Every Inch a King: A Novel

by Harry Turtledove

Otto of Schlepsig is risking his neck as an acrobat in a third-rate circus in the middle of nowhere when news arrives that the land of Shqiperi has invited Prince Halim Eddin to become its new king. Otto doesn’t know the prince from Adam, but he does happen to look just like him—a coincidence that inspires Otto with a mad plan to assume Halim’s identity and rule in his stead. True, Shqiperi is an uncivilized backwater, but even in uncivilized backwaters kings live better than acrobats. Plus, kingship in Shqiperi comes with a harem. Rank, as they say, has its privileges.

With his friend Max, a sword-swallowing giant whose chronic cough makes every performance a potential tonsillectomy, Otto embarks on a rollicking journey filled with feats of derring-do, wondrous magic, and beautiful maidens—well, beautiful women. And that’s before he enters a royal world that is truly fantastical.

Genres: Fantasy, Fiction, Humor, Alternate History, Ebooks

297 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

About the author

Dr Harry Norman Turtledove is an American novelist, who has produced a sizeable number of works in several genres including alternate history, historical fiction, fantasy and science fiction.

Harry Turtledove attended UCLA, where he received a Ph.D. in Byzantine history in 1977.

Turtledove has been dubbed "The Master of Alternate History". Within this genre he is known both for creating original scenarios: such as survival of the Byzantine Empire; an alien invasion in the middle of the World War II; and for giving a fresh and original treatment to themes previously dealt with by other authors, such as the victory of the South in the American Civil War; and of Nazi Germany in the Second World War.

His novels have been credited with bringing alternate history into the mainstream. His style of alternate history has a strong military theme.

Reviews

[Mikhail · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adore this book to bits, though it's been a while since I read it. It's a roman-a-clef of a tall tale. In our world, a German circus acrobat named Otto Witte made up a fairly ridiculous story about briefly being the king of Albania prior to World War I. Turtledove, being a historically minded chap and a specialist in that region, apparently heard this and went "...okay, but what if he was telling the truth? Now *that* would be a great story."

So here we have that particular story, only set in a kind of fantasy other-Balkans, with the names changed to protect the innocent and the guilty alike. Actually, if you know much about pre-WWI Balkans, it becomes quite a lot of fun matching the counterparts. I admit I doubt this is a draw for many people, but I loved it.

As to the story itself... it's a comedy/adventure story. The comedy is heavy on word-play and references (albeit references of the more obscure sort -- the circus our protagonist starts out in is called Dooger and Cark, say), and on the classic trope of playing up the ridiculousness of basically everyone our protagonist meets. The ambassadors are particularly glorious here.

There are some elements that could be considered problematic. There's a good bit of national stereotyping, though it's subverted pretty much constantly. A more serious concern is that female characters are largely missing, other than the emphasis on the harem and sex. I don't think it's a disqualifying flaw, mostly because the story is fundamentally positive and good-natured, and it's clear that while our narrator may have some chauvenist views, the setting defies them more often than not (Lokrians, that is to say faux-Greeks, are said to be lazy and quarrelsome, but the most professional and competent character in the book is a Lokrian, say). The overall effect is that of listening to some old, nice, but not-exactly-modern great-uncle telling a story.

Still, I find this one of the *cheeriest* books in my library. At a time when we have so much doom and gloom, both in literature (see: Game of Thrones) and in life (see: the news), it's nice to just have a book where our heroes go on adventures, get rich, get laid, have a lot of laughs, and no one really gets hurt.

[Stefan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A hilarious and highly enjoyable read by Harry Turtledove, who shows his range of talents throughout the witty narrative. I very much enjoyed this novel being narrated from a 1st person POV (pleasantly different then some of Turtledove's other novels.)Everything about 'Every Inch a King' was delightfully readable and very engaging (especially compared to Turtledove's dense, multi-volume epics). I definitely prefer Harry Turtledove's satirical (often openly comedic works) to his more 'serious' alternative histories (with 'Guns of the South' being a notable exception). If anything, I look forward to reading more of Turtledove's cleverly satirical novels in the future.

[Eric · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first Turtledove book was The Case of the Toxic Spell Dump. Modern day L.A. with sorcery instead of technology. One of the things that stood out to me was his account of the Thomas Brothers Monastary. Having been a So Cal resident I had numerous Thomas Bros. maps back in the pre-GPS days. It was both entertaining and funny to see what the "parallel" version of something was. This is just one small example.
Every Inch a King, continues to add some "parallel" versions as it is itself set in an alternate universe. The style is light and engaging. I've read quite a few Turtledove books. This guy is prolific as all heck. But I have to say that most are more "serious" works. It was very nice to return to the humor of the Toxic Spell Dump in this book and I regretted it ending.

[Peter C Lyon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of fun for HT fans. Would want to read it again to really digest it well!

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very funny. The voice is of an acquaintance telling a story, as opposed to writing. There's snark and sarcasm galore. The main focus is a impersonation caper. There's lots of politics and wars and culture clashes, but the background of the world is presented off-handedly. The universe seems to be a older version of Europe. I wasn't conversant enough with European history to tell if there was a 1-1 correspondence of all the fantasy countries/empires with real ones, but it was fun to pick out what I could.

Turtledove has an amazing skill with language. He mixes in current colloquialisms to keep the tone correct, but also uses a lot of archaic terms to help convey the fantasy world. There was one little comic bit with a fairy tale creature that jolted me slightly, since fantasy creatures and fairy tale creatures are rarely in the same universe. It was still a very amusing moment in the book though.

Highly recommend!

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much lighter than much of Turtledove. Wildly funny, though it helps if you know Balkan politics circa 1913. Hero is a circus acrobat who decides to impersonate the new king of
the equivalent of Albania, which is just being separated from the equivalent of the Ottoman Empire. Story does include fantasy elements including a vampire, a sea serpent, and a dragon.The technology level is circa 1913 but with crystal balls instead of telegraphs and weather wizards instead of steam power for ships. Crossbows and swords are still in use.

[Brentman99 · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting book because as a stand-alone, it is a departure from Turtledove's normal writing. I like the main character, Otto of Schlepsig, as he is an every-man con artist. Max the sword swallower is a good sidekick. The ongoing harem thing gets a bit stale after a while, but overall, I liked the book.

[Mark Moxley-Knapp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another excellent novel by Harry Turtledove, one I'd never heard of or at best skimmed past in a list.

An alternative, well, Albania needs a king. An impostor shows up. There be dragons, and harems, and sarcasm. A fun, odd read. Interesting characters, interesting story. Great wrap-up, and you just never know what's going to happen next or how it will end.

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not put this down. Love Harry Turtledove's alternative history books, but this one tops those. Turtledove is a very intellegent writer who manages to keep you enthralled for the whole story cover to cover.

[Simon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recent Reads: Every Inch A King. Harry Turtledove's humourous fantasy, in an alternate magical Earth (where east is west and there are dragons in the Balkans) retells the story of Otto Witte, a German acrobat who said he was king of Albania for five days. Tall stories get taller.

[Kes · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is one of the books where I vacillate between a 2 star and 3 star rating. I think 2.5 star is a fair rating.

Here are the positives:

1) I love the humour in the narrative. I enjoyed the asides - the pointless descriptions of food, ending with the "I draw a veil of silence of [usually food object]" (i.e. a nice way of saying "silence is the better part of valor"). Or: " Most of the Shqipetari are entirely indifferent to freedom, save perhaps the freedom to plunder their neighbours." Or even:

Once upon a time, the Lokrians were the most civilized people in the world. All the history books insist on it. And if that isn't proof we've made progress over the past couple of thousand years, Eliphalet curse me if I know what would be.

After some time, however, the humour and the jokes felt like they dragged down the story. It was fresh, at first, but towards the end (around the third day), I wanted to shake the narrator and tell him to just get on with the story.

2) Related to the humour: the descriptions are great. We read endless descriptions of clothes and how ornate they are, or of food, or observations of human nature - or a rather many other items inconsequential to the plot. There are multitudinous depictions of people, the respective national stereotypes, and criticisms of the language. Some of the reviewers have mentioned that this book would go down better if you know anything about Balkan history, but without knowing anything about the region, the book is still a fun read. Take this description:

Life in Shqiperi is often squalid, sometimes downright nasty. It is rarely dull.

In Schlepsig, even in Narbonensis, you can go for years without being threatened with sudden and violent death. Is dullness one of the great unheralded virtues of civilisation? I wouldn't be surprised.

That's fun to read about... but too many times and it wears out its welcome.

3) I enjoyed the hijinks that the characters got up to. There are mainly two - Otto and Max, and I loved Otto's description of Max looking sadder and sadder. I love how their circus background came into play - Max sword-swallowing (both as a method of disposing of the trolls and at a formal party), and Max literally kicking the hat off someone. I scoffed a little at the dragon scene, but I enjoyed the role that dragons played in this story.

4) The supporting characters were also fun - I liked Zogu (the wizard), and Max's continued efforts to keep Essad Pasha relatively honest.

5) The ending was great. I liked that Otto started in the circus - and ended up back in the circus. I enjoyed how calm the final scene involving Otto and Halim was, after the frenetic activity of the chapter preceding it. I liked the two of them reflecting on life, and that their lives were eventually substantially mirrored. I loved that it ended with them in the garden, and that Halim says:

Halim Eddin nodded again. "Very much. Had you started it [the garden] when you were younger, it would have been wilder, I think, and I might have liked it that way myself then. Now I prefer things neater and tidier, too," he said candidly. "As we go through our lives, we all must cultivate our gardens as best we can."

"Yes," I said, and we stood there together in the warm sunshine.

That was a nice way to wrap things up - an older man describing the antics of his life.

However, I really disliked the pacing. It was slow. Perhaps I wasn't in the mood for how long this book was - it felt like it wore out its welcome two-thirds in. That's why I'm tempted to rate it 2/5 stars - it was objectively okay, perhaps well-written, but I wouldn't say I liked the book.

[Marie (UK) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I nearly gave up on this at page 5 but I am glad i persevered. Realising he looks extraordinarily like Prince Halim Eddin, Otto goes to take up the reins of his Kingdom. He manages to fool everyone and is soon enjoying the benefits of kingship but not all good things can go on forever. Easy read quirky humour but unremarkable storyline. More character driven than anything but it is one I will remember for whatever reason

[Ronald Spitzer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book hard to read. Yes, it has it's advertised funny parts spaced throughout but most are not all that funny, several are. Turtledove is an excellent writer and I have read much of his work. This book, however, is not one of his better books. The main problem is that the characterization is flat and it was hard to care about the main characters. All of this sounds like the book ought to be rated two stars, but the book is better than that.

[Miloš Petrik · Rating 2 out of 5]

Reads best with prior knowledge of the history of the Balkans in the 19th century. Fantasy elements felt underused and less than ideally fitting.

[Cristiano · Rating 2 out of 5]

D.N.F. at 64%, I find this book dull, it try to be funny too hard and for too long. Not my cup of tea.

[Ronn · Rating 2 out of 5]

For a fairly lightweight story, it seemed difficult to get through more than a couple of pages at a time. Probably that was from trying to keep track of all the Balkan-type fictional nationalities involved. I suppose it was enjoyable enough, but having finished it, I doubt that I will ever feel the need to re-read it.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

2 1/2 but I will give it the 3 stars. Pretty adolescent.