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Fair Youth #1
Cutters Don't Cry
19-year-old Charity Graff engages in self-harm. More specifically she cuts herself to numb emotions. In a series of raw journal entries, the confused teenager writes to her estranged father, filling him in on what's happened in her life since he left her nearly 18 years ago. Throughout the course of her letter writing, Charity chronicles her penchant for cutting, a serious struggle with depression and her inability to vocally express her feelings.
132 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 30, 2022
52 people are currently reading
10585 people want to read
About the author
Christine Dzidrums
50 books33 followersA proud Angeleno, Christine Dzidrums was born raised and lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband, two sons and daughter. She holds a bachelor’s degree in Theater Arts from California State University, Fullerton. She previously wrote the biographies: Joannie Rochette: Canadian Ice Princess,Yuna Kim: Ice Queen, Shawn Johnson: Gymnastics’ Golden Girl and Nastia Liukin: Ballerina of Gymnastics. Her first novel, Cutters Don’t Cry, won a 2010 Moonbeam Children’s Book Award in the Young Adult Fiction category. She also wrote the tween book, Fair Youth, and the beginning reader books, Timmy and the Baseball Birthday Party and Timmy Adopts a Girl Dog. Christine also authored the picture book, Princess Dessabelle Makes a Friend. She recently competed her second novel, Kaylee: The ‘What If ?’ Game.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
August 14, 2011
"I don’t view my cutting as a destructive force. The physical act keeps me safe from emotional pain that feels more threatening to me than anything a razor could inflict."
October 17, 2012
I just loved Cutters Don't Cry!
I found Charity to be very real and very relateable, and there were a few times her own story mirrored my own. There were times I couldn't stop crying, and Dzidrums did a great job at capturing the range of emotions Charity felt. I've never self-harmed but it's so easy to understand why Charity does it. And Dzidrums did a wonderful job with showing the downward spiral Charity was in. I thought the use of a journal was such a great way for Charity to share her thoughts and express her feelings. Sometimes, you write because speaking can be too hard and scary. The journal entries written to her dad were so powerful, and I loved seeing her work through everything. Her entries were very honest, and very vivid.
I also liked that Charity wrote to her dad, who she doesn't remember. Almost like writing to him was her way of telling someone what was going on, and to work out her feelings about her dad. I connected very much with Charity and her experiences, and I loved that she's 19, in college, and not sure of her future. You really see her as someone who's scared to speak up but who eventually realizes that she needs help and is ready to get that help.
The only thing I didn't like was that it was really short. I would have liked a little more closure- you see she's taking steps in the right direction, but you don't see her several months down the line. You also got bits and pieces of her childhood, and I would have liked more of that as well. But in it's own way, it did work. because you got enough of what happened and where she was headed.
Cutters Don't Cry gets a 5 out of 5. It was so well done, and I really felt like I was Charity at times.
I found Charity to be very real and very relateable, and there were a few times her own story mirrored my own. There were times I couldn't stop crying, and Dzidrums did a great job at capturing the range of emotions Charity felt. I've never self-harmed but it's so easy to understand why Charity does it. And Dzidrums did a wonderful job with showing the downward spiral Charity was in. I thought the use of a journal was such a great way for Charity to share her thoughts and express her feelings. Sometimes, you write because speaking can be too hard and scary. The journal entries written to her dad were so powerful, and I loved seeing her work through everything. Her entries were very honest, and very vivid.
I also liked that Charity wrote to her dad, who she doesn't remember. Almost like writing to him was her way of telling someone what was going on, and to work out her feelings about her dad. I connected very much with Charity and her experiences, and I loved that she's 19, in college, and not sure of her future. You really see her as someone who's scared to speak up but who eventually realizes that she needs help and is ready to get that help.
The only thing I didn't like was that it was really short. I would have liked a little more closure- you see she's taking steps in the right direction, but you don't see her several months down the line. You also got bits and pieces of her childhood, and I would have liked more of that as well. But in it's own way, it did work. because you got enough of what happened and where she was headed.
Cutters Don't Cry gets a 5 out of 5. It was so well done, and I really felt like I was Charity at times.
January 31, 2013
I have read five or six self harm books but Cutters Don't Cry was the first one to help me understand why people do it to their self. My older sister has self harmed for as long as I can remember but it wasn't until reading Charity's inner thoughts that my sister's motives finally clicked with me. I recommend this book to anybody struggling to understand the thoughts behind a loved one's self harming.
April 1, 2015
Dealing with the same problem of self harm I recommend this to any one who wants to get in the mind of a self harmer. There are different reasons for self harming but this book helps a person see that it leads to an addiction. A need. And alot of people don't understand that. I wish they would. So hopefully this book will do the trick. Great read. So real and relatable.
May 14, 2011
Cutters Don't Cry is the best book I've read about cutting. Charity's range of emotions were described spot on and made my cry several times. I also loved the honest get to the point writing. It was a fascinating read but wish the book was longer.
February 19, 2013
I felt that it was an okay book. I think the author really nailed the emotions and why she was cutting, but I feel the ending was rushed and a little awkward. Overall an okay book but I have read better books about SH
September 1, 2012
This book hit me in the gut. I lost count of all the times I cried. At times I felt like Charity was writing for me because I am still trying to find my voice. I love this book.
April 29, 2018
Cutters Don't Cry is an emotional story of a young woman, Charity, who engages in self-harm. For me, it's a difficult thing to read about due to struggles of my own. However, I find a sense of comfort with books that don't romanticize the issues people with depression deal with on a daily basis. This book is one of those. Though I feel this story would have been a lot more engaging in a show-don't-tell type of style, it was still enjoyable and moving.
As I've already said, I love that this book doesn't romanticize the issue. Mental illness is not something to be romanticized;... (more via website)
February 7, 2014
I liked how Charity wasn't cutting because she had a secret tragedy in her past and she was a depressed college student and did not know why she was depressed. This book is very honest without a big gimmick tragedy behind the feelings. It is for my 2nd favorite self harm story. Look at my profile picture to see my 1st favorite.
August 27, 2016
In this YA novel we meet 19 year old Charity Graff,a girl who lives a life with no purpose or pleasure,with feelings of hopelessness.She uses a journal to write a series of letters to her father, describing her life since he left her and her mother when she was a baby.I can feel her pain as she puts down on paper the emotions she cannot express vocally.We see glimpses of her life before she withdrew from the world and see the beginnings of her troubles in her constant strive for perfection.When Charity is overwhelmed with feelings she uses self harm to cope.Once,she reached out to her mom because she thought there was something wrong with her.Her mom told her to stop feeling sorry for herself because she doesn't have a real problem - like breast cancer.WOW,way to be supportive Mom!My breast cancer was a walk in the park compared to what this poor girl goes through.The book ends on an upbeat note as Charity gets the help she needs.She knows that she has a lifelong battle but is optimistic and looking forward to her future.Christine did an excellent job of drawing me in,like I said,I could really feel Charity's pain.This was very realistic,detailed and descriptive.It is well written with very well developed characters.I highly recommend this novel.
February 13, 2015
This book is an amazing and very accurate view at the life of someone who cuts. The book portrays cutting as a lifestyle and not just as a phase, which is a huge misconception today. Through the perspective of Charity, we are able to explore her rationale for cutting herself and the emotions that have led her to the lifestyle. We read her journey through journal entries that are written as letters to her dad. I found this book to be a wonderful representation of why some cutters cut. There were parts that felt a little rushed though but the book was still absolutely amazing. I would recommend this book for teachers, parents, and children alike. I think it could serve as a great book to learn from. It was also a very easy read. It took me only a couple hours, collectively, to read it.
"I'm scared. I don't want to die, but I'm not sure I want to live either. I don't cut myself because I'm trying to kill myself. I started cutting because it stripped away my confusion and pain. It comforted me."
This little section made the entire book real for me. Until this point, I enjoyed the book but it was just a book. This short paragraph, in my opinion, took the entire book to a whole new level.
