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Mark Twain Wit and Wisecracks
This handsome pocket-sized volume presents a range of quotations by America's foremost satirist. Selections include ''Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.'' ''April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty four.'' ''I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.''Quotes are complemented by fascinating black-and-white images throughout, such as photographs of Twain before his home in Hannibal, Missouri, at home in Hartford, Connecticut, at a birthday dinner at Delmonico's, at his billiards table, etc., plus a photo of his steamboat pilot's certificate, and more.64-page hardcover pocket gift book with two-tone gold cover and full-color interior.Measures 3-14'' wide x 5-3/8'' high.Makes a great gift!
64 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 1, 1961
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About the author
Mark Twain
8,852 books18.6k followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known by the pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist and essayist. He was praised as the "greatest humorist the United States has produced," with William Faulkner calling him "the father of American literature." His novels include The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), with the latter often called the "Great American Novel." Twain also wrote A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (1889) and Pudd'nhead Wilson (1894), and co-wrote The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today (1873) with Charles Dudley Warner.
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known by the pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist and essayist. He was praised as the "greatest humorist the United States has produced," with William Faulkner calling him "the father of American literature." His novels include The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), with the latter often called the "Great American Novel." Twain also wrote A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (1889) and Pudd'nhead Wilson (1894), and co-wrote The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today (1873) with Charles Dudley Warner.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
January 31, 2021
"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." Words to live by. This is a neat little book of quotes which will remind you to pick up one of Twain's works once in awhile and dig in to the snide and scrappy mind of this American genius. I would have liked a note or an appendix telling from where each quote was taken , but the book is what it is: a small book to give you a chuckle or a sigh.
August 29, 2025
He’s so sassy I love him
January 30, 2021
I love Twain quotes even when they're not his. All of these in here belong to him. This is a shorty that could be handled in one sitting, but I decided to savor it with just a few pages a night. Some quotes are humorous, some are merely wise, but most were both. The only reason it doesn't get five stars is that it's missing a few gems I love. Such is the bane of having looked into MT's witticisms extensively. All of the quotes come from his various writings, letters, stories, novels, etc.
Here are a few I enjoyed. I'll leave out the ones everyone knows and just stick to those that were either unfamiliar or that I haven't seen in forever:
"Adam was but human - this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent."
"He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages."
"There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get. How strange it is!"
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." (I know that's a common one, but I'm including it because I always thought it was from Winston Churchill. I'm now more educated.)
"There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce."
You know whether or not you'd like this, but I wouldn't seek it out. It was probably found in the impulse aisle at a bookstore. If you really want a book of his quotes, get the real deal; I'm sure there's one out there.
Here are a few I enjoyed. I'll leave out the ones everyone knows and just stick to those that were either unfamiliar or that I haven't seen in forever:
"Adam was but human - this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent."
"He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages."
"There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get. How strange it is!"
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." (I know that's a common one, but I'm including it because I always thought it was from Winston Churchill. I'm now more educated.)
"There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce."
You know whether or not you'd like this, but I wouldn't seek it out. It was probably found in the impulse aisle at a bookstore. If you really want a book of his quotes, get the real deal; I'm sure there's one out there.
January 23, 2018
Love his humor and wit and wisdom.
April 9, 2018
I mean...not a lot to say about this. It is a bunch of funny quotes by Mark Twain and none of them have any context haha. This was fast and a quick read and made me chuckle.
June 4, 2021
Great quotes inside. Good to glance over when you're having a long poop and starting to get bored of just sitting there pushing. You can always count on Twain to give you a boost!
December 31, 2023
Love how much he dunks on the French
February 21, 2024
Always the humorist commentator on human infallibility the problem with man is its own and not to be mistaken with those of savages
February 29, 2024
funny and brief as befits a leap day
November 11, 2024
Quick fun. Grandma gave this to Dad in 1995, “to my wise, witty and WONDERFUL son, Rusty”
December 29, 2024
Great quotes from Mark Twain. However, a couple quotes needed context
May 1, 2025
I like ole Mark, funny guy
November 29, 2025
Very short book, readable in an hour or so. Full of plenty of underused gems to save for later use. This small book has an outsized number of dog ears in my collection.
July 9, 2025
Twain the master humorist
A lot of timeless insights. Interesting in that his comments on humans is such appropriate for all ages, yes our current state :)
A lot of timeless insights. Interesting in that his comments on humans is such appropriate for all ages, yes our current state :)
September 14, 2021
An amusing though, obviously incomplete compilation. But where are the citations?
July 25, 2014
I am a fan of Mark twain. his fiction is classic- his Mississippi river colloquialisms unparalleled. that being said, I was disappointed in this book of his quips. I was surprised with his pessimism in human nature. there was almost nothing of value in the entire book. read his fiction- leave his non-fiction.
May 21, 2023
Pop Sugar Reading Challenge 2023 - a book by an author with the same initials as you
52 Book Club 2023 challenge - Under 200 pages; author with the same name as me (using initials)
Visited my parents and my mother pulled out this original 1961 little hardback that my father used to add humor to his speeches. Some are really good, most have withstood the test of time, and few not so much.
52 Book Club 2023 challenge - Under 200 pages; author with the same name as me (using initials)
Visited my parents and my mother pulled out this original 1961 little hardback that my father used to add humor to his speeches. Some are really good, most have withstood the test of time, and few not so much.
December 18, 2014
Fun quick read.
Some great pearls you have probly heard quoted or misquoted TONNES.
Certainly some darker humor too, and some outright black humor.
Not a book I will go back and re-read, but worth the 5 minutes it takes to get through.
Some great pearls you have probly heard quoted or misquoted TONNES.
Certainly some darker humor too, and some outright black humor.
Not a book I will go back and re-read, but worth the 5 minutes it takes to get through.
July 23, 2020
A Man of his time
Train's contradictory nature comes out in this brief collection. He was wise at times, yet sarcastic and contrary. This collection contains some gems of each type.
Train's contradictory nature comes out in this brief collection. He was wise at times, yet sarcastic and contrary. This collection contains some gems of each type.
August 9, 2007
The great American genius!
May 14, 2010
A book to pull out for fun quotes.
February 19, 2017
Found this in the Samuel Clemens room in the Garth Woodside Mansion where I'm staying in Hannibal, MO. It's the same room Mark Twain stayed in when he visited Hannibal, so I had to read it here.
August 12, 2016
Bought this at the Mark Twain Boyhood Home & Museum in Hannibal, MO. A nice quick little read of some of his witty, satirical, funny, & intelligent statements.
July 23, 2014
I liked this book. I probably liked it because I enjoy wit and wisecracks. I also like reading Mark Twain.
October 5, 2014
there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
February 9, 2016
This little tome was a gift. Per its title, it is filled with the witticisms of Mark Twain. You will ponder his thoughts much longer than it takes to read the book.
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June 13, 2018Loved it. Mark Twain was a sage for all ages.
August 25, 2018
TIMELESS AND SO ENJOYABLE
I am astonished and so delighted with the authors wit and perception that is still so entertaining these many years following his demise.
I am astonished and so delighted with the authors wit and perception that is still so entertaining these many years following his demise.
July 1, 2021
Lots of clever, hilarious one-liners, but many I would have appreciated more in the context of the stories they were written in.
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November 20, 2009Loved this compliation.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews