caregivers. Now a third one is on his doorstep and he is tempted to send him away as well.

Harper Reid is twenty seven years old. He is a trained vision rehabilitation specialist and works for a company that contracts out his services. Harper has been in a two year relationship with an abusive boyfriend. After the last beating, he has finally had enough. With no money, no where to live and barely a duffel bag of clothes, he finds out about a client that has fired two of their best employees. It’s a live in job and is his last chance. Now he just needs to convince the client to let him in the house!

“He’s a compass that’s made it possible for me to navigate again.”

Harper makes sure that Riley knows from the start that he isn’t there to run his life. Instead he is there to teach him how to be independent, to learn the skills that will make his life easier to navigate. They hit it off from the start and a friendship develops and secretly, both of them begin to feel more. For Riley, this is so surprising since he has never been attracted to a man before. And Harper, who hasn’t had a lot go right in his life, is convinced that Riley’s feelings come from a place of gratitude.

“Why did I have to get a job for a guy who’s hotter than the sun and makes my world a brighter place than it’s ever been?”

These two couldn’t have been more adorable together. I loved them both but oh my gosh, Riley was just the absolute best!! He kept me smiling constantly!!! This book was sweet, swoony, steamy and so well written. I couldn’t have loved it more. I will definitely be reading many more of Dianna’s books. I wonder which one I’ll choose next?

For more about this book and so many others, come and visit me at Carol's Crazy Bookish World.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Carol...

[Cat the bookworm (semi hiatus ish) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely swoonworthy romance 🥰

First, let me start with the authors note at the end:

As the topics covered in this story are very dear to my heart for personal reasons, a portion of this book’s earnings will be donated toward charities helping victims of domestic abuse and the vision impaired. Thank you for helping me support them.

I usually read books via KU, but after reading this note, I’m pressing the buy-button.

Back to the book: it’s about Riley, who’s almost completely blind after a severe eye infection. And despite the fact that his world is turning dark, he’s the sunshine in this book - upbeat, vivacious, funny, and yes, sometimes a bit childish, but I loved him nevertheless. And I know a lot of guys in his line of work (he’s an app developer) who have a similar sense of humour, so I didn’t mind his occasional silliness. Oh and Riley is straight, so what we do have here is a beautiful gfy story, too ❤️

The other man in this equation is Harper, a VRT, a Vision Rehabilitation Therapist, who’s jumping at the opportunity to move in with Riley to help him adjust with his blindness. Harper, who finally managed to get out of an abusive relationship with his boyfriend of 3 years after being severely beaten up (and raped).

Sounds like a dark book, but trust me, it isn’t. It’s light, without making light of the things both men have to deal with. I really loved their dynamics, their banter and the relentlessness with which Riley chipped away at Harper’s armour.

It made me laugh, and and it made me cry. But mostly it filled me with warmth and sunshine, and drew me in from page 1. Was it perfect? No, it wasn’t. But apart from the fact that I think I learned a lot about visual impairment, it made me happy, and that’s why I’ll gladly rate it with 5 stars.

And now I’m hoping for a book about Daniel (Harper’s friend), because I don’t know about you, dear readers who have read this book, but I don’t feel like a certain incident outside of Daniel’s bar was coincidental.

[Jay H (Hiatus) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know why I just remembered this scene

“Riley, are you…coughing on purpose?”
“Well, yeah,” he agrees readily, weaving his other hand into my hair.
“Why?”
His lower lip presses into his top one. “Well, to relax the prostate,” he says matter-of-factly.
“What?”
“You know like when you go and see the doctor or in the movies when veterans talk about military medical entrance exams, how you’re supposed to turn your head and cough when the doctor does the finger in the butt thing for the prostate exam?”

Maybe this is a sign to re-read this book

[Alexandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

it was a great book

New to me author, and a good surprise. This book was entertaining, funny - sometimes sad but overall not too angsty. I loved Riley he is such a goofball. Recommended!

[Drache.... (Angelika) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hurt/comfort mm romance.
Harper and Riley, both perfect on their own and together, too perfect even. Their characters had no genuine, realistic feeling flaws beside, well... self flagellation and over enthusiasm and towards the end a heavy tendency towards schmaltzyness (I don't care if that's a word or not).
Very predictable plot.

The tenderness and love between Harper and Riley in the middle part were beautiful.

Nearly everything regarding Dallas was over the top.
The constant "I'm the reason everything bad happens", "I'm bad for him" are getting old... As well as the idiotic notion authors have, making their MCs declare a hundred times "but he is straight!" even after the man in question kissed, cuddled, had sex with another man. No, he's not straight.

The last chapters were too sappy for me.

I'm getting more cranky and schmaltz-adverse the older I get.

[haletostilinski · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐︎ 4.5 "Until I Saw You" Stars Rounded Up! ⭐︎

I absolutely loved this. It was so so good! I couldn't put it down.

Trigger Warnings For : Mentions/Allusions to abuse and rape/non-con. It's never outright shown on page, but we get the gist through allusions and mentions of it. We also see the aftermath of the physical/emotional abuse.

In this story, we have Harper, who has been in an abusive relationship for about the last 2 years. He gets away after one beating goes so badly that the next time, he's scared he'll die...

Of course, his asshole abusive ex-boyfriend cleared out their joint account and Harper barely has any money to his name.

He stays on his bosses' couch for a few days, but he doesn't want to be a burden, so when the opportunity for a job, any job, comes up, and it's a live-in situation, he jumps at the chance.

Riley has recently become blind. He got an eye infection on his latest trip with his best friend Rob - he seems a bit of a daredevil, always happy and ready to enjoy life - and that along with a fall he took off a rock face he'd been climbing, left him blind.

He has brief - very brief, like about a minute or so brief - moments where he can see, but those are coming less and less and his vision is getting worse and worse as time goes on.

He has a girlfriend at the start of this, but she was his girlfriend before he lost his sight, and she does not handle him being blind well, at all. She's ableist, and she treats Riley like an inconvenience, and like he's an invalid who can't do anything for himself.

Suffice to say, they don't last long past the start of this.

A few months later, Riley has fired his last two in-home caretakers, and he's resistant to having one. But if getting one will get his mom, who he loves but can be a little overbearing, off his back, then that's what he'll do.

Enter Harper, desperate for a job and a place to stay, and Riley, who wants his mom off his back.

Turns out, this changes their lives forever, of course.

Riley thought he was straight before Harper, but a few months into them knowing each other, Riley starts realizing the way he's feeling about Harper is anything but platonic.

Harper, from day one, has been smitten with Riley. But he's just gotten out of a horribly abusive relationship, and he has it in his head that Riley is straight, so he could never want him.

But he's patient, and sweet and never does he make Riley feel less than just because he can't see. He more guides him when needed, but leaves him be to be independent when he can. It's the perfect balance, and he treats Riley normally, and Riley appreciates that and loved that about Harper.

These two start to fall in love, and it's so so wonderful. Their connection was almost instant, and they just worked so well together. The chemistry was so so good.

Dallas, Harper's abusive asshole ex, is still lurking around, and of course he pops up a few times to cause trouble.

He almost ruins everything for this wonderful, adorable, loving couple, but of course they prevail in the end, and although we don't know if Harper will ever be able to bottom for Riley, Riley bottoms for Harper (and it is, of course, wonderful), and if that's the way it is for the rest of their lives, Riley is content with that. Harper was scared he wouldn't be enough because he didn't know if he'd ever be able to bottom for Riley, but that didn't matter in the end. Because Riley isn't a horrible piece of shit like Dallas.

It was a tad low on steam in this, but what we did get was wonderful and I loved it. And it kind of made sense, for what Harper went through.

Riley actually takes his attraction to a guy, when he never has been before, in stride, and it was nice. I get when a character might freak out or have a hard time, but I also love when they don't either. And with Riley's loving and accepting parents, it makes sense that he wouldn't freak out about finding himself attracted to and falling for a guy.

