My father died quickly, almost in the blink of an eye. He was there in the morning with his Times' crossword, and by afternoon, he was gone - puzzle completed. At least he had that.
My mother took her time, slowly, debilitatingly, over several years. She never admitted what was happening. Until her final conscious day, she believed somehow she was miraculously going home soon to care for her beloved parrots and elderly dog.
Which is the best way to go?
Well, neither.
There is no good way to die. There is no way to quit this planet without leaving a swath of misery and tears at your departure.
It may not have happened yet, but you WILL be facing the death of a parent or two in your lifetime, AND if you have children, they'll get to watch you die. As awful as it is to contemplate, you will survive the loss and so will your offspring. Life goes on; maybe not without twinges of regret, memories brought about by the oddest things, and sometimes, great gulps of sorrow when you least expect them, but existence, though somewhat altered, will continue.
Ross Mackintosh's father died slowly, though much, much faster than most patients diagnosed with cancer. This graphic novel is a straight-forward, warts-and-all look at a once proud man laid low by an unrepentant disease. Weakened beyond belief - (seriously, can you imagine what it's like not to be able to put on your own socks?) - and forced to rely on others for the simplest tasks, he tries to hang onto the smallest shreds of his dignity for as long as he can.
Please don't let the subject matter keep you away from this book. It's not a horrific doom-filled downer. Nor is it a sappy, uplifting tale of courage in the face of death. It's simply the story of an average man, who has lived an average life, and is now facing a fairly average death.
Heartless bitch that I am, I did not shed one tear.
Well...there was one panel that did put a lump in my throat.
The author is leaving his father in the hospital, and pauses in the doorway for a look back at his old man.
I did that.
I turned and looked and saw my mother bravely smiling at me.
It was the last time I saw her.