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Web of Lies - My Life with a Narcissist
Web of Lies takes you on an emotional roller-coaster, experienced through the eyes of Sarah Tate, an intelligent, young newcomer to Switzerland who is swept off her feet by an older, more experienced company manager. Within weeks of their meeting, Bill impresses her with a courtship vastly unusual in modern times. He lures Sarah with his intellect along with numerous gifts, expensive restaurants, and trips to luxury hotels. Sarah, who is searching for not only love but security, quickly finds herself falling for the worldly but sensitive and caring man Bill represents himself to be. In Web of Lies, she describes the highs and the lows of what it is like to be involved with a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, how to come to terms with the abuse, and most importantly, how to escape.
352 pages, Paperback
First published August 15, 2010
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
April 27, 2015
There are times, when reading this book, that we must ask ourselves - How could these things have happened? How could an apparently intelligent woman allow herself to be continually deceived by the verbal manipulation of a man who clearly suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Perhaps there was no reason for suspicion during the courtship stage, when he showered her with attention, lavished her with gifts and impressed her with his intelligence. Perhaps she was blinded by her concern for her children when their apparent financial stability started to come apart at the seams. But there came a time when she still wanted to believe, even when all of the signs told her otherwise. And even then, she was unable to make the decision to leave him.
It would be too easy to judge, from the outside looking in. Why didn’t she listen to her friends, why didn’t she listen to her family. Why didn’t the fact that he was married twice before, and one of his wives had committed suicide, not to set off an alarm far earlier than it did? And why didn’t her concern for her children lead her to leave him rather than convince her to stay with him, until it was almost too late?
But most of us know someone who has been in a similar situation. That is why Sarah Tate’s book is so important. To tell an important story - a confession of sorts. An open, honest and often painful appraisal of her life and who she was during this time. Perhaps, when we know of friends who are lying to themselves in similar situations, we should simply give them this book to read, rather than offer advice that we know they will ignore. Let them read and recognize her words as words that they could have easily uttered themselves.
We live in a world where reality is very elusive. Virtual relationships rest on the power of words alone - words which create identities and worlds in common. It seems too easy to create something out of nothing, without the person on the other side knowing the difference. We claim that such things happen because we do not meet the other face to face, see the other in his/her “real” environment. Yet the “Web of Lies” shows us how this can happen in the so-called real world as well. Sarah was deceived into believing in a world through words alone. Words which created a dream world for her, and words which then explained why it no longer existed. Her being in close physical proximity with the man, only served to strengthen the deception, rather than the opposite. At least, for a very long time.
The “Web of Lies” is well-written and carries us along at a fast pace. It is told totally through the eyes of Sarah, and she warns us beforehand that some parts may be the result of a very subjective memory. And there are times, when her rolling narration take us into the depths of her despair, and she tries to rationalize it away while still wanting to believe in him - that we want to reach out and slap her - tell her to get out of it. And this shows how well she has captured us in her prose, leading us to understand the world she is experiencing through her own eyes.
It would be too easy to judge, from the outside looking in. Why didn’t she listen to her friends, why didn’t she listen to her family. Why didn’t the fact that he was married twice before, and one of his wives had committed suicide, not to set off an alarm far earlier than it did? And why didn’t her concern for her children lead her to leave him rather than convince her to stay with him, until it was almost too late?
But most of us know someone who has been in a similar situation. That is why Sarah Tate’s book is so important. To tell an important story - a confession of sorts. An open, honest and often painful appraisal of her life and who she was during this time. Perhaps, when we know of friends who are lying to themselves in similar situations, we should simply give them this book to read, rather than offer advice that we know they will ignore. Let them read and recognize her words as words that they could have easily uttered themselves.
We live in a world where reality is very elusive. Virtual relationships rest on the power of words alone - words which create identities and worlds in common. It seems too easy to create something out of nothing, without the person on the other side knowing the difference. We claim that such things happen because we do not meet the other face to face, see the other in his/her “real” environment. Yet the “Web of Lies” shows us how this can happen in the so-called real world as well. Sarah was deceived into believing in a world through words alone. Words which created a dream world for her, and words which then explained why it no longer existed. Her being in close physical proximity with the man, only served to strengthen the deception, rather than the opposite. At least, for a very long time.
The “Web of Lies” is well-written and carries us along at a fast pace. It is told totally through the eyes of Sarah, and she warns us beforehand that some parts may be the result of a very subjective memory. And there are times, when her rolling narration take us into the depths of her despair, and she tries to rationalize it away while still wanting to believe in him - that we want to reach out and slap her - tell her to get out of it. And this shows how well she has captured us in her prose, leading us to understand the world she is experiencing through her own eyes.
August 14, 2011
I won this book through GoodReads First Reads.
I did not want to put this book down. Normally, I don't find autobiographies this intense or moving, but Sarah's story was. And it was written in such a way that was captivating, you felt like you were right there with her, dealing with this man's lies upon lies. So many times I just wanted to reach out and shake her; yell for her to run from this man as fast as she could, I was so engrossed. That alone makes me want to share this book with everyone I know.
But I also want others to read Web of Lies so they can spot people with these disorders as well, and distance themselves from them- keep themselves from falling into the trap. I like to think of myself as a strong individual, but honestly, if a man came along and gave me everything I wanted and treated me like a princess, I'd probably be blinded as well. It was a hard lesson for Sarah to learn, and no one deserves to be put through the emotional distress that she and her children have been through. But it has made her a better and stronger person, and now she can share her story and help others.
If you find the human psyche interesting, or even just mildly interesting, then I highly suggest this book. It is a quick read as you will become fully absorbed in it. I cannot wait to get my hands on Renaissance- A Journal of Discovery, her follow-up to Web of Lies.
I did not want to put this book down. Normally, I don't find autobiographies this intense or moving, but Sarah's story was. And it was written in such a way that was captivating, you felt like you were right there with her, dealing with this man's lies upon lies. So many times I just wanted to reach out and shake her; yell for her to run from this man as fast as she could, I was so engrossed. That alone makes me want to share this book with everyone I know.
But I also want others to read Web of Lies so they can spot people with these disorders as well, and distance themselves from them- keep themselves from falling into the trap. I like to think of myself as a strong individual, but honestly, if a man came along and gave me everything I wanted and treated me like a princess, I'd probably be blinded as well. It was a hard lesson for Sarah to learn, and no one deserves to be put through the emotional distress that she and her children have been through. But it has made her a better and stronger person, and now she can share her story and help others.
If you find the human psyche interesting, or even just mildly interesting, then I highly suggest this book. It is a quick read as you will become fully absorbed in it. I cannot wait to get my hands on Renaissance- A Journal of Discovery, her follow-up to Web of Lies.