I do think the Dallas of it all gets resolved a little too easily. In the epilogue we find out what happens to him and what happens is enough that he won't be a problem anymore. But it all happened a little too conveniently for me, which is part of my .5 stars off. I know he sucked and I'm glad Harper and Riley wouldn't have to deal with him, but still, if only it was that easy in every abuse situation...it just felt like it was done to get that storyline/problem out of the way for their HEA and not like it made sense, realistically.

Buttt other than that small niggle - and perhaps the lower than I would have wished steam - this was wonderful and amazing and I have a new author to love. Definitely going to check out her other works as well.

I HIGHLY recommend this, it was just a standout novel for me. Two MASSIVE thumbs up from me!😍🥰😘

[Vanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 Stars!! Loved it!! ❤️❤️❤️🤩 I can already tell that this will be one of favs for 2023!!
It was medium angsty but it was also funny and joyful. Riley with his effervescent personality and wit was simply amazing. And Harper; it was gut wrenching to see him so beaten down by his abusive ex and circumstances 💔, but to his credit he didn’t give up and how he was with Riley was testament to his courage and spirit.

“This thing inside my chest? Do you feel that? It bangs on my ribs like it’s trying to break out of a cage whenever I’m with you or without you, whenever I think of you. Let me let it out, Harper,” I plead. “Please? It’s yours already anyway.”

This was a slow-burn GFY romance and wonderfully written by this new-to-me author, but I’m a fan now😍 . Highly recommended to all fans of slow-burn, emotional and joyful romance!! 👍🏻👍🏻

[aleksandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5

Such a good debut.

“You taught me how to see. I honestly don’t know why God gave me eyes before you came along, because I didn’t use them for a damn thing until I saw you.”

And Harper…he belongs here with me where I can show him how much he’s taken over my heart, my entire world. He belongs where I can make every day the life his gentle soul deserves to live."

[TrippyBooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful & emotional love story . Made me cry. Definitely recommend.

[Jordan Fischer | julietfoxreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG y'all, this book is SO GOOD. Until I Saw You by @diannaromanbooks is another book that I've had on my TBR for a long time, but SO many people recommended it I decided to give it a shot. For a story about one guy losing his sight and another guy dealing with DV, I was expecting tons of angst. However, Until I Saw You is adorable and funny and lighthearted while still being incredibly sensitive about both issues. I laughed, I cried, and I had a great time - get this one on your TBR, you will not regret it.

Seriously y'all, I was so impressed by the way Dianna takes two truly difficult situations and crafted an incredibly sweet love story that I was swooning over. Riley, who is one of the most golden retriever-y MMCs I've read in a while, is rapidly losing his sight as well as the vibrant life he once lived. He reluctantly hires Harper, a visual rehabilitation therapist, as a live-in caregiver, but he really just wants to be left alone to mope. He quickly realizes that Harper can teach him skills to help him live more independently, but they also get along incredibly well as friends. As they bond, Riley, who thought he was straight, has a pretty low angst s3xual awakening and starts attempting to "woo" Harper. The trouble is, Harper is struggling to get over his toxic and abusive ex, who hurt him physically as well as psychologically. Riley makes Harper happy, but it's so hard watching him second guess everything about his relationship with him due to comparisons with his ex and his lack of confidence in himself. If this sounds heavy, it is, but both characters have an incredible support system, access to helpful resources, and each other to fall back on, resulting in an incredibly sweet HEA that had me happy crying.

I totally understand now why Dianna Roman, and particularly this book, is a favorite for so many. Such a unique take on so many topics, and I love how she is able to find hidden joy in things that can be so difficult. It's refreshing, and I cannot wait to try more of her backlist.

[Gaby · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so beautiful!

Update on reread, I still think this book is precious, and that Riley is the biggest green-flag boyfriend ever.

[hope · Rating 4 out of 5]

He took a chance on me when I was a mess, when I needed a chance the most. He let me into his home and trusted me. He turned my world from dark to light, and then he gave me all of himself when I’d have just settled for a fragment. Every kiss I place on his silky skin is a thank you for those gifts.

