The Bear's Embrace: A Story of Survival

by Patricia Van Tighem

Book by Van Tighem, Patricia

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir, Survival, Nature, Animals, Autobiography

Hardcover

First published September 1, 2001

Reviews

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought The Bear's Embrace after hearing Ann Kingman talk about it on Books On The Nightstand Episode #38, Remarkable Lives...

I knew when I started this book that it would be painful to read, so why put myself through it? I thought it might give me an insight into what it takes to survive and thought surely it would end feeling hopeful. It was not to be as simple as that. .

Each reader will take something different from The Bear's Embrace. For me, that Patricia Van Tighem can share her story in an effort to heal herself and to help others, attests to her spirit. What a special woman.

In 1983, Patricia and her husband, Trevor are out for a hike in the beautiful Canadian Rockies when they are attacked by a grizzly bear. They live to tell and you think that will be the end of the story. As Patricia describes the next eighteen years of her life you realize just how much one moment in time can change all that is to come.

Patricia describes an interview with a Calgary Herald reporter a short time after the attack. The resulting story makes her livid as regards his commentary. Here is how she describes her feelings.

"The reporter says Trevor and I look better than two people have a right to look less than four months after tangling with an angry grizzly bear. Better than we have a right to look? What kind of statement is that?After hours and hours in surgery, the months in hospital, we have every right to look as "well" as we do. I don't want to feel that I am disappointing as a bear-mauling victim. I won't give any more interviews. They just don't understand."

It was at this point that I went and found the most elegant bookmark I could to mark my place. Patricia deserved it!

I rarely cry reading a book but by the time I finished Patricia Van Tighem's story my emotions were a wreck. It was not what I expected but it is a story I won't forge and will share with others. Several hours later I decided to search for her on the Internet to see what else she might have written as she is a gifted writer. Instead of further writings I found her obituary. Patricia Van Tighem Janz, at the age of 47, found peace by her decision to end her life. I am sorry for her suffering. I humbly applaud her for what she has left us.

[Book Concierge · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5***

While hiking in the Canadian wilderness, Patricia and her husband were attacked by a grizzly bear. Fortunately, other hikers came upon them shortly after the attack and helped get them to safety and summon help. They both survived, and spent months in hospital undergoing treatment of their injuries. Trevor’s primary wounds were to his leg and thigh. But Patricia suffered devastating wounds to her head and face. This is Patricia’s memoir of the years of reconstructive surgery and depression (PTSD) she suffered following that incident.

I found this gripping and interesting, truly a tale of survival, courage and triumph. But I was not prepared for the severity of mental health issues she would suffer as a result of the attack. Frankly, I was more interested in the physical aspects of her injuries; I wanted to know a bit more about the kind of reconstructive surgery she underwent. But then, she was not the surgeon, but the patient, and her experience was chiefly about the pain and suffering she endured for over fifteen years. (The attack happened in 1983; the book was published in 2001.)

[Melanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a moving account of a woman who was used as a chew toy by a grizzly bear. Ms. Van Tighem went through hell!! Not only was she fighting the pain and nightmares of the bear attack, she was also in an even more gruelling (well at least in my mind anyway) battle with healthcare and the systems (plural as she used healthcare in different provinces and countries) supposedly designed to help people.

It is no secret that Ms. Van Tighem's demon of pain and depression finally won out. The surprise though, is that she managed to endure her suffering as long as she did.

[Andrea Davidson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book both terrified and touched me so deeply, I finished reading it in less than 24 hours. I live in the same city as the author, and also have a adventurous spirit, therefore many of the locations and hikes she describes in the book are places i have been, places close to home for me. I, like trish and trevor, visit the mountains often for hikes and skiing. For this reason, this story terrified me, thinking that such a horrific experience could quite literally happen to anyone. Hearing on the local news of people getting lost in the mountains, or close encounters with wildlife such as grizzlies, seems like situations that would never happen to myself, they only happen to other people. Reading this story made me realize how real these horrible accidents are, and that being in the wrong place at the wrong time can happen to anyone. Trish has taught me a lesson i will never forget, the world truly is a beautiful place for us to enjoy, but we must not take for granted our health and safety, and respect nature and living creatures around us and do not underestimate the powers of nature. We are not invincible...

Throughout the story I felt as though in some small ways I was experiencing Trish's pain and grief, anxiety and depression along with her. Halfway through the story I found out through the internet that Trish had taken her own life only a few years ago. After learning this I was sad to continue reading since despite how the novel ended, I knew the real ending was especially tragic. After learning this I felt even more saddened by her descriptions of her depressions, her anxiety, her nightmares, knowing that in the end they ultimately got the best of her. I wanted so badly for it have a happy ending with Trish finally coming to terms with her injuries and being able to accept the accident and move past it in a healing way.

This story also grabbed onto my heart strings because I am a new nurse just a year out of school, entering the world just as Trish had been at the opening of the book. I related to her descriptions of yearning to have more time with her patients. I was intrigued by the way she described her experiences in the hospital and with her health care in general. I have been so blessed and lucky to not have ever been on the receiving side of health care.

I had no choice but to give this book 5 stars, if not for its poignant, tragic story about grief, acceptance, and moving on, but for how deeply personal if felt to me. I felt like i KNEW Trish... I felt like I could BE Trish... It left me thinking about how I would deal with such an awful, life changing experience. Would I, too, fall victim to depression and anxiety, as she did? Would I, too, feel such strong pressure from family, friends, and society to just "move on" from such an event? Also, as this took place in the 80's-90's, how has health care changed since then, would she still be treated the same way at the mental health facility now, as she was in the 90's? Or have times become easier for those faced with mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety, so as to not blame in the individual but the illness? I would like to think it would be different now, that she would have received much more support and help rather than feeling alone in dealing with her grieving....

[Judy Herzanek · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story is so much more than what I was expecting. What Patricia endured is truly mind-boggling. Her journey is written in a way that is honest, transparent and straightforward. Her struggle was just as much, a mental one as well as physical.

The author was able to pack so much into some of the very short paragraphs. I found myself going back to re-read parts, slowly thinking and imagining what things were like for her.

As a society, we are so often used to reading stories of triumph and overcoming adversity. This account is so much more real. We find out what it is truly like to live Patricia's nightmare and endure the physical and mental pain and scars that just do not heal (literally).

This book is completely absent of any reference to anything spiritual. The author struggled with deep depression and was able to convey the deep darkness and emptiness she felt. I could not help notice this void in her life.

I recommend "The Bear's Embrace" to anyone looking for a real, no holds barred account of a horrific encounter and what it is like for a woman to endure years and years of pain, disfigurement, rejection, self-loathing and mental illness.

Judy Herzanek, Co-Author:

Why Don't They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery
90-Minute DVD: Why Don't They Just QUIT? DVD Roundtable Discussion: What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.

[Natasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrifying, heartbreaking...what she went through is tragic. I found this really hard to read, despite it being written so well...the hike that she gets attacked on is one I did earlier this summer. We hike often with our kids and I just couldn't get the "what ifs" out of my head. Obviously even sadder is that she eventually committed suicide in 2005, after years of operations and pain.

[Ceeceereads · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this was going to be a dramatic survival story of a predatory grizzly bear attack. Instead, it was a haunting account of a survivor’s battle in the face of chronic debilitating health, unrecognized trauma, and declining mental health. I found this utterly devastating. It was written with such quiet and powerful emotion, it has been echoing through my mind ever since. 5 stars.

[Holly Dempster · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my favourite books. Enough said.

[CJ · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was from my late grandmother's library.

Trish and her husband are viciously attacked by a bear. This is Trish's story as told by her. And she does not paint rose colored glasses on herself. I am going to try to write this review knowing this is a real human being, but she as a protagonist was hard to root for.



The bear attack scene happens pretty quickly on in the book and only covers a few pages. The remaining chunk of the book follows Trish's life after the fact and her crippling pain and depression. Over all the book itself is depressing and not a feel good read.



I know this is a real woman and not a fictional character, but I thought the story would be inspiring. Instead I was angry. She truly is struggling to survive mentally and physically. She cannot leave her bed from the sickness and depression. You feel for her, but somehow she manages to have not one, but FOUR children that she is not mentally nor physically be there for. Trish is having children in between extended visits to the mental hospital.



The real protagonist to this story to me was Trevor, the husband. This man was also mauled and maimed by the bear, but sticks with his wife despite her depression, disfiguration, and sickness. He's a doctor fully financially and emotionally supporting their family. Although I do wonder why he thought this was a great situation for four kids.



Overall the story is tragic and it doesn't really have that happy ending you would hope. I feel for Trish. It is almost like she really did die the day of the bear attack and managed to suck other people into the darkness with her. As someone who tends to lean negative and sometimes depressed this book wasn't great for my own mental health.



Here is an excerpt after Trevor's mother has passed away: "Over the next few weeks, Trevor sinks even lower into himself. He doesn't want to answer the phone or leave the house. He hauls himself off to work, looking dead tired. He lies on the bed for hours during the day, but at night is up wandering. My depression returns, and I have to be hospitalized. Trevor stifles his own grief to support me yet again, to be fully present at work and for the children."

Tighem is actually a good writer as I did read this quickly. Tighem is brutally honest and shares things I would have taken to the grave as to not be judged so harshly. I will not pretend I can understand what she went through. I hope her children are happy and thriving. Trish did end up dying by suicide. (I just found out while writing this review). I hope she has found peace.

[Liana Pitel · Rating 4 out of 5]

My copy has an afterword by Patricia’s sister Margaret. If your copy doesn’t, then this may contain a spoiler for you.

I read this book for our book club. Read the entire book in 24 hours! Very well written personal story about PSTD and the writer’s unrelenting fight against the physical & mental pain that comes with that. Patricia was a very strong person to fight that amount of pain for so many years. I was sorry to read of her death but not surprised.

[Isabella · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not what I thought it would be but interesting nonetheless.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finished a sad story,true, of one persons' spiraling story into the depths of despair. Her struggle to deal with all those around her. Family, friends and good meaning strangers, I can not fathom the amount of personal lose she must of felt. The need for her to be pleased on how she looked and never being able to achieve it. That obsession was never won and its' price was paid. Sad. Keep Reading.

[SouthWestZippy · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is amazing Patricia and her husband Trevor survived the bear attack. She is both strong and weak in her survival and dealing with the aftermath. With the way she has written this book you can feel the raw emotion of heartache and strength.
This is not a quick read due to the subject but a quick read because you just don't want to put it down. I highly recommend this tear-jerker.

[Jean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well-written autobiography describing the author's life-long struggle with depression as a result of being attacked and disfigured by a bear. A hauntingly tragic story.

[Christine Staszak · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of a few books that I've given 5 stars. It's an amazing, sad and courageous story. Fortitudo forever Ms. Tighem. ♥️

[Kent · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book especially since I also hiked the same trail where the attack occurred and lived in the same parts of Calgary written throughout the book.
However…
I saw this book as a cautionary tale of how to avoid consistently giving in as the victim in every facet of life. I legitimately had empathy for the couple’s recovery spanning multiple years after the attack but that narrative rapidly grew thin when the couple both went back to work. By the middle of the book I would randomly open the book chunks of pages ahead and every paragraph started as depressing and frankly pathetic as the last countless paragraphs. If this was written in a Soviet gulag during the 50’s/60’s the obvious victimhood would be palatable…not this.
The author was married to a doctor, had a supportive family, was able to hike/camp/rock climb, moved to New Zealand for her husbands residency, moved back to Canada, had three children and yet still found it in her meaningless existence that rock bottom did in fact have a basement. There is truly nothing quite as nauseating as a needy woman living in a first world nation surrounded with all the family, friends and children one could ever hope for to be like this.
If anyone could suggest some books on Joan of Arc or possibly Female Kurdish freedom fighters in northern Iraq I would be forever grateful.

[Kate Victoria RescueandReading · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had me in absolute tears. A young woman in the prime of her life is mauled by a bear.
She overcomes disfigurement, multiple surgeries and PTSD to have children, take University courses, and work as a nurse. The rest of her life she is misdiagnosed, in chronic pain, fighting bouts of debilitating mental health concerns, and ultimately alone in her suffering. Even those that try to help ultimately lose their patience and empathy, thinking Trish is attention seeking or making things out to be worse than they are. All Trish wants are medical professionals to hear her, validate her concerns, find solutions for her physical and mental anguish.

As a healthcare worker who is often overworked, this was a timely reminder to focus on the patient beneath the diagnosis. I strive to provide wholistic patient centred care, the kind of care that Trish didn’t receive. My heart is broken for her and knowing that her suffering became too great is the heartbreak at the end of the story.

I think anyone who has had family in the healthcare system (for physical or mental ailments), patients, and healthcare providers need to read Trish’s story.

[Katie Bliss · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm a sucker for a survival story, but this one was pretty rough. The bear attack took up a very small portion of the book, with the rest devoted to Van Tighem's dozens of surgeries, chronic pain and infection, depression, PTSD and trying to produce/raise a family and maintain her marriage. It seemed all along the way to me that she was fighting a losing battle, and I was really, really saddened to see that seven years after this book was published, she finally had success in ending her own life. She was never able to overcome her fear, anger, and insecurity, despite having four beautiful children and a husband who worked doggedly to love her and maintain stability in the family. It seemed she was never able to find anything or anyone "enough" to give her the peace and hope she needed to survive.

