The Silent Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help--or Hurt--How You Lead

by Carol Kinsey Goman

A guide for using body language to lead more effectively Aspiring and seasoned leaders have been trained to manage their leadership communication in many important ways. And yet, all their efforts to communicate effectively can be derailed by even the smallest nonverbal gestures such as the way they sit in a business meeting, or stand at the podium at a speaking engagement. In The Silent Language of Leaders , Goman explains that personal space, physical gestures, posture, facial expressions, and eye contact communicate louder than words and, thus, can be used strategically to help leaders manage, motivate, lead global teams, and communicate clearly in the digital age. The Silent Language of Leaders will show readers how to take advantage of the most underused skills in the leadership toolkit―nonverbal skills―to improve their credibility and stay ahead of the curve.

Genres: Business, Leadership, Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Communication, Personal Development

288 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., helps executives, managers, entrepreneurs, women leaders, and sales professionals build their impact and influence skills. Her latest book is STAND OUT: How to Build Your Leadership Presence.

She is a sought-after international speaker at business meetings, association conferences, government agencies, and universities with clients in 31 countries.
Carol is a leadership contributor for Forbes, and the creator of LinkedIn Learning’s best-selling video course with over 2 million views, “Body Language for Leaders.” She is a faculty member for the Institute for Management Studies (USA) and Ex2 Academy (Europe).

Carol has been a therapist in private practice, a nightclub entertainer, and a majorette for the 49er football team -- but not in that order.

Reviews

[Harrywei · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I learned from this book:
1.When you widen your stance, relax your knees, and center your weight in your lower body, you look more “solid” and sure of yourself.
2. Make a positive final expression, including verbal and nonverbal actions. Important for me!!
3. High power postures( put their hands behind their heads and their feet on the desk, or leaning over a desk and planting their hands far apart)
4. People often are more influenced by how they feel about you than by what you are saying.
5. Leadership communication is more about who you are than what you do or say.
6. we love contributing, we love being thanked.when others show us respect and appreciation,it triggers the same Center’s in the brain that are activated when we eat chocolate or have sex.
7. Smile while you are talking, a key voiceover technique is delivery with a smile.
8. Men’s tips: stop solving problems. Men’s discomfort dealing with emotion (and their brain’s innate response to it) leads them to immediately search for solutions,rather than understanding that sometimes people just need to be heard. The next time some one comes to you with an emotional problem, try being a sounding board rather than a problem solver.
9. Leadership is 100 percent character.

[Amal Shoeib]

There are multiple considerations to closely pay attention to such as:

Consider context: Should someone in this situation be acting like this?Look for clusters of actions, not isolated ones: All three of those behaviors are associated with…?Get a baseline: How do they normally act?Be aware of your biases:Are you tempted to cut them slack and they haven’t started speaking yet?

Your abilities will make a quantum leap if you realize that body language is part of a bigger context and a bigger cluster and you start monitoring the other facets of behavioral interaction: voice, appearance, clothing, etc.

[Manoj Khilnani · Rating 4 out of 5]

Must read for evert professional

A must read for every professional irrespective of rank or level to understand finer nuances of organizational behaviour and adapt some of these for growth. Some of the topics especially the last chapter needs an update as most of the technologies mentioned have been replaced by new advanced technologies in the new work place.

[Luke Gruber · Rating 2 out of 5]

My first book trying to understand body language better. It seemed like a decent first book, but wasn't as exhaustive or research oriented as I hoped it would be. It was very oriented towards business professionals. It was ok.

[Jbo · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book provides an overview of how important our body language is during normal day to day communication and in a business environment.

Along the way it provides tips to improve your presentation/persuasion skills and also provides you with a list of items you can look for during conversations to see if the audience is receptive to the message or not.

The issues I have with the book are:
1) much of the information is just plain common sense. I.e. I think we all know that someone is not giving you their attention and may not be interested in listening when they are typing away at their computer while you're talking, or turn away from you as you're speaking
2) it was often repetitive. A few of the points came up many times throughout the book, which was either a way of highlighting the importance, or more likely an attempt to increase the length of the book

It is a really short read and I would recommend to people who are not great at communicating, or who have had trouble getting their point across.

[Carrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Continuing with my trend of alternating with "fun" books and "work" books, I grabbed this one on the recommendation of a course instructor a few months back to work on some leadership skills.

