“ In pointing out that manners rank higher than deeds, Imam Al-Qarafi.. said, “ You should know that a little or good manners is better than a lot of good actions.”
4/5- Read this because of the emphasis I’ve seen recently placed on the Muslim personality, and the idea of identifying members of the faith by their conduct in society. While I’ve been familiar with western ideals, I was hoping to see how they deviate from/ exclude those particular to Islam. This book was straight to the point, relatively verifiable, and a sound reminder of how to act. For those interested, here are a few key take-aways:
Appearance: it is imperative to greet guests and leave the home in clean and presentable clothing, regardless of how close you are to the individual. Cleanliness is part of the religion!
Entering/Leaving the home: enter silently while others are asleep, seek permission to enter into rooms even if they are your parents or siblings, and do not perform acts of worship loudly in the night if others are asleep.
Visiting: After knocking on the door, stand to the side and not directly in front of the door so as to not invade the privacy of the homeowner once the door is opened when they greet you. Additionally, once inside, do not look around as though you are inspecting, keep your sights close to the host so as to not disturb them or see something they have not intended you to see. Do not burden your hosts with requests and be a quick+easy guest. Keep appointments and be set to your word
Conversation: Select suitable topics and stray from idle discussions or gossip. Talk in a lowered tone so as to not disturb others, and listen intently as though you are hearing things for the first time even though it may not be the case. Give importance to those speaking and listen more than you talk. Do not swear by Allah SWT needlessly, and answer questions humbly.
Social manners: Respect your elders by seating them first, give priority as well to those with more knowledge than you, and serve from the right to the left unless these cases exist. Treat your parents with the highest respect and let them know where you are going before you leave, so as to not worry them. Accept gifts graciously and always give more than you have received.
Communicating with non-Muslims: “ One should demonstrate to all people the goodness of Islam with gentle manners and kind behaviour. None of you believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself” - this refers to brother in humanity, including all religions. Treat everyone with respect, kindness, and warmth.
Eating: Be modest in your portions as wasting food is un-Islamic. Eat with your right hand and always begin with the name of God, ending with thanks to Him.
Visiting the Sick: Visit the sick often, regardless of their faith, and wish for their health. The duty of each Muslim is to visit others in time of illness as it will enhance and nourish that bond, making the other feel less alone. Pray for the sick, do not overstay your welcome, and remember that without illness we would not recognise the blessing of good health.
Travelling: Study the rules of prayer and fasting during travel, bring gifts to those you are visiting.
Overall, thought this was a good quick read and serves as an introduction to Prophetic values and social conduct. Would recommend!