Accidental Kindness: A Doctor's Notes on Empathy

by Michael Stein

We will all be patients sooner or later. And when we go to the doctor, when we're hurting, we tend to think in terms of cause and condemnation. We often look for relief not only from physical symptoms but also from our self-blame. We want from our doctors kindness under any of its many empathy, caring, compassion, humanity. We look for safety and forgiveness. But we forget that doctors, too, are often in need of forgiveness—from their patients and from themselves. No doctor enters the medical profession expecting to be unkind or to make mistakes, but because of the complexity of our current medical system and because doctors are human, they often find themselves acting much less kindly than they would like to. Drawing on his work as a primary care physician and a behavioral scientist, Michael Stein artfully examines the often conflicting goals of patients and their doctors. In those differences, Stein recognizes that kindness should not be a patient's forbidden or unrealistic expectation. This book leaves us with new knowledge of and insights into what we might hope for, and what might go wrong, or right, in the most intimate clinical moments.

218 pages, Paperback

Published October 18, 2022

Reviews

[STEPHEN PLETKO!! · Rating 5 out of 5]

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KINDNESS MATTERS

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"In [this book]...I hope to show readers what they might expect and what might go wrong in the intimate patient-doctor interaction. I reexamine the often conflicting goals of patients and medicine. I believe kindness should not become the patient's forbidden or unrealistic expectation. Kindness and the largeness of spirit that goes along with it must not be lost to doctors in the medical setting."

The above quote (in italics) comes from this extremely interesting and honest book by Michael Stein, M.D. He is an internist (a specialist in internal medicine) who is now professor of health policy at Boston University School of Public Health. Stein is also an award-winning author.

In these probing essays, Stein reflects on why empathy and kindness matter in medicine. And he does this with prose that's vivid, candid, and compassionate.

These essays touch on such topics as poverty, racism, and class inequality.

I found the penultimate chapter entitled "Forgiveness" to be especially interesting and insightful.

Finally, the kindness principles found in this book for the medical world can be applied to the wider world.

In conclusion, I found this to be one of the most powerful, honest, and insightful books I've ever read by a doctor. This book is unique and a clear standout!

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(2022; a note to the reader, [ix]; introduction; 10 chapters; main narrative 200 pages; acknowledgments; references)

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