Madeleine: Our Daughter's Disappearance and the Continuing Search for Her

by Kate McCann

Kate McCann's personal account of the agonizing search for her missing daughter The decision to publish this book has been very difficult, and taken with heavy hearts. My reason for writing it is simple: to give an account of the truth. Writing this memoir has entailed recording some very personal, intimate and emotional aspects of our lives. Sharing these with strangers does not come easily to me, but if I hadn't done so I would not have felt the book gave as full a picture as it is possible for me to give. As with every action we have taken over the last four years, it ultimately boils down to whether what we are doing could help us to find Madeleine. When the answer to that question is yes, or even possibly, our family can cope with anything. What follows is an intensely personal account, and I make no apology for that. Nothing is more important to us than finding our little girl. --Kate McCann, May 2011 It is a sad fact that not a single police force anywhere is proactively looking for Madeleine (as is the case for many other missing children). I am sure this book will reenergize the search for our daughter and the public will get behind the Find Madeleine campaign once again. It is simply not acceptable that the authorities have given up on Madeleine--especially when no comprehensive review of the case has been undertaken. Our daughter, and whoever took her, are out there. We need your help to find them. --Gerry McCann, May 2011

Genres: True Crime, Nonfiction, Biography, Crime, Memoir, Autobiography, Mystery

408 pages, Hardcover

First published May 12, 2011

Reviews

[Helen Kl · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am sorry but I felt the need to read this book because I had a wariness about The McCanns, especially Kate. This book does not ease all of those. It's awful to think of the poor child whatever happened to her the poor poor girl.

I am not won over by Kate's writing and still wonder why they couldn't do what other families do on holiday - eat early and go home, take pushchairs and let em sleep next to the table or even take it in turns to go out but no THEY WENT OUT EVERY NIGHT.

One of the nights she was left alone Madeline asked why mummy hadn't come to her when she cried - still they went out again. Another morning there was a strange stain on the child's PJ's- she just washed them through and went out again. On the fateful night of the disappearance they all saw the door had moved but still went back to their friends, surely there were enough clues to make even a determined partygoer think that the children were not as settled or secure as they should be!!!

It's all too late for this now and I am glad I read the book but feel a bit sickened by the whole affair and a bit ashamed that I read it against my principles.

[Lilipuddlian · Rating 1 out of 5]

As a social worker and mother to four young children, this book was beyond excruciating to read. I cannot get past the fact that Madeleine's parents justify having left her and her twin siblings alone for 12 evenings in a ground floor apartment with an unlocked door. This was not, as she calls it "an error in judgement ". This was repeated neglect, willfully carried out night after night. What if there was a fire? What if your child was choking? Or left through the open door?


On the night of the abduction, Kate admits they spent the evening not on the restaurant patio, but enjoying "liqueurs" inside the restaurant itself as it was too chilly outside. Unbelievable.

Aside from that, a frankly inexcusable and repeated example of child neglect and abandonment, they only saw their children at meals, preferring to stick them in the resort daycare at every opportunity.

Despite struggling with infertility, Kate appears to take her children for granted, judging by her account. A very disturbing read.

[Maresh · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is simply a self pitying account of Kate McCann. I do recall that the children were supposedly left on their own. A working class family would have been prosecuted for that fact alone so I fail to see how Kate McCann is in any way a victim. She is at very least guilty of neglect and possibly more. I also found it very interesting that two high earning Doctors would use a fund set up to search for their child, in order to pay their Mortgage. In essence, this book just goes to confirm my worst fears for that poor Child. Whatever we think of the Portugese Police, we have to wonder why they were so certain that the McCanns killed their own child.

[Mickey · Rating 1 out of 5]

constructively, the book is put together quite well, which always makes for an easier read.

There is more photos of Kate and Gerry than there is of Madeleine. After a brief foreword the first chapter is all about Gerry and Kate and I suppose it's good to give the reader a background of the parents, but I quickly got the sense that this entire book is an admission of 'innocence'. How Gerry is one of those men who is 'honest and open' and how they both thrive to ensure their children are well nourished, with Gerry shouting up to Madeleine if she would like broccoli. Gerry proclaims that his 'church' took a back seat during his university days. the book is littered with these little statements

Then onto the main sections. These people cannot be right in the head. They can't be. In regards to a comment Madeleine had said the night before when she or the twins (I forget which) woke and cried for over an hour;

"we had mentioned to the others what Madeleine had said that morning. Obviously, we didn't want any of our children waking and wondering where we were even for a few MINUTES. It was enough of a concern to make us absolutely prompt with our checks."

