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August Farewell: The Last Sixteen Days of a Thirty-Three-Year Romance
It was August 7, 2009, when the doctor stood at the foot of the hospital bed and with a deliberation that was both efficient and compassionate, looked directly at David Hallman and his partner Bill Conklin and said, "Our diagnosis is pancreatic cancer, stage four." In his thoughtful and deeply personal memoir, David Hallman narrates the sixteen days after Bill was diagnosed with terminal cancer and intersperses vignettes drawn from their thirty-three years together as a gay couple. With poignancy, humor, and affection, David describes the excruciating intensity of caring for Bill during those final two weeks while reminiscing about the joys and challenges of their life together. During their lengthy relationship, both were deeply committed to social and environmental justice, loved the arts and traveling, and embraced faith and spirituality-values that were never more important to them than during the final days of Bill's life. As David sat at Bill's bedside, he shares how the memories of their great love provided him strength and helped him prepare Bill for the end. August Farewell offers an intimate portrait of a loving relationship brought to an abrupt end and affirms the power of love in the face of adversity.
180 pages, Paperback
First published January 21, 2011
About the author
David G. Hallman
7 books45 followersDavid G. Hallman worked on environmental ethics for most of his career and during that time authored five books. Now retired, his writing has branched into different genres. A memoir "August Farewell" about the death of his longtime partner was released in early 2011 and his first novel "Searching for Gilead" was released in the fall of 2011. His collection of gay literary short stories "Book Tales" was published in September 2016. David lives in Toronto, Canada.
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
April 25, 2012
Beautifully written. I kept putting this book aside because I knew it would make me an emotional wreck, and it did, but it was also a celebration of life when life mattered most.
January 10, 2013
An interesting book about a true story of a gay couple of which one is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, which is rather far advanced that there is little that can be done by the medical profession, which means he has only a few weeks left to live.
The couple have been together for 33 years, and the book goes back and forth between today, then a flashback into the past they enjoyed together
It is not the most uplifting story, the victim is rather ready to die any time, in fact wonders why it is taking so long, for 16 days he is taken care of by his partner in their luxurious condo downtown Toronto, there are times that the partner despairs as to why it is taking so long for him to die, and is he in much pain...he makes arrangements for the funeral, their friends include some "who is who" who will participate in the memorial service. he reads up on line what to expect when a person dies, like what might happen, he is surrounded by agencies that provide care workers for various jobs that require doing,which is the beauty and benefit of our Canadian Health Care System much sneered at by some of our friends in other parts of the world.
I read the book in about 4 hours, did not care for some of the religious beliefs espoused, however the author has worked for the United Church of Canada, hence the religious connection. The Author David has written other books as well. Having been involved in palliative care for several years with a Toronto Hospice agency, many of the details were not new to me. A good and sad journal, it would be interesting to know what has happened to the "left behind partner" today.
The couple have been together for 33 years, and the book goes back and forth between today, then a flashback into the past they enjoyed together
It is not the most uplifting story, the victim is rather ready to die any time, in fact wonders why it is taking so long, for 16 days he is taken care of by his partner in their luxurious condo downtown Toronto, there are times that the partner despairs as to why it is taking so long for him to die, and is he in much pain...he makes arrangements for the funeral, their friends include some "who is who" who will participate in the memorial service. he reads up on line what to expect when a person dies, like what might happen, he is surrounded by agencies that provide care workers for various jobs that require doing,which is the beauty and benefit of our Canadian Health Care System much sneered at by some of our friends in other parts of the world.
I read the book in about 4 hours, did not care for some of the religious beliefs espoused, however the author has worked for the United Church of Canada, hence the religious connection. The Author David has written other books as well. Having been involved in palliative care for several years with a Toronto Hospice agency, many of the details were not new to me. A good and sad journal, it would be interesting to know what has happened to the "left behind partner" today.
December 26, 2012
Very moving and poignant memoir. Heartbreakingly honest. Still haunted by its final pages days later.
October 7, 2011
Toronto-based writer David G. Hallman's beautifully rendered memoir, August Farewell, appropriately subtitled, "The Last Sixteen Days of a Thirty-three Year Romance", deserves honorable mention in the pantheon of memoirists whose writing documents the heart-rending loss of a beloved spouse. Reminiscent of Paul Monette's poetic musings in Love Alone: Eighteen Elegies for Rog, and more recently, Joyce Carol Oates' A Widow's Story, Hallman's memoir captures in deceptively elegant prose the days following his long-term partner William Conklin's diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and his death a mere sixteen days later on August 23, 2009.
Presented in seventeen chapters, Hallman's portrait of a loving relationship built on respect, patience, judicious compromise, and `hard-kick-under-the-table lessons' (of the kind anyone who has navigated a long-term relationship will instantly recognize) engages the reader from page one. Lovers whose passions included deeply shared spiritual beliefs, as well as social activism--both were at the forefront of the international boycott of Nestlé in the late 70s and early 80s--and an abiding love of music and travel, it isn't surprising that the two men should be closely in tune throughout the slowing-down process of Mr. Conklin's final days.
One of the most moving vignettes, captured in Chapter Eight, presents the two men in a shared devotional; as Mr. Hallman accompanies his lover on the piano through the hymn, "Breathe on Me, Breath of God," Mr. Conklin, a music teacher whose tenor voice once soared, summons from dwindling reserves the wherewithal to complete the two-line hymn. Another milestone moment, detailed in Chapter Four, captures both men confronting the necessity of letting go:
"Sorry if it sounds harsh, but you've got to leave me alone so that I can slip away," Mr. Conklin starkly entreats. Who could help but be affected by Hallman's unspoken response: Do I love him enough to give him what he wants?
It is a reaction that will ring true for anyone--especially those who have struggled to maintain a respectful distance through arduous final hours and days at a loved-one's bedside.
Hallman's memoir is beautifully conceived and paced; but perhaps his greatest achievement is the transformation of a deeply personal loss into something inescapably universal in its implications and instructiveness. A primer for navigating the journey from life unto death (for who can claim expertise in that unfathomable journey), August Farewell offers lessons in grace and hope.
Jack Andrew Urquhart is the author of the inter-connected story collection, So They Say So They Say Stories Volume 1. Follow him on Twitter @JackAUrquhart
Presented in seventeen chapters, Hallman's portrait of a loving relationship built on respect, patience, judicious compromise, and `hard-kick-under-the-table lessons' (of the kind anyone who has navigated a long-term relationship will instantly recognize) engages the reader from page one. Lovers whose passions included deeply shared spiritual beliefs, as well as social activism--both were at the forefront of the international boycott of Nestlé in the late 70s and early 80s--and an abiding love of music and travel, it isn't surprising that the two men should be closely in tune throughout the slowing-down process of Mr. Conklin's final days.
One of the most moving vignettes, captured in Chapter Eight, presents the two men in a shared devotional; as Mr. Hallman accompanies his lover on the piano through the hymn, "Breathe on Me, Breath of God," Mr. Conklin, a music teacher whose tenor voice once soared, summons from dwindling reserves the wherewithal to complete the two-line hymn. Another milestone moment, detailed in Chapter Four, captures both men confronting the necessity of letting go:
"Sorry if it sounds harsh, but you've got to leave me alone so that I can slip away," Mr. Conklin starkly entreats. Who could help but be affected by Hallman's unspoken response: Do I love him enough to give him what he wants?
It is a reaction that will ring true for anyone--especially those who have struggled to maintain a respectful distance through arduous final hours and days at a loved-one's bedside.
Hallman's memoir is beautifully conceived and paced; but perhaps his greatest achievement is the transformation of a deeply personal loss into something inescapably universal in its implications and instructiveness. A primer for navigating the journey from life unto death (for who can claim expertise in that unfathomable journey), August Farewell offers lessons in grace and hope.
Jack Andrew Urquhart is the author of the inter-connected story collection, So They Say So They Say Stories Volume 1. Follow him on Twitter @JackAUrquhart
December 9, 2014
I don't normally write reviews, but I'd like to make an exception here.
