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The Art of Being a Healing Presence: A Guide for Those in Caring Relationships
Jim Miller and hospice chaplain Susan Cutshall co-authored this popular book on being with others in a compassionate, nurturing, healing way. Chapters include, "There's only one place to begin—with yourself" and "Healing is about something much larger than curing." Includes many carefully selected quotations for each of the fifteen chapters. Appropriate for both professional and lay caregivers.
84 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 21, 2001
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236 people want to read
About the author
James E. Miller
67 books4 followersLibrarian Note: There are more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
February 23, 2024
The language of this little book is so gentle and still filled with conviction. Simple, but genuine and effective, in the spirit of Rumi and Mary Oliver. This was literally assigned reading for a course that I didn't want to read but glad I did and had an open mind for required reading. Basically it doesn't have to be revolutionary to say something meaningful
June 18, 2021
We read this in my second week of CPE, and it was really helpful in that context to flesh out and put language to a lot of how we'd been encouraged to engage during our orientation. It tracks with a lot of other Christian pastoral care/spirituality reading I'd done (especially Parker Palmer and Henri Nouwen), but is from a less contextualized source and could be applicable across faith or without a faith tradition. Along those lines, I was intrigued by the way that "healing" was depicted as its own independent force, and while I can synthesize God into that, I did appreciate their sense that we're essentially wired for wholeness, and always capable of moving closer towards it. This is the crux of the book, which gives way to their central idea that no one can be a "healer," so to speak, only a "healing presence" who bears witness to and encourages and appreciates the process of healing they recognize in others.
It's easy to be dismissive towards this and to roll our eyes at it. I get that. It's also easy to feel guilty or negligent when adopting this posture. I couldn't really trust it until I was in the moment with a grieving mother in the Emergency Department that I realized (1) she wasn't able to receive anything other than presence at that point and (2) your body and spirit can tell the difference between simply being present and offering your presence. The book gently challenges our own self-serving impulses to do more, rooted in the best and worst of intentions. That said, it does offer a few more tangible ways of thinking about what you can offer as a healing presence: chapter 9 describes "holding certainty" in the potential of healing for the Other who at the time lacks confidence in that possibility, and chapter 10 articulates how we model a way of living from our "quiet center" in times of crisis that can help others recognize they have that within themselves too. It's a very short read (made shorter by the pages of quotes), and I was tempted to give 3 stars for its relative simplicity verging on being under-developed. But I also think it's practicing what it preaches in avoiding being too directive, verbose, or heavy-handed, so I'll go for the fourth.
It's easy to be dismissive towards this and to roll our eyes at it. I get that. It's also easy to feel guilty or negligent when adopting this posture. I couldn't really trust it until I was in the moment with a grieving mother in the Emergency Department that I realized (1) she wasn't able to receive anything other than presence at that point and (2) your body and spirit can tell the difference between simply being present and offering your presence. The book gently challenges our own self-serving impulses to do more, rooted in the best and worst of intentions. That said, it does offer a few more tangible ways of thinking about what you can offer as a healing presence: chapter 9 describes "holding certainty" in the potential of healing for the Other who at the time lacks confidence in that possibility, and chapter 10 articulates how we model a way of living from our "quiet center" in times of crisis that can help others recognize they have that within themselves too. It's a very short read (made shorter by the pages of quotes), and I was tempted to give 3 stars for its relative simplicity verging on being under-developed. But I also think it's practicing what it preaches in avoiding being too directive, verbose, or heavy-handed, so I'll go for the fourth.
October 5, 2015
"The Art of Being a Healing Presence" is inspirational, practical and useful. With simple but profound wisdom this short book reminds us that healing begins within. An important theme throughout the book is that healing of both body and spirit is an art, not a science. Like all the arts, healing oneself and others requires self-mastery: that ability to still the noise of the mind so that the soul's sacred whispers can be heard.
Using easy-to-read language, inspiring quotes, short chapters broken down into quick paragraphs, and ending with a summary of the steps necessary to be a healing presence, this book is essential reading for anyone who is in a caring position, whether a professional carer, or home-carer for a loved one.
"The Art of BEing a Healing Presence" is a book that "practices what it preaches" - by the time I finished reading it, I was filled with the sense of calm and purpose that can often be stripped from us in the course of our stressful days and too-busy lives.
Using easy-to-read language, inspiring quotes, short chapters broken down into quick paragraphs, and ending with a summary of the steps necessary to be a healing presence, this book is essential reading for anyone who is in a caring position, whether a professional carer, or home-carer for a loved one.
"The Art of BEing a Healing Presence" is a book that "practices what it preaches" - by the time I finished reading it, I was filled with the sense of calm and purpose that can often be stripped from us in the course of our stressful days and too-busy lives.
February 6, 2022
Slender and profound, this book sketches simple ideas on how to be present with one's self and others in loving ways in the midst of suffering. Simple is not easy, however, anymore than understanding a problem is the same as solving it. As T.S. Eliot put it, "between the thought and the action/ lies the shadow." This book shines light on the thought and tries to touch on the power of not doing.
April 16, 2012
"Healing presence is the most effective when it's least active".
Of all the wonderful advice contained in this slim volume, the above is the most difficult for me to follow. Each person who reads this book will find something of value, not only to practice in caring relationships but in most other relationships as well.
Of all the wonderful advice contained in this slim volume, the above is the most difficult for me to follow. Each person who reads this book will find something of value, not only to practice in caring relationships but in most other relationships as well.
August 16, 2019
Great read for a CPE student.
January 29, 2026
In the spirit of full disclosure, I am a Board Certified, endorsed Interfaith and Humanist Chaplain working in in-home hospice care and in a major hospital. As such, my review will evaluate my personal application of this work to chaplaincy.
It took me about an hour to read this short book—I skimmed through some of the things I found to be a bit repetitive or trite—but I found it to be a fantastic resource for chaplains, hospital staff, caregivers, and lay people alike. Admittedly, my spiritual orientation conceptualizes The Sacred or Transcendence differently than may mainstream religions so I won’t comment upon the Christianity baked into this book (though I picked up a lot of Buddhism and a nod to the plurality of Sacredness including Humanity-as-Sacred from it as well, so it’s safe to say it’s not too biased heavily in one direction only).
This is a great review of what makes a chaplain different than other types of counselors/therapists: relationships. Not only that, but we rely on those relationships for credibility to employ empathetic listening and responses, and the normalization of emotions more, I believe, than other psychiatric healing modalities. The Art of Being a Healing Presence reminds the spiritual care coordinator, chaplain, etc. of one of their primary functions in ENACTING care by embodying it as a healing presence, “You don’t do presence—you are presence” (15). It calls you to become aware of yourself as you companion someone in emotional distress, spiritual pain/injury, etc. This is not just a passive “Ministry of Presence” that I hate hearing about from chaplains who don’t seem to want to do/say much. Rather, this understanding is the active, mindful, empathetic sort of presence that leads, through silence and nonverbal communication at times, to catalyzing rewarding verbally-communicated insights in the lives of those who need it (and even in the care provider to grow from professionally or personally).
The chaplain role comes with a lot of explaining, education, and creating said role to many who think we are simply clergy, “priests,” or concerned only with religiosity. A book like this takes you back to your first unit of CPE when you—or I’ll use I-Statements here (haha)—or I were fearful of saying the wrong thing because we/I were so focused on curing, on guiding someone to a helpful (in our eyes) resolution, or once again gaining that addictive feeling of being useful to someone in need, someone who could validate our/my existence as a being with meaning and purpose, that we blundered and stuttered, and made fools of ourselves as we learned to accept our humanity and forgive ourselves for mistakes. This small work reminds us to ground ourselves in who we are and authentically be present for another as they explore their own meaning systems and discover purpose through self-intervention.
Some may argue that it may work better for hospice and palliative care where the inevitable is known and the patient is trying to accept it with as much meaning, hope, etc as possible. In mental contexts, eventually, you as a healing presence must validate, affirm, reflect, encourage, offer a counter view, or even disagree and engage in some conflict, and utilize some self-disclosure (a great tool for chaplains when used in a limited way that becomes value added to the relationship and not a tool for one’s own ego). In essence, you’ve got to say something! However, I take this book to be applicable even in MH contexts as a foundation for further growth. A healing presence is a seedbed for all of the above interventions.
I read this after a hard day in the hospital having failed to provide for someone in need who did not wish to speak. I needed this reminder that I need to take a step back to be my fully authentic (broken, joyful, anxious, human) self—thanks Chapter 4. I needed this book to help me reframe my “failure” as a call to once again become a healing presence, “hold certainty”(43) for others’ ability to become whole selves insofar as the are able, and to realize that my experiences have equipped me with valuable knowledge to serve others in initiating caring relationships. While this book does not represent the totality of what it means to be a spiritual caregiver or chaplain, it should be required reading and discussion for Chaplain Residents in their first week of CPE. I never encountered this book in 7 Units…better late than never, I suppose!
Chapter 14’s discussion of what we gain by being healing presences/spiritual care providers and the final page’s assertion resonated with me deeply, “healing presence [can] become an integral and significant part of your own spiritual development”(69). I have always thought of chaplaincy as a part of what comprises my total spiritual orientation. By the end of this little reminder, I validated again that chaplaincy is part of my spirituality and spiritual praxis. I will once again celebrate the impact we can all co-create with each other by listening more (talking less), asking open-ended questions, and then saying something concise and honest from the depths of who we are as we share a connection to a care recipient during spiritual care encounters.
It took me about an hour to read this short book—I skimmed through some of the things I found to be a bit repetitive or trite—but I found it to be a fantastic resource for chaplains, hospital staff, caregivers, and lay people alike. Admittedly, my spiritual orientation conceptualizes The Sacred or Transcendence differently than may mainstream religions so I won’t comment upon the Christianity baked into this book (though I picked up a lot of Buddhism and a nod to the plurality of Sacredness including Humanity-as-Sacred from it as well, so it’s safe to say it’s not too biased heavily in one direction only).
This is a great review of what makes a chaplain different than other types of counselors/therapists: relationships. Not only that, but we rely on those relationships for credibility to employ empathetic listening and responses, and the normalization of emotions more, I believe, than other psychiatric healing modalities. The Art of Being a Healing Presence reminds the spiritual care coordinator, chaplain, etc. of one of their primary functions in ENACTING care by embodying it as a healing presence, “You don’t do presence—you are presence” (15). It calls you to become aware of yourself as you companion someone in emotional distress, spiritual pain/injury, etc. This is not just a passive “Ministry of Presence” that I hate hearing about from chaplains who don’t seem to want to do/say much. Rather, this understanding is the active, mindful, empathetic sort of presence that leads, through silence and nonverbal communication at times, to catalyzing rewarding verbally-communicated insights in the lives of those who need it (and even in the care provider to grow from professionally or personally).
The chaplain role comes with a lot of explaining, education, and creating said role to many who think we are simply clergy, “priests,” or concerned only with religiosity. A book like this takes you back to your first unit of CPE when you—or I’ll use I-Statements here (haha)—or I were fearful of saying the wrong thing because we/I were so focused on curing, on guiding someone to a helpful (in our eyes) resolution, or once again gaining that addictive feeling of being useful to someone in need, someone who could validate our/my existence as a being with meaning and purpose, that we blundered and stuttered, and made fools of ourselves as we learned to accept our humanity and forgive ourselves for mistakes. This small work reminds us to ground ourselves in who we are and authentically be present for another as they explore their own meaning systems and discover purpose through self-intervention.
Some may argue that it may work better for hospice and palliative care where the inevitable is known and the patient is trying to accept it with as much meaning, hope, etc as possible. In mental contexts, eventually, you as a healing presence must validate, affirm, reflect, encourage, offer a counter view, or even disagree and engage in some conflict, and utilize some self-disclosure (a great tool for chaplains when used in a limited way that becomes value added to the relationship and not a tool for one’s own ego). In essence, you’ve got to say something! However, I take this book to be applicable even in MH contexts as a foundation for further growth. A healing presence is a seedbed for all of the above interventions.
I read this after a hard day in the hospital having failed to provide for someone in need who did not wish to speak. I needed this reminder that I need to take a step back to be my fully authentic (broken, joyful, anxious, human) self—thanks Chapter 4. I needed this book to help me reframe my “failure” as a call to once again become a healing presence, “hold certainty”(43) for others’ ability to become whole selves insofar as the are able, and to realize that my experiences have equipped me with valuable knowledge to serve others in initiating caring relationships. While this book does not represent the totality of what it means to be a spiritual caregiver or chaplain, it should be required reading and discussion for Chaplain Residents in their first week of CPE. I never encountered this book in 7 Units…better late than never, I suppose!
Chapter 14’s discussion of what we gain by being healing presences/spiritual care providers and the final page’s assertion resonated with me deeply, “healing presence [can] become an integral and significant part of your own spiritual development”(69). I have always thought of chaplaincy as a part of what comprises my total spiritual orientation. By the end of this little reminder, I validated again that chaplaincy is part of my spirituality and spiritual praxis. I will once again celebrate the impact we can all co-create with each other by listening more (talking less), asking open-ended questions, and then saying something concise and honest from the depths of who we are as we share a connection to a care recipient during spiritual care encounters.
August 25, 2025
This lovely small book was assigned reading for my Music for Healing and Transition Program training to become a Certified Music Practitioner. It speaks to the skills - some inherent, some learned - to become a healing presence in your line of work. This book is valuable for chaplains, music therapists or therapeutic musicians, volunteers, grief counselors, and the like. I highly recommend it. As of August 2025, it seems the publisher has gone out of business and only the Kindle version is available on Amazon.
November 8, 2017
I thought this was a thoughtful and reflective read. Really drives the message that we can’t develop and enrich ourselves when our own vessels are empty. I also enjoyed the quotes at the start of each chapter. “You will find that the mere resolve not to be useless, and the honest desire to help other people, will, in the quickest and delicatest ways, improve yourself.”
November 3, 2019
I just love their books. They seem so simple and the topics appear obvious. But it such a good reminder of the small things that tend to be overlooked in helping professions. I also love quotes, and each chapter opens with 3 to 4 beautifully centering quotes. Good book to have sit on your desk as a reminder of intentionality.
May 27, 2018
Read as part of Midwifing Death Course
June 2, 2019
Very basic guide to how to be a good caregiver for those suffering from loss in one form or another. A little too basic.
December 28, 2019
Fantastic book for all of those who work in grief or those who will be or are caregivers of any kind.
April 17, 2020
Good advice given throughout the books. I am a sucker for the quotes at the beginning of each chapter.
January 26, 2022
Beautifully presented and delivered.
July 13, 2024
This is a beautiful little book that has a lot to offer anyone who is supporting others through illness or dying.
August 16, 2025
Very basic and at the same time fundamental philosophy of caregiving. Quick read, perhaps a little too generic, but worth the time especially for one new to the field.
August 27, 2024
Good knowledge
This book contains much knowledge and the biggest one is ‘It's not about you’ and you need to care for yourself before you can help others. This book will help you the reader become a healing presence while taking care of yourself.
This book contains much knowledge and the biggest one is ‘It's not about you’ and you need to care for yourself before you can help others. This book will help you the reader become a healing presence while taking care of yourself.
May 21, 2014
The Art of Being a Healing Presence, a slim 2001 book written by counselor and ordained Methodist minister James Miller, is a short, sweet primer on how, exactly, to be a healing presence. As Miller defines it, it’s the simple act of being there for someone who is grieving or going through a difficult time — but that means more than physically being there. There’s a way that a person can be there mentally, emotionally and spiritually for another person. And this book advises you on how to approach such a task.
Miller prefaces the book by relating his own experience with a healing presence. Years ago, after Miller’s fiancée unexpectedly left him, Miller found comfort with a good friend of his named Tom. Tom would invite Miller over, clear the room, and simply sit and listen while Miller vented his feelings and frustrations. Looking back, Miller was struck by how little Tom actively did, and yet how important his presence was for Miller’s healing process.
[Continued]
Full SevenPonds Review:
http://blog.sevenponds.com/lending-in...
March 20, 2015
Looking for a lovely short book about the qualities of being a healing presence? This is a great choice. Many people are uncertain about what to say or do and how to get out of the usual fix-it mode that is so familiar in our culture. Whether you have a role in the care of someone, are a healthcare worker, or just want to learn more about how to be with friends and family members in difficult times, the book will definitely offer up its riches, especially if you take a chapter at a time and practice. We are looking at using it for training purposes for a Pastoral Care Program.
March 21, 2020
This is a small, thoughtful book that causes self-exploration. I would definitely recommend it to yoga teachers or anyone else involved with healing modalities as well as pastors. Each chapter begins with 3-4 quotes that relate to the chapter. The advice is simple and pragmatic - anyone could follow. It is also mindful, requiring self-study and change. The writing is easy to follow and it is well organized. There isn't too much superfluous language or esoteric imagery. It is an "honest" read - it is obvious the authors live it.
June 28, 2016
Excellent topic for those who want to give and learn how to give more compassion. I enjoyed how the author separated curing and healing. Medicine cures, humans heal. The author expressed how to be present in the moment and how to be aware of a person's surroundings. I learned a lot and am anxious to apply them in my relationships. Short, and excellent book!
November 27, 2018
Thought provoking, good book for a book club
I was torn between giving this three or four stars but settled on three because sometimes the language got too intense for me—too deep in the psyche.
But I will reread this book often because what is said is so true in my experience of successful relationships.
I was torn between giving this three or four stars but settled on three because sometimes the language got too intense for me—too deep in the psyche.
But I will reread this book often because what is said is so true in my experience of successful relationships.
May 17, 2016
A must-read for anyone in a care-giving relationship or field.
I really liked how it delved into the work one must do within oneself in order to be prepared to give healing care to others.
I really liked how it delved into the work one must do within oneself in order to be prepared to give healing care to others.
May 4, 2020
An easy-to-understand approach about the ins and outs of what it means to be a healing presence. I felt like some of the ideas became repetitive, but in some cases hearing the same thing in different words under a different header does well to clarify a point.
June 16, 2010
Excellent distillation of what it means to be a healer. Beautifully concise and insightful.
July 20, 2010
It was a very short book, 75 pages. It was okay but not very informative. Common sense stuff like sit quietly with someone, listen to them, hold them, etc. Well, duh.
January 28, 2013
Lovely, meditative book on being a healing presence, with an emphasis on emotionally and spiritually making space as a caregiver to being present.
June 2, 2013
Great book on being emotionally and spiritually present in times of need. Being able to listen and comfort with few words because You Are There in Their Moment.
September 11, 2016
Wise, skillfully written, and approachable.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews