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Gossip Girl #13
Gossip Girl, Psycho Killer
Welcome to New York City's Upper East Side, where my friends and I live, go to school, play, and sleep-sometimes with each other. It's a luxe life, but someone's got to live it . . . until they die.
So begins Gossip Girl, Psycho Killer, a re-imagined and expanded slasher edition of the first groundbreaking Gossip Girl novel, featuring all new grisly scenes and over-the-top gore by #1 New York Times bestselling author Cecily von Ziegesar.
Just as in the original story, Serena returns from boarding school hoping to make amends with her BFF Blair Waldorf--things just haven't been the same since Nate Archibald came between them. But here's where our dark tale takes a turn: Serena decides that the only way for her to make things right with Blair is to eliminate Nate. If that means killing him, well, c'est la vie. Her attempted murder doesn't go unnoticed by Blair, however, who isn't about to let Serena kill whoever she wants-not when there's Cyrus Rose and Chuck Bass and Titi Coates and everyone else who's ever irritated Blair to get rid of first . . . .
American Psycho's Patrick Bateman has met his match in Manhattan's newest, most fabulous trendsetting serial killers, Blair Waldorf and Serena van der Woodsen.
320 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2011
84 people are currently reading
6320 people want to read
About the author
Cecily von Ziegesar
105 books2,967 followersCecily von Ziegesar is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Gossip Girl novels, upon which the hit television show is based.
Cecily von Ziegesar was born in New York City. Her childhood dream was to grow up to be a ballerina; she began lessons at age 3 and auditioned for the School of American Ballet at age 8, but was rejected.
As a teenager, von Ziegesar commuted to Manhattan at 6 a.m. to attend the Nightingale-Bamford School. After graduating from Nightingale, von Ziegesar attended Colby College before spending a year in Budapest working for a local radio station.
Von Ziegesar returned to the United States to study creative writing at the University of Arizona, but dropped out shortly thereafter.
Back in New York, while working at book-packaging firm Alloy Entertainment, von Ziegesar became inspired to create the Gossip Girl series, which follows the lives of privileged teenagers in New York. The series climbed to the top of The New York Times best-sellers list in 2002. A spin-off series, The It Girl, made the list in 2005.
The Constance Billard School for Girls in Gossip Girl is based upon an exaggerated version of von Ziegesar's alma mater, Nightingale. She also culled events from the book from the lives of her extremely wealthy friends, as well as her own life as a perpetual gossip.
She lives in Brooklyn, New York with her family.
Cecily von Ziegesar was born in New York City. Her childhood dream was to grow up to be a ballerina; she began lessons at age 3 and auditioned for the School of American Ballet at age 8, but was rejected.
As a teenager, von Ziegesar commuted to Manhattan at 6 a.m. to attend the Nightingale-Bamford School. After graduating from Nightingale, von Ziegesar attended Colby College before spending a year in Budapest working for a local radio station.
Von Ziegesar returned to the United States to study creative writing at the University of Arizona, but dropped out shortly thereafter.
Back in New York, while working at book-packaging firm Alloy Entertainment, von Ziegesar became inspired to create the Gossip Girl series, which follows the lives of privileged teenagers in New York. The series climbed to the top of The New York Times best-sellers list in 2002. A spin-off series, The It Girl, made the list in 2005.
The Constance Billard School for Girls in Gossip Girl is based upon an exaggerated version of von Ziegesar's alma mater, Nightingale. She also culled events from the book from the lives of her extremely wealthy friends, as well as her own life as a perpetual gossip.
She lives in Brooklyn, New York with her family.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 206 reviews
November 6, 2016
This was a retelling of the first book of the series, only with Serena and Blair on a killing spree, which was really weird. Basically, the whole book just consisted of Serena and Blair stabbing and garrotting people, and Nate being his good old ‘can’t decide which girl I like’ self. The killings were kind of gross, their body disposal seemed unrealistic, and how the heck they got away with it I don’t know. Definitely the worst book of the series.
5 out of 10
5 out of 10
December 20, 2011
This is exactly what the title says. This is a parody of the first book in the Gossip Girl series, but the weird thing is that the parody is written by Cecily von Ziegesar herself. I find this both courageous and extremely weird. It must feel uncomfortable to butcher your little baby book.
Gossip Girl, Psycho Killer is heavier on the killer part than the Gossip Girl part. All the original characters are in it: Blair, Serena, Chuck, Nate, Jenny and Dan. The book loosely follows the original storyline, but adds massive slaughters and gross murders.
I have to say, this book is pretty gruesome. If you're not interested in horror, or if you are squeamish for blood or severed heads, don't read this. This book isn't really for hard-core Gossip Girl fans, it's more for the fans of cheap horror flicks.
I personally actually quite like horror. But even for me this was a little bit too much at times. It took me a very long time to get into the book, and to get into the dark humour. In the end, it was entertaining, and the adaptation from the original novel was very well done. I would recommend Gossip Girl, Psycho Killer but with a fair warning.
Gossip Girl, Psycho Killer is heavier on the killer part than the Gossip Girl part. All the original characters are in it: Blair, Serena, Chuck, Nate, Jenny and Dan. The book loosely follows the original storyline, but adds massive slaughters and gross murders.
I have to say, this book is pretty gruesome. If you're not interested in horror, or if you are squeamish for blood or severed heads, don't read this. This book isn't really for hard-core Gossip Girl fans, it's more for the fans of cheap horror flicks.
I personally actually quite like horror. But even for me this was a little bit too much at times. It took me a very long time to get into the book, and to get into the dark humour. In the end, it was entertaining, and the adaptation from the original novel was very well done. I would recommend Gossip Girl, Psycho Killer but with a fair warning.
October 5, 2012
My friend really wants me to like the Gossip Girl show or books, but the genre isn't my thing. Then she mentioned this book and I was curious enough to give it a try. Murder and mayhem? Excellent!
Well, not so excellent.
I really cannot tell if this book is meant to be humorous or horrifying, because it accomplishes neither. Just because you repeat the word "blood" 50 times in a chapter does not do anything for the prose or a creepy atmosphere.
And the book is so dreadfully written that it is eyeroll worthy. Here is an example of a typical paragraph in this book, which is repeated over and over and over again:
"Serena, wearing (6 word long description of coat, brand-name dropping) over (6 word long description of boots) more brand name dropping... does something nefarious.
[Paragraph break]
Offhand comment about murder."
That's the formula for about 50% of the writing in this book.
Other issues--the poor re-writing of the first Gossip Girl book must have gone along the lines of re-using the original--and inserting fantasies of murder and off-hand comments about murder which we as the reader aren't sure happened in the story.
Other complaints: Serena injects squirrel poison into a character's pot stash. Injects. A liquid. Into a leafy substance. Really? Poison is sprayed in most cases. You won't find an exterminator with a syringe.
The writing is so bad that I wonder if all Ziegesar's books are written like this (minus about 5,000 mentions of blood or ridiculous murder).
If you are not a fan of the series, and you like well-written books with a little substance, then this is not for you. I hate to say it, since this is a borrowed book from a friend that I wanted to try out, but my tastes for novels are pickier than from the likes of Ziegesar or Meyer.
Well, not so excellent.
I really cannot tell if this book is meant to be humorous or horrifying, because it accomplishes neither. Just because you repeat the word "blood" 50 times in a chapter does not do anything for the prose or a creepy atmosphere.
And the book is so dreadfully written that it is eyeroll worthy. Here is an example of a typical paragraph in this book, which is repeated over and over and over again:
"Serena, wearing (6 word long description of coat, brand-name dropping) over (6 word long description of boots) more brand name dropping... does something nefarious.
[Paragraph break]
Offhand comment about murder."
That's the formula for about 50% of the writing in this book.
Other issues--the poor re-writing of the first Gossip Girl book must have gone along the lines of re-using the original--and inserting fantasies of murder and off-hand comments about murder which we as the reader aren't sure happened in the story.
Other complaints: Serena injects squirrel poison into a character's pot stash. Injects. A liquid. Into a leafy substance. Really? Poison is sprayed in most cases. You won't find an exterminator with a syringe.
The writing is so bad that I wonder if all Ziegesar's books are written like this (minus about 5,000 mentions of blood or ridiculous murder).
If you are not a fan of the series, and you like well-written books with a little substance, then this is not for you. I hate to say it, since this is a borrowed book from a friend that I wanted to try out, but my tastes for novels are pickier than from the likes of Ziegesar or Meyer.
July 22, 2019
This was so weird and funny, honestly every book should do a murder version of itself
And Chuck Bass should always have a monogrammed eyepatch
And Chuck Bass should always have a monogrammed eyepatch
June 6, 2019
“Life is fragile and absurd. Murdering someone’s not so hard.”
*3/3.5(??) stars
So.. this book, what an absolute rollercoaster this book was.
I kind of want to start with explaining my rating because I was extremely conflicted.
First off: this book, is incredibly, incredibly stupid. Like I don’t think I’ve ever quite read a book like this before. But wow was it fucking hilarious! No seriously, this book knows it’s dumb. And if it doesn’t, it’s doing a really good fucking job at hiding it!
If not for the few issues I had with it, this book could have gotten an even higher rating from me. Because honestly, when a book is this stupid you just can’t judge it in the same way as other books. I can’t criticize it in the same way because it feels like this book knows about all the things it’s doing wrong and it’s doing it wrong on purpose. So as long as I enjoyed it (and trust me, I did) that means that’s going to be the rating.
Now you may ask, then why does it only have 3/3.5 stars if you enjoyed it and that’s the only thing you’re basing your rating on?
I’m glad you asked, see, this book is a parody of the first gossip girl book. I always wanted to try and read one or more of those books, but over time got less and less interested in them.
Then I found out the same author who wrote gossip girl wrote her own parody book on the series and it’s called ‘psycho killer’, count me the fuck in!
And so I started reading, and as I had already read in other reviews of this book is that the start of this book is exactly like the start of the actual first book with just some words changed here and there.
I soon figured out that as expected the parody aspect of this book was killing. But there were some parts of this book that were really really stupid as well, but I had a feeling this wasn’t part of the parody aspect. And this had mostly to do with the constant descriptions of the characters. And lets be real, anyone who has read it won’t be surprised to hear that this is mostly aimed at how Jenny is described throughout the book.
You will literally not be able to forget what these characters (and mostly the side characters like Jenny and Vanessa) look like because the minute they show up their description is repeated with the most interesting choice of words. Because to repeat the same sentence over and over again would be too noticeable I guess. No but really when Jenny is in the scene you will read AT LEAST 3 times how big her umm, breasts are. Like, I’m not kidding, it is extremely cringy to read it over and over again, there’s just no fun in it. I honestly cannot believe how overly sexualised Jenny is in this book, it’s her whole personality, that and her being Serena’s stalker I guess, that is literally it.
Okay now that that rant is done and over with I want to go back to the fun again, which honestly is basically the killing. Yes, how dark, I know.
Look, I cannot stress enough how absolutely no one, not a single soul, cares at least a little bit about people being killed off. So this all starts with this dude smoking a joint that Serena put rat poison in and as that dude stumbles into a dinner party asking for help at which his eyes explode and he drops dead everyone just stares a few seconds and then continue their conversations as if literally nothing happened. A few sentences later dinner is ready and the hostess is like, welp let’s close these curtains to that part of the room so we don’t have to eat while looking at a dead dude and that’s it, that’s the whole first death. The dude is mentioned like twice later on in the book but it’s mostly because people are now low-key scared to smoke a joint, no no, not high-key, definitely very very low-key.
Honestly, I’m planning for this to be a long ass review because I feel like I can go on about this book forever but at the same time it’s just the same thing over and over again. Serena and Blair both kill off some minor characters and nobody really cares. But for some reason it’s done in such a hilarious way because it’s not like they don’t notice it happening. Gossip girl herself keeps mentioning it and is like welp you better be careful out there! But I’m never careful.. *cue dramatic sounds*
At one point it’s briefly mentioned how quiet the cafeteria at the school is because lots of parents decided to have their kids home-schooled for a while because of all the murdering and I think that was the first time I saw people actually fearing their life in the slightest.
I want to talk a little bit about the characters as well and do keep in mind that this is literally the first gossip girl book I’ve ever read because this may also just be a comment on the series in general, you see I’ve watched 3 and a half seasons of gossip girl the show so to say I had different characters in mind is an understatement.
Serena: What. A. mess. What was she even doing throughout this whole book? She has no real motivation for anything she does and in this parody it makes it slightly funny but in any other scenario I think I would find her insufferable.
Blair: I feel like the killing in this book strangely fit Blair very well and I found I enjoyed her character quite a bit because while I don’t necessarily want to say her character was believable at least she had a motivation behind her actions. Every kill had something to do with on of her main issues and that wasn’t glossed over, enjoyable character!
Nate: Wow, fuck him lol. (Literally his one and only trait is that he is literally stoned all of the fucking time, that’s it, that’s Nate.
Dan: Wow, was I surprised to read about his character in this book. In the book he is a depressed dude who writes the absolute shittiest of haikus (+ funny points like wow they were bad) and literally does not eat, he only drinks coffee, that’s it, black coffee only. (And if he has the unusual craving he’ll eat raw fucking meat, yes, more on that later.)
Other than that, Dan was surprisingly enough not that interesting and I didn’t care for him.
“So far Dan hadn’t shown any interest in actually killing anyone but himself, but Rufus thought his son needed to get out more, engage with kids his own age.”
Jenny: Yes, I have already talked about her but next to her 2 big traits that really go in depth of her personality (her breasts and her being Serena’s stalker) she also eats raw meat, yeah a family that only eats raw fucking meat apparently. I don’t even know. And it’s mentioned just often enough that at the end *I guess spoiler alert?? But do you really care??* when they kill chuck, who is sadly the only ‘main’ character who they kill off in the book. Jenny is like oh let me cut out his tongue so I have a snack at home. And that’s what all the build-up was for.
“Jenny picked up the knife from the floor and ran her finger over the bloody blade. She’d skipped dinner. A little solid food would help soak up the champagne sloshing around in her stomach. Chuck’s tongue lolled, pink and meaty, out of his mouth. She could cut it out, bring it home with her, slice it up, and eat it.”
“When she looked up, little Jenny Humphrey had vanished from the dressing room. In her place was a gorgeous goddess who looked like she could fire real bullets out of her sizable breasts.”
Vanessa: Her only big trait: bald. Yup, she’s bald and that’s her whole fucking personality.
The other characters I don’t feel like talking about because I feel like they’re even less interesting.
Honestly, reading this book that was honestly enjoyable but I couldn’t really imagine the actual books. Just because I was constantly waiting for another kill. Because that’s the thing that kept this book going and kept it interesting. But I honestly can’t really imagine myself reading any of the other books it’s just not for me.
So now I have some marked paragraphs left that I wanted to put into the review but don’t necessarily fit anywhere. Starting with a paragraph that completely sums up the experience of reading this book:
“Blair unfurled the coil of wire and wrapped it tightly around both the Remi brothers’ skinny necks. In her deft, perfectly manicured hands the wire became a garrote, crushing their delicate windpipes and choking them in unison. The perky black dashes of their mustaches withered as they gasped their last gasps. As they died, Blair admired their dedication to wearing only navy blue. She thought she might try it out herself in the spring, variations on a sailor theme from A.P.C., Agnès B, J.Crew, and Armani, with a pair of cute white Christian Louboutin ankle booties to match. The Remis fell in a lifeless heap at her feet. Their necks still wrapped in wire,”
And here’s another killing scene where Blair tries to kill Serena and has the wrong person and is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
“The girl’s head separated from her neck with a satisfying slicing sound. Her body fell, while her head soared through the air, landing with a splash in a puddle at the base of the stone obelisk. Blair stared at it as she caught her breath. The hair was long and blond, but the staring, terrified eyes were a muddy brown, not navy blue. The head wasn’t Serena’s, but at least she’d had a good workout. Beheading works all the muscle groups.”
Now a paragraph that I genuinely thought was really funny, when Serena and Blair were fighting each other in a museum and well.. fuck tourists am I right?
“The weapons were so heavy the girls had to use both hands to wield them. The security guard had disappeared, either afraid for his life or calling for backup, or both. The alarm was loud. It rang in the girls’ ears. But that didn’t stop the tourists. Nothing ever does. “Do you girls know how to get to the Arts of Africa, Oceana, and the Americas?” a ditzy bald man wearing half-glasses asked them. “Shut up!” Blair shouted at him, and sliced him in half.”
I had some more marked texts but decided to put just these in. I think my review has gone on long enough honestly. I’ve filled more than 3 fucking pages with this review. Why is the longest review I’ve written in a long long time for this book!!
Thank you for reading, if you even made it this far. You now don’t need to read the book anymore you’ve read all the ‘highs’ and ‘lows’.
(My word count for this review is seriously 1910 words, what am I doing?!)
“But I’m Chuck Bass,” he gasped, dying.”
*3/3.5(??) stars
So.. this book, what an absolute rollercoaster this book was.
I kind of want to start with explaining my rating because I was extremely conflicted.
First off: this book, is incredibly, incredibly stupid. Like I don’t think I’ve ever quite read a book like this before. But wow was it fucking hilarious! No seriously, this book knows it’s dumb. And if it doesn’t, it’s doing a really good fucking job at hiding it!
If not for the few issues I had with it, this book could have gotten an even higher rating from me. Because honestly, when a book is this stupid you just can’t judge it in the same way as other books. I can’t criticize it in the same way because it feels like this book knows about all the things it’s doing wrong and it’s doing it wrong on purpose. So as long as I enjoyed it (and trust me, I did) that means that’s going to be the rating.
Now you may ask, then why does it only have 3/3.5 stars if you enjoyed it and that’s the only thing you’re basing your rating on?
I’m glad you asked, see, this book is a parody of the first gossip girl book. I always wanted to try and read one or more of those books, but over time got less and less interested in them.
Then I found out the same author who wrote gossip girl wrote her own parody book on the series and it’s called ‘psycho killer’, count me the fuck in!
And so I started reading, and as I had already read in other reviews of this book is that the start of this book is exactly like the start of the actual first book with just some words changed here and there.
I soon figured out that as expected the parody aspect of this book was killing. But there were some parts of this book that were really really stupid as well, but I had a feeling this wasn’t part of the parody aspect. And this had mostly to do with the constant descriptions of the characters. And lets be real, anyone who has read it won’t be surprised to hear that this is mostly aimed at how Jenny is described throughout the book.
You will literally not be able to forget what these characters (and mostly the side characters like Jenny and Vanessa) look like because the minute they show up their description is repeated with the most interesting choice of words. Because to repeat the same sentence over and over again would be too noticeable I guess. No but really when Jenny is in the scene you will read AT LEAST 3 times how big her umm, breasts are. Like, I’m not kidding, it is extremely cringy to read it over and over again, there’s just no fun in it. I honestly cannot believe how overly sexualised Jenny is in this book, it’s her whole personality, that and her being Serena’s stalker I guess, that is literally it.
Okay now that that rant is done and over with I want to go back to the fun again, which honestly is basically the killing. Yes, how dark, I know.
Look, I cannot stress enough how absolutely no one, not a single soul, cares at least a little bit about people being killed off. So this all starts with this dude smoking a joint that Serena put rat poison in and as that dude stumbles into a dinner party asking for help at which his eyes explode and he drops dead everyone just stares a few seconds and then continue their conversations as if literally nothing happened. A few sentences later dinner is ready and the hostess is like, welp let’s close these curtains to that part of the room so we don’t have to eat while looking at a dead dude and that’s it, that’s the whole first death. The dude is mentioned like twice later on in the book but it’s mostly because people are now low-key scared to smoke a joint, no no, not high-key, definitely very very low-key.
Honestly, I’m planning for this to be a long ass review because I feel like I can go on about this book forever but at the same time it’s just the same thing over and over again. Serena and Blair both kill off some minor characters and nobody really cares. But for some reason it’s done in such a hilarious way because it’s not like they don’t notice it happening. Gossip girl herself keeps mentioning it and is like welp you better be careful out there! But I’m never careful.. *cue dramatic sounds*
At one point it’s briefly mentioned how quiet the cafeteria at the school is because lots of parents decided to have their kids home-schooled for a while because of all the murdering and I think that was the first time I saw people actually fearing their life in the slightest.
I want to talk a little bit about the characters as well and do keep in mind that this is literally the first gossip girl book I’ve ever read because this may also just be a comment on the series in general, you see I’ve watched 3 and a half seasons of gossip girl the show so to say I had different characters in mind is an understatement.
Serena: What. A. mess. What was she even doing throughout this whole book? She has no real motivation for anything she does and in this parody it makes it slightly funny but in any other scenario I think I would find her insufferable.
Blair: I feel like the killing in this book strangely fit Blair very well and I found I enjoyed her character quite a bit because while I don’t necessarily want to say her character was believable at least she had a motivation behind her actions. Every kill had something to do with on of her main issues and that wasn’t glossed over, enjoyable character!
Nate: Wow, fuck him lol. (Literally his one and only trait is that he is literally stoned all of the fucking time, that’s it, that’s Nate.
Dan: Wow, was I surprised to read about his character in this book. In the book he is a depressed dude who writes the absolute shittiest of haikus (+ funny points like wow they were bad) and literally does not eat, he only drinks coffee, that’s it, black coffee only. (And if he has the unusual craving he’ll eat raw fucking meat, yes, more on that later.)
Other than that, Dan was surprisingly enough not that interesting and I didn’t care for him.
“So far Dan hadn’t shown any interest in actually killing anyone but himself, but Rufus thought his son needed to get out more, engage with kids his own age.”
Jenny: Yes, I have already talked about her but next to her 2 big traits that really go in depth of her personality (her breasts and her being Serena’s stalker) she also eats raw meat, yeah a family that only eats raw fucking meat apparently. I don’t even know. And it’s mentioned just often enough that at the end *I guess spoiler alert?? But do you really care??* when they kill chuck, who is sadly the only ‘main’ character who they kill off in the book. Jenny is like oh let me cut out his tongue so I have a snack at home. And that’s what all the build-up was for.
“Jenny picked up the knife from the floor and ran her finger over the bloody blade. She’d skipped dinner. A little solid food would help soak up the champagne sloshing around in her stomach. Chuck’s tongue lolled, pink and meaty, out of his mouth. She could cut it out, bring it home with her, slice it up, and eat it.”
“When she looked up, little Jenny Humphrey had vanished from the dressing room. In her place was a gorgeous goddess who looked like she could fire real bullets out of her sizable breasts.”
Vanessa: Her only big trait: bald. Yup, she’s bald and that’s her whole fucking personality.
The other characters I don’t feel like talking about because I feel like they’re even less interesting.
Honestly, reading this book that was honestly enjoyable but I couldn’t really imagine the actual books. Just because I was constantly waiting for another kill. Because that’s the thing that kept this book going and kept it interesting. But I honestly can’t really imagine myself reading any of the other books it’s just not for me.
So now I have some marked paragraphs left that I wanted to put into the review but don’t necessarily fit anywhere. Starting with a paragraph that completely sums up the experience of reading this book:
“Blair unfurled the coil of wire and wrapped it tightly around both the Remi brothers’ skinny necks. In her deft, perfectly manicured hands the wire became a garrote, crushing their delicate windpipes and choking them in unison. The perky black dashes of their mustaches withered as they gasped their last gasps. As they died, Blair admired their dedication to wearing only navy blue. She thought she might try it out herself in the spring, variations on a sailor theme from A.P.C., Agnès B, J.Crew, and Armani, with a pair of cute white Christian Louboutin ankle booties to match. The Remis fell in a lifeless heap at her feet. Their necks still wrapped in wire,”
And here’s another killing scene where Blair tries to kill Serena and has the wrong person and is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
“The girl’s head separated from her neck with a satisfying slicing sound. Her body fell, while her head soared through the air, landing with a splash in a puddle at the base of the stone obelisk. Blair stared at it as she caught her breath. The hair was long and blond, but the staring, terrified eyes were a muddy brown, not navy blue. The head wasn’t Serena’s, but at least she’d had a good workout. Beheading works all the muscle groups.”
Now a paragraph that I genuinely thought was really funny, when Serena and Blair were fighting each other in a museum and well.. fuck tourists am I right?
“The weapons were so heavy the girls had to use both hands to wield them. The security guard had disappeared, either afraid for his life or calling for backup, or both. The alarm was loud. It rang in the girls’ ears. But that didn’t stop the tourists. Nothing ever does. “Do you girls know how to get to the Arts of Africa, Oceana, and the Americas?” a ditzy bald man wearing half-glasses asked them. “Shut up!” Blair shouted at him, and sliced him in half.”
I had some more marked texts but decided to put just these in. I think my review has gone on long enough honestly. I’ve filled more than 3 fucking pages with this review. Why is the longest review I’ve written in a long long time for this book!!
Thank you for reading, if you even made it this far. You now don’t need to read the book anymore you’ve read all the ‘highs’ and ‘lows’.
(My word count for this review is seriously 1910 words, what am I doing?!)
“But I’m Chuck Bass,” he gasped, dying.”
April 14, 2015
One chapter was enough. No way in hell am I ever going to finish this book. It's been a very long time since I read the original Gossip Girl book, and here I am basically re reading it word for word. Are you serious?? The exact same scenes. The exact same dialogue. Skimming the pages, I slowed down when it came to a murder. Squirrel poisoning resulting in exploding eyeballs at a fancy dinner party, and no one even bothers to care? Just keep on eating? Pathetic. This book is going in the bin. I'm not even joking. I can't let it get into the hands of another living soul and have them be tortured by this.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 22, 2011
The original “Gossip Girl” has always been one of my guilty pleasures. Don’t tell anyone. The TV show, too. So when I heard that they were coming out with this bastardized/parody version with serial killers, I squealed with joy. And it was worth the wait. This is a fun little romp through the original decorated with killings right and left, mentions of “Dexter”, and a new look at the term “frenemies”. I enjoyed myself a little too much, though it could have been better than it was.
I guess my biggest complaint about this is that it stayed a little too close to the original text – as if certain words were just copypasta’d into the places of their original counterparts instead of a more thorough edit and rewrite. Which disappointed me. I mean, I know that this is supposed to be a parody, but look at Quirk with their mashups of modern classic literature – it’s close to the original, but not word-for-word the same in most areas. Quirk knows how to do mashups/parodies right, and I kind of wish they had gotten the chance to do this title instead of how it turned out under Hachette. (No offense, Hachette, you’re awesome but you just haven’t done that many parodies and Quirk is clearly a master here.)
I’m all for remakes being as close to the original as possible (I can be an annoying purist that way) but this felt like a bit of a lazy cut and paste job. Keyword being felt. I’m sure a lot of work went into this, but it didn’t really show. And I hate when that happens. I guess my final verdict is this: loved it, but it could have been SO much more. And when things don’t live up to their potential (even for florid horridness like this), it just isn’t for me.
Still, it’s worth the read. Go out there and read it once you’ve read the original and you be the judge. Then we can talk about it.
(posted to goodreads, shelfari, and witchoftheatregoing.wordpress.com)
I guess my biggest complaint about this is that it stayed a little too close to the original text – as if certain words were just copypasta’d into the places of their original counterparts instead of a more thorough edit and rewrite. Which disappointed me. I mean, I know that this is supposed to be a parody, but look at Quirk with their mashups of modern classic literature – it’s close to the original, but not word-for-word the same in most areas. Quirk knows how to do mashups/parodies right, and I kind of wish they had gotten the chance to do this title instead of how it turned out under Hachette. (No offense, Hachette, you’re awesome but you just haven’t done that many parodies and Quirk is clearly a master here.)
I’m all for remakes being as close to the original as possible (I can be an annoying purist that way) but this felt like a bit of a lazy cut and paste job. Keyword being felt. I’m sure a lot of work went into this, but it didn’t really show. And I hate when that happens. I guess my final verdict is this: loved it, but it could have been SO much more. And when things don’t live up to their potential (even for florid horridness like this), it just isn’t for me.
Still, it’s worth the read. Go out there and read it once you’ve read the original and you be the judge. Then we can talk about it.
(posted to goodreads, shelfari, and witchoftheatregoing.wordpress.com)
May 5, 2012
What... the f? This is going to be a real book?
UPDATE:
I tried, I really did. I was a huge fan of the Gossip Girl books when they first came out, (the later ones were terrible) and I knew that this retelling of the first book was going to be awful. But I expected it to be so bad it was good, and this was just bad. Sliding in all of these murderous thoughts and feelings was just ridiculous and made no sense. It was supposed to be funny and creative, and instead it just showcased how dumb the first book really was.
I couldn't even get halfway through this abysmal book.
UPDATE:
I tried, I really did. I was a huge fan of the Gossip Girl books when they first came out, (the later ones were terrible) and I knew that this retelling of the first book was going to be awful. But I expected it to be so bad it was good, and this was just bad. Sliding in all of these murderous thoughts and feelings was just ridiculous and made no sense. It was supposed to be funny and creative, and instead it just showcased how dumb the first book really was.
I couldn't even get halfway through this abysmal book.
May 6, 2020
Oh man. This was SO bad. And I mean, SO BAD. I ended up skimming most of it.
Unlike books like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter or Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, where the author made it completely their own and placed you in a new world, this was a clone of the first book with gory adjectives and descriptions thrown it. It was terribly done, pointless, and really shouldn't have seen the light of day. I've enjoyed the rest of the series, but with this one, I'm just left asking "WHY?!"
Unlike books like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter or Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, where the author made it completely their own and placed you in a new world, this was a clone of the first book with gory adjectives and descriptions thrown it. It was terribly done, pointless, and really shouldn't have seen the light of day. I've enjoyed the rest of the series, but with this one, I'm just left asking "WHY?!"
April 23, 2012
This book just...sucked. I have read (& adored) all the GG books and I knew that this one was a parody of sorts and what it was supposed to be about, but it was awful.
I think what annoyed me the most was that Serena and then Blair are running around killing everyone in public and NO ONE, not even the victim's parents, cared. Even when a guy's eyeballs exploded in front of his parents, at a dinner party, NO ONE, not even the parents, cared.
Plus Blair stuck Elise down the garbage disposal... At a party... It's so stupid.
I think what annoyed me the most was that Serena and then Blair are running around killing everyone in public and NO ONE, not even the victim's parents, cared. Even when a guy's eyeballs exploded in front of his parents, at a dinner party, NO ONE, not even the parents, cared.
Plus Blair stuck Elise down the garbage disposal... At a party... It's so stupid.
February 5, 2017
Complete and utter drivel. One of the worst things I've ever read, it's completely without humour, thought or any decently written prose. The characters literally get away with murder with no consequence - in better hands this could've been a thoughtful look at how the privileged skirt the law, but instead we're treated to lavish descriptions of fashionable clothing.
I hate the completionist in me for forcing myself through this. Thank God it's over.
I hate the completionist in me for forcing myself through this. Thank God it's over.
November 7, 2016
I didn't love any of the books in this series, but this one was 100% the worst one.
It was just plain weird, and it didn't hold my interest well at all because of it. Don't know what the author was thinking when writing this to be honest!
Overall, Worst one for me.
It was just plain weird, and it didn't hold my interest well at all because of it. Don't know what the author was thinking when writing this to be honest!
Overall, Worst one for me.
January 3, 2022
I'm not going to read this shit, this is the most disgusting series I have ever read
January 20, 2023
I'm fucking dying. I must have lost IQ points reading this. I want so badly to remove my brain from my skull and scrub it with bleach so I can forget that I did this to myself.
October 24, 2017
Well, there isn’t that much about this that is worth saying. This book was better than I anticipated, but more in an entertaining way rather than it actually being a good book. This is basically the first book in the Gossip Girl series but rather than being obsessed with fashion, all of our upper east side characters are obsessed with death and plotting how to kill one another.
It’s a little too cheesy to actually be worth calling this a slasher. I honestly didn’t consider this to be all that gory but I guess other readers might. It’s graphic but not detailed, while readers do see explanations of how someone dies it isn’t really that vivid. But I suppose that all comes down to perspective.
Honestly I think I liked this better than the original story. Rather than characters being super fake to one another, they fight things out and while it was incredibly dramatic and over the top, it was better than watching them go back and forth from loving and hating each other.
It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t awful. I’d probably read it again if I’m ever in the mood for something cheesy.
(also this low key has me wanting to reread the GG series lmao yikes)
It’s a little too cheesy to actually be worth calling this a slasher. I honestly didn’t consider this to be all that gory but I guess other readers might. It’s graphic but not detailed, while readers do see explanations of how someone dies it isn’t really that vivid. But I suppose that all comes down to perspective.
Honestly I think I liked this better than the original story. Rather than characters being super fake to one another, they fight things out and while it was incredibly dramatic and over the top, it was better than watching them go back and forth from loving and hating each other.
It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t awful. I’d probably read it again if I’m ever in the mood for something cheesy.
(also this low key has me wanting to reread the GG series lmao yikes)
Read
June 12, 2022What a hoot. I loved the original series and this was ridiculous and hilarious. Pretty impressive when an author parodies their own work and pokes a bit of fun at the plot and characters.
October 21, 2011
Way back in the day, when I was young(er) I read Gossip Girl. All the time. Constantly. I felt like I was always waiting on the new one to come out and I just had to know what was going to happen. And thirteen books, two spin off series, and a TV show later I thought it was over.
Reasons to Read:
1. Longtime fans:
Honestly, this book probably won't mean much to you if you aren't already a fan of Gossip Girl (either the books or the TV show). It isn't necessary to have read the books before reading PK, but it will give you a fuller idea of what the changes are between the two books.
2. A twisted sense of humour:
This isn't for the faint-hearted. And honestly, I appreciated it because in retrospect after reading that entire series, this book makes a whole lot more sense than the rest do. Serena and Blair are psychotic. Yes, finally. We know the truth.
But fair warning: you won't like this if you don't like extremely gory imagery. Cecily von Ziegesar does NOT shy away from describing the graphic and brutal murders of many of the characters. It's violent, and it's gratiutous. The whole book is like that. And it made me sqirm, and I felt kind of squeemish at times. I mean, eyeballs exploding and eyelids being ripped off with an eyelash curler? Yikes. And that's only TWO of the scenes.
Gossip Girl has always poked fun at itself, but Cecily takes it to a new level with Psycho Killer. I haven't read any of the Quirk books (although I'd like to) and it definitely has a similar vibe to those. This is almost like the special extended edition of Gossip Girl with bonus material where most of the characters are killed off. But SOMEHOW (somehow) it kind of works. I was so sick of Serena and Blair and Nate bouncing back and forth around to each other in the other series, so there was something appealing about this. Because they are not normal teenage girls.
If you're looking for a quirky, disturbing Halloween read, and enjoy slasher films then this might be the one for you. But be warned- it's messy. Very messy.
Review copy received from Hachette Book Group Canada in exchange for my honest review; no other compensation was received.
Reasons to Read:
1. Longtime fans:
Honestly, this book probably won't mean much to you if you aren't already a fan of Gossip Girl (either the books or the TV show). It isn't necessary to have read the books before reading PK, but it will give you a fuller idea of what the changes are between the two books.
2. A twisted sense of humour:
This isn't for the faint-hearted. And honestly, I appreciated it because in retrospect after reading that entire series, this book makes a whole lot more sense than the rest do. Serena and Blair are psychotic. Yes, finally. We know the truth.
But fair warning: you won't like this if you don't like extremely gory imagery. Cecily von Ziegesar does NOT shy away from describing the graphic and brutal murders of many of the characters. It's violent, and it's gratiutous. The whole book is like that. And it made me sqirm, and I felt kind of squeemish at times. I mean, eyeballs exploding and eyelids being ripped off with an eyelash curler? Yikes. And that's only TWO of the scenes.
Gossip Girl has always poked fun at itself, but Cecily takes it to a new level with Psycho Killer. I haven't read any of the Quirk books (although I'd like to) and it definitely has a similar vibe to those. This is almost like the special extended edition of Gossip Girl with bonus material where most of the characters are killed off. But SOMEHOW (somehow) it kind of works. I was so sick of Serena and Blair and Nate bouncing back and forth around to each other in the other series, so there was something appealing about this. Because they are not normal teenage girls.
If you're looking for a quirky, disturbing Halloween read, and enjoy slasher films then this might be the one for you. But be warned- it's messy. Very messy.
Review copy received from Hachette Book Group Canada in exchange for my honest review; no other compensation was received.
November 24, 2018
I am a very different reader than I was when I devoured the GG series when it first came out. Although I was an adult already, the series reminded me of reading Jackie Collins as an actual teen because YA was a bit of an immature wasteland back in the early 90s. Gossip Girl was fun and trashy and, well, gossipy.
When I heard about this book, I was super excited. I love horror, and what could be better than combining psychopaths with rich, spoiled sociopaths? But for some reason this book was harder to track down than I thought it would be, and once I did it joined by TBR pile. I finally dug it out in October and it became my bedside read (just a book I can easily reach and read for a few minutes most nights).
Usually when a book really grabs me, it moves off the nightstand and goes out in the real world with me in order to more properly binge-read. This book, while entertaining, never made it off the nightstand.
It's been so long since I read a GG book, and definitely the tv series changed some characters for the better and the worse (Chuck for the better, Jenny for the worst, and don't even get me started on Eric), it was a bit hard to get back into the book character's heads. Plus, again, why are Serena and Blair so obsessed with Nate? He's still a weenie.
I did love all the murder though. XOXO
When I heard about this book, I was super excited. I love horror, and what could be better than combining psychopaths with rich, spoiled sociopaths? But for some reason this book was harder to track down than I thought it would be, and once I did it joined by TBR pile. I finally dug it out in October and it became my bedside read (just a book I can easily reach and read for a few minutes most nights).
Usually when a book really grabs me, it moves off the nightstand and goes out in the real world with me in order to more properly binge-read. This book, while entertaining, never made it off the nightstand.
It's been so long since I read a GG book, and definitely the tv series changed some characters for the better and the worse (Chuck for the better, Jenny for the worst, and don't even get me started on Eric), it was a bit hard to get back into the book character's heads. Plus, again, why are Serena and Blair so obsessed with Nate? He's still a weenie.
I did love all the murder though. XOXO
December 13, 2011
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
March 15, 2025
Book Review: Gossip Girl, Psycho Killer
Okay so this book was insane. Like imagine all the drama of Gossip Girl but with actual murder. It was kind of ridiculous but in a fun way and I loved how it kept so many things from the original book just with you know, a body count. The whole thing felt like the characters were still the same spoiled, scandalous Upper East Siders but now they were straight up psycho.
The way Serena and Blair just casually kill people and keep going to parties like nothing happened? Iconic. Blair was already unhinged in the original series so making her a literal killer just made sense. And Nate being clueless as always? Perfect. The whole book felt like Gossip Girl had a sleepover with American Psycho and honestly I was kind of living for it.
That being said, it wasn’t amazing. Some of the deaths were so over the top that they were more funny than shocking and the writing could be a little too much at times. Like yes I get it, Jenny has big boobs, did we need to keep hearing about it?? That part was weird and made me roll my eyes. Also, sometimes the gore felt random instead of actually creepy which made it feel more like a parody than a horror twist.
Overall it was a fun and crazy read and I liked how it stayed true to the original series while making it way darker. If you love Gossip Girl and don’t mind a little (okay a lot of) blood then it’s worth checking out. Just be prepared for some weird moments. 3/5 stars!
Okay so this book was insane. Like imagine all the drama of Gossip Girl but with actual murder. It was kind of ridiculous but in a fun way and I loved how it kept so many things from the original book just with you know, a body count. The whole thing felt like the characters were still the same spoiled, scandalous Upper East Siders but now they were straight up psycho.
The way Serena and Blair just casually kill people and keep going to parties like nothing happened? Iconic. Blair was already unhinged in the original series so making her a literal killer just made sense. And Nate being clueless as always? Perfect. The whole book felt like Gossip Girl had a sleepover with American Psycho and honestly I was kind of living for it.
That being said, it wasn’t amazing. Some of the deaths were so over the top that they were more funny than shocking and the writing could be a little too much at times. Like yes I get it, Jenny has big boobs, did we need to keep hearing about it?? That part was weird and made me roll my eyes. Also, sometimes the gore felt random instead of actually creepy which made it feel more like a parody than a horror twist.
Overall it was a fun and crazy read and I liked how it stayed true to the original series while making it way darker. If you love Gossip Girl and don’t mind a little (okay a lot of) blood then it’s worth checking out. Just be prepared for some weird moments. 3/5 stars!
October 24, 2021
I thought adding murder to gossip girl would make it better. I was wrong. It took me almost 3 weeks to finish something that should've taken a few days. But also, still not the worst gossip girl book I have read
November 4, 2021
I can't believe A) that this book exists and B) I read it
Yikes.
Yikes.
August 24, 2022
i cannot believe i got my hands on this book. a wild ride from start to finish.
Read
May 26, 2019I selected this book because I enjoyed watching the TV series, and the title "psycho killer" pulled me in. A drama series with a murder twist.
This book is basically a complete remake on the gossip girl series but with a killer twist. It starts in Blair's POV and already she's having gory murderous thoughts about killing people just for wearing a non designer skirt or saying something to piss her off. Serena, her old best friend is back from boarding school, and rumors are beginning to swirl that Serena spent the past year killing men she met. These rumors do turn out to be true. It is oblivious to Nate, Blair's now boyfriend, who is in love with Serena. Blair and Serena hate each other the minute Serena arrives at Blair's house party. Once Blair finds out Serena and Nate lost their virginity to each other, they both start fighting and try to kill each other. They fail, and throughout the book they both go on gory killing sprees- Murdering anyone in their way.
I think the way the author added the twist of murder to a teenage drama worked well together. What didn't work was the consistent drag on unimportant character story lines. Overall, this was 100% a good read.
This book is basically a complete remake on the gossip girl series but with a killer twist. It starts in Blair's POV and already she's having gory murderous thoughts about killing people just for wearing a non designer skirt or saying something to piss her off. Serena, her old best friend is back from boarding school, and rumors are beginning to swirl that Serena spent the past year killing men she met. These rumors do turn out to be true. It is oblivious to Nate, Blair's now boyfriend, who is in love with Serena. Blair and Serena hate each other the minute Serena arrives at Blair's house party. Once Blair finds out Serena and Nate lost their virginity to each other, they both start fighting and try to kill each other. They fail, and throughout the book they both go on gory killing sprees- Murdering anyone in their way.
I think the way the author added the twist of murder to a teenage drama worked well together. What didn't work was the consistent drag on unimportant character story lines. Overall, this was 100% a good read.
June 25, 2022
What was this even about!? I mean, I see how they tried to do like some American Psycho meets Gossip Girl kind of thing, but it's so... boring? Maybe I just grew up or something but I'm TIRED of reading the same story which is basically the Pilot over and over again. This had sooo much potential and they just wasted it. Also, I think this doesn't even have a sequel? What was the point then... AND BIG TRIGGER WARNING for when Dan set Jenny's cat on fire? Like what the fuck!? Ah at some points like these you could see how hard they tried to be edgy. I'm glad they killed Chuck Bass tho. But I'm also sad they did it because his favorite TV show was Glee (when I read this I had to laugh out loud. Of course he's a gleek). And Nate is just so BORING!? Blair and Serena should just date eachother. Period. They really be trying to kill eachother over a himbo who's only personality is being handsome and a stoner 😭 WHO GAF!!! And Vanessa is SO ANNOYING AND PRETENTIOUS!!! like even more than Dan, AND THAT SAYS A LOT. At least she had taste for choosing Natural Born Killers as a movie to reboot. But not giving Serena the part of Mallory Knox just because she was jealous over some guy who doesn't even speak (you're not Paul Dano in Little Miss Sunshine BITCH) AND WHO SET A FUCKING CAT ON FIRE was sooooooo fucking lame. I would actually LOVE to see a Natural Born Killers reboot with Dan Humphrey and Serena Van der Woodsen. That was the most exciting thing about her character and she blew it away.
Overall, I had fun reading this book (even though I'm already tired of reading the Pilot over and over again) because of the authors writing. It's pop culture perfection and I love it so much. I would give it 2.5-3 stars tho?
Overall, I had fun reading this book (even though I'm already tired of reading the Pilot over and over again) because of the authors writing. It's pop culture perfection and I love it so much. I would give it 2.5-3 stars tho?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 17, 2013
When I saw this book on NetGalley, I knew I had to request it. I’ve read all of the Gossip Girl series books (except one), so I wanted to see how this book fit in. And as I found out, it fit quite well into the universe Cecily Von Ziegesar created.
Now, I’m not saying that it’s a perfect book, but the characters and the universe were on point with the original series. Gossip Girl: Psycho Killer is an adaptation of the first book of the series. It starts off much like the original book, and goes on its own from there. Think of the original series, but practically everyone wants to kill at least one person. Now, there’s only two actual psycho killers, I would say. That took me by surprise that it wasn’t just one person who wanted to kill people.
Something that made the GG:PK better than the rest would be that the technologies von Ziegesar writes about are updated and correct. In previous books, she’d confuse the iMac with the iBook and she would write things like, “She wrote her college essay with her iMac on her lap.” Thankfully with the updated technology, these kids have iPhones and Macbooks.
The actual events in the story were crazy, as one would expect. Serena and Blair go head-to-head over Nate, of course. There are exploding eyeballs, an incident with an eyelash curler, and Serena just slashing people in cold blood.
If you enjoyed the original series, you’ll like this. It’s a bit gruesome at times and quite ridiculous.
It’s not a book that I would want to reread or see a sequel to, but it’s a quick read for the Halloween season. I really hope there’s a slasher episode near Halloween!
Now, I’m not saying that it’s a perfect book, but the characters and the universe were on point with the original series. Gossip Girl: Psycho Killer is an adaptation of the first book of the series. It starts off much like the original book, and goes on its own from there. Think of the original series, but practically everyone wants to kill at least one person. Now, there’s only two actual psycho killers, I would say. That took me by surprise that it wasn’t just one person who wanted to kill people.
Something that made the GG:PK better than the rest would be that the technologies von Ziegesar writes about are updated and correct. In previous books, she’d confuse the iMac with the iBook and she would write things like, “She wrote her college essay with her iMac on her lap.” Thankfully with the updated technology, these kids have iPhones and Macbooks.
The actual events in the story were crazy, as one would expect. Serena and Blair go head-to-head over Nate, of course. There are exploding eyeballs, an incident with an eyelash curler, and Serena just slashing people in cold blood.
If you enjoyed the original series, you’ll like this. It’s a bit gruesome at times and quite ridiculous.
It’s not a book that I would want to reread or see a sequel to, but it’s a quick read for the Halloween season. I really hope there’s a slasher episode near Halloween!
December 20, 2011
gossip girl psycho killer is a #1 New York Times bestselling novel by Cecily Von Ziegesar.
About the Author
Cecily von Ziegesar grew up in Manhattan and attended a small, private girls' school on the Upper East Side. She began writing poems and short stories and fantasizing about murdering people as soon as she could hold a pen. Gossip Girl was her first novel. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband, daughter and son, and two nearly hairless cats named Pony Boy and Woody. She hasn't actually killed anyone--at least, not yet.
Ok, I really tried to give this one a try, but it just was revolting to me. The language was gutter mouth and the whole subject of killing or even wanting to kill just at random I found very disturbing. So, being the good mother that I am , I asked my adult daughter to read it and see what she thought and the following is her opinion. Me, I had to put the book in my did not finish stack, which is a very short stack, as I love to read and give me reviews, but I just couldn't finish this one folks.
Being a fan of the TV show Gossip Girl, I found this book to border on the
ridiculous. I must say, however, that the complete denial from the limited adults
in the book do mirror the oblivious attitude shown in the show. The sickly rich
do get away with anti-social behaviors that would not be accepted by the rest
of society.
So there you have 2 opinions for what it's worth, I received this book from http://pickapoppy.com/and the opinions are mine and my daughter's and we did not get paid for this review.
About the Author
Cecily von Ziegesar grew up in Manhattan and attended a small, private girls' school on the Upper East Side. She began writing poems and short stories and fantasizing about murdering people as soon as she could hold a pen. Gossip Girl was her first novel. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband, daughter and son, and two nearly hairless cats named Pony Boy and Woody. She hasn't actually killed anyone--at least, not yet.
Ok, I really tried to give this one a try, but it just was revolting to me. The language was gutter mouth and the whole subject of killing or even wanting to kill just at random I found very disturbing. So, being the good mother that I am , I asked my adult daughter to read it and see what she thought and the following is her opinion. Me, I had to put the book in my did not finish stack, which is a very short stack, as I love to read and give me reviews, but I just couldn't finish this one folks.
Being a fan of the TV show Gossip Girl, I found this book to border on the
ridiculous. I must say, however, that the complete denial from the limited adults
in the book do mirror the oblivious attitude shown in the show. The sickly rich
do get away with anti-social behaviors that would not be accepted by the rest
of society.
So there you have 2 opinions for what it's worth, I received this book from http://pickapoppy.com/and the opinions are mine and my daughter's and we did not get paid for this review.
December 4, 2012
I wish I could rate this book at a negative star. It was so bad. I was HIGHLY disappointed that the author couldn't make up a whole new story for this "thriller." Why would she EVEN take the first book in the series and turn everything around to make it "scary?" First off, it's what I would like to call LAZY. Second, it wasn't even scary. Most of it was actually disgusting. It was gross to read about how Jenny liked to eat raw meat and it was gross to read about the gory details of someone being murdered. Not to mention, it was poorly written.
There was also nothing new. The author failed at trying to make Serena and Blaire into serial killers and the ending I can't even tell you how much I disliked. What I don't understand, however, is that the killings were performed in public settings and yet no police were ever involved? What kind of world do you live in Cecily von Ziegesar? A very angry one I imagine. That's all the characters really were, were angry and the only way they could satisfy their anger was murder.
I hope no one even picks this one up to read. HIGHLY DISLIKED.
There was also nothing new. The author failed at trying to make Serena and Blaire into serial killers and the ending I can't even tell you how much I disliked. What I don't understand, however, is that the killings were performed in public settings and yet no police were ever involved? What kind of world do you live in Cecily von Ziegesar? A very angry one I imagine. That's all the characters really were, were angry and the only way they could satisfy their anger was murder.
I hope no one even picks this one up to read. HIGHLY DISLIKED.
June 10, 2021
2.5 ⭐
Gore tw, spoilers
This book review is all the over the place but the book doesn't warrant anything written with more effort.
I am currently watching Gossip Girl and I found out that the show is based on a book series. Curious, I headed to goodreads and I saw right at the end of the list of all the books that there was a retelling of Gossip Girl but where Serena is a serial killer. The moment I read that description I burst out laughing, told my friend, and instantly Googled a way to read it. I literally couldn't find this book anywhere, I assume they're not publishing it anymore? But in the depths of google, I managed to find an ebook.
I expected this book to be trash. I wasn't expecting a great book judging by the description, ratings and reviews. Um. I was right, but also, it was kinda fun. Much like the show, the bitchy, spoiled, upper-classness grows on you.
The stereotypes of each of the characters are... interesting? Some of the characters differ vastly from the show, and I wonder if this is consistent with the other books in this series.
Serena - blonde hair blue eyes, prone to tantrums, may look like a complete mess with the bitten cuticle and nails; frayed and old clothes; her unbrushed hair but is still somehow effortlessly stunning, everyone loves her. Is in love with Nate. She's the main killer in this story.
Blair - brunette, the perfect student, hates Serena, prone to jealousy, prim and proper. Is second-best to Serena. Is in love with Nate and is dating him. Fantasises about killing people (which she eventually does), and hates her mums boyfriend.
Nate - rich stoner kid. Is dating Blair but is in love with Serena (until Serena rips of chucks eyelid with an eyelash curler).
Chuck - rich, hot, sleazy.
Vanessa - only wears black, film student, emo, listens to Gregorian chants, shaves her head. Is in love with Dan.
Dan - doesn't eat anything (and when he does he eats Jenny's raw meat), chainsmoker, so thin you can see his bones, fantasies about killing himself as well as Chuck, read depressing existentialist poems, lives off coffee, is hopelessly in love with Serena
Jenny - she has big boobs which are described almost ridiculously, only eats raw meat, wishes she was like Serena and lived on the Upper Eastside. Whenever Jenny is mentioned in this book, her giant honkers also mentioned in the same sentence. Absolutely massive knockers. Humongous badonkadonks.
This book is ridiculous from the getgo. You have a list of the murders Serena committed at boarding school and somehow got away with. Like no one was suspicious about how the boys who were with Serena were brutally murdered? Like I know the rich can get away with stuff, but to this extent? I'm just assuming that law enforcement, security camera, people who use their eyes don't exist in this universe, because Serena can go killing people willy nilly and no one notices, the law enforcement never seems to find any evidence, and people simply don't care that there's a serial killer about, its just exciting juicy gossip. The people in this book will see a dead body and be like, my classmate just got brutally murdered and I should be grieving, but lol I'm sending this to gossip girl xoxo.
"No one seemed to mind the sight of a half-crazed almost-seventeen-year-old girl brandishing a large, sharp knife, brunette mane flying, as she ran after her prey." - this quote really summaries this whole book.
Something Blair says at the start of the book: "The girl she wanted to kill so badly her hair hurt thinking about it." What does this mean?
Some guys eyeballs exploded at a family dinner at Blairs and no seemed to comment on it, not the even the guys parents. The maids just cleaned it up, no questions asked. Serena tells Blair that she caused the guys eyes to explode, and Blairs only reaction is to be like um im the only killer around here.
A girl confronts Serena for murdering her brother whilst they are both alone in an elevator, which is such a dumb thing to do (she dies). Serenas thought pattern: "She couldn’t very well allow this girl to go blabbing all over Constance about how Serena had shish-kebabbed her brother."
Blair impales a girl in an assembly hall of people, and no one notices. Sure okay.
Vanessa's bald in this, and Dan makes her feel like she needs to pee. Don't ask me what this is supposed to mean.
Jenny eats raw meat in the kitchen, and Dan doesn't question it.
Blair and Serena somehow rob a weaponry store and then whilst trying to escape, Blair stabs Serena. Serena survives, but is more concerned about she should wear to the big party, than her ex-best friend almost killing her.
Vanessa takes Serena to a rock concert. She is happy that Serena is enjoying herself, even though Vanessa would personally prefer to listen to Gregorian chants. I wish Vanessa listened to Gregorian chants in the show.
Jenny is dancing at a party with Chuck. Her absolutely giant honky honks are mentioned. "...when she moved her shoulders just so, her boobs bounced out of her dress and bumped against Chuck’s chin. Chuck was delighted." Chuck tries to rape Jenny. Jenny calls Dan. Dan goes to rescue his sister. Serena comes too. Jenny, Dan, and Serena are now all involved in the murder of Chuck Bass. In a public bathroom. Dan wanted to kill Chuck himself but couldn't do it, so Serena did it for him.
The book ends with Dan and Serena driving away in a taxi. Dan tells Serena he's not scared of her. She smiles at him. No one suffers the consequences of their actions ❤
The End ❤
In summary, please say this book is satire. This book is trash but if you're a fan of show or the other books, it is fun to read about the characters acting in many ways that are the opposite of how they are presented in the normal universe. If you're also a fan of reading about gory murder committed through many creative ways, and characters who don't suffer the consequences of their actions, this book is for you 👍.
Gore tw, spoilers
This book review is all the over the place but the book doesn't warrant anything written with more effort.
I am currently watching Gossip Girl and I found out that the show is based on a book series. Curious, I headed to goodreads and I saw right at the end of the list of all the books that there was a retelling of Gossip Girl but where Serena is a serial killer. The moment I read that description I burst out laughing, told my friend, and instantly Googled a way to read it. I literally couldn't find this book anywhere, I assume they're not publishing it anymore? But in the depths of google, I managed to find an ebook.
I expected this book to be trash. I wasn't expecting a great book judging by the description, ratings and reviews. Um. I was right, but also, it was kinda fun. Much like the show, the bitchy, spoiled, upper-classness grows on you.
The stereotypes of each of the characters are... interesting? Some of the characters differ vastly from the show, and I wonder if this is consistent with the other books in this series.
Serena - blonde hair blue eyes, prone to tantrums, may look like a complete mess with the bitten cuticle and nails; frayed and old clothes; her unbrushed hair but is still somehow effortlessly stunning, everyone loves her. Is in love with Nate. She's the main killer in this story.
Blair - brunette, the perfect student, hates Serena, prone to jealousy, prim and proper. Is second-best to Serena. Is in love with Nate and is dating him. Fantasises about killing people (which she eventually does), and hates her mums boyfriend.
Nate - rich stoner kid. Is dating Blair but is in love with Serena (until Serena rips of chucks eyelid with an eyelash curler).
Chuck - rich, hot, sleazy.
Vanessa - only wears black, film student, emo, listens to Gregorian chants, shaves her head. Is in love with Dan.
Dan - doesn't eat anything (and when he does he eats Jenny's raw meat), chainsmoker, so thin you can see his bones, fantasies about killing himself as well as Chuck, read depressing existentialist poems, lives off coffee, is hopelessly in love with Serena
Jenny - she has big boobs which are described almost ridiculously, only eats raw meat, wishes she was like Serena and lived on the Upper Eastside. Whenever Jenny is mentioned in this book, her giant honkers also mentioned in the same sentence. Absolutely massive knockers. Humongous badonkadonks.
This book is ridiculous from the getgo. You have a list of the murders Serena committed at boarding school and somehow got away with. Like no one was suspicious about how the boys who were with Serena were brutally murdered? Like I know the rich can get away with stuff, but to this extent? I'm just assuming that law enforcement, security camera, people who use their eyes don't exist in this universe, because Serena can go killing people willy nilly and no one notices, the law enforcement never seems to find any evidence, and people simply don't care that there's a serial killer about, its just exciting juicy gossip. The people in this book will see a dead body and be like, my classmate just got brutally murdered and I should be grieving, but lol I'm sending this to gossip girl xoxo.
"No one seemed to mind the sight of a half-crazed almost-seventeen-year-old girl brandishing a large, sharp knife, brunette mane flying, as she ran after her prey." - this quote really summaries this whole book.
Something Blair says at the start of the book: "The girl she wanted to kill so badly her hair hurt thinking about it." What does this mean?
Some guys eyeballs exploded at a family dinner at Blairs and no seemed to comment on it, not the even the guys parents. The maids just cleaned it up, no questions asked. Serena tells Blair that she caused the guys eyes to explode, and Blairs only reaction is to be like um im the only killer around here.
A girl confronts Serena for murdering her brother whilst they are both alone in an elevator, which is such a dumb thing to do (she dies). Serenas thought pattern: "She couldn’t very well allow this girl to go blabbing all over Constance about how Serena had shish-kebabbed her brother."
Blair impales a girl in an assembly hall of people, and no one notices. Sure okay.
Vanessa's bald in this, and Dan makes her feel like she needs to pee. Don't ask me what this is supposed to mean.
Jenny eats raw meat in the kitchen, and Dan doesn't question it.
Blair and Serena somehow rob a weaponry store and then whilst trying to escape, Blair stabs Serena. Serena survives, but is more concerned about she should wear to the big party, than her ex-best friend almost killing her.
Vanessa takes Serena to a rock concert. She is happy that Serena is enjoying herself, even though Vanessa would personally prefer to listen to Gregorian chants. I wish Vanessa listened to Gregorian chants in the show.
Jenny is dancing at a party with Chuck. Her absolutely giant honky honks are mentioned. "...when she moved her shoulders just so, her boobs bounced out of her dress and bumped against Chuck’s chin. Chuck was delighted." Chuck tries to rape Jenny. Jenny calls Dan. Dan goes to rescue his sister. Serena comes too. Jenny, Dan, and Serena are now all involved in the murder of Chuck Bass. In a public bathroom. Dan wanted to kill Chuck himself but couldn't do it, so Serena did it for him.
The book ends with Dan and Serena driving away in a taxi. Dan tells Serena he's not scared of her. She smiles at him. No one suffers the consequences of their actions ❤
The End ❤
In summary, please say this book is satire. This book is trash but if you're a fan of show or the other books, it is fun to read about the characters acting in many ways that are the opposite of how they are presented in the normal universe. If you're also a fan of reading about gory murder committed through many creative ways, and characters who don't suffer the consequences of their actions, this book is for you 👍.
February 16, 2013
"Who hasn't had sex with Serena? That nasty slut. Sure she wants to be friends again. I fucking kill her. I'll rip her heart out and eat it and then throw it up and make you eat it and then make you throw it up and make her it eat it!"
I didn't really have high expectations for this book, I just thought it'd be a little more well-written. I think it was kind of a rip-off of Jennifer's Body. Serena's character, at least. The whole killing-boys-because-they're-like-sooo-stupid thing. I just hated how von Ziegesar made murder seem like farting quietly and hoping no one would smell it. The fact that it was so unrealistic made me question completing the book a few times.
I didn't really have high expectations for this book, I just thought it'd be a little more well-written. I think it was kind of a rip-off of Jennifer's Body. Serena's character, at least. The whole killing-boys-because-they're-like-sooo-stupid thing. I just hated how von Ziegesar made murder seem like farting quietly and hoping no one would smell it. The fact that it was so unrealistic made me question completing the book a few times.
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