Youll Get Over It: The Rage Of Bereavement

by Virginia Ironside

The death of a loved one is the most traumatic experience any of us face. No two people cope with it the same way: some cry while others remain dry-eyed; some discover growth through pain, others find arid wastes; some feel angry, others feel numb. Virginia Ironside deals with this complicated and sensitive issue with great frankness and insight, drawing on other's people's accounts as well as her own experiences.

Genres: Grief, Self Help, Nonfiction

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1996

About the author

Virginia Ironside is best known as one of Britain's leading agony aunts. She started on Woman magazine before moving to The Sunday Mirror and Today newspapers. She now writes a weekly column for The Independant. She also appears regularly on radio and television on such programmes as Radio 4's 'Woman's Hour'. Her many books include self-help titles on subjects such as bereavement, as well as the children's spooky adventure series Burlap Hall .

Reviews

[Jane Geer · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful book and a lifesaver to me after losing my Mother and then my Father only fifteen months apart whilst in my late thirties. The book is rough, raw and above all truthful. It was a great help to me and through it I learnt that in fact you never get over it and only live round it whilst achieving a peace of sorts in your soul. This is a book that without fail I recommend to those in the same position. Many thanks for this fearless and above all, truthful book.

[Lexie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read, re-read, and re-read again. This is no 'self-help through the stages of grief feel-good' book. On the contrary. Virginia Ironside confesses to, and reveals in the harsh *true* light of grief, all of its facets. You name it; we'll feel it. The book's subtitle, *The Rage of Bereavement*, is viscerally accurate. Pick this one up and keep it close.

[Lana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't think of it as a life interrupted. Think of it as a complete life.

[Miss Jools · Rating 4 out of 5]

A no bullshit look at grief. A welcome antidote to a lot of the crap out there.

“The very best that most of us can do is live with it.”

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are so many self-help books for people who are dealing with bereavement, with all too many of them setting out the various "stages" one needs to negotiate before being able to "move on". But what if your own experiences don't fit neatly into these boxes? Does this mean you're "doing it wrong"? Virginia Ironside's book is one of the most honest accounts I have ever read and is unapologetic in its portrayal of the "rage of bereavement". With unflinching honesty she has drawn on her own experiences, and those of other people, and has made it clear that there is no blueprint for grieving, that each individual needs to find their own way through the darkness of loss, to accept that it isn't something to "get over", rather it's something which will always be a part of you but that shouldn't prevent you from eventually being able to achieve a sense of peace. For me this hasn't been a book to read from cover to cover (although that may help others) but dipping in and out of it has been comforting at times, mainly because its raw honesty makes it devoid of the usual platitudes surrounding bereavement.

[Tchatchke · Rating 1 out of 5]

Absolutely one of the worst books I ever read about grieving. If it had been properly labelled as a personal response or journey, I might have been less offended. If I had written this, I would look back on it with embarrassment. But that's just me.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Organising thoughts:
Muddled but then that is what it is describing - a soup of emotions.

[Ingrid G · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to say that this is one of the best bereavement books I have read. It was recommended to me by my counsellor and I initially thought that I didn’t want to read another one for a while but I seemed to just click with this. It didn’t just come out with general platitudes and things I wanted to hear, it came out with things I was actually feeling, shouting and swearing so for me it was just right. It made a little sense out of my jumbled up, angry head.

[D.G. Kaye · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've read several books on grief, in search of comforting words and have reviewed them all so far. This one I choose not to review as I found it a bit of mush with the messaging, and not inspirational.

[N · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the only book you need to help you .
There is so much practical information and things you do not need that people will sell you.
This fantastic book tells you the truth and gives you permission to feel any way..or not...that you want to.
I took great comfort from one quote about a lady grieving her mother's death and it has stayed with me.
Yes.you can shout at their ashes!

[Gap-toothed woman · Rating 4 out of 5]

understanding more about the process of grief. helpful

[Lisa Baillie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Had been recommended this book. But was very disappointed in it. Didn't help in a way I hoped it would

[Joy]

I found this book in London, but I think it is also one of the best books I've read on bereavement and grief! I did see it on Amazon, so give it a shot.