Harper and Riley, my gosh 🥺 they have my heart. I expected this book to be very angsty but we got so many happy and swoon worthy moments. Riley is a gem of a human being. He was so hilarious, always tried to make everyone around him happy and laugh and he was unmistakingly himself. Riley healed Harper back to life and showed Harper how he deserved to be loved. While Harper showed Riley that he was capable of anything and what it was like to have real love. I thought this was going to be an angst fest but it was very hard to feel that way when Riley was cracking jokes the whole time. Despite his tragic accident that made him lose his vision, he was so carefree, sweet, and funny. He was also so accepting of Harper and himself and just everything, I love him 🥺

“Thirty-two. How old are you?”
“Twenty-seven.”
“Twenty-seven? Whoa, you’ve got to be the oldest twenty-seven-year-old I’ve ever met.”
“Why’s that?”
Waving my hand in a flourish I digress.
“The button ups, the books, the smooth, deep voice. Oh, and the whole cautious grandpa act. Dude, you’re an old man trapped in a young man’s body. You wear house slippers and smoke a pipe. Don’t you?”
“This is really good for my ego,” he deadpans.
“That’s what you get for letting me pick out an ugly dog.”

The damn dog! 🤣They had some top tier banter. I could have enjoyed the book just based on their conversations. Harper just got out of a very physical and emotional abusive relationship and Riley lost his sight, so seeing them being able to make each other happy and laugh together was so precious. I’m so happy they found their person in each other.

Don’t look back, Harper. Don’t look back. Ignoring myself, I steal a glance on my mad dash to my room and stop in my tracks. He’s…touching his lips, the lips that just kissed me, the lips that I just kissed. He’s touching our kiss, and he’s…smiling.

Their first kiss? Just wow 😍 The tension and build up was palpable, even from the very beginning. So when they first kissed, it felt like fireworks went off lmao. This book is definitely spicy but I’d say it’s on the low spice side. But the scenes we do get feel very intimate because their connection feels real.

I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life, and that’s saying a lot since I lost my sight this year. I’m happy because of him.

You get to see these two characters grow together but also separately too. Seeing Harper struggle to allow himself to trust someone again and to allow himself to be happy was heartbreaking. Riley was so patient and loving towards Harper no matter what. They were both what each other needed but in no way did they think they would find it. So if you like bi-awakening, boss/employee, disability rep, hurt/comfort and some spice ✨ I think you’ll enjoy this.

“How can you love me at my worst?”
I laugh now at my reply. “If this is you at your worst, I wouldn’t stand a chance with you at your best.”

—

*SPOILERS* Why I didn't give it 5 stars.

I think the reason this wasn’t 5 stars for me was because it was the opposite of what I thought it was going to be? It felt so happy at so many points and there wasn’t enough angst. Like I wanted to cry but I didn’t even get teary eyed. Well except for towards the end. The third act did make me feel really sad though, but I wish it had more of that throughout the whole book besides just the end. And Harper still insisting Riley was straight even AFTER everything that happened between them and it’s like 85% into the book. Like dude, he is NOT straight, clearly. I get him saying it in the beginning, but not when the book is almost over.

Some of my fav moments 🥰

💕Them riding the motorcycle together and Harper holding on for dear life😭
💕Daniel meeting Riley for the first time and telling Harper “You’re so fucked” I loved that he knew already 😭 ALSO Daniel was amazing, we all need friend like that honestly
💕Riley asking Dallas how tall he was so he could sock him
💕When Harper let Riley feel his face and Riley said “You’re good looking, aren’t you” I DIED 🥺
💕When Riley got to see Harper for a little bit, that was the goddamn sweetest scene ever. “He’s gorgeous, so fucking gorgeous.”
💕When Riley was coughing purposely. IYKYK 🤣
💕That fucking epilogue. PERFECTION
💕HARPER LOVING AUDIOBOOKS???? He is one of us. And how they listened to gay smut together 😭
💕 the proposal scene? Wtf 😭😭😭😭 so goddamn sweet and perfect.

[BookSafety Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book safety, content warnings, and tropes down below.

I wanted to return to him whole, even though I knew he would have taken me in pieces.

I think that was my fourth time reading or listening to this book, which is a good indicator of how I feel about it. It’s a beautiful story. It’s also funny, heartbreaking and heartwarming. Riley is exactly what Harper needed. Maybe not the best timing in his life, but there’s no doubt in my mind that they work as a couple, and the hilariously sweet epilogue proves it.

There’s a few heavy themes in this, and although the abuse and violence is off page, there’s enough details and emotional turmoil to make you feel it. The author handles the topic well, and I appreciate her for not shying away from the long-term effects on Harper’s mental health.

Riley’s disability is also handled really well. It’s such an uplifting story in spite of all the doom and gloom, and how Riley handles being blind (with as much confidence and humor he does everything else) really elevates the book for me. That’s not to say it’s all smooth sailing or easy in any way, but it really balances out the story and the characters.

Head lowered, it almost looks like he’s… looking at his cock. He’s supposed to be mixing up the icing for the cinnamon rolls. When he turns around, I’m greeted with a proud smile and… an icing covered-cockhead. Pinching my eyes closed, I press my fingertips into them, telling myself not to smile. “I think I might need some help with this after all,” he says, gravely. His mother needs a medal. I swear.

⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️

⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Disability rep
Blind MC
Strangers to friends to lovers
Forced proximity
Hurt/comfort
Bisexual awakening
Slow burn
Boss/employee

⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
Domestic abuse (physical, some details)
Domestic abuse (sexual, few details)
Explicit sexual content
Injured MC
Physical assault (off page, present, detailed injuries)
Manipulation (not between MCs)
Brief mention of parent death (off page, past
Brief mention of child abandonment (off page, past)
Ableism
Brief mentions of assumed cheating (not between MCs)

⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No
Other person drama: Riley has a girlfriend at the start of the book. Their relationship ends before the MCs meet.
Breakup: Yes
POV: 1st person, dual POV
Genre: Contemporary romance
Pairing: M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Vers, no switching on page
Main characters’ age: 27 and 32
Series: Interconnected series, standalone
Kindle Unlimited: Yes
Pages: 246

If I had an ounce of his tenacity, I’d have had a much different life instead of always settling for whatever I get because the thought of speaking up for myself is physically uncomfortable.

How old are you?” “Thirty-two. How old are you?” “Twenty-seven.” “Twenty-seven? Whoa, you’ve got to be the oldest twenty-seven-year-old I’ve ever met.”

Maybe that’s what I really needed all along, someone kind and alone just like me because together, we’re not alone.

“So…prostate stimulation? That’s…that’s really a thing? Like…what does it feel like?” Trying to describe a prostate orgasm to your straight boss-slash-patient should not be among anyone’s job experiences.


You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?...

[Cassandra · Rating 1 out of 5]

1.5 questionable gfy ⭐

I'm not going to knock this book because of my feelings on gfy right now. This one book is not the target of my feelings and I don't want to trash this one particular story because of it. Suffice to say there were some things that were good about this book which is why I'm giving it any stars at all.

Stuff that was good:
- the exploration of domestic abuse; it was realistic and well written. Harper's reactions and feelings were authentic
- the MCs; both were likeable and relatable in their own way. Riley was a fun guy before he lost his sight and he remained one once he got his life a bit more together. It was refreshing to have a MC who didn't remain surly forever. Harper was an authentic portrayal of an abuse victim and he was also generally a sweet guy
- the 'bad guy' got dealt with in the end (I like me some good comeuppance and I'm really hoping Daniel was the cause of that but I suspect we'll never know)
- Larry the dog; gotta love a dog in a story right? 🐶
- the health worker and patient trope (if you are into that sort of thing. I'm not but I know others are so I'm listing it as good)

Stuff that wasn't good:
- this wasn't written as a bi-awakening; it was written as gfy. At no point was Riley being bisexual mentioned and he had never, ever been attracted to men. At all. In any way. Yet at the end of the story in Riley's new career he mentions demi/bi awakenings and this does not a bi-awakening novel make. That was literally the first time being bisexual was even mentioned. He was with women in the past (he was 31 ffs), there were so many instances of him being referred to as straight and there was not even a hint of a mention of interest in men ever. Not till one guy, who is his care worker is kind and sweet to him 🙄🤷‍♀️
- the career Riley had at the end? Uh please? Like he was just going to be good at that miraculously?
- the language "...if I went gay..." ? Yeah, I get this may have been slang or language that was used by that particular group of characters but I found it (and a few similar instances of language and situation) troubling

There were a few other things I didn't like, didn't feel authentic and didn't fit with a gfy or bi-awakening story. Maybe this is part of the problem with gfy, because if you like having sex with women, its not really gfy is it? Its bi-for-you. Or just bi. Maybe that's a me-problem or a definition problem (like gay as an umbrella term) 🤷‍♀️

Don't care. This just struck me as a book written to tap into the popularity of the gfy trope involving men having sex with men (which I have historically loved btw) and not in a way that is good or healthy for the celebration of differing sexualities. I found parts of it offensive, parts of it lame and parts of it nonsensical.

Having said that, many of my GR friends have loved it so make your own decisions. But don't say you weren't warned.

[Layla]

DNF @60% and skimmed to the end.

This book wasn't bad and this is not why I'm DNFing.
It's just not grabbing my attention.
It took me 2 days to get to 60%. I skimmed and put it down ALOT.

There are a few main things that made this book not work for me:

1. The Ex cliché. Both MCs have an ex and both of their exes are terrible. Riley's girlfriend is mean and callous while Harper's boyfriend was an abusive dick. That was a bit too much
Add that to the fact that Riley is also blind. It seemed very #TraumaPorn to me.

2. Now you would think that with all the trauma and terrible people this book would be sad and angsty. It's not. Riley and Harper banter all the time. For me, it didn't really match the mood set by the first couple of chapters. That dichotomy gave me whiplash.

3. I didn't really feel the attraction and the connection between the MCs. It fely very abrupt and insta-lovey.

4. I didn't like that Harper, the gay man, was very hesitant to be seen in public with Riley and always anxious about PDAs.

5. The 80% breakup. This is tired and overdone. We don't need this plot device for added angst. There were already plenty of that from the MCs' exes and Riley's blindness.

6. The MCs are 32 and 27 , but act younger than that.

I do understand how readers would like this book; it's perfectly fine. But to me personally, and in MM especially, I want more than perfectly fine.

[Hugo #freepalestine · Rating 4 out of 5]

"There’s too much angst in the MM genre"
HA funny the 4th wall break because there's a few angts in this story as well that made me wants to rip my heads off 🤣

- I loved the proposal scene at the end I was crying lmaoo and the way it sets up so cleverly and the way harper propose to Riley just 🤧

- i loved Riley speech to harper on the third act about that He's a victim of abuse

- I loved Riley in general how that he's such a ball of energy and how he just accepted his attraction towards harper without questioning his sexuality because of the audiobooks

- I loved their chemistry from the get go and how well they fitted in each other space

- I loved How we see on Riley's perspective and how he adjusted to blindness

- I loved the dedication at the beginning

- I loved how harper works his way out towards accepting himself as a victim and his character development

- I also loved this scene
“My hero,” I declare, stroking his chin.
“I don’t feel like a hero,” he says with feigned dramatic flair.
“You defended my honor. That makes you a hero,” I reassure his fishing expedition for compliments.
His shoulder shifts, and I catch his Adam’s Apple bobbing. “Yeah, but… heroes get kisses.”

-I liked Larry

However

- I don't like how harper kept telling himself that Riley is straight even tho they both having already have multiple sexual encounter and Riley had to convince to harper that he's not straight so many times.
Because Riley sexuality isn't something harper to decide.

- I hate Dallas the way the author wrote him as a character he just felt like a caricature he just doesn't even feel like a real person.
Well he's fictional ofc but there are some things I would've appreciate better if he isn't just A walking fist and a sneer.

Overall I loved this book just a few nick nacks
Here and there that I had a few issues with.