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It Had to Be You
One man, five very different women. James Hollingshurst is a man shaped by those who surround him. And in James's case, it's some very different women, be it his trusty wife Deborah, his hapless PA Marcia or his ex-girlfriend Jane. And there's one woman in James's life who looks set to upset the status quo... But a tragic accident is about to shake the bedrock of life as James knows it. An event sets a train in motion, which will challenge everything he's ever known and everyone he's ever loved. It will also bring his beloved daughter, Charlotte whom he has not seen for fifteen years, tantalisingly close to him...
400 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 2011
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146 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
April 12, 2022
Probably one genre of book which I just don’t get is comedy. Very few things make me laugh and when it’s in written form, even less. I usually end up irritated. I do believe that as a reader I have to test myself now and then and David Nobb’s It had to be you (also featured on the ever wonderful backlisted podcast) was part of that.
There are two things I do know about ‘good’ comedy. One is that it has to be rooted in pathos. If you take Howard Jacobson’s comedy novel, The Finkler Question, in which a man befriends two widowed Jews and then gets attacked, thus sparking off an identity crises, one can see that there is actually a good springboard for laughs as the man who is attacked tries to be a Jew and fails. Another example is Douglas Adams’ the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy: the main protagonist’s house is going to be bulldozed and then he is abducted and taken to outer space. Tragic yet you can get some good jokes.
The other thing about good comedy is that there isn’t a distinction between low and highbrow humor. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a fart gag, as long as it’s balanced with verbal joke which makes one think a bit.
Going by those two principles then It had to be you, theoretically works as a comedic novel, and it does. Excellently.
James Hollinghurst’s wife, Deborah, dies in a car crash. When he receives the news, he is secretly happy because he can now live with Helen, who he has been having a five year affair with. In the meantime his first girlfriend’s husband is missing and wants to reconnect with him and his secretary seems to be making advances on him, although he has to fire her as she’s incompetent.
To make matters worse, James has to organise his wife’s funeral and reunite with his extended family, some who he is dreading to meet. On top of that James has not seen his daughter for five years and his son Max lives in Canada. In short, James’ life is a mess and he has a week and a half to sort everything out by the day of Deborah’s funeral.
It had to be you explores the complex relationships people have with each other but it can also be seen as an exploration of true love and what it entails. This is all done cleverly and with a lot of humor. There’s also a tiny mystery thrown in which involves a secret lover that Deborah had (this is not a spoiler, it’s on the first page) who has his comedic moments as well.
As for the gags there’s no boundaries. One involves an erection, another about a pizza place, there’s a lot of funny conversations between James and his family, the interactions between James and his secretary are set up brilliantly. I do understand that by today’s standards, the book may seem a bit sexist, after all it’s about male pursuit and psychology but do stick with it as it’s a fun ride. It also name checks Jonathan Coe’s What a Carve Up! and puts Malta in a positive light so those were plus points.
For someone who doesn’t really laugh, I did let out quite a few and I enjoyed reading passages out loud to people, so it gets a thumbs up from me. The only downside to this book is that it’s out of print but luckily it was pretty easy for me to source a copy. We all need a laugh and this book is guaranteed to make the stoniest lips crack a smile.
There are two things I do know about ‘good’ comedy. One is that it has to be rooted in pathos. If you take Howard Jacobson’s comedy novel, The Finkler Question, in which a man befriends two widowed Jews and then gets attacked, thus sparking off an identity crises, one can see that there is actually a good springboard for laughs as the man who is attacked tries to be a Jew and fails. Another example is Douglas Adams’ the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy: the main protagonist’s house is going to be bulldozed and then he is abducted and taken to outer space. Tragic yet you can get some good jokes.
The other thing about good comedy is that there isn’t a distinction between low and highbrow humor. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a fart gag, as long as it’s balanced with verbal joke which makes one think a bit.
Going by those two principles then It had to be you, theoretically works as a comedic novel, and it does. Excellently.
James Hollinghurst’s wife, Deborah, dies in a car crash. When he receives the news, he is secretly happy because he can now live with Helen, who he has been having a five year affair with. In the meantime his first girlfriend’s husband is missing and wants to reconnect with him and his secretary seems to be making advances on him, although he has to fire her as she’s incompetent.
To make matters worse, James has to organise his wife’s funeral and reunite with his extended family, some who he is dreading to meet. On top of that James has not seen his daughter for five years and his son Max lives in Canada. In short, James’ life is a mess and he has a week and a half to sort everything out by the day of Deborah’s funeral.
It had to be you explores the complex relationships people have with each other but it can also be seen as an exploration of true love and what it entails. This is all done cleverly and with a lot of humor. There’s also a tiny mystery thrown in which involves a secret lover that Deborah had (this is not a spoiler, it’s on the first page) who has his comedic moments as well.
As for the gags there’s no boundaries. One involves an erection, another about a pizza place, there’s a lot of funny conversations between James and his family, the interactions between James and his secretary are set up brilliantly. I do understand that by today’s standards, the book may seem a bit sexist, after all it’s about male pursuit and psychology but do stick with it as it’s a fun ride. It also name checks Jonathan Coe’s What a Carve Up! and puts Malta in a positive light so those were plus points.
For someone who doesn’t really laugh, I did let out quite a few and I enjoyed reading passages out loud to people, so it gets a thumbs up from me. The only downside to this book is that it’s out of print but luckily it was pretty easy for me to source a copy. We all need a laugh and this book is guaranteed to make the stoniest lips crack a smile.
September 9, 2015
For a comedy about death, ‘It Had to Be You’ really could do with being:
a. Funnier
b. Darker
Our protagonist is that most Nobbs-ian of creations, a frustrated, middle-manager with a keen eye for the absurdity of the world around him. True, James Hollinghurst is a middle-manager on a far more global scale, but the line from Reggie Perrin to him isn’t a long one. When his wife dies suddenly, James finds himself suddenly feeling relieved with a sense of freedom, coupled with confusion and anxiety over whether people think he’s grieving in the ‘right’ way. The one emotion he doesn’t really suffer from is sadness. In another, riskier, pair of hands, this could have been a bravura and gloriously rude book: a man saying a big ‘Fuck You’ to that most sensitive of rituals, bereavement. Instead we have a staid and middle-class novel, one that sometimes dares to be a bit awkward, but actually has no more irreverence to it than your standard BBC One sitcom (which its creator might have dreamed of it being). The jokes aren’t frequent enough and don’t raise enough chortles; whilst the full enormity of death, grief and loss are only confronted in the most polite of ways. If it was willing to charge into its subject matter with devil-may-care abandon, we really might have had something here – instead this is a novel which pulls far too many punches, and has too many dead-ends (including two unsuccessfully executed whodunnits), to ever really be successful.
Bizarrely though (and this is very much a personal end-note) the town of my birth – poor, shabby, nobody’s idea of a dream destination, Bridgend, South Wales – is referenced more than once. Indeed the consummation of a couples’ relationship actually takes place in the Travelodge there, and if you can think of a less romantic location you might win a prize.
Now, the only other instance I can remember seeing Bridgend mentioned in fiction is in the same author’s ‘The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin’.
I’ve had a look online, but I cannot pinpoint the attraction (or is it desire to mock?) that Nobbs had for the place. However I did come across this fantastic Reggie Perrin excuse to his secretary for a train being delayed: “Morning Joan, 15 minutes late, escaped panther at Bridgend.”
a. Funnier
b. Darker
Our protagonist is that most Nobbs-ian of creations, a frustrated, middle-manager with a keen eye for the absurdity of the world around him. True, James Hollinghurst is a middle-manager on a far more global scale, but the line from Reggie Perrin to him isn’t a long one. When his wife dies suddenly, James finds himself suddenly feeling relieved with a sense of freedom, coupled with confusion and anxiety over whether people think he’s grieving in the ‘right’ way. The one emotion he doesn’t really suffer from is sadness. In another, riskier, pair of hands, this could have been a bravura and gloriously rude book: a man saying a big ‘Fuck You’ to that most sensitive of rituals, bereavement. Instead we have a staid and middle-class novel, one that sometimes dares to be a bit awkward, but actually has no more irreverence to it than your standard BBC One sitcom (which its creator might have dreamed of it being). The jokes aren’t frequent enough and don’t raise enough chortles; whilst the full enormity of death, grief and loss are only confronted in the most polite of ways. If it was willing to charge into its subject matter with devil-may-care abandon, we really might have had something here – instead this is a novel which pulls far too many punches, and has too many dead-ends (including two unsuccessfully executed whodunnits), to ever really be successful.
Bizarrely though (and this is very much a personal end-note) the town of my birth – poor, shabby, nobody’s idea of a dream destination, Bridgend, South Wales – is referenced more than once. Indeed the consummation of a couples’ relationship actually takes place in the Travelodge there, and if you can think of a less romantic location you might win a prize.
Now, the only other instance I can remember seeing Bridgend mentioned in fiction is in the same author’s ‘The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin’.
I’ve had a look online, but I cannot pinpoint the attraction (or is it desire to mock?) that Nobbs had for the place. However I did come across this fantastic Reggie Perrin excuse to his secretary for a train being delayed: “Morning Joan, 15 minutes late, escaped panther at Bridgend.”
January 15, 2013
I have to say I agree with another reviewer upon this site who states that there is so much more to David Nobbs than just being "probably our finest comic novelist" as Jonathan Coe has stated of him (Sorry, "probably"?? There is no probably about it - he is our finest comic novelist) This book is warm, witty, has some great comic moments, some echoes of Reggie Perrin, but above all it is full of wisdom. From the moment that James Hollinghurst arrives at the end of that initial car journey and Deborah Hollinghurst fails to arrive at hers, we are living James's dilemmas with him. Sometimes I liked him a lot. Sometimes I didn't like him very much at all. But this did not, however, in any way mar my reading experience. It takes a novelist of great talent and wisdom to create characters who are so fully rounded that they appear so utterly human to us - so human that they can reflect what we ourselves are, i.e. not just one person, but many persons throughout the course of even just one day. In short, I adored this book. It made me laugh a lot. Unexpectedly, it made me cry twice (and you don't get that very often from your run of the mill comic novelist).
However, I should append a footnote of warning to this review. I've been a fan of David Nobbs since I read the Reggie Perrin series at 17 years' old. After I read "Second from Last in the Sack Race" I was hooked. In confess, I love anything by David Nobbs. It's a bit like the time I went to see Green Day - my husband asked me how they were and I told him they were fantastic. But then I love them so much that if they'd played their own shoelaces for three hours I would have thought they were fantastic. See what I'm saying? All I can say is I loved this book. I'm sure you will too.
However, I should append a footnote of warning to this review. I've been a fan of David Nobbs since I read the Reggie Perrin series at 17 years' old. After I read "Second from Last in the Sack Race" I was hooked. In confess, I love anything by David Nobbs. It's a bit like the time I went to see Green Day - my husband asked me how they were and I told him they were fantastic. But then I love them so much that if they'd played their own shoelaces for three hours I would have thought they were fantastic. See what I'm saying? All I can say is I loved this book. I'm sure you will too.
December 29, 2011
I hadn't realized this was by the same author as "Reginald Perrin" and am now motivated to go and find these books (fond memories of the TV series).
The story starts with the death of the protagonist James's wife - and the author brings humor to this in a way only the British can: embarrassment from his friends who ask if he could possibly not make the funeral on Thursday as they have tickets to the semis in Wimbledon; James wondering who will do the ironing now and maybe he could take it round to his mistress. However the story is not farcical - and as we follow James through the week he becomes a fuller person, reflecting on the different relationships in his family. One of my favourite scenes was the piano recital given by his talented concert pianist older brother on the eve of the funeral. Half the family are fighting sleep and James is heroically trying to listen to the music. Reminded me of many concerts I've been invited to (she likes music - let's invite her to a concert - yes I do like music but I like listening to it on my own terms: in the car or in the kitchen while I'm cooking. What I don't like is being strapped to a chair for 45 minutes unable to cough, dance, cook, read or anything other than appreciate the sublime sublimities of the music.. Anyway I've always felt like a complete philistine for such thoughts and it was great to see David Nobbs putting it all in paper for me with this scene)
The story starts with the death of the protagonist James's wife - and the author brings humor to this in a way only the British can: embarrassment from his friends who ask if he could possibly not make the funeral on Thursday as they have tickets to the semis in Wimbledon; James wondering who will do the ironing now and maybe he could take it round to his mistress. However the story is not farcical - and as we follow James through the week he becomes a fuller person, reflecting on the different relationships in his family. One of my favourite scenes was the piano recital given by his talented concert pianist older brother on the eve of the funeral. Half the family are fighting sleep and James is heroically trying to listen to the music. Reminded me of many concerts I've been invited to (she likes music - let's invite her to a concert - yes I do like music but I like listening to it on my own terms: in the car or in the kitchen while I'm cooking. What I don't like is being strapped to a chair for 45 minutes unable to cough, dance, cook, read or anything other than appreciate the sublime sublimities of the music.. Anyway I've always felt like a complete philistine for such thoughts and it was great to see David Nobbs putting it all in paper for me with this scene)
December 23, 2012
One of Nobbs' best - his characters are real, flawed people with real flawes relationships.
It is Nobb's stunning writing that will make you care for a man who has cheated on his wife, and the complicated aftermath of her death.
This is a powerful depiction of grief - in times when we are encouraged to sign books of condolence for people we've never known, and weep for tragedies that are far, far removed from our lives - when so many people grieve via the Internet because they want to feel something, this is a realistic look at grief.
Its about how seeing the flaws is not a sign of disrespect, and about how being realistic about it is a strength of character not a lack of sympathy.
Some people think Nick Hornby is a good writer - they need to read some David Nobbs.
It is Nobb's stunning writing that will make you care for a man who has cheated on his wife, and the complicated aftermath of her death.
This is a powerful depiction of grief - in times when we are encouraged to sign books of condolence for people we've never known, and weep for tragedies that are far, far removed from our lives - when so many people grieve via the Internet because they want to feel something, this is a realistic look at grief.
Its about how seeing the flaws is not a sign of disrespect, and about how being realistic about it is a strength of character not a lack of sympathy.
Some people think Nick Hornby is a good writer - they need to read some David Nobbs.
February 28, 2014
How do the English deal with loss? James loses his wife in a car accident. She was on her way to her lover and he had been having an affair for five years. Then there is the family: his brothers, their mother and of course Deborah's family. The book shows people for what they really are: self centered. Great dialogue.
April 12, 2024
A very strong final act gave this humanist novel the soul it much needed after its humorist but slightly spiritless first half.
The story takes place inside and near to a middle-aged British man's head -- James Hollinghirst's to be precise, who has a career in packaging, finds himself in another-woman-than-his-wife-Deborah's panties, works himself into a lather when he hears that wife is killed in a car crash, misjudges a vicar, solves a murder, reconnects with a lost daughter, and ends up in a humanist revelation after all of Pandora's demons are put back in their box nicely and tightly (James is a professional, after all) leading to James pondering life, death and infidelity in a heartfelt inner monologue that is, after everything, inspiring to read. When the funeral proceedings are finally over and the book's ten-day timeframe is finished, James is truly a different man. The story makes that arch beautifully. What a throw!
Recommended to anyone who likes those behind-the-scenes documentaries on YouTube of British classic comedy TV shows (somehow, the vibes are very similar).
The story takes place inside and near to a middle-aged British man's head -- James Hollinghirst's to be precise, who has a career in packaging, finds himself in another-woman-than-his-wife-Deborah's panties, works himself into a lather when he hears that wife is killed in a car crash, misjudges a vicar, solves a murder, reconnects with a lost daughter, and ends up in a humanist revelation after all of Pandora's demons are put back in their box nicely and tightly (James is a professional, after all) leading to James pondering life, death and infidelity in a heartfelt inner monologue that is, after everything, inspiring to read. When the funeral proceedings are finally over and the book's ten-day timeframe is finished, James is truly a different man. The story makes that arch beautifully. What a throw!
Recommended to anyone who likes those behind-the-scenes documentaries on YouTube of British classic comedy TV shows (somehow, the vibes are very similar).
August 11, 2012
I really wanted to like this book more than I did. The storyline is cliché'd, most (but not all) of the characters are predictable and dull, and I knew how the main character would evolve emotionally and personally in the beginning of the book, which is a bit disappointing. I generally disliked the main character, James Hollinghurst, from start to end. I suspect the reader is supposed to find him whiny, unsympathetic and pathetic in the beginning, but even his strained transition to a "better person" bothered me. His last epiphanies about life, death and the universe were clichés and boring.
The relationship with his wife could also have been explored much more deeply than it was. Instead, their relationship, their past, their flaws, were just mentioned briefly, more as a commentary, before the main character got back to moaning about how difficult his life was and how much he needed a drink, and oh, all those women in his life he had to deal with, most of whom he had slept with, or wanted to sleep with, or who wanted to sleep with him. In general I found that the book lacked depth, and some character descriptions and actions seemed random, pointless or vague.
It's fairly well-written, though I don't understand why it's been labelled "comedy" as much as it has. I found the narrative to be more annoying than funny. The amounts of "Oh God", "Oh darling" and "Oh" in general had me rolling my eyes. But I did like that the entire story was started and finished in about a week. It's impressive what can happen to a person in a week.
All that said, the book does have its good points. I thought the plot twists involving some of the minor characters were more interesting than the main story. Some of the minor characters also had much more depth and personality than the main character.
Two stars because it at least kept me entertained during my commute, and I did actually want to find out what happened at the end. I don't think I'll be picking up more books by this author though.
The relationship with his wife could also have been explored much more deeply than it was. Instead, their relationship, their past, their flaws, were just mentioned briefly, more as a commentary, before the main character got back to moaning about how difficult his life was and how much he needed a drink, and oh, all those women in his life he had to deal with, most of whom he had slept with, or wanted to sleep with, or who wanted to sleep with him. In general I found that the book lacked depth, and some character descriptions and actions seemed random, pointless or vague.
It's fairly well-written, though I don't understand why it's been labelled "comedy" as much as it has. I found the narrative to be more annoying than funny. The amounts of "Oh God", "Oh darling" and "Oh" in general had me rolling my eyes. But I did like that the entire story was started and finished in about a week. It's impressive what can happen to a person in a week.
All that said, the book does have its good points. I thought the plot twists involving some of the minor characters were more interesting than the main story. Some of the minor characters also had much more depth and personality than the main character.
Two stars because it at least kept me entertained during my commute, and I did actually want to find out what happened at the end. I don't think I'll be picking up more books by this author though.
March 14, 2013
After seeing the TV series A Bit of a Do, I was impressed enough to see what other shows the writer had done and found that in addition to several TV series, David Nobbs (surely a pseudonym?) has written eighteen novels. His latest was priced to sell on kindle so I bought it and was hooked right away.
Generally, I shy away from literary fiction, finding that while a good author can get you hooked and sustain a novel, satisfying endings seem to be elusive. By satisfying, I don't mean it has to be a happy ending or one with all the strings tied at the end, but one that makes sense and is actually an ending, rather than the story just petering out.
It Had to Be You fit the bill. The opening was gripping, I wanted to know what happened next, and there was even a bit of a mystery that had me guessing wrong right up to the big reveal. The ending was believable and yes, satisfying.
I will be reading more of David Nobbs, and soon.
Generally, I shy away from literary fiction, finding that while a good author can get you hooked and sustain a novel, satisfying endings seem to be elusive. By satisfying, I don't mean it has to be a happy ending or one with all the strings tied at the end, but one that makes sense and is actually an ending, rather than the story just petering out.
It Had to Be You fit the bill. The opening was gripping, I wanted to know what happened next, and there was even a bit of a mystery that had me guessing wrong right up to the big reveal. The ending was believable and yes, satisfying.
I will be reading more of David Nobbs, and soon.
November 10, 2013
Life in suburbia, or Islington at any rate, is something David Nobbs does so well.... and yet for the longest time, while reading and enjoying this book, I was asking myself why.... What is the book actually for? The jokes seemed a little forced, the repetitions of certain phrases cliched, the main character a bit of a bastard, but only a bit. But then all the threads are drawn together so skilfully, and movingly, and the last 50 pages or so are so poignant.... Very good.
December 25, 2016
It Had to Be You is a really effective comic-tragedy by David Nobbs, famous for Reggie Perrin, reworking his collapse of an ineffectual middle class man under crisis. It is funny throughout, surprisingly moving, and the twists, when they happen, are unlikely, but well-layered. I found this novel supremely readable and one of the most purely enjoyable books I have read this year. Nobbs has such an ease.
January 23, 2014
I shouldn't have liked this book. I should be describing it here as sappy, sugary soft-porn for "men of a certain age" (see my Thursdays in the Park review), yet like it I did! It's well-written, which certainly helps. And I enjoyed the pacing, the honesty of the narrator's journey and our anti-hero's final deliverance.
September 7, 2011
Gentle and funny. With some philosophical asides.
January 27, 2013
Good. Well written, well-drawn characters, nice twist. Echoes of Reggie Perrin, but no worse for that.
March 21, 2016
Listen to Jonathan Coe talking about 'It Had To Be You' on the Backlisted podcast here: https://soundcloud.com/backlistedpod/...
August 18, 2024
Late period David Nobbs is the sad and pathetic wheezing of a crusty sexist pig who really believes that he's the funniest guy in the room, but who doesn't seem to understand that he is now leering and predictable. There are a few flashes here of what made the Reginald Perrin books largely enjoyable: the crisp prose and the repetitive humor (such as the protagonist waking up each morning to find the nonexistent contours of his dead wife). But this is Reggie Lite. And, by Reggie Lite, I'm talking about the lesser Reggie books. The protagonist is named James Hollinghurst and there's a part of me that wonders if Nobbs named his hero after a much greater writer because he knew he was washed up. Hollinghurst is banal and uninteresting: a businessman in his late forties who improbably believes that every woman will sleep with him. As usual, the women characters here serve as Lothario objects and have very little agency. But the novel's aura is deeply unsettling. It doesn't have anything witty or wise to say about grief. It tries to shoehorn a murder subplot at the last minute, but this only worsens and coarsens the book. And this is just very bad and very vapid.
December 18, 2017
I picked this up because I knew I recognized the author's name. If I had remembered why, I'd have put it back on the shelf! The hero of this book isn't a million miles from Reggie Perrin - and I'm never likely to get enthusiastic about a story with a cheating, lying, self-centred whinger as its hero. James is a man who's been stringing some poor woman along as his mistress for five long years - then as soon as his wife dies, he dumps her. He feels terrible about it, of course, poor man. Personally I felt sorry Helen didn't carry through with her threat of turning up at the funeral.
Of course, the book is all about his personal journey to redemption but I didn't feel he deserved it.
Nothing wrong with the writing, and there were some astute observations of modern life. I just never liked most of the characters.
Of course, the book is all about his personal journey to redemption but I didn't feel he deserved it.
Nothing wrong with the writing, and there were some astute observations of modern life. I just never liked most of the characters.
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January 5, 2025leuk boekje voor tussendoor :)
August 7, 2016
A story about grief - and about your relatives being a bunch of self-centred bastards. Didn't seem mortifyingly dark or melancholy enough for Reggie Perrin's David Nobbs. Acely humanist though.
And now I'm suddenly thinking about Reggie Perrin - which I used to watch when I was a kid (in the seventies).
And now I'm suddenly thinking about Reggie Perrin - which I used to watch when I was a kid (in the seventies).
April 18, 2013
I listened to the audiobook of this in the car over the course of a week. I think my main problem with the book was that I just didn't like the main character, though perhaps older readers may sympathise with him more.
October 31, 2012
I don't give up on many books but I gave up on this one. It's s***e.
April 1, 2014
Slow and rather tedious and the "twist" was obvious from the start. Not one of his best
December 17, 2013
Light. Fluffy. Mildly amusing.
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July 30, 2015nice read. no more no less
April 21, 2017
Surprisingly dark but brutally funny and yet in many ways could be an alternate universe Perrin if he didnt have his love for Elizabeth. As with everything David Nobbs wrote, hugely recommended.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews