~~From Red Adept Reviews~~
I downloaded Sultana: A Novel of Moorish Spain, by Lisa J. Yarde, from Amazon.com as a free ebook.
Overall: 3 3/4 Stars
Plot/Storyline: 4 Stars
Sultana took me to thirteenth-century Andalusia, in the south of Spain, to its last remaining Islamic sultanate. Delectable plot-related complications stemming from the very first scene--the old Sultan really was an excellent schemer--carried the first act of the novel. Tension is never extreme, but it ebbs and flows at an organic pace.
The novel's many plot points were generally tight and excellent, but the timing of their reveals were not always, er, timely. At one point, a character rushes to warn another of an impending assassination attack, but once he reaches the intended victim, he basically says he'll tell him tomorrow why he's come. The assassin kindly waits until after that later meeting before attacking.
A mild gift of foresight in a handful of characters, which could have been handled brilliantly within the context of historical fiction, ended up being virtually unused and was forgotten for the last half of the book.
All chapters began with a date stamp, but during one early chapter, the time references made were noticeably off, with Fatima and Faraj being listed as two years younger than the date stamp indicated they were. The issue was corrected the next time it was mentioned.
I only stumbled over one anachronism: when a character at a feast muses about his refraining from eating certain feast foods, twice using the phrase "for religious reasons", the words sound stilted and modern, not blending well with the eloquent phrasing in the rest of the novel.
For a novel titled Sultana, I didn't expect so much of it to focus on Faraj. His storyline took up at least as much of the plot as Fatima's, and while her plot line dwindled into neglect, abandoning without conclusion such fun things as poison and attempted fratricide, his wrapped up nicely and even ended the book. That ending felt more like a lull than a denouement, though; I was expecting a final section on Fatima's situation, but I was disappointed. There is a sequel available, though, so I presume her story continues there.
Character Development: 4 3/4 Stars
Fatima was a wonderful character. Strong-willed but not rebellious, clever but not Sherlock Holmes. My favorite flaw was her obsessive devotion to her deceased mother and how it colored her behavior. She knew the rules of her culture, and the consequences for breaking them. Her fear of overstepping her bounds made those rules real to me, but her desire to protect those she loved was timeless, and I identified with her willingness to risk punishment in order to do it.
Faraj was also well-rounded; his insistence on a woman knowing her place, and how Fatima should act as a wife and princess, was both disheartening and amusing, and showed that even though he grew to love her deeply, his patriarchal culture very much dictated who he was and how he treated her. His childhood issues came across as less-developed than Fatima's, though; they were related in a pair of dialogue sessions and not so much through his actions.
Baraka the concubine, though a minor character, had a vital role to play during the novel's climax. I had pegged her as a narcissist early on, but she surprised me. The spendthrift Sultana Maryam was another minor character who dramatically affected the plot, to my great delight. When her character blossomed in one pivotal scene with Fatima, I literally said, "Wow."
The numerous other minor characters really fleshed out the atmosphere in the Alhambra palace: the old Sultan, the new Sultan, Crown Prince Muhammad, Faraj's jawari women, Sultana Maryam, the delectable Nur, the eunuch Niranjan, blond Marzuq, and the fabulous Sitt al-Tujjar. They blended seamlessly with their world; I never once lost my sense of being in the 13th century with them.
Writing Style: 3 1/2 Stars
The book's very first scene was probably the worst one in the book. In what is supposed to be a fast-paced kidnapping scene, Fatima's inner thoughts bogged down the tension, a loud bird is only revealed to be in the room halfway through the scene, and its banging and squawking wakes none of the other sleepers, nor does it draw guards. Worse, a vital detail about Fatima is left out completely--she was married earlier in the day. By the time the book tells me this, I've already formed opinions on her kidnappers, the social environment, and the sultanate's politics, and now I have to throw them all out and start over. It wasn't a promising start, but the rest of the book read much better.
Description was excellent. Use of the five senses made the settings come alive with smells, flavors and textures. Sometimes the richness of description outdid itself, repeating that it was raining or that a character wore a tunic as if stating so for the first time, but for the most part, the world carried me away in time and place. "Silken" was a favorite word, but it was very apt.
Awkward phrasing and timing kept catching my eye: a sentence with a phrase at the wrong end, a misjudged antecedent, impossible adjectives. Never the same problem twice, but I ended up with a constant sense of unsettledness with the language.
Editing: 2 1/2 Stars
The first page of the story had a missing space, jamming two words together. The second page had another. The third page had three. Though I gave up counting them at the 50% mark, there's about one of these for every Kindle page in the book. Usually I read story files submitted by the author to Red Adept Reviews, and often I convert them myself from other formats--which leaves errors like this sometimes--other times, updated and corrected versions are available to the public. But I downloaded this one fresh off Amazon four days before writing this review. I nearly quit reading on page three.
Incorrectly used commas appear like weeds, popping up between random--and I do mean random--pairs of words and covering vast swaths of the story with their presence. Other minor grammatical and punctuation errors were sprinkled throughout. One word misuse left Faraj crying outside during battle instead of merely crying out.