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The End of Sexual Identity: Why Sex Is Too Important to Define Who We Are
Sexual identity has become an idol in both the culture at large and in the Christian subculture. And yet concepts like "gay" or "straight" are relatively recent developments in human history. We let ourselves be defined by socially constructed notions of sexual identity and sexual orientation--even though these may not be the only or best ways to think about sexuality. Anthropologist Jenell Williams Paris offers a Christian framework for sexual holiness that accounts for complex postmodern realities. She assesses problems with popular cultural and Christian understandings of heterosexuality and homosexuality alike. The End of Sexual Identity moves beyond culture-war impasses to open up new space for conversations in diverse communities both inside and outside the church.
160 pages, Paperback
First published February 22, 2011
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January 16, 2020
Jenell Williams Paris makes some interesting points about sexuality, gender, and identity, by looking at the history of thought around these issues and holding modern American cultural assumptions up to some scrutiny. These are always important activities, particularly for Christians trying to understand how Biblical teaching applies in a contemporary context. Because of these contributions, I think Paris is probably necessary reading for Christians trying to make sense out of Biblical teaching and modern questions about gender identity and same-sex relationships. I certainly found some of it very helpful.
That said, this book is unsatisfying and even problematic. For readers looking for deep engagement with questions of right or wrong around sexuality and gender, this book may leave them with more questions than they came in with. That's okay; I appreciate nuance on this issue much more than black-and-white pronouncements. The bigger problem is the way this book dismisses gender and orientation as aspects of identity. Paris makes some good points about how these were never considered part of human identity until recently, and the pitfalls of resting one's identity on something as potentially fluid (over a lifetime) as sexual orientation. But she doesn't adequately address the reasons sexual orientation and gender may be important to identity--how they may affect one's experience of life and self even more than the other aspects of identity we take for granted. Also, she doesn't deal with the critical need for some LGBTQI+ people to positively reclaim these aspects of their identity, which have been used to bring them harm. If someone has been discriminated against, slandered, and made to experience deep shame and confusion over their sexual orientation or gender (identity or expression), it may be very important, even necessary for one's emotional health, to reclaim that identity in a positive form. It all feels a bit like when white people tell people of color that race isn't real. It's like saying, "Sure, everyone ELSE is going to view you through this lens, and it's going to frequently and systemically be used against you in abusive ways. But YOU aren't allowed to see yourself in light of it, or consider it in positive ways." I'm confident Paris means well here, but this line of thinking contributes to ongoing injustice, abuse, and the continuing trend of straight people (especially straight Christians) telling LGBTQI+ people how to feel about themselves.
If straight Christians truly want to love LGBTQI+ people, and if LGBTQI+ Christians want to grow as disciples of Jesus and human beings, no matter their interpretation of the Bible, they're going to need to deal better with the realities of how orientation and gender impact identity. This book asks some important questions, but ultimately doesn't go far enough, and may even be harmful in some of its conclusions.
That said, this book is unsatisfying and even problematic. For readers looking for deep engagement with questions of right or wrong around sexuality and gender, this book may leave them with more questions than they came in with. That's okay; I appreciate nuance on this issue much more than black-and-white pronouncements. The bigger problem is the way this book dismisses gender and orientation as aspects of identity. Paris makes some good points about how these were never considered part of human identity until recently, and the pitfalls of resting one's identity on something as potentially fluid (over a lifetime) as sexual orientation. But she doesn't adequately address the reasons sexual orientation and gender may be important to identity--how they may affect one's experience of life and self even more than the other aspects of identity we take for granted. Also, she doesn't deal with the critical need for some LGBTQI+ people to positively reclaim these aspects of their identity, which have been used to bring them harm. If someone has been discriminated against, slandered, and made to experience deep shame and confusion over their sexual orientation or gender (identity or expression), it may be very important, even necessary for one's emotional health, to reclaim that identity in a positive form. It all feels a bit like when white people tell people of color that race isn't real. It's like saying, "Sure, everyone ELSE is going to view you through this lens, and it's going to frequently and systemically be used against you in abusive ways. But YOU aren't allowed to see yourself in light of it, or consider it in positive ways." I'm confident Paris means well here, but this line of thinking contributes to ongoing injustice, abuse, and the continuing trend of straight people (especially straight Christians) telling LGBTQI+ people how to feel about themselves.
If straight Christians truly want to love LGBTQI+ people, and if LGBTQI+ Christians want to grow as disciples of Jesus and human beings, no matter their interpretation of the Bible, they're going to need to deal better with the realities of how orientation and gender impact identity. This book asks some important questions, but ultimately doesn't go far enough, and may even be harmful in some of its conclusions.
December 12, 2012
The issue of homosexuality is possibly the most important cultural issue confronting the Church today. I picked this book up after several recommendtations from trusted friends and mentors. It was fantastic.
To cut straight to the core of the book, Paris argues that the Church has used eighteenth century terms and nineteenth century tactics to confront homosexuality in the 21st centure, which is bad. She argues (correctly, in my view) that these tactics have defined the entire conversation, and in so doing, done irreparable harm to the Church and those they oppose. She points out that the terms "heterosexual" and "homosexual" as sexual identites were first coined in the 1830s by scientists, and both terms referred to sexual deviency. Relying on Cartesian models of Enlightenment philosophy for their structures, these scientists posited that human beings have rigid and unchanging "sexual identities."
Not so, says Paris, marshaling a host of evidence to point out that sexual identity is fluid (the vast majority of both men and women have, at various points in their lives, experienced some form of same-sex attraction, and most of those who would classify themselves as "gay" also experience opposite-sex attractions at various points.
But the Church has picked up this "unchangable, static" identity concept and refused to part with it, which colors all of her conversations on the subject. For instance, she points out that while St. Paul had no concept of a "sexual identity" like hetero or homo sexual desire, our emphasis on this Caresian aspect has shifted the point of sin for homosexuals from the acts themselves, to the point of desire. The very fact that they have such desires or attractions becomes the sin, rather than the deeds performed.
She also points out that the presupposition on the entire concept of "sexual identity" is selfish desire. It shifts sexual matters from a corporate aspect (something two people do) to the individual (I am attracted to this or that). It also assumes an "if it feels good, do it" mindset, allowing desire to define our identity (I am what I want).
In contrast, she roots our identity in Christ, not in our own desires, and calls for the Church to ditch the unhelpful binary of "hetero" and "homo" labels. Instead, she says, the Church should focus on sexual holiness and brokenness, whether of same-sex or opposite sex desires are in view. Ultimately unable to get around the texts against homosexuality in Scripture, she calls for radical celibacy on the part of anyone who does not fit into the category of married men and women, calling on the Church to make room for these struggling and broken people by making space for them to serve the Kingdom in their radical celibacy, to bear their burdens with them, mourn and extend forgiveness when they stumble, and work with them in everything.
Such a vision and a radical re-ordering of the whole debate is vitally necessary for today's church, which seems to have become perennially stuck in the mire of our cultural and political debates.
To cut straight to the core of the book, Paris argues that the Church has used eighteenth century terms and nineteenth century tactics to confront homosexuality in the 21st centure, which is bad. She argues (correctly, in my view) that these tactics have defined the entire conversation, and in so doing, done irreparable harm to the Church and those they oppose. She points out that the terms "heterosexual" and "homosexual" as sexual identites were first coined in the 1830s by scientists, and both terms referred to sexual deviency. Relying on Cartesian models of Enlightenment philosophy for their structures, these scientists posited that human beings have rigid and unchanging "sexual identities."
Not so, says Paris, marshaling a host of evidence to point out that sexual identity is fluid (the vast majority of both men and women have, at various points in their lives, experienced some form of same-sex attraction, and most of those who would classify themselves as "gay" also experience opposite-sex attractions at various points.
But the Church has picked up this "unchangable, static" identity concept and refused to part with it, which colors all of her conversations on the subject. For instance, she points out that while St. Paul had no concept of a "sexual identity" like hetero or homo sexual desire, our emphasis on this Caresian aspect has shifted the point of sin for homosexuals from the acts themselves, to the point of desire. The very fact that they have such desires or attractions becomes the sin, rather than the deeds performed.
She also points out that the presupposition on the entire concept of "sexual identity" is selfish desire. It shifts sexual matters from a corporate aspect (something two people do) to the individual (I am attracted to this or that). It also assumes an "if it feels good, do it" mindset, allowing desire to define our identity (I am what I want).
In contrast, she roots our identity in Christ, not in our own desires, and calls for the Church to ditch the unhelpful binary of "hetero" and "homo" labels. Instead, she says, the Church should focus on sexual holiness and brokenness, whether of same-sex or opposite sex desires are in view. Ultimately unable to get around the texts against homosexuality in Scripture, she calls for radical celibacy on the part of anyone who does not fit into the category of married men and women, calling on the Church to make room for these struggling and broken people by making space for them to serve the Kingdom in their radical celibacy, to bear their burdens with them, mourn and extend forgiveness when they stumble, and work with them in everything.
Such a vision and a radical re-ordering of the whole debate is vitally necessary for today's church, which seems to have become perennially stuck in the mire of our cultural and political debates.
February 1, 2018
I love Janell's thoughts and view. I have been challenged by her to reexamine the importance I have place on sexuality a core defining identity. I am at the core of my identity beloved. While I agree and would advocate for an ending of sexual identity I just don't see how that can happen. I would like to hear from her how to practically apply her views to everyday life.
June 10, 2012
I was researching before writing an aritcle and found the book that encompassed my article! In the ongoing, divisive debate on homosexuality, I have been disturbed by the faulty emphasis on "identity" as a reason to make choices and distinctions among us. This book effectively undermines that choice and appropriately substitutes discernment in its place. This book helps to keep a healthy dialogue going instead of unhealthy and unecessary separation. It suggests better approaches, past and future, that can get us to holiness, not more judgment.
January 12, 2013
Highly recommend for anyone in the American church. Paris writes from a steeply cultural perspective, not a theological one, which is part of what makes this so valuable in a conversation that's dominated by the intricacies of doctrine and biblical hermeneutics. I've read a lot on this topic, and this is the first book I recommend to other Christians regarding sexuality and sexual identity.
January 21, 2016
It's social constructionism... for Christians. Don't get me wrong; this is certainly a unique approach, but it's not very thorough, definitely disorganized, and not written at a very high level.
July 2, 2024
I was first introduced to this book in college and then returned to read it again a few years later. I appreciate the author's gentle approach to the subject matter and how she shares stories of college students interacting with material. I also appreciate that the author frequently references her own life and experience, which is helpful while understanding the conclusions she has come to.
I feel as though I would not be the only one to complain that early on the author brought up one of the most recurring questions for Christians - "is homosexuality a sin?" - but then never fully returned to the question later on in the book. The rest of the book was spent addressing the entire concept of sexual identity and why sexual identity labeling is not a helpful way to understand ourselves or other people. I see how this applies to the question, obviously, but it did sort of feel like a way out of the question at the same time. It was mildly confusing or unclear that the author and other Christians mentioned in the book still seem to maintain a firm stance on same-sex relationships even though she never explicitly stated what that position was. It would have been even more interesting if she could have wrestled with some of the Biblical passages that seemingly refer to same-sex behavior and then talked about possible ways to understand what the Bible says on the subject. At the end, the author could have reconnected her arguments with the question raised at the start of the book about whether or not homosexuality is a sin. She could have shown the faults of sexual identity categories as she did, and then returned to the homosexuality question with a new way of looking at it or even offering a different and better question to ask. I also would have loved if she questioned what we mean by "sin" in the homosexuality question, but again I can see how that is not fitting with the overall intentions of the book, so perhaps my complaint is not meant to be answered and that is okay.
What I do really like is that she is able to zoom out enough to question the very framework of our language and society by pointing out the flaws in our identity labeling tendencies (which makes sense seeing as the author is an anthropologist...). And I understand that it was never the point of the book in the first place to answer the question that I personally arrived with. So with my question set aside, the author did a great job of questioning societal norms and conventions and challenging us as Christians to change the way that we understand sexuality and its aspects.
Personally, I find it most helpful to consider that we as Christians should be seeking to surrender every aspect of our sexuality over to Jesus, whether that includes same-sex attractions or not. I think this is where her paper bag example would really apply... we should be handing every one of those cans and boxes inside over to Jesus to do with as he pleases. Even if we do not fully understand what that will look like or mean. Jesus is the answer at the end of the day.
I feel as though I would not be the only one to complain that early on the author brought up one of the most recurring questions for Christians - "is homosexuality a sin?" - but then never fully returned to the question later on in the book. The rest of the book was spent addressing the entire concept of sexual identity and why sexual identity labeling is not a helpful way to understand ourselves or other people. I see how this applies to the question, obviously, but it did sort of feel like a way out of the question at the same time. It was mildly confusing or unclear that the author and other Christians mentioned in the book still seem to maintain a firm stance on same-sex relationships even though she never explicitly stated what that position was. It would have been even more interesting if she could have wrestled with some of the Biblical passages that seemingly refer to same-sex behavior and then talked about possible ways to understand what the Bible says on the subject. At the end, the author could have reconnected her arguments with the question raised at the start of the book about whether or not homosexuality is a sin. She could have shown the faults of sexual identity categories as she did, and then returned to the homosexuality question with a new way of looking at it or even offering a different and better question to ask. I also would have loved if she questioned what we mean by "sin" in the homosexuality question, but again I can see how that is not fitting with the overall intentions of the book, so perhaps my complaint is not meant to be answered and that is okay.
What I do really like is that she is able to zoom out enough to question the very framework of our language and society by pointing out the flaws in our identity labeling tendencies (which makes sense seeing as the author is an anthropologist...). And I understand that it was never the point of the book in the first place to answer the question that I personally arrived with. So with my question set aside, the author did a great job of questioning societal norms and conventions and challenging us as Christians to change the way that we understand sexuality and its aspects.
Personally, I find it most helpful to consider that we as Christians should be seeking to surrender every aspect of our sexuality over to Jesus, whether that includes same-sex attractions or not. I think this is where her paper bag example would really apply... we should be handing every one of those cans and boxes inside over to Jesus to do with as he pleases. Even if we do not fully understand what that will look like or mean. Jesus is the answer at the end of the day.
January 19, 2023
I don't know how to feel about this book, but I give it three stars for its impressive ideas. Paris writes from an anthropological perspective about sexual identity and then explores the Christian church's response(s) to current notions of sexual identity. Interestingly, the book is both ahead of its time and very dated. Paris' strength in the book recognized the role of identity, and I felt myself working in agreement as she considered the nuances within the typical black-and-white moral conversations. I was extremely thankful for her scholarship in this area, which helped enunciate new territories to consider. Because it was written in 2011, it might be a product of the time when her identification with the Christian moral construct of sexuality is both thoughtful and quite dangerous. Paris does an excellent job in the area of the church navigating new ways to consider identity. The danger is found in her seeming observance that reparative therapy is sometimes useful. Here I almost put down the book. As a clinical psychologist, her research was lacking, and her conclusions were heartbreaking. The APA made several statements and showed several studies of the problematic nature and the connection with suicide involved in reparative therapy in 1997. This book considers some people changing as positive, meaning though well-intentioned, Paris walks back much of her argument from the anthropological view, and I found that highly disconcerting. I also felt she has probably moved on from this view in the last 12 years; I know I have. So I am going to offer grace in that area. Hopefully, this review can help you decide whether the book is for you to read.
January 1, 2025
I honestly agree with the main thesis of this book, that our identities are not primarily found in our sexual orientations. However, I disagree that we should throw out the vocabulary altogether, mostly because there are some that experience only same-sex attraction, and ignoring this very big part of themselves or shaming it won't work out well in the morning (as we can see from the ex-gay movement of the 90's)
The book just feels old and out of date. It was written in 2011, which wasn't that long ago, but we've learned a lot about orientation in the past 15-30 years. Also, the author makes her points well at the beginning of the book, to the point where this might be better as an article than a book.
I do appreciate that the book makes it clear that heterosexuality is not to be an idol either. Paris's voice adds a little something to the conversation but doesn't "hold water" in real life.
The book just feels old and out of date. It was written in 2011, which wasn't that long ago, but we've learned a lot about orientation in the past 15-30 years. Also, the author makes her points well at the beginning of the book, to the point where this might be better as an article than a book.
I do appreciate that the book makes it clear that heterosexuality is not to be an idol either. Paris's voice adds a little something to the conversation but doesn't "hold water" in real life.
January 11, 2018
The End of Sexual Identity is worth reading just for the chapter on celibacy. As a celibate single Christian, I felt like the author spoke to all the elements within the church I personally have felt at odds with, including the idolization of marriage and the lack of adequate support that could make celibacy a viable option.
This quotation sums up the feel of the book: no one, regardless of sexual desire, orientation, values, or ethics, really has a corner on the market of 'perfect sexuality.' Paris exhorts readers to pursue sexual holiness and to do the work to discover what that means.
When it comes to sex, there is no privileged, holy “we” and no sinful, troubled “them”; there’s only us, each of whom finds both virtue and vice in sexuality.
This quotation sums up the feel of the book: no one, regardless of sexual desire, orientation, values, or ethics, really has a corner on the market of 'perfect sexuality.' Paris exhorts readers to pursue sexual holiness and to do the work to discover what that means.
March 27, 2020
Really interesting work. She takes an approach that to me read as a constant tension between a secular anthropological viewpoint and a more pastoral application side. .At times it's hard to tell what she thinks about the ideas she's presenting, which I actually don't mind. So much of the material itself was a very fresh and helpful perspective on a topic that is all often presented as a very closed argument. Loved the perspective, will be thinking through what was brought up in this book for a long time. Great read.
December 21, 2020
Anthropologist says the concept of “gay” and “straight” are recent inventions, and the more we are stuck in the “sexual identity framework” the more trapped and polarized we become. She takes a traditional stance in a surprising way, urging people to move past the boxed-in categories of “homosexual” and “heterosexual” and pursue sexual holiness as the path of discipleship.
I don't know how workable and satisfying this perspective would be for many people. But it is a creative take on LGBTQ issues.
I don't know how workable and satisfying this perspective would be for many people. But it is a creative take on LGBTQ issues.
May 4, 2019
On the one hand Dr. Paris' book is both fantastic and very disappointing. It is fantastic because it DOES reframe the conversation away from identity, which is super and desperately needed. Its disappointing, because it does not really flesh out the full implications of this paradigm change, nor does it delve into ascetical theology proper (perhaps too much to ask from Protestants) into which a paradigm shift like this would naturally led to.
March 24, 2023
Paris does a great job challenging the popular Christian views on sexuality. Without telling you what to think, she offers plenty of Biblical and sociological insight on how we often mistake cultural values for Biblical ones, and how we can untangle some of those beliefs. Though the main topic is sexual identity (heterosexual, LGBTQ), she also just challenges how we think about sex, sexual attraction, sexual behaviors, chastity, and identity in general.
July 5, 2021
A bit dated now in some of its lingo and such, but the overall thesis is interesting. Congruent with others, mostly in the side B sexuality + fair convo, like Yarhouse. But again, it's a bit dated. Doesn't address trans issues much. The convo has evolved since this point. But I do appreciate this read.
August 10, 2017
This has been an interesting addition to my stack of books about sexuality. Paris approaches the issue from an anthropological/sociological angle, which was fascinating. She challenged me to put our culture's current madness concerning sexual identity into its historical place.
December 31, 2020
fascinating
Read
November 28, 2021BIG disclaimer that this was for a class
December 18, 2023
Interesting.
October 13, 2015
Jenell Williams Paris' The End of Sexual Identity sets the churches' debates over LGBT inclusion within in the framework of the social construction of sexual identity.
For Paris sex is very important, but our sexually-oriented identities are not so much. Some may "Amen" this, mishearing her message as "love the sinner, hate the sin" (LTSHTS). But, while Paris owns up to her conservative background (right there in the Introduction) and admits her continued Side B perspective, she speaks squarely in opposition to any LTSHTS mantra or strategy. Instead, Paris advocates for recanting Christianity's investment in "homosexual" and well as "heterosexual" identities. We're not primarily straight or gay; primarily, we're beloved of God.
TESI turns the screw further. Rather than analyzing LGBT sexuality first and foremost, TESI reserves most of its energy to dismantling heterosexuality as a proper Christian identity. Paris operates from a concern that identifying as heterosexual is actually a subtle (possibly unthinking) power play. It establishes me (and whatever sexual choices I make) as somehow the norm, while allowing me to look down on others as less "holy" than I am.
For Paris, it's inappropriate to identify ourselves by our sexual desires. Desire is precisely one of the key areas in which Christians pray to be made over into the image of Christ. Straight or gay, our desires are always fluctuating, shifting; they're to some degree fluid. This is true both sociologically and theologically. Instead of carving up or ramrodding persons into distinct desire-based categories, how much better to welcome everyone to honestly name their desires, to discern together what pleases God (Ro 12), and to call all to repentance from what is broken and renewal--being transformed into the mind of Christ (NOT into the models set up by some ex-gay programs). Sexual desires, as Paris puts it, is "(not) a big deal."
I found this book provocative. It's kept me thinking and rethinking the way I imagine sexual identity. If I refrain from (and resist the wide pressure to) identify myself and others on the basis of what we are attracted to, what better way do I have of imagining sexuality?
Paris offers numerous relational roles that situate sex (e.g., wife, mother, sister, professor). I like putting relationships to the fore. Yet I also am aware that desire is powerful. Jamie Smith in Desiring the Kingdom convinced me of that. But perhaps relationships, community-connectedness, and transformation into the image of Christ provide guiding forms to shape that desire. I'm obviously still thinking here.
Definitely a book well worth reading.
For Paris sex is very important, but our sexually-oriented identities are not so much. Some may "Amen" this, mishearing her message as "love the sinner, hate the sin" (LTSHTS). But, while Paris owns up to her conservative background (right there in the Introduction) and admits her continued Side B perspective, she speaks squarely in opposition to any LTSHTS mantra or strategy. Instead, Paris advocates for recanting Christianity's investment in "homosexual" and well as "heterosexual" identities. We're not primarily straight or gay; primarily, we're beloved of God.
TESI turns the screw further. Rather than analyzing LGBT sexuality first and foremost, TESI reserves most of its energy to dismantling heterosexuality as a proper Christian identity. Paris operates from a concern that identifying as heterosexual is actually a subtle (possibly unthinking) power play. It establishes me (and whatever sexual choices I make) as somehow the norm, while allowing me to look down on others as less "holy" than I am.
For Paris, it's inappropriate to identify ourselves by our sexual desires. Desire is precisely one of the key areas in which Christians pray to be made over into the image of Christ. Straight or gay, our desires are always fluctuating, shifting; they're to some degree fluid. This is true both sociologically and theologically. Instead of carving up or ramrodding persons into distinct desire-based categories, how much better to welcome everyone to honestly name their desires, to discern together what pleases God (Ro 12), and to call all to repentance from what is broken and renewal--being transformed into the mind of Christ (NOT into the models set up by some ex-gay programs). Sexual desires, as Paris puts it, is "(not) a big deal."
I found this book provocative. It's kept me thinking and rethinking the way I imagine sexual identity. If I refrain from (and resist the wide pressure to) identify myself and others on the basis of what we are attracted to, what better way do I have of imagining sexuality?
Paris offers numerous relational roles that situate sex (e.g., wife, mother, sister, professor). I like putting relationships to the fore. Yet I also am aware that desire is powerful. Jamie Smith in Desiring the Kingdom convinced me of that. But perhaps relationships, community-connectedness, and transformation into the image of Christ provide guiding forms to shape that desire. I'm obviously still thinking here.
Definitely a book well worth reading.
November 2, 2013
FASCINATING.
This book takes a look at why it's a bad thing that we (Americans, modern society, Christians) are so consumed with sexual identity rather than as people. If you have any thoughts or opinions on these things, I would highly recommend reading this book.
Some quotes:
On identity: "A Christian view might make different sense of wanting and of being...sexual desire may be simple, complicated, distorted or confused, and when desire is troubled, it is a very serious matter for the person experiencing it. But no matter the condition of our desire, the identity category is still 'beloved human being.'"
On celibacy--homosexual OR heterosexual--an important point: "People are commanded to abstain from sexual pleasure and intimacy, but no on addresses how abstention may also limit the person's access to family, touch, children, financial stability, and so on. It's hard to be a celibate person in an unchaste church whose broader context is an unchaste society."
On realities of struggle: "It's important--and within many churches, certainly countercultural--to understand why Christians often choose against chastity. It's not always that they're choosing a bad thing (sexual hedonism) over a good thing (morality). Sometimes they might be choosing a good thing that is real (a sexual relationship outside of marriage) over a good thing that doesn't even exist (a well-supported and relationally rich celibate life in the church).
On the bridge between different camps regardless of what they are (Christians/non Christians or homosexuals/heterosexuals: "When it comes to sex, there is no privileged, holy "we" and no sinful, troubled "them;" there's only us-each of whom finds both virtue and vice in sexuality....love of God and neighbor, the heart of holiness, has to be practiced in the real world in the midst of these disagreements."
Basically the point is that no person or set of people is better or worse than the other before God and serving Him and ministering relationally is more important than divisive and hateful separations within the church body.
This book takes a look at why it's a bad thing that we (Americans, modern society, Christians) are so consumed with sexual identity rather than as people. If you have any thoughts or opinions on these things, I would highly recommend reading this book.
Some quotes:
On identity: "A Christian view might make different sense of wanting and of being...sexual desire may be simple, complicated, distorted or confused, and when desire is troubled, it is a very serious matter for the person experiencing it. But no matter the condition of our desire, the identity category is still 'beloved human being.'"
On celibacy--homosexual OR heterosexual--an important point: "People are commanded to abstain from sexual pleasure and intimacy, but no on addresses how abstention may also limit the person's access to family, touch, children, financial stability, and so on. It's hard to be a celibate person in an unchaste church whose broader context is an unchaste society."
On realities of struggle: "It's important--and within many churches, certainly countercultural--to understand why Christians often choose against chastity. It's not always that they're choosing a bad thing (sexual hedonism) over a good thing (morality). Sometimes they might be choosing a good thing that is real (a sexual relationship outside of marriage) over a good thing that doesn't even exist (a well-supported and relationally rich celibate life in the church).
On the bridge between different camps regardless of what they are (Christians/non Christians or homosexuals/heterosexuals: "When it comes to sex, there is no privileged, holy "we" and no sinful, troubled "them;" there's only us-each of whom finds both virtue and vice in sexuality....love of God and neighbor, the heart of holiness, has to be practiced in the real world in the midst of these disagreements."
Basically the point is that no person or set of people is better or worse than the other before God and serving Him and ministering relationally is more important than divisive and hateful separations within the church body.
July 16, 2011
I picked this book up on Wednesday night and finished it Thursday night. That alone should have given it a higher rating. This was an "almost four star" book.
Dr. Paris takes an interesting perspective on the discussion around sexual identity. She argues that in western society we have made the mistake of equating sexual identity with actual identity. She reminds us that the ideas of hetero/homosexuality were created 100 years (both originally as deviant behavior by doctors). As an anthropologist she goes on to break down the different ways sexuality can be dealt with globally and challenges the church to find more appropriate ways, even better ways, to deal with the debate raging in the church today around homosexuality. In doing this she uses her academic background to bring a lot to light that I had never thought about in unpacking sexual identity.
The thing that kept this book from being a 4 star was the fact that I finished the book dissatisfied. Perhaps this is because I like answers (and she is asking questions) but I don't feel like she actually articulated what she sees the church doing to effectively engage the society in this in a loving and discerning way.
I often struggle with academic books that are very adept at unpacking, analyzing and deconstructing, but are hesitant to offer practical suggestions and ideas (for some of the same reasons).
Still I think this book is a worthwhile read for anyone who is wrestling with their theology concerning homosexuality or is looking for discussion starters with friends of any sexual orientation.
Dr. Paris takes an interesting perspective on the discussion around sexual identity. She argues that in western society we have made the mistake of equating sexual identity with actual identity. She reminds us that the ideas of hetero/homosexuality were created 100 years (both originally as deviant behavior by doctors). As an anthropologist she goes on to break down the different ways sexuality can be dealt with globally and challenges the church to find more appropriate ways, even better ways, to deal with the debate raging in the church today around homosexuality. In doing this she uses her academic background to bring a lot to light that I had never thought about in unpacking sexual identity.
The thing that kept this book from being a 4 star was the fact that I finished the book dissatisfied. Perhaps this is because I like answers (and she is asking questions) but I don't feel like she actually articulated what she sees the church doing to effectively engage the society in this in a loving and discerning way.
I often struggle with academic books that are very adept at unpacking, analyzing and deconstructing, but are hesitant to offer practical suggestions and ideas (for some of the same reasons).
Still I think this book is a worthwhile read for anyone who is wrestling with their theology concerning homosexuality or is looking for discussion starters with friends of any sexual orientation.
January 28, 2014
Overall, the book succeeds in breaking down a simplified understanding of sexuality, and opening the mind for deep questioning, regardless of your own beliefs about the morality of sexuality or even your own choices regarding sex. While referencing current research she retains a casual tone making the book incredibly accessible readers not well versed in sociological terms. Within the context of this course, the book offers a view that gently challenges Christians to love despite moral confusion or ambiguity. The book also provides a lexicon for respectfully dialoguing about the touchy subjects of sexuality and gender. The overall implication for readers, especially Christian ones, is that we must not conform to the patterns of this world just because it is the way things have been done. Paris calls for a critical evaluation of our treatment of sexuality and gently asks that we take it off the pedestal; it is not a marker of someone’s spirituality, good or bad, but one small facet of a complex individual. I found this book refreshing and challenging. While Paris has not drastically changed my mind, she has changed the way I interact with sexuality. While at times I found her maddeningly inconclusive, I appreciated that she left it open for individual reflection and thought.
November 16, 2012
Sometimes it seems as though everyone in the country knows exactly where they stand. They're either the Real True Christians holding the line against secularism out of control and those icky homosexuals, or they're the liberated 21st-century human beings who know how to transcend gender and love each other in the face of prejudice and violence that dates back to the Bronze Age. Or, just maybe, they enjoy relative indifference. The Christians and the pagans can duke it out, they don't have a dog in that fight.
Well, in that whole scheme, I just don't fit, and I know that there are a lot of other people who share their own (never quite the same, but related) not-fitting. Neither the left nor the right has given me a lens that doesn't turn everything dirty or murky. I always hoped a book would come along that gave me some insight and perspective - that didn't just say, "Yeah, it's a tough situation!" but actually gave me a new lens with its own power to illuminate and clarify. Thank you, Jenell Paris.
Well, in that whole scheme, I just don't fit, and I know that there are a lot of other people who share their own (never quite the same, but related) not-fitting. Neither the left nor the right has given me a lens that doesn't turn everything dirty or murky. I always hoped a book would come along that gave me some insight and perspective - that didn't just say, "Yeah, it's a tough situation!" but actually gave me a new lens with its own power to illuminate and clarify. Thank you, Jenell Paris.
April 27, 2015
This book was one of the most thought-provoking books I've read in a long time. It was paradigm-shifting. Paris does an exceptional job demonstrating how it's time we move away from thinking of sexual identity in binary terms. In fact, she convincingly shows how sexual identity labels are very recent constructs that just divide people, rather than uniting them, and how these identities are wrongly based on a single factor: a person's sexual desires and attractions. This, she proposes, is completely misled. Above all, she shows how we should cling to one identity: our identity in Christ.
The one huge drawback of the book, which I kept waiting to be resolved, was what this new paradigm looks like on a practical level - both on a personal and corporate level. I was devastated that she didn't wrap the whole book up with a tangible explanation as to how this new approach can be lived.
But I can't recommend this book enough!
The one huge drawback of the book, which I kept waiting to be resolved, was what this new paradigm looks like on a practical level - both on a personal and corporate level. I was devastated that she didn't wrap the whole book up with a tangible explanation as to how this new approach can be lived.
But I can't recommend this book enough!
November 26, 2013
So it's too short, has a couple of awkward moments where the author seems compelled to state her conservative position where it doesn't necessarily fit the flow of the argument, and has a number of other flaws covered well in Eve Tushnet's review http://www.theamericanconservative.co...
That said, Paris works a pretty helpful core supposition: that sexual identity (be it straight, gay, hetero-, homo-, etc.) is a relatively novel concept with a complex history and hasn't served individuals, culture, ethics, or really anyone's personal identity very well. And she touches on a variety of other subjects in interesting ways: a few thoughts on what folks I know might call a centered-set approach to holiness, the limits of desire in fully defining sexuality, and the complexity of anyone's sexuality in general, among other topics.
That said, Paris works a pretty helpful core supposition: that sexual identity (be it straight, gay, hetero-, homo-, etc.) is a relatively novel concept with a complex history and hasn't served individuals, culture, ethics, or really anyone's personal identity very well. And she touches on a variety of other subjects in interesting ways: a few thoughts on what folks I know might call a centered-set approach to holiness, the limits of desire in fully defining sexuality, and the complexity of anyone's sexuality in general, among other topics.
July 30, 2016
This a heavy but important book. I know it’s not at all a book that people would see and think, “Ooh, I should read that!” But when I was working on my term paper about the church and homosexuality, it was such a helpful, insightful, raw perspective to have. It not only helped me with school, it helped me process my own thoughts. If homosexuality and being better informed about it is something that deeply interests you, I would very much recommend this book. It has information about history, culture, psychology, anthropology, and various other important factors when seeking answers. The concept that our identities are much too special to define with isolated aspects of ourselves changed my life, especially in the way I see others and the way I treat myself.
[Originally reviewed here: https://misstessamaye.wordpress.com/2...]
[Originally reviewed here: https://misstessamaye.wordpress.com/2...]
January 17, 2013
Short Review: End of Sexual Identity: Why Sex is Too Import To Define Who We Are by Jenell Williams Paris - a look at how our culture shapes sexual identity. Well worth reading if you are tired of the impasse around gay marriage and homosexuality. I think that Paris adequately illustrates that we cannot just place our modern conceptions of sexuality upon the bible and leave it at that. The weakness of the book is that she does a great job at showing alternative ways of looking at sexuality and bringing up questions, but none of those very good questions get adequately answered. Still it is worth reading for the questions, even if the answers are missing.
Click through for the longer review at my blog http://bookwi.se/end-of-sexual-identity/
Click through for the longer review at my blog http://bookwi.se/end-of-sexual-identity/
November 5, 2011
The core thesis of this book is provocative and helpful: "sexual identity" is a late modern construct that both sides of Christian debates about same-sex attraction have uncritically accepted. (One could draw a parallel between this and recent arguments about race offered by J. Kameron Carter, Willie Jennings, and Brian Bantum.)
If this thesis were going to get any traction in academic discussion, Paris will need to distill this with sufficient scholarly rigor somewhere else (a well-placed article in an appropriate peer-reviewed journal would be most welcome). However, as a conversation starter, this is a great little book--accessible and honest.
If this thesis were going to get any traction in academic discussion, Paris will need to distill this with sufficient scholarly rigor somewhere else (a well-placed article in an appropriate peer-reviewed journal would be most welcome). However, as a conversation starter, this is a great little book--accessible and honest.
December 29, 2011
I gave it five stars because this is the first time I've ever encountered the idea that we (erroneously and unhealthily) view our sexuality as the framework for our identity. Before learning about this book, I had never considered that. But Williams Paris goes much deeper than that, analyzing how that unhealthy framework shapes our interactions, how it impacts the Church, and much, much more.
Williams Paris does a great job of presenting information and suggesting change without ever sounding preachy or pompous. I think this book is worthwhile for anybody, but I think it should be mandatory for anyone in ministry.
Williams Paris does a great job of presenting information and suggesting change without ever sounding preachy or pompous. I think this book is worthwhile for anybody, but I think it should be mandatory for anyone in ministry.
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