Now I know what you're thinking. It should have been enough of a concern to stop this abandonment of the children let alone prompt checks. But apparently they see no issue in their actions. It was no different to them than them sipping a glass of wine in the garden on a summers night. Those of us sane rational minded people know it's way different. Firstly, it's a foreign country, with several risks (solid tiled flooring, risk of food / water adjustment, heat, un familiarity of area and people) the fact that visibility is poor due to greenery, bushes, trees and that the lighting under the tapas bar would scew any view while dark (simple; you would turn off lights to see out of the window clearly at night time due to the difficulty when you are under a well lit area) not to mention her admission of crying for her mother the night before. Also a "mistake" is typically a one off or 'moment' of lapsed judgement. No, this entire holiday was neglecting. They down this on every trip. Put into day clubs (though fine on occasions, not every single day) rushed through dinner and bath, then put into bed alone so that they could go out and enjoy 'adult time', at the expense of the safety of the children. Truly horrible people who feel no guilt in their actions, but instead try to justify them.

I warn you that this book will anger parents and those with compassion and I truly believe that in their warped minds, they believed they would gain the sympathy of the public. It did not serve it's purpose and my review is based upon the anger that it has caused. I cannot give this vile piece of work anything more than 1 star

[ShellTheBelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

*EDIT ON 01 MAY 2014*

In two days time it will be seven years since little Madeleine went missing. SEVEN YEARS.
I wanted to push this review back on my posts feed because I wanted to help raise awareness of a little girl who is still missing from her family; her Mom, Dad, and brother and sister.

Madeleine will be 11 years old on 12th May this year, and has been missing since she was almost 4, having disappeared from her holiday apartment in Portugal on the evening of May 3rd 2007.


I found this book both compelling and tragic. It is written by Kate, Maddie's Mom, from her (Kate's) point of view and it is told well enough that I can picture things as they happened. It is sad that Kate felt she had to write this book, I suppose, in some way to help clear her and Gerry's names.

I dont think for a minute that either Kate or Gerry had anything to do with Maddie's disappearance. And whatever my thoughts are about the children being left alone in the apartment, it still doesn't take away the fact that someone either went into their apartment and took Maddie, or Maddie wandered out of the apartment and then someone took her. And after all, do not forget the McCanns were not the only ones who left their children alone, the rest of the party did so too each and every evening. The other families in their party must be on their knees thanking god it wasn't their child that was taken.

The Portugese police were complete bumbling incompetent idiots. The crime scene was trashed before any investigators even got there.

I would have had the twins tested for drugs, given what Kate said about the night Maddie went missing and how the twins slept through all the commotion. It is my opinion that, if Maddie was targeted and taken from the apartment, then the creche where all the children went will hold the answers. I think someone who worked there or who had access to it could have drugged all three children with the intention of taking one of them later in the evening, knowing their parents would be out. It fits because Kate said how that night the children were too tired to do the usual play in the park after creche and had fallen asleep before their normal bed time.

At the end of the day, if any of the other friends in that group, the so called tapas 9, if any of them knew of anything Kate or Gerry had done to Maddie there is no way they would have stayed quiet, someone would have talked.

And as for Kate and Gerry, any one who thinks they had anything to do with it and then courted the publicity they way they have is a fool. There is no way they would draw such attention to themselves and continue to do so.

The part in the book where Kate tells of coming home to England and walking in their house is heartbreaking, and you would have to experience that heartbreak to able to write it as she did.

Also very heart rendering is how her day to day life with the twins is always, she feels, in scrutiny. The part about the swimming lessons was very impacting and incredibly touching. And how she can not go out now without people still staring and looking. I know they courted the media but I think they did it all for the right reasons and had no idea how it was going to blow up in their faces. The mom of litte Ben Needham who went missing in Greece 20 years ago has said she would have done the same as the McCanns had the resources been available back then.

Having read how atrocious the Portuguese police where it has put me off EVER visiting Portugal again.

I sincerely hope that one day we do lean of what happened to Maddie, if only for her parents to get closure. The only hope is that she is being kept somewhere and treated well, being kept out of the public eye such as those three girls in America that were found after 10 years last month. If she is, I think the answers lie very close to where she was taken from - very likely in Praia De Luz itself.

All my best wishes to Kate and Gerry and the twins, and I hope you find your daughter or at least find the truth.

[Helen Christer · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to read this book to see if it changed my opinion on kate mccann... it hasn't! all it has done is show a cold hearted woman who accepts no responsibilty for whatever happened to madeleine. I hoped to be able to read the book and find something that made me think that all the bad press was just that but unfortunately all I found was myself becoming irritated by quotes and actions of a seemingly carefree 'mother'. I couldnt actually finish the book and stopped 2 chapters from the end as the writing and lack of any emotion angered and bored me.