[MarkedWoman · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was difficult to finish because I really wanted some kind of happily ever after ending, the kind you get in fiction instead of real life. The actual ending was abrupt and left me with an unfinished feeling, as though the words were still unwritten. The beginning was fairly detailed, so the contrast with the ending was marked. I am not certain how I would like to see it improved. Perhaps it would be best viewed as a volume written for the good of the writer rather than the reader - although that seems a harsh thing to say. Perhaps incorporating the diagnosis of PTSD into the account to a greater degree would help, and would also assist readers in knowing that this diagnosis is possible for types of stress that don't make the headlines.

[Ava Vanderbeek · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will forever change me. My mother read this book when she was in her twenties and said she would never look at the Rockies the same. Now in my twenties, I have read it and it has done the same for me.

As Calgarians, we were always in the mountains and I even lived in Canmore for a short while. I knew I had to read this book since it was held such weight for my mother growing. This book is so much more than a story of a bear attack. It is of courage, the feelings of being a woman whose body betrayed her and was shredded by the hands of doctors, and terrific pain. I feel for her children and husband whose lives were changed in just one moment at such a young age. It is easy to feel invincible when I am this young and hiking all over Canada but this book really changed me.

[Alisha · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Bear's Embrace was one of the hardest books for me to read. I can't believe what Patricia went through and how despite the attack, she tried to continue living her life.

Her story really emphasizes how she was treated and how she received care. There were so many eye opening scenes where one would be surprised by how nurses treated her.

My heart brakes and I cannot believe everything she went through from the attack, to infections, surgeries, depression, anxiety, PTSD. How she managed to be a wife, mother, friend, and daughter surprised me. Patricia opened my eyes to realize the strength and determination one can have.

[Laurel Pole · Rating 5 out of 5]

I rated this at a 5 because it was well written and I thought it took incredible courage to write her own story on this event.
Incredibly sad, in fact so sad I couldn’t wait to finish it.
That one person had to go through all this misery all her life makes me wonder why … who makes theses decisions to make someone’s life so good and some other good persons life so terrible and complete misery !
This poor woman had post traumatic stress from her accident and yet no one knew how to help her thru that and she had to endure one operations after another . One very poor soul!

[Charlotte R.S. · Rating 2 out of 5]

The most depressing book I've ever read. Especially considering that in the very end, some years after this book was published, the author didn't choose life. I hate giving a book like this a less than stellar review, because it's not a fault in the writing. There is nothing inspirational here as the tagline claims. This book is a narration of long, unremitting suffering, that resulted ultimately not in life and overcoming adversities, but in death and failure.

[Linda Varro · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a moving story of Patricia's ordeal in surviving a bear attack and the years
of pain and suffering she went through during reconstruction. Her soul was scarred by this experience and she went into depression, psyc.treatment. It was heart-rending to read and I don't know how she survived as long as she did. Her honesty is right there in every page. I was also moved by the loyalty and love of her husband and her children.

[Carolyn]

I first found out about this book on a podcast. I was instantly intrigued.
It does not feel right rating this book. This book was hard to read especially as I knew she died by suicide a few years after completing it.
Everyone saying that they wished for a “happy ending” or more of a resolution at the end made me angry.
I think no one has any right to comment on her writing styles or her experiences.
I feel very protective of Patricia for some reason.

[Caitlin Rad · Rating 5 out of 5]

First of all rest in peace to this amazing woman. She fought one of the biggest fights of depression, PTSD and chronic pain that I have ever read about in memoir form so far. Her account of how this attack affected her and her family is beautifully written and heart breaking. Her strength is empowering as she fought such demons for 22 years.

[Jan Tisdale · Rating 5 out of 5]

1983 the author was attacked by a grizzly, she endured many surgeries, reconstructive and depression. In 2005 after book was done she sadly ended her life.
“ she did a great job explaining what it’s like to be attacked, she was a strong lady and went through so much.
I need to google her last years before she ended her life and about her sister dying during a seizure.”

[Emma Paton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love how this book dove straight into the attack. What captivated me about this book was the psychological struggles one faces after such a horrific life-changing by event. It was such a vulnerable account of the author’s experience and that we can overcome physical hardship but still be faced with invisible hardship.

[Candoo · Rating 5 out of 5]

And this book I found courage. The message that I am taking away has to do with surviving pain. Pain comes in many forms, be at physical, be at mental, or be it of the heart or soul. Trying to survive, is what they did, they had no choice.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bravely written. I felt everything the writer felt. To its very core. It pained me to hear how another felt dealing with depression. To know she layered committed suicide much later. Hurts me to know she couldn't cope and now she rests.