None of Your Business: A Novel

by Valerie Block

With a nod to Ed McBain and Fay Weldon, author Valerie Block creates a hilarious tale of a heist gone wrong that ranges from the living rooms of Park Avenue to the parking lot of the White Castle on Queens Boulevard.

Mitch Greiff, celebrity tax accountant and partner in a prestigious Manhattan firm, hates foreign food, strange hotel rooms, and unfamiliarity. He has nightmares about learning new computer software. So when he disappears after a series of sophisticated wire transfers that siphon millions of dollars from his clients’ accounts, Mitch’s partners and estranged wife, Patricia, are completely astonished and confused.

Detective Dennis Sprague of the NYPD Computer Crimes Squad doesn’t buy it. Why would a man who’s had all the breaks in life suddenly go on the lam? Who wakes up, looks around his spacious Upper East Side co-op, gazes at his former-model wife, and says, “The hell with this—I want to live in fear!”

As Sprague investigates, he becomes convinced that Mitch Greiff must have had an accomplice. Sprague works on the assumption that there’s always a girl in the picture. He looks into Patricia, but Mitch’s long-suffering wife never even called Missing Persons, because she didn’t miss him. So Sprague sniffs around the office eye-candy, Heather Perkins, whose signature is on all the wire transfer approvals, and who has a reputation for keeping company with the partners after hours.

And then there’s Erica King, Mitch’s “loophole rabbi.” Sharp, dry, and meticulous, she makes up in financial acumen what she lacks in social graces. The collective assumption around the office is that the acid tongue, floor-length skirts, and dingy white tennis shoes mean that Erica is a virgin and will die that way. But Detective Sprague suspects that there is something more to Erica King than the plainest Jane in Manhattan.

From elegant Park Avenue matrons to nasty asthmatic forgers in Queens, Valerie Block has created a unique cast of characters. She combines a hilarious comedy of manners with a police procedural and strikes fiction gold.

Genres: Mystery, Fiction

352 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2003

Reviews

[Ruchama Feuerman · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's hard to get me to crack a smile when reading, but that's happened with this novel every few pages. And some chuckling, too, which is huge for me. It was the graceless and psychotically anti-social accountant Erika King who really stayed with me. I read this comic mystery book a few years ago and she's still there in my mind, on occasion. So bizarre and yet so believable. I'll take well drawn characters in whatever genre I can find them. The book's a hoot, a fun, fast totally non serious read, and not what I usually go for at all --but this time I'm glad I did. So entertaining.

[Mary · Rating 2 out of 5]

At first i enjoyed it but after a while I stopped liking any of the characters or even caring what happened to them.

[Ellis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Joining the chorus of people - is there a chorus? there should be - asking what exactly is up with this cover, which is so far removed from the contents therein as to be absurd.

[Sherie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many people do not like the main character but I loved her. She is very witty, strange, and does her own thing regardless of what people think. There was a lot of character development, even with all the characters. It's a bit hard to follow in the beginning as you learn on the characters, but ultimately there's only 3 or 4 that the book actually focuses on. Very enjoyable read, will reread at some point.

[Cheryl · Rating 1 out of 5]

Could not finish this book. Gave up after a few chapters as I didn't care for the writing style. It was too choppy and bounced around too much, couldn't get into the flow of it.

[LyndaIn Oregon · Rating 2 out of 5]

This dreary caper tale of an investment advisor who disappears with $103 million of his clients' funds, never really caught fire for me.

The biggest problem was that there was no one to root for. All the characters were either selfish, whiny, manipulative, or larcenous -- and frequently some combination of all of the above. If I hadn't been reading this as part of a book challenge, I wouldn't have finished it.

[Fiona Forthe · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun read, with plenty of interesting characters and a good plot.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious.

[Deborah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious book with unique and lively story line. Loved it

[Karen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Could not follow the path the story was taking, so gave up

[Kristina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great book. I loved the twist to the story.

[Sophie Corroon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not well written ; dragged on

[E · Rating 2 out of 5]

Amusing at first, but then confusing.

[Markel]

Apparently I just cant handle this authors writing. I tried another one of this authors books the other day and i couldnt get through that one either. This author is just not for me.

[Sandi · Rating 3 out of 5]

While none of the characters in this book were remotely likable, I did enjoy the plot that focused on the investigation of a missing CPA to the stars who seems to have absconded with a large amount of money and the dark humor.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an enjoyable read; a well-thought-out plot filled with humorous characters and dialogue, and detailed descriptions of cyber crime. I really enjoyed the characters of Erica King and Mitch Grieff as well as the subordinate ones of detectives Dennis Sprague and Tony Ballestrino. Not quite on the level of Carl Hiassen but entertaining.

[Becca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have the feeling I've read this years ago. I couldn't really remember what happened, so I read the whole thing, but it just seemed very familiar. It was enjoyable enough to read (again maybe), even if the characters were all sort of miserable.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Huh. This is happening with all of my Valerie Block reviews. I think she's great, and I remember when I read this book in 2005 being very impressed with how this book came together. But again, I see that this book didn't get very good reviews on here. Well, I still think it was great.

[Joanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a really enjoyable mystery novel, and one where the reader gets to see all the moving parts. It walks the line between humor and suspense with a compelling plot and wonderfully rendered characters.

[Heather · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book bored me!

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

An unusual plot and some very strange characters, but fun nonetheless.

[Carlanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good read! Interesting characters, modern office issues, white-collar crime, and it's funny.

[Claire · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun read! Loved the ending. Someone please explain what the heck the cover has to do with the book though?

[Frederick Bingham · Rating 1 out of 5]

I could not get interested in this.

[Dena · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kind of a cool story line. The character Mitch was a wimp. Sort of got tired of him after a few chapters. Loved the ending though.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay for a quick don't have to think too hard book. Ending was unbelievable--ok for a 50 cent book from the used bookstore..............

[Pat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick and quirky.
Erica masterminds theft of clients money. Manages to snare her boss.
Erica has 3 identities.
Light reading, but amusing.

[Liz Koehler · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't know that I'd call it a "hilarious tale" but it was quick and entertaining. A good beach read.

[Michele · Rating 3 out of 5]

None of the characters are that compelling. I liked the concept of the story. Sometimes the multiple personalities of Erica were hard to follow. This book was ok, but never rose above that level.

[Ali Noble · Rating 3 out of 5]

this book was amusing, nothing to look our for on the bookshelves or anything...