Please, Daddy, No

by Stuart Howarth

Stuart just wanted his father to love him, but he was made to believe he was too naughty to be loved. Finally, David Howarth was sent to prison for abusing Stuart's young sisters. This book presents the story of a sweet-natured boy who grew into a brave young man and refused to allow himself to be a victim any longer.

Genres: Nonfiction, Abuse, True Crime, Biography, Autobiography, Memoir, Crime

272 pages, Hardcover

First published October 2, 2006

Reviews

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once I picked this book up I couldn't put it down. This is a true story.
When I read this book I just wanted to give Stuart a cuddle and tell him he was a good boy, and I just wanted to hurt his father for the abuse that he was giving to those children. He didn't deserve to be a father in anyway, shape or form.
This book is about the child abuse that Stuart and his sisters went through at the hand of their stepdad and the life that Stuart lead in prison after killing his stepdad. All he wanted was to be a good boy and have the love and respect that a child needs. This is a very touching tearful book. It brings out all your emotions.

[Laura]

My dad knew Stuart Howarth when he was a teenager and so that fact made this more even more shocking and real for me.

[Kathy]

Pleas Daddy No

This was a wonderful book but very disturbing. It breaks my heart that young children have to be victims of anybodies abuse let alone somebody they look to as a father figure. How terribly sad for all of these children. I am so happy this young man who suffered greatly was able to straighten out his life and learn some happiness. God bless the people who stood by his side and help him think better of himself. Such a sad story..

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the more superior true life memoirs documenting a truly horrific childhood. I cannot rate this book highly enough. I felt the authors pain and torment at the hands of his abusive stepfather, and unlike many other childhood memoirs, this struggle did not end when the abuse ceased.

Howarth describes his transition into adulthood, and the associated struggles in maintaining safe, secure relationships with others around him. This book is evidence of how years of abuse as a child can create decades of anguish and suffering and impact on every single day of an adults life. I cried at Howarth's extremely honest admissions of mistakes he made in adulthood - he does not attempt to sugarcoat his actions or even say "I did this because that happened to me." He takes responsibility for himself, a difficult task for anyone, let alone someone who has faced such adversity.

Everyone should read this book.

[H · Rating 3 out of 5]

Stuart is a very brave man to write about his experiences at the hand of a child abuser and at the hands of the British prison system. Very admirable that despite his start in life and all the problems he has faced with depression and PTSD that he has still managed to maintain a job and eventually a healthy relationship with someone who loves him.

[Clare Parry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book wasa real eye opener I read it to pass on as it was written about my home town and I really enjoyed reading about places I knew, but it was a heart wrenching read

[Patricia Darling · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a harrowing story this is, and going into much detail about his abuse experience, not for the faint hearted.
Apart from that a really good book.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hardest book I have ever read. 🥺🥺🥺🥺

[Eva-Marie Nevarez · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think Stuart Howarth did a pretty good job here. I have to assume he's not a writer by trade and the fact that I stayed interested in his writing won me over. It's hard for me sometimes to read when someone has a different manner of speaking. Howarth's phrases like 'naughty boy' and 'are you me father?' threw me off and I don't like them. I would say them differently, as would everyone I know, and while I'm normally very tolerant and actually intrigued by different things like this, it bothers me with my reading. For some reason it bothers me especially with the mis-lit books out of the U.K. Maybe that's just me but hey, at least I'm honest right?
Besides that I "liked" the book a lot. Howarth had a terrible, terrible childhood along with his siblings. They endured what NO child should ever catch a glimpse of.
The saddest fact, to me, was that when his step-father was caught doing things to his sisters, no one stopped to think that maybe Howarth was abused also. He was young like the sisters but because he was a little boy, and the step-father and abuser was a man, no one, including his mother, thought to look into it. I think that would be the first thing I'd do if this ever came into my life. It seemed to me that the mother was a lot less at fault then the average mis-lit story but at the same time I still feel like she closed her eyes to a lot of things she didn't want to see.
The ending to this is severely different from anything I've read in other mis-lit books also. Even the description on the back, which did hint at the end, didn't prepare me for the actual end. I was shocked.
**I want to add something here. I've read a lot of mis-lit books. Most, if not all of them, are cases in where the author, most usually the abused, keeps the abuser's last name. Why is this? That would make me feel icky to say the least. Granted, it's not the hugest issue in the world I know but I would think at some time they would go to court and have it changed. I know I wouldn't want the last name of the person who abused me attached to me for life. I'm not trying to insinuate anything but it is a question I'd love to have answered someday.

[Mediaman · Rating 1 out of 5]

Horribly depressing book from beginning to end, and not a hopeful moment in it. Ironic, since the author in the final paragraph says, "Despite all the unhappiness and pain, there is still a message of hope." Huh? 300 pages of non-stop negativity and he thinks there's hope?

My heart goes out to what he and his family suffered at the hands of an abusive stepdad. But the facts include that his mother repeatedly lied to the children and allowed the abuse to happen, and that even when the stepdad was imprisoned Howarth continued to long to be with him so sought the man out.

It does show how a young victim of abuse can want to get closer to his abuser and make bad choices as an adult. But that doesn't justify this book, which contains little introspection nor anything about what happened in the years after Howarth is freed from prison himself. It's simply a child abuse victim spewing his anger and hate without turning it around to something positive. Not at all worth reading.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an amazing book. Flawless, easy-flowing writing made it a quick book to read. It was heartbreaking from the first page to the last. His childhood years horrified me, and his time in prison angered me. I recommend this book to anyone who is capable of keeping their emotions in check, for this book will really take you on a roller-coaster ride.

[Isabella Palumbo-Haswell · Rating 5 out of 5]

" The children of dysfunctional families will always be damaged, but with the right help from caring and loving people, we can move on to live good and productive lives"

This book is a hard read full of Stuart Howarths traumatic experiences but such a fantastic and inspiring book.

[Frances · Rating 2 out of 5]

Harrowing reading and pretty disturbing. An easy read though, done in a few hours.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A moving story of how a child's abuse can turn nasty when they grow up.

[Donna Chadwick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author: Stuart Howarth
Title: Please, Daddy, No: A Boy Betrayed
Genre: Biography, Child Abuse, Tragic Life Stories, Sexual Abuse, Families and Parents, Health & Family and Lifestyle, Social and Health Issues, Nonfiction, True Crime, Autobiography, Memoir,

I was given this book.

To my sister, Shirley Anne Howarth, 1st February 1965 - 8th February 1991 aged 26 years, I miss you, 'Shirl the whirl', and today I know that you escaped away to peace and freedom. I watch you dance in the summer meadows, running free, chasing butterflies. Today I smile for us all – love you!.

This book has 320 pages and 27 chapters in it.

I would tell people that you should step outside your comfort zone with books because it is good to add more authors and genres to your reading portfolio. Even if you do not read books like this.

I normally read books of this genre but l also stepped outside my comfort zone with authors and genres l am so glad l did because l have read so many great books and come across some great authors.

I highly recommend this book.

Synopsis: he thought he was too naughty to be loved. Stuart just wanted his step-father to love him, but he was made to believe that he was too naughty to be loved. After years of abusing Stuart's young sisters, David Howarth was sent to prison. Nobody knew the truth about Stuart's abuse until one fateful day when his step-father tried it again and Stuart fought back in the only way he could. Stuart Howarth spent the first thirty years of his life in a mental and physical hell. At the age of thirty-two the rage, pain and confusion boiled over inside his head and he sought out the man who had tormented him. Arriving at his step-father's doorstep, he discovered David Howarth had not changed. Certain that he was about to be attacked in the same way he had been so many hundreds of times as a small boy, Stuart grabbed a hammer and battered David Howarth to death. Stuart made no attempted to deny what he had done, and for the first time in his life he told his shocked family some of what he had been put though as a child. Since they had all suffered at the hands of David Howarth, none of them blamed him, but still Stuart still had to face prosecution and the judge reluctantly sentenced him to two year's imprisonment. In prison, Stuart should have received the help he needed, but some of the staff at strangeways took sadistic pleasure in taunting him about his childhood abuse and subjecting him to humiliating strip-searches up to eight times a day. Stuart fought back, taking the home office and strangeways to court, where he won his case and was awarded damages. Stuart wrote in his book to my sister Shirley Anne Howarth 1st February 1965 - 8th February 1991 aged 26 years l miss you 'Shirl the whirl', and today l know that you escaped away to peace and freedom. I watch you dance in the summer meadows, running free and chasing butterflies. Today l smile for us all – love you. To my darling Tracey, you are my love, my life, my faith, my strength, my today, my tomorrow and my everlasting! To mum (thanks for keeping us together as a unit), Trevor, Christina, Clare, Rosina, Maria, Mark and Dominic, now is the time to begin our journey as a family. To Sebastiano (god bless you) and to Eric (rest in peace). To Matthew, Rebecca, Jamie and Lee, thank you for teaching me how to be a father and for the warmth that engages me every time you are around. Thank you for my grandchildren and for the unconditional love they bring. To Sue and Geoff Hadfield and the Hadfield family, you believed in me and showed much love where others would have turned their backs. I will always be grateful – thank you. To my legal team: Padhee Singh, Ash Halam, Peter Pratt, Dr Keith Rix, Dr Lucinda Cochayne and the very honourable Mr. Justice Elias. To Colm O'Gorman (one in Four) – you heard my cries and felt my pain, Neil Fox (counselor) – prison needed good men like you, the god squad at strangeways and the few officers who fought my cause (you know who you are), and hundreds of men l came across in the prison system who shared their stories of abuse, hurt and pain with me ( your anonymity remains as requested). To Anthony Kelly (I followed the dream, thanks for the review), to Colin and Colleen Heath, the Taylors, Dean Mylchreest, Martin Cashin, the Sweeney family, Jimmy Barlow ( do not fear uncle Jimmy is here), Vic Scantlebury, Del, big Roy, Brett, big Scott, Wints, Mark Brittain (big boys do cry). Scott Gledhill and Kerry Kayes ( thanks for the support in prison), Colin and Leanne and the bike club, Roy Bailey, Roy Radcliffe, Tommy, Bob(oh yes), Derek, big Steve, and all the altrincham crew, to Judy Chilcote and Andrew Crofts, thanks for helping make this happen, for helping expose the truth and reality of this often cruel world. To Richard and Helen McCann, thanks for your unconditional support, encouragement, advice and assistance, to Jim Browne ( fire in ice Liverpool), Steve Bevan (survivor Swindon), James Brett ( your story must be told and I love you, man), Mike Lew (victims no more) and Craig Charles (a brave and courageous man – exposed the truth), to the thirty brave men l met recently on retreat who I saw reduced to small boys in pain and with tortured souls. You too can recover! To Anthony Akka, my sponsor and trusted friend (direction and honesty) – you are an example to me, to Murad Mousa my pally, pal, pal and to Patrick Gallagher for you unreserved love. To Big Paul (up the Irish), the Prichard's. Dennis, Daz Millington, Dave m, Mark, Dean (scouse), Howard (fireman Sam), Keith and Julie Clarke (MVS), Andy Banks, Steve Mather and Woody and Mike, to all the staff at Altrincham priory and again at castle Craig (without you our souls would be lost forever), Wynn Parry, Johnathan, Richard, Bill, Ian, Eddy and the righteous path, to Ken and Kathryn, your love for each other is amazing and you are in my thoughts and prayers on a daily basis, god bless you!, to all the still suffering and survivors around the world. You are not alone, feel no shame or guilt and break free from the horrors of the past, expose your abuse and make the world listen. To the families of those who suffer, please forgive them and allow them to recover. Like a pebble dropped in to a pond, the ripples run far and wide, and without recovery the symptoms pass on through generations. Finally, to all those people that have been affected by my actions either directly or indirectly, I bow my head and offer unreserved apologies.

Review: this book was really easy to get in to and hard to put down once l started reading it. This book was upsetting and that nobody realized Stuart was being abused until the day he killed his abuser and ended up going to prison and serving time he should not have been there. He should have been in hospital and l was glad to read that the family was stinking together and l was sad to read that his sister Shirley passed away aged 26 l also have a sister called Shirley who passed away at birth in 1995. It was nice to read that Stuart was helping some of the men he met in prison and he thanks everybody that helped him in his book. It was horrible to read that some of the police officers who worked in the prison strip-searched Stuart eight times a day after what he went through and luckily he lived to share his story and I think he is very brave doing so and glad he got damages for the things that happened to him when he was in prison and he will always have the memories from his abuse but with his family love he can try to carry on with his life even though it changed forever after what David Howarth did to him and his siblings. He can be the great husband, dad and grandfather and forget his abuser. Stuart and his family sound so brave and Stuart sounds like a great person.

About The Author: Stuart lives in Manchester with his wife Tracey, he has two children, Matthew and Rebecca, whom he loves dearly, he runs his own business and is continually improving the quality of his life whilst assisting others in recovering from past traumas and addiction. He has had two Sunday times top 10 bestsellers.

About The book: I really like this book cover and the colours are not too bright or not too dull.

Star Rating: Five Out Of Five Stars.

[L.L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Znowu chciałem przeczytać coś łatwiejszego - nie w tym sensie, że książka jest lżejsza (bo nie jest) ale na takich książkach zawsze łatwo mi się skupić i słucham z zainteresowaniem, nie odpływam myślami itp.. Tak było i tym razem.
Kolejna książka o chłopcu, który miał trudne dzieciństwo... kurczę, nie wiem czy to jakaś prawidłowość ale wydaje mi się, że jak już ktoś znęca się nad chłopcem, to bez żadnych zahamowań? Te historie są gorsze niż historie dziewczynek - takie mam wrażenie. No po prostu to co on opisuje jest tak samo niepojęte jak "Płacz niemymi łzami" ( https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... ). I znowu to powiem: mogę zrozumieć, że ktoś pobił dziecko bo zrobiło coś, co go wkurzyło i nerwy mu puściły ale żeby bić (i w inny sposób znęcać się) nad dzieckiem, ot tak bez powodu? Dla rozrywki? To już chyba psychopatia.

"— Widzisz tego mosiężnego krokodyla? - mówił, kiedy wracał do domu z nowym trofeum. - Jest dla ciebie.
A potem bił mnie nim.
Klamra w pasku cięła moją skórę tak głęboko, że później musiałem siedzieć w zimnej, słonej wodzie, żeby zeszły wszystkie ślady. Starałem się nad sobą panować, ale rany piekły niemiłosiernie i zaczynałem płakać.
— Widzisz — mówił, stojąc nade mną, gdy trząsłem się i szlochałem w zimnej wodzie — to wszystko dlatego, że jesteś niegrzecznym chłopcem. Czemu nie możesz być grzeczny?
Nauczyciele w szkole pytali mnie, skąd mam tyle sińców, ale nie chciałem, żeby wiedzieli, że jestem niegrzeczny. Bałem się, że poślą mnie do szkoły specjalnej.
— Bawiłem się na dworze — kłamałem — bawiłem się w żoł­nierzy, wspinałem na drzewa i w ogóle."

- to jest dopiero przerażające... że nie dość iż ojciec go sterroryzował, to jeszcze uwierzył mu i sam siebie terroryzował bezpodstawnym lękiem i wstydem z powodu rzekomego bycia niegrzecznym...

Uderzyło mnie jak dużo pisze o uczuciach i potrzebie miłości, którą odczuwał do ojca w sumie do samego końca... jak ciężko zabić tą potrzebę u człowieka nawet mimo całych lat szykan i tego wszystkiego... No i jestem też jakoś pod wrażeniem, że w ogóle mężczyzna potrafił to w ten sposób opisać, ciągle odwołując się do uczuć, to też chyba nie jest powszechne...

(czytana/słuchana: 15-18.11.2024)
5/5 [8/10]

[Laurel Perez · Rating 4 out of 5]

I needed a book that fit for one of my two reading challenges this year, and this one fit the bill for "don't judge a book by its cover" and I might add the title as well. There are a lot of reasons I generally avoid books like this, and now, as a parent, I don't know what kind of masochism possessed me.

Howarth's memoir is one that is important for a few reasons, least of all that we often ignore that violence and certainly sexual violence is committed on both boys and girls. This is a memoir that touches on generational poverty and trauma, on abuse of an entire family, on how once it's over, it never really leaves a victim; especially one who never is given the chance to work through that trauma in a healthy and appropriate manner. On top of that, we are given insight into the prison system, and worse what that means for a survivor of trauma. I've always assumed prison would be dehumanizing and awful, but I was right there with Howarth when he was begging to be given some decency after what he had survived. Every unnecessary strip search had me holding my breath. Howarth was failed by people he trusted, and then later by a system that failed to protect him. Heartbreaking as you might imagine, there is a lot to learn from Howarth's memoir. If you are interested in trauma studies, and victim studies, or you teach these things, please consider this book.

[Kate Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stuart Howarth’s autobiography Please Daddy No is the heart breaking story of the abuse and trauma he endured at the hands of his stepfather, and his journey to recovery. This dark story shows the reality of how abuse can affect someone, and how people can only be pushed so far. Howarth discusses the torture he and his family suffered daily, living in an unimaginable hell. He explains how he battled with his perception of himself to form an identity after his father damaged him so horrifically. Finally, he reveals how after he murdered his father in self-defence, he turned himself in to the police. When you think this man’s life couldn’t get any worse, Howarth shares how the guards at Strangeways continued to abuse him in prison, and how he suffered from their sadistic behaviours, intent on humiliating and degrading him. Despite his hardships, Stuart doesn’t let all the evil presences in his life destroy him, he continuously fights for what he deserves and to be treated like any other human being, it is miraculous that he has come out the other side of it. Although a lot of this novel discusses the pain Howarth went through, this is ultimately a story of how despite this, he is determined to fight for what is right. If you enjoy this genre of dark domestic fiction, this novel is a must read!

[therookiereader · Rating 5 out of 5]

TW: rape, child abuse, violence, animal abuse, self-harm..
This is a heavy, raw and extremely important story (autobiography) of an abused child who grows up believing he deserved everything that his stepfather did to him. It should be noted how being a boy his abuse wasn’t taken seriously and how he got help after decades and only because he ended up killing his dad after years of PTSD. He hasn’t sugarcoated anything and it gets graphic at times and that makes us understand the depth of the violence and abuse. It is sickening to think that people like David exist who wouldn’t give a second thought about punching and kicking a kid, raping his 5 y/o son or daughter suffering from paralysis.
It is especially enlightening to me as a person who had a good childhood and just imagining going thru the stuff he went at the age because he was too “naughty” when I was busy being naughty all day is just heart aching.

Stuart is a strong, brave and kind person for coming out of all this and still striving to make the world a better place when it treated him so shitty.

[Петър Стойков · Rating 1 out of 5]

Наскоро научих, че има такъв литературен стил - булевардни романчета, които разказват просълзяващи истории за деца, израснали в ужасяващи условия, чиито родители ги бият, изнасилват, държат гладни и т.н.

Врътката е, че нито една от тия истории не е по истински случай - и читателите го знаят, просто им се иска да пореват малко така, както като четат любовни романи въздишат сърцераздирателно, въпреки че знаят, че написаното е измислено. Нещо като литературен вариант на вестник "Лична драма".

Текстът в тях е доста скучен, историите са елементарно описани, а самото ебане и пребиване са само епизодично споменати, така че даже ако търсиш да четеш баш такива неща, няма да ти излезе късметът.

Самите книжки са подписани с различни имена, но двете, които прочетох имат толкова еднакъв изказ, че заедно с факта, че са от едно издателство и с еднакво оформление ми навява мисълта, че авторът им е един и ги вади на конвейр.

[Linda Tilling · Rating 4 out of 5]

My review of Please, Daddy, No by Stuart Howarth.

It would be wrong of me to say I enjoyed this book, however, once I started reading it there was no way I was giving up on Stuart Howarth (just as everybody else had) and could not put it down. The abuse that he went through in his early home life and the continued emotional and psychological torture in prison was very graphic, but nevertheless essential to the story. I applauded him for having actually survived it all (with the help of the lovely Tracey and his friends and family) and at the end of the book I just wanted to hug him.

As he so eloquently put it in his final paragraph, "The children of dysfunctional families will always be damaged, but with the right help from caring and loving people, we can move onto live good and productive lives - we can even learn to love and to allow ourselves to be loved in return".

Beautifully put and a worthy end to a true story about a boy betrayed but who finds love.

[Amy Harrop · Rating 4 out of 5]

I dont even know how to express how i feel after reading this…i am so heart broke


TW. Sexual abuse. Physical/mental abuse. Attempted suicide

You never really understand what someone has had to go through in their life from being. it really is so heartbreaking hearing when children are brought up around abuse. You can tell the author truly spoke from the heart when writing about his upbringing from when he was just a young child.

From his step father hitting him for being naughty to then sexually abusing him and his 2 sisters as well as their baby sitter abusing them also. To then when he went to prison when he was an adult for killing his step father and the prison officers were so nasty to him making him do things knowing what he had been through and that it was affect him mentally and many attempts to end his own life😢

[Chloe Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a heartbreaking story of the Author. This wasn't a book I would normally pick up, but when I say it..it literally called to me. I couldn't put it down, I my self was abused as a child, but not to the extant that poor Stuart and his sisters had face. Reading this book brought all kind of emotions back that I thought I bburied long again, but it proves that you will always be affected and the trauma "never goes away". This book is a huge eye opener of who bad child abuse can be and the affects it has on a person. I enjoyed this story, and made me remember what I went though an show strong I am as a person! Stuart is my hero, and I am proud of him for writing this book - sharing his story z

[Emmy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not even sure what the correct way to go about reviewing a book like this is. I'm always hopeful and fascinated about justice being served and the way the author (they are the main character of their story) reflects on their character at a certain point in time. I personally generally find the psychological aspect to be the most interesting part of the story and how they feel about something tends to determine the speed at which the story is driven forward.

These books always tend to have an underlying sadness to them, obviously, but that then makes me think about all the people who don't see justice served towards their abusers.

[Jennifer Reynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another unbelievably disgusting truthful account of something that should never ever happen to anyone. Abuse survivors are so brave in letting their story be known and making others feel they are not alone in the world. It's so sad that so many authorities could have seen this little boy and his heartbreak and stepped in but never did. It may be something he apologized for but I feel he had every right to have murdered the stepfather and walked away without any charge...
Stuart I am so glad you have been able to move on from that horrible hand you were dealt and be living a constructive life on the right path! God bless.

[Kholoud · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book hurts in the best way.
When I began to read it, I thought I won't be able to finish it. I think anyone who have ever suffered from abuse, will easily relate. However, as a one who never suffered, who always was ignorant, who always thought that a good chat will solve the problem, this book has changed me in the hard way.
Please, if you thought this book is too much for you, just carry on.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

How do you even rate a book on a mid level when this is a book describing the horrors of sexual, physical and mental abuse? I felt sad reading the book about Stuart's experiences growing up with his stepdad and ultimately the choices he made as an adult with all the unresolved issues of abuse on his mind. Other from that the book didn't completely grab me.
The book was easy enough to read and it flowed but I wasn't able to fully connect with the writer and his experiences.

[Linzi Roe · Rating 5 out of 5]

A pretty gruesome, disturbing read but I couldn’t put it down once I started it and read it cover to cover in 4 hours. Truly heartbreaking to read about what Stuart and his sisters went through as children and young adults. It really opens your eyes to the neglect going on behind closed doors and just makes you more aware and want to be able to reach out and help whatever poor, helpless kids there are in the world.

[WilmaTB · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brutalt. Tårar och spya i halsen genom stora delar av boken. Stuart berättar i nästintill detalj om hur han blev misshandlad och sexuellt utnyttjad som barn och hur det påverkat hans liv. Man får följa honom från att han var en liten pojke till att han kom ut ur fängelset vid 32 (?) års ålder. Helt klart värd att läsa, det är en sån sjuk ögonöppnare i många aspekter, man måste bara vara beredd på det brutala sanningen.

[Patricia Kowalczyk · Rating 4 out of 5]

Difficult subject to read

Although all childhood abuse is hard to read as a subject but sexually abuse is even more disturbing. And the abuse he received in prison, totally unacceptable. People continue to need understanding and protection so children know what is right and wrong.