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An Unlikely Hero
It's the beginning of August, 1815. The dishonourable John Sebastian Smirke, a heartless pretty narcissist, has had another genuine offer of marriage rejected by a sneering Papa. Offended and infuriated, he executes the perfect revenge; blackmailing the virgin concerned into his bed. His web is skilfully woven; success is assured until he's caught in his own web. Fate throws him a safety rope, but it looks too much like a noose. Fate shrugs its shoulders as Smirke insists on running the gauntlet. His black marble heart has an insatiable need to be loved and admired, but his only developed talent is causing creative misery. Outside his immediate family he's universally hated. The word love has no emotional definition in his brain while the word romance can only be conceived as a state of heightened sexual pleasure. As he meets death at the end of a rapier in a senseless duel of honour he belatedly longs to find a woman who can love him, whatever that means.
Smirke’s in luck. He’s failed so miserably to learn even the basic skills of humanity that he's being sent back to his body to succeed or suffer his own hellish company. His desire to avoid hell is heightened by the fact that Heaven has located one woman under the age of seventy who’ll love him. He's determined to find and marry this mysterious Joan as quickly as possible so he can have sex without getting the pox and ending up back in hell, but she could be anywhere. Of course if he'd been paying attention he'd have realised that there was only one female who could be the saintly Joan.
Miss J. Lark, Smirke’s unmet ward, has been living in Lincolnshire dying of loneliness. Learning Smirke will be in Bath for the winter Joan impulsively sets off to meet her wicked guardian and see if he’s as beautiful as his portrait. Love opens its toolbox and sets to work on Smirke's marble heart. Hit by a sledgehammer, Smirke learns the hard way that love is far more than physical pleasure.
Smirke’s in luck. He’s failed so miserably to learn even the basic skills of humanity that he's being sent back to his body to succeed or suffer his own hellish company. His desire to avoid hell is heightened by the fact that Heaven has located one woman under the age of seventy who’ll love him. He's determined to find and marry this mysterious Joan as quickly as possible so he can have sex without getting the pox and ending up back in hell, but she could be anywhere. Of course if he'd been paying attention he'd have realised that there was only one female who could be the saintly Joan.
Miss J. Lark, Smirke’s unmet ward, has been living in Lincolnshire dying of loneliness. Learning Smirke will be in Bath for the winter Joan impulsively sets off to meet her wicked guardian and see if he’s as beautiful as his portrait. Love opens its toolbox and sets to work on Smirke's marble heart. Hit by a sledgehammer, Smirke learns the hard way that love is far more than physical pleasure.
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First published December 20, 2010
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About the author
Cari Hislop
10 books17 followersI’m an American married to an adorable English Goblin. I’m an artist with a degree in fashion design, but I’ve always been a story teller. Stories are everywhere; in every scent, every glimpse out of the corner of the eye. The most magical moments of my life have been born of ‘what if?’.
I’ve been making up stories as long as I can remember. At ten I started writing (it was a romance – the girl’s parents are killed by a plane falling on their house so of course she moves to England. Don’t ask me where she got the money or the passport!). I knew I was going to grow up to be an author! All my artistic talents (portrait artist, sculptor, illustrator) converge on my favorite subject; people. I find both individuals and general humanity endlessly fascinating.
I’ve been making up stories as long as I can remember. At ten I started writing (it was a romance – the girl’s parents are killed by a plane falling on their house so of course she moves to England. Don’t ask me where she got the money or the passport!). I knew I was going to grow up to be an author! All my artistic talents (portrait artist, sculptor, illustrator) converge on my favorite subject; people. I find both individuals and general humanity endlessly fascinating.
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
August 8, 2013
It seems I had forgotten that I knew about this author.
Written in the same chaotic style and with incomphrehensible characters as the other book by this author this one tells the story of John Sebastian Smirke who is a ... vain unpleasant guy in love with himself and who cant stand "ugly" people (thats pretty much everyone else) and that goes around calling for his "mamma" constantly. Hes a mamas boy and when he learns his mama got married he throws a tantrum.
A grown man..throwing a tantrum..sure thats attractive. Im not sure but I think this was intended to be comedic. It really isnt.
But he surely must have some other traits that arent abominable. Not really.
When he takes his last little "hobby" (blackmailing virgin ladies to sleep with him) he gets whats coming to him and beaten up and left for dead.He in fact actually dies.
But heaven gives him another chance and hes sent back to life on the condition that he has to find his true love wich will be the only woman he will be able to have sex with without catching the pox. The womans name is Joan.
Oh and he has a ward that he knows simply as J.Larkin who decides to come visit her guardian.Do you see where this is going?
Hint hint:shes named Joan
Dont read this one. I am serious.
Written in the same chaotic style and with incomphrehensible characters as the other book by this author this one tells the story of John Sebastian Smirke who is a ... vain unpleasant guy in love with himself and who cant stand "ugly" people (thats pretty much everyone else) and that goes around calling for his "mamma" constantly. Hes a mamas boy and when he learns his mama got married he throws a tantrum.
A grown man..throwing a tantrum..sure thats attractive. Im not sure but I think this was intended to be comedic. It really isnt.
But he surely must have some other traits that arent abominable. Not really.
When he takes his last little "hobby" (blackmailing virgin ladies to sleep with him) he gets whats coming to him and beaten up and left for dead.He in fact actually dies.
But heaven gives him another chance and hes sent back to life on the condition that he has to find his true love wich will be the only woman he will be able to have sex with without catching the pox. The womans name is Joan.
Oh and he has a ward that he knows simply as J.Larkin who decides to come visit her guardian.Do you see where this is going?
Hint hint:shes named Joan
Dont read this one. I am serious.
Displaying 1 of 1 review