Loved this book. No easy way to categorize or explain it, but I was moved to want to copy out sentences here and there where I felt she, the author, captured something I have known in life but that is hard to capture in words. The author presents herself in some ways as an aggressive,talkative extrovert but her writing is understated and reflective in ways that I appreciate. I was surprised when I saw her book jacket photo-- the only thing I didn't like about the book-- in the photo I saw a young woman, a bit arrogant or sulky, but no sign of the humor, sensitivity, finesse and generosity that I came to know reading this memoir-- (which proves one can't judge much by someone's photo).
The author is a freelance journalist, and I grew to trust her observations and was pulled into her experiences, ones I can never hope to have. She weaves in the story of Gilgamesh at one point, at another, the source of the Sunni-Shiite split, something I've read elsewhere but never been able to retain, alongside personal experience of escalating tensions in Iraq and later Beirut. It is an autobiographical story of food, love, and history, and family. You understand how food makes a home, with every detail of delicious sounding meals and their contexts, alongside the recent detailed ssnippets of histories of Beirut and Bagdad-- of civil strife, of war, of family, of love, and of how people carry on and continue to live their lives no matter what the circumstances. And all of this is happening as she is falling in love, and then marrying her sweetheart, who happens to be of Lebanese Shiite origin, but is an American journalist. Somehow, it all works, without anything ringing false. The author does not force words or wrap things up into a narrative that makes things easy or too resolved. An excellent example, in book form of "show, don't tell." She shows and I'm so grateful to be able to go along under her cape, so to speak, to see, hear, and experience it all.
I will quote from a few paragraphs from the introduction to give you a sense:
"I went to the Middle East like most Americans, relatively naive about both Arab culture and American foreign policy. Over the next six years, I saw plenty of war, but I also saw normal, everyday life. I sat through ceremonial dinners with tribal sheiks in Bagdad; kneeled and ate kubbet hamudh on the floor with Iraqi women from Fallujah; drank home-brewed arak with Christian militiamen in the mountains of Lebanon; feasted on boiled turkey with mild-mannered peshmerga warlord in Kurdistan; and learned how to make yakhnet kusa and many other dishes from my Lebanese mother-in-law, Umm Hasane, who doesn't speak a word of English. Other people saw more, did more, risked more. But I ate more.
If you want to understand war, you have to understand everyday life first. The dominant narrative of the Middle East is perpetual conflict: the bombs and the bullets and the battles are always different, and yet always, somehow, depressingly the same. And so this book is not about the ever-evolving ways in which people kill or die during wars but about how they live before, during, and after those wars. It's about the millions of small ways people cope--te ways they arrange their lives, under sometimes unimaginable stress and hardship, and the ways they survive." (p.9)