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The Feminist Killjoy Handbook: The Radical Potential of Getting in the Way
A renowned feminist thinker argues we need to get in the way of happiness, our own and other people’s, to build a more just world
Do you refuse to laugh at offensive jokes? Have you ever been accused of ruining dinner by pointing out your companion’s sexist comment? Are you often told to stop being so “woke”? If so, you might be a feminist killjoy—and this handbook is for you. In this book, feminist theorist Sara Ahmed shows how killing joy can be a radical world-making project.
Presenting sharp analysis of literature, film, and influential feminist works, and drawing on her own experiences as a queer feminist scholar-activist of color, Ahmed reveals the invaluable lessons of the feminist killjoy, from the importance of asking questions to the power of the eye roll. The Feminist Killjoy Handbook offers an outstretched hand to feminist killjoys everywhere and an essential intellectual guide to the transformative power of getting in the way.
Do you refuse to laugh at offensive jokes? Have you ever been accused of ruining dinner by pointing out your companion’s sexist comment? Are you often told to stop being so “woke”? If so, you might be a feminist killjoy—and this handbook is for you. In this book, feminist theorist Sara Ahmed shows how killing joy can be a radical world-making project.
Presenting sharp analysis of literature, film, and influential feminist works, and drawing on her own experiences as a queer feminist scholar-activist of color, Ahmed reveals the invaluable lessons of the feminist killjoy, from the importance of asking questions to the power of the eye roll. The Feminist Killjoy Handbook offers an outstretched hand to feminist killjoys everywhere and an essential intellectual guide to the transformative power of getting in the way.
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First published October 3, 2023
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About the author
Sara Ahmed
54 books1,686 followersSara Ahmed is an independent queer feminist scholar of colour. Her work is concerned with how power is experienced and challenged in everyday life and institutional cultures. Her most recent book is No is Not a Lonely Utterance: The Art and Activism of Complaining which came out with Allen Lane in September 2025, and which is a companion text to The Feminist Killjoy Handbook which was published by Allen Lane in 2023. Previous books include Complaint! (2021), What's The Use? On the Uses of Use (2019), Living a Feminist Life (2017), Willful Subjects (2014), On Being Included: Racism and Diversity in Institutional Life (2012), The Promise of Happiness (2010) and Queer Phenomenology: Orientations Objects, Others all published by Duke University Press. She blogs at feministkilljoys.com and has a newsletter https://feministkilljoys.substack.com/.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 291 reviews
July 5, 2023
I really wanted to like this book so much. But I didn’t. The points made are super important, and some thoughts stuck with me. Like: do what you can, when you can, where you can. To be a feminist killjoy is about looking for those openings, however small, when you might be able to say something, do something, get through to someone. Only so much can matter so much.
But overall the writing was too abstract, too all over the place, too academic. I was bored and could barely get through it.
But overall the writing was too abstract, too all over the place, too academic. I was bored and could barely get through it.
May 8, 2023
The Feminist Killjoy Handbook is the best and most galvanising feminist book I've read for a long time. Ahmed's writing is succinct and nuanced, intersectional and specific, passionate and measured. She has written a genuine handbook, which distills a great deal of feminist theory and practise into wise, witty, and memorable maxims. The figure of feminist killjoy is extremely useful and the book is structured really neatly around different roles this figure can play: cultural critic, philosopher, poet, and activist. The key points are set out as Killjoy Truths, Killjoy Maxims, Killjoy Commitments, and Killjoy Equations. I immediately related to being a killjoy, as I've never been (or wanted to be) a fun person. The handbook's systematic treatment of how to live the feminist killjoy life is thorough and practical.
Ahmed worked as an academic for more than twenty years before resigning in protest at her university not dealing with the problem of sexual harassment. Thus many of the examples she cites are from the academia and the book will be particularly hard-hitting for university employees. I worked in academia for four years and hated it, for many reasons including sexism and an institutional culture that ignored sexual harassment. Ahmed's experiences reminded me how very glad I am to be out of that world. I could have done with this book back then, frankly.
I am in awe of Ahmed's skilful writing. She explains so much in a couple of short phrases:
This wonderful succinctness notwithstanding, there is nothing reductive about Ahmed's writing. She emphasises dialectics over dichotomies:
Ahmed's concept of the feminist killjoy draws upon a range of excellent feminist writing, such as:
I was also reminded of other reading, for example this point neatly summarises a central theme of Kate Beaton's Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands:
Honestly, it's tempting to quote most of the book as it's so pithy and brilliant. I was particularly taken with this on institutions:
Central to being a feminist killjoy is willingness to acknowledge and confront the injustice happening right in front of your face:
That particularly chimed with my experience of leaving academia. My last day there was spent preventing a significant chunk of my workload being unfairly dumped onto a female PhD student. Whether you have experienced academia or not, though, The Feminist Killjoy Handbook is an excellent guide to resisting oppression. I loved it and plan to give copies to friends. I also want to read more by Ahmed and the authors she recommends in the recommended reading section. Finally, the pastel cover design is delightfully kitsch and an inspired choice.
Ahmed worked as an academic for more than twenty years before resigning in protest at her university not dealing with the problem of sexual harassment. Thus many of the examples she cites are from the academia and the book will be particularly hard-hitting for university employees. I worked in academia for four years and hated it, for many reasons including sexism and an institutional culture that ignored sexual harassment. Ahmed's experiences reminded me how very glad I am to be out of that world. I could have done with this book back then, frankly.
I am in awe of Ahmed's skilful writing. She explains so much in a couple of short phrases:
FEMINISM = A HISTORY OF UNNATURAL WOMEN
Feminism is treated as a flight from nature. Ideology is history turned into nature. To fight against inequalities is to hear how they are justified. Justifications become tired. And so we become tired too.
This wonderful succinctness notwithstanding, there is nothing reductive about Ahmed's writing. She emphasises dialectics over dichotomies:
Let me affirm that being a feminist killjoy can be how we survive. Reclaiming the feminist killjoy sounds empowering and energising. And it can be. Reclaiming that figure sounds tiring, difficult, and painful. And it can be. The feminist killjoy teaches us that these are not two different stories of feminism, one about empowerment and self-actualisation, energy and hope, the other about pain, exhaustion, and difficulty, but two sides of the same story. We are empowered and energised not by keeping our distance from what is painful, but by working through it, acquiring a clearer, sharper sense of who we are and of the world we want. Killing joy is a world-making project.
Ahmed's concept of the feminist killjoy draws upon a range of excellent feminist writing, such as:
The effort to protect someone from unhappiness does not lead to happiness. Audre Lorde's work helps us to understand why. Lorde suggests, 'Looking on the bright side of things is a euphemism used for obscuring certain realities of life, the open consideration of which might prove threatening or dangerous to the status quo.' She moves from this observation to a wider critique of happiness as an obscurant: 'Let us seek "joy" rather than real food and clean air and a saner future on a liveable earth! As if happiness alone can protect us from the results of profit-madness.'
I was also reminded of other reading, for example this point neatly summarises a central theme of Kate Beaton's Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands:
When you know that to say no is to be judged as antisocial, it is hard to say no. To say no, no to the harasser, but also no to the structure that enables the harasser, requires a refusal to be what we are told is a right or good way to be. But that you say no also means you become conscious of how you were taught.
Honestly, it's tempting to quote most of the book as it's so pithy and brilliant. I was particularly taken with this on institutions:
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST = SURVIVAL OF THOSE WHO FIT
[...] An institution, too, is shaped by processes of selection. It might appear as if the moment of selection is accidental; that this person or that person just happens to fit the requirements, the way this stone just happens to be the same size as that hole in a wall. Once a building has been built, once it has taken form, more or less, some more than others will fit the requirements. The same people will keep having the qualities referenced as being necessary to fill the vacancy when the vacancy was created with them in mind. It can then appear as if some people just happen to fit, rather than they fit because of how the structure was built.
The appearance is turned into an argument. When you point out the structure, they reply it was an accident: we are here now because we just happened to meet the requirements. This is how a structure can disappear by accident.
Central to being a feminist killjoy is willingness to acknowledge and confront the injustice happening right in front of your face:
It is too easy to be critical of sexism or racism, of power or harassment, in general. [...] To be a killjoy activist is to learn what happens when you try to address problems 'closer to home'. Sometimes action is not taken because there is a refusal to hear about problems here. In my introduction to the killjoy, I noted that we need to snap a bond when it is damaging or diminishing. We might need to snap a bond to institutions to prevent other people being damaged by them.
That particularly chimed with my experience of leaving academia. My last day there was spent preventing a significant chunk of my workload being unfairly dumped onto a female PhD student. Whether you have experienced academia or not, though, The Feminist Killjoy Handbook is an excellent guide to resisting oppression. I loved it and plan to give copies to friends. I also want to read more by Ahmed and the authors she recommends in the recommended reading section. Finally, the pastel cover design is delightfully kitsch and an inspired choice.
September 25, 2023
Fantastic! A handbook full of powerful Killjoy Truths, inspiring Killjoy Maxims and Killjoy Commitments, and insightful Killjoy Equations. This book made me feel seen and made me want to commit more fully to listening to the feminist killjoy! Ahmed introduces the figure of the feminist killjoy and briefly describes the history of the "bad" feminist, the loud and opinionated feminist, the angry black woman, and so many other aspects that can be discovered in the feminist killjoy. The book also shows how killjoys might kill feminist joy, by bringing the discussion of racism, inequality, transphobia or queerphobia into feminist spaces, and it also has a continuous focus on intersectionality and the importance of recognizing how these issues are related.
Ahmed writes about so many things in this book that each feel more important than the last, from how happiness can be understood as equal to one's proximity to whiteness, to how transphobia displaces homophobia whilst taking its exact form (which I had not considered before), to how we are heard as broken records repeating the same things even though we are just responding to the same old comments made by others.
I really enjoyed reading this book, especially because Ahmed quotes and references so many other inspiring feminists, and has a list of recommended reading at the back which I will definitely be making my way through! Highly recommend!
Ahmed writes about so many things in this book that each feel more important than the last, from how happiness can be understood as equal to one's proximity to whiteness, to how transphobia displaces homophobia whilst taking its exact form (which I had not considered before), to how we are heard as broken records repeating the same things even though we are just responding to the same old comments made by others.
I really enjoyed reading this book, especially because Ahmed quotes and references so many other inspiring feminists, and has a list of recommended reading at the back which I will definitely be making my way through! Highly recommend!
January 17, 2025
Really wanted to like this book, and there's many wonderful and empowering thoughts that will stay with me. But I didn't enjoy her writing style so much and it took me a long time to get through the book.
August 29, 2023
A must-read for anyone who's ever been called a 'bimbo' at their office job. Or been told to stick to the front desk because you have the 'right look'. Or felt your manager's hands constantly on your waist, your shoulders, your back and even lower; and brushed it off because he's just European. Or went to a trusted teacher about a boy in your grade only to be told he's from a good family, so surely his intentions were just fine. Or walked into a conversation that had landed on 'I'm not saying women shouldn't have rights, BUT...'. Or been told a guy was turned off you because he deemed you 'too intelligent'. Or been labelled a personality hire. Or felt physically shocked the first time you heard a woman describe herself as smart. Or felt physically ill when you were told a male friend of yours took it too far with a girl, even when she pretended to pass out; but it's fine, he was drunk too, he just has to be more careful. Or realised one day that most of the wealth, power, and status you'd achieved had only been granted to you because you largely appealed to men; you had taken nothing, you had only received. Or been told it's wise to laugh off the thinly veiled sexism and joke back; to replace justified anger with a form of rebuff that is acceptable and doesn't disrupt, or parse, or actually make any room for the gradations of women's resistance.
Actually, this is a must-read for anyone ever.
Actually, this is a must-read for anyone ever.
November 15, 2024
This book suffers the same issues as the author’s other book “Living a Feminist Life”, in that it’s frustratingly repetitive and redundant.
There’s a number of good points made, but you have to wade through the PARAGRAPHS of “(Word) is defined as (definition), it also means (another definition) and (a slightly different definition), but to (definition) is to (other definition), for how can we (definition) if we don’t (slightly different definition)?”
It’s also, as the title may imply, not a handbook- It’s more so a series of essays and anecdotes. The academic jargon and the nature of the writing also isn’t accessible for the layperson who may be seeking an actual handbook.
There’s a number of good points made, but you have to wade through the PARAGRAPHS of “(Word) is defined as (definition), it also means (another definition) and (a slightly different definition), but to (definition) is to (other definition), for how can we (definition) if we don’t (slightly different definition)?”
It’s also, as the title may imply, not a handbook- It’s more so a series of essays and anecdotes. The academic jargon and the nature of the writing also isn’t accessible for the layperson who may be seeking an actual handbook.
August 12, 2024
Unfortunately somewhat underwhelming, not that practical at all and somehow when I read it, all the time I was thinking "I know this already"
July 13, 2025
only came to page 125 but I'll not continue reading this. it is full of emotional thoughts on how to come together as feminists and how people can feel in specific situations, but while reading it I figured that it wants to create more a feeling about feminism than an analysis of circumstances why there is feminism and how we can benefit from being feminists. Jesus, is there a queerfem-author that doesn't do that? pls recommend, if you know one... I missed a materialistic perspective and an acknowledgment of class in the texts. It had no relevance for me because it ignored those topics completely and looking at the following chapters I guess they won't be in them as well. I don't think that looking at feminism always has to be rational and free from emotions (which would be again a very misogynistic view), but a balance between this two things said above would be great.
Maybe a read for another time, but not for now.
Maybe a read for another time, but not for now.
December 20, 2025
5 stars
“To be a feminist killjoy is about changing our expectations, turning disappointment into an opening, a window of opportunity.”
I cant recommend this book strongly enough in words alone. What an experience. It’s like everything I’ve understood has been put out on sheets of paper and presented to me again. I’ve fallen in utter love with this book. Everyone should read it.
“To be a feminist killjoy is about changing our expectations, turning disappointment into an opening, a window of opportunity.”
I cant recommend this book strongly enough in words alone. What an experience. It’s like everything I’ve understood has been put out on sheets of paper and presented to me again. I’ve fallen in utter love with this book. Everyone should read it.
February 11, 2025
“If you have to wave your arm furiously, it is not surprising you appear furious. Maybe, just maybe, you are as you appear.”
ahmed veit alveg hvað hún syngur og ég fæ alltaf smá áfyllingu á feminista orkuna mína þegar ég les hana.
ahmed veit alveg hvað hún syngur og ég fæ alltaf smá áfyllingu á feminista orkuna mína þegar ég les hana.
February 17, 2023
Sara Ahmed's 'The Feminist Killjoy Handbook' is for the everyday feminist. Within it, she addresses key issues within society and how to navigate through and around them. Though the title suggests 'handbook', it is certainly just as much of a manifesto. Opening with a personal anecdote, Ahmed shares stories and media articles, Ahmed considers race, religion and queer identity, truly delving into the core of the lies society mass produces and sells to its people.
Ahmed was once a professor of Race and Cultural Studies at Goldsmiths, but resigned in protest to the failure of the university's dealings with sexual harassment. She is now an independent scholar. Since, Ahmed has published a plethora of scholarly texts dealing with feminism, race and postmodernism.
Thank you to the publisher for sending me an advanced reader copy.
Ahmed was once a professor of Race and Cultural Studies at Goldsmiths, but resigned in protest to the failure of the university's dealings with sexual harassment. She is now an independent scholar. Since, Ahmed has published a plethora of scholarly texts dealing with feminism, race and postmodernism.
Thank you to the publisher for sending me an advanced reader copy.
August 17, 2023
Sara !!!!! My queen 😭😭😭 Love this more digestible/general-readership type of book from one of my favourite scholars and thinkers. Interesting that some found the writing to be too academic when my only gripe with it would be that I wished she pushed that boundary more – but I understand that this is written for a particular audience in mind. She is so skilful at interdisciplinary writing, combining all types of knowledges, anecdotes, and fields of study. She is who I want to be when I grow up!!!! Each chapter was so comforting and familiar, like a celebration of her tremendous oeuvre. I love the premise of this book as a handbook, because I will keep it beside me <3
April 25, 2024
The Feminist Killjoy Handbook follows the figure of the feminist killjoy - she who gets in the way of others' comfort, who speaks up to name sexism, who won't just be quiet and go along to get along. Ahmed's work is deeply intersectional & queer, she clearly names transphobia as fundamentally anti-feminist, and her analysis is simultaneously precise and applicable to an array of contexts (personal relationships, institutional contexts, policy-making - she discusses 'scale' early on).
I've read quite a lot of Ahmed's work prior to this - her work on phenomenology as well as Living a Feminist Life being absolute favourites and significant influences on my thinking - and have an academic background in theory. I did find this book much more 'general audience' oriented than many of her other texts, and likely more approachable; I appreciate the inclusion of a detailed recommended reading list as well as discussion questions. I want to gift this book to a significant number of people in my life.
Content warnings: discussions of sexism, misogyny, sexual harassment, sexual assault, racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia
I've read quite a lot of Ahmed's work prior to this - her work on phenomenology as well as Living a Feminist Life being absolute favourites and significant influences on my thinking - and have an academic background in theory. I did find this book much more 'general audience' oriented than many of her other texts, and likely more approachable; I appreciate the inclusion of a detailed recommended reading list as well as discussion questions. I want to gift this book to a significant number of people in my life.
Content warnings: discussions of sexism, misogyny, sexual harassment, sexual assault, racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia
May 12, 2025
I really thought I’d adore this one. I know the feeling of being the so called “Feminist Killjoy” in the room. I know the eyerolls, sighs and sideways looks between people when I open my mouth, and a silent “here we go again” vibe takes over the room.
I am a Feminist Killjoy and I am proud of it.
Whilst I did connect with the overall concept of the book, I found it difficult to read. I think, because Sara Ahmed is an academic, this was written specifically with an academic audience in mind.
For myself, as a mere mortal, I found the structure of the writing to be disengaging, and my eyes tended to glaze over a bit. She’s writing about incredibly important issues, all very close to my heart, that resonate at the core of my being – why am I not feeling the fire in my belly this subject matter deserves?
Whilst there were quite a few choice phrases that stood out to me, I did find my mind start to wander, despite all the validating points she was reinforcing. The writing style just wasn’t for me unfortunately.
The overall message of the book is “Do what you can, when you can, where you can”, and it’s an important message to keep writing about until change is made.
I am a Feminist Killjoy and I am proud of it.
Whilst I did connect with the overall concept of the book, I found it difficult to read. I think, because Sara Ahmed is an academic, this was written specifically with an academic audience in mind.
For myself, as a mere mortal, I found the structure of the writing to be disengaging, and my eyes tended to glaze over a bit. She’s writing about incredibly important issues, all very close to my heart, that resonate at the core of my being – why am I not feeling the fire in my belly this subject matter deserves?
Whilst there were quite a few choice phrases that stood out to me, I did find my mind start to wander, despite all the validating points she was reinforcing. The writing style just wasn’t for me unfortunately.
The overall message of the book is “Do what you can, when you can, where you can”, and it’s an important message to keep writing about until change is made.
January 16, 2024
I picked this up off the new books shelf at the library bc I was like "yeah! great cover! great title!" but I think this is more aimed at an academic audience and semi-specifically a British academic audience? Like despite the way that it's formatted into "killjoy truths" and little Buzzfeed like segments there's like a lot of Judith Butler quotes and discussions of phenomenology that left me dazed and confused. Like I'm a well-educated person but also I intentionally did not choose to pursue a career in academia. For me I would have preferred to just read like a zine or Buzzfeed summary of this. But still some very important ideas and validating phrases in here for sure.
April 21, 2023
Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the ARC!
I definitely recommend this book. A feminist killjoy is a new concept to me, but I now realize I am an internalized feminist killjoy. This book was sad and difficult to read at times because it points out some facts about feminism that are problematic and unfortunately true.
Read this if you’ve ever had someone roll their eyes at you because you’re being “easily offended”, if you have been called “over sensitive”, or if you want to gain insight into white feminism and how BIPOC women have been erased from history around feminism.
I definitely recommend this book. A feminist killjoy is a new concept to me, but I now realize I am an internalized feminist killjoy. This book was sad and difficult to read at times because it points out some facts about feminism that are problematic and unfortunately true.
Read this if you’ve ever had someone roll their eyes at you because you’re being “easily offended”, if you have been called “over sensitive”, or if you want to gain insight into white feminism and how BIPOC women have been erased from history around feminism.
October 5, 2023
The concept of a feminist killjoy is so dear to me, because I've ver much been that for so much of my life, and this book just managed to explain it, and give me the tools and lessons to remain it. What a blessing!!!
Recommended to everyone who wants to understand how to live in a world that can be so aggravating and tough.
Recommended to everyone who wants to understand how to live in a world that can be so aggravating and tough.
August 18, 2025
The author does make some very interesting observations, but the book itself is too unstructured for my liking. What happened to chapters? Sometimes it felt like the author started to make a point only to veer completely off the topic again.
Overall a good and thought provoking read, but her writing is probably more enjoyable in form of shorter articles- at least for me.
Overall a good and thought provoking read, but her writing is probably more enjoyable in form of shorter articles- at least for me.
March 29, 2025
Ooof. Dense and put my brain back in the gym after it had become lazy and weak from consuming so much race-thru fiction. Obviously impeccable though as everything by Sara Ahmed is. Her prose is honestly poetry and every word counts. Throwback to my Masters degree where I was first introduced to her in 2017. Felt like a lovely circular moment to revisit her work. Only shame is that it’s a library book so no underlining booo.
February 24, 2025
a book that has truly changed my life. the sections on happiness alone transformed the way i move through the world. so so many incredible conversations have been started by me blurting out something i’ve learned from sara ahmed, and i cannot wait for MORE. in the age of anti-“wokeness” and rising conservatism in every sector (literary academia included), this is such a valuable treasure. truly truly truly cannot recommend this book more, im sending it to everyone i know.
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November 9, 2025je to na jednu stranu fajn kniha s dobrou message, na druhou stranu jsem asi na to byla v některých pasážích moc pomalá/neinteligentni/nedokazující udržet pozornost??, takže jsem se někdy upřímně nechytala, takže nevím ani kolik dat hvězd hah))
June 30, 2024
Dokładam pół gwiazdki za wymienianie równocześnie Silvi Federici i Angeli Davis. Czytając przed oczami miałam kierunek, który właśnie ukończyłam i wcale to nie były miłe wspomnienia:)
June 19, 2024
I'm a simple being - if Sara Ahmed wrote it, I will devour it, I will talk to everyone I know about it, and I will love it.
I have aspired to be a killjoy since I first came across the term in Ahmed's The Promise of Happiness. But my fear of being "difficult" has often held me back, as have my fear of making mistakes and my white privilege.
In the last few years, the problems of structural and epistemic violence and exclusion within academic institutions have shifted from being problems that I had understood theoretically, read, thought and cared about in the abstract, have become material, in my own lived experience and those of friends and colleagues. Ahmed's intersectional analysis of mechanisms and legacies of racism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia resonates with Maya Angelou's "none of us are free until all of us are free".
So many moments in this book shook me, froze me, spoke to me, challenged me, encouraged me. I will be revisiting the killjoy truths, maxims and commitments that run through and close (/open, depending on how you read it) this book in moments when I need strength, when I doubt if I am being unreasonable, when I am tempted to let things go, when I can't let things go.
When I read Ahmed's writing, I want to shout, I want to write, I want to listen, I want to learn. I want to stop the world from making sense (p.265), I want to take on what I can take in (p.262), I want to "become monstrous" (p.265). I want to get out of bed.
I have aspired to be a killjoy since I first came across the term in Ahmed's The Promise of Happiness. But my fear of being "difficult" has often held me back, as have my fear of making mistakes and my white privilege.
In the last few years, the problems of structural and epistemic violence and exclusion within academic institutions have shifted from being problems that I had understood theoretically, read, thought and cared about in the abstract, have become material, in my own lived experience and those of friends and colleagues. Ahmed's intersectional analysis of mechanisms and legacies of racism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia resonates with Maya Angelou's "none of us are free until all of us are free".
So many moments in this book shook me, froze me, spoke to me, challenged me, encouraged me. I will be revisiting the killjoy truths, maxims and commitments that run through and close (/open, depending on how you read it) this book in moments when I need strength, when I doubt if I am being unreasonable, when I am tempted to let things go, when I can't let things go.
When I read Ahmed's writing, I want to shout, I want to write, I want to listen, I want to learn. I want to stop the world from making sense (p.265), I want to take on what I can take in (p.262), I want to "become monstrous" (p.265). I want to get out of bed.
September 5, 2024
Bardzo przyzwoity przekład i redakcja, brawo Krytyka Polityczna. Chciałabym jedynie wiedzieć, jakie były alternatywy dla psujzabawy i czemu jednak ona, a nie na przykład malkontentka 🙃
Ogólnie polecam, chociaż spora część tego tekstu dla Polki siedzącej w Polsce jest raczej edukacyjna niż rewolucyjna - mój feminizm nie istnieje obok, wśród ani w opozycji do Czarnych feministek, bo ... zgadnijcie. (Z kolei feminizm Ahmed niespecjalnie definiuje się względem chrześcijaństwa, które bardzo się stara, żeby kobiety w PL nie miały praw człowieka. Ot inne lokalne realia).
Ogólnie polecam, chociaż spora część tego tekstu dla Polki siedzącej w Polsce jest raczej edukacyjna niż rewolucyjna - mój feminizm nie istnieje obok, wśród ani w opozycji do Czarnych feministek, bo ... zgadnijcie. (Z kolei feminizm Ahmed niespecjalnie definiuje się względem chrześcijaństwa, które bardzo się stara, żeby kobiety w PL nie miały praw człowieka. Ot inne lokalne realia).
June 27, 2024
this is a really great book that i highly recommend to anyone! i have some minor quarrels with it; it‘s not always quite as precise as i would like it to be, and i would appreciate a bit more structure within the main chapters. but i know both of these are by design, and regardless, there is a lot to learn from ahmed and the many brilliant people she quotes.
February 26, 2024
An activating inspiration! I’ve had several killjoy moments since reading this book and look forward to killing more joy from now on!
June 24, 2025
telling my kids this is the bible
March 29, 2025
this is my bible now
July 14, 2024
Extremely powerful reading. Worth reading multiple times. I love Ahmed's rhythm and lucidity, her bringing in of other thinkers' work, and her ability to take complex mechanisms and reduce them to simple and memorable statements.
Some excerpts:
"If you expose a problem, you pose a problem; if you pose a problem, you become the problem. The management of a problem becomes the management of a person. In other words, one way of dealing with a problem is to stop people from talking about it or to make the people who talk about it go away. "
"To belittle someone can be a command: Be little! To refuse that command is to exceed your position, to become too much. The feminist killjoy, remember, is seen as making something bigger than it is. We are also seen as trying to make ourselves bigger."
"Feminists are judged as threatening (of happiness) because we threaten what is deemed by some to be necessary (for happiness): a belief, a practice, a way of life, a social arrangement."
"We are not intending to cause unhappiness; we are willing to cause unhappiness. A distinction can be obscured by a judgement. So, we don’t talk about sexism or racism because we want to make people unhappy; we are willing to talk about sexism or racism even when it makes people unhappy."
Some excerpts:
"If you expose a problem, you pose a problem; if you pose a problem, you become the problem. The management of a problem becomes the management of a person. In other words, one way of dealing with a problem is to stop people from talking about it or to make the people who talk about it go away. "
"To belittle someone can be a command: Be little! To refuse that command is to exceed your position, to become too much. The feminist killjoy, remember, is seen as making something bigger than it is. We are also seen as trying to make ourselves bigger."
"Feminists are judged as threatening (of happiness) because we threaten what is deemed by some to be necessary (for happiness): a belief, a practice, a way of life, a social arrangement."
"We are not intending to cause unhappiness; we are willing to cause unhappiness. A distinction can be obscured by a judgement. So, we don’t talk about sexism or racism because we want to make people unhappy; we are willing to talk about sexism or racism even when it makes people unhappy."
September 12, 2025
“I’m okay with being an inconvenience”
Such a good read!!! Anyone who identifies as a feminist has probably also gotten kickback for being one. Being labeled as a “buzzkill” or “killjoy” is so frustrating when advocating for basic rights. But as the author said, I’m okay with being an inconvenience. And being vocal about injustice doesn’t mean we live sad, lonely lives like assumed. The author also discusses how happiness isn’t always the goal. I can lead a good life without being happy all of the time. Sometimes I value my life not with how happy I am, but what good I am doing. Sticking up for my beliefs doesn’t always make me “happy” in the typical sense of the word. That’s because there’s still so much stigma around feminism and what it means and how to live by it.
I also always appreciate when authors in this sphere include discussions about intersectional feminism. The content was great and thought-provoking. As a white woman it is so important to look at feminism from every different angle and appreciate its different forms. It helps us grow and learn how to use our power.
Such a good read!!! Anyone who identifies as a feminist has probably also gotten kickback for being one. Being labeled as a “buzzkill” or “killjoy” is so frustrating when advocating for basic rights. But as the author said, I’m okay with being an inconvenience. And being vocal about injustice doesn’t mean we live sad, lonely lives like assumed. The author also discusses how happiness isn’t always the goal. I can lead a good life without being happy all of the time. Sometimes I value my life not with how happy I am, but what good I am doing. Sticking up for my beliefs doesn’t always make me “happy” in the typical sense of the word. That’s because there’s still so much stigma around feminism and what it means and how to live by it.
I also always appreciate when authors in this sphere include discussions about intersectional feminism. The content was great and thought-provoking. As a white woman it is so important to look at feminism from every different angle and appreciate its different forms. It helps us grow and learn how to use our power.
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