Otherwise Engaged: The Life of Alan Bates

by Donald Spoto

In 1956, at the age of 22, Alan Bates was cast in John Osborne's controversial play, Look Back in Anger. The play changed the course of British theatre -- and of Alan's life. With a sudden rush of fame, he became a member of a new circle of actors at the Royal the English Stage Company. He also worked steadily in major films, from A Kind of Loving and Zorba the Greek to Women in Love - and he won international acclaim for his performance as Guy Burgess in the television adaptation of An Englishman Abroad. During his career, he appeared in more than 80 plays, 45 films and 32 television dramas, including major works by Simon Gray, Harold Pinter and Alan Bennett. Donald Spoto chronicles his achievements as a performer against the backdrop of a complicated personal life. Alan's friends, family and fellow actors provide rich, poignant and often astonishing anecdotes. His twenty-year marriage to the clever but disturbed Victoria Ward, an unconventional union which resulted in shared child-rearing but separate homes and lives, provides a contrast to his hitherto hidden, sometimes passionate and often tortured liaisons with other women and with men. Despite this, he and Victoria never divorced, and family was very important to Bates. In 1990, tragedy struck when, at 19, his son Tristan died under mysterious circumstances. Not long after, Victoria also died, leaving Tristan's twin, Benedick, and Alan suddenly alone, a shadow of the family they had been. Drawing on dozens of interviews with Alan Bates's family, his lovers, colleagues and friends -- and mining a rich store of primary research -- this exclusively authorised biography paints a portrait of a complex and remarkable personality.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, Film

Hardcover

First published January 1, 2007

About the author

A prolific and respected biographer and theologian, Donald Spoto is the author of twenty published books, among them bestselling biographies of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Alfred Hitchcock, Tennessee Williams, and Ingrid Bergman. His books have been translated into more than twenty languages. Donald Spoto earned his Ph.D. in theology at Fordham University. After years as a theology professor, he turned to fulltime writing. The Hidden Jesus: A New Life, published in 1999, was hailed by the Los Angeles Times as "offering a mature faith fit for the new millennium." His successful biography of Saint Francis was published in 2002.

Reviews

[HR-ML · Rating 2 out of 5]

Alan Bates was a great star of theatre, films + television,
he ultimately won 2 Tony awards, a BAFTA, etc. Some of
my fav films of his included: Zorba the Greek, The Go-
Between, The Fixer, The Rose, Women in Love, Gosford Pk.
Gave this book 2.5 stars.

His father, a good enough oboist to be in a symphony
(instead became an insurance agent) ditto for his pianist
Mum, Mary, thought Alan could not support himself as an
actor. Alan started the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts (a
2 yr program) at age 17!!! The rest was history.

Alan told his brother Martin, 5 yrs his junior, that he was
a bi-sexual. The author asserted that Alan had a marked
preference for male sexual liaisons (1 lasted 10 yrs) with
an occasional female liaison. An issue b/c Alan wanted a
facade of a middle class hetero lifestyle. Sad that he could
not acknowledge his closeness w/ several men. His closest
female relationships were w/ beautiful, anorexic, Victoria
Valerie Ward (they wed and had twin boys), Angharad Rees
(of Poldark fame), & reportedly Joanna Pettet.

Alan wanted to be a father, but not tied down, he wanted
to come/ go as he pleased, a necessity as his acting often
required him to travel. Alan felt attracted to gentle spirit
Victoria whose moodiness soon seemed more accurately
to be described as mental illness. Vic wanted to stay
independent also. She moved + started/ stopped jobs
frequently, had casual sex partners, didn't believe in soap
(to bathe & wash clothes). She stayed up many nights w/o
sleep. (Signs/ symptoms of bi-polar disorder, as I learned
in 2 jobs in the mental health field. ) Alan hired nannies etc
to assist Vic with the babies while he was away, but she fired
them.

It did not take long for Alan+ wife to see they were vastly
incompatible, then they resided in separate abodes. Sons
Benedick + Tristan (stayed w/ mom) were underfed and
showed unhygienic tendencies. And although bright, both
underperformed in school. Alan turned a blind eye to this
(as did the author). The boys at age 12 confronted dad RE
this. He bought house next door to his (to house his sons)
and connected the 2 homes. He brought helpers for his sons
& could still have casual sex (or otherwise) in his home.
Tristan at age 19 died of a tragic drug OD in Japan.

What did the UK law say about Alan's responsibility to his
young sons + his mentally/ physically declining wife (they
never divorced)? The author skipped over this. Are we to
conclude a great actor can be otherwise a jerk? Alan's good
friend voiced, "I feel that gay men who marry (females) are
terribly unfair to women.... sometimes he didn't think what
he was doing."

Alan developed diabetes, cancer (the cause of his death) and
had a stroke. He acted in several plays w/ his son Ben before
Alan's health totally collapsed.

Part of me was glad I read this, part of me felt the opposite.

[jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bio of one of my favorite actors. After Bates' death in 2003, his son, brother and many friends handed over to Spoto a lifetime of paperwork kept by Bates. Using his personal and professional letters and contracts, along with interviews, Spoto put together a biography that was much more personal than Bates would allow during his lifetime.
At the heart of this book is Bates' need to keep his homosexuality a secret, both to ensure his ability to get the big leading man roles and to be comfortable with himself, as he saw himself in many of his roles. Spoto provides information about Bates' roles, where and when they were filmed, how much he was paid (surprising little until the 70's) and how Bates felt about his films. But the focus of the book is Bates' personal life. He was a devoted son who did everything he could to make his aging parents comfortable and had strong bonds with his brothers, yet was so determined to distance himself from his marriage that for many years he allowed his own twin boys to live in squalor and be starved by their unbalanced mother. This is a fast-paced and sometimes sad story about someone who seemed to be constantly running.

[Russell Sanders · Rating 4 out of 5]

The celebrated actor Sir Alan Bates, in biographer Donald Spoto’s Otherwise Engaged, The Life of Alan Bates, was like many of the characters Bates played with brilliance during his long career. We are presented with a terribly conflicted man who could not find happiness in any of his personal relationships; a man who married a mentally ill woman and was blind to the damage she was inflicting upon herself and their twins; a man who had a series of sexual relationships with men, yet refused commitments and was adamant that he was not homosexual; a man who was almost unnaturally attached to his mother; and finally, a man who was driven in his career and created some of the most memorable characters ever portrayed on stage, screen, and television. Spoto’s telling of Bates’s life is the stuff that good novels are made of. If it weren’t for the biographer’s style—the book is almost all narrative, peppered with lengthy segments from the exhaustive interviews the author conducted—this bio could be quite satisfying as a novel, for we, as readers, are continually yelling at its main character, Bates, pleading for him to open his eyes and do something about the mess he is making of his personal life. But oh what a charmer he was. Everyone loved him, and he was generous to a fault as he navigated his less than fulfilling life. He nursed the sick, he bought homes for his loved ones, and he developed intense friendships with his co-stars and supporting players, oftentimes pouring forth wisdom that young actors, I’m sure, found invaluable instruction. Bates was a complicated person, and though we wish he’d lead a better life for himself, we also see that the world was quite enriched by him.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant book.No hold bars on everything in Alan Bates's life.He had a lot of tragedy towards the end of the book.Fine actor, and great book.
Highly recommanded.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoying this- kept me up reading into the night. a must read if you like actor biographies as much as i do.

[Al · Rating 4 out of 5]

“He took such relish in acting, and he had such a great heart and possessed true dignity – but he could also be mischievous and wicked in a very droll way.”
Harold Pinter’s words described Alan Bates in one of his most famous theatrical roles, Ben Butley, but they could have been easily applied to any number of the British actor’s memorable performances. Bates (who died in 2003 of pancreatic cancer) was one of the leading British actors of his generation. When he arrived in the sixties in “Georgy Girl” and “Far from the Madding Crowd,” he catapulted to leading man roles. If you saw a British art house film in the seventies, Bates was a fixture. And as he aged and grew huskier, he evolved from romantic leads into more offbeat character roles.
After Bates died it is not surprising his family approached veteran celebrity biographer Donald Spoto to work on an authorized biography. With cooperation from friends and family, Spoto provides in “Othewise Engaged” thoughtful insight into Alan Bates’ complicated personal life as well as discerning reviews of nearly every film, television, and theatrical production the prolific Bates enriched. Spoto found that though Bates was a successful actor, he was no prima donna. His fellow actors remembered him as generous and encouraging, promoting a sense of camaraderie.
As for his personal life, Bates’ friend playwright Arthur Laurents’ take on it stands out: ‘He never wanted to be alone, but the minute someone got too close to him, he ran and the relationship ended.’ Bates had some long relationships with men and a 22-year marriage with former model Victoria Ward. The latter resulted in twin sons. Bates was a loving father, but his frequent absences due to work and affairs may have contributed to his wife’s descent into mental illness. She resisted medical and psychiatric help and tragically died from advanced wasting syndrome. During her decline Bates took over care of his teenage sons. One, Tristan, died of an accidental overdose at age nineteen.
Bates was successful at keeping snooping media from finding out about his personal life, perhaps because he himself resisted categorization. As Spoto notes: “Alan always remained terrified of anything like public disclosure about his intimacies with men, invariably denying, even with his lovers, that there was even a homosexual component in his nature.” While that denial did not prevent Bates from taking some gay roles, it resulted in a troubled inner battle throughout his life.
Spoto’s biography is a welcome appreciation of the life of an important actor; it may lead you to revisit his many triumphs in film and television. Recommended.

[Cliff Morrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a solidly researched, clearly written and generally even-handed biography. Both those who do or don't know the actor's work will learn illuminating background or details about Bates's appearances on television, in movies and on stage. Especially interesting are sections on his collaborations with director John Schlesinger. My only real quibble is that here and there, particularly in dealing with Bates's marriage, the author seems too ready always to give him the benefit of the doubt.

[Jay Lesiger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spoto is spot-on in his Alan Bates biography

Bates was a fascinating actor, from his earliest film performances as well as his long and varied stage career in London and NYC, and Spoto, who has specialized in celebrity bios, fully captures the man and his career. Well worth a read, and will make you want to watch all his great film work.

[ellen stephanie ley · Rating 5 out of 5]

beautiful work about a beautiful man

This book portrays a wonderful , kind and compassionate man whose private life was as dramatic as his stage and screen life. I have says loved him and he will always be the definitive Gabriel Oak.

[Ksenia]

dirk bogarde trying to sabotage him during the filming of the fixer (1968)... dudes rock!