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What's It Like to Be Married to Me?: And Other Dangerous Questions
Linda Dillow asks readers to think deeply about "What is it like to be married to me?"
Dillow understands that most women want to be faithful wives-but don't know how to get there. In her biblical and entertaining style, she shares the best and worst things she ever did in her forty-seven-year marriage. She also shares responses from her survey of five hundred wives about choices they've made in their relationships.
A reflective Bible Study with life changing projects is included. This is not a book about marriage; it is a book about how to live out marriage, day by day and year by year. Readers will come away with hope that they can be the wives they want to be, in a marriage filled with passion, intimacy, and joy
Dillow understands that most women want to be faithful wives-but don't know how to get there. In her biblical and entertaining style, she shares the best and worst things she ever did in her forty-seven-year marriage. She also shares responses from her survey of five hundred wives about choices they've made in their relationships.
A reflective Bible Study with life changing projects is included. This is not a book about marriage; it is a book about how to live out marriage, day by day and year by year. Readers will come away with hope that they can be the wives they want to be, in a marriage filled with passion, intimacy, and joy
272 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 2011
332 people are currently reading
1874 people want to read
About the author
Linda Dillow
38 books161 followersLinda Dillow is no stranger to publishing and adventure. She's the author of Creative Counterpart, Calm My Anxious Heart, and The Blessings Book. Linda and her husband Jody lived in Europe and Asia for 17 years training Christian leaders in closed countries with Biblical Education by Extension, During this time, Linda traveled extensively in Romania, Russia, Hungary, Poland and Asia. She taught women and helped them launch women's ministries. This fire for encouraging and educating others continues as she speaks at women's conferences here and abroad.
Linda's newest adventure is a new ministry that she started with Dr. Juli Slattery- Authentic Intimacy. This ministry focuses on women and their intimacy with their husbands and God.
Linda and Jody Dillow have been married forty years. She is a mother of four children, as well as a grandmother.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 106 reviews
September 24, 2016
I enjoyed this book up to around the 60% mark. It had really great advice and made me stop and think about a lot of the things I do and say in my marriage. One story on forgiveness really stood out- and really bothered me. Perhaps, I am not capable of understanding the true meaning of forgiveness, but I would have a difficult time forgiving my husband for molesting our daughter, much less continuing our marriage and it being "wonderful". I know it took a lot of time and effort for this woman to reach this. However, I don't like how she explained "getting the log out of her own eye" in order to see that she had been denying her husband intimacy. I think this book has an explanation of a woman's sin for every "bad" thing a husband does. Up until this point, I could see this, but not for this particular story.
June 22, 2019
-negative 40 stars
My husband and I were looking to do some marriage maintenance not because we were having issues just for good reminders to remain strong. We found this book and quickly found out it is yet another Christian marriage book centered around the wife changing in secret.
But I thought what the hey I'll read it and maybe there will be some good insights on there for me. It was okay up until she told one story about 60% in about a wife choosing to forgive her husband that sexually abused their eldest daughter then stay with him, then they are so blissfully healed by God they have the audacity to run marriage workshops at their church.... Gross. Gross. Gross.
You'd honestly probably have to add murder onto my list of sins if I ever found out my husband did that. It'd be a see you in hell situation.
And since the author thinks this story is such a great one to include it in her book and exalt that, I could not continue reading the rest of it without disdain.
I abandoned it after this point because the sick, nasty feeling I got after reading that story. I could not continue.
My husband and I were looking to do some marriage maintenance not because we were having issues just for good reminders to remain strong. We found this book and quickly found out it is yet another Christian marriage book centered around the wife changing in secret.
But I thought what the hey I'll read it and maybe there will be some good insights on there for me. It was okay up until she told one story about 60% in about a wife choosing to forgive her husband that sexually abused their eldest daughter then stay with him, then they are so blissfully healed by God they have the audacity to run marriage workshops at their church.... Gross. Gross. Gross.
You'd honestly probably have to add murder onto my list of sins if I ever found out my husband did that. It'd be a see you in hell situation.
And since the author thinks this story is such a great one to include it in her book and exalt that, I could not continue reading the rest of it without disdain.
I abandoned it after this point because the sick, nasty feeling I got after reading that story. I could not continue.
