Relate Guide To Starting Again

by Sarah Litvinoff

When a relationship finishes it can feel like the end of the world - but it is also a new beginning. In Starting Again, Sarah Litvinoff looks at the lessons that can be learnt from a relationship that has ended and helps you to deal with your feelings of separation, grief and recovery. Through self-assessment questionnaires, tasks and discussion points you will reach a greater understanding of yourself and your relationships and be able to start looking to a positive future. This book will help you to come to terms with your divorce, separation or break up and assess what went wrong, become aware of and break patterns you have unconsciously repeated, enabling you to move on, meet new people and build a fresh social life.

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 27, 1993

About the author

I work as a life coach and writer from my home in Hackney, east London. Writing came first: most of my books and journalism has been aimed at helping people help themselves. I approached Relate, the UK couples’ counselling service in 1990, because I believed their particular brand of wisdom, commonsense and experience needed a wider audience. I pioneered their series of self-help guides, writing the first three and setting the style and standard for the ones that followed. I have given advice more directly as an agony aunt.

Earlier, my involvement with The Working Mothers’ Association (which has now become Working Families) focused my attention towards how many of us struggle to balance our home and working lives. I eventually chaired the organisation for two years, helping cement its particular mix of giving practical advice and support to parents while working to change the culture within companies and affect government policies. I wrote Working Mother: A Practical Handbook (now out of print) — the first and most comprehensive book of its kind — which was affectionately retitled “The Bible” by its readers. My co-author, Marianne Velmans, was a successful publishing executive with two children, I was a self-employed single mother of one, and we also called on the experiences of other experts: dozens of working mothers from all walks of life.

In 1997 I became one of the first 200 life coaches in the UK. At that time there were no organisations offering training here, so I was delighted to connect with Coach University, a virtual provider of training based in the States. The founder, Thomas Leonard was a great example and inspiration to me.

For me, coaching and writing is the perfect combination. While I can reach hundreds of thousands of readers worldwide through print, there is no substitute for the thrill of working with individuals, and being part of their own excitement as they tackle what has been holding them back and take charge of their own fulfillment.

Reviews

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is a realy good book that helps you through when your world has fallen apart due to divorce. It is sensible and practical. The only thing I would change is that the section on "what went wrong" is right at the front - and looking at what went wrong isn't something you can do when your husband has just packed his bags and walked out of the door - it is too raw. I would move that section to the back.

This books is really supportive, and explains that what you are going through is normal, and will end, and that is so comforting. I read so many paragraphs that "spoke to my condition", that pinpointed exactly what I was feeling, or struggling with, or worried about.

I refer to this book all the time.

2012

I read the book again, and found that it also is really good at helping you see truths about yourself. For instance, Relate counsellors ask their clients to start to do things each day to give themselves pleasure - such chosing a meal they like etc. They say that if you don't know how to give yourself pleasure, then when someone comes into your life, you will focus on their pleasure, and end up resentful and hurt when this isn't reciprocated. There is lots in the book to help the reader to examine themselves, and maybe to find a better way of living, one that gives them a better chance of happiness.

[No0or · Rating 4 out of 5]

For those people who broke up or about to..
This book will help you a lot.. It gives you deep understanding for whats going on and how to deal with that..