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Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings: Madea's Uninhibited Commentaries on Love and Life
View our feature on Tyler Perry's Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings.
In 2005, Tyler Perry took Hollywood by storm. The movie he wrote, produced, and starred in, Diary of a Mad Black Woman , opened number one at the box office and went on to gross more than $50 million. In its first week on sale, the DVD sold 2.4 million copies. At the same time, Perry was starring nightly across the country in a soldout stage show he'd also written, produced, and scored- Madea Goes to Jail -even as another one of his productions, Meet the Browns , was touring nationally. Every week in 2005, 35,000 people saw a Tyler Perry production. His second feature film, Madea's Family Reunion , opens in theaters in February 2006. Now, this triple-threat actor/playwright/director, has written his first book, and it features his most beloved, most irreverent sixty-eight-year-old grandmother Madea Simmons.
Madea is at the center of all of Tyler Perry's work, and she's always unfailingly outspoken, dead-on, and hilarious. But in Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings , Madea shares more than she ever has before- about herself, and about what she thinks of everyone around her. The topics inimitably covered by Madea (a term of endearment for "Mother Dear") include love and marriage, child-rearing, etiquette and neighborliness, beauty tips, health tips, financial tips, the Bible and the church, and, of course, gun care. She's brazen, feisty, and never at a loss for words, but at the heart of everything she says- and at the heart of all of Perry's work-is a resounding message of faith and forgiveness.
Shockingly hilarious, surprisingly moving, and as rousing and inspiring as a great gospel show, Madea's words of wisdom, memories, and straight-up in-your-face advice will be cherished by Perry's numerous fans- and it all comes just in time for Mother's Day. Tyler Perry is about to take the publishing world by storm.
In 2005, Tyler Perry took Hollywood by storm. The movie he wrote, produced, and starred in, Diary of a Mad Black Woman , opened number one at the box office and went on to gross more than $50 million. In its first week on sale, the DVD sold 2.4 million copies. At the same time, Perry was starring nightly across the country in a soldout stage show he'd also written, produced, and scored- Madea Goes to Jail -even as another one of his productions, Meet the Browns , was touring nationally. Every week in 2005, 35,000 people saw a Tyler Perry production. His second feature film, Madea's Family Reunion , opens in theaters in February 2006. Now, this triple-threat actor/playwright/director, has written his first book, and it features his most beloved, most irreverent sixty-eight-year-old grandmother Madea Simmons.
Madea is at the center of all of Tyler Perry's work, and she's always unfailingly outspoken, dead-on, and hilarious. But in Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings , Madea shares more than she ever has before- about herself, and about what she thinks of everyone around her. The topics inimitably covered by Madea (a term of endearment for "Mother Dear") include love and marriage, child-rearing, etiquette and neighborliness, beauty tips, health tips, financial tips, the Bible and the church, and, of course, gun care. She's brazen, feisty, and never at a loss for words, but at the heart of everything she says- and at the heart of all of Perry's work-is a resounding message of faith and forgiveness.
Shockingly hilarious, surprisingly moving, and as rousing and inspiring as a great gospel show, Madea's words of wisdom, memories, and straight-up in-your-face advice will be cherished by Perry's numerous fans- and it all comes just in time for Mother's Day. Tyler Perry is about to take the publishing world by storm.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2006
224 people are currently reading
1782 people want to read
About the author
Tyler Perry
16 books297 followersTyler Perry is an American playwright, actor and film director. His best-known character is Mabel Simmons, more commonly known as "Madea," an overbearing but well-intentioned woman who serves both as comic relief and as the loud voice of conscience to the protagonists of Perry's plays.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 280 reviews
February 17, 2022
If you love Madea, you'll love this! My Kindle version repeats several chapters back-to-back as though they were the ones Madea feels most strongly about. Or it could just be plain ol' error. You know Madea: she feels "most strongly" about EVERYTHING!
Thanks for reading, and watch out for Madea!
Thanks for reading, and watch out for Madea!
September 20, 2020
This was a much-needed hug/talking-to from a seemingly bygone member of my community.
Madea and I may disagree on some things (ducks under nearest table as Madea reaches for her "bag of belts" or "peacemaker") but in general, our perceptions of what constitutes happy and healthy living go hand in hand.
I've removed more than my share of earrings in my lifetime and can relate to the struggle to remain within the boundaries of public decency and the law when people test you.
Psssst: My only criticism (looks over shoulder to make sure I'm out of earshot) is that there are some bits here and there that might be alienating to certain audiences.
Still, I hesitate to be especially critical (I'm not too old to go across her ample knees for a good ole fashion..."behavior modification”) of writers who don't go out of their way to appeal to those outside their target audience.
Ultimately, Tyler Perry's/Madea’s Don’t Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings is a funny and reassuring treat in the midst of some of the most lonely and frightening times I've ever experienced. Four stars.
Madea and I may disagree on some things (ducks under nearest table as Madea reaches for her "bag of belts" or "peacemaker") but in general, our perceptions of what constitutes happy and healthy living go hand in hand.
I've removed more than my share of earrings in my lifetime and can relate to the struggle to remain within the boundaries of public decency and the law when people test you.
Psssst: My only criticism (looks over shoulder to make sure I'm out of earshot) is that there are some bits here and there that might be alienating to certain audiences.
Still, I hesitate to be especially critical (I'm not too old to go across her ample knees for a good ole fashion..."behavior modification”) of writers who don't go out of their way to appeal to those outside their target audience.
Ultimately, Tyler Perry's/Madea’s Don’t Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings is a funny and reassuring treat in the midst of some of the most lonely and frightening times I've ever experienced. Four stars.
December 31, 2008
Don’t Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings took me back to my childhood because I could hear my mother’s voice in Madea’s words. No book has made me laugh so hard in a long time. Don’t Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings is a reminder of when children were parented, paid attention to, and cared for. I enjoyed reading about the village I grew up in when children had no privacy because neighbors would watch out for you when the parents weren’t available to do so. A must read..
April 24, 2008
man this book is sooooooo funny i really enjoy
January 4, 2024
4.25 stars
I bought the audiobook on sale on Audible and it was a good purchase. I wasn’t planning on making this my first read in 2024. I planned to finish it in one day but I ended up taking my time listening and reading this book as I really enjoyed it. It is full of funny yet practical advice and “life with Madea” moments. Tyler Perry and Madea voicing themselves just makes the reading experience even better than just reading the ebook. Starting 2024 off with some good advice and laughs gives me hope that the year will be full of good times.
I bought the audiobook on sale on Audible and it was a good purchase. I wasn’t planning on making this my first read in 2024. I planned to finish it in one day but I ended up taking my time listening and reading this book as I really enjoyed it. It is full of funny yet practical advice and “life with Madea” moments. Tyler Perry and Madea voicing themselves just makes the reading experience even better than just reading the ebook. Starting 2024 off with some good advice and laughs gives me hope that the year will be full of good times.
December 2, 2017
This book for me is a re-read, and I am typically not a person who re-reads books...I am one who feels like there are too many books in the world to keep re-reading the same ones over and over again.... but, I read this book around the time it came out about 8 years ago...and I loved it even then. (Will I ever re-read another book? Maybe! Or was I a person who totally wrote off re-reading a book? No. It's just not something I would make a big habit of unless I felt I needed information out of that book and/or maybe I can't get to any other books at that time...or whatever other reason there may be in that moment in time)
But I digress...
But, for some reason, I decided to type in Tyler Perry on scribd and the book came up...in audio! With Madea reading! I Had To Listen!
Listening to this book, was even funnier than the first time...I laughed the first time..A lot I'm sure...but I laughed so hard while listening to Madea read this and go off track a couple times. There were a couple times a word or two were changed around, added to, etc..but that's okay...That made it that much better!
I had so much fun reading and listening to this book! I pulled so much out of it this go round, as Im sure I got good advice the first time I listened to it as well. But now that I'm older, a little wiser, I'm sure I can do more with it now than I did then.
But I have to say, if you're going to read and/or listen to this book...make sure you're in a place that you can laugh out loud and not care about the people around you..because you will be doing just that! Or, you know how to just hold back a little bit, like I had to when I was listening to it in public. I just smiled, hard, and when I finally opened my door, and she said something funny..I just let out the laughter! Loud!
But I digress...
But, for some reason, I decided to type in Tyler Perry on scribd and the book came up...in audio! With Madea reading! I Had To Listen!
Listening to this book, was even funnier than the first time...I laughed the first time..A lot I'm sure...but I laughed so hard while listening to Madea read this and go off track a couple times. There were a couple times a word or two were changed around, added to, etc..but that's okay...That made it that much better!
I had so much fun reading and listening to this book! I pulled so much out of it this go round, as Im sure I got good advice the first time I listened to it as well. But now that I'm older, a little wiser, I'm sure I can do more with it now than I did then.
But I have to say, if you're going to read and/or listen to this book...make sure you're in a place that you can laugh out loud and not care about the people around you..because you will be doing just that! Or, you know how to just hold back a little bit, like I had to when I was listening to it in public. I just smiled, hard, and when I finally opened my door, and she said something funny..I just let out the laughter! Loud!
November 12, 2009
I loved this book! It is funny but also has some "truisms" in it. Little pearls of wisdom from Madea! My favorite chapter was "Hold the Frisbee". That's where she equates "relationships" with throwing the frisbee to a dog. If you want the dog to stay interested in the frisbee, don't throw it too much. I'm thinking of making my 18 yr old daughter read it! We need more Madea's!!
July 7, 2012
I am biased when it comes to Mr. Perry simply because I love everything he does.
August 2, 2011
The New York Times listed it a non-fiction, but the library has it in the fiction section — in reality a fictious autobiographical monolog by a Black man portraying an old woman. It was amusing at times and provided some insight into the African-American culture, but became rather boring midway through the book. I learned of this book from its three-month stay on the New York Times best seller list in the spring of 2006.
April 25, 2016
I am always on the road and traffic can be boring and stressful at times. Hearing this audio book in my car was as if I was in a comedy show. I couldnt stop laughing regardless of the ridiculous advise that was being offered by Madea.
January 4, 2010
HA-llarious! Tyler Perry is SOOOO funny! I needed something humourus and light hearted and this was it. 100% in Madea tone!
August 4, 2011
Not as funny as I thought it would be.
September 22, 2013
Thoroughly enjoyed this well-written tongue-in-cheek fiction that contains a whole lot of great advice.
April 8, 2024
4.5 stars! This book is full of gems and also funny as well coming from Madea. I definitely recommend it
December 17, 2008
There was nothing really special about this book. But what makes it a good read is that it is a reminder of the things you already know, you've already been told. A refresher as to the lesson's you should have already learned, or if you're one of those people who just have to fall on your behind over and over again, it gives advice as how to stop.
This book is a reiteration of the things we sometimes forget due to life's unexpected experiences that may distract us from what we should often keep with us as a guide.
So, great job Tyler, I enjoyed. If you haven't read this book I suggest you do so if you need a refresher course in life.
Quanda R. Graves (Until...)
This book is a reiteration of the things we sometimes forget due to life's unexpected experiences that may distract us from what we should often keep with us as a guide.
So, great job Tyler, I enjoyed. If you haven't read this book I suggest you do so if you need a refresher course in life.
Quanda R. Graves (Until...)
May 4, 2012
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Madea!!!!!! What was you thinking...
you know .. sometimes, Madea is just a little to true to be real... Unbelievable. She makes sense... at times... just only sometimes.. other times.. she should be jailed.. but then What the heck.. sometimes you need to say crazy stuff just to make some sense of the weird world we live in.
And true to the word.. Kids born since the 80's think that every thing should be handed to them on a plate. They do not want to work for anything.. Speak on Madea...
Madea!!!!!! What was you thinking...
you know .. sometimes, Madea is just a little to true to be real... Unbelievable. She makes sense... at times... just only sometimes.. other times.. she should be jailed.. but then What the heck.. sometimes you need to say crazy stuff just to make some sense of the weird world we live in.
And true to the word.. Kids born since the 80's think that every thing should be handed to them on a plate. They do not want to work for anything.. Speak on Madea...
May 4, 2011
This is the book that made me finally finish my novel! In Madea's true style, she says something near the end that pushed me over the edge! "If you're a writer, then BE a writer!" She said something to that effect, but it lit a fire under me and I completed Mello & June. I will always be indebted to Madea/Tyler Perry for making me get to it! This book had me in tears of laughter, and it was so damn true. If you enjoy laughing, this book is definitely for you!
February 15, 2014
Ah, Madea. the best case of D.I.D ever. This book is just like you would expect Madea to be. Honest, nothing held back, yes she went there. Funny as hell, but also a type of sage wisdom. When it comes to beauty, be natural and keep lots of Vaseline, when it comes to love, Dont stay if it ain't working. when it comes to kids, whup that ass. stay in school, soeak properly. everyone regardless of class or race or age could get something from reading this book.
August 6, 2011
I laughed so hard I was crying. From an African American prespective this book was hilarious and real. Above all to hear it on CD was the funniest thing. The life examples were true and brought back memories. Above all it was a good read even if just to laugh, think, and enjoy.
February 22, 2016
This book had some very humorous parts, but to take it seriously, there were some life lessons in here that can help me in the future. I feel like this book may have taught me to let some things go. It taught me to let go of the things I cannot change.
February 18, 2018
Great way to enjoy many laughs---Madea always tells it like it is. Madea provides her perspective on dating, raising children, and life.
January 28, 2010
This relatively short book (254 pages, hardback) needs to be read it from cover-to-cover, but it is divided into eleven sections making it easy to jump to where you need help most.
The purpose of this book is instructional and the clue is in the title. You don’t want to make a black woman take off her earrings. Why? Because this is your last clue that you have crossed the line and sistah-girl is about to throw down. Your mouth has written a check that is about to be cashed on your behind. So it’s better to learn how not to get into such a situation.
Do not mistake Madea for being a humorless, strict, church lady who looks down her nose proclaiming, “Isn’t that special?” Back in her youth, Madea was a stripper. Fortunately for us, she has collected all of her advice from her life experiences and put them in a convenient book for our use.
Madea has something to say about everything, and she makes it clear that we would be wise to listen.
On ageing: “You don’t get older—you get better—if you’re wise.”
On weight: “There’s nothing sexy about a rib cage.”
On beauty: “Vaseline.”
On sex: “If you’re looking for a roadmap to heaven, follow these stretch marks along my thighs!”
On self-defence: “My momma didn’t give me any instruction on the gun. She just told me, ‘Aim and pull.’”
The effects of aging on the body: “You know, I stepped on my nipple today.”
And much, much more.
As mentioned above, you don’t get Madea’s age and experience if you’re stupid. But she points out that living in today’s society makes it harder to find sources of wisdom.
“See, grandmas today are twenty-nine years old. If you’re twenty-nine, you don’t know the things you know at sixty-eight.”
Madea is all about owning up to responsibility and working to your full potential. If you don’t believe me, just read the section: “What in Hell Is ‘Acting White’ Supposed to Mean?” Her response: “It’s not acting white. It’s acting like you got some sense!”
Further on in the chapter she says: “It’s like laws in America. If you break the law, you pay the consequences [...:] So when you’re raising kids, remember—you are the law. Lay the law down and they will respect you.”
Do we really need Supernanny???
Madea is funny. She is over the top. Not all of her tips can be taken seriously. For example, you probably don’t want to try your luck by bouncing checks all over town, or leaving fish heads around your house to discourage houseguests, but that’s not the point. It is the spirit in which the advice is given that counts.
The purpose of this book is instructional and the clue is in the title. You don’t want to make a black woman take off her earrings. Why? Because this is your last clue that you have crossed the line and sistah-girl is about to throw down. Your mouth has written a check that is about to be cashed on your behind. So it’s better to learn how not to get into such a situation.
Do not mistake Madea for being a humorless, strict, church lady who looks down her nose proclaiming, “Isn’t that special?” Back in her youth, Madea was a stripper. Fortunately for us, she has collected all of her advice from her life experiences and put them in a convenient book for our use.
Madea has something to say about everything, and she makes it clear that we would be wise to listen.
On ageing: “You don’t get older—you get better—if you’re wise.”
On weight: “There’s nothing sexy about a rib cage.”
On beauty: “Vaseline.”
On sex: “If you’re looking for a roadmap to heaven, follow these stretch marks along my thighs!”
On self-defence: “My momma didn’t give me any instruction on the gun. She just told me, ‘Aim and pull.’”
The effects of aging on the body: “You know, I stepped on my nipple today.”
And much, much more.
As mentioned above, you don’t get Madea’s age and experience if you’re stupid. But she points out that living in today’s society makes it harder to find sources of wisdom.
“See, grandmas today are twenty-nine years old. If you’re twenty-nine, you don’t know the things you know at sixty-eight.”
Madea is all about owning up to responsibility and working to your full potential. If you don’t believe me, just read the section: “What in Hell Is ‘Acting White’ Supposed to Mean?” Her response: “It’s not acting white. It’s acting like you got some sense!”
Further on in the chapter she says: “It’s like laws in America. If you break the law, you pay the consequences [...:] So when you’re raising kids, remember—you are the law. Lay the law down and they will respect you.”
Do we really need Supernanny???
Madea is funny. She is over the top. Not all of her tips can be taken seriously. For example, you probably don’t want to try your luck by bouncing checks all over town, or leaving fish heads around your house to discourage houseguests, but that’s not the point. It is the spirit in which the advice is given that counts.
March 14, 2016
I usually do not enjoy modern comedies because I find a lot of them to be rather stupid and shallow. However, I do find Tyler Perry's Madea character hilarious. Therefore, I thought that this book might be good for some laughs. I was disappointed. I chuckled once or twice, but found myself skimming the book. It reads like an actual self-help book, and I just didn't find it amusing or useful. Humor is a very personal thing, however, and I imagine that many people out there might get a laugh out of it.
August 7, 2017
Revisited Madea again.....LOVE this character.... Thank you Tyler Perry!!!!
The audio is wonderful …I’ll need to listen to this again…and again…LOVE this character…..so very funny and so much is true. I was laughing out loud throughout. I’d love to have a Madea in my life… Now what would be wonderful is if Medea met Flip Wilson’s Geraldine….
Wish Medea had a Facebook page and sent out Madea stories... a smile a day!!
The audio is wonderful …I’ll need to listen to this again…and again…LOVE this character…..so very funny and so much is true. I was laughing out loud throughout. I’d love to have a Madea in my life… Now what would be wonderful is if Medea met Flip Wilson’s Geraldine….
Wish Medea had a Facebook page and sent out Madea stories... a smile a day!!
September 30, 2012
This was an ok book. I wanted to love it because it was written by Tyler Perry. The only problem is: if you've seen a couple Madea plays, then you've read this book. It's more recommended for anyone who hasn't seen too many of the plays or movies.
August 5, 2012
Madea is hilarious as always. There were many times I was laughing out loud. However, much of the advice shared is commonly known. It has been cited in other books or is general knowledge. She provided reminders in a humorous way.
March 2, 2014
Every Madea movie or play I've seen is filled with laughter and more importantly, life lessons and this book was no different. I could hear Madea's voice in my mind throughout this whole book and it was fun to read. If you enjoy the movies, you'll enjoy this book.
November 28, 2011
I hate I bought this book. It had a few funny parts, but overall, it just wasn't good.
March 25, 2012
I expected more from Madea. Still love her though!
September 1, 2014
Fantastic!
It's like I could hear Madea saying these things right to my face. Bravo tho Ms. Simmons and Mr. Perry on creating such a funny, practical work!
It's like I could hear Madea saying these things right to my face. Bravo tho Ms. Simmons and Mr. Perry on creating such a funny, practical work!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 280 reviews