Vivek and I

by Mayur Patel

A brokenhearted Kaushik arrives in Valai leaving his disturbing past behind. He falls in love with Vivek but this rush of love is not without its dilemmas. As his love becomes an obsession, life turns into a game of manipulation for Kaushik.

378 pages, Paperback

First published December 8, 2010

About the author

Mayur Patel has studied Civil Engineering. He has worked as a civil engineer and an Interior Designer. He was a part of an orchestra as a singer some years back. At present he works in a Newspaper as a sub-editor.
His first book ‘Vivek and I’ was a work of romance and was published by Penguin Books India. He writes Novels, Short Stories and Columns in Gujarati, too.
Besides writing, he enjoys a wide variety of activities like reading, gardening, singing, watching movies and playing badminton. Travelling is an addiction which enables him to bring life to his writing.
The author lives in Valsad, India with his family. He can be contacted at markmayur@gmail.com.

Reviews

[Mayur Patel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Besides the fact that I share a similar name with the author, what tempted me to buy this book was the enticing cover. The plot and portrayal of the characters turns out to be über amazing, so very real,and totally authentic. Particularly, Kaushik was dealt in such a magnificent way and then there was this bewitching transformation of his! The story had such a strong déjà vu factor for me that I was almost reliving n day-dreaming my life all through the novel. Thanks to the author for bringing along such beautiful story and lovable characters, that I cud cherish for eternity.

[Md Pasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn't hoping the best from this novel, the moment I got to know that the Protagonist is 26 and his object of desire a 16yrs old student - though in th later part of the books, the author seems confused to have miscalculated the age or presented them thinking the readers might have forgotten it.
I only read for I wanted to know what happens to Kaushik and I wasn't pleased. It did not give me a satisfying ending, yes True his cause of change at the end was a noble one, but did it really have to be that way?
I mean you had Vivek sent to Rajkot and they spoke for so long - you know what I mean?

Personally, I felt the book reflected in self loathing a lot. True what happened to Kaushik was more than the word "bad". But, thinking that he was not well enough to deserve people he loved or did not make him man enough cause he is gay? The author needs to get his shit together.

There were parts that you could relate to. Yes, being envious, jealous, attracted but then moving on was alll so relatable, but it was all that just relatable. It did not serve any purpose for the story over-all. I did not feel that Kaushik had any development throughout. His "pining" for love lead him to another and in the end another. And it left the reader such as me wondering if it was all worth it?

True - it gave some insight, after me personally being in a shitty mood, but I still feel it was not right at all for Kaushik to self loathe himself so much throughout the book.
The blurb makes you feel, it might turn into a scandal and blackmail, but duh!

I need to read something lighter after this precarious, isolating, demeaning story!

Batman!!!! Here I come!

[Liam Ostermann · Rating 1 out of 5]

Back in 2018 I made a note that 'I didn't get into the book, read bits of it, but lost interest'. Now in 2025 I can remember nothing more - I certainly won't be reading it again.

[Smita Beohar · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kaushik, a teacher by profession takes up a job in a local school of a sleepy town called Valai in Gujarat. Trying to come to terms with a broken heart, he feels that there could no place better than this small town to nurse himself to normalcy. What he had not bargained for were nosey people,
small town gossip, a colleague falling for him & last but not the least falling in love again. Falling in love again and that too with his own student, Vivek, Kaushik faces a dilemma. He is not sure how Vivek, who in all probability is straight, take his confession in case he decides to make one. He is scared that in the process he might lose on the lovely friendship that has developed between them. He has become a mentor, a role model & a support system for Vivek and he cannot fathom to lose to that trust. To add to his woes the thoughts of Krishna (his ex) do not leave him. While he is struggling with the demons from his past & present, a colleague, a female teacher falls in love with
Kaushik and is not ready to accept his rejection. He loves her friendship but cannot come out in open because he feels that Valai is too small a town to accept the fact that he is gay. What will Kaushik do?
Will he confess his love to Vivek & risk his friendship?
Or will better instincts prevail and he would let it be?
If yes then can he bear the budding romance Vivek feels towards a classmate of his?
Or will jealousy override his emotions?
Will he ever let go of what happened between him & Krishna? Read the book to know more. My Verdict I have read a book on lesbian relationship (Manju Kapur’s A Married Woman) but this is a first Gay romance that I have read and to be honest I took some time to get adjusted to the whole premises of a guy lusting for a guy. No, I have nothing against a gay or lesbian relationship. I have been an advocate of each to its own but reading about it is a little more than just talking about an issue. Initial hiccups aside the book becomes a worthy read and handles a sensitive issue with a maturity which is commendable. I am sure somebody who feels the way the protagonist feel will relate to the book. The writing is lucid and the way the book moves from present to past to reach to a conclusion is very good. There is no urgency to conclude the book and it works in its favour. Recently I have read so many books which are in such a tearing hurry that no time is spent on characterisation and that is why the change is a welcome relief. You start feeling for the characters and their happiness & sorrow begin to matter to you. The other thing that I loved was the setting of the book, the way the author has described the small town makes you yearn to live in one. I specially loved the rainy setup of the book. My only issue with the book was that the protagonist keeps on devising ways to win over his love but towards the end when he let goes and decides to choose a path that will give him peace it happens a bit to suddenly. When the reader has a feeling that how will the author wrap it all up a solution springs suddenly. But otherwise it is a nice, peaceful book. It shows a small town life in a nice way and handles a taboo topic quite respectfully and the fact that the proatgonist is gay is just another thing in the book, no major ho hallah has been made around it. All in all a book which leaves you tranquil in a way. A good read. A love story with a difference is how I will describe this book! My Rating 3.5/5

[JOSEPH OLIVER · Rating 3 out of 5]

The plot is told entirely from the point of view of Kaushik, a late 20's upper middle class Indian man who is exposed as a gay man following a relationship with Krishna, a fellow student at college. The relationship was very one sided with Kaushik really involved and desperately in love with Krishna despite the difference in social class and intelligence. He suspects Krishna is only interested in the sex and it turns out he's right - he just didn't want to admit it. Krishna destroys Kaushik's plans for the relationship (which were all one sided) and accepts an arranged marriage. The marriage works out very well in the end much to Kaushik's annoyance.
Still he holds Krishna as his first love and never forgets him. He becomes a teacher much to his family's regret and moves to a small rural town to teach just to clear his head. While at the school he falls again hopelessly in love with Vivek, a 16 year old student who turns out to be quite similar to Krishna - except he isn't gay. Everything the boy does or says is filtered through a gay prism in that Kaushik desperately searches for any sign or word that would show that Vivek is gay and would respond to any overtures Kaushik would make. Nothing is forthcoming but it doesn't stop him trying and hoping and working on Vivek. Just like Krishna, but without any physical involvement, Vivek announces his marriage after a few years and is perfectly happy. All the emotional turmoil existed only in Kaushik's head.

The book is very well written and there is a host of minor characters both teaching in the school or living near the school accommodation. Again we only see them in relation to Kaushik. Ironically Kaushik gets a taste of his own medicine when a teacher with whom he is very friendly and has quite a happy platonic relationship reveals her love for him - and wrecks everything. The irony is not lost on Kaushik.

We are presented with a view of life in a small town village in India with the ubiquitous `conservative' morals which really restrict the lives of all concerned. Village life is not too heavily portrayed but merely as a background to Kaushik and Vivek's friendship. The book is very honest I found although the narrator could have toned down his narcissism a bit as he refers to his looks on every second page - not that he's vain mind you but to show you that he could attract any woman he wanted to if he set his mind to it.

Vivek's leaving for a job in a far off town to support his family shatters him and it takes a long time for him to realise that the two main loves of his life have all been one sided - one physical and the other emotional. I won't reveal the outcome of the realisation.

Well worth a read - if only to understand the restraints on any gay relationship in India and the emotional journey of a young man trying to live the impossible - a one sided relationship.

[Sudama Panigrahi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Vivek and I: A reader’s perspective

We’ve had a lot of discussion on Gay love and many more discussions are slated before it becomes something socially accepted relationship. But it existed, it exists and will exist: a fact beyond doubt.
We can make rules, change according to time but society has its own speed and own background rules to accept any changes. Some changes pick up soon while some do not take off or become tardy.
‘Vivek and I’....is a novel by Mayur Patel and the author has successfully depicted the craving in the heart of man for man. He’s shown the facets beautifully with simple words and anecdotes.
The format of presentation is also marvellous that resembles with “Have a fine weekend” by Ian Ellis. Present...Past...Present. It’s a swing between the time that has gone and that is on. And I must say, the writer has done a brilliant job.
Only one character Kaushik...being the narrator has steered the concept in a marvellous way. We come to know about Krishna and Vivek, the lovers of Kaushik, how he loved them, craved them and how he lost them.
The writer has also created the character Vidya, and showed the real man-woman relationship.
The writer is clever enough not to show acceptance to Gay relationship but finally crushed the craving in a beautiful way as Kaushik relieves himself from the craving of Krishna and Vivek. He in a way, has left the issue of acceptance to the time.

The writer also shows husband-wife relationship, strained relation of father with son, motherly love while propelling the concept. And these make novel more interesting.

If this is any indication, then many more such novels, we’ll find to read. Kudos to Mayur Patel.

Speaking from the craft point of view, it’s a telling novel. The pace is slow but still enjoying. The characters are lively and can be related easily.

I’d like to recommend the novel.

[Sankhadeep Ghosh · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a good book. but anyhow it can not make me satisfy at last. but for one line I'll remember this book : One can not be a lover and wise at the same time. but as I'm also gay I can say one thing : protrail of kaushik is good enough but in some places his feelings for Vidya was not gaylike.when he attrakted towards vidya's wet body and thinks if he was not gay than definitly he would marry her ....but the overall spread of the story is vry realistic. it make me cry when Kaushik seeks his answars from Krishna. it actually happen.

[Ben Calvert · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hard work and repetitive. Over 377 slow pages the books goes on and on with little to entice the reader to turn the page. Interesting subject-matter and vividly descriptive images of India, but there's very little in the way of story.

[Arohi Parikh · Rating 5 out of 5]

an overwhelmingly beautiful story set in the primitive region of India. detailed neatly. loaded with emotions. a very well written novel indeed. highly recommended to those who like unique stuff.