[Faye · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like many people in the UK I have been following this story for a long time and have heard the rumours and conspiracy theories that the McCann's may have actually been involved. Having now read this book I still have no idea either way whether they had something to do with Madeleine's disappearance. Kate comes across as someone who is genuinely grieving and struggling with the loss of her daughter, but at the same time she dismisses vital evidence the Portuguese police found. At one point when she learns of the sniffer dog evidence her friend remarks: 'are the police going to put the dogs in the stand and get them to bark once for yes and twice for no' which I thought was very dismissive and odd. Surely you would be distressed at the possibility your child had died in the apartment, not immediately try to discredit the sniffer dog evidence?
Overall it was worth the read to see Kate's side of the story and even though it's been almost ten years hopefully one day they will finally get a resolution to what really happened to Maddie.

[Dasha · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disgusting POS parents. I don't care how responsible they are, but the way they talk about their daughter is downright creepy [See page 129, at your own discretion]. Further - any sane parent would blame themselves for the disappearance of their 3/4 year old child, no matter how responsible they really are - it's only natural. These people seem like they could give two sh*ts about her. Almost like she was an object. For reference, watch their interviews. Really.

There really is no excuse. Can't believe the number of morons supporting these parents. They may not have sold their kid, or drugged her, or been directly responsible for her disappearance, but they left their toddlers alone; And just the response itself - they refused to cooperate, sued detectives who actually wanted to get to the bottom of this case (their ties to Clement Freud, for one, which have been swept under the rug by the MSM coverage of these cases), and seem like absolute narcissists, overall. The fact that they aren't being prosecuted just shows how privileged these people are, just by virtue of being doctors - if they had been normal, working or middle class people, they would have both been prosecuted and charged.

And then these asses proceed to capitalize on the disappearance of their child. Fantastic. What better way to show what kind of people they are? I hope the universe comes back to bite them.

This video summarizes everything wrong with this case: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0AuB...

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wasn't sure if I wanted to read this book. I've always felt that there was 'something' not right about the whole situation and have never warmed to the McCann's. I found it a really hard book to read, as a mother I was constantly relating it to my child - what if that had happened to me?, what would I do?, how would I behave? etc. I felt really sorry for Madeleine and what she must have felt/is feeling now, and part of me started to feel sorry for Kate and Gerry. In all honesty, I had to keep reminding myself that there were a lot of questions unanswered and ultimately at the end of the day they had left their children on their own, not just for one evening, but for every evening of the the holiday and they paid the ultimate price. I hope Madeleine in alive and is returned to her parents one day.

[Lucy Brittain · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found this very difficult to read and only read it really to base facts and create my own opinion of what happened. I found Kate Mcann very selfish and even on the front of the book couldn't be bothered to write Madaline with a capital letter at the front. They talked about leaving the children a lot, which to me why would you have children take them on holiday and leave them. This book met my expectations because I didn't expect anything more than to dislike it.

[Ruth Turner · Rating 3 out of 5]

I knew only the basic facts of the case concerning Madeleine's disappearance. I knew that her parents had copped a lot of flak in the media and I knew that she still hasn't been found, so I settled in to read Kate McCann's book with a great deal of interest.

And interesting it was. I read it in two sittings and was absolutely emotionally exhausted by the time I'd finished.

It's well written and an easy read for the most part, although keeping track of all the people involved in this story was a struggle at times.

There have been a couple of other books published about this case that I'd like to read at some point, just for the different perspective.

A truly heart breaking story.

[Jules · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought long and hard before picking up this book to read it as I honestly don’t know what to think about the criminal case of Madeleine McCann. I choose to use the words ‘criminal case’ as ultimately someone out there is responsible for the hideous crime of this little girl’s abduction – and obviously abduction is the only word that can be used here as, since its occurrence, little other concrete evidence has been found to explain her disappearance otherwise. I’m just trying to be politically correct and, as a result, this material is potentially very challenging to review.

This book is clearly written from Kate McCann’s (the mother’s) perspective and whilst her chronological reflections of events demonstrate her own version of accuracy and emotion, there still seems to be so much that is missing. Other Goodreaders have acknowledged that this account is self-pitying - I don’t find it especially so. The void that surprised me personally whilst reading was a lack of clarity on what is actively being done now country by country and locality and locality to help locate the child they BELIEVE as missing presumed alive. It must indeed be a minefield (to use the possible champion understatement of the year) but this information could have been helpful to the reader and thus to the writer.

What is admirable is that Kate McCann appears to talk candidly and honestly about some of the negative and potentially scathing treatment that both she and her husband received at the hands of the Portuguese police during a series of interviews where they were near-enough framed as murderers and perpetrators of the crime. Let it be said, many people just would not be able to deal with this in any public or private way whatsoever.

So what of the lasting impressions of the book? Is it honest? It appears candidly so. Was it detailed? Exceedingly so. But do I still have outstanding questions relating back to the crime committed in May 2007? Yes, of course I do and I’m sure there are many of them we or I will never learn the answer to.

Any book that we read can lead us to develop a more informed opinion and line of thinking. Reading this has helped me to do this and as a result I will not be discussing any of my further thoughts via this forum. Ignore the star rating I have given this book – I really didn’t read it for entertainment purposes but it did inform me, balance out some of my opinions and allow me to continue my own line of thoughts. Of course, the true victim of this situation was Madeleine herself and I can only wish her peace wherever she is now.

[Leah · Rating 3 out of 5]

After reading some websites regarding the sniffer dog results and the car, I did wonder if perhaps the McCann's were involved in their daughter's disappearance.

I find Kate's recount of the events seem truthful. In all honesty I find the way all the families left their children unattended in their units unconscionable, to increase the risk by leaving the door unlocked boggles the mind. The half-hourly checks were not even satisfactory for discovering a child distressed by being left alone in my opinion. If nothing else I take away from this book that the safety precautions I take for my kids are not being paranoid and should continue to just be part of life I take for granted like carseats and seat belts. That said, this is an error that should have been able to be made without consequence ... there is in all likelihood a predator out there who targeted Madeleine and may well do this again.

I wish the McCanns the best in their efforts to find out what happened to Madeleine. It would be such a joyful miracle if Madeleine was found alive and reunited with her family.

[Phils Osophie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eine Wertung für so eine Art Buch abzugeben ist natürlich sehr schwer. Besonders, da ich diese Art Bücher sehr selten lese. Doch der Fall der (angeblichen?) Entführung von Madeleine McCann hat mich schon immer sehr beschäftigt und leider gab mir dieses Buch nur sehr bedingt das, was ich wollte. Viel zu viel Gelaber über den Madeleine Fund und die vielen Reisen nach dem Vorfall, viel zu wenig Infos und Emotionen der Mutter gegenüber dem Abend des Verbrechens. Eigentlich Schade.

[Rheanna]

I don't even know how to rate this book, honestly.

[Dave Taylor · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was a difficult read, in that it is harrowing to read the pages that describe the 'kidnapping' and aftermath.

This book has been available for some time and I wanted to read it to see if it would change my mind about the McCanns as parents and as people.

I have been doubtful of the McCanns version of events from the outset, throughout recent history most (not all) crimes of this nature are committed by someone close to the family or by a family member. There are a lot of anomalies in this 'true' account of the events leading up to this strange disappearance and although it is a very heartbreaking story without doubt, these anomalies make it hard to know what is the truth.

Kate McCann in particular always struck me as someone that was very clever and found it easy to manipulate her audience, be it the police, the media or the public, telling us what we wanted to hear. The loss of a child through death or kidnap has to be the most traumatic experience any parent can go through, yet here was a woman in the throws of one of these nightmare scenarios and she showed very little outward sign of pain or anguish.

I came away with no more facts than I already knew of the case other than a back story of the McCanns before they had children, and some unnecessary private life information that has no bearing on the case at all.

I do have a lot more sympathy for Madeleine now and I can't help but feel pity for the McCanns because of her disappearance, but this book has not swayed my original doubts about them.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always been very interested in the Madeleine McCann case and followed events in detail over the last 4 years so, not surprisingly, when reading this I didn't learn a lot of new information. What was interesting though, was seeing things from Kate's view but I found the excuses she makes for leaving the children alone each night, even after they had been upset and cried the previous night, pathetic and upsetting. Kate is clearly distraught and angry and the book, although very interesting and detailed forms harrowing reading, but it does show the great lengths they went to to "leave no stone unturned" even if, very sadly, it does all seem to me too much, too late - a true case of shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted.

[Lesley · Rating 4 out of 5]

i thoroughly enjoyed this book. very well written,not just about the personal aspect but also about the legal issues surrounding the abduction. it is obviously written from the McCanns personal view but gave a very detailed account of all the processes involved when dealing with a missing child,or rather what should have happened.The sheer exhausting job of sifting through legal processes and evidence that the McCanns now find themselves having to do is thought provoking and admirable. I truly hope that the McCanns finally get to the bottom of their beloved childs disappearance and find some peace one way or another .