March 29, 2011
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Sharon Tate does a great job of telling you what happened to her through a six year marriage to Bill, a man with a narcissistic personality. She carries you through the period of her falling in love with, Bill, who charms her with his generosity and seemingly responsible and dedicated work ethic. As he weaves his tales of success, intellectual and social abilities you fall in love with him too. What a lucky woman to have met such a gifted and caring man.
I never once wanted to interrupt Sarah’s story, even believing as she did, the poor guy has been through a lot. As doubts begin to rise about repetitive failures in his work performance I was right there with her trying to defend this man who seemed to be trying to protect her.
The more she talks of Bill’s failures you finally begin to wonder what is he up to. You are so enticed by his high standards of living and supposed many accomplishments you wonder if there might be some truth in what he says.
Little by little Sarah takes you through the revelation of reality and betrayal. I wanted her out of the situation, there is no way you’re going to fix him or make things better. Yet I understood how she remembered those first wonderful gestures and she had to now look at them for what they were. I could see Sarah slowly being suffocated in spirit and the painful surgery it was going to take to extricate herself from those tentacles he had woven around her.
This book will entrap you emotionally. You will walk though those six years right beside Sarah. By the end of the book you find it’s not that difficult to cut the ties to Bill, and yet you wish he would somehow obtain a full recovery.
Sharon Tate does a great job of telling you what happened to her through a six year marriage to Bill, a man with a narcissistic personality. She carries you through the period of her falling in love with, Bill, who charms her with his generosity and seemingly responsible and dedicated work ethic. As he weaves his tales of success, intellectual and social abilities you fall in love with him too. What a lucky woman to have met such a gifted and caring man.
I never once wanted to interrupt Sarah’s story, even believing as she did, the poor guy has been through a lot. As doubts begin to rise about repetitive failures in his work performance I was right there with her trying to defend this man who seemed to be trying to protect her.
The more she talks of Bill’s failures you finally begin to wonder what is he up to. You are so enticed by his high standards of living and supposed many accomplishments you wonder if there might be some truth in what he says.
Little by little Sarah takes you through the revelation of reality and betrayal. I wanted her out of the situation, there is no way you’re going to fix him or make things better. Yet I understood how she remembered those first wonderful gestures and she had to now look at them for what they were. I could see Sarah slowly being suffocated in spirit and the painful surgery it was going to take to extricate herself from those tentacles he had woven around her.
This book will entrap you emotionally. You will walk though those six years right beside Sarah. By the end of the book you find it’s not that difficult to cut the ties to Bill, and yet you wish he would somehow obtain a full recovery.
March 24, 2011
For the first time in my life I can say that I literally couldn't put this book down. I started it in the evening and read so long I didn't want to go to bed for the night. Two sittings is all it took to take in this sad, sometimes unbelievable, important account. We are right there as this woman is struggling with all her might to disentangle her mind from deceit, illusion, and cruel mental and emotional manipulation. I have a close friend who lived through a relationship very similar, and only now do I truly see the agony she went through, especially with children involved. It doesn't matter if this strikes a chord or not, the information contained here is invaluable. It will enlighten and also help prepare any potentially unsuspecting person by clueing them into this kind of behavior and treatment. The havoc it wreaks is staggering.
October 30, 2011
Follow Sarah on an emotional roller coaster from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows as the wife of a Narcissistic man. This is a story of a young woman being swept off her feet by the man of her dreams, only to find that the life of luxury he provides is one full of stress, abuse, neglect, and lies. This auto-biography takes you through the years of Sarah’s marriage to this charismatic man, to include the births of their three children. You become emotionally invested in this story as you read further and further into the story of her life.
This story makes me think of my first marriage. It makes me think if I hadn’t gotten out as quickly as I did, how my life might have turned out so much differently. You begin to see inside the relationship, instead of seeing it from the outside-in. You begin to see the suffering one goes through privately, while trying to hold things together publicly.
This book is a very good read. In fact, I managed to read the entire book in only a couple of hours. I am really glad that Sarah found her way out of the situation she found herself in. I am also sad that other women had been and would continue to fall victim to such a man. Mental illnesses so often go undiagnosed and untreated in so many lives. This book serves to shed light on a personality disorder that will destroy the lives of people all around the individual it affects, while the actual individual continues to blame his or her misfortunes on someone else. I applaud you, Sarah, for sharing your story with the world through your book.
I’m giving this book 3½ spiders and recommending it to everyone.
SB Price
This story makes me think of my first marriage. It makes me think if I hadn’t gotten out as quickly as I did, how my life might have turned out so much differently. You begin to see inside the relationship, instead of seeing it from the outside-in. You begin to see the suffering one goes through privately, while trying to hold things together publicly.
This book is a very good read. In fact, I managed to read the entire book in only a couple of hours. I am really glad that Sarah found her way out of the situation she found herself in. I am also sad that other women had been and would continue to fall victim to such a man. Mental illnesses so often go undiagnosed and untreated in so many lives. This book serves to shed light on a personality disorder that will destroy the lives of people all around the individual it affects, while the actual individual continues to blame his or her misfortunes on someone else. I applaud you, Sarah, for sharing your story with the world through your book.
I’m giving this book 3½ spiders and recommending it to everyone.
SB Price
December 1, 2011
Wow, what starts out as a fairy tale romance ends as a horror story. I was so engrossed in this story it took me only a few sittings to read it. I commend Sarah Tate for overcoming this surreal life and the narcissistic traits of her husband and for six years no less. I was so happy when I read that she finally left this man who continued to lie to her. I am sure she will struggle with her thoughts and guilt for a very long time and will find it difficult to make a great life for her and her children but I am sure with the help of her family and friends she will accomplish this. I hope that her life will continue to be positive. I highly recommend this book and I look forward to reading her continued story.
April 15, 2012
Web of Lies: Author Sarah Tate
There are many definitions of blindness. One where the person cannot visually see and the other where we sometimes are blinded by the truth in order to compensate for something missing in our lives when our happiness hinges on what we think we believe. People are not always what they appear to be and innocent women and men are often drawn into the webs of deceit, lies and intrigue when enveloped by someone that presents themselves as upstanding, well to do and respectful. But, hidden beneath this false veneer or façade is a person that no one really wants to get to know but one whose personality is so destructive and whose victims learn to late as you will learn in Web of Lies a true and heartfelt story told by author Sarah Tate who lived it. Narcissistic personality disorder is often hard to detect if you are mesmerized and blinded by the person’s kindness, false caring and extreme attention. A person with this type of disorder needs to feel in control, powerful and definitely preoccupied with his/her own self-importance and worth. These people need others to almost bow down to them and humble themselves in order to be in their presence. But, it takes cunning and clever person to snare their victim into their Web and create a feeling of comfort and confidence before the truth comes out. Bill Tate met Sarah during an interview she was having for a new job in Switzerland. Interrupting the conversation he did not seem concerned with the outcome of her interview only that he gained her total attention. Sarah, at the onset and time thought him kind, considerate and just trying to show her around her new surroundings. Little did she know what he was really up to and some of the warning signs that she immediately saw she did not heed. Bill wined and dined her although all she wanted was his friendship and no more, but he had a whole other agenda in mind. Throughout the start of their relationship Bill wined and dined Sarah and made her feel like a princess sitting on her own special throne. But, that was the part his luring her into his den of deceit and hate. So, why would she marry him and why did she fall prey?
March 2001 Bill decided to propose and take Sarah away on a romantic tryst to seal the deal. He even managed to convince her of the venue for the wedding. Even though it appeared she had the ability to decide and make choices she really did not. However, this is when the warning signs should have appeared and the red flags but when you think you really care for someone and are overwhelmed by their attention you are often blindsided as she was and so was everyone else. When Bill told her of his first failed marriage and the death/suicide of his second wife Sophia, that alone should have set off alarms but he was so convincing all she felt was sadness and compassion for what he claimed he went through. Even staying with Sophia’s close friends in order to clear out her things and bring what he wanted home, should have alerted Sarah to his true personality but it did not. A marriage of business convenience gone sour and a woman who might have wanted more but he claimed he did not. Camouflaged within this man who was much older than Sarah was someone else. The story has just begun and there is much more tell as I review Web Of Lies by Sarah Tate.
Then the money he had began to disappear, his claim that Sophia stole from him and took loans out seemed to be able to fool everyone. The intricate web of deceit really dug deep into Sarah’s heart, naivety and mind as Bill began to unravel and his true colors appeared but each time Sarah seemed resigned to believe him and not see past what he was really doing. Financial constraints, blaming them on Sophia and claiming he was superior to his bosses and they did not appreciate him. At times he claimed he took jobs that were beneath him in order to bring money into their home but Sarah lost more than just her pension money she lost her life as she would know it. Blaming Bill for Sophia’s death her parents would not want anything to do with him. Can you blame them? Using Sarah as his cover he even transferred funds, their home and more into her name filing for bankruptcy in order to not payback loans and other money and got away with it. Marriage seems right at the time but was it when things finally came to light. A red flag at their wedding should have warned her that his own family did not want to be around him. A startling dream on her honeymoon was just a prelude for what we are now learning about him.
As they started their own company she thought things would go right but his business practices were questioned and he once again lied and claimed it was not his doing or fault. One lawyer that took his side and he was able to forge ahead for a while and many jobs and contracts fell through and still Sarah did not really see the light. Moving around and going from job to job and now they would have to move again as Bill could not seem to get along with anyone that was in a higher position than him and moving from Switzerland might be her salvation except now she was pregnant again. She needed help and was handling everything on her own but her new friends came to her aide. But, if she were not to have any stress how would she handle another court order demanding money and payment from another bank? Except this was for her wedding.
Creating websites for people and charging them was Bill’s latest money making idea. Holding court at events in order to draw attention to him and shine the spotlight on him his norm. Instead of raising the fog that surrounded her and clear her blurred vision she ignored it and pushed her thoughts aside.
A startling revelation that stared her right in the face and now Sarah would regain her life. Just how she deals with the debts, the lies, the rest of his deceit and how she learns the truth about Sophia’s death, her relationship with Bill and more you need to learn for yourself. In the prologue you hear Sophia’s words, her final moments, seconds and her pain. As the author leads you on this tragic journey you learn much about this mentally ill man who preys on women, lies, manipulates and actually believes his own false truths in order to obliterate his sins. Dr. David Holmes adds a very insightful and informative Comment Section at the end of the book explaining Narcissist Personality Disorder and its manifestations and how it can be recognized and treated. Sarah you have finally found yourself and who you really are so never look back. You have realized that you have a solid voice that needs to be heard and sharing your story with the world you will not only let go of some of your anger and fear but help other women too.
I am really honored to have been asked to read and review this book and hopefully someday the world will not have to deal with any more Bills.
Fran Lewis: reviewer
There are many definitions of blindness. One where the person cannot visually see and the other where we sometimes are blinded by the truth in order to compensate for something missing in our lives when our happiness hinges on what we think we believe. People are not always what they appear to be and innocent women and men are often drawn into the webs of deceit, lies and intrigue when enveloped by someone that presents themselves as upstanding, well to do and respectful. But, hidden beneath this false veneer or façade is a person that no one really wants to get to know but one whose personality is so destructive and whose victims learn to late as you will learn in Web of Lies a true and heartfelt story told by author Sarah Tate who lived it. Narcissistic personality disorder is often hard to detect if you are mesmerized and blinded by the person’s kindness, false caring and extreme attention. A person with this type of disorder needs to feel in control, powerful and definitely preoccupied with his/her own self-importance and worth. These people need others to almost bow down to them and humble themselves in order to be in their presence. But, it takes cunning and clever person to snare their victim into their Web and create a feeling of comfort and confidence before the truth comes out. Bill Tate met Sarah during an interview she was having for a new job in Switzerland. Interrupting the conversation he did not seem concerned with the outcome of her interview only that he gained her total attention. Sarah, at the onset and time thought him kind, considerate and just trying to show her around her new surroundings. Little did she know what he was really up to and some of the warning signs that she immediately saw she did not heed. Bill wined and dined her although all she wanted was his friendship and no more, but he had a whole other agenda in mind. Throughout the start of their relationship Bill wined and dined Sarah and made her feel like a princess sitting on her own special throne. But, that was the part his luring her into his den of deceit and hate. So, why would she marry him and why did she fall prey?
March 2001 Bill decided to propose and take Sarah away on a romantic tryst to seal the deal. He even managed to convince her of the venue for the wedding. Even though it appeared she had the ability to decide and make choices she really did not. However, this is when the warning signs should have appeared and the red flags but when you think you really care for someone and are overwhelmed by their attention you are often blindsided as she was and so was everyone else. When Bill told her of his first failed marriage and the death/suicide of his second wife Sophia, that alone should have set off alarms but he was so convincing all she felt was sadness and compassion for what he claimed he went through. Even staying with Sophia’s close friends in order to clear out her things and bring what he wanted home, should have alerted Sarah to his true personality but it did not. A marriage of business convenience gone sour and a woman who might have wanted more but he claimed he did not. Camouflaged within this man who was much older than Sarah was someone else. The story has just begun and there is much more tell as I review Web Of Lies by Sarah Tate.
Then the money he had began to disappear, his claim that Sophia stole from him and took loans out seemed to be able to fool everyone. The intricate web of deceit really dug deep into Sarah’s heart, naivety and mind as Bill began to unravel and his true colors appeared but each time Sarah seemed resigned to believe him and not see past what he was really doing. Financial constraints, blaming them on Sophia and claiming he was superior to his bosses and they did not appreciate him. At times he claimed he took jobs that were beneath him in order to bring money into their home but Sarah lost more than just her pension money she lost her life as she would know it. Blaming Bill for Sophia’s death her parents would not want anything to do with him. Can you blame them? Using Sarah as his cover he even transferred funds, their home and more into her name filing for bankruptcy in order to not payback loans and other money and got away with it. Marriage seems right at the time but was it when things finally came to light. A red flag at their wedding should have warned her that his own family did not want to be around him. A startling dream on her honeymoon was just a prelude for what we are now learning about him.
As they started their own company she thought things would go right but his business practices were questioned and he once again lied and claimed it was not his doing or fault. One lawyer that took his side and he was able to forge ahead for a while and many jobs and contracts fell through and still Sarah did not really see the light. Moving around and going from job to job and now they would have to move again as Bill could not seem to get along with anyone that was in a higher position than him and moving from Switzerland might be her salvation except now she was pregnant again. She needed help and was handling everything on her own but her new friends came to her aide. But, if she were not to have any stress how would she handle another court order demanding money and payment from another bank? Except this was for her wedding.
Creating websites for people and charging them was Bill’s latest money making idea. Holding court at events in order to draw attention to him and shine the spotlight on him his norm. Instead of raising the fog that surrounded her and clear her blurred vision she ignored it and pushed her thoughts aside.
A startling revelation that stared her right in the face and now Sarah would regain her life. Just how she deals with the debts, the lies, the rest of his deceit and how she learns the truth about Sophia’s death, her relationship with Bill and more you need to learn for yourself. In the prologue you hear Sophia’s words, her final moments, seconds and her pain. As the author leads you on this tragic journey you learn much about this mentally ill man who preys on women, lies, manipulates and actually believes his own false truths in order to obliterate his sins. Dr. David Holmes adds a very insightful and informative Comment Section at the end of the book explaining Narcissist Personality Disorder and its manifestations and how it can be recognized and treated. Sarah you have finally found yourself and who you really are so never look back. You have realized that you have a solid voice that needs to be heard and sharing your story with the world you will not only let go of some of your anger and fear but help other women too.
I am really honored to have been asked to read and review this book and hopefully someday the world will not have to deal with any more Bills.
Fran Lewis: reviewer
April 17, 2011
Web of Lies – Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat
‘The feelings of guilt and inadequacy came all too often. Of course, I considered ending the marriage. Thoughts of breaking free were frequent, usually at night when I was lying alone in my bed. But they’d quickly be replaced by the guilt. I genuinely believed that many of the problems we were experiencing were down to my own shortcomings. I’d get angry and frustrated with Bill, and I’d let my feelings show. I’d be grumpy and ratty. I’d nag him and complain about things. He would then feel ‘put down’ and ‘unappreciated’, which in turn lead to more self-reproach from my side. I’d often question him about his past, and this visibly frustrated him. To him, my questions showed that I didn’t trust him. And without trust, he’d said, we had nothing. I had to trust him. I had to put my faith in him, or we’d never get out of this mess. If I wasn’t standing by him, unquestioning and loyal, then I was exacerbating the situation for him, by undermining him. This in turn meant he was unable to ‘solve the issues’, and so the problem perpetuated itself.’
I don’t know the stats as to how many marriages end up in divorce but I’m sure they are extremely high. But there are still those marriages that probably should have ended in marriage and didn’t. I feel that most of these “sick” marriages are due to the wife and I’m sure sometimes the husband feeling that some, if not all problems have been caused by them. If I had only done this. If I had only been a more loving person. If I had only been more understanding. The ifs go on and on.
Even if divorce seems to be the only solution, many still have problems accepting the inevitable. They still feel they must take the full blame.
‘I’d been stripped bare. There was nothing left. I was functioning for the sake of my children, yet I was barely there as a person in my own right. I was losing control, and I saw no way of regaining my life. I wasn’t worthy of my children. They deserved better. I had brought this all on myself. I was being a victim. I lived to be a victim. I could never be a strong and beautiful person, because I was weak and pathetic. I’d allowed this to happen to me because of the type of person I was. I was looking for misery. I wanted misery. I must be craving it, and now the universe had delivered it. Misery. It was no more than I deserved.’
May of us go through bad marriages. I’ve been through a couple myself and as I read Web of Lies I found myself relating to Sarah’s life, feelings and self-disgust. If those of us who have been there will be honest with ourselves we can honestly say “been there, done that.” We find reasons to keep us in a “sick” marriage…kids, money, even not wanting to be accused of being a failure. But in the end, we are very possibly become a victim of a form of mind control.
In Web of Lies, Author Sarah Tate puts her own life out for public view. Throughout the book she expresses her self-loath and sees herself as a weak, pathetic person who deserved everything she went through. I personally see her as an extremely strong person. I can’t say how much I’ve enjoyed reading Web of Lies, not as one would enjoy a novel but as one would find while reading a book that seemed to really hit home for them in so many ways.
292 Pages
ISBN# 978-1456516680
Review Stir, Laugh, Repeat at Amazon.com Stir, Laugh, Repeat
‘The feelings of guilt and inadequacy came all too often. Of course, I considered ending the marriage. Thoughts of breaking free were frequent, usually at night when I was lying alone in my bed. But they’d quickly be replaced by the guilt. I genuinely believed that many of the problems we were experiencing were down to my own shortcomings. I’d get angry and frustrated with Bill, and I’d let my feelings show. I’d be grumpy and ratty. I’d nag him and complain about things. He would then feel ‘put down’ and ‘unappreciated’, which in turn lead to more self-reproach from my side. I’d often question him about his past, and this visibly frustrated him. To him, my questions showed that I didn’t trust him. And without trust, he’d said, we had nothing. I had to trust him. I had to put my faith in him, or we’d never get out of this mess. If I wasn’t standing by him, unquestioning and loyal, then I was exacerbating the situation for him, by undermining him. This in turn meant he was unable to ‘solve the issues’, and so the problem perpetuated itself.’
I don’t know the stats as to how many marriages end up in divorce but I’m sure they are extremely high. But there are still those marriages that probably should have ended in marriage and didn’t. I feel that most of these “sick” marriages are due to the wife and I’m sure sometimes the husband feeling that some, if not all problems have been caused by them. If I had only done this. If I had only been a more loving person. If I had only been more understanding. The ifs go on and on.
Even if divorce seems to be the only solution, many still have problems accepting the inevitable. They still feel they must take the full blame.
‘I’d been stripped bare. There was nothing left. I was functioning for the sake of my children, yet I was barely there as a person in my own right. I was losing control, and I saw no way of regaining my life. I wasn’t worthy of my children. They deserved better. I had brought this all on myself. I was being a victim. I lived to be a victim. I could never be a strong and beautiful person, because I was weak and pathetic. I’d allowed this to happen to me because of the type of person I was. I was looking for misery. I wanted misery. I must be craving it, and now the universe had delivered it. Misery. It was no more than I deserved.’
May of us go through bad marriages. I’ve been through a couple myself and as I read Web of Lies I found myself relating to Sarah’s life, feelings and self-disgust. If those of us who have been there will be honest with ourselves we can honestly say “been there, done that.” We find reasons to keep us in a “sick” marriage…kids, money, even not wanting to be accused of being a failure. But in the end, we are very possibly become a victim of a form of mind control.
In Web of Lies, Author Sarah Tate puts her own life out for public view. Throughout the book she expresses her self-loath and sees herself as a weak, pathetic person who deserved everything she went through. I personally see her as an extremely strong person. I can’t say how much I’ve enjoyed reading Web of Lies, not as one would enjoy a novel but as one would find while reading a book that seemed to really hit home for them in so many ways.
292 Pages
ISBN# 978-1456516680
Review Stir, Laugh, Repeat at Amazon.com Stir, Laugh, Repeat
August 2, 2011
Web of Lies - My Life with a Narcissist was an unbelievable read. The entire time I was reading, I wanted to reach in the pages and tell Sarah to get out now!
Moving to a new country, starting a new life, Sarah thought she was in for a brand new fresh start. After arriving to work, she meets Bill. Not instantly attracted to Bill, she can't help but to be swept up by his charm. He's writing her songs, taking her on extravagant getaways. She thought he was going to be her life and eventually she married him.
What she soon learned though, was lie after lie by Bill, things started to not add up. He was always on the lookout for his next big riches, not having work for months even years at a time. He was being sued for money every time Sarah turned around. She kept faith in Bill though, standing by his side knowing that he would provide.
Then came their first child. Bill doted on their daughter Lucy from the moment she was born. Sarah had no idea how to be a Mom, and was feeling a little distraught about it. Financially things didn't change though. Sarah was starting to worry she would not be able to feed her child, especially after the next one came.
Now Bill is working out of their basement in yet another new home, going to make his millions on the internet. More and more time he spends on the computer, and more and more he and Sarah drift apart. Depression sets in, and Bill's excuses are never ending.
Deciding writing her poetry would help, Sarah has Bill build her a website. It gets off the ground with a great start, members consistently joining. Now Bill is into this website, and is no longer working on his millions, but chatting online with people from Sarah's new poetry site.
Less and less time with the children, Sarah becomes agitated. In an effort to save their marriage, she tries to make it work with Bill, and romances him, thinking she is not doting on him enough and plans for another baby. While is excited about being a father again, what she soon finds out is that on his next "important" business trip, he is not alone.
This in turn causes Sarah to start investigating Bill's past. What she learns sickens her to no end and forces her mind to a decision...she will divorce this man.
This was such a moving story. The hardship and total ruins that this woman had to face was just astounding. It stands true that cycles always repeat, but Sarah had no idea what this man was doing to her. It's sad to know that their is a disease such as this out there and half the people don't even realize they have a problem. Much like addiction. Bill Tate took advantage of lonely souls, one right after another. When Sarah started questioning his every move, Bill knew it was time to move on.
Luckily Sarah got out before it ruined her. Bill's actions actually took the life of his poor wife before Sarah, and his lies never ceased to amaze. Kudos to Sarah for escaping her demise.
Moving to a new country, starting a new life, Sarah thought she was in for a brand new fresh start. After arriving to work, she meets Bill. Not instantly attracted to Bill, she can't help but to be swept up by his charm. He's writing her songs, taking her on extravagant getaways. She thought he was going to be her life and eventually she married him.
What she soon learned though, was lie after lie by Bill, things started to not add up. He was always on the lookout for his next big riches, not having work for months even years at a time. He was being sued for money every time Sarah turned around. She kept faith in Bill though, standing by his side knowing that he would provide.
Then came their first child. Bill doted on their daughter Lucy from the moment she was born. Sarah had no idea how to be a Mom, and was feeling a little distraught about it. Financially things didn't change though. Sarah was starting to worry she would not be able to feed her child, especially after the next one came.
Now Bill is working out of their basement in yet another new home, going to make his millions on the internet. More and more time he spends on the computer, and more and more he and Sarah drift apart. Depression sets in, and Bill's excuses are never ending.
Deciding writing her poetry would help, Sarah has Bill build her a website. It gets off the ground with a great start, members consistently joining. Now Bill is into this website, and is no longer working on his millions, but chatting online with people from Sarah's new poetry site.
Less and less time with the children, Sarah becomes agitated. In an effort to save their marriage, she tries to make it work with Bill, and romances him, thinking she is not doting on him enough and plans for another baby. While is excited about being a father again, what she soon finds out is that on his next "important" business trip, he is not alone.
This in turn causes Sarah to start investigating Bill's past. What she learns sickens her to no end and forces her mind to a decision...she will divorce this man.
This was such a moving story. The hardship and total ruins that this woman had to face was just astounding. It stands true that cycles always repeat, but Sarah had no idea what this man was doing to her. It's sad to know that their is a disease such as this out there and half the people don't even realize they have a problem. Much like addiction. Bill Tate took advantage of lonely souls, one right after another. When Sarah started questioning his every move, Bill knew it was time to move on.
Luckily Sarah got out before it ruined her. Bill's actions actually took the life of his poor wife before Sarah, and his lies never ceased to amaze. Kudos to Sarah for escaping her demise.
August 15, 2012
This book chronicles the true story of Sarah Tate, whom has fallen for a seemingly wealthy and successful older man who is not all he appears to be. I’ll be honest; I wasn’t a huge fan of this book. The story is somewhat interesting but I’m not sure if it was quite compelling enough to write a book about it. I would possibly be more interested in a fictional book based on some true things that happened. The writing was just ok, but whenever there was dialogue there were way too many exclamation points, and it almost made the characters seem unreal. One thing I did enjoy was that it opened up my eyes to Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is something I didn’t really know about. Suddenly I was seeing narcissistic tendencies in many people I knew, even in myself.
I’d recommend this to someone who is a fan of non-fiction and doesn’t necessarily need a well rounded story with plot twist and turns. If just the thought that this really happened to someone is enough to keep you interested and reading you’d probably enjoy this book. Also if you’re interested in mental disorders, particularly ones that might not be obvious at first like NPD, I’d recommend this book.
For a more in depth and personal review see my blog:
http://explanniefyfed.blogspot.com/20...
I’d recommend this to someone who is a fan of non-fiction and doesn’t necessarily need a well rounded story with plot twist and turns. If just the thought that this really happened to someone is enough to keep you interested and reading you’d probably enjoy this book. Also if you’re interested in mental disorders, particularly ones that might not be obvious at first like NPD, I’d recommend this book.
For a more in depth and personal review see my blog:
http://explanniefyfed.blogspot.com/20...
May 30, 2012
I came across Sarah's website whilst researching some work for my psychology diploma. I downloaded the book on Kindle last weekend and read it in one day. I simply couldn't put it down. I have a dear friend who has been in an uncannily similar situation and I'm going to force her to read it!
It's a nightmare of a story, there's no doubt about that. Sarah is completely swept away at first and blinded by this guys protestations of love. She wants to feel secure and she simply cannot see the lies.
Soon enough she starts to feel uneasy though, but by then she's already married with kids. The whole story builds up extremely well, as Sarah describes all the emotions she endures as her life unravels at the hands of this pathological liar.
I've been reading a lot about psychopathy recently, and I applaud Sarah for sharing her story to show the rest of us just how easy it is for an ordinary, intelligent woman to fall into this trap. Thank goodness she got away when she did, unlike to the poor Sofia (second wife).
I'm going to read the second book now, as I really want to find out how the story continues.
This book would be a great read for anybody interested in psychology, but also a darn good read for anybody who's been in an unhappy relationship.
It's a nightmare of a story, there's no doubt about that. Sarah is completely swept away at first and blinded by this guys protestations of love. She wants to feel secure and she simply cannot see the lies.
Soon enough she starts to feel uneasy though, but by then she's already married with kids. The whole story builds up extremely well, as Sarah describes all the emotions she endures as her life unravels at the hands of this pathological liar.
I've been reading a lot about psychopathy recently, and I applaud Sarah for sharing her story to show the rest of us just how easy it is for an ordinary, intelligent woman to fall into this trap. Thank goodness she got away when she did, unlike to the poor Sofia (second wife).
I'm going to read the second book now, as I really want to find out how the story continues.
This book would be a great read for anybody interested in psychology, but also a darn good read for anybody who's been in an unhappy relationship.
November 5, 2011
Marriages do not always turn out as one might hope. The man who seems so perfect may turn out to be quite the opposite. This is Sarah's experience. The reader has the chance to follow Sarah as she lives under the thumb of a Narcissistic man. She worries for herself, her children, her hopes and dreams for their lives, etc...
The reader will grow attached to Sarah quickly. She is very easy to enjoy as a person, she will come off as kind, helpful, and hopeful. The reader will be rooting for her to find the person she deserves. The reader learns that living with an undiagnosed mental disorder can make your life a personal hell. Sarah's reasoning and thoughts will keep the reader occupied throughout the novel, the reader will be intrigued. Sarah's experiences are relateable to most women, perhaps not in such as extreme way-but relateable nonetheless.
Anyone who believes they may be living with a Narcissistic personality needs to pick up this book. Sarah's experience should not go unnoticed. This book is recommended to adult readers.
March 23, 2019
Very effectively portrays a vivid picture of the workings of a narcissistic mind--'Web of lies' is a moving tale of a woman left to fend for herself and her three little kids all alone while clearing hefty debts incurred by her unscrupulous and selfish,callous,narcissist husband--about how she was enamored with his constant attention and endless showering of rich gifts until reality confronts them shattering her world of dreams with long outstanding debts and court orders.
The husband is shown as a being non-contrite and remorseless through to the end--ruining and leeching over everything he touches while himself staying afloat.
It starts out very scary and chilling as she starts to learn the real value of his financial reserves and assets--and how wrong her estimation of him had been.She comes across as a decent,remarkable,dignified woman with great resilience and sense of duty,responsibility.It gets a bit dragging to the end--but will be a remarkable guide for spotting narcissists and keeping away from them--for one's own good.
The husband is shown as a being non-contrite and remorseless through to the end--ruining and leeching over everything he touches while himself staying afloat.
It starts out very scary and chilling as she starts to learn the real value of his financial reserves and assets--and how wrong her estimation of him had been.She comes across as a decent,remarkable,dignified woman with great resilience and sense of duty,responsibility.It gets a bit dragging to the end--but will be a remarkable guide for spotting narcissists and keeping away from them--for one's own good.
August 18, 2011
I won this book from the goodreads giveaways. I felt so bad for this woman! This is a memoir style book that recounts Sarah Tate's awful 6 years with a man who had an extreme narcissist personality disorder. Of course, she didn't know this getting into the relationship and it took her years to finally come to the realization and admit that there was a problem. When I finished this book I thought that I would love to get a follow up to this woman's life. Then, in the back of the book there is a blurb about how Tate has written just that. A book on her journey in recovery and getting her life back after getting out of her relationship with the narcissist. I look forward to reading this as I'm genuinely interested in how she is doing. This man nearly ruined her life and I hope she now lives a fullfilling happy life with her three kids.
September 20, 2011
I won this book through First Reads.
Web of Lies follows the life of Sarah Tate and her relationship with a man named Bill whose narcissist personality disorder (which was not diagnosed at the time) rocks her entire world to its core. The story is fascinating in the same way that you can't stop looking at a car wreck. It's scary, because you realize how easy it could be to slip into Sarah's situation. Her story is heartbreaking, and I found myself wanting to pull this woman and her children away from this increasingly poisonous guy. In that sense, it is very well written. Her writing style pulls you completely into the story. Overall, I thought it was an interesting read on with a somewhat unusual twist.
Web of Lies follows the life of Sarah Tate and her relationship with a man named Bill whose narcissist personality disorder (which was not diagnosed at the time) rocks her entire world to its core. The story is fascinating in the same way that you can't stop looking at a car wreck. It's scary, because you realize how easy it could be to slip into Sarah's situation. Her story is heartbreaking, and I found myself wanting to pull this woman and her children away from this increasingly poisonous guy. In that sense, it is very well written. Her writing style pulls you completely into the story. Overall, I thought it was an interesting read on with a somewhat unusual twist.
April 8, 2013
Reading this real-life memoir is uncomfortable because we already know the outcome. This doesn't make it any less readable or interesting, it just makes us see how vulnerable anyone can be and that, alone, is discomfiting.
I found myself appalled and outraged at the callousness of "Bill", and I had to keep reminding myself that the man was not mentally sound. It's very difficult to excuse his actions on that basis alone, as the reader will discover.
Knowing this to be non-fiction makes it even more 'fascinating', if I may be allowed that adjective. It was a great deal like reading "Dirty Secret" by Jessie Sholl, which concerned her mother's pathological hoarding.
I found myself appalled and outraged at the callousness of "Bill", and I had to keep reminding myself that the man was not mentally sound. It's very difficult to excuse his actions on that basis alone, as the reader will discover.
Knowing this to be non-fiction makes it even more 'fascinating', if I may be allowed that adjective. It was a great deal like reading "Dirty Secret" by Jessie Sholl, which concerned her mother's pathological hoarding.
November 11, 2012
Ever hear that phrase, don't judge a book by it's cover? Well please don't with this one because this cover is so horrible! Please change it. The book however was really amazing and at times heartbreaking. Thank you Sarah for writing it and telling us your story.
The writing kept me interested from the first page to the last and I will probably pick up her other books at some point also. Sarah is a true inspiration to a lot of people not just those in a bad relationship. This is a book that can help anyone who has ever felt very depressed and can make you see that you can get through it and you can make a positive change in your life.
The writing kept me interested from the first page to the last and I will probably pick up her other books at some point also. Sarah is a true inspiration to a lot of people not just those in a bad relationship. This is a book that can help anyone who has ever felt very depressed and can make you see that you can get through it and you can make a positive change in your life.
April 20, 2011
Very emotional and impossible to put down. The comments from the psychologist at the back are really enlightening.
This book is a must read for anybody who's been sucked into the world of one of these personality types, but I'd also recommend it for anybody who has been in a dysfunctional relationship, male or female. There's a great deal to be learned from books such as these. Thanks for sharing this with us, Sarah.
This book is a must read for anybody who's been sucked into the world of one of these personality types, but I'd also recommend it for anybody who has been in a dysfunctional relationship, male or female. There's a great deal to be learned from books such as these. Thanks for sharing this with us, Sarah.
March 13, 2011
'Web of Lies' is an incredible journey into the mind of a psychopath and his effect on his family. I was glued to my seat and had to read it all at once as I couldn't put it down from the first page onwards! The fact that it's a true story just adds to the disbelief and suspense! Sarah Tate is quite the engaging author and I can't wait to read her sequel, 'Renaissance - A Journal of Recovery'.
September 28, 2011
This is a goodreads first reads book I've received for free. It is an autobiographical recount of Tate's psychological experience living with a spouse who has a personality disorder, which also negatively affected the lives of those he came into contact with. I won't say much as the book speaks for itself. A very engaging book I think most readers can take something from. Well worth the read.
June 25, 2017
After being involved with two narcissists back to back, I had to find out more n more about these creatures..What'd I do?? I read some 25-30 books on the subject..Many written by self proclaimed Narcissists themselves like Sam Vankin and HG Tudor (I highly recommend these two but with caution about who they are!).
As my kick of books on Narcissism made me read this book..I read it in less than two days..It was not eye opning or anything for me as Ive already had a million aha moments during my readings of those books.. But what this book is..Its personal and shows a kind of different shade of narcissism.. thats purely financial and lies..Ive dated elite narcissists and the author got it comparatively easier than me but my financial exploitation was complete too..Lies are part of the narcissistic persona and they lie even when the truth will be better option.All these boxes are ticked here and in my personal life too.
This book gives the first person account by a wife of her life w a narcissistic husband..From a victims perspective purely.Its reasonably fast paced..Interesting..feels heartfelt and real and relatable.
On this subject.. I highly recommend when love is a lie and malignant self love books!!Also only way to understand these evil among us is to gain knowledge..insights.. leave ur self pity aside and regain ur grasp on YOUR reality..Knowledge is power in fighting against narcissism..Nothing else would work or matters..Crystal clear understanding of these pathetic creatures will get you out followed by no holds barred evaluation of your current situation and the satan you're involved with..its that simple!!
As my kick of books on Narcissism made me read this book..I read it in less than two days..It was not eye opning or anything for me as Ive already had a million aha moments during my readings of those books.. But what this book is..Its personal and shows a kind of different shade of narcissism.. thats purely financial and lies..Ive dated elite narcissists and the author got it comparatively easier than me but my financial exploitation was complete too..Lies are part of the narcissistic persona and they lie even when the truth will be better option.All these boxes are ticked here and in my personal life too.
This book gives the first person account by a wife of her life w a narcissistic husband..From a victims perspective purely.Its reasonably fast paced..Interesting..feels heartfelt and real and relatable.
On this subject.. I highly recommend when love is a lie and malignant self love books!!Also only way to understand these evil among us is to gain knowledge..insights.. leave ur self pity aside and regain ur grasp on YOUR reality..Knowledge is power in fighting against narcissism..Nothing else would work or matters..Crystal clear understanding of these pathetic creatures will get you out followed by no holds barred evaluation of your current situation and the satan you're involved with..its that simple!!
April 27, 2021
Having experience with someone with NPD, I was excited to read this book... and it did not disappoint. It's difficult to believe this is someone's life... the lies were appalling and show just how far a narcissist will go. Bill 'lovebombed' Sarah quickly after they met. How could she resist? He was older. He was charming. And even though she was an intelligent woman, she still got wrapped up in his web of lies, never knowing what was real and what was imaginary.
There were so many different elements of this book, which took the reader on a trip around Europe. Bill was always assuring Sarah everything was ok, and what choice did she have but to believe it? And in true narcissist form, everything was always someone else's fault. This shows that you can't judge a book by its cover... and that ANYONE can get fooled.
There were so many different elements of this book, which took the reader on a trip around Europe. Bill was always assuring Sarah everything was ok, and what choice did she have but to believe it? And in true narcissist form, everything was always someone else's fault. This shows that you can't judge a book by its cover... and that ANYONE can get fooled.
September 20, 2019
The theme of financial abuse repeats and repeats and repeats. It makes absolutely no sense that a mother does not go to work when she has no money for food from her husband. As a survivor of domestic abuse which included physical, emotional, social and financial abuse, I do not understand why someone who is short of money does not go out and earn some. Why depend on nothing or the husband?
I agree that a book like this is important, and yes, I agree that it is well written. I am happy to read in the bio on the author that she currently has a full-time job.
I agree that a book like this is important, and yes, I agree that it is well written. I am happy to read in the bio on the author that she currently has a full-time job.
August 22, 2020
Long but thorough
This was a well written and informative book that lends insight into a very complex personality. We know how destructive NPD can be and bookstores are filled with he hurt me books. I’d love to see a professional dig into the causes of NPD, best treatment modalities and even some discussion of the strengths of these personalities. They hurt others and that is clear, and very sad.
This was a well written and informative book that lends insight into a very complex personality. We know how destructive NPD can be and bookstores are filled with he hurt me books. I’d love to see a professional dig into the causes of NPD, best treatment modalities and even some discussion of the strengths of these personalities. They hurt others and that is clear, and very sad.
October 21, 2023
Very propelling!
December 13, 2011
Web Of Lies: My Life With A Narcissist is an Auto-Biographical Memoir.
Sarah Tate has just moved to a new country to begin her new job. One week into her new surroundings she meets, Bill, a co-worker who befriends her and makes her feel comfortable.
Bill attends to Sarah's every need, making her feel important and special. Though Bill was much older and not her type, she is drawn to his charismatic character and soon finds herself drawn into his web.
From the onset of the relationship, Sarah feels something isn't right, but ignores those feelings for the magic that Bill surrounds her with. Her courtship has swept her off her feet and before she realizes it, Bill has become her husband and father of her children.
After the "honeymoon" is over, Bill's true colours begin to appear and Sarah is wrapped up in his emotional and physical abuse, unsure where to run and who to turn to. Bill has manipulated everything that Sarah once held true, leaving her feeling blind in the sunlight.
After much torture, Sarah finally manages to find the strength to walk away from the nightmare she found herself living. With much determination she rebuilds her and her children's lives over but at what cost to her psyche and her soul?
I thought this was a very heart-wrenching story to read, knowing this truly happened to Sarah. The story is shared in a very easy to read manner, quickly drawing the reader into the nightmare that unfolds.
I truly felt for Sarah and the struggles she had to endure as well as, the psychological trauma, it makes the reader cringe with the knowing, believing each of the words written and shared. It truly blows my mind that human beings can behave in such a manner.
I was appalled to learn of the outcome of Bill's second wife, my heart cried for her pain and suffering. As soon as I read the prologue, I knew what kind of read it was going to be and mentally prepared myself for the mental anguish I was about to peruse.
I would give Web Of Lies a five out of five stars. The personal way in which the story is shared quickly places the reader in the situations occurring. You will find yourself yelling at Sarah to "Get Out NOW!" as the story continues to unfold and sometimes the drama that unfolds is quite gripping. If you have highly attuned empathic abilities, please be forewarned, you WILL feel Sarah's plight and the energy received will be hard to ground.
Sarah Tate has just moved to a new country to begin her new job. One week into her new surroundings she meets, Bill, a co-worker who befriends her and makes her feel comfortable.
Bill attends to Sarah's every need, making her feel important and special. Though Bill was much older and not her type, she is drawn to his charismatic character and soon finds herself drawn into his web.
From the onset of the relationship, Sarah feels something isn't right, but ignores those feelings for the magic that Bill surrounds her with. Her courtship has swept her off her feet and before she realizes it, Bill has become her husband and father of her children.
After the "honeymoon" is over, Bill's true colours begin to appear and Sarah is wrapped up in his emotional and physical abuse, unsure where to run and who to turn to. Bill has manipulated everything that Sarah once held true, leaving her feeling blind in the sunlight.
After much torture, Sarah finally manages to find the strength to walk away from the nightmare she found herself living. With much determination she rebuilds her and her children's lives over but at what cost to her psyche and her soul?
I thought this was a very heart-wrenching story to read, knowing this truly happened to Sarah. The story is shared in a very easy to read manner, quickly drawing the reader into the nightmare that unfolds.
I truly felt for Sarah and the struggles she had to endure as well as, the psychological trauma, it makes the reader cringe with the knowing, believing each of the words written and shared. It truly blows my mind that human beings can behave in such a manner.
I was appalled to learn of the outcome of Bill's second wife, my heart cried for her pain and suffering. As soon as I read the prologue, I knew what kind of read it was going to be and mentally prepared myself for the mental anguish I was about to peruse.
I would give Web Of Lies a five out of five stars. The personal way in which the story is shared quickly places the reader in the situations occurring. You will find yourself yelling at Sarah to "Get Out NOW!" as the story continues to unfold and sometimes the drama that unfolds is quite gripping. If you have highly attuned empathic abilities, please be forewarned, you WILL feel Sarah's plight and the energy received will be hard to ground.
April 16, 2011
This was actually a 3.5 out of 5. It was an overall very good. It was different from what I expected but not in a bad way. It literally was Sarah Tate taking the reader along with her as she describes years of her life with Bill.
Now, in my eyes, Bill is a tame Narcissist. Sure, he is a Narcissist, but in truth, I've seen worse, lived with worst for 9 years (from birth until the age of 9). Regardless, I think anyone who is questionning their own sanity (why do I stay with this guy- he's so selfish and then makes me feel guilty), or have been told they need to leave the relationship they are in by the few friends they've managed to keep whil in their relationship, might want to read this book.
I do have to say the cover is HORRIBLE. I think the story is better than the cover and makes the book look clinical and it isn't. Sarah, get a new cover!!!!
Now, in my eyes, Bill is a tame Narcissist. Sure, he is a Narcissist, but in truth, I've seen worse, lived with worst for 9 years (from birth until the age of 9). Regardless, I think anyone who is questionning their own sanity (why do I stay with this guy- he's so selfish and then makes me feel guilty), or have been told they need to leave the relationship they are in by the few friends they've managed to keep whil in their relationship, might want to read this book.
I do have to say the cover is HORRIBLE. I think the story is better than the cover and makes the book look clinical and it isn't. Sarah, get a new cover!!!!
March 12, 2012
The phrase 'stranger than fiction' was made for this book as the plot revolves around Sarah's marriage to man with narcisstic personality disorder. His lies, deceipt and manipulation are both awful and incredible to read about. I found I couldn't put it down as wanted to see just what he did next.
It's written in a memoir/journalistic style, rather than a novel but I think that adds to the realism. The style is like that of a good friend telling you about her life. I felt all Sarah's emotions: her joy at first, then her sadness, and I had a knot in my stomach as read about all the terrible things he put her through. Sarah comes across as likelable, brave and realistic.
I really enjoyed this important book. It's a good resource for anyone dealing with similar problems, but also a fantastic psychological thriller.
It's written in a memoir/journalistic style, rather than a novel but I think that adds to the realism. The style is like that of a good friend telling you about her life. I felt all Sarah's emotions: her joy at first, then her sadness, and I had a knot in my stomach as read about all the terrible things he put her through. Sarah comes across as likelable, brave and realistic.
I really enjoyed this important book. It's a good resource for anyone dealing with similar problems, but also a fantastic psychological thriller.
May 22, 2014
Its very interesting how the narcissist puts on this show for you. He entertains himself with this false illusion of himself that he projects on those around him. Unfortunately when the curtains falls and the show is over no one can even fathom what is going on in a relationship with a narcissist behind the scenes. The moral of the story is once you know how something works you are now more equip to deal with it. The once calculated manipulative behavior that sucked you in can now be used as a tool to mirror back and return all the emotional turmoil and dejection they have caused in ones life. However,once you understand a narcissist they are quite easy to read and if you stick around entertaining as well. Unfortunately you will shed a lot of tears before you get to this point in the relationship.
October 21, 2011
First, I wanted to let you know I won this book from Goodreads First Reads but that in no way influenced my review of this book.
I'll be honest, this is the first autobiography I've ever read and thoroughly enjoyed. I couldn't put it down.
This is the telling of Sarah's marriage to Bill that is raw and powerful. I felt so much for her. At times I wanted to shake her and say "GET AWAY HE'S POISON!" and at other times I cried with her. What she has shared with the world is that there are many forms of abuse out there that can easily be overlooked by the victim. The most important thing is to realize what is happening and get out before it is too late.
I am trying to think of who to recommend this book to but I can't peg it to just one group. Just try it, you won't be disappointed.
I'll be honest, this is the first autobiography I've ever read and thoroughly enjoyed. I couldn't put it down.
This is the telling of Sarah's marriage to Bill that is raw and powerful. I felt so much for her. At times I wanted to shake her and say "GET AWAY HE'S POISON!" and at other times I cried with her. What she has shared with the world is that there are many forms of abuse out there that can easily be overlooked by the victim. The most important thing is to realize what is happening and get out before it is too late.
I am trying to think of who to recommend this book to but I can't peg it to just one group. Just try it, you won't be disappointed.
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