February 13, 2018
Not many women will buy this book.
Few will read it.
Almost none will put it into practice.
I know those are strong statements, but this is a counter-cultural book. It is written by a woman that has been married for more than 50 years. She has spent most of her life learning to live out what she teaches and helping others do the same. Almost all the stories in this book are from her ministry with women. They are women she knows.
As a pastor I was intrigued by the title and have read other books by her that I have thought were excellent and recommended to both men and women. I think most men that would read this book would tell you that there is a lot of wisdom here worth considering.
The title is a hard question to answer for many women today. We don’t like to do self-examination. The first step in improving any part of our life is to examine where we are right now. That is where she starts as she shares a story about how hard it was for her to start making different choices. The choices were not easy and she like all of us didn’t always make the right ones. I think this comes from the heart.
Each chapter title is a Question that might be hard to ask yourself. How many of your look in the mirror to see what others will see before you leave the house? I thought this was a way of helping you see what your husband sees and experiences living with you. Few of us will tell you this today because so much of this is politically wrong. I usually find God and Jesus’s teaching in conflict with what is politically correct but never the poor choice.
Linda does a great job of helping you see your relationship with your husband through his eyes. Everyone is different, but each question will help you examine your relationship with your husband and help you see what he might be feeling and experiencing living with you. That, for me, is always a great place to start. If you want to improve your relationship you can’t change another. What you can control is you. This look in the mirror may challenge you to make changes but, they will always be your choice to make.
One of the difficult chapters is on forgiveness and includes a story about the difficult journey to forgiveness and restoration of a relationship between a father that molested his daughter and his daughter and wife. I have found other comments on this story interesting in that they often don’t realize the difficult long journey that it took to get there. The truth is, it is an unusual story but does show what God can do even in the most challenging situation. Probably the most challenging part of the story is that during her self-examination she saw things that she could have done differently. I didn’t read it that as an excuse for what happened but that something had been revealed to her. Also, this is an eleven-year story. Most of us would not be willing to travel that journey.
This is a book written for women or those of us that work with women in building healthy marriages. It is a challenging book for many but, will bless you that decide to read, reflect, look at the questions and answer them honestly. As always, the choice is yours!
Few will read it.
Almost none will put it into practice.
I know those are strong statements, but this is a counter-cultural book. It is written by a woman that has been married for more than 50 years. She has spent most of her life learning to live out what she teaches and helping others do the same. Almost all the stories in this book are from her ministry with women. They are women she knows.
As a pastor I was intrigued by the title and have read other books by her that I have thought were excellent and recommended to both men and women. I think most men that would read this book would tell you that there is a lot of wisdom here worth considering.
The title is a hard question to answer for many women today. We don’t like to do self-examination. The first step in improving any part of our life is to examine where we are right now. That is where she starts as she shares a story about how hard it was for her to start making different choices. The choices were not easy and she like all of us didn’t always make the right ones. I think this comes from the heart.
Each chapter title is a Question that might be hard to ask yourself. How many of your look in the mirror to see what others will see before you leave the house? I thought this was a way of helping you see what your husband sees and experiences living with you. Few of us will tell you this today because so much of this is politically wrong. I usually find God and Jesus’s teaching in conflict with what is politically correct but never the poor choice.
Linda does a great job of helping you see your relationship with your husband through his eyes. Everyone is different, but each question will help you examine your relationship with your husband and help you see what he might be feeling and experiencing living with you. That, for me, is always a great place to start. If you want to improve your relationship you can’t change another. What you can control is you. This look in the mirror may challenge you to make changes but, they will always be your choice to make.
One of the difficult chapters is on forgiveness and includes a story about the difficult journey to forgiveness and restoration of a relationship between a father that molested his daughter and his daughter and wife. I have found other comments on this story interesting in that they often don’t realize the difficult long journey that it took to get there. The truth is, it is an unusual story but does show what God can do even in the most challenging situation. Probably the most challenging part of the story is that during her self-examination she saw things that she could have done differently. I didn’t read it that as an excuse for what happened but that something had been revealed to her. Also, this is an eleven-year story. Most of us would not be willing to travel that journey.
This is a book written for women or those of us that work with women in building healthy marriages. It is a challenging book for many but, will bless you that decide to read, reflect, look at the questions and answer them honestly. As always, the choice is yours!
January 28, 2014
I'm not sure when I last finished a book cover to cover. This amazing book, I didn't miss a single word. As I read the final words of the last chapter I held back tears, sad that is was over. I began reading this book when our third daughter was about a week old. I needed to change for my husband, for my kids. I had seen this book so many times in bookstores and just was NOT ready to ask these hard questions but with a newborn sleeping next to me, I was ready, I had to be ready. We needed change. I can say (and I firmly believe my husband would agree) that this book has been a GAME CHANGER for us. Linda challenges wives to stop looking at our husbands and start looking at ourselves. What does God need to change in us. I have been more transparent with my amazing husband in the last 4 months then in the 8 years of our marriage and I have seen a softening in his heart toward me. As my pudgy 4 month old lays sleeping beside me tonight, I think of how I have changed as a wife since she was born. As she has learned to smile, joy has resurfaced in our marriage, as she has begun to giggle, we have learned to giggle together as husband and wife again, as she has learned to hold her head up on her own, I canknow hold my head up knowing that I am yielded to continually asking the hard questions of myself and allowing God to search me deeply. Our marriage will never be the same and for that I am forever grateful!
September 21, 2014
On The Fence...
I loved the appreciation factor with this book and learning to love what you have. Also thought some of the scripture references were enlightening. On the other hand book seemed to place absolutely no responsibility on the husband side of the marriage. So although I did enjoy the book and gained something from it I don't think it would be right for all situations.
I loved the appreciation factor with this book and learning to love what you have. Also thought some of the scripture references were enlightening. On the other hand book seemed to place absolutely no responsibility on the husband side of the marriage. So although I did enjoy the book and gained something from it I don't think it would be right for all situations.
February 17, 2024
This was a good read/study to do with my women's group. I really liked all the stories. Marriage isn't easy, but investing in it is worth it!
April 23, 2015
I think growing in maturity as a Christian requires a willingness to let God change you. No one ever arrives as a Christian - that won't happen till we see Jesus. One area that women are reluctant to really let God change is our marriage. We want things our way and we expect our man to do what we say when we say it. I've never heard a group of women criticize themselves for chores left undone or needs not met but boy will they criticize their husbands for it. I decided to read this book because I know how easy it is to slip into habits in a marriage that are selfish and demanding. I wanted to let God have freedom to change me in order that my marriage wouldn't become stagnate. I kinda had a feeling by the title that my toes would get stepped on and they did. However, how can I argue with scripture which is the basis for all the author's counsel? The book contains a lot of wisdom for wives. My marriage is not about me and I think women tend to forget that quite often. I'm glad I read the book. It opened my eyes to areas in my marriage that I need to be more mindful of and it made me see anew just how blessed I am to have my husband just like he is. It also helped me see that when I focus on praying for my husband and asking God to change me instead of change him, things look vastly different. I have to confess, though, her chapter on sex kinda made me blush! I will definitely recommend this book. The author is bold and truthful which is exactly what women need to hear.
September 14, 2018
This book asks several "dangerous questions." As an unmarried person, I found it very enlightening to read about the experiences of married Christian women. As a culture, we tend to hide the less-than-ideal parts of our lives so people will think we have the perfect life. The author reveals the good, bad, and ugly of her own marriage and that of others. This encourages the reader that they really aren't alone in their struggles and that asking dangerous questions can be rewarding.
July 8, 2014
I liked many things about this book. I am impressed that Dillow is a true Titus 2 woman--an older woman, married almost 50 years, and sharing the wisdom she has learned in life's experiences. I think she is right on in many areas, and I liked the way she encouraged women to examine their part in a marriage rather than focusing on what they wish men would or would not do since we only have control over our own actions and responses.
I really appreciated many of her thought-provoking questions, such as "what will your husband say about you at your funeral" and "in what ways do you need to pray for the Lord to enlarge your heart toward your husband" and "list all the reasons you have respect for your husband" as these questions are personal and force the reader to examine self.
I am glad she was honest and pulled no punches, even at subjects that might be uncomfortable for some readers or in a small group discussion. She's not afraid to address topics that need to be addressed. My primary regret in how I read this book is that the group of (wonderful) friends I discussed this with needed to spread the study out over a three-month period and I think I lost the focus of it.
I really appreciated many of her thought-provoking questions, such as "what will your husband say about you at your funeral" and "in what ways do you need to pray for the Lord to enlarge your heart toward your husband" and "list all the reasons you have respect for your husband" as these questions are personal and force the reader to examine self.
I am glad she was honest and pulled no punches, even at subjects that might be uncomfortable for some readers or in a small group discussion. She's not afraid to address topics that need to be addressed. My primary regret in how I read this book is that the group of (wonderful) friends I discussed this with needed to spread the study out over a three-month period and I think I lost the focus of it.
October 24, 2017
I really like Dillow, she's optimistic and has a lot of consistent and applicable advice, but I had some problems with this book. There was one story where a woman forgave and reconciled with her husband who SEXUALLY ABUSED THEIR DAUGHTER when she was a child/teenager. There seemed to be insinuations that the woman was at fault (no details but I could guess "failing to fulfill his needs") and was hypocritical in her anger towards him. Unless she was also molesting children, I don't see much space for hypocrisy in this particular tale. Anyway, they all got over it and the father/predator is still in the (now adult, with her own child) daughter's life. Yes, we all can make a mistake and forgiveness is important and necessary, but even Jesus said in Matthew 18:6 that one who causes a young believer to stumble should be thrown into the sea with a millstone about his neck.
Anyway, otherwise the usual stuff about submitting as the wife, and also the husband's role, and to pray for God to work on both you and the spouse.
Includes a bible study at the end, and I skimmed that part.
Anyway, otherwise the usual stuff about submitting as the wife, and also the husband's role, and to pray for God to work on both you and the spouse.
Includes a bible study at the end, and I skimmed that part.
July 28, 2023
This can be a life changing, marriage changing book if truly taken to heart.
June 16, 2011
Really good and practical book on marriage, and more specifically my part in my marriage. I have read a lot of marriage books over the years and this is one of my favorites.
July 3, 2012
AWESOME BOOK ! So easy to read & great things to pray about. God has been great to us in our marriage :)
April 11, 2025
I'm not 100% sure what I think about this book. On one hand, it contains some phenomenal and Biblical counsel. Asking, "What's it like to be married to me?" is uncomfortable and requires honest soul-searching, which is vital if we want to be holy women of God. I loved that this book puts an emphasis on that.
On the other hand, the chapter that contains how a wife forgave her husband for sexually molesting their daughter made me pause. I agree that forgiveness is a hallmark of a Christian and required by God. This is a clear command in the Bible. But forgiveness does not always mean that trust can be restored. I personally know someone dear to me who was molested by her father, and while their father/daughter relationship was eventually reconciled, there were some permanent, serious boundaries put in place as a result of the nature of the sin. I think including such a serious issue in a chapter about forgiveness, without giving enough details and Biblical steps for reconciliation, was an unwise decision. The sexual abuse of a child is crime and should be treated as such, though no mention of that was included in the chapter.
Aside from that issue, "What's it Like to be Married to Me?" is a pretty good read. While probably half of the book contains stories from other women, the stories are obviously deeply personal and most all of them testify to the amazing work of God in struggling marriages.
On the other hand, the chapter that contains how a wife forgave her husband for sexually molesting their daughter made me pause. I agree that forgiveness is a hallmark of a Christian and required by God. This is a clear command in the Bible. But forgiveness does not always mean that trust can be restored. I personally know someone dear to me who was molested by her father, and while their father/daughter relationship was eventually reconciled, there were some permanent, serious boundaries put in place as a result of the nature of the sin. I think including such a serious issue in a chapter about forgiveness, without giving enough details and Biblical steps for reconciliation, was an unwise decision. The sexual abuse of a child is crime and should be treated as such, though no mention of that was included in the chapter.
Aside from that issue, "What's it Like to be Married to Me?" is a pretty good read. While probably half of the book contains stories from other women, the stories are obviously deeply personal and most all of them testify to the amazing work of God in struggling marriages.
October 9, 2024
There is a good deal of introspection and prayer challenges involved in this book. Writing out a marriage purpose statement, taking a hard look at my own wrong responses to his faults. Reminded me of a marriage version of Triggers, a parenting book I love.
Would definitely recommend to any wife.
Live with the end in view. What do I want Frank to say about me at my funeral?
Could I go 21 days without complaining? Could I go 21 hours? Griping is my mother tongue and gratitude, my second language so I have to work harder at it.
If you treat a man as he is, he will stay as he is. If you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will be come that bigger and better man. -Goethe
The decision to love can be very private. There is no one to applaud or say “that was a really unselfish thing to do.” There is no one who knows how much it hurts in that moment to choose love, except God.
“Lord, when we are wrong, make us willing to change and when we are right, make us easy to live with.” - Peter Marshall
“Forgiveness is an unnatural act.” - Philip Yancey
Decide IN ADVANCE to be a proactive forgiver. (Jer 17:7-8)
Live not by default but by design
Psalm 119:30-32
Would definitely recommend to any wife.
Live with the end in view. What do I want Frank to say about me at my funeral?
Could I go 21 days without complaining? Could I go 21 hours? Griping is my mother tongue and gratitude, my second language so I have to work harder at it.
If you treat a man as he is, he will stay as he is. If you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will be come that bigger and better man. -Goethe
The decision to love can be very private. There is no one to applaud or say “that was a really unselfish thing to do.” There is no one who knows how much it hurts in that moment to choose love, except God.
“Lord, when we are wrong, make us willing to change and when we are right, make us easy to live with.” - Peter Marshall
“Forgiveness is an unnatural act.” - Philip Yancey
Decide IN ADVANCE to be a proactive forgiver. (Jer 17:7-8)
Live not by default but by design
Psalm 119:30-32
January 25, 2021
Really disappointed. Linda Dillow is a regular speaker on one of my favorite podcasts, so I thought that her books would be good. While her main points were good and did cause me to really ponder, the examples she used to illustrate those points were downright dangerous. I think this the issue with marriage books and especially Christian marriage books. They love to say absolutes and share extreme stories without ever acknowledging that the same actions taken in a different marriage might be unhealthy or enabling. I've decided that marriage books just aren't a good idea. Individuals and marriages are just too different for the one size fits all model that these books love.
I honestly don't know why I even read them. My marriage is great and the insights gained are usually negligible, especially compared with the amount of harm these stories could do if my marriage was really struggling. I wouldn't recommend this to any friend whose marriage was struggling though. I know that for sure. Skip the books, fins a licensed counselor who can deal with your specific life.
I honestly don't know why I even read them. My marriage is great and the insights gained are usually negligible, especially compared with the amount of harm these stories could do if my marriage was really struggling. I wouldn't recommend this to any friend whose marriage was struggling though. I know that for sure. Skip the books, fins a licensed counselor who can deal with your specific life.
December 27, 2020
The overarching goal of this book is to cause you to stop looking at marriage in a selfish light (what can my spouse do for me), and to start assessing your marriage from a self-reflective light (what can I do for my marriage/spouse). Rather than try to force or manipulate or control your spouse, the author hits on the truth that you can only control yourself, and therefore, you should focus on what YOU can do (and not what your spouse is/isn’t doing). While the content & quality of this book was not always my favorite, I gave it a 5/5 because this book has been one of the single most helpful books in the health of my marriage.
July 13, 2020
Highly Recommended
Best book on being a wife I’ve read yet. Cannot recommend highly enough to other wives. Thank you, Linda Dillow!
Best book on being a wife I’ve read yet. Cannot recommend highly enough to other wives. Thank you, Linda Dillow!
Read
February 16, 2024Soft dnf 28%
May 19, 2022
This book is a real course correction for a wife like me who has lost sight of the fact that the Bible calls us to be devoted to helping, loving, praying for, and ministering to her husband.
Excellent ideas and suggestions for how to implement improvements in your marriage.
Excellent ideas and suggestions for how to implement improvements in your marriage.
March 14, 2021
3.75🌟
This book is Christian non-fiction and I enjoyed most of it. It’s never fun to have your thinking challenged but it is necessary sometimes. I appreciated her straightforward but scriptural view and rated it 3.75🌟. Warning - a lot will feel very old-fashioned as these two have a very gender stereotypical set-up.
This book is Christian non-fiction and I enjoyed most of it. It’s never fun to have your thinking challenged but it is necessary sometimes. I appreciated her straightforward but scriptural view and rated it 3.75🌟. Warning - a lot will feel very old-fashioned as these two have a very gender stereotypical set-up.
November 29, 2023
I read this for a women's Bible study. I appreciated a lot of what was in here and the discussions that were had through it. I will probably go over it again at my own pace as I think I will be able to get more out of it going faster than the study group did.
I didn't enjoy the questions in the back as much. They were very broad and, for me, did not help me think as much as it felt that I just needed to give the Sunday school answer.
Overall, there were things I appreciated and things I didn't quite agree with, but I think it was a worthwhile read.
I didn't enjoy the questions in the back as much. They were very broad and, for me, did not help me think as much as it felt that I just needed to give the Sunday school answer.
Overall, there were things I appreciated and things I didn't quite agree with, but I think it was a worthwhile read.
January 10, 2019
I really wouldn’t recommend this book to anyone who doesn’t want to do some serious soul work! Grace-filled, hopeful and passionately devoted to strengthening marriages, it nevertheless calls us to a higher standard of womanhood for those in marriage. Even though I only read one chapter a day, I still suspect I will need to return regularly to reflect on how well I have put some great principles into practice. The challenges focus on practical habits (don’t read this without a journal, bible and pen by your side) and challenging attitudes. Read carefully and prayerfully and I suspect you will value it as much as I did.
January 21, 2018
I really liked the beginning of the book and I think the "dangerous questions" she encourages women to think about are very thought-provoking and helpful in a nonabusive marriage, including my own. I had planned to give this book a higher rating, but I, like others who have reviewed this book, had a lot of trouble with her radical examples of forgiveness in the forgiveness chapter.
While we serve a great God who is absolutely capable of redeeming any situation, I was very uncomfortable with the story about the woman who forgave her husband for molesting their daughter and they now have a "wonderful" marriage and are enjoying their new granddaughter (who I hope is never left alone with her grandfather). The husband did serve time in prison and counseling and I'm sure we are unaware of many specifics in the situation, but ultimately I think this chapter and specific story have the potential to encourage women to stay in dangerous situations. Forgiveness and redemption are possible without remaining married in an abusive, dangerous situation. I can only hope and pray true healing took place for all involved, most especially the daughter who was molested. The book "Love Must Be Tough" by James Dobson is a much better and practical resource for those suffering in an abusive marriage.
While we serve a great God who is absolutely capable of redeeming any situation, I was very uncomfortable with the story about the woman who forgave her husband for molesting their daughter and they now have a "wonderful" marriage and are enjoying their new granddaughter (who I hope is never left alone with her grandfather). The husband did serve time in prison and counseling and I'm sure we are unaware of many specifics in the situation, but ultimately I think this chapter and specific story have the potential to encourage women to stay in dangerous situations. Forgiveness and redemption are possible without remaining married in an abusive, dangerous situation. I can only hope and pray true healing took place for all involved, most especially the daughter who was molested. The book "Love Must Be Tough" by James Dobson is a much better and practical resource for those suffering in an abusive marriage.
July 9, 2019
The main concepts in this book are solid: for example, the ways we need to change our own attitudes rather than constantly nagging and choosing to find ways to bless our husbands. HOWEVER, this book is not written by someone trained to work with families. There are issues that come up in the author’s examples that need more intervention than just reading this book. It concerns me to think that women might not speak up and communicate in healthy ways in their marriages because of how they understood what they read. It’s also very alarming to think of women blaming themselves for everything. I don’t think that’s the author’s intention, but I could definitely see there being danger of that when people are reading it. It wades into waters that require face-to-face interaction with professionals in order to keep people healthy, not just picking up a book. I think some things could be different about the way it’s written in order to make that happen.
July 31, 2015
I wasn't sure what I was getting into when I was thinking about leading this book at church in a small group. I was either going to have everyone laughed at me and say "no way, I want to know the answer that question" or I was going to have a full group. The group was full! The book went deep right away. It scared us a little bit (lol!) but it got everyone out of their comfort zone immediately! My advice is to pray fervently order this book at all times. Satan did everything he could to get in between marriages during those six weeks. However, everyone was open and sharing their past and what they want for their future and overall the book was amazing and brought us to a different level with our friendships and with God.
June 3, 2020
While there are great questions to ponder, this borders on pushing women to stay in abusive relationships, and maybe with enough prayer and surrender it will be ok.
I highly disagreed with the "restored" marriage of the sexual abuser and how he even walked the daughter he molested down the aisle and is now a seemingly happily ever after Grandpa to her daughter. Forgiveness doesn't mean a lack of safe boundaries for the survivor.
I highly disagreed with the "restored" marriage of the sexual abuser and how he even walked the daughter he molested down the aisle and is now a seemingly happily ever after Grandpa to her daughter. Forgiveness doesn't mean a lack of safe boundaries for the survivor.
June 6, 2013
Some thought provoking quotes, but I felt the content was lacking overall.
March 30, 2021
I have mixed feeling about this book. There is so much good advice here. Don't gripe about your husband and give those grips over to God. Practice gratitude. My actions should communicate to my husband that he is my priority (not my kids or my job or....) Live intentionally. Ask God to change you and not him. These are like gold.
With all this good, I want to love it, but I have three concerns. First, as others have noted, there were examples that were hard to take (including one where a wife reconciles after her husband molests their daughter and concludes she had been with holding physical intimacy as if she is somehow to blame!?). Second, there was a lack of working mom examples. This model is biblical, but it felt best suited for a traditional marriage with a stay at home spouse. Third, because it is written to wives, it completely excludes the husband's part in this. While we only control ourself, the message feels like she is saying...if there is something wrong with your marriage, it is on you. You can fix anything if you work on yourself.... It feels dangerous not to acknowledge that in some situations this is not good advice.
Read with an open mind and heart, but prayerfully asking what God wants you to take away.
With all this good, I want to love it, but I have three concerns. First, as others have noted, there were examples that were hard to take (including one where a wife reconciles after her husband molests their daughter and concludes she had been with holding physical intimacy as if she is somehow to blame!?). Second, there was a lack of working mom examples. This model is biblical, but it felt best suited for a traditional marriage with a stay at home spouse. Third, because it is written to wives, it completely excludes the husband's part in this. While we only control ourself, the message feels like she is saying...if there is something wrong with your marriage, it is on you. You can fix anything if you work on yourself.... It feels dangerous not to acknowledge that in some situations this is not good advice.
Read with an open mind and heart, but prayerfully asking what God wants you to take away.
December 27, 2019
“It seemed staying mad was my heart’s way of protecting itself....I now see how much that decision robbed so much from our healing and marriage. Now I’m anxious to begin learning how to forgive unconditionally.”
A book that has the very real potential to change a marriage and a life. I am blessed to have a solid, loving marriage, but I found much wisdom in this book. There is Biblical and practical advice strewn throughout this book with applications for any wife.
It can be hard to look at yourself and consider your own faults instead of your husband’s, but I never felt attacked or judged through the book. It was honest and helped me to reflect on myself in a loving manner.
The only perhaps downside I could find, if it is even to be viewed as a fault, is that most of the material was not completely unique. I’m certainly not accusing her of plagiarizing; rather, if you have read other Christian books on marriage such as by Elizabeth George or Gary Thomas, you will find similar themes. That is simply because I feel all of those authors are basing marriage on a strong Biblical background.
I would recommend this book to any wife, regardless of how long she had been married.
A book that has the very real potential to change a marriage and a life. I am blessed to have a solid, loving marriage, but I found much wisdom in this book. There is Biblical and practical advice strewn throughout this book with applications for any wife.
It can be hard to look at yourself and consider your own faults instead of your husband’s, but I never felt attacked or judged through the book. It was honest and helped me to reflect on myself in a loving manner.
The only perhaps downside I could find, if it is even to be viewed as a fault, is that most of the material was not completely unique. I’m certainly not accusing her of plagiarizing; rather, if you have read other Christian books on marriage such as by Elizabeth George or Gary Thomas, you will find similar themes. That is simply because I feel all of those authors are basing marriage on a strong Biblical background.
I would recommend this book to any wife, regardless of how long she had been married.
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