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We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle
Why couldn't the Sopranos survive living down South? Simple. You can't shoot a guy full of holes after eating chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes.
What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce? When Daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks. Again.
What is the Southern woman's opinion of a new "fat virus" theory? Bring it on! We've got a lot of skinny friends we need to sneeze on.
Want to become honest-to-Jesus white trash? Spend two weeks' salary on hair extensions and pancake makeup for your three-year-old so she can win a five-dollar trophy in the Wee Tiny Miss pageant and the adoration of, well, nobody much.
What does the Southern woman think of Paul McCartney's marriage to a model thirty years younger? We're not surprised. Statistically speaking, it's almost impossible for billionaires to discover that their soulmates are fifty-five and restocking the shampoo end caps at Kmart.
In this wickedly funny follow-up to her bestselling Bless Your Heart, Tramp, Celia Rivenbark welcomes you, once again, to the south she loves, the land of "Mama and them's," "precious and dahlin," and mommies who mow. Ya'll come back now, you hear.
What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce? When Daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks. Again.
What is the Southern woman's opinion of a new "fat virus" theory? Bring it on! We've got a lot of skinny friends we need to sneeze on.
Want to become honest-to-Jesus white trash? Spend two weeks' salary on hair extensions and pancake makeup for your three-year-old so she can win a five-dollar trophy in the Wee Tiny Miss pageant and the adoration of, well, nobody much.
What does the Southern woman think of Paul McCartney's marriage to a model thirty years younger? We're not surprised. Statistically speaking, it's almost impossible for billionaires to discover that their soulmates are fifty-five and restocking the shampoo end caps at Kmart.
In this wickedly funny follow-up to her bestselling Bless Your Heart, Tramp, Celia Rivenbark welcomes you, once again, to the south she loves, the land of "Mama and them's," "precious and dahlin," and mommies who mow. Ya'll come back now, you hear.
289 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2004
131 people are currently reading
3518 people want to read
About the author
Celia Rivenbark
11 books462 followersCelia Rivenbark was born and raised in Duplin County, NC, which had the distinction of being the nation's number 1 producer of hogs and turkeys during a brief, magical moment in the early 1980s.
Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats. Her grandparents' house, just across the ditch, had the first indoor plumbing in Teachey, NC and family lore swears that people came from miles around just to watch the toilet flush.
Despite this proud plumbing tradition, Celia grew up without a washer and dryer. On every Sunday afternoon of her childhood, while her mama rested up from preparing a fried chicken and sweet potato casserole lunch, she, her sister and her daddy rode to the laundromat two miles away to do the weekly wash.
It was at this laundromat, where a carefully lettered sign reminded customers that management was "NOT RESONSIBLE" for lost items, that Celia shirked "resonsibility" her own self and snuck away to read the big, fat Sunday News & Observer out of Raleigh, NC. By age 7, she'd decided to be a newspaper reporter.
Late nights, she'd listen to the feed trucks rattle by on the highway and she'd go to sleep wondering what exotic cities those noisy trucks would be in by morning (Richmond? Atlanta? Charlotte?) Their headlights crawling across the walls of her little pink bedroom at the edge of a soybean field were like constellations pointing the way to a bigger life, a better place, a place where there wasn't so much turkey shit everywhere.
After a couple of years of college, Celia went to work for her hometown paper, the Wallace, NC Enterprise. The locals loved to say, as they renewed their "perscriptions," that "you can eat a pot of rice and read the Enterprise and go to bed with nothing on your stomach and nothing on your mind."
Mebbe. But Celia loved the Enterprise. Where else could you cover a dead body being hauled out of the river (alcohol was once again a contributing factor) in the morning and then write up weddings in the afternoon?
After eight years, however, taking front-page photos of the publisher shaking hands with other fez-wearing Shriners and tomatoes shaped like male "ginny-talia" was losing its appeal.
Celia went to work for the Wilmington, NC Morning Star after a savvy features editor was charmed by a lead paragraph in an Enterprise story about the rare birth of a mule: "Her mother was a nag and her father was a jackass."
The Morning Star was no News and Observer but it came out every day and Celia got to write weddings for 55,000 readers instead of 3,500, plus she got a paycheck every two weeks with that nifty New York Times logo on it.
After an unfortunate stint as a copy editor - her ass expanded to a good six ax handles across - Celia started writing a weekly humor column that fulfilled her lifelong dream of being paid to be a smart ass. Along the way, she won a bunch of press awards, including a national health journalism award - hilarious when you consider she's never met a steamed vegetable she could keep down.
Having met and married a cute guy in sports, Celia found herself happily knocked up at age 40 and, after 21 years, she quit newspapering to stay home with her new baby girl.
After a year or so, she started using Sophie's two-hour naps to write a humor column from the mommie front lines for the Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. The column continues to run weekly and is syndicated by the McClatchy-Tribune News Services.
In 2000, Coastal Carolina Press published a collection of Celia's columns. A Southeast Book Sellers Association best-seller, Bless Your Heart, Tramp was nominated for the James Thurber Prize in 2001. David Sedaris won. He wins everything.
http://us.macmillan.com/author/celiar...
Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats. Her grandparents' house, just across the ditch, had the first indoor plumbing in Teachey, NC and family lore swears that people came from miles around just to watch the toilet flush.
Despite this proud plumbing tradition, Celia grew up without a washer and dryer. On every Sunday afternoon of her childhood, while her mama rested up from preparing a fried chicken and sweet potato casserole lunch, she, her sister and her daddy rode to the laundromat two miles away to do the weekly wash.
It was at this laundromat, where a carefully lettered sign reminded customers that management was "NOT RESONSIBLE" for lost items, that Celia shirked "resonsibility" her own self and snuck away to read the big, fat Sunday News & Observer out of Raleigh, NC. By age 7, she'd decided to be a newspaper reporter.
Late nights, she'd listen to the feed trucks rattle by on the highway and she'd go to sleep wondering what exotic cities those noisy trucks would be in by morning (Richmond? Atlanta? Charlotte?) Their headlights crawling across the walls of her little pink bedroom at the edge of a soybean field were like constellations pointing the way to a bigger life, a better place, a place where there wasn't so much turkey shit everywhere.
After a couple of years of college, Celia went to work for her hometown paper, the Wallace, NC Enterprise. The locals loved to say, as they renewed their "perscriptions," that "you can eat a pot of rice and read the Enterprise and go to bed with nothing on your stomach and nothing on your mind."
Mebbe. But Celia loved the Enterprise. Where else could you cover a dead body being hauled out of the river (alcohol was once again a contributing factor) in the morning and then write up weddings in the afternoon?
After eight years, however, taking front-page photos of the publisher shaking hands with other fez-wearing Shriners and tomatoes shaped like male "ginny-talia" was losing its appeal.
Celia went to work for the Wilmington, NC Morning Star after a savvy features editor was charmed by a lead paragraph in an Enterprise story about the rare birth of a mule: "Her mother was a nag and her father was a jackass."
The Morning Star was no News and Observer but it came out every day and Celia got to write weddings for 55,000 readers instead of 3,500, plus she got a paycheck every two weeks with that nifty New York Times logo on it.
After an unfortunate stint as a copy editor - her ass expanded to a good six ax handles across - Celia started writing a weekly humor column that fulfilled her lifelong dream of being paid to be a smart ass. Along the way, she won a bunch of press awards, including a national health journalism award - hilarious when you consider she's never met a steamed vegetable she could keep down.
Having met and married a cute guy in sports, Celia found herself happily knocked up at age 40 and, after 21 years, she quit newspapering to stay home with her new baby girl.
After a year or so, she started using Sophie's two-hour naps to write a humor column from the mommie front lines for the Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. The column continues to run weekly and is syndicated by the McClatchy-Tribune News Services.
In 2000, Coastal Carolina Press published a collection of Celia's columns. A Southeast Book Sellers Association best-seller, Bless Your Heart, Tramp was nominated for the James Thurber Prize in 2001. David Sedaris won. He wins everything.
http://us.macmillan.com/author/celiar...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 451 reviews
June 12, 2024
This was a thrift store find that I happily gambled a quarter on due to the title that immediately called an old favorite to mind . . . .
Of course I never read it because why would I ever read things I own???? However, I am a big fan of humorous essays and my ride-or-die here is a true Southern belle so when I was perusing the Hoopla looking for an audiobook to check out I snatched it right up.
I had no idea of the original publication date having only purchased this a couple of years ago, but unfortunately it has aged like milk in the 20 years since it originally came out. Rivenbark was apparently one of a handful of original “mommy bloggers” who contributed to the local newspaper (insert youngsters asking what are those?!?!?!) back in the day. Had I known this collection would feature not only outdated material, but a heaping helping of “aint’ she sweet” tales of child-rearing I would have steered clear. I am more than happy to admit I only enjoy my own children . . . . and I made sure to NOT be one of those people who overshared every unremarkable thing both little Billy and Bobby did whilst marking their milestones.
Also, Neil Diamond is a natural treasure so anyone who dares besmirch his name can kindly kiss my grits. And also 2.0, every woman I know who is roughly my age wants to bang the bearded middle-aged Marshall Mathers (and some of us even named one of our cats after him) so take that, Boomer . . . .
(Oh and since this was on audio: I don’t know if it was because I am old and need to crank things up to eleventy to hear or the recording or the reader, but OH MY GOD THE MOUTH NOISES! Y’all know what I’m talking about, right? Like a smacky sort of noise while she opened her mouth before speaking? Barf!)
Of course I never read it because why would I ever read things I own???? However, I am a big fan of humorous essays and my ride-or-die here is a true Southern belle so when I was perusing the Hoopla looking for an audiobook to check out I snatched it right up.
I had no idea of the original publication date having only purchased this a couple of years ago, but unfortunately it has aged like milk in the 20 years since it originally came out. Rivenbark was apparently one of a handful of original “mommy bloggers” who contributed to the local newspaper (insert youngsters asking what are those?!?!?!) back in the day. Had I known this collection would feature not only outdated material, but a heaping helping of “aint’ she sweet” tales of child-rearing I would have steered clear. I am more than happy to admit I only enjoy my own children . . . . and I made sure to NOT be one of those people who overshared every unremarkable thing both little Billy and Bobby did whilst marking their milestones.
Also, Neil Diamond is a natural treasure so anyone who dares besmirch his name can kindly kiss my grits. And also 2.0, every woman I know who is roughly my age wants to bang the bearded middle-aged Marshall Mathers (and some of us even named one of our cats after him) so take that, Boomer . . . .
(Oh and since this was on audio: I don’t know if it was because I am old and need to crank things up to eleventy to hear or the recording or the reader, but OH MY GOD THE MOUTH NOISES! Y’all know what I’m talking about, right? Like a smacky sort of noise while she opened her mouth before speaking? Barf!)
November 7, 2010
I'm one of those "Cover Judgers" who absolutely does not agree that you can't judge a book by one. I happened upon this one completely by accident and am so glad that I did. I think that this is one of those books that if you're from the South or you have Southern relatives, you will laugh hysterically because you can totally relate to this stuff. If you're not, or you don't, there's a good chance that you'll probably be thinking, "What the hell?"
May 9, 2025
Outdated and mundane. Maybe you have to be from the South to appreciate this, but good humor is generally universal, and I didn't laugh once. The only thing I liked about it was the title because I like the Miranda Lambert song.
February 9, 2010
This was one of the funniest books I have read in a long time. I guess it amused me because I can relate to so many of the stories. Living in Alabama, I can see these people in my own town and at my local grocery store. The moms are the same moms at my kid's school. It was just too great! Some of the stories made me laugh so hard I though sweet tea would spew out my nose because I was sure she was discussing my family members.
Great quick read and highly entertaining. Anyone who wants a peek into the life some Southern ladies lead, you have to read this one. It is a tongue in cheek hoot.
Great quick read and highly entertaining. Anyone who wants a peek into the life some Southern ladies lead, you have to read this one. It is a tongue in cheek hoot.
May 20, 2012
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Ah am from South Carolina, lived here mah whole life. Ah know some of these here people. Ah might even resemble summa this. :)
Don't take this book too seriously (or yourself for that matter). It's a joke, people, it's also a social commentary....but it's a joke!!
Ah am from South Carolina, lived here mah whole life. Ah know some of these here people. Ah might even resemble summa this. :)
Don't take this book too seriously (or yourself for that matter). It's a joke, people, it's also a social commentary....but it's a joke!!
July 20, 2010
Just started this book. I love this author already and would love to go and enjoy some good food together.
I love these from chapter 4:
"Southern women are, frankly harder working. We are obsessively devoted to horticulture and far more aware of natural beauty. We aren't ashamed to have dirt from the garden embedded in the prongs of our 3-carat diamond engagement rings."
"A Yankee friend of mine once remarked that the one thing she couldn't understand was why so many Southern women mow their own grass. Well, of course we do. We are precious and dahlin' in our straw mowing hats. And don't you forget it, sugah."
I love these from chapter 4:
"Southern women are, frankly harder working. We are obsessively devoted to horticulture and far more aware of natural beauty. We aren't ashamed to have dirt from the garden embedded in the prongs of our 3-carat diamond engagement rings."
"A Yankee friend of mine once remarked that the one thing she couldn't understand was why so many Southern women mow their own grass. Well, of course we do. We are precious and dahlin' in our straw mowing hats. And don't you forget it, sugah."
May 21, 2015
This book has helped me get through some rough days at work. It's very funny and sometimes expresses what I am feeling very well, at other times we disagree but we can still be friends. Our differences remind us that we live in this wonderful country that allows us to think and feel what we want.
July 1, 2011
I'll bet that anyone who is knee high to a grasshopper could write a better book--if the person really wanted to waste time pushin pencils and paper. Looks like the author had a handful of good quips and without shame, stretched it into a watered down stream of consciousness exercise. It was marketing genius in creating the book title and equally catchy chapter titles that probably drew folks to buy it.
Her hipster self betrays her nonSoutherness when she discusses arugula ("natch"). Ha! Got fancy with all that Arugula (natch). It's iceberg lettuce all the way when you're a real Southerner (natch). Perhaps some Southerners are leaf connoisseurs, but I use the sophistication of salad greens as an example of the disharmony in the book's theme. It appears that the author can't decide if she's the Southerner, the granola girl, the hipster, or the middle aged woman giving sage advice.
Her storylines and other characters are equally incongruent. If she grew up Southern, then why the unexplained generalization of her high school reunion attendees as Granolas? Is her husband a redneck or a sophisticated Southern gentleman? One minute she's telling us about the man researching the latest birthing techniques ---which no true Southern man would be caught DEAD doin-- and in the next minute, he's happy with his hands in his pants watching the big ole newfangled tv set.
I realize characters, like real people, are complex but the book proclaims to give us a look at the "Southern" gal-- it fails to deliver.
Her hipster self betrays her nonSoutherness when she discusses arugula ("natch"). Ha! Got fancy with all that Arugula (natch). It's iceberg lettuce all the way when you're a real Southerner (natch). Perhaps some Southerners are leaf connoisseurs, but I use the sophistication of salad greens as an example of the disharmony in the book's theme. It appears that the author can't decide if she's the Southerner, the granola girl, the hipster, or the middle aged woman giving sage advice.
Her storylines and other characters are equally incongruent. If she grew up Southern, then why the unexplained generalization of her high school reunion attendees as Granolas? Is her husband a redneck or a sophisticated Southern gentleman? One minute she's telling us about the man researching the latest birthing techniques ---which no true Southern man would be caught DEAD doin-- and in the next minute, he's happy with his hands in his pants watching the big ole newfangled tv set.
I realize characters, like real people, are complex but the book proclaims to give us a look at the "Southern" gal-- it fails to deliver.
August 6, 2014
Another excellent collection of essays from Celia Rivenbark. I never get tired of her sarcastic sense of humor and blunt honesty. Fun and easy read!
May 25, 2010
When Stacey tweeted that she had just read a book called "We're Just Like You, Only Prettier," I replied back, I need to read that. She said the book was hilarious and that I could borrow it. After doing a little research, I found out that Celia Rivenbark is a NC Native, and grew up in Duplin County. If you haven't figured it out yet, I love local authors, so I was excited to find another one to add to the list.
The book, subtitled "Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle," is a collection of hilarious essays about everyday life from the prospective of a Southern woman. Just reading the table of contents, I found myself laughing out loud at the chapter titles. Once I started reading, I was not disappointed. Any book that compares Southern women to collard greens in the introduction is a winner in my mind.
This was a quick read, probably because I didn't want to stop reading. Because it is written as essays, it is easy to read for a while, put down and pick back up. Even though Rivenbark is Southern (and it certainly comes out in her writing) the topics discussed in the book will appeal to women everywhere. You just might have to get a Southerner to translate parts for you. I would definitely recommend this book. Rivenbark has published a total of 5 books, and I can't wait to read the other 4.
The book, subtitled "Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle," is a collection of hilarious essays about everyday life from the prospective of a Southern woman. Just reading the table of contents, I found myself laughing out loud at the chapter titles. Once I started reading, I was not disappointed. Any book that compares Southern women to collard greens in the introduction is a winner in my mind.
This was a quick read, probably because I didn't want to stop reading. Because it is written as essays, it is easy to read for a while, put down and pick back up. Even though Rivenbark is Southern (and it certainly comes out in her writing) the topics discussed in the book will appeal to women everywhere. You just might have to get a Southerner to translate parts for you. I would definitely recommend this book. Rivenbark has published a total of 5 books, and I can't wait to read the other 4.
June 3, 2010
And this, my friends, is exactly why I liked it:
"I thought this was going to be a book about the south and how cute and funny we are. It's not. It's about the new south that has had the south beaten out of it and homogenized beyond recognition by someone who has been not raised by parents but by a big screen TV, magazines and what she has bought into that passes as women's lib. This unnecessarily potty mouthed woman has every tired joke, reference and scenario that you have heard before. The book is outdated and I hardly cracked a smile the whole way through after about the 2nd chapter. If you love being grossed out and think everything your play group does and your gal pals talk about especially their children then this book might be funny to you. If you are looking for sophisticated humor it won't be here. There is very little to relate to here if you actually are Southern, and don't just happen to live here."
-Courtesy of ddemarin@mindspring.com at Amazon.com.
And by the by, I knew "Bless your heart" was really a putdown! Also, I did throw up a little in my mouth when I Googled potted meat. That can't be good for you.
"I thought this was going to be a book about the south and how cute and funny we are. It's not. It's about the new south that has had the south beaten out of it and homogenized beyond recognition by someone who has been not raised by parents but by a big screen TV, magazines and what she has bought into that passes as women's lib. This unnecessarily potty mouthed woman has every tired joke, reference and scenario that you have heard before. The book is outdated and I hardly cracked a smile the whole way through after about the 2nd chapter. If you love being grossed out and think everything your play group does and your gal pals talk about especially their children then this book might be funny to you. If you are looking for sophisticated humor it won't be here. There is very little to relate to here if you actually are Southern, and don't just happen to live here."
-Courtesy of ddemarin@mindspring.com at Amazon.com.
And by the by, I knew "Bless your heart" was really a putdown! Also, I did throw up a little in my mouth when I Googled potted meat. That can't be good for you.
October 19, 2012
I can say with easy certainty that if I ever met the author of this book I would dislike her, intensely. How can I know that for sure? I know tons of women just like her and can't stand any of them. She's so smug and ass backwards elitist that it made me want to throttle her half the time. It boils down to the idea that she's not hoity toity so she's better than everyone else. Somehow not eating caviar and Grey Poupon while driving a single child around in a gas guzzling SUV makes her the greatest person alive. If you're a man and you do anything other than things real 'Mercan men do like drinkin' beer and watchin' baseball on giant tv's then you're, "as gay as JC Penny ads". Oh and gender related smarts are apparently a thing in her world because she has a "girl math brain" which means she can't figure out what $145 times twelve is but men have no common sense period. I gave a two out of five because she can turn a phrase and I laughed a few times but this woman has a seriously whacked view of the world.
September 2, 2012
I was really hoping to be laughing out loud a lot, and I sort of chuckled a couple times, but this wasn't as funny as I was hoping it would be. On the plus side, I forgot that this book was from a southern perspective in many of the chapters, showing how women everywhere have the same complaints about children, gossip, men and life in general. But there were a lot of phrases and references I didn't get. I had my handy-dandy smartphone next to me to look up random southern preachers or bathing suit styles she was referring to, but a lot of her phrases were lost to me. And were, amazingly, not in urban dictionary. This book was written in 2003, so I laughed at some of the pop culture references I've forgotten about. And the author has a great sense of sarcasm. I will read some more of her memoirs and give her another couple of chances to really get me, as the cover quote said, "snorting in an unbecoming fashion."
June 15, 2009
The title made me laugh out loud at the library so I picked it up. I was further heartened by the endorsement on the front from Haven Kimmel (author of A Girl Named Zippy, which is hilarious). It was funny overall, and parts did make me giggle. She uses a lot of southern speak, which is hard for me to understand at times. Her titles of the chapters were almost funnier than what was in it, like "Stop watching your plasma TV and start selling your plasma!" and "And what did you have for breakfast dear? Tell the preschool Nazis you had waffles and eggs 'stead of juicy fruit and a Coke, okay?" It is a little vulgar at times, as is most humor, but that is why I laugh :)
November 11, 2013
There are book club discussion questions at the back of this book. Seriously? Rivenbark is basically a Southern female Dave Barry. The whole book is comprised of amusing little essays. If this is your book club pick, I'm certain your book club is more interested in wine, snacks, and gossip than actually discussing a book.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the essays well enough. I chuckled a few times and smiled a number of others. The essays are also short enough that you can gobble one down easily enough in between moderating squabbles, cleaning up messes, and changing diapers. But don't expect any revelations about life, the universe, and everything.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the essays well enough. I chuckled a few times and smiled a number of others. The essays are also short enough that you can gobble one down easily enough in between moderating squabbles, cleaning up messes, and changing diapers. But don't expect any revelations about life, the universe, and everything.
April 5, 2009
i LOVED the first half of this book. I just wanted to buy a duble wide, a fried sickers, move down to atlanta and meet matty and nikki at the waffle house. but the second half of the book seemed to really stray from southerners to just people and things in general. i felt like she lost her purpose, or got writers block half way through. loved loved loved the first half. totally laughed out loud while reading it!!!
August 25, 2011
Rivenbark is full of hilarious southern “charm” aka biting and incredibly entertaining sarcasm. Unfortunately her books aren’t timeless – some chapters are relevant but others are outdated – such as criticisms of Anna Nicole Smith’s tv show. I recommend that you find one of her newer books – I’m going to, because she seriously cracks me up even if some of her material was (as a polite southern belle might put it) “vintage.”
August 1, 2010
Love love love this book. It's absolutely hilarious, and coming from a small Southern town, I am totally able to relate to the majority of the stories she tells in this book. It kept me laughing the whole time. Celia Rivenbark is truly talented and keeps a conversational tone throughout the whole book.
November 25, 2015
This, too, earns the descriptor of "fart knocker". And because Miz Celia is a southerner (and by golly don't you forget it!), she'll know exactly what I think of this book and her writing style when I tut and click my tongue and say "bless her heart".
September 20, 2014
Was reading this aloud to my wife. Hilarious! Had to return it to the library before we finished, but I do want to get it back again!
August 2, 2013
I firmly believe that anywhere this woman's pen touches will turn to gold.
January 16, 2014
Absolutely hilarious! I had so many laugh-out-loud-by-myself moments while reading this!
June 17, 2024
This book is 20 years old so some comments are dated but still very funny and much is relatable to today.
April 26, 2021
It was fine. I got a couple laughs, and this was a relatively quick read, but the way my aunt talked about this book, I expected it to be more amusing and was let down. But to be fair I don't relate to most of Celia Rivenbark's life experiences, and I think that's part of why it didn't land as well for me as for a lot of other reviewers.
August 17, 2016
This book is hilarious; it's full of voice and narrates the internal stream of consciousness on various topics; however, the beginning was dull and seemed a bit too much of a "how to" book, so luckily I'm not one to put down a book after the first few pages....usually. Still, even some of the "how to" advice had some merit, such as how to be more "white trash": "Take to ending every declarative statement with 'Yeah, it does.' (Alternate acceptable WT: 'I heard that.')" (5).
As previously stated, the voice on this writer (who writes articles professionally, so I'd expect nothing less), is strong and relatable. She embraces all of her supposed faults, vices, and unsavory personality characteristics with elaboration on what she actually thinks, and I agreed with her! Riverbank clearly understands that positive image does not equal perfection, a common stereotype in the South, but that status comes from being able to really know what you're presenting in the world and being proud of it: "I've become the Hallmark crone. And I it" (24).
Though some parts were less interesting, my favorite sections involves the family gatherings, childcare, and gender differences. As someone who does not readily laugh out loud from a text, the Baby Born scene and explanation of what it is had me laughing, as well as the parental view of Chuck E. Cheese: "his royal rodentness finally emerged waving both arms to the kids, Nixon style" (52). Part of the hilarity of these scenes is the differing observations of the people involved: The children fully of glee, while the parents are constantly wondering "wtf." I think anyone who has been around kids can relate.