"I'm scared. I don't want to die, but I'm not sure I want to live either. I don't cut myself because I'm trying to kill myself. I started cutting because it stripped away my confusion and pain. It comforted me."
This little section made the entire book real for me. Until this point, I enjoyed the book but it was just a book. This short paragraph, in my opinion, took the entire book to a whole new level.
June 24, 2014
I REALLYYY planned to give this book 4 or 5 stars. However, then it got to the ending, and I couldnt give the book any higher than a 3. The ending was so simple and I just dont think, if this story was real, it could end perfectly.
February 1, 2011
Some days I feel like this but i can relate to her and finding out about her dad.
November 11, 2013
I have trouble dealing with feelings,so I create physical pain to distract myself from my emotions....so sad ):
August 2, 2013
This book really surprised me for how open and candid it was. I'm glad it was so short- I don't know if I could have handled a normal novel length book of this nature.
August 31, 2013
Fast read. Enlightening glimpse into the mindset of a cutter.
July 26, 2015
If I use this journal honestly, I can write all the things I could never admit out loud.
How I envy people who don't suffocate their emotions.
How I want to laugh again and truly feel it.
How I miss even negative feelings, like anger, disappointment and frustration.
How I yearn to put down my razor forever.
Could I really have such things, though? It's seems impossible. For much of my life, I have trained myself to believe that:
Cutters can't dream.
Cutters don't feel.
Cutters can't laugh.
And most of all, cutters don't cry. (10)
Chasity Graff lives her day to day life living in a bubble of regrets and self harm, while she takes up residents with her mother in a two better apartment, her father out of the picture since she was nine months old. California, the hot summers and luscious beaches offer a shame when you're too afraid and ashamed to show of the curses of the canvas your emotional pain has painted with the form on a device sharp enough to leave behind a map of scars. By listening to her thoughts, she tries to explain it to her mother, someone who had her young but still can't come to grasp her daughter feels the same pain her father had before he fled. Now, thanks to a careless stand in the college's restroom, does a teacher, her Art Appreciation Professor Mrs. Gaines notices her scars and out of concern for her, offers her a vistit to Hunter, a close friend of her who works at a Therapist on Campus. Reluctantly seh agrees, a step forward she so desperately needed.
"Maybe someday I'll tell you my secret fears, and you won't be afraid to hear them." (83)
Charity, or better known by her Aunt Betty as Cherry, since as a child she couldn't pronounce her full name, much to her embarrasment now, takes to a diary given to her by Hunter, and finds an escape to finally let it all out. Every single thing addressed to him, to the father who walked out of her life when he couldn't handle it anymore. It all began as the teasing began in elementary and middle school, before she had Kaylee, the only friend she ever really trusted, who left within years to Washington when her father's job forced a move. With her grades slipping, she's demoted to lower level courses, which she continues to fail, which simply infuriates her mother more and more.
Hiding the idenity of her father from her, Chasity falls into love with photography, something her father used to escape before he first held her, as she became a beacon in the desolate storm clouds that coated his moods from day to day. Now, she begins to end the punching, the slapping, the cutting, except it's hard to do, which is why she acepts help and the medication prescribed for her depression and gives up trying to find the father she lost, instead accepting he was hurting more than he ever let on.
As Gwen passed by my row, her eyes flickered across my face. She smiled distractedly at me, as if she knew me but she couldn't place how. She never knew how close I'd come to being her. (90)
How I envy people who don't suffocate their emotions.
How I want to laugh again and truly feel it.
How I miss even negative feelings, like anger, disappointment and frustration.
How I yearn to put down my razor forever.
Could I really have such things, though? It's seems impossible. For much of my life, I have trained myself to believe that:
Cutters can't dream.
Cutters don't feel.
Cutters can't laugh.
And most of all, cutters don't cry. (10)
Chasity Graff lives her day to day life living in a bubble of regrets and self harm, while she takes up residents with her mother in a two better apartment, her father out of the picture since she was nine months old. California, the hot summers and luscious beaches offer a shame when you're too afraid and ashamed to show of the curses of the canvas your emotional pain has painted with the form on a device sharp enough to leave behind a map of scars. By listening to her thoughts, she tries to explain it to her mother, someone who had her young but still can't come to grasp her daughter feels the same pain her father had before he fled. Now, thanks to a careless stand in the college's restroom, does a teacher, her Art Appreciation Professor Mrs. Gaines notices her scars and out of concern for her, offers her a vistit to Hunter, a close friend of her who works at a Therapist on Campus. Reluctantly seh agrees, a step forward she so desperately needed.
"Maybe someday I'll tell you my secret fears, and you won't be afraid to hear them." (83)
Charity, or better known by her Aunt Betty as Cherry, since as a child she couldn't pronounce her full name, much to her embarrasment now, takes to a diary given to her by Hunter, and finds an escape to finally let it all out. Every single thing addressed to him, to the father who walked out of her life when he couldn't handle it anymore. It all began as the teasing began in elementary and middle school, before she had Kaylee, the only friend she ever really trusted, who left within years to Washington when her father's job forced a move. With her grades slipping, she's demoted to lower level courses, which she continues to fail, which simply infuriates her mother more and more.
Hiding the idenity of her father from her, Chasity falls into love with photography, something her father used to escape before he first held her, as she became a beacon in the desolate storm clouds that coated his moods from day to day. Now, she begins to end the punching, the slapping, the cutting, except it's hard to do, which is why she acepts help and the medication prescribed for her depression and gives up trying to find the father she lost, instead accepting he was hurting more than he ever let on.
As Gwen passed by my row, her eyes flickered across my face. She smiled distractedly at me, as if she knew me but she couldn't place how. She never knew how close I'd come to being her. (90)
December 23, 2014
This book was okay. There are definitely better books on the topic, however, there were a few redeeming qualities to this title. The portrayal of cutting was realistic and not sugar-coated. The main character was believable and oddly compelling. (Although I did not particularly enjoy the book, I read it in three days, which was due in large part to the characterization of Charity.) It's definitely worth reading if you're interested in the topic (and can get your hands on a copy of the book for free through your library).
May 25, 2012
This has to be the best book about self-harm that I've read. Yes it did make me cry several times cause I was so into it! Although the ending made me a little jealous.. Like Charity I've self-harmed for six years (I quit Jan. 9, 2012) but it took a lot of courage to open up to her mother, I still haven't done that... I'd give this book more then 5stars but goodreads won't let me :P
February 6, 2013
This book is written in a style that fascinates me, half journal and half dialogue. I think the author deals well with the topic and doesn't overdramatize or oversimplify. I look forward to reading more by this author.
February 5, 2014
It was a quick read. I didn't really feel that the plot really led anywhere..
And the front cover just plain annoyed me. If that's supposed to be charity why does she just have a few plasters on her arm and the rest is perfect skin?
And the front cover just plain annoyed me. If that's supposed to be charity why does she just have a few plasters on her arm and the rest is perfect skin?
Want to read
March 4, 2012So has anybody actually read this before? For all I see is so-and-so marked as to-read. I want to see an actual review!
December 3, 2012
Really good book. I recommend it to teenagers and young adults.
March 5, 2013
I really liked this, even though the resolution of Charity's problems came a little too easily to be mistaken for reality. Worth a read if you have an interest in the thinking behind self harm.
June 6, 2013
This book helps you feel what cutters are feeling. Most people wonder why people cut; this book allows you to understand why.
November 14, 2013
"Depression is an illness, just like any other illness. If you don't treat it, then you'll never get better."
October 26, 2013
Honest and real.
Read
April 28, 2015good bok
January 3, 2016
Hits home if these are feelings or things you have ever done or experienced. Always important to talk. A good reminder that anyone any age can feel depressed.
November 17, 2017
I wasn't really a fan. While I like books on these topics, and I've had my own run of experiences with it, I don't know, it just didn't really speak and stand out to me compared to others.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews