Angel Esquire is a novel by Edgar Wallace published in 1908. Edgar Wallace wrote a lot. I bought an e-book called "The Complete Works of Edgar Wallace" or something like that, mostly because I get tired of looking for his books and I love his books. I'd love them a little better if I could hold them in my hands and turn the pages, but I'll take them this strange e-book way for now. Anyway, this complete works I now have goes on and on and on. So I counted for a while wondering how much there is to read, then I got tired of counting so just looked it up on the internet which says:
Wallace was such a prolific writer that one of his publishers claimed that a quarter of all books in England were written by him. As well as journalism, Wallace wrote screen plays, poetry, historical non-fiction, 18 stage plays, 957 short stories, and over 170 novels, 12 in 1929 alone. More than 160 films have been made of Wallace's work. He is remembered for the creation of King Kong, as a writer of 'the colonial imagination', for the J. G. Reeder detective stories, and for The Green Archer serial. He sold over 50 million copies of his combined works in various editions, and The Economist describes him as "one of the most prolific thriller writers of [the 20th] century", although few of his books are still in print in the UK.
How can anyone write 170 novels plus all that other stuff? So I figured the only way it could happen is if you lived a long, long time, but I'm wrong, he was 56 years old when he died. I can't imagine he got much done other than writing. I wonder if his hand was extremely painful after awhile. Oh, I just found the answer to that one:
Wallace narrated his words onto wax cylinders (the dictaphones of the day) and his secretaries typed up the text. This may be why he was able to work at such high speed and why his stories have narrative drive. Many of Wallace's critically successful books were dictated like this over two or three days, locked away with cartons of cigarettes and endless pots of sweet tea, often working pretty much uninterrupted in 72 hours. Most of his novels were serialised in segments but written in this way. The serialised stories that were instead written piecemeal have a distinctly different narrative energy, not sweeping up the reader on the story wave. Wallace rarely edited his own work after it was dictated and typed up, but sent it straight to the publishers, intensely disliking the revision of his work with other editors. The company would do only cursory checks for factual errors before printing. Wallace faced widespread accusations that he used ghost writers to churn out books, though there is no evidence of this, and his prolificness became something of a joke, the subject of cartoons and sketches. His 'three day books', reeled off to keep the loan sharks from the door, were unlikely to garner great critical praise and Wallace claimed not to find literary value in his own works.
I wonder if it was hard to just say his words and not write them down, I don't think I could ever remember what I was "writing" without at least notes. And as for not having literary value, I don't know about that, but I have fun reading them. Then there is this:
Q. D. Leavis, Arnold Bennett and Dorothy L Sayers led the attack on Wallace, suggesting he offered no social critique or subversive agenda at all and distracting the reading public from better things. Trotsky, reading a Wallace novel whilst recuperating on his sickbed in 1935, found it to be "mediocre, contemptible and crude... [with no] shade of perception, talent or imagination." Critics Steinbrunner and Penzler stated that Wallace's writing is "slapdash and cliché-ridden, [with] characterization that is two dimensional and situations [that] are frequently trite, relying on intuition, coincidence, and much pointless, confusing movement to convey a sense of action. The heroes and villains are clearly labelled, and stock characters, humorous servants, baffled policemen, breathless heroines, could be interchanged from one book to another."
My word people, leave the guy alone. Remember that, "if you can't say something nice" thing I was told when I was young? I guess not everyone learned the same thing, they sound like a bunch of politicians. The guy died with massive debts owing large amounts of money to racing bookies, maybe that will make all the Edgar Wallace bashers feel better. If they were still alive anyway. It also says that his wife outlived him by only 14 months. I guess that way at least she didn't have to pay all that money back.
In my copy of the book, I guess it is still called a copy when there isn't a book with paper pages any where near me right now, my copy starts with this:
TABLE OF CONTENTS
ANGEL, ESQUIRE
I. The Yellow Box
II. The Silver Charm
III. A Case for Angel, Equire
ANGEL, ESQUIRE — THE NOVEL
Why we had two chapters 1, 2, and 3 I didn't know until I read the first one and found it was a short story, that's what all three of them are. The first story tells us why he is called Angel in the first place:
WHEN Christopher Angle went to school he was very naturally called "Angel" by his fellows. When, in after life, he established a reputation for tact, geniality, and a remarkable equability, of temper, he became "Angel, Esquire," and, as Angel Esquire, he went through the greater portion of his adventurous life, so that on the coast and in the islands and in the wild lands that lie beyond the It'uri Forest, where Mr C. Angle is unknown, the remembrance of Angel, Esquire, is kept perennially green.
And Angel is what we know him as all through three short stories and one novel. I had forgotten what his name was until I looked for it again a few minutes ago. Another thing we don't know about Angel is just what he does. For that, there is this:
In what department of the Government he was before he took up a permanent suite of rooms at New Scotland Yard it is difficult to say. All that is known is that when the "scientific expedition" of Dr Kauffhaus penetrated to the head waters of the Kasakasa River, Angel Esquire, was in the neighbourhood shooting elephants. A native messenger en route to the nearest post, carrying a newly-ratified treaty, counter-signed by the native chief, can vouch for Angel's presence, because Angel's men fell upon him and beat him, and Angel took the newly-sealed letter and calmly tore it up.
When, too, yet another "scientific expedition," was engaged in making elaborate soundings in a neutral port in the Pacific, it was his steam launch that accidentally upset the boat of the men of science, and many invaluable instruments and drawings were irretrievably lost in the deeps of the rocky inlet. Following, however, upon some outrageous international incident, no less than the—but perhaps it would be wiser not to say—Angel was transferred bodily to Scotland Yard, undisguisedly a detective, and was placed in charge of the Colonial Department, which deals with all matters in those countries—British or otherwise—where the temperature rises above 103 degrees Fahrenheit.
Then we have from the novel:
Nobody quite knows how Angel Esquire came to occupy the position he does at Scotland Yard. On his appointment, "An Officer of Twenty Years' Standing" wrote to the Police Review and characterized the whole thing as "a job."
Probably it was. For Angel Esquire had been many things in his short but useful career, but never a policeman. He had been a big game shot, a special correspondent, a "scratch" magistrate, and his nearest approach to occupying a responsible position in any police force in the world was when he was appointed a J.P. of Rhodesia, and, serving on the Tuli Commission, he hanged M'Linchwe and six of that black desperado's companions.
If the truth be told, nobody quite knew exactly what position Angel did hold.
If you turn into New Scotland Yard and ask the janitor at the door for Mr. Christopher Angel—Angel Esquire by the way was a nickname affixed by a pert little girl—the constable, having satisfied himself as to your bona fides, would take you up a flight of stairs and hand you over to yet another officer, who would conduct you through innumerable swing doors, and along uncounted corridors till he stopped before a portal inscribed "647." Within, you would find Angel Esquire sitting at his desk, doing nothing, with the aid of a Sporting Life and a small weekly guide to the Turf.
Once Mr. Commissioner himself walked into the room unannounced, and found Angel so immersed in an elaborate calculation, with big sheets of paper closely filled with figures, and open books on either hand, that he did not hear his visitor.
"What is the problem?" asked Mr. Commissioner, and Angel looked up with his sweetest smile, and recognizing his visitor, rose.
"What's the problem?" asked Mr. Commissioner again.
"A serious flaw, sir," said Angel, with all gravity. "Here's Mimosa handicapped at seven stone nine in the Friary Nursery, when, according to my calculations, she can give the field a stone, and beat any one of 'em."
So there is our hero Angel, the man who solves all the cases, both the first three in the short stories, and then in the novel. In our first story we have a woman contact Angel about her husband who has been acting strangely ever since he came home from the Congo, where he had been to report on alluvial gold discoveries, whatever they are. Here is some of the story:
"He wrote by every mail, and even sent natives in their canoes hundreds of miles to connect with the mail steamers, and his letters were bright and full of particulars about the country and the people. Then, quite suddenly, they changed. From being the cheery, long letters they had been, they became almost notes, telling me just the bare facts of his movements. They worried me a little, because I thought it meant that he was ill, had fever, and did not want me to know."
"And had he?"
"No. A man who was with him said he was never once down with fever. Well, I cabled to him, but cabling to the Congo is a heart-breaking business, and there was fourteen days' delay on the wire."
"Then, before my cable could reach him, I received a brief telegram from him saying he was coming home."
"There was a weary month of waiting, and then he arrived. I went to Southampton to meet him."
"He met me on the deck, and I shall never forget the look of agony in his eyes when he saw me. It struck me dumb. 'What is the matter, Jack?' I asked. 'Nothing,' he said, in, oh, such a listless, hopeless way. I could get nothing from him. Almost as soon as he got home he went to his room and locked the door.".......
"And what has happened since?"
"Nothing; except that he has got steadily more and more depressed, and—and—"
"He gets letters—letters that he goes to the door to meet. Sometimes they make him worse, sometimes he gets almost cheerful after they arrive; but he had his worst bout after the arrival of the box."
"What box?"
"It came whilst I was dressing for dinner one night. All that afternoon he had been unusually restless, running down from his room at every ring of the bell. I caught a glance of it through his half-opened door."
Then an unearthly chattering and screeching met their ears, and the girl turned pale.
"Oh, I had forgotten the most unpleasant thing—the monkey!" she said, and beckoned him from the room. He passed through the house to the garden at the back. Well sheltered from the road was a big iron cage, wherein sat a tiny Congo monkey, shivering in the chill spring air, and drawing about his hairy shoulders the torn half of a blanket.
"My husband brought one home with him," she said, "but it died. This is the fifth monkey we have had in a month, and he, poor beastie, does not look as if he were long for life."
Angel knows what is wrong with her husband. He also knows, in the second story, why the ships of Sir Peter Saintsbury continue to have "bad luck", three of them wrecking in the past year. And he is the one who discovers who it was that robbed the bank at Notting Hill Gate. It had to be the clerk since he was the only one with the chance of doing such as thing, but:
'He was carefully searched, but no money was on him when he was found. He had been seen enterin' the little street. One of the bank clerks, who happened to leave the bank at the same time, had walked with him to the entrance of the street, an' nobody had been seen to leave at either end before he was discovered. If he'd stolen 'em himself—what had happened to the banknotes? He couldn't bury 'em. There was no place in the street itself where they could have been hidden—you may be sure that we searched every possible hidin' place—an' the police were forced to believe that his story was true.
But, on to the novel. The story begins with MR. WILLIAM SPEDDING, of the firm of Spedding, Mortimer and Larach, Solicitors. Keep him in mind, it matters. Mr. Spedding has bought the property on Lombard Street for one of his clients. Here is Mr. Spedding talking with the contractor:
"My client requires the very best work; he desires a building that will stand shocks." Mr. Spedding shot a swift glance at the contractor, who sat at the other side of the desk. "Something that a footling little dynamite explosion would not scatter to the four winds."
"It seems all very clear," said the great builder. He took a bundle of papers from an open bag by his side and read, "The foundation to be of concrete to the depth of twenty feet... The pedestal to be alternate layers of dressed granite and steel... in the centre a steel-lined compartment, ten inches by five, and half the depth of the pedestal itself."
The solicitor inclined his head. "That pedestal is to be the most important thing in the whole structure. The steel-lined recess—I don't know the technical phrase—which one of these days your men will have to fill in, is the second most important; but the safe that is to stand fifty feet above the floor of the building is to be—but the safe is arranged for."
And the work begins on the new building, the safe, secure building with a mysterious pedestal:
So in rain and sunshine, by day and by night, the New Safe Deposit came into existence. Once—it was during a night shift—a brougham drove up the deserted city street, and a footman helped from the dark interior of the carriage a shivering old man with a white, drawn face. He showed a written order to the foreman, and was allowed inside the unpainted gate of the "works." He walked gingerly amidst the debris of construction, asked no questions, made no replies to the explanations of the bewildered foreman, who wondered what fascination there was in a building job to bring an old man from his bed at three o'clock on a chill spring morning.
Only once the old man spoke. "Where will that there pedestal be?" he asked in a harsh, cracked cockney voice; and when the foreman pointed out the spot, and the men even then busily filling in the foundation, the old man's lips curled back in an ugly smile that showed teeth too white and regular for a man of his age.
The next chapter we have a man coming to visit this client of Mr. Spedding's. To do so isn't the easiest thing to do though, first he has to jump over two wires that are across the front door and I can't remember what they did, then there is a rug with a hole under it, so to step on it means you would have found yourself in the basement, he makes it past this. At the top of the stairs he finds a suite of armor holding an ax, which falls down toward him when he trips over that wire.
Finally he makes it into the room of an old man with a cracked old voice sitting in a big chair by the fire. Our old man is Mr. Reale, a very wealthy, very strange, old man, he's the guy who built the pedestal house. He also isn't a very nice man. Our visitor is Jimmy, and this part is pretty much what the rest of the book is about:
The pair sat on opposite sides of the fireplace, neither speaking for fully ten minutes; then Jimmy leant forward.
"Reale," he said quietly, "how much are you worth?"
In no manner disturbed by this leading question, but rather indicating a lively satisfaction, the other replied instantly: "Two millions an' a bit over, Jimmy. I've got the figures in my head. Reckonin' furniture and the things in this house at their proper value, two millions, and forty-seven thousand and forty-three pounds—floatin', Jimmy, absolute cash, the same as you might put your hand in your pocket an' spend—a million an' three—quarters exact."
"A million and three-quarters," he repeated calmly, "is a lot of money."
"All made out of the confiding public, with the aid of me—and Connor and Massey-"
Jimmy puffed a cloud of tobacco smoke. "Wrung with sweat and sorrow from foolish young men who backed the tiger and played high at Reale's Unrivalled Temple of Chance, Cairo, Egypt—with branches at Alexandria, Port Said, and Suez."
"How many men have you ruined, Reale?" asked Jimmy.
"The Lord knows," the old man answered cheerfully; "only three as I knows of—two of 'em's dead, one of 'em's dying. The two that's dead left neither chick nor child; the dying one's got a daughter."
In this book we have Massey, who is a bad guy, Conner, who is also a bad guy, and Jimmy, I'm not sure what he is. They all worked for Old Reale, they all helped him cheat people out of their money with some fixed gambling machines of his that I don't understand. He tells them that in his will they will get his money, them and a young lady, Kathleen Kent, she's the girl who's father was ruined by them. So they will share his money, well Massey won't he'll be dead in a few minutes.
"There's a puzzle about these two millions," Reale went on, and his croaky voice, with its harsh cockney accent, grew raucous in his enjoyment of Massey's perplexity and Jimmy's knit brows. "An' the one that finds the puzzle out, gets the money."
This doesn't please Massey at all, it doesn't seem like he would be the best person to play a game with, and the chapter ends with this:
Half an hour later Jimmy left the house with a soiled slip of paper in his waistcoat pocket, on which was written the most precious verse of doggerel that the world has known. And the discovery of the two dead men in the upper chambers the next morning afforded the evening press the sensation of the year.
Angel gets to enter the story right about here, for he knows of Reale. Oh, and Angel knows Jimmy and Conner too. And all the other bad guys those two know. Angel knows just about everybody in the book. He doesn't know the solution to the puzzle though, neither does Jimmy or Conner or Kathleen when she enters the book. Here is the "puzzle" given to Kathleen:
"Here's a puzzle in language old, Find my meaning and get my gold. Take one Bolt—just one, no more—Fix it on behind a Door. Place it at a river's Mouth East or west or north or south. Take some Leaves and put them whole In some water in a Bowl. I found this puzzle in a book From which some mighty truths were took."
She read again and yet again, the others watching her. With every reading she seemed to get further from the solution of the mystery, and she turned in despair to Angel.
"I can make nothing of it," she cried helplessly, "nothing, nothing, nothing."
If you can make anything of it, you can collect the fortune. I won't be collecting any fortunes, I will be moving on to the next book though, I found this one fun to read, but it wasn't my favorite Wallace book, although it wasn't as bad as some people seemed to think it was. Happy reading.