Being a representative of the South, Rivenbark also accurately and humorously sheds light on the competition of mothers/women and the catty comments elicited as they try to one up each other, like when she is sent a Christmas card with a newborn baby as Jesus: "The Christ Child! It's not like he can ever be an elf after that [. . .] I'd also be unable to resist speculating that this woman is so competitive she only conceived a fourth child so she could complete her long-dreamed-of Bethlehem diorama" (57).
Expectations of motherhood are also explored. Rivenbark is an unapologetic parent who feeds her kids what is efficient and has blunt responses for questions parents are constantly asked, such as if the baby is "good": "Oh, she's awful! We're thinking of sending her back before the warranty expires" (138). Moreover, Rivenbark looks at some of the expectations media places on Southern women and has pretty great responses: "I finally let my subscription lapse after she made me feel irrationally guilty for not sewing my own shower curtain" (181).
In terms of gender differences, Rivenbark leans towards the stereotypical "Southern" man, but some of it would probably apply to almost all of them, such as the dad sending the kid to church in a Power Ranger belt or the bottom of a Disney Jasmine costume.
Although it's dated, I'm glad I chose this easy-read and am glad I found a kindred spirit: "I'm hooked on TV, unapologetically, unregretfully, unabashedly" (237).
As previously stated, the voice on this writer (who writes articles professionally, so I'd expect nothing less), is strong and relatable. She embraces all of her supposed faults, vices, and unsavory personality characteristics with elaboration on what she actually thinks, and I agreed with her! Riverbank clearly understands that positive image does not equal perfection, a common stereotype in the South, but that status comes from being able to really know what you're presenting in the world and being proud of it: "I've become the Hallmark crone. And I it" (24).
Though some parts were less interesting, my favorite sections involves the family gatherings, childcare, and gender differences. As someone who does not readily laugh out loud from a text, the Baby Born scene and explanation of what it is had me laughing, as well as the parental view of Chuck E. Cheese: "his royal rodentness finally emerged waving both arms to the kids, Nixon style" (52). Part of the hilarity of these scenes is the differing observations of the people involved: The children fully of glee, while the parents are constantly wondering "wtf." I think anyone who has been around kids can relate.
Being a representative of the South, Rivenbark also accurately and humorously sheds light on the competition of mothers/women and the catty comments elicited as they try to one up each other, like when she is sent a Christmas card with a newborn baby as Jesus: "The Christ Child! It's not like he can ever be an elf after that [. . .] I'd also be unable to resist speculating that this woman is so competitive she only conceived a fourth child so she could complete her long-dreamed-of Bethlehem diorama" (57).
Expectations of motherhood are also explored. Rivenbark is an unapologetic parent who feeds her kids what is efficient and has blunt responses for questions parents are constantly asked, such as if the baby is "good": "Oh, she's awful! We're thinking of sending her back before the warranty expires" (138). Moreover, Rivenbark looks at some of the expectations media places on Southern women and has pretty great responses: "I finally let my subscription lapse after she made me feel irrationally guilty for not sewing my own shower curtain" (181).
In terms of gender differences, Rivenbark leans towards the stereotypical "Southern" man, but some of it would probably apply to almost all of them, such as the dad sending the kid to church in a Power Ranger belt or the bottom of a Disney Jasmine costume.
Although it's dated, I'm glad I chose this easy-read and am glad I found a kindred spirit: "I'm hooked on TV, unapologetically, unregretfully, unabashedly" (237).
September 10, 2024
This book was cute, but I think I'm not in the target age demographic. Definitely a good beach read and very relatable if you're from the south!
July 1, 2011
This came from the box of books a friend gave me this winter. It's probably not something I would've picked up on my own, but I'm glad I did. Celia Rivenbark is an absolute scream.
Rivenbark is a columnist, and she's got a crazy, wild, self-deprecating sense of humor with a uniquely Southern flair. Waxing poetic on such topics as Southern food, preschool, hair and nails, clothing, family get-togethers, aging, and what other mothers must think of her, she'll have you rolling on the floor and choking with laughter. I loved her horror at how her daughter told the truth about what high-fructose-corn-syrup delight Celia served for breakfast, when she was sure that every other mother had served organic, hand-harvested-by-fairies-and-gnomes oatmeal with organic milk (from hand-massaged cows, of course) and organic, sparkle-filled blueberries (you get the drift), her disdain for all things crafty, her panic at how her husband dresses her child...It's parenting, family, and life, all with a humorous Southern twist. Check her out if you need a laugh (and if you're tired of measuring yourself up to everyone else and coming up short), because Rivenbark will not disappoint.
Rivenbark is a columnist, and she's got a crazy, wild, self-deprecating sense of humor with a uniquely Southern flair. Waxing poetic on such topics as Southern food, preschool, hair and nails, clothing, family get-togethers, aging, and what other mothers must think of her, she'll have you rolling on the floor and choking with laughter. I loved her horror at how her daughter told the truth about what high-fructose-corn-syrup delight Celia served for breakfast, when she was sure that every other mother had served organic, hand-harvested-by-fairies-and-gnomes oatmeal with organic milk (from hand-massaged cows, of course) and organic, sparkle-filled blueberries (you get the drift), her disdain for all things crafty, her panic at how her husband dresses her child...It's parenting, family, and life, all with a humorous Southern twist. Check her out if you need a laugh (and if you're tired of measuring yourself up to everyone else and coming up short), because Rivenbark will not disappoint.
February 18, 2009
I liked Stop Dressing You Six Year Old better than this but this was funny also. I liked it enough to read Bless Your Heart as soon as I get it. I like Rivenbark's sense of humor and I also like that the book was broken up into short essays which makes it easy to put down and pick back up again later. I read some reviews that mentioned her "making fun of motherhood" and I have to completely disagree with any and all of those. She's taking a serious situation and making fun WITH it, not OF it. She's a mother herself and knows how to poke fun at things, that's all. I don't think she seriously feeds her kid a candy bar on the way to school everyday just because she mentioned thinking 'uh-oh' about the kids teacher asking what the kids had for breakfast. That's reading entirely too much into a humorous book.
I guess this isn't the thing for some people but I had fun with it and would recommend it to anyone with a decent sense of humor.
I guess this isn't the thing for some people but I had fun with it and would recommend it to anyone with a decent sense of humor.
October 6, 2015
Wow!
I ended up liking this book more than I thought I would.
It was another one of those bought-at-a-thrift-store-for-ten-cents-in-the-summer-of-2015 books. I read it on a few hours on a rainy Sunday afternoon when it was too cold and wet to leave the van to cook, much less work.
It was a nice enough way to pass the time. I was worried that it wouldn’t really be funny, even though it was supposed to be funny, but I was pleasantly surprised. I laughed aloud while reading this book. I laughed aloud a lot while reading this book. I even got tears in my eyes from laughing aloud while reading this book. Success!
This book is comprised of a series of essays written by Celia Rivenbark while she was a work-at-home mom of a preschool age daughter. Rivenbark was writing from a white, privileged Southern woman perspective. I didn’t agree with everything she said (TV, SUVs, childbirth), but her writing did make me laugh.
I ended up liking this book more than I thought I would.
It was another one of those bought-at-a-thrift-store-for-ten-cents-in-the-summer-of-2015 books. I read it on a few hours on a rainy Sunday afternoon when it was too cold and wet to leave the van to cook, much less work.
It was a nice enough way to pass the time. I was worried that it wouldn’t really be funny, even though it was supposed to be funny, but I was pleasantly surprised. I laughed aloud while reading this book. I laughed aloud a lot while reading this book. I even got tears in my eyes from laughing aloud while reading this book. Success!
This book is comprised of a series of essays written by Celia Rivenbark while she was a work-at-home mom of a preschool age daughter. Rivenbark was writing from a white, privileged Southern woman perspective. I didn’t agree with everything she said (TV, SUVs, childbirth), but her writing did make me laugh.
January 20, 2015
This was a rather hilarious book, especially as I have Southern heritage. And though I haven't lived in the South, other than a few days visit, it was just as though I was reading about people whom I knew. Ironically, the funniest chapter probably was the one about saving things in the refrigerator and washing out bread bags and ziplock bags and reusing them. I had just been involved with cleaning a fridge of a very close relative and everything Celia Rivenbark said hit squarely at home. So for someone who has those Southern roots, this book will just give them some laughs, a respite from the drudgery of their daily life, just some fun.
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