Please don't burn me at the stake for this.
I was so ready for this for this madcap premise: a plucky Puritan witch who, in trying to hone her powers (seriously, the town's in the midst of her mass drowning), is thrust into present day 1996. And not on just any day either. The day of Tristan Lennox's "show me the magic" event (our guy offers a cool million to anyone who can prove the existence of magic). And if that was all the story was with a bit of character development on both sides, I could've been down to clown.... But...
It took too long to get sweet and suffered from too much plot/villains
-We've literally got a baddie going by the name Wite Lize who's showing up at events in a top hat and cape, claiming Tristan murdered his son over a tech prototype years ago.
-Linnet, the Puritan minister
-Arthur, the presumed missing/dead ex business partner of Tristan's, who is back in Puritan times thanks to the Warlock prototype...
*Side note, I kept thinking Linnet and Arthur were the same person... but no? Yes? That last jumbled bit before the party was safely returned to NYC was a mess to say the least.
-Romantic Whiplash
*Tristan intends to marry Arian, despite berating her at every turn, and even in the moments of sweetness (i.e. having his staff dig through the trash to find out what flavor of ice cream she likes, buying the dress she refused out of Puritan modesty because he knew she really did like it, their first time together, his opening up to her about his complicated relationship with his birth mother, going back in time to rescue her), were all interspersed with his alpha hole tantrums. He didn't do it for me, and I know that's his schtick: not letting emotions get in the way, keep everything transactional, but consistency is key (for better or worse), and in this case: worse. Every time I get some sweet, he tarnished it with sour. While the smutty delights were smutty, they lasted less than chapter and I had to sit through too many Tristan tantrums beforehand. Also, he had another one soon after so... guess I got some tenderness, but I wanted more.
-Tonal shifts
*I was all ready for Bewitched/I Dream of Jeanie (both are referenced among other older witchy movies I've gotta get my hands on). And I got snippets of that (Arian getting intrigued by modern technology while with Tristan was very grumpy/sunshine, worrying he got her "with child" via a French kiss, and her storming into the meeting Chanel red power suit but with stocking feet). But the murder plot began to take center stage... ick in the case.
-Also, he wants to marry her for sex? Seriously, he's all "be my wife" and not even nice about it, mind you, in the limo after Arian refuses to swipe her V card because that's something she wants to share with her husband. No shame for waiting or doing-the-do, but have some respect for her, Tristan.
The Good
- I admired Arian's want of witchcraft/the million dollars. She watched her mother become courtesans to rich men for money, and paltry ones for the sake of a roof over their heads. Both witchcraft and money allows for all types of independence for Arian. I loved that she dreams of living in a country house, brewing herbal remedies, in her words "becoming a spinster". You go, girl.
-Tristan's lack of family ties
*I liked that Tristan was eager to meet his birth mother, but then when they met, it became clear it was all for money (the topic of conversation-i.e. the hardships of her second family-were a tip off).
*How Arthur and his father let him spend holidays with them and how much these betrayals make Tristan cold. His offering a million dollars to Arian rather than hearing out how exactly her magic works is an extended metaphor for his wanting the unexplained to go away in exchange for something tangible.
-Arian recognizing Tristan's extravagant engagement gifts as akin to a mistress rather than a wife.
Was it my fault? Did I expect too much? Believe it or not, I'm still wanting to read about Tabitha's story.