“I would die again for you, Lucinda,” he murmured.
“I don’t want you to die for me. I want you to live.”
I’m always up for a damaged hero, and Robert Carroway is a prime example. He’s a former soldier, suffering from PTSD due to the atrocities of war, and lives a reclusive life in the circle of his family. He doesn’t talk much to his relatives and even less to strangers, he doesn’t go out and people say he’s not “quite right”. His PTSD symptoms—the dislike of huge crowds and close spaces, insomnia and nightmares, the panic with walls closing in, the uncontrollable shaking of his hands and body—are described very well and realistically. However, I thought it was a bit too easy for him to eventually control his attacks, but a book has only so many pages, so I suppose it’s excusable.
Robert’s war experiences are shrouded in mystery; there’s something that makes him feel guilty and weighs on his conscience. There's also some kind of problem between him and the heroine's father related to the war. The past remains in the dark for a long time and feels drawn out quite a bit. And even after the events are finally revealed, we still don't know exactly what Robert experienced during his captivity that haunts him so much. Perhaps I'm being voyeuristic, but I would have liked more details.
Lucinda is a wonderful, sweet FMC with a golden heart, but she clearly takes a backseat to Robert. It is his story that is being told here. However, Lucinda is out to chase down a husband, and unfortunately for Robert, this man is NOT him, but a fellow war hero with much more charisma, Lord Geoffrey Newcombe. Pretending to want to help Lucinda win Geoffrey over, Robert takes action and gives in to his long-time feelings for her.
I loved the main characters, the slow development of their relationship and their interactions. I loved the Carroway family (except for Edward, the pain in the ass little brother) and their unlimited support for Robert, and I loved the friendship between the three girls. What I absolutely didn’t love was the anachronistic sexual aspect of the story. One night, Robert comes to Lucinda’s room in her father’s house and deflowers her, and neither she nor he ever talks or even thinks about it again. I mean, hello? She is ruined after that, ffs. You can’t just go on and act as if nothing has happened. Especially since she still wants to marry Geoffrey at that point. Later, they even have sex in broad daylight behind the stables of Lucinda’s home, and in the end, they kiss in public, in front of her father. Sorry, but no! That’s not how you handle sexuality if you want to be taken seriously as an HR writer.
Overall, the book is still a very good read with an amazing story and great characters.