Soulful Spirituality: Becoming Fully Alive and Deeply Human

by David G. Benner

Spirituality has an indispensable role to play in the expression of our humanity. However, spiritual practices can sometimes make us less, not more, authentically human. We may be good Christians, but we aren't good human beings. How can we ensure that our spiritual journey is conducted in a way that allows us to become fully alive and deeply human?

David Benner has spent thirty-five years integrating psychology and spirituality. Here he presents an expansive, psychologically informed understanding of spirituality, probing the contrasts between soulful and soulless spirituality, deep and shallow religion, and healthy and unhealthy relationships with God to affirm the vital role of human development in the spiritual journey. Benner then suggests soulful practices for cultivating the Christian spiritual life.

This book will appeal to readers seeking depth and substance in their quest for authentic spirituality. It will also be a helpful resource for mental health professionals and spiritual directors. Reflection questions and exercises for individual or group use are included at the end of each chapter.d

Genres: Spirituality, Christian, Nonfiction, Christianity, Psychology, Discipleship, Religion

206 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2011

About the author

David G. Benner (PhD, York University; postdoctoral studies, Chicago Institute of Psychoanalysis) is an internationally known depth psychologist, author, spiritual guide, and personal transformation coach. He currently serves as Emeritus Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Spirituality at the Psychological Studies Institute, Richmont Graduate University. He has authored or edited more than twenty books, including Soulful Spirituality and Strategic Pastoral Counseling

Reviews

[Rod White · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wrote this review for a class:

I will recommend to everyone seeking to development in their adult faith David Benner's "trilogy:"

Surrender to Love (2003)
The Gift of Being Yourself (2004)
Desiring God's Will (2005)

I have used these books in the church; I have recommended them to spiritual directees; I have
encouraged people to read them when they need to go beyond their inadequate understanding and practices and want to move into adult spiritual life. His books are not for people looking for easy answers or simple outlines. He is lucid, but one needs to pay attention.

But the book under review, Soulful Spirituality, is one for which I have less enthusiasm. The first two sections, as he describes his approach to “soulful” spirituality, are an encouraging corrective. Benner often seems like he is still recovering from his fundamentalist background and taking us with him, whether we need to recover or not. But once one reads him, she realizes she probably needs to go. He offers a convincing rationale for why spirituality is embodied, why we don’t "have" a body, but we "are" one. So many Christians are so "in their heads" they are basically Gnostics. To be fully spiritual, Benner says, we need to embrace our humanity.

Chapter five is especially helpful for understanding adult spiritual development as Benner
takes the imagery of Eric Erickson's developmental crises and applies it to spirituality. He says,

Spiritual crisis is the only hope for the resolution of our egocentricity. It is the only route to the deep realignment of our self that is needed. The egocentric life has been built on an inadequate foundation, and there is no way to simply patch the cracks in that foundation. Egocentricity appears to be saving our life but is in fact destroying it. It is the major impediment to deep connections and vital living. It is the core of spiritual and psychological dysfunction. It must die if we are to truly live. The only route to well-being is through the center of the crisis. There are no shortcuts (Benner, 2011, 63).

In this he sounds like the proponent of transformational psychology that he is.

In part three, where Benner becomes practical, I think he is much less successful. The practices he recommends are useful tools. But even so, when I put the book down, I thought, "I think I am done with Benner." In his later years, he seems to have spent so much time in Asia and in working across religious boundaries, that he is coming up with his own syncretism, and promoting another version of the “religion of no religion.” Most of his citations are eastern or Jewish when they could have all been biblical or Christian. I can screen out the philosophical subtext, but I would not ask someone to whom I recommended this book to do the same. If you want to read this book, you will be happy to use the first two parts, but you will need a good grid to get the best out of the last third.

[Jonathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has been deeply helpful for me as I've wrestled with this unsettled inner self of mine. Benner is a favorite of mine, probably not for everyone; but I found this book profoundly thoughtful and great as a devotional-type read.

[Natalie Lett · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is one that I loved listening to on walks, long drives, and doing mundane house-keeping, and that was just right.
It opened up so many questions about not just why it matters that we are souls, bodies, and spirits living a spiritual life, but HOW to deepen/expand our souls, embodiment, and spirituality. I think it’ll be one that I re-listen to over and over, especially the last six chapters (awareness, wonder, otherness, reality, presence, and surrender).
If you’re tired, worn-down, burnt-out, and long for life that feels more alive, this book has something to say and tools to give.

[Cally Reed · Rating 5 out of 5]

READ IT.

[Benjamin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I rate Soulful Spirituality an "only ok" rating. That's not to say that I didn't learn something. My big take away was the comparison of "soul" to "spirit" in Benner's work. Soul is the grounding of who we are; Spirit is the expression or energy or passion we express. I thought that was a neat way to look at things - that we need health in both our grounding, in who we are, as well as in the way we express life.

Another part I appreciated about Benner's work was the concept and reminder that we are constantly becoming. We're not static and this present moment is the moment of life and becoming alive. Very psychologically true.

I rate it the way I have because I believe a true and healthy spirituality is driven by God's Spirit as it courses through us. To me, Benner's work seemed more about an individual realizing him/herself toward awareness and seemed, by the writing, to be possible without the Spirit or much needed involvement of God at all - as if God were out somewhere in space just waiting for us to realize ourselves toward him as our end-goal destination.

While I appreciate the mention of spiritual vibrancy and find much of Benner's writing to be very psychologically helpful and good, I'm left wondering at the end of the book what, in the author's words, is a true and living spirituality and what does Jesus have to do with it? How does life come to us from God and course through us? Or, is it like Benner writes, that our lives are about a coming awake to an already present, yet strangely unknowable (my take on Benner's book) God?

[Sylvia Jeronimo · Rating 3 out of 5]

The most difficult of all the Benner books I have read so far. You will find yourself with a proverbial pickaxe, mining the depths of what it means to be fully human. Explore the interplay between the spirit and the soul; between integration and inflation of the ego, between being and becoming. Benner’s chapter on wonder, otherness and stillness; not to mention his fabulous piece on surrender; is worth the mind stretching fatigue to keep up with his inspiration to live deeply in the now of your life.

[Gregory A. Wiens PhD · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for the deeper thinker

This book is challenging in many ways. I appreciate his grasp of psychology, philosophy and theology. It is not for the faint of heart, but worth the read. I don’t think it is intended to be the only book on spirituality one reads, but surely adds to what others have written.

[Pamela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Benner's book is a perfect blend of the psychological and the spiritual with some theological thrown in. I recognized the book's powerful significance from the beginning. I recommend this book as a Minister of Pastoral Counseling for those who counsel, those who are being counseled and those who would like counseling. His book is oriented toward contemplative living - the deepest experience of the human journey and the spiritual journey- becoming fully human. It is how-to and gives challenges at the end of the chapters for expanding and infusing that which is transcendent to the self. Benner presents the spiritual challenge through God, not thoughts about God or beliefs, obligations or rules. Benner inspires the authentic spiritual journey through the awareness of engaging in life in a deeper way - integrating and transcending. Benner points us in the direction of our innate deep longing and desire for connectivity and unity with God and the world. Benner also points out the roadblocks along the way and ways to use the roadblocks in our disordered lives for healing.

[Phil · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book online because I've read a David Benner book, Surrender to Love, and enjoyed it. Benner has the knack of explaining spirituality and faith clearly, but profoundly, so I thought it was worth it to have a look.

Soulful Spirituality is written in a Christian context and with the input of psychology as well (Benner is a psychologist, but one with a focus on spirituality). His main idea is that one cannot really seek God without seeking one's own humanity. In our society, this is a surprising insight because psychology and spirituality is frequently considered to be, if not opposed, then unassociated with each other. Benner makes the case that, not only are they connected, but that they need to be. The result is a discussion of spirituality which digs deep into one's personhood.

This is a good book for those who are seeking to deepen their spiritual lives. Benner is compassionate and insightful, so well worth reading.

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book I wanted to read again all the time I was reading it and in fact I read many of the chapters more than once. It’s sometimes hard to grasp but overall gives very thoughtful guidance of how to live a life at peace with yourself, your circumstances, and the world. I appreciated the exercises given in each chapter to help practice the ideas he was teaching. Though the book is ultimately about Christian spirituality, I like it that he writes it in a way that is welcoming to anyone wanting to travel down a spiritual path.

[Renee Davis Meyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely fantastic, thought provoking look at the possibility of being deeply spiritual and also fully human (something that seems like it should be easy. but as is obvious in the world and ourselves, sometimes how we hold and live and practice our beliefs can make us not great humans, and living half lives. I will probably re-read this regularly. I have it in print and audible, the narrator is good (sounds like he’s speaking/explaining, not reciting someone else’s words like some NF.)

[Alla Kovalenko · Rating 5 out of 5]

„Letting go of something that is gone does not mean that you would not welcome it back. It simply means that you choose to let go of your attachment to it.“
„We need to release our desire for control, approval and security..”

this is probably one of the most useful books I have read in recent years.

[Madison Stoller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been reading different books about soul level growth, and this one was profound and grounding, giving language to soul practices that we can do to feel more alive, live with more wonder and intentionality, and surrender. I loved it and will continue to go back to this book and the guiding questions it provides after each chapter.

[Paul Shotsberger · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book contains some very deep thoughts about living our lives at peace with ourselves and with others and God. I will be thinking about these ideas for a long time. That said, some of the ideas seem a bit too mystical for me, and I question whether they really belong in the life of a Christian. However, I’ll be pondering those thoughts as well.

[Vanessa Siemens · Rating 4 out of 5]

Appreciate the integration of psychology and spirituality and the spiritual practices presented in the second half of the book are refreshing and engaging as ways to continue to go deeper with God and in being transformed into who we truly are.

[Shane Phillips · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was not for me. We "sappy" and generic advice. free download for honest review

[Dawn Dishman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have enjoyed every book of David Benner’s that I’ve read. This one is no different. I like how he writes. He makes me think, and challenges what I’ve believed. He spurs me on to be more authentic.

[Jorge · Rating 2 out of 5]

Un libro de espiritualidad en el más amplio sentido. No era lo que esperaba

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thought provoking and insightful. Each part builds on the other, with the final one sharing some excellent information on spiritual practices. A must read for spiritual directors.

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

My therapist told me to ignore the first half of this book due to its technicality and just read the spiritual practices section in the latter half. I wish I had followed his advice. I found my eyes glazing over, but I was stubborn and pushed through. Benner just was not very accessible, too heady. It wasn't without value, though. His distinction between spirit and soul was a useful model for understand different parts of the internal self, though they are not truly "spirit" and "soul" as the Bible sees them, I think. I also believe that Benner has a healthy and more truly Christian view of the body and its goodness and centrality to our humanness.

The practices section at the end had much more value for me. I desperately need to become more aware and present, less lost in my own head or unfocused in my attention. And a sense of wonder is desperately needed in our jaded society. Other practices he expounds on are valuing the other, accepting reality, and learning to surrender our illusions of control.

My last thought is best expressed by Goodreads reviewer Rod White:

"In his later years, [Benner] seems to have spent so much time in Asia and in working across religious boundaries, that he is coming up with his own syncretism, and promoting another version of the 'religion of no religion.'"

So much of this book felt like an interfaith meeting, where Muslim, Christian, Jew, Hindu, and even atheist all affirm that they are all true and one. I can get on board with learning from other religions and even that they have a greater handle on different aspects of truth than many Christians have, but my commitment to Christianity is grounded in the belief that it is actually true, that Jesus really does offer fullness of life that no other source does. He actually did rise from the dead and offers the same hope for his disciples at the end of time, and in the meantime, he offers a new way of living that transforms relationships and societies at large.

This did not feel like a Christian book at all, except that general truths about living true to one's self and to life are espoused, but there's not much of Jesus here, no resurrection, no call to follow the Christian way, and certainly no claim that it is an exclusive way. I kept asking myself, "If I do what this book says and become a fulfilled soulful spiritualist, then what does Jesus have to offer me?" In the gospels, he offers life that is overflowing, and I think that Benner describes a lot of what this life looks like, but I also come away thinking that he doesn't believe in the uniqueness of the Christian vision.

Another Goodreads review, Brian Vineyard, summed my thoughts up well:

"I rate [the book] the way I have because I believe a true and healthy spirituality is driven by God's Spirit as it courses through us. To me, Benner's work seemed more about an individual realizing him/herself toward awareness and seemed, by the writing, to be possible without the Spirit or much needed involvement of God at all - as if God were out somewhere in space just waiting for us to realize ourselves toward him as our end-goal destination. "

[Glen Grunau · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have come to appreciate Benner for his special ability to elucidate the essence of Christian contemplative spirituality in a way that is easily accessible for most readers. Although he writes this book primarily for a Christian audience, he is appealing to an even broader range of seekers - those for whom religion has never been a meaningful reference point in their spiritual seeking. For his research for this book, Benner relied on his time spent in Asia and his dialogue with Buddhists, Taoists, and followers of traditional Chinese religions as well as his exposure to Jews, Muslims and Hindus. I suspect that may Christians may struggle with Benner's premise that seekers of a Christian spirituality and religion have much to learn from these other world religions.

Benner's premise in this book is that we cannot become fully alive spiritually unless we are also deeply human. Benner describes the importance of this balance: "The call of the spirit is up and out, beyond our self, to places of self-transcendence. Soul, on the other hand, calls us down and in to a place of groundedness within the realities of our lives and the human condition . . . soaring comes from longings that are matched with belongings - when we fly on the wind of spirit yet remain anchored in body and soul".

I have come to recognize in my own spiritual journey, with the help of my most recent spiritual guides, the ways in which I have denied the mundane, often harsh and unwelcome realities of my human condition, in my efforts to attain such spiritual heights. Benner offers a persuasive invitation to readers looking to correct such an imbalance between soaring in spirit and remaining grounded in humanity by devoting a significant portion of his book to identifying 6 core spiritual practices essential to any soulful spirituality: awareness, wonder, otherness, reality, presence, and surrender. Although the essence of these spiritual practices is found in Christian contemplative spirituality, many of these practices may be foreign to some Christians. Yet the essence of these 6 spiritual practices are found in other world religions. The wake up call for many Christians will be the recognition that many followers of other religions may be more devoted to these practices and consequently more spiritually alive and awake than many Christians whose spirituality is limited to an intellectual belief system.

[Garland Vance · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have been a fan of David Benner for a while and was very excited to read this book about being fully human. Unfortunately, I found this book to be bi-polar--sometimes incredible and deeply insightful while other times confusing and annoying. Sometimes it was a 5 star book, while other times being a 1 star book. Benner's chapter on the connections between he body, sexuality and spirituality were so insightful. They might be worth the price of the book.
The rest of the book tried too hard to point people toward the Christian expressions of spiritual growth without sounding overtly Christian. Benner reveals in one chapter that his son recently declared that he did not follow in his dad's Christian beliefs. It made me wonder if Benner was searching for an expression of Britain spirituality that would leave room for his son's newfound beliefs.
While I would highly recommend Benner's writing most of the time, I would stay away from this book.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Our true spirituality is always the meaning we actually live, not the meaning to which we give cognitive or verbal assent." (p75)
"There is no sense preventing that being religious - even Christian - automatically makes you a whole, vital, and growing human being. It simply does not. I believe that Christian spirituality can and should lead to all these things. In fact, as I have suggested, I am convinced that becoming fully human is right at the centre of the Christian spiritual journey. But as with anything in the spiritual life, it is essential to start where we actually are, not where we might like to think we are." (p12)

[Charles Dean · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a tough book to give stars to. At times I was bored, but then at other moments it was so deeply insightful that I'd think "this is the most profound book I've ever read!". So, I guess the term is "uneven.". I wouldn't say it's an easy read - but it promises to come up in conversations on spirituality.

[Beth Booram · Rating 5 out of 5]

Benner is putting into words many thoughts I've had about the spirituality of being deeply human. My mind and soul is being fed once again through Benner's astute psychological and spiritual insights.

[Keith Atkinson]

This is a great read of becoming fully whole in Christ. It reminds me of some of Richard Rohr's books.

[Drshar · Rating 4 out of 5]

A continuous trek for being human and unarmed is oft a missed journey

[Brad]

?

[Mark]

Great book, nice summary on important spiritual practices and formation.