Hesitation Kills: A Female Marine Officer's Combat Experience in Iraq

by Jane Blair

This riveting memoir is the first book written by a female Marine about the war in Iraq and one of the only books written by a woman who has experienced combat firsthand. Deploying to Iraq in 2003, Jane Blair's aerial reconnaissance unit was assigned to travel ahead of and alongside combat units throughout the initial phase of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Throughout her deployment, Jane kept a journal of her and her fellow lieutenants' combat experiences, which she draws on to convey the immediacy of life in the military, not just for a woman but for all Marines.
     Jane's stories highlight the drama and chaos of wartime Iraq along with the day-to-day challenges every Marine faced: from spicing up a "pasta with alfredo sauce" military ration to trying to stay clean after weeks without a shower. She also copes with a bullying superior officer while trying to connect with local civilians who have long been viewed as "the enemy." She recounts the struggles specific to women, including learning how to be respected as a Marine rather than dismissed as "the weaker sex" and learns strategies from other officers in her unit how to effectively battle the prejudices of male Marines who don't believe women belong in uniform. And always, she fights the personal loneliness of being separated from her husband, balanced with the challenge and joy of stealing a private moment with him when, by chance, his unit is nearby.
     Jane describes not only her experiences as a young lieutenant and as a woman but also those of her fellow Marines, whom she lauds as the true heroes of her story. Ultimately, she learns from her commanding officer, and her fellows in arms, what it truly means to be a leader, both in the military and in life. Weaving her story together with the experiences of the ordinary people of Iraq, this book offers compelling insights into the profound impact of the war on the lives of service members and civilians alike.  Jane also weaves in the narrative her impressions of the Iraqis and draws the reader in to her changed perceptions and growing understanding of Muslims and Iraqis as a whole. Her unforgettable narrative bridges the gap between those who have experienced the Iraq War firsthand and those in America who could only follow its life-altering events from a distance.

Genres: Military Fiction, War, Memoir, Nonfiction, Leadership, History, Autobiography

296 pages, Hardcover

First published June 16, 2011

Reviews

[Jackie · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I returned to America and to a place that I no longer knew. I felt like I stepped into a culture where I had no commonality and no interest...I didn't want to talk to anyone. Conversations with old friends focused on trivial problems in their own lives, and I found it hard to care. I wanted only to stay home and listen quietly to the sound of rain or read a book."

THIS QUOTE. There were so many quotes in this book that I could relate to as a female Marine veteran, and as a someone who served in the Middle East. I am glad to see a woman's narrative added to the Commandant's Reading List, and I am glad to have picked it up. I read 100 pages just today...I really should read more memoirs.
I have a lot of good things to say about this book, but one thing that bothered me throughout was the fact that there didn't seem to be a good enough editing process. I found several typos and it bothered me, personally.

"All that have gone to war have asked themselves what decisions brought them there. Why were they in that places at that time, risking their lives? To know that life hangs on the edge of not years, but a precise moment, makes those minutes more memorable, more valuable. To know one is standing in the middle of a killing field between life and death invigorates the mind and body."

[Chris]

I made it just past page 100 and stopped reading. Don't know if its just my mood, the fact that one of my friends just deployed to Afghanistan, or that there are multiple snipes against fat, lazy, uncaring Americans, but I lost interest. As a woman who served in the Marines, I was really looking forward to this book. Perhaps I'll give it a try again in the future.

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was interesting to read this firsthand field officer view of the war immediately after reading Tommy Frank's high level war strategy biography. Unlike Franks' bio, I had difficulty putting this book down. The author was rarely self-serving - something I can't quite say about Franks.

My favorite part (p.18): "I joined the Corps because I recognized that I was weak and that my life to date had consisted of nothing more than an effort to make myself comfortable and as safe as possible. I wanted to become unsafe, and I wanted to be uncomfortable. I wanted to do something real, something that mattered to more people than just me. I wanted to stand in the cold and the rain for a purpose and burn the weakness from my body and from my soul. I knew that if I did this, at the end of my life I would be able to look back and know that I had truly lived it. And I knew that if I didn't do this, at the end of my life I would look back and wonder if I had even been alive. So I joined the Corps and burned away the layer of cotton gauze that I wrapped around myself as I walked through this life, that cushion of comfort and complacency that buffered me from the world. By doing so, I brought myself closer to reality, and I saw the things that were not beautiful about the world but that needed to change."

[Julia O'Brien(Hardgrove) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Combat experiences from Spring 2003 Iraq invasion from a Marine Officer at an Aerial Recon unit attached to 1st Marine Division.
I already knew most of the acronyms and organization structure, but another reader might find it harder to get through and understand.
One of the author's key themes is that unless you've experienced combat, you won't understand how that experience changed her.
Her journals are detailed and include a few stories of other Marines including Lt Chontosh's Navy Cross story.
.....SPOILERS..........
-Days passed like this: lonely uneventful, and full of anxiety about what was to come.
-I preferred my solitude and seeing the night sky, the sky at least was constant, it was the same universe I starred at back home. no matter where I travelled it was the one thing i could count on, proving I was just a small dot on a tiny planet barely moving in a small part of the cosmos.
Here I sat in a tent, listenting to Marines talk about the same Sh*t they always talked about.
-All who have gone to war have asked themselves what decisions brought them there.
to know that life hangs on the edge of not years, but a precise moment makes those minutes more memorable, more valuable.
-invigorates the mind and body, combat awakes one to true life, about the somnabulant half-life of the fat and happy civilian. awakens the instinct, the wild tings inside. Her Co tells Jane at the end how she's changed, shes more aggressive now, he didn't mean it as a good or bad thing.
"the LT said no and to f*k off"
Judging from the trouble in the way the operation had been run, i had litel faith in the overall plan. what struck me as strange was that I only had the first 4 days briefed in detail, the rest was a "what if" no one I knew, had seen the cmdrs intent.

[M2189 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hell of a book by female marine officer on the front lines of the invasion of Iraq she had to be a leader of a unit of mostly men and some woman who were part of a UAV team 1MEU while her husband was in the same regiment the 11th Marines who she hardly heard a word the entire time. She described the tent camps in Kuwaiti desert brutal for the marines unlike Camp Doha with a PX and other things we take for granted in this country and the hardships of modern war are also displayed this book. But also brave and quick thinking actions on the part of some her Basic School colleagues that were impactful in the early days.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read the book and it's pretty good. The book is in need of some spell checking and editing at times and chronologically it doesn't always flow well.

The book seems to be a compilation of the author's notes from her time deployed during the 2003 Iraq invasion from Kuwait.

I like that this book is of combat operations both from a women's perspective and from a support of combat operations since Jane Blair was part of a UAV wing group.

It's a shame that women still have to endure the ogles of fellow service members and lack of respect even among fellow officers.

I recommend this book if you like to read military history or combat books.

[Thomas J. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic story of today’s Marine Corps at war

I loved this book. It made you feel that you were right there with Lt. Blair in combat. This book is somewhat different than most war stories. First, the story is about a drone unit ant your usual infantry or fighter jock—that was a great perspective. Secondly, it was written by a female Marine officer—from the female at war persp

[Lila Doran · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked one bullet away better

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not my favorite read, but for a CMC book list read, it was pretty good. Also for an air intel officer, rep. Love to see the job field even though she never outright said it.

[Kathleen Hill · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hopefully I write a bette memoir of being a female Marine some day.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's always good to explore different perspectives, and this book certainly made me think about the different life paths we all take. The author isn't that much older than me, and it was particularly cutting to think back to watching the TV broadcasts of the events she lived through, safe in the quiet darkness of my college dorm lounge towards the end of spring break. The book is a solid window into what transpired and adds a lot of context to the news reports I heard at the time, and events that have played out since.

[Kate Armstrong · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have not read other book by the author, but I will be after reading this one. This was an incredibly well written book. The setting was well created through genuine individuals during the war, flashback was perfectly presented with no leaps, the dialogs were very convincing, You're wondering how could this all work.

I must say, I found it fascinating, very revealing, exciting and very readable.

This book shows another vision of the war in Iraq, just as decisive, the memories and internal feelings of Marines female during the Iraqi war.

I rank this as one of the best cause first, it's very well written and edited so as to make it a great read that's tough to put down, second, It reads like you're in the same room with the author.

[Mare · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like Blair's style and professionalism. As an officer in the marines and deploying during the initial phase of OIF, she discusses her combat experiences without "hype." In fact, there's very little emotion in her writing, which enhances her credibility as a Marine Corps officer.

The relationships she focuses on are those with herself and her particular duties. The unit with which she deployed traveled throughout Iraq, which she chronicles.

A very important contribution to illustrating the initial months of OIF and to noting women's contributions to those initial efforts.

[Xandretta · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really, really enjoyed this book. Well, as much as one can "enjoy" a book about combat. Jane's voice is clear and provides amazing insight into military life as an officer, a woman, and most importantly, as a Marine. Well paced and engaging throughout. One of the best military narratives I've read on the impact of modern war.

Also I totally teared up - not going to lie - when reading her husbands correspondence. Better than a romance novel.

[Bethanie Simms · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really insightful and helpful account of a female Marine Corps lieutenant through training and OEF I. The account is well written an honest. It is a must real for any new female 2nd Lt. She is also prior enlisted so she brings a lot of knowledge and insight as to what it's like to be a female in the USMC.

[Devin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an adventurous tale of a female Marine Second Lieutenant's combat experience in Iraq. It definitely had some good stories, but at other times read like a military manual. Overall, a good read for getting a sense of how it is for a female Marine in Iraq.

[Matthew · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice fluid narrative but it ended right when it was about to get interesting. Specifically how the author was able to adjust to noncombat life as well as when she returns to her husband.

[Johns · Rating 4 out of 5]

A compelling story and a quick read. Don't mess with this Marine officer -- she's an inspiration and a role model for all of us!