I came across this book in a bit of an usual manner. Last year, I was creating an inventory of the influential teachers I've had in my life. Bill Conklin was one of them. He taught my sisters and I piano for a couple years in the early 2000s. Admittedly, I wasn't the greatest student; I hated having to practice, but always patient with me. While he had me practicing a new piece on the piano, he'd turn and chat with my mom. I loved listening to Bill talk because he always had the most amazing stories. I never realized how much those stories stuck with me until now. Bill taught me what it meant to be a good teacher who genuinely cared about his students and their well-being, regardless of their ability or dedication. When I eventually gave up piano, I was more worried about disappointing him than anything else. We eventually lost contact with him and I hadn't thought about him for nearly a decade. Fast-forward to last year and I decided to try looking him up and seeing what he might have been up to. I went into knowing that there was a very good chance he had already passed away. Didn't hurt any less to find out I was right.
I was initially very nervous about reading this book, but I'm glad I did. I learned a lot about this wonderful man who touched my life for an hour or two every week for almost two years. I got a better understanding about him as a person beyond what preteen me remembers. Mr. Hallman's touching retelling of those trying sixteen days had me in tears several times. I don't know if I would have enjoyed the book as much had I not had an existing connection to Bill, and was thus already invested in the subject matter. While not the best writing I've ever read, I think his attempts to capture Bill's spirit through the many anecdotes of their life together are far more important than anything else. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain of watching someone you love that fiercely go through such suffering and decline so rapidly. The book is obviously a labour of grief and love and I have difficulty faulting him for what I, as reader, may not have necessarily enjoyed as thoroughly.
Regardless of any perceived faults, I'm thankful for this book. It has given me some closure regarding an important (albeit brief) influence in my life. Thank you David Hallman for pouring your heart into this memoir.
I came across this book in a bit of an usual manner. Last year, I was creating an inventory of the influential teachers I've had in my life. Bill Conklin was one of them. He taught my sisters and I piano for a couple years in the early 2000s. Admittedly, I wasn't the greatest student; I hated having to practice, but always patient with me. While he had me practicing a new piece on the piano, he'd turn and chat with my mom. I loved listening to Bill talk because he always had the most amazing stories. I never realized how much those stories stuck with me until now. Bill taught me what it meant to be a good teacher who genuinely cared about his students and their well-being, regardless of their ability or dedication. When I eventually gave up piano, I was more worried about disappointing him than anything else. We eventually lost contact with him and I hadn't thought about him for nearly a decade. Fast-forward to last year and I decided to try looking him up and seeing what he might have been up to. I went into knowing that there was a very good chance he had already passed away. Didn't hurt any less to find out I was right.
I was initially very nervous about reading this book, but I'm glad I did. I learned a lot about this wonderful man who touched my life for an hour or two every week for almost two years. I got a better understanding about him as a person beyond what preteen me remembers. Mr. Hallman's touching retelling of those trying sixteen days had me in tears several times. I don't know if I would have enjoyed the book as much had I not had an existing connection to Bill, and was thus already invested in the subject matter. While not the best writing I've ever read, I think his attempts to capture Bill's spirit through the many anecdotes of their life together are far more important than anything else. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain of watching someone you love that fiercely go through such suffering and decline so rapidly. The book is obviously a labour of grief and love and I have difficulty faulting him for what I, as reader, may not have necessarily enjoyed as thoroughly.
Regardless of any perceived faults, I'm thankful for this book. It has given me some closure regarding an important (albeit brief) influence in my life. Thank you David Hallman for pouring your heart into this memoir.
October 25, 2011
In August of 2009, Bill Conklin was diagnosed with stage-four, pancreatic cancer. Only sixteen days later, Bill died. Bill’s partner of thirty-three years, David Hallman, narrates this sixteen-day journey interspersed with vignettes drawn from their rich and varied life together.
For the most part Bill was unconscious during his last weeks, so this memoir is more of David Hallman’s experience of caring for and letting go of his lover after a long and beautiful relationship. This book started as a personal account for David, as he wanted to document the details of those last weeks together before his memory began to fade, and much of it does seem like a personal diary.
I found the book well written with good pacing except for one issue. It is written in present tense. The author states up front that all these events happened in 2009, and then voices his story as if it were happening as he tells it. I found this very jarring, something that bothered me from first page to last.
One thing I found fascinating is that, one week after Bill’s diagnoses, he was bedridden, in much pain, couldn’t eat, couldn’t talk, didn’t even have the strength to suck water through a straw, yet they continued to keep him alive for as long as possible—another nine days of pain. If he were a horse, they would have mercifully shot him. Why, in this day and age, can’t we find the compassion for humans that we have already found for animals?
This is not a pleasant story. It is told with poignancy, humor, affection, and a good deal of tears. But be aware, I found this to be a depressing read. A bright spot is that the author delves into their life together: their commitment to environmental justice, love of the arts, love of traveling, and their deeply felt Christian beliefs.
This is a tale of letting go, a journey through the past to gain the strength to endure the separation. This is not a book I can recommend to all readers. Perhaps to readers who have made similar journeys, or people preparing for their own loss.
For the most part Bill was unconscious during his last weeks, so this memoir is more of David Hallman’s experience of caring for and letting go of his lover after a long and beautiful relationship. This book started as a personal account for David, as he wanted to document the details of those last weeks together before his memory began to fade, and much of it does seem like a personal diary.
I found the book well written with good pacing except for one issue. It is written in present tense. The author states up front that all these events happened in 2009, and then voices his story as if it were happening as he tells it. I found this very jarring, something that bothered me from first page to last.
One thing I found fascinating is that, one week after Bill’s diagnoses, he was bedridden, in much pain, couldn’t eat, couldn’t talk, didn’t even have the strength to suck water through a straw, yet they continued to keep him alive for as long as possible—another nine days of pain. If he were a horse, they would have mercifully shot him. Why, in this day and age, can’t we find the compassion for humans that we have already found for animals?
This is not a pleasant story. It is told with poignancy, humor, affection, and a good deal of tears. But be aware, I found this to be a depressing read. A bright spot is that the author delves into their life together: their commitment to environmental justice, love of the arts, love of traveling, and their deeply felt Christian beliefs.
This is a tale of letting go, a journey through the past to gain the strength to endure the separation. This is not a book I can recommend to all readers. Perhaps to readers who have made similar journeys, or people preparing for their own loss.
May 25, 2013
Today I got to read David G. Hallman’s “August Farewell”. This book is sitting in my shelf for like two or three weeks now. So today I finally picked it up and haven’t put it down in the last five-six hours.
Reading the summary on the back suggested that this book would be a real tearjerker – and I was ready for that. I’ve been following David on Twitter for quiet a while now and it’s been a few times that I’ve seen reviews or sneak peaks to this book so I was excited and curious to read it myself.
The book is basically about the last sixteen days David shares with his partner Bill, after he got the diagnose of pancreatitis cancer – stage 4.
This book a homage to love. David described the last days of his partner with love, passion, courage but also humor. I loved how he mixed the current on-goings, the progress of Bill’s disease with loving, funny and special memories they have had adventured together trough their relationship.
So we go by his side while he takes care for his lover, arranges everything that has to be arranged and is faced with something everyone of is probably scared. Losing the person we love the most. But with strength, love and faith he provides Bill everything he needs to help him, be by his side as he takes the final step.
I’ve been laughing, crying and weeping trough the whole book and I think this one of the most honest and affectionate book’s I’ve ever read. And I’m very thankful that David wrote down this process, those memories and decided to share them with us, the readers.
This is a wonderful story about love, faith, support and strength. A story about a long going relationship that’s brought to an abrupt hold but doesn’t stop there. It’s about a love so deep that not even death can break it.
I’m giving this book 5 stars out of 5.
Reading the summary on the back suggested that this book would be a real tearjerker – and I was ready for that. I’ve been following David on Twitter for quiet a while now and it’s been a few times that I’ve seen reviews or sneak peaks to this book so I was excited and curious to read it myself.
The book is basically about the last sixteen days David shares with his partner Bill, after he got the diagnose of pancreatitis cancer – stage 4.
