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Loss Leader
After many delays and last-minute setbacks, the first colony ship leaves planet Earth for a distant star. Join the crew as they discover all is not as it seems...
Originally published in Andromeda Spaceways #3
Originally published in Andromeda Spaceways #3
32 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 1, 2010
15 people are currently reading
123 people want to read
About the author
Simon Haynes
85 books172 followersSimon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock, Harriet Walsh and Hal Junior (MG) series. He divides his time between writing fiction and computer software, with the occasional bike ride thrown in for a laugh.
Simon lives in Perth, Western Australia.
Simon lives in Perth, Western Australia.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
October 28, 2023
Loss Leader
Great short story which I got for free but would have been a steal a $0.99. Well developed character with a story line that is believable. This would have made a great longer novel. Great book for anyone looking for a quick read. 2013
Great short story which I got for free but would have been a steal a $0.99. Well developed character with a story line that is believable. This would have made a great longer novel. Great book for anyone looking for a quick read. 2013
July 22, 2021
Anything can happen during cryostasis.
The descriptions of how cryostasis worked in this universe were well done. That’s one science fiction trope that simultaneously fascinates me and freaks me out a little, so I liked reading about how these machines were designed to keep people alive during their long journey.
I had a hard time keeping track of and getting to know the various characters. There were only about half a dozen of them, yet the narrator spent such scant time exploring their personalities and interests that I’d struggle to explain what any of them were like outside of their willingness to take risks and possibly have an adventure. I definitely don’t expect the same level of character development in a short story as I do in a full-length novel, but I sure would have liked to get to know them better than I did here.
The foreshadowing at the beginning was handled well. It was obvious enough for the audience to quickly begin wondering what was happening behind the cheerful scene of the launch of the Glory. With that being said, it was also subtle enough for me to understand why the characters were able to brush certain danger signs aside and prepare for their mission. They certainly had other explanations for what was going on that wouldn’t have alarmed them in the least.
As excited as I was about the premise of this story, the plot holes were too numerous and serious to ignore. I won’t say what the twist was, only that it was something that required the cooperation of a large number of people in order to have any hope of happening. The storyline was also inconsistent about explaining how the technology in this futuristic world worked, who had access to it, and what they were and weren’t capable of doing with it. These were all things that were imperative not only for the storyline but for the genre as well. The premise itself was a fantastic one, but the execution of it would have benefitted from a much stronger emphasis on how it would all logically fit together.
The ending left plenty up to the imagination. It was never quite clear to me if the author intended this to be read as a serial or simply wanted his audience to have a chance to imagine what happened next for ourselves. I personally like being left to my own devices after a certain point in the plot, so it was cool to close my eyes and picture what might have happened next.
I’d recommend Loss Leader to die-hard fans of this genre.
The descriptions of how cryostasis worked in this universe were well done. That’s one science fiction trope that simultaneously fascinates me and freaks me out a little, so I liked reading about how these machines were designed to keep people alive during their long journey.
I had a hard time keeping track of and getting to know the various characters. There were only about half a dozen of them, yet the narrator spent such scant time exploring their personalities and interests that I’d struggle to explain what any of them were like outside of their willingness to take risks and possibly have an adventure. I definitely don’t expect the same level of character development in a short story as I do in a full-length novel, but I sure would have liked to get to know them better than I did here.
The foreshadowing at the beginning was handled well. It was obvious enough for the audience to quickly begin wondering what was happening behind the cheerful scene of the launch of the Glory. With that being said, it was also subtle enough for me to understand why the characters were able to brush certain danger signs aside and prepare for their mission. They certainly had other explanations for what was going on that wouldn’t have alarmed them in the least.
As excited as I was about the premise of this story, the plot holes were too numerous and serious to ignore. I won’t say what the twist was, only that it was something that required the cooperation of a large number of people in order to have any hope of happening. The storyline was also inconsistent about explaining how the technology in this futuristic world worked, who had access to it, and what they were and weren’t capable of doing with it. These were all things that were imperative not only for the storyline but for the genre as well. The premise itself was a fantastic one, but the execution of it would have benefitted from a much stronger emphasis on how it would all logically fit together.
The ending left plenty up to the imagination. It was never quite clear to me if the author intended this to be read as a serial or simply wanted his audience to have a chance to imagine what happened next for ourselves. I personally like being left to my own devices after a certain point in the plot, so it was cool to close my eyes and picture what might have happened next.
I’d recommend Loss Leader to die-hard fans of this genre.
April 25, 2018
going through either ku or freebie day books by writer, if not either skipping, another too short not really understandable/explained enough one and/or gross etc-- trying to figure out when how and possible even IF there is kindle etc for Collect One-Two BOOKS {One, Two, then double pack with all} contains the following stories by Hal Spacejock author Simon Haynes: Sleight of Hand, The Desolator, Updown, A Piece of the Action, Catch of the Day, Yard Fail, Off Course, Billy's Book, Loss Leader, Fizz!, Thonn Day and Escape Clause. This means have to check each book to find on goodreads and pull it up IF even there to then see if have the individual book either kindle unlimited, bought/freebie day, so far and says 12 stories
Synopsis: After delays and last-minute setbacks, the first colony ship leaves planet Earth for a distant star. Join the crew as they discover all is not as it seems...
* just me keeping up with which ones reviewed as go, some won't be because couldn't find, not freebie day, not ku, etc
Sleight of Hand shows up separately on amazon/goodreads *
The Desolator shows up separately on amazon/goodreads *
Updown shows up separately on amazon/goodreads *
A Piece of the Action shows up on both but NOT ku and didn't get on freebie day etc -
Catch of the Day shows up separately on amazon/goodreads *
Yard Fail, Off Course shows up on both but NOT ku and didn't get on freebie day etc -
Billy's Book shows up on both but NOT ku and didn't get on freebie day etc -
Loss Leader shows up separately on amazon/goodreads *
Fizz! shows up {if look for it on his page, NOT by linking from goodreads} on both but NOT ku and didn't get on freebie day etc -
Thonn Day shows up on both but NOT ku and didn't get on freebie day etc -
Escape Clause NOT showing up for kindle etc -
Synopsis: After delays and last-minute setbacks, the first colony ship leaves planet Earth for a distant star. Join the crew as they discover all is not as it seems...
* just me keeping up with which ones reviewed as go, some won't be because couldn't find, not freebie day, not ku, etc
Sleight of Hand shows up separately on amazon/goodreads *
The Desolator shows up separately on amazon/goodreads *
Updown shows up separately on amazon/goodreads *
A Piece of the Action shows up on both but NOT ku and didn't get on freebie day etc -
Catch of the Day shows up separately on amazon/goodreads *
Yard Fail, Off Course shows up on both but NOT ku and didn't get on freebie day etc -
Billy's Book shows up on both but NOT ku and didn't get on freebie day etc -
Loss Leader shows up separately on amazon/goodreads *
Fizz! shows up {if look for it on his page, NOT by linking from goodreads} on both but NOT ku and didn't get on freebie day etc -
Thonn Day shows up on both but NOT ku and didn't get on freebie day etc -
Escape Clause NOT showing up for kindle etc -
November 14, 2024
Erin Campsie is in charge of the first colony ship to leave Earth so that humans can colonize other star systems. The ship and mission are led by the Reid Corp., who built the entire thing. She and her small crew, a total of four, including her, are to be in charge of the ship and the one thousand people in cryo storage. She and her crew are not immune from the need for cryo sleep either. They will join the passengers in the long sleep that will last at least one hundred years as the ship has other stars to explore if the first one is not suitable. But what they don’t know will kill them.
Yes! This is our reality. This could be our future. The physical world-building gives enough of a picture that it is not so fuzzy at the center. The ethereal world-building, what there is of it, is personal. The character’s interactions feel real. The character’s history is pretty much non-existent, but for this story, it does not need to be.
For a short story that has all of its advertised genres, it pleases this sci-fi fan. I give this story five stars out of five stars.
Yes! This is our reality. This could be our future. The physical world-building gives enough of a picture that it is not so fuzzy at the center. The ethereal world-building, what there is of it, is personal. The character’s interactions feel real. The character’s history is pretty much non-existent, but for this story, it does not need to be.
For a short story that has all of its advertised genres, it pleases this sci-fi fan. I give this story five stars out of five stars.
July 30, 2022
This story goes ahead as one might expect, but it will take an unexpected turn mid way thru it.
I was surprised at where it went, and without giving away the story, it kept me going right to the end, where it dumps me with the thought of OMG - what would I do?
Definitely worth the read.
I was surprised at where it went, and without giving away the story, it kept me going right to the end, where it dumps me with the thought of OMG - what would I do?
Definitely worth the read.
February 14, 2021
Something to ponder
A terrific short story from Simon Haynes. I can see this exact scenario happening with our current corporations in the US and China. chilling
A terrific short story from Simon Haynes. I can see this exact scenario happening with our current corporations in the US and China. chilling
December 20, 2011
A dark sci-fi regarding a small group leading colonists to another world. This is a short story, so character development is minimal, yet each character is very distinctive. I didn't find the characters extremely compelling. The story line and the discoveries the characters made were the compelling features that made this an enjoyable and interesting read.
July 25, 2012
A story which originally appeared in an early edition of ASIM (which makes me feel like I should’ve read it before, but apparently I missed that issue). What happens when a company spends piles of money on a spaceship filled with cryogenically frozen settlers that the settlers aren’t keen on boarding? You treat the mission as a loss leader, of course. A bleakly amusing tale.
December 10, 2014
This was a 32 page short science fiction story about a mission sent off from Earth into space, using Cryrogenic travel. I didn't realize it was so short when I got it, and it was too short to develop anything. It felt incomplete and kind of like there was no reason for it. It felt more like an idea for a story or book than a story or book in and of itself.
January 25, 2012
Simon's sense of humor was evident in this story but... I was left very depressed. The hopelessness of the situation--where's Clunk or Hal when you need them? Could this be the beginning of another series?
It was well written, the characters were believable. Not the best story to read before bed.
It was well written, the characters were believable. Not the best story to read before bed.
January 6, 2014
Quite a good story. Only niggle for me was that it was too short. The idea is such a good one, and I reckon an awful lot could be done with it if it were a full book. But of course, it was only ever meant as a short story, and it is a good read as is!
October 8, 2014
Loved the concept of this book and enjoyed the story, but it was so short that when I got to the end I felt a bit put out. I wanted a cleaner resolution to the end. I don't think it needed a lot more just something.
July 3, 2013
Interesting sci-fi short story. A really quick and entertaining read.
May 3, 2014
A good, dark sci-fi short story that I wish wasn't short.
December 2, 2011
Glad it was free. It was a short story--very short. Felt unfinished. Wouldn't recommend
March 24, 2017
There are some interesting ideas in the story, but the writing is fairly flat.
I am not sure what sort of tone the author is aiming for, but it is bland. I suspect, the author might be trying for satire, but is falling short of the mark.
It ends with a good cliff hanger, one in which I would like to see how the characters get out of it, but ... the writing is sufficiently bland enough that I am not interested.
There are also some weird bits of writing:
The word ‘Arseholes’ is used when a more potent word (like vampires or rabid dogs) would have been better.
“Mais si!” was an odd mix of French and Spanish. Was this intentional or did the author just put it together thinking it was all the same?
And the line, "He lowered one eyebrow", begs the question: “Can you even do that?”
Makes for a quick read if you have nothing else lying around.
I am not sure what sort of tone the author is aiming for, but it is bland. I suspect, the author might be trying for satire, but is falling short of the mark.
It ends with a good cliff hanger, one in which I would like to see how the characters get out of it, but ... the writing is sufficiently bland enough that I am not interested.
There are also some weird bits of writing:
The word ‘Arseholes’ is used when a more potent word (like vampires or rabid dogs) would have been better.
“Mais si!” was an odd mix of French and Spanish. Was this intentional or did the author just put it together thinking it was all the same?
And the line, "He lowered one eyebrow", begs the question: “Can you even do that?”
Makes for a quick read if you have nothing else lying around.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews