Friendship with the Friend of Sinners: The Remarkable Possibility of Closeness with Christ

by Jared C. Wilson

The Bible calls Jesus the friend of sinners, but it's hard to imagine what friendship with Jesus really looks like. We so often don't even know how to do friendship with the people around us, despite all the options we have to connect. So how are we supposed to feel that close to a holy, perfect, and invisible God? How do we see Jesus as the real person he is? And how do we experience true friendship with him when we struggle to maintain true friendship on earth?

Join author Jared C. Wilson as he explores what it means to be a friend of Jesus. Through candid personal stories and insights into the Gospels, Wilson uncovers easily overlooked details of the close relationship Jesus had with his followers. He reveals the ways we often hold Jesus at arm's length and shows how to draw close to him through radical honesty, consistent communication, and unconditional love.

If you've found yourself lonely and longing for connection and friendship, it's time to discover the remarkable possibility of closeness with Christ.

Genres: Christian, Faith, Christian Living, Christianity, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Theology

217 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 5, 2023

About the author

Jared C. Wilson is the Director of Content Strategy for Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, Managing Editor of For The Church (ftc.co), and Director of the Pastoral Training Center at Liberty Baptist Church in Kansas City, Missouri. He is the author of numerous books, including "Gospel Wakefulness," "The Prodigal Church," and, most recently, "The Imperfect Disciple." Wilson blogs regularly at gospeldrivenchurch.com, hosted by The Gospel Coalition and is a frequent speaker at conferences and churches around the world.

Reviews

[Ronni Kurtz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Classic Jared here: he is able to take a Biblical notion, such as friendship with Jesus, and use it to make your soul stirred by the gospel of grace. Hard for me to pick a favorite chapter but the "honest" chapter struck me as quite a needed word. I am obviously bias here, but there still are few writers alive, in my opinion, who can adorn the gospel quite like Jared. His words have been a gift to me before I ever knew him and the more I have gotten to know him the more I see his words in his life. I heartily recommend this one. Be prepared to marvel at Jesus.

(Also, I'll be interviewing Jared on this book in an upcoming FTC Podcast episode so be sure to catch that as well.)

[Brooklyn Griffin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will never shut up about this book!! 🥹‼️🫠💓🫨

[Ellie (elliehojreads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal. Jesus is the very best friend we have. Jared digs into this concept but not in a “Jesus is my bestie” way. Jesus truly is the best and greatest friend we have and that is such great news for us. The gospel is so clearly presented on every page and Jared’s raw honesty of some really hard times is refreshing and encouraging.

Thank you to NetGalley and Baker Boons for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

[Ashton · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:13-15).

As I’m sure you could imagine, Casting Crowns’s “Jesus, Friend of Sinners” and the popular hymn “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” rang in my mind this entire read (which, I might add, was excellent). Jared Wilson sets out on a difficult task to rightly position Jesus as a friend. Throughout this entire book, Wilson proclaims that The Friend of Sinners is a real person and he is the best friend we will ever experience.

This is the sixth book on or relating to friendship I’ve read this year. (Overkill?) And, truth be told, I love hearing new perspectives. Wilson’s has been perhaps the most unique of them all. He focuses almost exclusively on our vertical friendship with God and doesn’t give many implications for how that should affect our horizontal relationships with one another. Looking at our vertical intimacy, the reality of our friendship with Jesus is simply the gospel. (Here’s the reason why I struggled with my rating.)

Jesus is the epitome of friendship. He is the epitome of virtue. We cannot understand or realize friendship apart from Christ. For that reason, the best way to examine and rightly esteem friendship is by simply looking at Jesus Christ. However, there were times while reading this where I asked myself, Where are the words on friendship? Again, while I wish there were more, I realize that the words about friendship are the words about Jesus Christ himself. This is the very reason I love this book (I binged it). I recommend it to anyone who wants to get fired up about friendship with Jesus (because I sure did!). Even though I believe Jared should have used more real estate to flesh out the implications of this friendship in our daily lives, he still wrote an incredible read.

There is no friend truer than Jesus. There is no friend so real as Jesus. There is no friend closer than Jesus. None so comforting as, so unbothered as, more loyal than Jesus. There is no friend more honest than Jesus. There is no friend so generous as Jesus. There is no friend as perfectly present as Jesus. And there sure is no friend so saving as Jesus (Wilson).

Wilson's words (especially in the chapter “The Law Against Double Jeopardy: Jesus the Loyal Friend”) had me shouting for joy like a mad man! I resounded, “Come on, Jared!” and “Amen!” on more than a handful of occasions. His words had me pausing to rejoice at the beauty of our Savior. His words had me singing the Doxology and launching into an impromptu prayer of praise. His words had me giddy—for they were true: Jesus is real, and he is our friend.

"To be friends with Jesus is like that but more so. We can know that every day he will always be glad to meet with us, to receive us warmly, to hear our deepest fears and our sorrows, our gladdest joys and our basest sins. He will sit with us as long as we're willing to be there with him. And when we push back from the table, ready to go about our day or turn in for the night, we take with us the lingering sense of his fullness, his fondness, his friendship" (169).

Praise God—Father, Son and Holy Spirit for being one who calls us friends.

[Jordan Giuliani · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had me in awe of the deep friendship we have with our loving Savior! Reading it led me to instantly pray to the Lord with great praise and thanks. 10/10! Would read again. I also loved the author’s writing style, how his personality came out, and his honesty.

[Jacob O'connor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Have you seen that show, The Chosen? It’s a crowd-funded serial about Jesus, and I love it. One of my favorite things about is the way they portray Jesus. I have to admit, the gentle, warm, and friendly Christ from the show is not the one I picture when I’m reading the Gospels. I read him kinda cranky. More severe and faster to critique. I think I’m wrong. This is why I picked up Wilson’s book. I wanted to be convinced from the text of my error. Call it a success, if not quite in the way I was hoping. Jesus has always been a surprise to me. He shucks when I think he’ll jive. This is part of the process of getting to know him. I’m happy to open this present slowly.

[Kyle Kelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This along with Gentle and Lowly are the two books that have completely taken the gospel from a knowing in the head to a understanding in the heart for me. Walking away from reading both of those books I am convinced that you will see Jesus in a completely new light.

[Pat · Rating 5 out of 5]

So wonderfully encouraging I bought the hard copy after listening to audio. I really love his books❤️

[Brett Wiley · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️ - I’ve benefitted a ton from Jared Wilson’s ministry and writing, and his pastoral ministry class was one of my favorites in seminary. This book had so much of what I have loved about His writing in it: a big and glorious view of Jesus and the gospel, a reveling in the mind blowing goodness of His grace and mercy, and a humble honesty about Wilson’s own sins and flaws (and ours!). There are so many beautiful truths and reminders in this book. That said, for whatever reason, this book didn’t hit with me personally as much as other works of his have. It’s definitely worth a read if you want to learn about or be reminded of the overwhelming possibility of friendship with Jesus.

“At the lowest moment of my life, I came face-to-face with my real self. And I came face-to-face with the truest friend…In my deepest, most despondent loneliness, I found deeper friendship with Jesus. I learned that the power of the gospel is available even to sinful Christians who should know better. I’m still a terrible friend to Jesus. But he is still the truest friend to me.”

[Wes Van Fleet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Friendship is one of those rare gifts that, when absent, can also cause great pain. This book came at just the right time. For years I have longed for real and lasting friendships. As a pastor, friendship has been a confusing thing. Longing for a deeper friendship with Jesus, Wilson’s book came as a sweet comfort and convicting nudge towards a more tangible relationship with Jesus. All of Jared’s books have been great, but this one felt like a friend talking to another friend about the difficulties and gifts of friendship with Jesus and others. The gospel is great news for sinners who need a friend, and Jared proclaims many beautiful facets of the gospel and how it relates to all our aches and desires that come with friendship.

[Jeremy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Any book that helps me know, love, and enjoy Jesus more is a winner. This book is exceptional in that way. I walked through it with a group of men from my church and took deep encouragement, comfort, and hope from who Jesus is and what he has done for me. I have grown in my affections for Jesus more because of this book.

[Amanda E. (aebooksandwords) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Likely all of us have felt tangibly the epidemic loneliness facing so many. If not, we have probably faced times when we hit rock bottom, desperate for a true friend’s help but feeling utterly alone and unable to reach out. Likewise, we all long for that perfect friend who is true in all times and ways.

“Friendship with the Friend of Sinners” covers different aspects of how Jesus is the greatest friend we could ever know and have. It takes us into “the wonder of Christ and all that he is to us and with us and for us.”

Each one of us is a sinner with too easy an inclination to pull away from God, but as the author writes, closeness with Christ can change our lives.

Some highlights:

“The truth is, we're all terrible friends to Jesus. But he is still the truest friend we could have.”

“The Giver is himself the gift. And there’s no gift he can give us that can exceed the preciousness and worth of his very self.”

“To be a partaker of the divine nature is to be brought into the heart of God.”

“Closeness to Jesus makes us more like Jesus, more like what we someday will be. We begin to reflect his gentleness, his peace, his patience, his love, his everything, the more we uninterruptedly fellowship with him.”

Thank you to Netgalley and Baker Books for sending me a copy of this book for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

[Kirk Metzger · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s worth your time to ponder the beautiful, shocking reality that the Holy Trinity has sought you and saved you. This book was a splendid listen to be reminded that Jesus has sought us when we were his enemies and made us friends with God. Enjoy his friendship!

[Caroline Joseph · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow!! EVERYONE should read!

[Emily Lehman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like sitting with a friend, Jared points the reader to Jesus in such a clear and easy way. Every book I've read by Jared Wilson has been full of good truth presented in a buffet of delicious nuggets. I loved the full range of Theology covered in such a short book -- meaty enough for the theologically inclined yet easy to understand if you're new to Christianity or theology in general. I would definitely recommend.

side note: we've been looking for an easy-to-digest-yet-deep book about Jesus for our oldest daughter to read alongside her bible, so I was weighing this while reading. Honestly, our oldest *could* read this, with many questions, I'm sure. BUT there is mature content regarding Jared's marriage that I don't think would work for younger readers -- nothing vivid or explicit, just heavy for a preteen.

[Emily Waits (emilylovesreading_) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you @netgalley for the free eARC of Friendship with the Friend of Sinners by Jared C. Wilson in exchange for my honest review.

I loved this book! The author spends each chapter discussing a different way that Jesus is a friend (the perfect Friend) of sinners. I appreciated the author’s vulnerability in sharing some of his most personal struggles that Jesus saw him through, and I found his insights into tribalism vs. true community especially to be very helpful. This book was full of wisdom and encouragement.

[Matt Koser · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are definitely some powerful truths of the gospel in this book. But, 3 stars for a few reasons. I usually enjoy Wilson’s sarcasm and flippancy, but it just didn’t hit for me in this book—it was distracting. 2, it was not what I was expecting based on the title and subtitle. I was expecting to find some nuggets of what it means to relate to the invisible God as a friend, but this is not his focus.

As I said, some powerful truths, but I’d probably look for those in one of his other books before coming to this one. I’d recommend “The Imperfect Disciple” by Wilson.

[Sarah Catherine Arthur · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jesus as a “friend” always seemed derivative to me, but this book sheds light on the person + holiness of Him that is impossible not to love. For anyone who has lost friends, has friends, or wants to make friends, this book uses Jesus’ relationship with us as a map for not only being a good friend to others but also by looking to Jesus for our fulfillment.
(Note: the gems found in this book overcame it, but I took a star away because I did not like the writing style at all. Overly-casual “talking to the reader” writing is simply not for me.)

[Tristany Corgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This might just be my favorite nonfiction book so far this year.💚 I really love Jared Wilson’s writing style. It’s very down to earth and full of humor and wit while also communicating deep, lovely truths of God’s Word. I found this topic of the friendship of Jesus very encouraging, as I also have struggled with loneliness throughout my life and in my Christian walk. I very much enjoyed this book and would recommend it to any Christian, regardless if they’re a new believer or have been friends with Jesus for a long time.

[Becka · Rating 4 out of 5]

Friendship with the Friend of Sinners is an encouraging look at the characteristics of Jesus as our Friend. The author spends time discussing the problems of tribalism and loneliness in today’s constantly connected world and points the reader to Jesus, the ultimate example of true friendship. I especially enjoyed the chapter: Just Abide-Jesus the Unhurried Friend.

While there is much value to this book as written, it would have been even better if there were some action steps included. Now that the reader understands the friendship Christ offers, what are some first steps for growing that relationship?

Thanks go to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

As soon as I got into this book I realized it was just what I needed. And then I realized i could read it at any point of my life and it would still be just what I needed. Through frank conversations and confession Jared quickly pulls you into the universal longing for a true friend, and then he begins unfolding many different dimensions of the beauty of Jesus, the friend of sinners, OUR friend. MY friend. He has become so much more precious to me. I highly recommend this meditation!

[Jess Arthur · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was such a gift to my soul. Jared Wilson does an amazing job of making the person and friend we have in Christ real and tangible. For me, reading this book was a practice that restored the joy of my salvation more and more in each chapter. No matter what kind of relationship you’re longing for—with Christ or not—you should read this book. I guarantee you’ll find that longing fully satisfied in God himself.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Encouraging + convicting all at once

“There is no friend truer than Jesus. This is a truth often difficult to believe…It’s hard to believe someone is there when we cannot see them there, much less believe that this someone we cannot see is the best friend available to us. And yet this is the calling of every Christian in this age…”

[Laura NC · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even in our digital hyperconnected age, loneliness is an epidemic. Wilson beautifully describes Christ’s friendship with us - the truest answer to our deepest longings, fervent hopes and private worries.

[Laurie Reyes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent and I’m bringing this one with me to plug at conferences with 10ofThose.

[Samuel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably one of the best books I’ve ever read. This book made me treasure Christ more. (I don’t know that I can give a higher compliment to a book than that.) Every chapter plumbed the depths of the character of Christ, and Wilson invites his readers not just to read about His character but to experience it in their everyday lives. Hearing these truths afresh regularly brought me to tears thinking about the generous, loyal, honest, gracious, ever-present love of Christ that permeates the life of the believer.
Many have argued that Dane Ortlund’s Gentle and Lowly may be the “book of the century” (a rather dubious claim this early on). I think Wilson has him beat with Friendship with the Friend of Sinners. Every believer should read this!

[Jeanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

His sinless life isn't merely our great example. It is HE, he is our great righteousness.

One thing that I appreciate about Jared Wilson is how he communicates his own journey. A journey that does not take away the gospel but highlights it. This text is about the journey of friendship on who Christ is and what He has done in our behalf. There are many ways to look at friendship but the friendship that Jesus offers is refreshing.

A special thank you to Baker Books and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.

[Mallory McQueen · Rating 5 out of 5]

it took me a while to get into this book, but once i starting reading one chapter a day (ish) i was zooming. each chapter focused on a characteristic of Jesus’s friendship and man oh man did this book make me love Jesus more. the final chapter was a beautifully written commentary on Jesus loving us to death, through death, and beyond death that nearly brought me to tears. jared constantly referenced scripture while explaining the nature of Jesus with helpful anecdotes from his own life that were both helpful and relatable. i honestly just loved this book. you should all read it.

[Jonathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gospel fuel

Wilson’s easy prose invites us to truly know this friend of sinners, Jesus. And in being his friend we will never be the same. Sorrow-shattering truth served fresh and on time. Grab this book and dive in.

[Rachael · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book to bridge the Christmas season and the start of the New Year, filled with the gifts of the incarnation and the incredible reality that we can know Jesus not just as Lord, but as the truest and perfect Friend.