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Calling in "The One": 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life
Are you frustrated by stymied relationships, missed connections, and the loneliness of the search for someone to spend the rest of your life with? Are you ready, instead, to find “The One”? In Calling in “The One , ” Katherine Woodward Thomas shares her own personal experience to show women that in order to find the relationship that will last a lifetime, you have to be truly open and ready to create a loving, committed, romantic union. Calling in “The One” shows you how.
Based on the Law of Attraction, which is the concept that we can only attract what we’re ready to receive, the provocative yet simple seven-week program in Calling in “The One” prepares you to bring forth the love you seek. For each of the 49 days of Thomas’s thoughtful and life-affirming plan, there is a daily lesson, a corresponding practice, and instruction for putting that lesson into action in your life. Meditation, visualization, and journaling exercises will gently lead you to recognize the obstacles on your path to love and provide ways to steer around them. At the end of those 49 days, you will be in the ideal emotional state to go out into the world and find “The One.”
An inspirational approach that offers a radical new philosophy on relationships, Calling in “The One” is your guide to finding the love you seek.
Based on the Law of Attraction, which is the concept that we can only attract what we’re ready to receive, the provocative yet simple seven-week program in Calling in “The One” prepares you to bring forth the love you seek. For each of the 49 days of Thomas’s thoughtful and life-affirming plan, there is a daily lesson, a corresponding practice, and instruction for putting that lesson into action in your life. Meditation, visualization, and journaling exercises will gently lead you to recognize the obstacles on your path to love and provide ways to steer around them. At the end of those 49 days, you will be in the ideal emotional state to go out into the world and find “The One.”
An inspirational approach that offers a radical new philosophy on relationships, Calling in “The One” is your guide to finding the love you seek.
295 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 10, 2004
699 people are currently reading
3175 people want to read
About the author
Katherine Woodward Thomas
15 books102 followersKatherine Woodward Thomas is the New York Times bestselling author of Calling in “The One”: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life and Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After. Her forthcoming book, What’s True About You: 7 Steps to Move Beyond Your Painful Past and Manifest Your Brightest Future, will be released in January 2026.
Katherine is a licensed marriage and family therapist, an award-winning educator, and the creator of two Mindvalley Quests. She has trained thousands of people worldwide as certified relationship coaches in her highly transformative methods. She is also the creator of the acclaimed True You process and serves as the lead teacher of the True You Membership Program.
Katherine is a licensed marriage and family therapist, an award-winning educator, and the creator of two Mindvalley Quests. She has trained thousands of people worldwide as certified relationship coaches in her highly transformative methods. She is also the creator of the acclaimed True You process and serves as the lead teacher of the True You Membership Program.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 156 reviews
January 8, 2014
This book has proven to be very rewarding to me. After several unsuccessful attempts at creating a job that I like I decided why not use this book to call in my Souljob. Although the book is geared toward finding the love of your life it actually helped me uncover many of my mistakes in jobs and new ways to approach finding "The One" job for me. The exercises are easy to make them apply to this kind of quest.
It took me five months to complete the book exercises. All of which have led to me starting a new job in location, position and rewards I've been seeking. You have to be willing to do the work involved to get the results you want. It isn't easy to look at our patterns, but it is so worth it. This book provides a methodical and gentle way of approaching it.
Highly recommend for both searching for a job and love. Both paths bring you to a greater capacity to give and receive love in all you do. Enjoy!
It took me five months to complete the book exercises. All of which have led to me starting a new job in location, position and rewards I've been seeking. You have to be willing to do the work involved to get the results you want. It isn't easy to look at our patterns, but it is so worth it. This book provides a methodical and gentle way of approaching it.
Highly recommend for both searching for a job and love. Both paths bring you to a greater capacity to give and receive love in all you do. Enjoy!
March 4, 2013
I absolutely cannot stand how gimmicky this title is, but this book is excellent. It is helping me peel back the layers and seeing how I am blocking myself from really being able to have love in my life. I am barely through it and I love it already. It is also based on the Law of Attraction, which I am a huge believer of. I will update when I am finished.
June 20, 2008
I like this workbook because it focuses on 'you' not on trying to snag or capture a guy. Through easy exercises it help you to identify your triggers, work past them, identify what you want out of life in a relationship and provides affirmations to go out and have the courage to seek what your heart desires.
September 17, 2020
If The Big Book of AA were to hook up with A Course in Miracles--this book would be their love child.
Want the truth? if you read this entire book and do all of its exercises with sincere effort your life will change. Period.
Actually despite the hand-wavey aspect to the whole "manifesting" phenomenon there is a lot of good science that suggests this type of program can create permanent and lasting change in ones habits.
The premise of this book is that through stringently honest personal inventory and focused work one can make small shifts in oneself to start attracting suitable love interests. We've all known those gals who say, "I want to meet a man who is available!" yet only date married men, right? This book is for them, and for the people (it's not just for women although the cover is a bit romance-heavy) who are twenty pounds overweight and are dreaming about meeting their soulmates as they chomp through yet another thirty romance novels. Whoops, that's me. The people, in other words who are pretty clueless about the inconsistencies of their stated desires and their actual actions. You can't get through this book without having at least a half dozen epiphanies about how your actions are netting you your current reality.
What I think works is the consistency of a prescribed daily practice--a totally doable daily practice. It's not like the book is suggesting starting off with a daily two hour meditation practice like some spiritual programs do.
These practices went to the heart of things: they alternatively made me scream with frustration or cry with delight. Having spent 22 years in therapy of some sort or other I was astounded how much there was yet to learn about myself. Frankly, I was traveling for four of the seven weeks and I still managed to do it daily, but I know there were days when I accomplished the lessons with less than best effort.
The most successful way to do this book is in a small group to hold each other accountable. We were four in number; that's a nice round number. The result: one woman had moved in with a man (her "true" love) before the end of the program (but to be honest this woman could meet a suitable, available man on Mars); one woman met and dated and broke up with a potential mate; one of us--okay, me--decided I needed to go back into therapy to deal with my daddy issues; and the fourth lost 23 pounds and hooked up with half a dozen guys, but is no where nearer to finding what she's looking for because she stopped doing the work along the way. Life, in all its glory, interceded.
I would do this program again in a heartbeat. It is a book brimming with hard questions front loaded at the beginning to create a clean slate. It is only towards the end that you get to the sweet gooey layer of fun and delicious activities.
Other reviewers took exception to the "religious" overtones of the book. I was a third of the way into the book before I realized the author had been in Christian seminary. I assumed from her lack of reference to "Jesus" that she had been at a Yeshiva. What she did sling shamelessly was the afore-mentioned non-denominational language of The Big Book. Anybody who has done any kind of spiritual shopping, yoga, meditation, or any 12 Step meetings has been exposed to this form of spiritual-lite languaging, which was for the most part pretty innocuous. One reviewer was especially appalled at all the new age (and implied "putative") gurus quoted in it. Carl Jung, Mahatma Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Leo Tolstoy, Shakespeare, Socrates, Rilke, Matisse, Helen Keller, Nietzsche, Joseph Campbell and Rumi don't merit that kind of scorn in my book, but hey, different strokes...
As much as I wanted to dislike this book I loved it, and appreciated the psychotherapeutic subterfuge in it. Doing one lesson honestly will net you the price of the book. Doing two? Watch out for change!
---
An update a year later:
The woman in the group who met her "one true love" told me the other day, as she was driving back from a month long stay at a Mexican cancer treatment center (her one true love turns out to have cancer) that she thinks we should all go on Goodreads and give this book ZERO stars. I asked why....and she said, "Because nobody got what they wanted out of the program, and I just got a bigger headache." Turns out the guy she ended up with is sick, broke, unemployed, and incapable of having sex; the woman who met a partner last year didn't work out and a year later she's involved with a man who's unavailable; number three moved out of the area and left her job and is no closer to meeting the one than before and me? I'm back in therapy over my daddy issues, my father has died (and actually we're having the best relationship we ever had) and still, not a date in sight.
So, take it for what it's worth: this book may be fun and games, it may have profundities, but unless you are willing to do the work, and keep on doing it, it turns out not to be a life changer so much as a space waster that clogs your book shelf.
Want the truth? if you read this entire book and do all of its exercises with sincere effort your life will change. Period.
Actually despite the hand-wavey aspect to the whole "manifesting" phenomenon there is a lot of good science that suggests this type of program can create permanent and lasting change in ones habits.
The premise of this book is that through stringently honest personal inventory and focused work one can make small shifts in oneself to start attracting suitable love interests. We've all known those gals who say, "I want to meet a man who is available!" yet only date married men, right? This book is for them, and for the people (it's not just for women although the cover is a bit romance-heavy) who are twenty pounds overweight and are dreaming about meeting their soulmates as they chomp through yet another thirty romance novels. Whoops, that's me. The people, in other words who are pretty clueless about the inconsistencies of their stated desires and their actual actions. You can't get through this book without having at least a half dozen epiphanies about how your actions are netting you your current reality.
What I think works is the consistency of a prescribed daily practice--a totally doable daily practice. It's not like the book is suggesting starting off with a daily two hour meditation practice like some spiritual programs do.
These practices went to the heart of things: they alternatively made me scream with frustration or cry with delight. Having spent 22 years in therapy of some sort or other I was astounded how much there was yet to learn about myself. Frankly, I was traveling for four of the seven weeks and I still managed to do it daily, but I know there were days when I accomplished the lessons with less than best effort.
The most successful way to do this book is in a small group to hold each other accountable. We were four in number; that's a nice round number. The result: one woman had moved in with a man (her "true" love) before the end of the program (but to be honest this woman could meet a suitable, available man on Mars); one woman met and dated and broke up with a potential mate; one of us--okay, me--decided I needed to go back into therapy to deal with my daddy issues; and the fourth lost 23 pounds and hooked up with half a dozen guys, but is no where nearer to finding what she's looking for because she stopped doing the work along the way. Life, in all its glory, interceded.
I would do this program again in a heartbeat. It is a book brimming with hard questions front loaded at the beginning to create a clean slate. It is only towards the end that you get to the sweet gooey layer of fun and delicious activities.
Other reviewers took exception to the "religious" overtones of the book. I was a third of the way into the book before I realized the author had been in Christian seminary. I assumed from her lack of reference to "Jesus" that she had been at a Yeshiva. What she did sling shamelessly was the afore-mentioned non-denominational language of The Big Book. Anybody who has done any kind of spiritual shopping, yoga, meditation, or any 12 Step meetings has been exposed to this form of spiritual-lite languaging, which was for the most part pretty innocuous. One reviewer was especially appalled at all the new age (and implied "putative") gurus quoted in it. Carl Jung, Mahatma Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Leo Tolstoy, Shakespeare, Socrates, Rilke, Matisse, Helen Keller, Nietzsche, Joseph Campbell and Rumi don't merit that kind of scorn in my book, but hey, different strokes...
As much as I wanted to dislike this book I loved it, and appreciated the psychotherapeutic subterfuge in it. Doing one lesson honestly will net you the price of the book. Doing two? Watch out for change!
---
An update a year later:
The woman in the group who met her "one true love" told me the other day, as she was driving back from a month long stay at a Mexican cancer treatment center (her one true love turns out to have cancer) that she thinks we should all go on Goodreads and give this book ZERO stars. I asked why....and she said, "Because nobody got what they wanted out of the program, and I just got a bigger headache." Turns out the guy she ended up with is sick, broke, unemployed, and incapable of having sex; the woman who met a partner last year didn't work out and a year later she's involved with a man who's unavailable; number three moved out of the area and left her job and is no closer to meeting the one than before and me? I'm back in therapy over my daddy issues, my father has died (and actually we're having the best relationship we ever had) and still, not a date in sight.
So, take it for what it's worth: this book may be fun and games, it may have profundities, but unless you are willing to do the work, and keep on doing it, it turns out not to be a life changer so much as a space waster that clogs your book shelf.
August 13, 2014
My therapist recommended this book to me after I'd been seeing her for about 6 months, and I trusted her suggestion since we'd had a lot of success in our sessions together. Unfortunately, all this book has done is make me worry about whether I should be trusting my therapist's perspective.
I was hopeful that despite the terrible title, the text would be more sophisticated. Instead, every trite quote you can imagine made an appearance and I think I pulled a muscle with how hard I rolled my eyes in almost every chapter. More seriously, the encouragement of a mindset of "your soulmate is on his/her way" is extremely dangerous in my mind, and part of the reason I harbor a lot of resentment toward Christian courting culture.
The author has a serious lack of logic in what she professes as clear truth, turning instead to a mixed bag of self-help gurus, religious leaders and texts, energy healers, personal experience and feelings, universalism (think "The Secret"), and out-of-context author quotes to make her points. (It's a personal pet peeve of mine when people ask you to suspend agnosticism to try on their perspective, which relies entirely upon accepting and surrendering to a higher power.)
This book might provide the kind of self-awareness and reflection many people can't find on their own (through exercises that ultimately just repeat themselves), but I have a very difficult time putting much stock in it at all. For me, it bordered on intellectually offensive and spiritually immature. Save yourself some time and instead just practice deep breathing / meditation and see a well-trained psychotherapist.
I was hopeful that despite the terrible title, the text would be more sophisticated. Instead, every trite quote you can imagine made an appearance and I think I pulled a muscle with how hard I rolled my eyes in almost every chapter. More seriously, the encouragement of a mindset of "your soulmate is on his/her way" is extremely dangerous in my mind, and part of the reason I harbor a lot of resentment toward Christian courting culture.
The author has a serious lack of logic in what she professes as clear truth, turning instead to a mixed bag of self-help gurus, religious leaders and texts, energy healers, personal experience and feelings, universalism (think "The Secret"), and out-of-context author quotes to make her points. (It's a personal pet peeve of mine when people ask you to suspend agnosticism to try on their perspective, which relies entirely upon accepting and surrendering to a higher power.)
This book might provide the kind of self-awareness and reflection many people can't find on their own (through exercises that ultimately just repeat themselves), but I have a very difficult time putting much stock in it at all. For me, it bordered on intellectually offensive and spiritually immature. Save yourself some time and instead just practice deep breathing / meditation and see a well-trained psychotherapist.
October 27, 2020
A friend has been recommending this book to me for about four years now, but the title made me want to barf, so I kept ignoring her advice. Well, I guess I’m finally tired of being single, because I gave it another look. When I saw that it’s actually about healing your old issues and falling in love with yourself, not some bunch of voodoo to try to attract a man, I bought it. (I’m so done with books telling me what fake thing to do to attract a man. No, no, and no.)
I’m wrapping up week 3 right now, and man, this book is not for the faint of heart. The theme of this week has been healing old wounds. Even after years of therapy, this still helped me see some old stuff and the limiting beliefs I built around it, that I hadn’t ever recognized before. Healing and releasing this stuff is powerful (and exhausting and painful). I’m already seeing the small improvements start to add up in my life.
I really don’t like doing anything every single day without any days off, and this is definitely wearing on me. I so want a day off. But I’m afraid if I stop at all, I’ll just stop forever and never finish it, and it clearly is very valuable. Seven weeks still seems like a really long time, but it’s shorter than if I dragged it out! This week has really been brutal. I hear it gets easier after this; I hope so.
...
What a journey! This book asks a lot. I ended up spending two weeks on week three, between all the emotional upheaval and needing to recover. After that, I really didn’t want to go on, but I did anyway. I’m glad I did.
Working through this book brought so many old limiting beliefs and blocks to the surface to be healed and released! It’s not for the faint on heart, but it’s so worth it.
Some time around week 4, there was a day that talked about becoming the person who can be a match and partner to the kind of person you want. “Becoming the person who can ____” seems to be the most powerful motivation for me to transform. I threw myself into it, and as a result, I launched a new program in my business—and filled it! It was 10x the results I’ve ever gotten from any launch before. It’s official: this book has changed my life.
When I started, I thought I was already ready to meet my new man, but working through it has shown me just how ready I wasn’t. I was afraid of anything too good or successful, because I was convinced it would just be snatched away from me and I’d be worse off than if everything just sucked consistently. I was afraid of having much given to me because then much would be expected of me, and I thought I couldn’t handle it. And I was terrified that, if I fell in love again, I’d forget who I was, lose myself, lose all the spiritual growth progress I’ve made, and crash my business. Oh yeah, and the guy would die, too.
Yeah. It’s been a lot.
I’m actually signed up for a virtual retreat with the author next weekend. I’m so glad I signed up for that, because a) if there’s still more stuff in there holding me back, hopefully we’ll find it and clear it, and b) I’m not sure I would have finished this book at all if I wasn’t so determined to finish it before the live workshop.
Update: I finished this book and attended the virtual retreat in July. It’s now October. I’ve continued vigorously pursuing personal growth and becoming my best self. A few weeks ago, my man found me! It’s better than I even imagined. I thought this book was so stupid based on the title, but it’s worked, and so quickly!
Notes:
P. 60 “Realize that you are only resentful to the extent that you have given away your personal power. If you are in full possession of your personal power, you can afford to be generous when someone else is behaving poorly. It’s only when you don’t own your power fully that it shows up as resentment.”
P. 119
“We must turn our attention toward giving to ourselves the things that were missing in our past to heal our hearts of their inner poverty and deprivation. Then we I’ll no longer be drawn to those who wound us in the same way as our original caregivers.”
P. 150
“To begin relating to our lives according to the future that we are creating is something new entirely and takes some getting used to. When we are able to do it, however, we find that the need for suffering in our lives is greatly diminished. There’s a saying that I frequently quote, although I have no idea who said it first, ‘Pain pushes until vision pulls.’ Once we master living inside of a vision we are no longer confined to suffering as our main vehicle for personal growth. Rather than needing pain to push us, we grow. because we are inspired by a possibility—a possibility of who e could become if only we’d release this block and embrace that quality.”
P. 255 “We’ve allowed the fear of not getting what we want—of being hurt, rejected, disappointed, or abandoned—to dictate our actions, to stop us from taking risks in life, and to control our most intimate relationships.”
P. 303 “In truth, not forgiving yourself while being willing to forgive others is an act of arrogance. For it is a gesture that suggests that we think we should be above the human experience.”
P. 312 “As long as she didn’t ’try’ to meet him, she thought that she couldn’t be that disappointed when he didn’t show up.”
P. 313 “You want to learn how much someone has to give by watching how they show up in life. If they are consistent, do what they say they are going to do, are sensitive and considerate toward you and others; then you can open up more. If they tell you things like “I’m a commitment-phobe,” if they don’t keep their word or behave in ways that convey a disregard for your feelings and the feelings of others, then don’t open up.”
Pretty simple when she puts it that way!
P. 315 “There is a big difference between playing full out in life by taking a risk that may or may not pan out, and plowing straight ahead even though you know, in your heart, that what you are doing is a mistake.”
P. 318 “If you are fully engaged in being the absolute best that you can be, I guarantee you, you won’t choose an amoral, negative, and abusive person as your partner in life.”
P. 319 surrender!= passivity or giving up.
“This is the difference. Surrender is like floating on the water. You relax, allowing the water to fully carry your weight, knowing you are completely supported and that you are safe to let go. Resignation, on the other hand, is like sinking. You have a feeling of dread, knowing that you are not safe and that things are not OK. When you feel this way, try reminding yourself of the buoyancy and strength of the water to hold the entirety of your hopes and dreams and see if you can get yourself above it.”
I’m wrapping up week 3 right now, and man, this book is not for the faint of heart. The theme of this week has been healing old wounds. Even after years of therapy, this still helped me see some old stuff and the limiting beliefs I built around it, that I hadn’t ever recognized before. Healing and releasing this stuff is powerful (and exhausting and painful). I’m already seeing the small improvements start to add up in my life.
I really don’t like doing anything every single day without any days off, and this is definitely wearing on me. I so want a day off. But I’m afraid if I stop at all, I’ll just stop forever and never finish it, and it clearly is very valuable. Seven weeks still seems like a really long time, but it’s shorter than if I dragged it out! This week has really been brutal. I hear it gets easier after this; I hope so.
...
What a journey! This book asks a lot. I ended up spending two weeks on week three, between all the emotional upheaval and needing to recover. After that, I really didn’t want to go on, but I did anyway. I’m glad I did.
Working through this book brought so many old limiting beliefs and blocks to the surface to be healed and released! It’s not for the faint on heart, but it’s so worth it.
Some time around week 4, there was a day that talked about becoming the person who can be a match and partner to the kind of person you want. “Becoming the person who can ____” seems to be the most powerful motivation for me to transform. I threw myself into it, and as a result, I launched a new program in my business—and filled it! It was 10x the results I’ve ever gotten from any launch before. It’s official: this book has changed my life.