In general, this book blends a scientific approach with cultural norms to give you a playbook for interacting in global corporate companies without overwhelming you. I found it pretty fascinating, since my background is in science and I'm definitely interested in excelling at my global company. Sure, some of the things she says may seem like common sense, but it is still a learning experience to hear it spelled out so clearly.

As someone who likes to travel a lot of pleasure, too, these types of interactive norms discussed can be applied to more than just your professional life. I will definitely be applying some of the principles she discussed in my day-to-day life to see if there is a change in perception and behavior. I would recommend this book to someone in the corporate world - specifically interacting globally also.

[Benedicte · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first part of the book is promising and explains the subtle art of body language, how it impacts every aspect of our lives and why it is so. Studying body language is not an exact science and Goman makes sure to remind us to look into the context of the person we are reading. In that context, the second part of the book make sense.
I found the second part of the book less interesting with long lists of what cultures do or do not do - time keeping, exchange of business cards, greet colleagues...

The book can be useful for someone who has not been exposed to cultural differences or for someone who find themselves struggling. I would probably recommend this to someone entering the workforce.

I was left slightly disappointed by it as was hoping I would find a mine of information I did not already have.

[Jason Carter · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought this book after receiving some feedback from EMBA classmates that my body language, at times, was "intimidating." It provides a decent overview of the kinds of things body language communicates, and has some overlap with negotiation books I've read which teach the observant negotiator what to look for in the 'adversary.'

The second part of the book provided some helpful information on the differences between cultural body-language norms, for those dealing in a multicultural environment, which is almost all of us these days.

Overall, a good, but not great, book on body language. I have yet to find the great one...

[A.J. Mendoza · Rating 3 out of 5]

Coral Goman has given us a book useful for becoming more aware of gestures and body language. Personally, the business world is both unattractive and uncommon from my experience of employment, yet, this book would be most useful for the many white-collared workers out there. The ending discussion of cultural contextualization of body language and the reformation of body language for the millennials was well written and eye-opening to the sensitivity business men and women will need for the current state of globalization and talent-seeking corporations are characterized by.

[Hatem · Rating 4 out of 5]

Why sometimes we tend to cross our hands?
How some gestures can mean different things in different culturrs?
Why it's a good to make small touches with the person you're talking to?
Trustworthiness is important. Body language is the best way to get it, when you can't communicate perfectly using words, thr best way comes by body language.

[Heather Herron · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not my cup of tea and not quite the insight i was hoping for

I felt like everything covered i learned in my college communication class.I also feel the author is putting too much stock in the role online virtual avatars will play in future professional dealings.

[Felipe CZ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting look and insights on how body language can help you or become an obstacle in communication and even leadership. Posture, how and where you move your hands and feet, and knowing how to act when negotiating with people from the US, Brazil, Japan, etc. Very interesting book, worth reading.

[Ingrilore · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rico em informações importantes e análises pertinentes, não somente para quem trabalha em ambientes corporativos, mas para todos que procuram se comunicar de uma forma mais efetiva e responsável no ambiente de trabalho e na vida pessoal.

[Fritz · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you are interested in body language a quick search on LinkedIn or Medium for relevant articles would probably be better. This book doesn't add much of note besides the author's constant reminders that she runs a consultancy firm

[HOANG HAI · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is nothing to say about this book. Most of content is summed up in Body Language. Bored!!

[LB · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good, practical, advice for business body language. A good read but overwhelming on the amount of advice. Should reread in a year or so.

[Hanh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thú vị làm sao khi những cử chỉ k lời lại có tác động sâu sắc đến cách mng nhìn nhận về bản thân, cũng như đến ấn tượng ban đầu đến thế. Sách dễ đọc, dễ áp dụng, k khuôn sáo mà có ví dụ rất hợp lý.

[Margie Maierle · Rating 4 out of 5]

So much insight to body language tone. The book addresses other regions and how they interrupt and their perceptions

[Gustavo Marques · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting insights and data, but not necessarily a ground breaking book for readers of this topic. To start on this study, its a good book.

[Tiago Souza · Rating 3 out of 5]

Muito conteúdo que direciona e explica a comunicação não verbal. Ao final fiquei meio tediado pois as tecnologias demonstras como futuristas já são em grande parte uma realidade atual.

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting topic, though this book did not seem to stress the point very well.

[Metta · Rating 3 out of 5]

Body language is the most primitive way in which our emotions are revealed to the outside world, from facial expressions to the placement of one's arms and feet, the body can transmit a gamut of information about our emotions.

This becomes especially important when we are a leader in a business where your effectiveness largely depends on the message you portray, from both your words and the way you express yourself. People unconscious pick up these "body cues" and quickly form lasting impression of you.

Goman, in this book, highlights several aspects for business leaders to look out for, giving them tips to help them improve their interaction with the people they lead, hence forming a more effective working relationship.

There is also a great emphasis on the cultural aspect of body language. Considering the inter-connectedness of today's world. It comes as no surprise to have leaders of different regions meeting one another.

Goman included the experiences of many leaders around the world on issues such as greetings, timelessness. This serves as a guideline for international leaders, useful as tips to help prevent acting out of place.

This book is very context specific and only provides very business-specific content. Although there are some detailed body language studies in the first portion of the book, it ultimately focuses on the application of these knowledge.

A highly recommended read for leaders who find in difficult to interact with those around you.

[Vladimir Grigorov · Rating 4 out of 5]

Корицата и заглавието на книгата навяват асоциации с един особен жанр на self-help литературата, който като начин на писане може да се обобщи така - “Аз съм най-добрия, най-умния, най-готиния, най- най- най-, прочетете тази книга за да станете и вие най-добрите, най-умните, най-готините, и т.н”. Вътре стила си е точно такъв. Въпреки това тази книга ми беше много полезна. Признавам, че въобще не подозирах колко много информация разкриват неосъзнатите действия и жестове в междуличностното общуване.

Книгата се чете лесно и бързо, но е много трудно прочетеното да се приложи. Да се анализират жестовете на събеседника (че и собствените) по време на разговор е като да се опитваш да мислиш на испански докато говориш на френски. Надявам се, че с повече практика ще става по-лесно.

Не е необходимо да кандидатствате за изпълнителен директор на Виваком, за да я прочетете. Макар че постоянно става въпрос за лидери, книгата би била от полза за всеки начинаещ или напреднал манипулатор.

[Scott Wozniak · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written with solid reminders and some interesting insights, it's not a long book.

There are some clever ideas--note the legs/feet to get a more honest read of people in a seated meeting--and some leader specific ideas--where to sit at a conference table (maximize eye contact), But the first part of the book is mostly standard, solid body language.

The final section was my favorite. The author asked leaders from cultures all over the world to explain how their culture handles: eye contact, passing out business cards (a formal ceremony in some places), personal distance when talking, etc.

[Ben Galbraith · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. I learned quite a few insights about how body language influences people's perception about others. As a business-centric book on the topic, I learned how I can be a better manager and a better peer by paying more attention to both my own body language and body language of others. But ultimately the book seem to contain a great deal of filler material and I felt I could've gained everything that I learned by reading a short article on the topic.

[Dan Gabree · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very enjoyable read, both entertaining and enlightening. Good insights into different perspectives on actions, and some good advice on certain situations. Explores actions from the perspective of an international community, as well as looking at gender specific considerations.

All in all, I found myself taking more notes and finding more NEW perspectives than I ever expected from a book on this subject. Definitely worth reading and perhaps, reading twice.

[Michael Sanderson-green · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting enough to read but a bit light on and superficial in research. I felt there was too much an emphasis on women changing their body language to be more like men , the reality especially in Australia is male leaders are trying to develop the people skills most women already have so why suggest women move towards a dysfunctional group when I fact they are ideally place in the new world of management.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Excellent read for those who are in leadership positions. It is interesting how many small gestures can be taken the wrong way. Everyone comes to conversations with their own expectations and baggage. It is very important to always remember how gestures can be misinterpreted.
Good stuff to know!

[Katia M. Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of the info in this book was common sense, but that is not to say there were some really interesting facts and suggestions. Written more for the management type, I can see how these 'tells' would be good to develop for people management. All in all a relatively interesting read.

[Ravi Warrier · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's nothing new that this book says on the subject not does it say anything different from the thousands of other books written on body language.

Brownie points for wrestling it around leaders, but otherwise it's just an average book.