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Couldn't put it down - and I warmed to Kate as a person far more than I have done through the media. Well worth a read, if only from the point of view of admiring the strength of the human spirit.

[Joanna · Rating 1 out of 5]

If I could give this review zero stars I would.

I found this book utterly painstaking to read and haven't finished it, nor do I intend to. And I never leave a book unfinished.

I have never been a fan of Kate McCann, although equally I've never hated her. I tend to lean towards the indifferent if I'm completely honest. That said, I chose to read this book out of a combination of morbid human interest and wanting to form my own opinion of Kate without just relying on the press.

The book itself starts out quite well. It doesn't dive straight into the deep end ridiculously quickly. It sets the scene far better than any newspaper has in the four years since Madeleine went missing. That's about it though.

After this point however I found it got more and more painstaking and hard work to read, for a couple of reasons. One is that some of it really is quite disturbing to read. Another is that Kate goes into embarrassing detail about her and Gerry's sex life or indeed lack of at a couple of points and finally, it just made me cringe at times. I absolutely do not want to take away from the fact that what has happened is truly awful but I feel that Kate did absolutely nothing to endear herself to the reader.

Other people out there will disagree but for me, the only reason that this wasn't a waste of money is because the proceeds of the book go to helping to find Madeleine.

[Susan B · Rating 4 out of 5]

When the McCann family of five left England with friends for a holiday in the Algarves, little did they dream that only four of them would be returning. Just shy of her fourth birthday, their daughter Madeleine would be snatched from her bed by a stranger. This book is their story.

While the subject matter is difficult, the story is important to read. For one thing, it accomplishes its objective, which is to keep Madeleine's name, face, and the event of her abduction, in the public memory, with the hope that someone, somewhere, sometime, will see her, recognize her, and aid in returning her to her family.

No matter what you've read or heard about the case before, here you get the whole story, no private thing hidden, in great detail. And it will astonish you, make you angry, grieve you, and cause you to pray not only for Madeleine and her family, but for all stolen and missing children and their families. It will also make you hold your own children a little closer and think about how you can let them experience life while providing for their safety to the best of your ability.

Please read this. Then take action - for the sake of the world's most precious resource - its children.

[TheKeyAuthor TheKeyAuthor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kate McCann's very personal account of those torturous years. A testament to the human spirit in the face of unbelievable adversity.

After reading this book, I gave more credibility to the notion that my case may well have affected theirs, and not just the other way around, such is the detail in the time-line.

I thought the account of their negative treatment by the police and the media was balanced given the utter frustration at the impact it was having on their search prospects. Most people would probably have expected several pages worth of expletives, but as the book supports the ongoing search, they rose above that to maximise its worth for that goal.

I have followed the story intensely in the media since it tragically burst onto the world stage in 2007. But it was quite absorbing to get the McCanns' perspective even though I knew the general story.
They really should receive everyone's unreserved support. They are human beings after all, suffered every parents worst nightmare and are still missing their daughter.

[Melissa Delport]

I can't give this book a rating because it's purpose isn't to entertain but to educate. It was very factual, and as mentioned, I didn't connect with Kate McCann, but perhaps that wasn't her intention. This book breathed new energy into the search for Madeleine, when it had all but stalled, so in that respect it was a good move.

[Katherine Vega · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sé que todo el mundo tiene una opinión sobre este caso tan mediático, pero leer algunos comentarios negativos contra Kate en las opiniones me ha dejado loca. Me alucina un poco que la gente continúe comprando la teoría de la policía portuguesa de que los padres fueron los responsables de la desaparición y muerte de Madeleine. Va contra toda lógica, pero no me voy a meter en eso.

Lo voy a resumir en que yo sí creo que los McCann no tuvieron nada que ver; solo son culpables de haberla dejado sola en un lugar desconocido, que no es poco. Me cuesta entender su decisión, y la de sus amigos, de dejar a sus hijos en un apartamento a solas con las puertas sin cerrar, pero bueno, creo que tanto Gerry como Kate tienen toda la vida para flagelarse por ello. Bastante tiene con lo que tienen, la verdad.

Respecto al libro: pues es desgarrador, claro. A mí me interesaba más la parte emocional de Kate y su evolución desde las primeras semanas hasta el paso de los años, y el libro lo refleja, si bien también hay muchísimos datos de encuentros con abogados, periodistas, policías, investigadores, ONG que sinceramente he leído un poco en diagonal al final. Pero cuando Kate se abre en canal es cuando el libro cobra sentido, para mí. La primera vez que soñó con Madeleine es un fragmento muy triste, que te sobrecoge.