When I started, I thought I was already ready to meet my new man, but working through it has shown me just how ready I wasn’t. I was afraid of anything too good or successful, because I was convinced it would just be snatched away from me and I’d be worse off than if everything just sucked consistently. I was afraid of having much given to me because then much would be expected of me, and I thought I couldn’t handle it. And I was terrified that, if I fell in love again, I’d forget who I was, lose myself, lose all the spiritual growth progress I’ve made, and crash my business. Oh yeah, and the guy would die, too.
Yeah. It’s been a lot.
I’m actually signed up for a virtual retreat with the author next weekend. I’m so glad I signed up for that, because a) if there’s still more stuff in there holding me back, hopefully we’ll find it and clear it, and b) I’m not sure I would have finished this book at all if I wasn’t so determined to finish it before the live workshop.
Update: I finished this book and attended the virtual retreat in July. It’s now October. I’ve continued vigorously pursuing personal growth and becoming my best self. A few weeks ago, my man found me! It’s better than I even imagined. I thought this book was so stupid based on the title, but it’s worked, and so quickly!
Notes:
P. 60 “Realize that you are only resentful to the extent that you have given away your personal power. If you are in full possession of your personal power, you can afford to be generous when someone else is behaving poorly. It’s only when you don’t own your power fully that it shows up as resentment.”
P. 119
“We must turn our attention toward giving to ourselves the things that were missing in our past to heal our hearts of their inner poverty and deprivation. Then we I’ll no longer be drawn to those who wound us in the same way as our original caregivers.”
P. 150
“To begin relating to our lives according to the future that we are creating is something new entirely and takes some getting used to. When we are able to do it, however, we find that the need for suffering in our lives is greatly diminished. There’s a saying that I frequently quote, although I have no idea who said it first, ‘Pain pushes until vision pulls.’ Once we master living inside of a vision we are no longer confined to suffering as our main vehicle for personal growth. Rather than needing pain to push us, we grow. because we are inspired by a possibility—a possibility of who e could become if only we’d release this block and embrace that quality.”
P. 255 “We’ve allowed the fear of not getting what we want—of being hurt, rejected, disappointed, or abandoned—to dictate our actions, to stop us from taking risks in life, and to control our most intimate relationships.”
P. 303 “In truth, not forgiving yourself while being willing to forgive others is an act of arrogance. For it is a gesture that suggests that we think we should be above the human experience.”
P. 312 “As long as she didn’t ’try’ to meet him, she thought that she couldn’t be that disappointed when he didn’t show up.”
P. 313 “You want to learn how much someone has to give by watching how they show up in life. If they are consistent, do what they say they are going to do, are sensitive and considerate toward you and others; then you can open up more. If they tell you things like “I’m a commitment-phobe,” if they don’t keep their word or behave in ways that convey a disregard for your feelings and the feelings of others, then don’t open up.”
Pretty simple when she puts it that way!
P. 315 “There is a big difference between playing full out in life by taking a risk that may or may not pan out, and plowing straight ahead even though you know, in your heart, that what you are doing is a mistake.”
P. 318 “If you are fully engaged in being the absolute best that you can be, I guarantee you, you won’t choose an amoral, negative, and abusive person as your partner in life.”
P. 319 surrender!= passivity or giving up.
“This is the difference. Surrender is like floating on the water. You relax, allowing the water to fully carry your weight, knowing you are completely supported and that you are safe to let go. Resignation, on the other hand, is like sinking. You have a feeling of dread, knowing that you are not safe and that things are not OK. When you feel this way, try reminding yourself of the buoyancy and strength of the water to hold the entirety of your hopes and dreams and see if you can get yourself above it.”
September 3, 2016
Skeptical at first due to the long winded intro and disclaimers about the 'god/spirituality' references but am impressed by not only the practical guidance but the well-organized way the material is presented. Greatly helps examine one's life in a very honest but gentle way. Beautiful and inspiring outlook on becoming a better person and getting the most out of life. Highly recommended as a recharge for anyone depressed or in a funk - regardless of relationship status.
July 15, 2022
Ok- this book has been recommended to me several times throughout my life, and I finally read it. To sound extremely dramatic- this book fundamentally changed my views on dating/relationships and it’s been so nice to have some peace regarding that topic in my life. I looked forward to the daily lessons and miss them now that they’re gone.
Read
August 28, 2015It's been more like 4 months than 7 weeks, and I'm not trying to attract the love of my life but rather heal from a bad experience. A friend of mine and I are doing this program together, and it's a very eye-opening exploration of myself and prompting me to look into why I have attracted such problematic relationships in the past with the intention of working on loving myself enough to attract someone who will do the same, in the way that I want and need. It's about self-love and creating a space to allow for others in my life who will be as respectful of myself as I hope to be. The exercises are enlightening, as they prompt serious introspection. Reading this book has been beneficial whether or not I ever feel ready to consider having another partner. I recommend it.
May 5, 2019
Uodate 5/5/19 **** Re-read this a few times this year. Sooooo much gold here. Recommended to all who are either in relationships or aspire to be in one. Or if you would just like to deepen your own understanding of yourself.
Beautiful and important.
Katherine's work has helped me understand that a life of love is a noble and worthy life, and since discovering her, I have expanded my capacities to love and have developed myself into a more conscious, aware, and generous human being. Her teachings have helped my call in a wonderful, extraordinary relationship, and have led me to deepen my own sense of worth and value.
I recommend this book to anyone who aspires to live a life where love is as normal as breathing. It will arm you with the skills and tools necessary to navigate the world from the wisest parts of yourself, and to understand love as a 24/7 job that we must be present for at all times.
Beautiful and important.
Katherine's work has helped me understand that a life of love is a noble and worthy life, and since discovering her, I have expanded my capacities to love and have developed myself into a more conscious, aware, and generous human being. Her teachings have helped my call in a wonderful, extraordinary relationship, and have led me to deepen my own sense of worth and value.
I recommend this book to anyone who aspires to live a life where love is as normal as breathing. It will arm you with the skills and tools necessary to navigate the world from the wisest parts of yourself, and to understand love as a 24/7 job that we must be present for at all times.
June 16, 2008
Only one of the best books I've read about relationships EVER!
January 22, 2013
More a book about finding yourself than finding a man. Wonderful.
July 9, 2013
I got a signed copy by Katherine Woodward Thomas because she did a talk at my church. 9/16/07
I found her to be forthright, open and optimistic about "Being the person you'd like to find."
As a fellow author, I bought her book to support her. And I didn't expect to read the book. I was eternally single. But I picked up this book one rainy evening and the inspirational insights resonated with me--it didn't matter that I was not looking for a mate.
Within a year, I met the man I'll stay with for the rest of my life. It has been such a smooth romance into relationship; I had no idea I was capable of no-drama.
Coincidence? Read the book, beyoches!
I found her to be forthright, open and optimistic about "Being the person you'd like to find."
As a fellow author, I bought her book to support her. And I didn't expect to read the book. I was eternally single. But I picked up this book one rainy evening and the inspirational insights resonated with me--it didn't matter that I was not looking for a mate.
Within a year, I met the man I'll stay with for the rest of my life. It has been such a smooth romance into relationship; I had no idea I was capable of no-drama.
Coincidence? Read the book, beyoches!
January 22, 2012
I took much, much longer (years) to get through this workbook because I was living my life and sorting through many things. It guided me through illnesses, a wedding, unemployment, a career change, my best friend leaving my life, as well as getting very, very close to being with "The One". All of it necessary. This book is not for those unwilling to put in the work. I am happy to say the timing of my completing it is perfect. I'm setting on a new course in life that will keep me aligned with my purpose. I can't ask for more than that.
November 15, 2010
This book is changing my life! A friend sent it to me; I'm going through a divorce and am learning why my marriage didn't work: I brought my parents' marriage, expectations, and unfinished business along with me. More than learning how to be in a healthy relationship, I'm healing my past through writing, drawing, reflecting. Clearly the most helpful book I've read in a long time.
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October 30, 2021A therapist I had recommended this book to me. I haven’t done the exercises yet but a lot of the content is very helpful. Points are taken off for the God talk, heteronormativity, and quoting Woody Allen!
June 21, 2021
I don’t think I’ve ever read a book that made such an impact on me. مفيش حد في حياتي مؤخرًا غير لما رشحت له الكتاب بشدة وبعنف لدرجة ان صحابي بقوا بيحلفوا انهم خلاص خلاص هيقروه بس ابطل زن 😂
The title is highly misleading. It gives an impression that it only serves you to find a loved one. بس ثانكس جود الكتاب مش جو (كيف تصطادين عريسًا) . العنوان لما تقراه بتركيز تلاقيه بيتكلم عن fining the love of your life. It doesn’t refer to a particular form of love.
What made me pick up the book: مشاكلي في العلاقات الانسانية بجميع أنواعها أخي المواطن. After being let down by many in my life, I decided that as a book worm I should do/read/study something about it. I put my nerdy hat on and did an online search on the best books on the matter…created a list…filtered for the finalists…and surprise surprise this book kept coming up وأنا أقول ايه العك ده مش هتقرا انا كيف تصطادين عريسًا ومش ده أصلًا اللي بدور عليه, but then all the reviews here kept talking about how it’s not meant as a marriage recipe, but a journey of self-realization on how my relations are the way they are. Relations here refers to family, friends, loved ones,…etc.
The best thing about the book are the daily tasks. BRILLIANT …very well-designed. As a teacher, these are some of the best reflection tasks I’ve ever come across فيهم حاجات شطحات بس الواحد فينا كبير وممكن يفوت إللي مش عاجبه
What do I mean by saying reflection tasks? The book is actually a course. It should be done over the span of seven weeks. Every day, you read a lesson. The lesson is followed by a reflection task, a meditation, or a practice that would help you get the lesson through. I have to admit: some of those reflections almost broke my heart, but that’s ok…this is how reality is supposed to hit.
The true aim of the book: it helps you understand yourself and the way love is in your life. Why is it not being fulfilled? What’s in your past holding you back? What kind of personal beliefs or misconceptions are you holding dearly and are standing in the way. Love in the book is not a man. Love could be your life’s passion, your job, your friendships…أي حاجة يعني Personally, I’ve applied many of the reflections on many former dysfunctional relationships that were actually with friends, family, and colleagues.
This is a personal course of self discovery, do it whichever way works for your life فخليك بحبوح يا مواطن You’re a student not a follower
The title is highly misleading. It gives an impression that it only serves you to find a loved one. بس ثانكس جود الكتاب مش جو (كيف تصطادين عريسًا) . العنوان لما تقراه بتركيز تلاقيه بيتكلم عن fining the love of your life. It doesn’t refer to a particular form of love.
What made me pick up the book: مشاكلي في العلاقات الانسانية بجميع أنواعها أخي المواطن. After being let down by many in my life, I decided that as a book worm I should do/read/study something about it. I put my nerdy hat on and did an online search on the best books on the matter…created a list…filtered for the finalists…and surprise surprise this book kept coming up وأنا أقول ايه العك ده مش هتقرا انا كيف تصطادين عريسًا ومش ده أصلًا اللي بدور عليه, but then all the reviews here kept talking about how it’s not meant as a marriage recipe, but a journey of self-realization on how my relations are the way they are. Relations here refers to family, friends, loved ones,…etc.
The best thing about the book are the daily tasks. BRILLIANT …very well-designed. As a teacher, these are some of the best reflection tasks I’ve ever come across فيهم حاجات شطحات بس الواحد فينا كبير وممكن يفوت إللي مش عاجبه
What do I mean by saying reflection tasks? The book is actually a course. It should be done over the span of seven weeks. Every day, you read a lesson. The lesson is followed by a reflection task, a meditation, or a practice that would help you get the lesson through. I have to admit: some of those reflections almost broke my heart, but that’s ok…this is how reality is supposed to hit.
The true aim of the book: it helps you understand yourself and the way love is in your life. Why is it not being fulfilled? What’s in your past holding you back? What kind of personal beliefs or misconceptions are you holding dearly and are standing in the way. Love in the book is not a man. Love could be your life’s passion, your job, your friendships…أي حاجة يعني Personally, I’ve applied many of the reflections on many former dysfunctional relationships that were actually with friends, family, and colleagues.
This is a personal course of self discovery, do it whichever way works for your life فخليك بحبوح يا مواطن You’re a student not a follower
August 18, 2013
Even if you don't follow the exercises step by step, this book is a great tool for learning about yourself and identifying some of your past patterns that may have prevented you from finding what you long for - not only in relationships, but the principles discussed are valid for all areas of life. The basic premise is, don't look for the needle in the haystack, but become the magnet it. Before we go out to find love, we need to create space and the right conditions for love; as like attracts like, love can only come about if we first start with loving ourselves. This book is a true treasure, not because if we complete all the exercises we will get what we seek. This book, like anything else, is merely a tool, a key, and we still need to learn how to use it. Once you begin to really understand the issues dealth with in the book and see them in your own life, you will no longer need the exercises. :) ...but they are a great stepping stone to get you started and commit to something long enough to change old ways and patterns that have not served you well in the past.
March 27, 2018
I spent longer than the 7 weeks working through this book, mostly because I like to digest things, but also because I am often too busy to come back to it on a daily basis.
In this book you work through 49 assignments, using a journal of your own. You read the chapter and do the assignment at the end. I really enjoyed working through this book and right up to the end the assignments were just as profound and worthwhile as those at the beginning. There is a lot to learn from this book.
I am not single, I am married, but there are areas of my marriage I wish to improve upon and this booked helped me understand and heal issues I had/have surrounding love and being in a relationship. KWT takes you back to your childhood and helps you work through any wounds or problems arising from that time that are influencing your ability to find love and balance in any relationship. This books helps me work on myself and become a more 'whole' person, and be more open to having a loving, balanced relationship.
I would recommend it to anyone wanting to improve their love life.
In this book you work through 49 assignments, using a journal of your own. You read the chapter and do the assignment at the end. I really enjoyed working through this book and right up to the end the assignments were just as profound and worthwhile as those at the beginning. There is a lot to learn from this book.
I am not single, I am married, but there are areas of my marriage I wish to improve upon and this booked helped me understand and heal issues I had/have surrounding love and being in a relationship. KWT takes you back to your childhood and helps you work through any wounds or problems arising from that time that are influencing your ability to find love and balance in any relationship. This books helps me work on myself and become a more 'whole' person, and be more open to having a loving, balanced relationship.
I would recommend it to anyone wanting to improve their love life.
June 21, 2016
While the title and description seems bookish, the content is original and written in a easy to read style that I liked. It is more of a self help book than 'find your mate' book. And few things pointed in there are definitely revealing. This genre is filled with wannabe authors who write either very feminist books that seek to empower the female mind and play down the concept of companionship or are very old school. But I like Katherine's style - she is neither aggressive nor passive. If nothing else, I am sure it can help you look within and identify troubling patterns. The exercises (though I doubt anyone will do diligently) are small and handy. A lot of exercises made me smile because I could see how the author is intelligently and yet politely helping you break few of your barriers. I would recommend anyone - be it someone in a relationship or seeking one - to try it out. It gives you a healthy perspective on looking at relationships in general.
December 29, 2019
I've listened to this book ENDLESSLY since October 2019, and it's helping me to work through a lot of my ish. I love it because this book is more about cultivating self-love than it is about finding love outside of yourself. I love how each chapter is filled with wisdom, guidance, anecdotes, and quotes in addition to the activities that Thomas guides us through. I feel like a healthier, more wholesome person just listening to the book. I can't wait to read through it once more and actually do the activities week-by-week. So ready for my socks to be knocked off! Thanks, Ms. Thomas!
July 20, 2019
Amazing!!! The title should be “Calling in yourself “
This book does work beyond what I have done in therapy and in recovery work. It is truly therapeutic thorough and freeing
I feel it’s a must read for all NOT just women
HIGHLY recommend
This book does work beyond what I have done in therapy and in recovery work. It is truly therapeutic thorough and freeing
I feel it’s a must read for all NOT just women
HIGHLY recommend
April 16, 2025
ignoring the title and some of the language in this i genuinely found this to be such a useful book and i feel excited about life for myself in general! helpful to reflect and focus is on you which is nice, q supportive
so i finished this 15/08/23! will update when the one has been called in :))
so i finished this 15/08/23! will update when the one has been called in :))
October 9, 2012
This is THE book to help you change your life and find someone healthy for yourself... if you're interested in working on changing yourself, this is for you!
February 24, 2021
Don't judge this book by the title!! It is about self growth and recognizing what you are projecting into the universe and acknowledging what you deserve. Great program!
December 29, 2019
OK, I didn't always agree with the author's ideas about what was "male" energy and what was "female" energy... And the whole goal of finding "The One"... Sigh... Coming out of 21 years of trying to make that work in a marriage that is now over (well, as soon as the courts agree...)... It's not my goal now. My goal now is to be present moment with someone else all-in, honest, emotionally brave and kind. Maybe that turns into one special forever or maybe it is polyamory... I don't really care.
That being said, I do think a lot of what the author outlines regarding inner barriers that each of us (including myself) are probably building that keep great, loving people from finding and wanting to be with us, rings true. Work dismantling those inner barriers to love (see Rumi) is probably worth doing.
Although the pace she lays out of one task each day for 49 days... seems killer. Maybe some tasks it would be okay to take two days on.
That being said, I do think a lot of what the author outlines regarding inner barriers that each of us (including myself) are probably building that keep great, loving people from finding and wanting to be with us, rings true. Work dismantling those inner barriers to love (see Rumi) is probably worth doing.
Although the pace she lays out of one task each day for 49 days... seems killer. Maybe some tasks it would be okay to take two days on.
July 30, 2022
For me this book has been transformative. I have benefited from the introspective practices and meditations. I took my time to work through it, about a year and a half, rather than 7 weeks. I have recommended to several close friends and have seen their transformation as they have put in the work. The only thing I don’t like about the book is the title.
February 10, 2024
4.5 stars. This book gives me some insights of issues that could potentially hinder our prospect of finding love. For instance, the author highlighted the following:
- Not willing to take risk. To love is to risk. We cannot know how it would turn out, for the better or for the worst.
- Being inauthentic due to our fear of rejection.
- Fear of speaking our truth and secretly hoping the other party gets it. This causes passive aggressive behaviour which is detrimental to forming a good relationship.
- Not willing to be vulnerable and express our feelings.
- Still feeling resentments against your ex, your parents, etc over the traumas. We have to learn how to forgive.
- We must learn how to say no and maintain our boundaries.
- We should give, but giving should be an expression of love and should not be out of manipulation (ie. if I do this, he/she will like me).
- We should strive to be the best version of ourselves.
- We should never fear of being alone and instead, enjoy our solitude. This will give us courage to walk out of a relationship that’s not serving our highest good. Always keep the faith that you will meet someone better.
These are some learning points that I derive from this book, that I could recall out of my head. I enjoy reading the small anecdotes written by the author as well. They give me the opportunity to reflect.
Truth to be told, I am no longer young and am in my early 30s. Somehow, I feel that all the good men are already taken by this age. But the author gave a rather reassuring words of wisdom: “Contrary to popular opinion, all the good ones are not taken. They are, however, holding out for someone as fabulous as they are.”
To all people out there, I hope that you would continue to stay positive in your search for your right person. Your right person, who is equally as fabulous as you, is still holding out for you!
- Not willing to take risk. To love is to risk. We cannot know how it would turn out, for the better or for the worst.
- Being inauthentic due to our fear of rejection.
- Fear of speaking our truth and secretly hoping the other party gets it. This causes passive aggressive behaviour which is detrimental to forming a good relationship.
- Not willing to be vulnerable and express our feelings.
- Still feeling resentments against your ex, your parents, etc over the traumas. We have to learn how to forgive.
- We must learn how to say no and maintain our boundaries.
- We should give, but giving should be an expression of love and should not be out of manipulation (ie. if I do this, he/she will like me).
- We should strive to be the best version of ourselves.
- We should never fear of being alone and instead, enjoy our solitude. This will give us courage to walk out of a relationship that’s not serving our highest good. Always keep the faith that you will meet someone better.
These are some learning points that I derive from this book, that I could recall out of my head. I enjoy reading the small anecdotes written by the author as well. They give me the opportunity to reflect.
Truth to be told, I am no longer young and am in my early 30s. Somehow, I feel that all the good men are already taken by this age. But the author gave a rather reassuring words of wisdom: “Contrary to popular opinion, all the good ones are not taken. They are, however, holding out for someone as fabulous as they are.”
To all people out there, I hope that you would continue to stay positive in your search for your right person. Your right person, who is equally as fabulous as you, is still holding out for you!
November 17, 2019
Deep soul and heart work here. Definitely gained some insight into how I think, love, operate. This book allowed me to recognize areas for growth and move into that growth space to do the work that comes with maturing. When you know better, you do better (Maya Angelou).
January 17, 2021
Fantastic book! I actually hate the title since I would recommend this book to anyone that wants a more fulfilling and happy life. Would give to many friends and loved ones as the lessons taught and the exercises are life changing and urgent for all of us.
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