This book a homage to love. David described the last days of his partner with love, passion, courage but also humor. I loved how he mixed the current on-goings, the progress of Bill’s disease with loving, funny and special memories they have had adventured together trough their relationship.
So we go by his side while he takes care for his lover, arranges everything that has to be arranged and is faced with something everyone of is probably scared. Losing the person we love the most. But with strength, love and faith he provides Bill everything he needs to help him, be by his side as he takes the final step.
I’ve been laughing, crying and weeping trough the whole book and I think this one of the most honest and affectionate book’s I’ve ever read. And I’m very thankful that David wrote down this process, those memories and decided to share them with us, the readers.
This is a wonderful story about love, faith, support and strength. A story about a long going relationship that’s brought to an abrupt hold but doesn’t stop there. It’s about a love so deep that not even death can break it.
I’m giving this book 5 stars out of 5.
September 19, 2012
5+++++ Stars
August Farewell is inarguably the most touching book I have read thus far in my life. David G. Hallman pours forth the heartbreaking last days spent with Bill Conklin, his lover and best friend for thirty-three years.
David G. Hallman allows the reader to share an intimate time with his partner. The telling of the final days with Bill was surely a cathartic exercise for David, and such an honor to read. You can feel the emotions jumping from the pages as David and Bill meet specialist after specialist trying to get answers to the pain Bill was living with, until the terrible diagnosis of Cancer. From the highs to the inevitable lows, David relives the pain and despair Bill was experiencing, bringing raw emotion forward. David shares fond memories of times he and Bill travelled the globe enjoying the opera and of spending time with friends and loved ones through the holidays and other occasions as they built their life together.
The memoir could have been weighed down with the darkness such emotion can bring, however David added touches of humor and little quirks of Bill's allowing a lightness to the love story. The inclusion of private photos of their life and adventures brings a connection between the couple and the reader.
I challenge anyone who has read “August Farewell” not to have a moment when they recall a time shared with, or the loss of a loved one. I can't recommend this book highly enough.
Disclaimer: This book was sent to me by the author in exchange for an honest review. I was not paid for my service.
August Farewell is inarguably the most touching book I have read thus far in my life. David G. Hallman pours forth the heartbreaking last days spent with Bill Conklin, his lover and best friend for thirty-three years.
David G. Hallman allows the reader to share an intimate time with his partner. The telling of the final days with Bill was surely a cathartic exercise for David, and such an honor to read. You can feel the emotions jumping from the pages as David and Bill meet specialist after specialist trying to get answers to the pain Bill was living with, until the terrible diagnosis of Cancer. From the highs to the inevitable lows, David relives the pain and despair Bill was experiencing, bringing raw emotion forward. David shares fond memories of times he and Bill travelled the globe enjoying the opera and of spending time with friends and loved ones through the holidays and other occasions as they built their life together.
The memoir could have been weighed down with the darkness such emotion can bring, however David added touches of humor and little quirks of Bill's allowing a lightness to the love story. The inclusion of private photos of their life and adventures brings a connection between the couple and the reader.
I challenge anyone who has read “August Farewell” not to have a moment when they recall a time shared with, or the loss of a loved one. I can't recommend this book highly enough.
Disclaimer: This book was sent to me by the author in exchange for an honest review. I was not paid for my service.
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August 25, 2012 I feel almost that I can’t articulate how deeply moved I was by August Farewell. I cannot imagine watching the final days of a loved one, let alone a partner of thirty-three years. I don’t think that I would have the strength to endure that.
Hallman’s love for his partner, Bill, as well as Bill’s personality leapt off the pages. Though quite a lot of the book is somber, there was a brief passage that made me laugh out loud about how Bill would have responded to a specific situation. I would love to tell you all about it, but I think that it’s one of those that you must read in context.
I think that reading this book will be a very personal experience that will be completely individual for each reader. I often read in bed and on my bedside table is a box of letters from my boyfriend. Every so often when I was reading August Farewell, I would catch the scent of his cologne. I could not imagine going through such a situation with a partner of two years, let alone the scope of David and Bill’s relationship.
This book will enrich your life and make you grateful for what you have. This book is a must-read.
Hallman’s love for his partner, Bill, as well as Bill’s personality leapt off the pages. Though quite a lot of the book is somber, there was a brief passage that made me laugh out loud about how Bill would have responded to a specific situation. I would love to tell you all about it, but I think that it’s one of those that you must read in context.
I think that reading this book will be a very personal experience that will be completely individual for each reader. I often read in bed and on my bedside table is a box of letters from my boyfriend. Every so often when I was reading August Farewell, I would catch the scent of his cologne. I could not imagine going through such a situation with a partner of two years, let alone the scope of David and Bill’s relationship.
This book will enrich your life and make you grateful for what you have. This book is a must-read.
July 1, 2011
This beautifully written memoir is careful to show the love of this thirty-three year relationship and not just the angst of watching someone die. Hallman has done a wonderful job of interspersing memories of trips (painted wonderfully with description) so the reader can get to know these two main 'characters' even though we are well aware of the outcome from the onset. The testament to the longevity and love of this gay couple goes a long way to show that 'marriage' does not know gender. My partner and I (only together 11 years - a third of David & Bill) have traveled extensively as well and I enjoyed the portions as I reminisced about my own life as Hallman displayed their shared moments together before those final days in August. I cannot imagine planning out my spouse's service as he did while tending to and caring for Bill with an unconditional love that allowed his soul-mate such dignity in death. Sharing these private moments with others may just aid in the relief that someone reading this book could need; displaying once again how giving this author truly is.
November 5, 2011
Definitely 5 stars! What a wonderful love story...yes if you read the overview you will know the ending...but there is so much love and passion between the first and last chapter. We often refer to books as "couldn't put it down"...however, for me August Farewell was one that I had to put down often, and reflect upon the content and my life - will I be able to look back upon my life having experienced the same love and passion for live as did David and Bill. At times you feel like you are eavesdropping, but in a good way. This definitely should be a must-read for all young gay couples...actually for any couple....you can live a passionate, fulfilled life as a gay couple. Thank you David, for sharing you and Bill with us...we are better for having known a you for a bit. While I am sure the loss is great, I hope the many wonderful memories hold you warm and tight at night.
July 5, 2013
I rarely, if ever, write a review and I especially feel bad writing a negative one. But this book was so weak, in my opinion, that I felt the need to express that so that others would avoid reading it. This book seemed like a paid advertisement for the Canadian public health system more than anything else. The author came across as pompous and conceited. I did not feel the sorrow for his partner and I did not feel his sorrow for his partner. On a positive note, I have been debating writing my own book. After reading this one, I feel confident that I could do at least as good a job.
August 25, 2012
I finished reading David Hallman's beautiful memoir of the life of his partner and realized I had been in the presence of true love. While August Farewell is about Bill's battle with cancer, it truly is a love story and not simply one about death. I can't say much more that hasn't already been said in other reviews. I was just blown away to realize I finished it on the anniversary of Bill's death when I saw Hallman's tweet on August 23rd. Read this book. You'll be glad you did.
January 1, 2013
It's hard to write about love and loss, but David G. Hallman does just that, eloquently, as he recounts the death of his longtime partner, Bill Conklin, to cancer. Covering the last 16 days they shared together, August Farewell is a fitting tribute to love lost, far too young.
April 9, 2015
I gave this - beautiful book - four stars with the intention of leaving a four-point-five star rating!
I've read this book more than once (I guess Mortimer would like that) and have enjoyed it every time.
Mr. David G. Hallman - you should be proud of your writing talents!
I've read this book more than once (I guess Mortimer would like that) and have enjoyed it every time.
Mr. David G. Hallman - you should be proud of your writing talents!
September 6, 2011
An amazing account of one man's journey through grief and love. A great work of non-fiction -- would recommend it to everyone.
May 12, 2012
Beautiful story.
November 4, 2012
Very good. I love to hear about people's lives. The way he wrote it. Intertwining the past and present was very nice.
January 4, 2012
Poignant,beautifully-written story of love and loss, a model of how end-of-life care should be.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews