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You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl: Observations on Life from the Shallow End of the Pool
From the bestselling, award-winning author of You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start In The Morning , comes another collection of hilarious observations that will resonate with women, mothers, and girlfriends everywhere
In her newest wickedly irreverent humor collection, Celia Rivenbark cracks up while getting her downward facing dog on, pines for a world in which every mom gets to behave like Betty Draper and wonders why everybody's so excited about the Science Fair when there aren't even any rides. In it you'll find essays on such topics
- Menopause Spurs Thoughts of Death and Turkey
- I Dreamed a Dream That My Lashes Were Long
- Twitter I've Got Plenty of Characters, Just No Character
- Movie To-Do Cook Like Julia, Adopt Really Big Kid
- Charlie Bit Your Finger? Good!
- And other thoughts on the virus that is YouTube
- And much more!
And much more! For any woman who longs for the good old days when Jane Fonda in legwarmers was the only one who saw you exercise, YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH FOR A FAT GIRL is comfort food in book form.
In her newest wickedly irreverent humor collection, Celia Rivenbark cracks up while getting her downward facing dog on, pines for a world in which every mom gets to behave like Betty Draper and wonders why everybody's so excited about the Science Fair when there aren't even any rides. In it you'll find essays on such topics
- Menopause Spurs Thoughts of Death and Turkey
- I Dreamed a Dream That My Lashes Were Long
- Twitter I've Got Plenty of Characters, Just No Character
- Movie To-Do Cook Like Julia, Adopt Really Big Kid
- Charlie Bit Your Finger? Good!
- And other thoughts on the virus that is YouTube
- And much more!
And much more! For any woman who longs for the good old days when Jane Fonda in legwarmers was the only one who saw you exercise, YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH FOR A FAT GIRL is comfort food in book form.
256 pages, Paperback
First published August 16, 2011
57 people are currently reading
2589 people want to read
About the author
Celia Rivenbark
11 books461 followersCelia Rivenbark was born and raised in Duplin County, NC, which had the distinction of being the nation's number 1 producer of hogs and turkeys during a brief, magical moment in the early 1980s.
Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats. Her grandparents' house, just across the ditch, had the first indoor plumbing in Teachey, NC and family lore swears that people came from miles around just to watch the toilet flush.
Despite this proud plumbing tradition, Celia grew up without a washer and dryer. On every Sunday afternoon of her childhood, while her mama rested up from preparing a fried chicken and sweet potato casserole lunch, she, her sister and her daddy rode to the laundromat two miles away to do the weekly wash.
It was at this laundromat, where a carefully lettered sign reminded customers that management was "NOT RESONSIBLE" for lost items, that Celia shirked "resonsibility" her own self and snuck away to read the big, fat Sunday News & Observer out of Raleigh, NC. By age 7, she'd decided to be a newspaper reporter.
Late nights, she'd listen to the feed trucks rattle by on the highway and she'd go to sleep wondering what exotic cities those noisy trucks would be in by morning (Richmond? Atlanta? Charlotte?) Their headlights crawling across the walls of her little pink bedroom at the edge of a soybean field were like constellations pointing the way to a bigger life, a better place, a place where there wasn't so much turkey shit everywhere.
After a couple of years of college, Celia went to work for her hometown paper, the Wallace, NC Enterprise. The locals loved to say, as they renewed their "perscriptions," that "you can eat a pot of rice and read the Enterprise and go to bed with nothing on your stomach and nothing on your mind."
Mebbe. But Celia loved the Enterprise. Where else could you cover a dead body being hauled out of the river (alcohol was once again a contributing factor) in the morning and then write up weddings in the afternoon?
After eight years, however, taking front-page photos of the publisher shaking hands with other fez-wearing Shriners and tomatoes shaped like male "ginny-talia" was losing its appeal.
Celia went to work for the Wilmington, NC Morning Star after a savvy features editor was charmed by a lead paragraph in an Enterprise story about the rare birth of a mule: "Her mother was a nag and her father was a jackass."
The Morning Star was no News and Observer but it came out every day and Celia got to write weddings for 55,000 readers instead of 3,500, plus she got a paycheck every two weeks with that nifty New York Times logo on it.
After an unfortunate stint as a copy editor - her ass expanded to a good six ax handles across - Celia started writing a weekly humor column that fulfilled her lifelong dream of being paid to be a smart ass. Along the way, she won a bunch of press awards, including a national health journalism award - hilarious when you consider she's never met a steamed vegetable she could keep down.
Having met and married a cute guy in sports, Celia found herself happily knocked up at age 40 and, after 21 years, she quit newspapering to stay home with her new baby girl.
After a year or so, she started using Sophie's two-hour naps to write a humor column from the mommie front lines for the Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. The column continues to run weekly and is syndicated by the McClatchy-Tribune News Services.
In 2000, Coastal Carolina Press published a collection of Celia's columns. A Southeast Book Sellers Association best-seller, Bless Your Heart, Tramp was nominated for the James Thurber Prize in 2001. David Sedaris won. He wins everything.
http://us.macmillan.com/author/celiar...
Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats. Her grandparents' house, just across the ditch, had the first indoor plumbing in Teachey, NC and family lore swears that people came from miles around just to watch the toilet flush.
Despite this proud plumbing tradition, Celia grew up without a washer and dryer. On every Sunday afternoon of her childhood, while her mama rested up from preparing a fried chicken and sweet potato casserole lunch, she, her sister and her daddy rode to the laundromat two miles away to do the weekly wash.
It was at this laundromat, where a carefully lettered sign reminded customers that management was "NOT RESONSIBLE" for lost items, that Celia shirked "resonsibility" her own self and snuck away to read the big, fat Sunday News & Observer out of Raleigh, NC. By age 7, she'd decided to be a newspaper reporter.
Late nights, she'd listen to the feed trucks rattle by on the highway and she'd go to sleep wondering what exotic cities those noisy trucks would be in by morning (Richmond? Atlanta? Charlotte?) Their headlights crawling across the walls of her little pink bedroom at the edge of a soybean field were like constellations pointing the way to a bigger life, a better place, a place where there wasn't so much turkey shit everywhere.
After a couple of years of college, Celia went to work for her hometown paper, the Wallace, NC Enterprise. The locals loved to say, as they renewed their "perscriptions," that "you can eat a pot of rice and read the Enterprise and go to bed with nothing on your stomach and nothing on your mind."
Mebbe. But Celia loved the Enterprise. Where else could you cover a dead body being hauled out of the river (alcohol was once again a contributing factor) in the morning and then write up weddings in the afternoon?
After eight years, however, taking front-page photos of the publisher shaking hands with other fez-wearing Shriners and tomatoes shaped like male "ginny-talia" was losing its appeal.
Celia went to work for the Wilmington, NC Morning Star after a savvy features editor was charmed by a lead paragraph in an Enterprise story about the rare birth of a mule: "Her mother was a nag and her father was a jackass."
The Morning Star was no News and Observer but it came out every day and Celia got to write weddings for 55,000 readers instead of 3,500, plus she got a paycheck every two weeks with that nifty New York Times logo on it.
After an unfortunate stint as a copy editor - her ass expanded to a good six ax handles across - Celia started writing a weekly humor column that fulfilled her lifelong dream of being paid to be a smart ass. Along the way, she won a bunch of press awards, including a national health journalism award - hilarious when you consider she's never met a steamed vegetable she could keep down.
Having met and married a cute guy in sports, Celia found herself happily knocked up at age 40 and, after 21 years, she quit newspapering to stay home with her new baby girl.
After a year or so, she started using Sophie's two-hour naps to write a humor column from the mommie front lines for the Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. The column continues to run weekly and is syndicated by the McClatchy-Tribune News Services.
In 2000, Coastal Carolina Press published a collection of Celia's columns. A Southeast Book Sellers Association best-seller, Bless Your Heart, Tramp was nominated for the James Thurber Prize in 2001. David Sedaris won. He wins everything.
http://us.macmillan.com/author/celiar...
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September 20, 2011I received this book through the Goodreads first reads. So far, I hate it. And I don't use the word hate lightly. It is awful. I'm not sure if I'm going to finish and I will certainly not recommend this book to anyone.
Update: I did not finish it. I just couldn't bring myself to waste anymore time reading this horrible book. I may recycle this book so no one else is subjected to it.
Update: I did not finish it. I just couldn't bring myself to waste anymore time reading this horrible book. I may recycle this book so no one else is subjected to it.
September 15, 2011
I had a lot of issues with
You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl
(which I received at no cost from the publisher via the Goodreads First Reads program). First, Mrs. Rivenbark doesn't appear to be terribly bright. At one point she goes on about how she became anemic, which she apparently thinks means that she has hardly any blood. Some of her ignorant statements made me cringe but some of them she was clearly just proud of. For example:
Congratulations. I'm not sure you should be bragging about that, though.
She's also a huge fan of racially profiling Muslims at the airport. At one point she defended her stance with some kind of dog/tiger metaphor, which didn't make much sense.
Yes, I would certainly rather pass a dog on the street than a tiger. But what the hell do tigers have to do with Muslims?
She further explains her enlightened stance thusly:
In general, I just didn't find her jokes to be funny. She calls her husband 'Duh-Hubby' and her daughter “The Princess.” She thinks a t-shirt that says: “Ask Me About My Explosive Diarrhea” is super hilarious. There were a ton of pop culture references and a lot of her trying to use slang that just felt kind of gross considering she's, well, not a teenager. I'm a fan of snarky commentary but this went well beyond the point of being snarky and was just mean, plus not funny - which is a really bad combination.
Overall, I was extremely disappointed in this book and would not recommend it to anyone.
“I got news for the New Yorker: I don't even get half those black-and-white cartoons you're so proud of.”
Congratulations. I'm not sure you should be bragging about that, though.
She's also a huge fan of racially profiling Muslims at the airport. At one point she defended her stance with some kind of dog/tiger metaphor, which didn't make much sense.
“Hey I know that the overwhelming majority of Muslims in this world are kind, decent folk who only want to work hard, worship peacefully and raise happy, healthy families. Everybody knows that. But look at it this way: you're walking down the street and you see a tiger on one side and a dog on the other. OK, it can be Mickey Rourke's Chihuahua for the sake of illustration. Which side do you want to walk on? I'll give you a hint: It ain't the tiger's.”
Yes, I would certainly rather pass a dog on the street than a tiger. But what the hell do tigers have to do with Muslims?
She further explains her enlightened stance thusly:
“But what of the trampling of individual rights, you ask? Hey, like Gandhi or somebody said, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. And if those eggs happen to be stamped U.S. CONSTITUTION, well, that was written way before air travel so it's not all that relevant.”
In general, I just didn't find her jokes to be funny. She calls her husband 'Duh-Hubby' and her daughter “The Princess.” She thinks a t-shirt that says: “Ask Me About My Explosive Diarrhea” is super hilarious. There were a ton of pop culture references and a lot of her trying to use slang that just felt kind of gross considering she's, well, not a teenager. I'm a fan of snarky commentary but this went well beyond the point of being snarky and was just mean, plus not funny - which is a really bad combination.
Overall, I was extremely disappointed in this book and would not recommend it to anyone.
January 8, 2017
Each chapter is an essay, for lack of a better word. It's very scatterbrained, though. She starts on one topic and ends up on another. For instance, she starts one chapter on Susan Boyle and ends up talking about not being able to open a Cover Girl Simply Ageless compact. Each story is "cute" on it's own, but together it doesn't mesh well.
She includes crude unnecessary language. She calls a child " a little shit." It's not like she's being mean wanting to call names. It's just replacing the word "child" or "boy" or "girl" or "her" or "him." The book isn't riddled with dirty words, but the ones used are very unnecessary. They're not there to create anything. Sometimes curse words are used to create atmosphere or show personality. The words here don't do any of that. In essence, they're meaningless.
Humor? A little. She does take potshots at Republicans and conservatives. She's southern and religious (well, she attends church), but she's also liberal. She makes no bones about it. If you don't agree with her thinking much of the stuff is not going to be funny or humorous.
The book reads as a collection of blog posts though the author claims she doesn' t have the ability to write a blog and has a hard time coming up with just 140 characters to Tweet.
Rivenbark is a pure pill, not a joy to read. I find myself wanting to cuss her out on almost every other page. I didn't know this was going to be political, but she lets it fly that she hates Republicans and thinks we're bat-shit insane (and see, that curse word has a purpose). We get it. She's in love with Obama and hates W. She thinks all Republicans are loony-toons and anyone who likes them is loony-toons, too. This isn't a political book, satire or non. She's not a political writer. She needs to leave this junk out. She's got plenty to write about without putting in the "I love Obama/hate Republicans" junk. It's not funny. It's stale, old, been done before, and frankly insulting to potential readers.
I love good snark, but this isn't it.
I received the book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
She includes crude unnecessary language. She calls a child " a little shit." It's not like she's being mean wanting to call names. It's just replacing the word "child" or "boy" or "girl" or "her" or "him." The book isn't riddled with dirty words, but the ones used are very unnecessary. They're not there to create anything. Sometimes curse words are used to create atmosphere or show personality. The words here don't do any of that. In essence, they're meaningless.
Humor? A little. She does take potshots at Republicans and conservatives. She's southern and religious (well, she attends church), but she's also liberal. She makes no bones about it. If you don't agree with her thinking much of the stuff is not going to be funny or humorous.
The book reads as a collection of blog posts though the author claims she doesn' t have the ability to write a blog and has a hard time coming up with just 140 characters to Tweet.
Rivenbark is a pure pill, not a joy to read. I find myself wanting to cuss her out on almost every other page. I didn't know this was going to be political, but she lets it fly that she hates Republicans and thinks we're bat-shit insane (and see, that curse word has a purpose). We get it. She's in love with Obama and hates W. She thinks all Republicans are loony-toons and anyone who likes them is loony-toons, too. This isn't a political book, satire or non. She's not a political writer. She needs to leave this junk out. She's got plenty to write about without putting in the "I love Obama/hate Republicans" junk. It's not funny. It's stale, old, been done before, and frankly insulting to potential readers.
I love good snark, but this isn't it.
I received the book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
February 27, 2012
This book was suppose to be a laugh-out-loud book. Well, I'm still waiting ......
I think I giggled once the whole book. :( It was full of complaining, put-downs and a lot of B-notching. Where's the humor in that!
I give it one star for the cover, which is the only thing I liked about this book. Its a down-right shame!.
I think I giggled once the whole book. :( It was full of complaining, put-downs and a lot of B-notching. Where's the humor in that!
I give it one star for the cover, which is the only thing I liked about this book. Its a down-right shame!.
September 7, 2011
When a book makes me feel as if I am talking over margaritas behind closed doors with one of my funniest smartassed girlfriends and I have to pace myself to be sure I don't finish it TOO quickly, it deserves some little gold stars. I first discovered Celia Rivenbark when a friend gave me a copy of "We're Just Like You, Only Prettier..." and said "This reminded me of you. You will LOVE it." Come to think of it, he was probably insulting me (kinda' like that friend who "jokingly" gave me the 'Bitch' socks for Xmas after saying "I hope this doesn't make you mad!" Hmph. Bless her heart, she was a Yankee...) Lucky for me I loved them both, Celia's book and the socks (not the meanies who gave them to me. Pf! the Bitch socks are my lucky socks now).
Celia's books make me feel like our club finally has a representative. Sharp, funny, honest, brutal, beautiful - just like the members of the club - her essays on everyday things will make you laugh at yourself, at the world and of course at Celia. She is irreverant, cusses like a polite sailor and tells it like it damned well is. This fresh batch of observations from her is just another course in a fine grandma meal. This book rocks Bitch socks, Enjoy!
Celia's books make me feel like our club finally has a representative. Sharp, funny, honest, brutal, beautiful - just like the members of the club - her essays on everyday things will make you laugh at yourself, at the world and of course at Celia. She is irreverant, cusses like a polite sailor and tells it like it damned well is. This fresh batch of observations from her is just another course in a fine grandma meal. This book rocks Bitch socks, Enjoy!
January 8, 2017
I've enjoyed previous books by the author, so I thought this would be a fun read. Some chapters were downright funny, but others were painful. I think what really irritates me is that I'm sure the author is an intelligent woman, but she plays the dumb southern belle card. As an educated southern woman, I don't appreciate her reinforcement of a stereotype I struggle against.
July 11, 2012
I read 20 pages and it was 19.5 pages too many. Not funny, poorly written. I didn't expect much and got even less. Don't bother.
December 18, 2015
I got really bored reading this book.
November 14, 2011
This is an ARC I received after the pub date. Nevertheless, here's my review.
Just a few pages in I had three uproarious laughs. I expected more hilarity, and I read and waited, read and waited, read and waited...never happened.
I really was expecting to like this book; I love humor...now I can't imagine why anyone would have published this garbage. (Hey, I'm nothing if not honest.)
Reading this book, I was reminded of a failure of a really bad stand-up comedienne: a lone, unfunny, can't-carry-it-off onstage person whose every "joke" is a bomb. Her attempts at tongue-in-cheek don't work either.
Aside from being boring and much too wordy, "You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl" is like a year-old iPhone: Obsolete. Most of the topics are stale--a few *years* stale. We're all over and past Viagra; "Marley & Me"; the terrorist with explosives in his underwear; the Snuggie; how Burger King is loyal to its mascot...who happened to be dropped from any further campaigns months before this book came out....Everyone's done with her subjects; I have to wonder if this book was copyedited--at least--to make it relevant; edited--at *least*--to make it current...which is rare in this volume.
Rivenbark is coarse, rough, piggish, sarcastic, corny, prejudiced--and ***not*** in a funny kind of way; she's just plain not funny.
To no end, this middle-aged--and I don't mean that in a bad way, but to illustrate this ridiculous, Southern wannabe-comic who morphs from 50s cheese slang to gangsta to Ebonics. It doesn't work. Not in the least. This self-proclaimed "overweight," pure-white-bread woman comes up with such inappropriate gems as "What up with that?", "chirren," the cringe-inducing "I was flying on bidness...", and "True that." Worse, she tells us: "Baby got back." Eek: it's embarrassing; she misses the mark time and time again.
I nearly abandoned this book several times, but, as I mentioned, it's an ARC, and, well, I also just kept waiting for it--SOMEthing--to be funny.
I see she's got great reviews at Amazon...maybe the readers who enjoy her are people just like her, and with the same sense of humor, so can better identify? I mean, can all of her readers be hillbillies? Maybe so.
Really sorry for the slam, Rivenbark, and I'm glad you have readers who love you; but this city-bred girl doesn't. Good luck with your next book. And I mean that.
Just a few pages in I had three uproarious laughs. I expected more hilarity, and I read and waited, read and waited, read and waited...never happened.
I really was expecting to like this book; I love humor...now I can't imagine why anyone would have published this garbage. (Hey, I'm nothing if not honest.)
Reading this book, I was reminded of a failure of a really bad stand-up comedienne: a lone, unfunny, can't-carry-it-off onstage person whose every "joke" is a bomb. Her attempts at tongue-in-cheek don't work either.
Aside from being boring and much too wordy, "You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl" is like a year-old iPhone: Obsolete. Most of the topics are stale--a few *years* stale. We're all over and past Viagra; "Marley & Me"; the terrorist with explosives in his underwear; the Snuggie; how Burger King is loyal to its mascot...who happened to be dropped from any further campaigns months before this book came out....Everyone's done with her subjects; I have to wonder if this book was copyedited--at least--to make it relevant; edited--at *least*--to make it current...which is rare in this volume.
Rivenbark is coarse, rough, piggish, sarcastic, corny, prejudiced--and ***not*** in a funny kind of way; she's just plain not funny.
To no end, this middle-aged--and I don't mean that in a bad way, but to illustrate this ridiculous, Southern wannabe-comic who morphs from 50s cheese slang to gangsta to Ebonics. It doesn't work. Not in the least. This self-proclaimed "overweight," pure-white-bread woman comes up with such inappropriate gems as "What up with that?", "chirren," the cringe-inducing "I was flying on bidness...", and "True that." Worse, she tells us: "Baby got back." Eek: it's embarrassing; she misses the mark time and time again.
I nearly abandoned this book several times, but, as I mentioned, it's an ARC, and, well, I also just kept waiting for it--SOMEthing--to be funny.
I see she's got great reviews at Amazon...maybe the readers who enjoy her are people just like her, and with the same sense of humor, so can better identify? I mean, can all of her readers be hillbillies? Maybe so.
Really sorry for the slam, Rivenbark, and I'm glad you have readers who love you; but this city-bred girl doesn't. Good luck with your next book. And I mean that.
October 18, 2011
I have been reading Celia Rivenbark since I first discovered her in our library. I'm not sure which book caught my eye first - a tie, probably, between "We're Just Like You, Only Prettier" and "Bless Your Heart, Tramp". Both had me laughing myself silly and thinking I had found a new Southern friend (of course, she doesn't know me from Adam, but I still think she'd at least stop and say "Heeeeeeey!" to me if I said it first). The next few books were still cute, but were lacking something, something I just could never put my finger on.
I'm happy to say that Rivenbark is back in rare form with this book. I found myself laughing, snickering, and once or twice, downright chortling along with her humorous recollections of all sorts of things almost menopausal. Yep, CR has hit "the change" in her life - right at the same time that her darling daughter, Princess, is hitting puberty. She has great sympathy for her Duh hubby (as would I), but still, if he doesn't provide them both chocolate on a consistent basis, his life may quickly be forfeit.
I especially loved "Twitter Woes" (as I am completely incapable of holding myself to 140 characters - it's why I have a blog!) and "You Know You Want It: Snuggie's Embrace Will Melt You". No, I do not nor have I ever owned a Snuggie, nor do I want to. But I am one of those Yankees who is constantly amazed by the natives' reaction to cold/winter weather. I have never lived anywhere that closes school due to a threat of snow; in my old home state, it took several inches - nay, feet - before we were allowed the comfort of lounging at home. The words "snow day" were always said with much hope when I was growing up, but except for the infamous Blizzard of '78, we were rarely sitting at home due to the white stuff. We've lived here in North Carolina for almost 10 years now, and we still giggle at people complaining about the "cold". Of course, the longer we're here, the closer we get to being those people; something about living here in the South must thin the blood. Well, that and my duh-hubby's blood pressure meds...
If you need yourself a good laugh, go find a copy of this book. It's just chockful of good stuff, and hey, if that doesn't float your boat, how can you not love the lady on the cover? Doesn't she just look like she's having the time of her life?
I'm happy to say that Rivenbark is back in rare form with this book. I found myself laughing, snickering, and once or twice, downright chortling along with her humorous recollections of all sorts of things almost menopausal. Yep, CR has hit "the change" in her life - right at the same time that her darling daughter, Princess, is hitting puberty. She has great sympathy for her Duh hubby (as would I), but still, if he doesn't provide them both chocolate on a consistent basis, his life may quickly be forfeit.
I especially loved "Twitter Woes" (as I am completely incapable of holding myself to 140 characters - it's why I have a blog!) and "You Know You Want It: Snuggie's Embrace Will Melt You". No, I do not nor have I ever owned a Snuggie, nor do I want to. But I am one of those Yankees who is constantly amazed by the natives' reaction to cold/winter weather. I have never lived anywhere that closes school due to a threat of snow; in my old home state, it took several inches - nay, feet - before we were allowed the comfort of lounging at home. The words "snow day" were always said with much hope when I was growing up, but except for the infamous Blizzard of '78, we were rarely sitting at home due to the white stuff. We've lived here in North Carolina for almost 10 years now, and we still giggle at people complaining about the "cold". Of course, the longer we're here, the closer we get to being those people; something about living here in the South must thin the blood. Well, that and my duh-hubby's blood pressure meds...
If you need yourself a good laugh, go find a copy of this book. It's just chockful of good stuff, and hey, if that doesn't float your boat, how can you not love the lady on the cover? Doesn't she just look like she's having the time of her life?
November 29, 2011
***I won this book from Goodreads as a First Reads giveaway***
YOU DONT SWEAT MUCH for a fat girl- Observations on Life from the SHALLOW END of the POOL by Celia Rivenbark.
This book is absolutely hilarious! Celia Rivenbark (and I always want to say Riverbank) is the South’s answer to Erma Bombeck. In this collection of 28 short stories, Celia’s views on life are filled with “her trademark style of southern snark and sass”.
If you need a laugh and want to read some smart ass humour this is the book for you. I even caught myself laughing out loud at some chapters. For example, her tirade of “movie-going malfeasance” listing an assortment of crimes committed at the theater. “For starters, there were the latecomers. These tardy assholes like to come in and ask you to scoot down so they can take an aisle seat. What they don’t understand is that dues have been paid for that aisle seat. Until you’ve suffered through seventeen minutes of movie trivia (Sandra Bullock was born in Arlington, Virginia!) all I’ve got to say is talk to the imitation butter-soaked hand. Another violation? Using your coats and assorted shit-wear like crime scene tape, to rope off a bunch of seats just so your trifling friends will have somewhere to sit when they stumble in late.”
I rate this book 4 stars.
YOU DONT SWEAT MUCH for a fat girl- Observations on Life from the SHALLOW END of the POOL by Celia Rivenbark.
This book is absolutely hilarious! Celia Rivenbark (and I always want to say Riverbank) is the South’s answer to Erma Bombeck. In this collection of 28 short stories, Celia’s views on life are filled with “her trademark style of southern snark and sass”.
If you need a laugh and want to read some smart ass humour this is the book for you. I even caught myself laughing out loud at some chapters. For example, her tirade of “movie-going malfeasance” listing an assortment of crimes committed at the theater. “For starters, there were the latecomers. These tardy assholes like to come in and ask you to scoot down so they can take an aisle seat. What they don’t understand is that dues have been paid for that aisle seat. Until you’ve suffered through seventeen minutes of movie trivia (Sandra Bullock was born in Arlington, Virginia!) all I’ve got to say is talk to the imitation butter-soaked hand. Another violation? Using your coats and assorted shit-wear like crime scene tape, to rope off a bunch of seats just so your trifling friends will have somewhere to sit when they stumble in late.”
I rate this book 4 stars.
August 5, 2011
This is the fourth of Celia Rivenbark's books that I have read; suffice it to say that I'm a fan.
Rivenbark takes no prisoners with her witty essays on topics ranging from Twitter to elementary school science fairs and the cultures associated with them. She pokes fun at Southern culture, sexual addiction and politics as well. Some of the essays are laugh-out-loud funny, some of them are snarky and some of them are thought-provoking. Many of them are all three. She even takes on her family, with adventures featuring Duh-Hubby and Princess-Daughter. (And yes, she shares family secret recipes. Really.)
If you like columnists in the vein of Dave Barry, Rivenbark's work is for you.
(Review based on uncorrected advance proof.)
Rivenbark takes no prisoners with her witty essays on topics ranging from Twitter to elementary school science fairs and the cultures associated with them. She pokes fun at Southern culture, sexual addiction and politics as well. Some of the essays are laugh-out-loud funny, some of them are snarky and some of them are thought-provoking. Many of them are all three. She even takes on her family, with adventures featuring Duh-Hubby and Princess-Daughter. (And yes, she shares family secret recipes. Really.)
If you like columnists in the vein of Dave Barry, Rivenbark's work is for you.
(Review based on uncorrected advance proof.)
July 20, 2011
I was excited to return home and find this Giveaway prize on my front porch. I was not familiar with Celia's work, but as I began reading, I felt like I had met an dear friend. Her humor was spot on and had me actually laughing out loud more than once (a bit tough to explain to a spouse trying to sleep late at night.) This book now has prime bookshelf real-estate beside my collection of works by other humorous female writers and is a go-to when my day is a bit rough around the edges and I need a smile.
July 18, 2011
I won this in a Goodreads First Reads Giveaway.
It took me a while to warm up to the book. I'd give it only 2-1/2 stars if I could, but rounded up. There was more snark than humor. I'm not sure if the stories were better as I went along, or I became used to the author's writing style, but I liked it better by the end. The stories were heavy in current event references which led me to wonder whether book format was the best publishing choice.
It took me a while to warm up to the book. I'd give it only 2-1/2 stars if I could, but rounded up. There was more snark than humor. I'm not sure if the stories were better as I went along, or I became used to the author's writing style, but I liked it better by the end. The stories were heavy in current event references which led me to wonder whether book format was the best publishing choice.
Read
September 30, 2011This book may not be for everyone. It certainly isn't for the highfalutin. My good friend Donna in beautiful downtown Hammonton, NJ says the book reminds her of me. haha. Could she be referring to my smart*ss side. I should be so funny. The chapter where Midge writes Barbie a letter on Barbie's 50th birthday had me laughing out loud. This is the perfect book for sitting outside your double wide, in your lawn chair, with a cocktail in hand.
August 14, 2011
Some lol moments, lots of eye-rolling moments. I just wanted a quick, funny read and I was drawn to this because the author hails from Wilmington, NC. Funny *and* from the South? Sign me right up!
It was just an okay read for me. Her takes on Twitter, pushy salespeople, and OctoMom I found entertaining. The rest, eh .. a little too snark-tastic for my liking.
It was just an okay read for me. Her takes on Twitter, pushy salespeople, and OctoMom I found entertaining. The rest, eh .. a little too snark-tastic for my liking.
September 9, 2011
I received this book through the Goodreads first reads. I am really glad that I didn't spend my money on this book. While the book subject is ok, and there are some spots of humor, I did not care for this book. The flow was stilted, and it seemed like she kept getting sidetracked. If you are a fan of Rivenbark's, read it. If you aren't, then I would pass on this book.
September 11, 2011
In one word this book is: Random. I know this book is meant to be a funny and at times it was but it was so random and all over the place that it is hard to focus. It is a stand-up comedy show in a book. The book wasn't bad, it would just be nice to have less rambling.
March 11, 2015
A collection of short humorous stories about the author's life and life in general. However, I wish they were funnier and they are definitely out there. Laurie Notoro writes much better women's humor. 3 stars.
September 8, 2011
I love reading books by Southern humorists that are also liberals. It is THE best combination. If you haven't read Celia Rivenbark, START NOW.
February 20, 2013
A couple of laugh-out-loud moments, but after awhile I kind of wished she'd just shut up.
March 14, 2020
I've read other books by Rivenbark and this one just does not measure up to her previous efforts. The essays are for the most part only mildly interesting with a notable exception (that saved this from a one-star rating) for the description of the gal who won the Lifetime Redneck Achievement Award. [I'll save you about 200 pages and give you the Cliff Notes. This involves a Florida (and OMG that should say it all) driver who decides to multitask and shave her hoo-hoo and rear ends a pickup at 45 mph...it gets better as she had her EX-husband assist with the driving. After the accident, he was so gallant and traded seats with her so he could take the blame, but the Florida Highway Patrol saw the bruises and only the passenger airbag deployed and they figured out what happened. To ice this little scenario, Miss Clean Shave did not have a valid drivers license because the day before she was convicted of a DUI and the car was supposed to be seized because she had no insurance or registration and she was already on probation. This is legendary.]
May 5, 2024
Yikes
February 7, 2025
Hilarious. It’s been out for 14 years, so it’s a little dated, but overall it was very funny.
December 31, 2015
From the bestselling, award-winning author of You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start In The Morning, comes another collection of hilarious observations that will resonate with women, mothers, and girlfriends everywhere
In her newest wickedly irreverent humor collection, Celia Rivenbark cracks up while getting her downward facing dog on, pines for a world in which every mom gets to behave like Betty Draper and wonders why everybody's so excited about the Science Fair when there aren't even any rides. In it you'll find essays on such topics as:
- Menopause Spurs Thoughts of Death and Turkey
- I Dreamed a Dream That My Lashes Were Long
- Twitter Woes: I've Got Plenty of Characters, Just No Character
- Movie To-Do List: Cook Like Julia, Adopt Really Big Kid
- Charlie Bit Your Finger? Good!
- And other thoughts on the virus that is YouTube
- And much more!
And much more! For any woman who longs for the good old days when Jane Fonda in legwarmers was the only one who saw you exercise, YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH FOR A FAT GIRL is comfort food in book form.
I laughed out loud many times while reading this book. Celia is hilarious. I think maybe my favorite part of You Don’t Sweat Much was when she was talking about watching the documentary, Food, Inc. I saw that too, and had a reaction very similar to hers. I instantly felt a connection and wished she could be one of my friends, since I haven’t been able to talk my real friends into watching Food, Inc. At long last, I would finally have someone I could talk to about the poor, horrified chicken who knew it’s time had come (If you watch the film you’ll see what I mean). There were plenty of other things that I identified with as well though, and that’s what kept me laughing. Celia says the things you think to yourself, but don’t normally have the courage to say, and she’s incredibly funny while she does it. While a good amount of the humor is targeted to southern women, I really think people from other areas would enjoy it as well, including Yankees with a sense of humor. If you don’t have a sense of humor, this is not the book for you. The other thing I love about Celia, is that she’s a smart southerner, she’s not just another southern humor writer that loves to roll around in stupidity and prejudice. She’s liberated, I guess you could say, and it’s a breath of fresh air for someone like me, who cringes at the constant stream of rednecks that think they’re funny because they’re rednecks. You can be a southerner and be funny without sacrificing your dignity and intelligence. Celia does that perfectly, and I love her for it. As a side note, I had the opportunity to meet Ms. Rivenbark recently, and she was one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. We chatted for a while about her work in progress as well as the local politics and she cracked me up in person, just as much as she did in this book. If you’re looking for a funny book, read You Don’t Sweat Much, even if you’re not from the south, read it and consider it humor as well as a cultural study of southern society. It’s a great book, ya’ll. 4.5 stars
Here are some pictures that were taken when I recently met Ms. Rivenbark, and yes, I made her laugh.
This review was originally posted on Bookworm Book Reviews
August 29, 2011
So it's a well-known fact that I'm a humongous fan of Southern literature and especially Southern humor. I mean, how can you not love the title of this book of essays from Celia Rivenbark? I've read Rivenbark's other books (which have equally amazing titles) and have enjoyed her humor for several years now, so I was excited when Tanya at Wunderkind PR offered me a chance to review this one. And it met and exceeded all of my expectations. I picked it up last night expecting to read an essay or two before falling asleep and ended up staying up half the night and reading the entire thing.
Writing/Entertainment Value
I've said it before, but it's really hard to judge the writing of humorous essays. Either you think the writer is funny or you don't - so I combined the sections for this one. Rivenbark's humor succeeds for me because I find her entertaining. Whereas a work of fiction can be well-written but dull, if you find humor dull, it's usually because you don't share the author's sense of humor and therefore don't appreciate the writing. All of that to say that Rivenbark totally shares my sense of humor. She's sassy and snarky, but with an air of Southern charm that keeps her sarcasm from being too bitter. She's also smart and irreverent and her jokes are relatable and relevant. While this is a good example of Southern humor, it's also relatable on all levels, so I don't think it's going to come across as something that only Southerners will get - Rivenbark examines yoga and tweeting and politics and pop culture that are going to appeal to everyone.
If you've got a smart and somewhat snarky sense of humor, you're going to like this one. There were several points where I actually laughed out loud and then had to go back and explain why I was laughing to Luke because he hates not being in on a joke. This one just came out this week, but it's reasonably priced online, so I highly recommend going ahead and giving it a try.
Writing/Entertainment Value
I've said it before, but it's really hard to judge the writing of humorous essays. Either you think the writer is funny or you don't - so I combined the sections for this one. Rivenbark's humor succeeds for me because I find her entertaining. Whereas a work of fiction can be well-written but dull, if you find humor dull, it's usually because you don't share the author's sense of humor and therefore don't appreciate the writing. All of that to say that Rivenbark totally shares my sense of humor. She's sassy and snarky, but with an air of Southern charm that keeps her sarcasm from being too bitter. She's also smart and irreverent and her jokes are relatable and relevant. While this is a good example of Southern humor, it's also relatable on all levels, so I don't think it's going to come across as something that only Southerners will get - Rivenbark examines yoga and tweeting and politics and pop culture that are going to appeal to everyone.
If you've got a smart and somewhat snarky sense of humor, you're going to like this one. There were several points where I actually laughed out loud and then had to go back and explain why I was laughing to Luke because he hates not being in on a joke. This one just came out this week, but it's reasonably priced online, so I highly recommend going ahead and giving it a try.
September 17, 2011
I've never read anything be this author, but I've definitely noticed her books before. With previous titles as Stop Dressing Your Six-Your-Old Like a Skank and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, how could you not notice them? I think this book is officially considered to be a collection of humorous essay, but she reminds me so much of Jen Lancaster that I'm thinking it could also be considered a memoir. She does mention her family as well which helps the memoir classification, plus I don't currently have a "Humor" tag on my blog so I'm officially tagging this review as s memoir.
While their are a few essays on the author life, such as going to her daughter's science fair, most of what jumped out to me was her reflections on pop, specifically reality tv. It's probably because I'm a little reality tv obsessed, but I loved reading all her comments on the Duggars, Kate Goselin, and Toddles & Tiaras. However even though I read an ARC, and the official publication date was only August 16 parts of it feel a little dated. For example, when discussed Real Housewives of New Jersey she references Dina and Danielle, both of whom are no longer on the show. I understand that's a problem you accept when dealing with pop culture because it changes so quickly. I also see how in a few years it could be seen more as nostalgic, but now it comes off as dated to me.
Overall it was a really amusing book that I'm glad I had the chance to read. I don't think I would have actually gone out and bought this book if I hadn't won it. But now having read her work, I'm a little intrigued and would love to read her other books.
Disclosure: I was provided this book through a Goodreads First Reads giveaway. All opinions expressed are my own.
While their are a few essays on the author life, such as going to her daughter's science fair, most of what jumped out to me was her reflections on pop, specifically reality tv. It's probably because I'm a little reality tv obsessed, but I loved reading all her comments on the Duggars, Kate Goselin, and Toddles & Tiaras. However even though I read an ARC, and the official publication date was only August 16 parts of it feel a little dated. For example, when discussed Real Housewives of New Jersey she references Dina and Danielle, both of whom are no longer on the show. I understand that's a problem you accept when dealing with pop culture because it changes so quickly. I also see how in a few years it could be seen more as nostalgic, but now it comes off as dated to me.
Overall it was a really amusing book that I'm glad I had the chance to read. I don't think I would have actually gone out and bought this book if I hadn't won it. But now having read her work, I'm a little intrigued and would love to read her other books.
Disclosure: I was provided this book through a Goodreads First Reads giveaway. All opinions expressed are my own.
April 1, 2016
"But I do so love the snarky, the sneering, and the snotty."
Yet that's exactly what makes me sad about the meanness that is becoming inherent in pop culture.
Snark does have it's place. The fame whores of Gossleins, Octomom, Kardasssomethings, the not "hot" Hilton, are just some of the ones who've pumped their 15 min of fame (for what talent again?) into 24hr media attention.
As with anything, too much of a good thing is not.
I did enjoy some of her topics and perspective but was also bored with attempts to be snotty or sneer at others.
Been dipping into the waters of humorous memoirists but I much prefer Jen Lancaster. Or the even funnier Jenny Lawson for whom, Jen wrote a blurb on Lawson's debut back cover. Daring the reader not to hurt themselves laughing.
I actually DID HURT myself. I've a pinched nerve in my left arm socket that continues to remind of this when I've laughed since then. Oops.
I don't recall even chuckling over this book. If you loved Perez Hilton before he realized that he WAS the bully that he was decrying and shifted his whole tone & website... Then this is definitely the book for you.
Incidentally, Perez never would admit that he'd a rather vicious bully. Just that it was a style of humor that happened to involve negativity and he'd decided not to do that anymore. Sure Perez... Keep telling yourself that.
I wouldn't call Celia a bully but she, to quote Pauly Shore, "harshes my mellow".
Yet that's exactly what makes me sad about the meanness that is becoming inherent in pop culture.
Snark does have it's place. The fame whores of Gossleins, Octomom, Kardasssomethings, the not "hot" Hilton, are just some of the ones who've pumped their 15 min of fame (for what talent again?) into 24hr media attention.
As with anything, too much of a good thing is not.
I did enjoy some of her topics and perspective but was also bored with attempts to be snotty or sneer at others.
Been dipping into the waters of humorous memoirists but I much prefer Jen Lancaster. Or the even funnier Jenny Lawson for whom, Jen wrote a blurb on Lawson's debut back cover. Daring the reader not to hurt themselves laughing.
I actually DID HURT myself. I've a pinched nerve in my left arm socket that continues to remind of this when I've laughed since then. Oops.
I don't recall even chuckling over this book. If you loved Perez Hilton before he realized that he WAS the bully that he was decrying and shifted his whole tone & website... Then this is definitely the book for you.
Incidentally, Perez never would admit that he'd a rather vicious bully. Just that it was a style of humor that happened to involve negativity and he'd decided not to do that anymore. Sure Perez... Keep telling yourself that.
I wouldn't call Celia a bully but she, to quote Pauly Shore, "harshes my mellow".
September 23, 2011
I won an ARC of this book here on Goodreads. I'm glad I did, because it introduced me to an author I didn't know, as well as a genre I'm not very familiar with. For the most part, I usually read fiction, and when I do pick up a non-fiction book, it's usually a historical bio or a forensics book. So, going in, I wasn't sure what to expect from the format. That said, each essay got a few laughs from me. Celia Rivenbark has a lively, Southern voice, and her book is dotted with quirky cynicism and recipes (couldn't really as for more than that, could I?). I had a couple issues with a couple of her rants, but that's to be expected in comedy (unless, watching stand-up has led me astray), and the essays were a bit scatterbrained, but, overall, the book was enjoyable.
October 26, 2011
I really did not like this book at all when I first began reading it. I hated how the author wrote as if she was speaking and used "words" like "bidness" instead of business, and "duh hubby" instead of the hubby. It was just annoying and felt like she was trying way too hard to be funny. And I didn't think much of the book was funny. However, when I was over halfway through, I really started to enjoy it. Either, the writing style started to grow on me by that point, or the book really just is funny. I especially enjoyed her take on social media and politics. "Michelle Bachman (R-Neptune)." Priceless.
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