Crabby Cook Cookbook: Recipes and Rants

by Jessica Harper

Introducing a very funny, slightly edgy, winning new kind of cookbook Jessica Harper—that Jessica Harper, star of Minority Report, Stardust Memories, Love and Death, Pennies from Heaven, and more—is a working mother of two who faces the same problems of every other woman who’s the designated home How do you feed a family of picky eaters when you’re not crazy about being in the kitchen in the first place? A natural-born storyteller and terrifically engaging writer, she does what she’s done all her life—entertain us—while at the same time offering 100 not just easy but really easy-to-make, really tasty recipes. Her stories are filled with charming crabbiness—of cooking early in the day for the two kids who eat only six things, then later for the husband who eats only about eight things, none of which share common ground with those first six; of inviting her mother-in-law for dinner and handing her an apron; of suffering HAS—Hostess Anxiety Syndrome—having the book club over and picking The Good Earth because it matches the neighborhood’s great new Chinese take-out, so no cooking involved! She wants to give a Nobel Prize to the person who invented bagged salad, and she recounts a wonderful story of making homemade turkey pot pie for the very first time—its crust tasted like rosemary-scented Play-Doh—to serve to Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford.But crabby or not, she’s found a way to make it work, and work brilliantly. The Crabby Cook is about how to change your food-i-tude—no more garnish guilt, for example, and why “sort of homemade” is just as good as homemade (ie, knowing when to go all out with Pain-in-the-Ass Minestrone and when to settle for the almost-as-tasty Lazy-Ass Minestrone). It’s how to identify those Miracle Foods—the stuff that everyone loves, like Gobble-It-Up Turkey Chili and Tony’s Rigatoni. And even a whole survival guide—despite her HAS—to entertaining, including drinks, Whore’s

Genres: Cookbooks, Food, Nonfiction, Cooking

273 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 24, 2010

Reviews

[Iowa City Public Library]

Truth be told, I’m not really. I enjoy the “joy of cooking”. Other than when working until 7 p.m. And coming home to find my nearest and dearest wasting away, wondering if dinner will be on his plate in five minutes. Even then, I enjoy the act of preparing a meal to be shared. Though, in fact, it may end up being salad in a bag with take out pizza (as always, thank you Pagliai’s!)

But for those who don’t enjoy the act, have picky eaters to feed, or simply have more to do than cooking a five course meal from scratch each day allows, there’s a great new book at ICPL. The Crabby Cook Cookbook, by Jessica Harper, is a compendium of “almost effortless” recipes and plenty of survival tips from a writer who is a born storyteller. In fact, Harper is a movie actress (anyone remember the cult movies The Phantom of the Paradise or Suspira?) She’s also a children’s musician and author, and a wickedly funny lady. Her sense of humor and clear expertise in the kitchen shine throughout the book, making it a fun read whether you’re standing in the kitchen or not. And the recipes sound both tasty and easy to make!

Here are just a few of the storytelling recipes she shares with readers: the Hell of Lasagna; the Famous Tuna Melt of ’96; the Killer Cheese Ball; Pain-in-the-Ass Minestrone; Dog-Proof Caprese Salad; and, Criminal Coconut Cake.

Jessica Harper isn’t just fun to read though. She also has a website called, not surprisingly, The Crabby Cook. There you can find more kitchen survival ideas and tips plus some hilarious video clips. Take a look at Harper’s sly and clever approach to cooking for a ladies book group:

http://thecrabbycook.com/cool-product...

Julia Child might end this with a hearty “bon appetite!” I’ll just say try cooking “The Crabby Cook” way, then kick off your shoes and relax… --Debb

From ICPL Staff Picks Blog

[Lenore Webb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Hubby and I have been just sorta hanging out in the evenings. Playing lots of cards. I finished the book I was reading (tell you about that one in February) and now am rambling my way through the Crabby Cookbook. Yes, I am READING a cookbook. Actually not hard to do with this one since there are so many lil tales in it. Real family life of how you can't please all the people.....ever. Gosh I so know that one. In my other life (pre Dear Hubby) I cooked daily for 7 family members. I never put a dish on the table that all 7 liked. Someone would fuss about something. It did make me a crabby cook. I hated mealtime as I just felt put down all the time.

Now with Dear Hubby and College Girl it is not that way. There are times I do make two dishes. Like if we happen to be lucky enough to have steak then I also do salmon. Mom and CG do not care for steak and if I can have a good meat then they deserve a good one too. But that in itself is a rarity. With the Crabby Cook Cookbook I am seeing a mix of way too simple recipes and then some that I am interested in. But I guess we all go from easy dishes (total no brainers) to those we have to mix, measure and mull over. Jessica Harper, actress, mom, children's author, and crabby cook put together this gem. She has gone the gambit like most of us and is sharing her secrets. The biggest one is that we all are crabby at times. I do like and follow Jessica's blog and gleam from the recipes she has there too. Go check it out at http://thecrabbycook.com/

I was lucky to have the Crabby Cook Cookbook sent to me for a review. I know I am already dog earring some pages so I can fix these dishes once I get back home. It has only been two weeks but gosh it feels like I have been at this hospital forever already. I am ready to get back to normal life and cooking again.

[Bonnie Fazio · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've rarely met a cookbook I didn't want to own, and my husband gave me several for Christmas; this was one of them. It is a spin on "The I Hate to Cook Book" by the late, great Peg Bracken. John didn't make the thematic connection, but rightly guessed that I would enjoy this book.

It doesn't have the vintage element (which, for me, is part of the charm of Bracken's books), but it is amusing and well-written, and offers lots of easy-but-yummy-sounding recipes. The few I've tried so far have yielded tasty results and haven't been difficult. I did read the book cover to cover (not something I do with every cookbook).

The author is a pretty famous actress or (as she describes herself) former actress ("Suspiria," "My Favorite Year" and "Love and Death" are a few of the many films she's acted in). Being a movie lover and perpetually starstruck, I was pleased to learn that. (I KNEW the cover photo looked familiar). Harper also writes an interesting blog, into which I've thus far only briefly delved, and has recorded some albums.

Recommended for cooks, reluctant cooks, Peg Bracken fans, Jessica Harper fans and probably a bunch of other people too.

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is pretty entertaining. You can relate to the author, which makes the book so much more personable and fun than most cookbooks. All of this fun takes quite a bit of valuable cookbook real estate, so it isn't encyclopedic. Who cares - that's what your other cookbooks are for. This one is for encouraging you to get back in the kitchen again and again and again and again to feed your thankless hooligans!

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is so funny! I didn't make any of the recipes, but I was thoroughly entertained by the antics of Jessica Harper, husband Tom Rothman, and family. The premise is that you're a crabby cook so she's going to show you how to tackle cooking without getting TOO crabby and actually (sometimes) having fun doing it. Each recipe has a story in front of it. Very entertaining.

[Horror DNA · Rating 4 out of 5]

Actress Jessica Harper (Suspiria) has faced the challenge of multiple menus and defines herself as a “Crabby Cook” who rants about the exhausting task of cooking for picky eaters. She has collected over 100 recipes together in a book called The Crabby Cook Cookbook, Each recipe is prefaced with an amusing anecdote of how the meal was created and whether or not it is a “miracle food” (i.e., something that everyone will eat).

You can read ZigZag's full review at Horror DNA by clicking here.

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

She's crabby. She's also pretty passive aggressive. If your husband won't cook don't repress all your anger & continue to make a meal every night. Also, don't go claiming that everyone's kids will love this recipe for scallops, even if you don't live in a landlocked state.

[Frank Engel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Recipes are pretty basic, and the author gabs a lot. Some people probably would enjoy this, but I was more interested in new recipes. Unfortunately the book underperforms on this.

[Krissy · Rating 3 out of 5]

so, I'd love to try most of the recipes in this book, but I think I'm a crabbier cook than she is. Maybe it's because I don't have most of the ingredients available to me at a cheap prices.

Still, I plan on trying some of them, especially come closer to the holidays, as I really and truly don't see a reason for making a huge damn turkey that only gets half eaten. (Mini-Thanksgiving Roast Turkey, page 78)

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I normally don't "read" a cookbook cover to cover, but I did on this one. The book is filled with short stories that made me giggle like a mad woman. I may not be a crabby cook most of the time, but I can certainly relate to the frustrations of trying to cook for picky eaters. The recipes look pretty good, and I can't wait to try some in the near future.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good recipes, great anecdotes between the recipes. I like books where it is obvious that the person writing actually cooks like the rest of us, every day, for a bunch of oft times unappreciative people.

[Pat · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some good recipes. The humor is annoying!

[Meg Benjamin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely delightful. Harper reminds me of Peg Bracken, sort of a Peg Bracken for our times.

[Andreastephaniefarmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was funny!

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good recipes, and fun stories. I look forward to trying more recipes from this cookbook. :)

[Stacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've copied several recipes from this. I like her stories of cooking for her family, too. The only reason I didn't give it more stars is that there are several things (lamb, etc) that I don't eat.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a clever and witty "cookbook." Each recipe comes with a hilarious story. I'd really like to be friends with Jessica Harper, she is a riot!

Loved the book, it was LOL funny!

[Pam · Rating 4 out of 5]

The intro was so funny I have to read the rest. Not your usual cookboook. Lots of commentary