Yo no tengo hijos (sí sobrina y sobrino) y el simple hecho de pensar en perderlos así me deja quita. No soy nadie para juzgar los comportamientos, decisiones y actitudes de padres que han pasado por un trauma así: cada uno tiene su manera de sobrellevar la situación, y todas son válidas.

[teleri · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5.

Losing a child must be the most painful thing a parent can go through, but having one disappear whilst in a foreign country and then having pretty much the whole of the UK, if not the world turn on you and suspect you are guilty of your child's disappearance must be heartbreaking every single day. Yet, I personally believe the McCann's had something to do with Madeleine going missing. I'm not sure what I believe their involvement is, but I just don't see everything adding up. And this book doesn't help squash any of my beliefs (it helps it along in some places.)

Obviously this book was written with the intention of showing Kate's side of the story. Yet in doing so, I feel she casts herself in this angel like glow of doing no wrong. To me it came off as she couldn't take the blame fully, although saying she does. She explains how they'll both feel guilty for the rest of her life for leaving their children unattended in the apartment yet she says it along the lines of 'we could only have known afterwards that this was a bad idea'. How? Nobody should leave their children unattended in their own house, never mind in country you're not familiar with whilst you're having tea. It came off to me as she was saying this as 'Most parents would think this is okay!' I best hope they wouldn't. I'm not a mother, but I wouldn't leave three children under three alone whilst I knock next door for a cup of sugar, even if they were sleeping. It feels like she was trying to distance herself from the blame in a way.

[Couldn't they have got a meal to go and ate in the living room, with all the children in one apartment? Or actually use the creche and resettle their kids down after having something to eat with friends. Surely if they're as tired as she made them out to be they'd settle back down after a short walk back to the hotel room? Hell they could have got the prams they use later to have them sleep in them next to the table but instead the both go out every night and make a habit of leaving their kids alone. All because they were checking on them every 30 to 45 minutes. A child can die in that time. A child can wander off in that time. A child can be taken in that time. It just isn't a responsible thing to do.]

There are two things in this book that make me uncomfortable, and that's Kate talking about her sex life with Gerry and calling Madeleine's genitals 'perfect little [genitals]'. Like everyone else, I was reading this book to see how the disappearance of their daughter effected them, yet I wasn't expecting Kate to talk about how she couldn't touch her husband in a sexual manner. Okay, a little too personal for me. I don't need to know that, it's literally none of my business and has nothing to do with Madeleine going missing. She talks about not being able to do anything pleasurable for two(?) years after losing Madeleine which is understandable, but any reader who is interested in your sex life clearly isn't thinking straight. It was uncomfortable when she brought it up the first time, and even worse when she mentioned that she was able to start enjoying things again, and that she and Gerry began to work on their relationship and getting their sex life back. Cool, good to know, never want to read or think about that again. Seriously, why was it included.

Then we have the way she talks about the possibility of Madeleine being abused. Now, I don't have the book with me so I can't double check this (you can do that) but I believe it's the first time she and Gerry actually talk about the possibility of something dreadful happening to Madeleine together. And these fears would be understandable. But, I feel like you would say 'I'm afraid she's getting r*ped, or abused.' Not how you pictured her "perfect little genitals being torn apart." That's just such a weird phrasing and actually disgusted me.

I also question the actions of Kate and Gerry a lot more as a result of this book. I knew that she had shouted about Madeleine being taken as soon as she noticed she wasn't in any of the rooms, which in itself is strange. My first reaction to someone I know not being where I left them wouldn't be kidnap it would be that they had wandered off. Missing not taken. But the second strange thing that both of the McCanns do is leave their twins. Not only did Kate leave them alone in the apartment complex in order to raise the alarm, but they left them with friends and family whilst they travelled across Europe to raise awareness for Madeleine. Personally, if that was me, I'd have them strapped to my chest the whole time. Just knowing that they're safe with me, and not back in the country where their sibling has gone missing from would make me a whole lot more sense. Yet she explains this as 'travelling would be hard on them.' Okay but your one child is missing and during the first few weeks you admitted to barely being around your two youngest. It's strange. I'd think they'd want the comfort of knowing that two of their children are safe with them.

The whole book just comes off as a plea from Kate to not think she was a bad person. Well she was. Any parent who leaves their child alone for a meal is not a fit parent, but to do this every single night you're on holiday? It's wrong and a crime. And the sad thing is, if this had happened to someone who was less fortunate that Kate and Gerry in the finance department, they would have been charged or arrested for child neglect. Oh the joys of the middle class getting better treatment.

[I also felt like there were more pictures of Gerry and Kate in this book than there were of Madeleine. Maybe she doesn't want to share every picture she has with the world but it feels unbalanced. This book was a 'feel sorry for me' attempt in my personal opinion. With the small sprinkling of help find Madeleine.]

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've had this on my Kindle for ages, but only got round to reading it after watching the recent Netflix documentary.

As none of us know for sure what happened to Madeleine, don't expect any great revelations in this book. It's also quite dated given that it was published five years after Madeleine vanished, she has now (as of 2019) sadly been missing for 12 years.

I didn't enjoy the writing style of whoever wrote this. It was reported at the time of publication that JK Rowling lent her assistance, but this has been denied since - with sources saying that the only connection there was that they shared a literary agent.

Several of the instances in this book do not match up with statements the McCanns and their mates gave to the Police. The timelines and other little details are all off - I'll add some at the end of this review - but that makes me think that this book wasn't written with Madeleine in mind at all, but with the intent of making her parents look good. In fact, there are many more pictures of Kate and Gerry in here than there are of Madeleine.

I also felt that the book had too many coincidences inserted for the sake of it. Are we supposed to believe that Kate had a conversation about pedophiles the day before Maddy disappeared? Are we supposed to believe that one of their favourite songs to sing to Maddy involved the line "please don't take my Madeleine away"? Or that Kate and Gerry "almost" stayed in that night instead of going out? Come ON. I felt like this book was trying too hard to gain sympathy when anyone with half a heart is already sympathetic to a family who has lost their child.

This book was published with the supposed intent of raising funds to continue the investigation. As we know, a total of £11.75million has been spent so far, with the most recent funding in November 2018 (£150,000 in Government funding). I think it's horrific for anyone to lose a child but I also think it equally horrific that that kind of money can be produced for one missing person and not for another. Why this case?

Everyone has a theory about what happened to Madeleine. Regardless of what you think happened, a little girl is still gone. This could have been prevented, had the parents not been so determined to stick to their rigid routine while on holiday and not left their three small children sleeping, alone, in an otherwise empty room, unlocked, along an easily accessible road, in a foreign country, while they dined and gossiped. It's unforgiveable and it must be an incredibly difficult thing to live with, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Discrepancies in the book include:

- Kate saying she felt "fleetingly disappointed" that she had not been invited to the beach with her friends, but Fiona Payne saying in her rogatory interview that the McCanns HAD been invited, but had tennis lessons.

- Kate saying she ran back to her room to get her camera and then took the now famous picture of Madeleine holding tennis balls when in fact Jane Tanner took the picture, BECAUSE Kate didn't have her camera.

- Kate saying that they had wondered about "having a dinner in the sitting room or veranda" on the night in question, when on a TV interview she said that they had considered going to a restaurant called The Millennium but did not have a buggy - but they had earlier rented a buggy from the resort on another occasion.

- Kate says that the door slammed shut in her face when she went to do her check. But there is no mention of that in either her or Gerry's statements, where they say the door was open "completely wide".

- Kate says that "Saturdays had become family days" - Saturday was the only day the creche was closed.

For the record, I don't think any of the above means that they were involved in the disappearance of their daughter - I just think they were entirely disinterested in their children, completely self absorbed and wanted to do their own thing on the holiday without the inconvenience of minding young kids. This entire book seemed like it was written only to show that they actually did have an interest in their children, but it came off as fake and over-the-top.

[Caroline Barker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Whilst this subject has undergone some very controversial opinions, after reading this book I have my own. The book in general highlighted, perhaps in slightly more detail, areas that have largely been covered by the press. Therefore, I have only given it a rating of three, however due to the pain that Kate McCann in particular must have gone through to bring herself to write it (and knowingly facing more criticism) maybe I should give it more.

Before reading this book I, like many, questioned why did the McCann's leave their children unaccompanied whilst they were enjoying a meal/drinks with friends quite a few metres away? And I can still understand why this is such an important question. I am a mother myself, and even though the situation may have been similar to that of sitting in your garden at home with the children in bed I could not leave them without even a baby monitor to hear them with. For example, what if they were sick/choking, or cried out for you without you knowing? But I do not think that the McCann's need anyone to point this out to them, I'm sure they have filled themselves full of guilt and have had to realise the stupidity of their actions that will remain with them for a lifetime.

However, they still have a valid point in the fact that someone has abducted their little girl and they cannot be blamed for the sickness that this individual has. I do feel for them in the sense that the authorities did not investigate thoroughly from the very beginning and unfortunately this dramatically reduced the chances of finding Madeleine.

After reading reviews on this book, I have noticed that many still cannot bring themselves to read the whole book as they blame the McCann's for leaving their children, and almost feel no compassion, but anger. But again these feelings are not helping Madeleine. Just for a second think about the child where she may/may not be and with whom. We all can make mistakes, and when you're on holiday in particular it's easy to feel relaxed and laidback. I'm not making excuses for them but I am trying to reason and understand both viewpoints!

It was an upsetting read and the book made me blame them for leaving their children, made me wonder if they were trying to clear their name, make money etc. But in the end, unless you've experienced what they have gone through, who knows how you'd react. I do feel that Kate felt she needed to do this for many reasons. Ultimately, for spreading the word of Madeleine and hoping for more witnesses etc to come forward, to aid funding for the Madeleine Fund which also helps other Missing and Abducted Children but maybe also too, to let out her own feelings.

It is a good read and if you can skip past the feeling of blaming the McCann's the remainder of the book does go into detail on how the investigation let Madeleine down from the beginning and the inhumane articles that the press and certain individuals have had printed about the case!! Not forgetting the home/social life that the McCann's have had to live ever since that terrible day!

[Alessandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kate is a very down to earth and very intelligent woman. Even before reading it, I have always felt sympathetic to her ordeal. I felt very connected to her throughout the book, and I am frankly sorry for what she is enduring. She is a great mother and her bond with her husband is so beautiful. She writes very well, I think she should try to write other unrelated books as well.
People want to feel safe and their police force works well, therefore all parents of missing/exploited children will always have tons judgemental people trying to place the blame in them instead of the criminal himself, so of course this book (or whatever else the Mccanns do) will always have a lot negativity around it. But I am sure that the majority of people do see the bigger picture and would never wish such a tragedy to fall upon any family, regardless of what honest mistake they may have committed.
If there is anything I learned from this book, is to be very aware of how criminal investigations are conducted in some countries. Not that in my country it would be any less messy, but... It is still quite scary.

[Gerry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Without doubt this must be one of the most harrowing books that I have read; I cannot imagine what it must be like to have a child snatched from under your nose, never to be returned. And for Kate McCann to write the story must have taken a lot of mental strength; some would perhaps say that it was cathartic and that may be the case but even if it did provide psychological relief through the open expression of her strong emotions it cannot possibly take away the pain and suffering and the feeling of utter sadness.

Poor Madeleine was abducted from the holiday apartment in Praia da Luz, Portugal, while her parents were at a nearby Tapas bar dining. Like many other readers of the book or followers of the case the ethics of this situation could be questionable. If I were asked would I dine away from my child/children when on holiday in a foreign country, or even in England, I would categorically answer 'No'. But I accept that everyone sees things differently and Kate and Gerry McCann felt that, with regular visits to the (unlocked, ground floor) accommodation to see if the children were alright, there was no problem Sadly, how wrong could they be?

The other unfortunate thing about the situation is that the penultimate visit to check on Madeleine and her siblings was done by another member of the party and on that visit Madeleine's bedroom door was more ajar than the McCanns had left it. The checker did not know this so assumed everything was okay on hearing steady breathing from within but if Kate or her husband Gerry had made the check they may have been alerted to something. One will never know.

Then the investigation that followed was made more awkward by the language difficulty and on more than one occasion the McCanns' had to question the translator(s), which did not lead to good relations for a while. The police, too, did not seem as helpful as perhaps they could have been and then, later on when they questioned the McCanns as suspects, or arguidos as they were called, the situation became very tense.

If there is any good in the story, family and friends proved a godsend and helped immensely, not only by being there but by providing support and various services when needed. But, sadly, it all proved to be in vain for ultimately the McCanns had to return to England and get on with their lives as best they could. How they manage I must confess I know not.

Madeleine is still missing, the tremendous hurt will still be there and as Kate says, the couple will have to live with the decisions they made on that holiday for the rest of their lives. It is a very sad tale which, in the circumstances, is clearly and heart-wrenchingly told.

[Kell Woods]

I'm not sure why I'm reading this... I'm not a true crime reader at all usually. I work in a library and when someone returned this book, I flicked it open and read Kate McCann's message in the front of the dust jacket... she has basically written this book as a means of making more money to fund the family's own investigation into the disappearance of Madeleine, because there is no law enforcement agency anywhere still actively searching for her. It's just heartbreaking and I felt that to put this book aside and ignore it because it's unpleasant would just be a big cop out on my part. This family is suffering and have been suffering for four years. The least I can do is read the book and acknowledge that.