1.5 stars because I had some fun in the middle of the book.
The Boy I Love is a book I bought on a whim many months ago, tempted by the story. It revolves around five young people who try to manage and mend their lives after the World War I. The main character is Paul, a twenty-something gay man who recently lost his eye during the war, and his older brother died right after it. His path crosses with Margot, young girl who his brother briefly dated and who discovers she is pregnant with said deceased brother. Paul, remaining in a lasting relationship with Adam and being a man of his times where homosexuality is illegal, finds himself facing the dilemma – should he marry Margot to save her from the fate of being a vicar’s daughter pregnant without a husband? Can he build a relationship with her? Is there any future for him otherwise?
If that sounds like a total melodrama – yes, it is a total melodrama, which I like from time to time. However, I couldn’t get into the story for a long time. I was reading more from curiosity what the author wants to do with all these young people marked with the war. Then I got involved with the characters and finished the book being greatly disappointed in the end.
As I said, I like a nice melodrama, I am my mom’s daughter after all. But here it turned out to be a soap opera, where everyone’s path has to cross in a totally accidental way, from which nothing comes out. These moments don't create any reveals. Even those slightly embarrassing but emotional clashes - they are lurkewarm in the end. The real climax never happens, and it means nothing that all these characters seem to know each other or walk into each other at some point. There is no real conclusion, the change in the main hero is there… or is it, really? I am not sure. It all happens somehow outside of the characters, no conflict is resolved, it just goes on and almost everyone is as unhappy as they were in the beginning or more.
I get that this is fiction with quite strong historical background in the way that the author stressed the mentality and the reality of those times. I do understand that homosexuals had to hide and more often than not created some illusion of heterosexuality to be safe. But what we get in the end in the book is that all the gay people are infidel and lying to each other, not to mention to women and their families. They don’t feel any remorse or problem when they cheat on their lovers. All women are so poor and have no influence on their lives (the brothers in the book as much as decide between themselves who the girl is supposed to love.) Finally, the only people who end up happy is a heterosexual couple. Maybe this is supposed to be just realistic in a way, but not something I want to read, to be honest. Also - why? I get that having to hide yourself leads to shady situations. I get that a person was told repeatedly that they were an abomination. BUT can't there be anything pure and good about their love? Plus, the book has so many unrealistic coincidences that it doesn’t feel that truthfulness was the main priority after all….
I also had a problem with Paul. In the beginning he appeared to be a type of a character I usually like a lot, but in the end it felt (and I would like to believe it was meant to be, however, I am under the impression he was supposed to evoke completely different feelings) that he was just a shell of a person, filled with all kinds of traumas, hating himself and with terrible depression, unable to be with anybody and qualifying only for a long and careful treatment.
After I finished the book, I read what the next two books in the series were about, led by curiosity. And I wouldn’t like to touch them with a stick now that I know. Thanks a lot and goodbye. All in all, it could be lovely, but it wasn’t, sadly.